The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Philly Week (feat. Tommy Pope & Chris O'Connor)

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Chris O'Connor & Tommy Pope complete Philly Week by talking sex with the guys!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@AChrisOConnor https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475@TommyJPope https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. It's the Bonfire! Fashion Talk 103 Series XM, I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Okreson. Joining us to continue the Philadelphia week from the Stuff Island podcast

by way of Philadelphia. Now some a story of Queen's residents. Yes sir. We're sure I'm proud to say. Welcome to the show, Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope. Go download the podcast. What's up boys? What's up guys?

Good to see you faces. Nice to see you. J loves having a fellow Eagles fan on the week of the playoffs. Yeah, it's the first words he said to me and that's why I love that boy Yeah, I Currently black Lou and I are enemies since he's a cowboys fan. Are you not an Eagles fan Chris? No, I'm an Eagles fan Okay, no, I don't know if you were giants or Eagles. I grew up jets. Okay, so I went looking for options. Yeah It's hard. I lived in Philly for 20 years. And then I became an Eagles fan.

Obviously, like, that's like, back down. What? Yeah, yeah. Becky on like lived that you live. I think if you live in Philly past 10 years, you're bullied into being an Eagles fan. You got a jump on board. Yeah. You got to upgrade your make sense because because some of your best times were rooted around good things happening with the teams and some of your worst, you know, I mean, like it's you just get emotional, even if you don't care with the teams and some of your worst, you know, I mean, like it's, you just get emotional. Even if you don't care about the teams, you're Eagles winning day. Yeah.

Everything in the city is a little bit better. Dude, I remember the shit season, like there's actual funk in the town. What really solidified it for me is I started bar backing. Okay. And then it's like, you're in the back. We need to make the playoffs. Yeah, you're in the back. Money depends only like that. If you take a run, you're going to make fucking thousands more.

Yeah. Months go on of just great nights. I remember leaving the stadium when the box beat the Eagles and the national championship. This is a shit. Not in the national championship, but in the NFL. NFC championship. And it was, I remember that more than my grandma was funeral.

Like in terms of everyone exiting the building, it was the worst thing. It's losing your mind. Losing as an NFL fan, when you get as far as the NFC or AFC Championship game or the Super Bowl is a different feeling. I got to go to the Super Bowl in 2019 and it was the worst exit of a stadium.

It was like leaving after surgery. You don't really remember it. It was like, I don't, I want to get out of here. I want to go home. I don't like any of this. Well, we did go home and do perks. Good for you work. Come on. Do you remember? I just said one year hotel room in Miami with my girlfriend and I like, I wasn't furious. The one year the Eagles got knocked out of playoffs by the Falcons and it was, the game was in Philly and they lost the game, but at half time, like, jaw rule performed and he came out wearing like Atlantic, it was crazy.

It's a bit twice in Philly. The other one was when Destiny's Child came out wearing Laker stuff. And everyone was like, what are you doing? Yeah, I was like, what is this? Are you crazy? Are you out of your fucking mind? Like at the Sixers Lakers finals, they came out and were like, it was insane. But, first of all, jaw rule for an eagle's audience,

it really isn't the only, maybe more so now. Well, they probably all went to Delilah's afterwards and he was probably performing there. It's the whole point. But he was like walking through, he's performing in the audience. He's like walking through the house. You just see, he's like, as he performed,

he's like, big, fat, silly guy sitting there, like, who the fuck is this? Why is this guy so loud? You guys really in my fucking shit. What would I be without you? You know my self is a guy. Yeah, I don't know you, get the fuck away from him. Yeah, it's that looking at my daughter.

Yeah, it is hot dog vendors rhyming for some fucking reasons. Yeah. Yeah. Philly fans are fun because you guys are dangerous. So you're fun from afar as a as an opposing team. It's I just don't I won't ever go to a Eagles game. Go Niners, dude. Yeah. Go Niners this week. I got a corners cowboys. That's great to see.

The Niners are it was fun. That was a great game. Well, the week 17. Yeah. It was a heart attack. It was a great game. It was a fucking hard. It was a bad way to win those. Those are those amazing. Yeah. You got to feel good for Garapolo. Uh, yeah. I mean, I was first half. Uh, I'm off. I'm off. Like, this is his last push. He's even said that. I read an article today that Kyle used to check our fullback came up to him before the Rams game was like, this is our last regular season. He's like, I'm almost done with, uh,

football. I'm gonna go full time pussy. Crush. He's gonna say dude. He's gonna go to every quarterback and I that I played in the NFC West and fuck their mom. He injured thumb had me scared. I think Traylances is a young kid, but I think he's gonna be really good. He's gonna be great. He's gonna be very good. I don't know. I hope he make a push like to beat Cowboys.

Nine years Cowboys, it's fun seeing all the stuff come up. Black fluid, it's been fun, isn't it? See, and all it's been really fun. They've been bringing up like all old clips of the 90s and being like, Kyle Shanahan gave a press conference and he was like my players are too young They they're all born post-2000. Yeah, so a lot of these guys are like I don't derive or we have it They don't get it. They're like cool. Niners cowboys. What does it mean? And he's like it was Cuz Kyle's closer to my age and in middle school and in high that was it

That was like I know you guys Eagles cowboys Oh, sure, that's the best thing that the cowboys are so That was like, I know you guys, Eagles Cowboys, ain't no joke. That's the best thing. The Cowboys are so universally hated. Yeah. Because they're so universally loved by people who aren't from there, Black, Lou, I'm looking at you.

But I can't shit on that because I'm not from San Francisco and I love the Niners. But your dad was from that fucking bum fuck part of the Bay Area, right? It's called Oakland, it's not a bum fuck part. It's not that. Montana and Steve Young are a million times cooler than Aikman.

Well, you were saying growing up, you grew up, you got born into a Jets house, which sucks. Yes. Because you're just disappointed. Best you get to retread of boomer a size. That's why he looks at you the way he does when he talks about Saturdays. Saturdays.

He could give you a conversation about bread. And he has pain and death in his eyes. He's a test of Erdi Jersey. That's why I had to like back away from football a little bit as a fan because my Saturdays were Notre Dame and my Sundays were jets. Yeah. It's too much to take. Yeah, a lot.

It's a lot of dosage. It's a lot of dosage. Was Notre Dame not good? They struggled. Yeah, I mean, they were good when I was like five. Well, it's because every fucking five foot talk I that applies now, they have to let them play at least. Yeah. I mean, they were good when I was like, because every fucking five foot talk, I then applies now. They have to let them play at least. Yeah, at least give your dad a break from beating your mom. Yeah, mom healed up on Saturday and Sunday.

So that's when I ice that's when I ice and take my back. I really dive in. But grow, but I had like the reverse where I felt like I was born into a rich kid household, NFL wise, because I was like 49ers we just every year we're like who are we gonna play in the Super Bowl I wonder how if we're gonna get to the NFC championship game and then the Cal boys were the first team Well the Giants first but then the Cal boys started knocking us out and you're kind of like You do my point about the Cal boys is aFC teams go you don't know about the long-standing rivalries between the Jacksonville Jaguars And yeah, you know like it just happens to everyone hates rivalries between the Jacksonville Jaguars and the... Yeah. You know, it just happens to everyone hates them.

Everyone sees themselves as being the rivals in the Cowboys. I think directly what would make most sense for Philadelphia's most hated team would be the giants. Giants, because you guys are close. That's the hour and a half drive away. So it's like, that makes sense. It's right there. Maybe after that would definitely be the football team. Yeah.

And then Dallas doesn't make sense that would definitely be the football team. And then like, uh, Dallas doesn't make sense. They're in the division, let alone to have some iron for the place. Like, I agree with you. Philadelphia, like, what would you probably have a Dallas? It goes, I'm sure it's lovely, actually. I think it's so far away. It's not a place that's like this. That's competing for what's the coolest, you know, Boston makes

sense. Boston, you know, like Boston in New York, that rivalry makes sense. Really like, I got it. But again, before they reshuffled the divisions, this is how old we were with the old NFC West NFC Central NFC East. We played 49ers were in the NFC West with the Falcons in the New Orleans Saints in the Carolina Panthers. We were basically in the NFC South.

The only team that we had was the Rams, which was LA, which makes sense. But it's weird now, because the Cowboys, you're right, everyone, they also, they call themselves America's team. So they're putting it on you. We're the team of America, and you're like, fuck you.

But I don't like you guys. Oh, like Lou, they had a week to be in a little tiny square on our computer screen. I can't be in the room to defend it, but the other team I've seen I called it. What's going on? I didn't hate everyone. I hated Emmett Smith. I mean, I did too. They were a hate. I know that I was an out of the harper. I had actually I don't really have this anymore because I just go all home.

Like all home team shit, but I like jerseys of like favorite players outside. I would never dreamed of getting a cat. Like I hated them all like I had a all-stop Jersey. I had a war zone. I'm Jersey. I had a man. I had like fucking Jersey. I think I had a Ricky Williams when he first came out like two for years. I had a hard time convincing myself that Aikman was a great sports announcer. I had to objectively wonderful. At Moose Johnson. I can't stop looking at his hands like Hands like slamming a helmet at 130 miles an hour. I mean, I mean it wins hands do when he like when he lifts them up They're just like, but now they're so broken and gigantic

You're a twig when Charlie's uncle his molester on will put on fake hands and always Yeah, put your hands over mine. They're copp-ass going to which way do you go? Yeah. There you go. Every time he points, it's a riddle. You got to let me break it back in. But he's so fucking good at getting Roma.

The best announcer in the last five to ten years. Let me disagree with you. Why? Hold heartedly on that. Why? Because he was good his first year. Then someone told him he was good. Oh, really?

And now he just does this thing that we'll. Maybe you'll whisk it up. We call this and he's coronaed up. I don't know if too much of those corona is about to desk. We in our house, we call it Tony Rolowing, where all you do is you go, now look at this guy. This guy's looking over here and he's going, there's nowhere to go right there.

So he goes right there. You will not be able to hear that the next time you watch Tony Rolow and he goes, where he goes, And then you know you got to look at this running back and this running back is looking at this receiver like hey are we on the same page? So we do that with our dog all the time. We're like this Tony Rommel Mertle. We go Mertle is going it's dinner time. Where's the dry food? We're rehydrating it. I hold long term. I even spell the one. I hold long term sports like Ravri.

He's like, I don't want to hear Michael Irvin say anything. I don't care. I just don't want to hear him talk. I just like fuck. I don't know why. I just, that was my fate. When I was on Oddball tour, we, Tony Romo came to the show. We didn't Dallas and the guy whose tour bus I was on the owner of one of the owners of the tour Huge Cowboys fan. So what I was sitting in my bunk Tony Romo came on the bus. Oh god

I hear him in the front of the bus just talking and introducing everybody and I start texting everybody home I got Tony Romo's my bus And I start texting everybody home. I got Tony Roman's in my bus. He's an Eagles fan. They're going like, what people, I thought were Eagles fans, I just say, they were like, oh my god, like go meet them. It's like, I go, no.

Yeah. It's just a test. But they're like, what if he's a good guy? I'm like, I'm sure he's a fantastic guy. But I don't want to meet. And then I went outside. I feel my one and only ever periscope was, what periscope is the thing?

Yeah. I go, hey everybody, doing this for Philly, and I go, I'm gonna cold shoulder Tony Romo, and I just profile me walking by him, and two of his boys, not paying attention to me, walk by at all, it was so far away, I was like, that's how you do it, fuck Tony Romo, and then I turned down, going,

Jeff Ross was like, Tony's taking his all to the stake house, I was like, I'm not going. I mean, you're being ridiculous, and I was like, I'm not going. I mean, you're being ridiculous. And I was like, I don't think I am. I don't want to I want to root for this guy to break his collarbone every I respect the fuck out of the fact that you turned down a free steak dinner because you love the bird so much. Yeah.

Listen, Dak Prescott came in and I said, exactly what I hated what was going to happen happened. You had Dak on the show. He was, yeah, he came on. Black lose a huge fan. So we did this. So we did this. We did a thing where Black Lou asked him real questions as a cowboys fan. I was in the middle because I'm a

Niners fan so I could take love. And then Jay hit him with one of the funniest things in the world. He didn't say anything the whole interview. And then the NJ goes real quick question. Is it true that Trey Eggman and Michael Irvin show up the training camp and Tunkas all the rookies. And he goes, not the year I was there. He didn't say it doesn't have. But here's the thing, he laughed at that, he got it from the get go said he would play along with that thing. So now the backfire of it happens, I go.

You like him. Yeah, it's like, damn, a deck press guy was awesome. Yeah, he was a sweetheart of a guy. That's exactly why I don't want. I don't want to think he's an already guy. When you hear the interview, you can hear me break when he says he loves NCAA college football, the video game, and I was like, I love that game. I love that game.

I love that game. That press card was a thousand times more engaging and cool to me than Nick Folls was. Yeah, yeah. So was- All his blood was running, it was dick. Yeah. He got a little aroused and he couldn't think.

Nate was opening for John Panette at Caroline's and I was meeting him there after like a fucking hell set at Broadway. And I walked over because we're gonna go to the bar and he's like, oh, I'm opening for Panette, I'm gonna be done and we'll go to the bar. And he's like, he calls me, he's like, Phil Sims is here. I'm gonna stick around and meet him.

And again, same thing, old rivalry. Phil Sims knocked the Niners out of the playoffs. Early nineties and I was like, fuck Phil Sims. And he's like, you're not gonna come downstairs and meet Phil Sims. I was like, you better hope I don't tackle him when he comes outside. Was Phil Sims the quarterback

when the famous Niners missed in the field goal? No, that was in the NFC Playoffs I think that was Hofstetter Jeff Hofstetter Sims might have been injured Sims fucked with us a bunch But I get it I totally get that like I don't want to talk to them. I don't know Phil Sims He stinks. He was also a terrible you listen to him do color commentary He's got no pigment in anything Yeah, he does he's's like, what is this? You're supposed to have a blonde skin. How do you, how do you, blonde eyebrows with blonde skin?

How are you a toe-headed old man? Take it easy, ghost. Yeah, dude. It's hard to see him at him, boom, where you could see it a bit. But Phil Sims, you're like, were you ever, were you the one quarterback who never got pussy in high school and didn't fuck any of the cheerleaders?

You just saw the fuck the band. Same reason guys like Ron Jeremy. Yeah, he's not supposed to fuck by the way. Exactly. And then it comes out he goes actually every time he's ever had sex was a rape and you're like that adds up more. I knew I was chasing a dream. I was foolish. I was. You can't fuck all that hot ass for nothing for because they want it. Black loose. Black loose as Troy Akman stinks as a color commentator. What? He doesn't like him as a commentator.

Thanks. And he repeats the same story as like an old man at a party. Really? Whenever it rains, he's like, you know, I was at a ball game back with the Cowboys in 92. And I got to tell you when the ball gets slick, it's really slippery. And then in the third quarter, who will say that same exact story.

I mean, black alluded to defend a man that I don't really like. He also left the NFL cause of concussions. So it's only a matter of what I'll say fuck Troy Ekman and Hulk Hogan for making me think that it was a good idea to pay $20,000 over the course of 80 years for a cabinet system stereo. Yeah. You got hustled by Holcombania. A $40 increments to the rest of my life.

You know, a Holcombania is, it's saying your prayers, taking your vitamins, payment to $990. And stealing money from a rent home. And then they go, oh, by the way, you can get out of the same time you want. If you want to just pay the full price for what this would have been new, it's not going to cost you 20 grand anymore, but it is going to cost you four grand. Let Let me tell you something brother. I got a terrible idea for you buy this couch for fucking tonight

I got a cabinet stereo system in my bedroom with my mom's house from rennet center I couldn't have been talking to my mom and step up more like they haven't figured this out You guys are idiots. Yeah, you guys are buying everything in here. You know mom mom they had couches there And maybe an outside tent if we want to throw kins and yarris or something my friends parents owned a low-level Version of a rent on and Denver and a mom and pop rent Which is looking to their stuff because are you using those candles sticks to go? Which is walking to their stuff because are you using those candle sticks to go Armed like three dollars a week. Yeah, there's a pack of Doritos on a top left shelf. Can I keep that? What about this picture of your middle son

Two bucks a month two bucks a month out of Sallow I'd like to let girls when they walk in think that I have family Remember that picture your Nana and you and say it was me. Yeah, five hours ago That's a sentimental one. That one's gonna cost you five. Who's your mom just knocks up going, my keys I think are in the top left hand. Hey, who's letter jacket from the 50s is that? That's my dad's dead brother.

Do you want to, what do you think? What's that worth, what do you think? What are we talking? Seven bucks a month? I never got, no, call it 12 months. But I never understood what they did and then I was like, wait, is he's your rent it? And then they don't buy it? And they're like, yeah. And I was like, alright.

Pretty sweet. Pretty sweet. Yeah, I'd never just give it to somebody else. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's Oh, Dave Phil Sims. What got you? What got you? 54. Oh, that day, Times Square rang with the colliding of a comedian combined with a hall of fame talent. Phil Sims realized that not all performers in Times Square are there to take a picture of. Fuck Phil Sims. Go left, for the block Running is the fucking best Even quicker But there come that come to come to fill cap fill a cap

Even quicker All right, all right, good play all right, I see you I see you six seven you come with it all right six seven you looking good Christine do you have that video I sent you earlier in the week that I'd like to show Kristen Tommy about a woman saying that we need to stop. These are awards in terms I've never used by the way for someone tag this and this This is like finding out information. I wasn't supposed to hear. I feel like yeah, well, this is from a clip I don't even know what show it's from but someone tagged us in this tweet. I thought it was really funny So I was like sex sex expert. I thought she was dead A sex expert says that black people are too comfortable using disturbing language like, I'm gonna beat that, beat up that pussy,

and I'm gonna murder the pussy to describe sex. Yeah, when you're cock, when your cock is a weapon of destruction, give me all the money, give me all the money. Dick has a license plate on it, that's the fucking war. I'm gonna put a whole family of babies inside of you.

This is a fan, it's a fan of him. I'm gonna impreg whole family of babies inside of you. This is a van, it's a van of cars. I'm gonna impregnate five different eggs. I don't exhale, I go, for her. I said, sssss. I can't. Oh, the bus, oh, you're taking the D22.

Oh, oh, fuck yeah. So this is her holding a Cloth pussy with that's a slide pussy. I'm gonna drive a brown van through your pussy The turns she uses I've never heard though. Yeah play Oh, you gonna know put a microphone next to the pussy Christine. Hello Christine they need to make it to pussy we're trying to get the audio. It's also always a half black girl that that feels so strongly against black language Oh, I can have a black child. So anything about that? Oh, that wasn't her

Drops your drops give people whiplash. How did Christine say that? Christine's right there. Did I fall? That would be crazy. There you go. She jumped right away. I think it's like, you piece of shit. I was like, oh, what I feel. I didn't mean it. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Eagles box, Brady, Tom Brady's bad, Tom Brady crypto.

Did you see the commercial where Tom Brady's just calling all of his old friends in Boston and they're like, they're in, and they're like, fuck you, Tom, when are you coming home? I'll buy some fucking crypto. I just saw that. Get Brady coin. Met Damon one's unbearable. Crazy. I don't even know what that is.

Fortune favors the both. Oh, that's one in 20s in space. Yeah. Because a lot of, you know what, all these people have in common, they were all ripped off by currency that wasn't established. Yeah, and he's working. I don't know anything about crypto.

You're walking by like a lunar module or something. Yeah, he walks in a space. It's computer money, Dan. I know, dude. And people know as much as I know. Now, people are crazy about it. And they really give you the shit if you don't know about it.

Oh, yeah. I don't, though. I don't know anything about it. I just know yesterday I bought two million dollars worth of game stops. Am I late to the game? I bought a picture of a panda poking itself and it's asked for a hundred thousand dollars, but I own it forever Only I could use it. So You guys want to watch it? Five bucks. I got a digital picture of Kenny Rogers that I'm sitting on. I'm selling an NFT of that horrible closer from that special and so if you want you can only buy it personally

I didn't expect you to stoke the fires back up. I've never actually seen an NFT. Yeah either of I can maybe see I think you have yeah, I think it's someone like owns a meme now and like memes have like watermarks? T's just like a cartoon right? That's it. It's like buying like a cartoon cell. Yes. I thought but like we're all, we're just old. We're just old. We're just old.

You guys want to talk about pussy? Yeah. Someone told me that I should like do a crowd work show like a one off thing and make it an NFT. So I think it's just digital media, but there'd be one owner. So it's essentially like like if I took a dump more of it could that be an NFT? I think the best example was this that Martin Screly guy. I think so then Yeah, I was thinking about was just here the guy who bought the Wu Tang the Wu Tang albums technically an NFT

Do you get what I'm saying? It's like a one product thing? Yeah He's like, hey if You guys want to purchase the meal? Yeah. Unfortunately, hundreds of thousands of others lives are AI did. You know, it's Larry's. He has to, you watch that documentary. He has to submit part of his deal. He has to submit the album, the Wu Tang album, but the guy who made it, the Wu Tang album, who produced it, is actually kind of bummed about that because he was like, oh, man, the whole thing's the mystery

of what on this on that album, because when the album comes out, the news is over, right away, it's like, but isn't it kind of cool that it's this mystery? Is there anything on the album? It's weird when there's a crossover of a guy from another documentary, because Showtime did that four part Wu-Tang series,

and that guy was in it. Which is wonderful. And they were amazing. And they were talking about that guy making the album, and everyone else except Riza and the Wu-Tang, like that ain't a Wu Tang album That was us doing versus for we thought Risa was putting together one but that I promised you this is a

This is one of the greatest Wu Tang albums of all time and it's like met the man be like nah man. They shit Yo, is that the one they're sitting in the theater? Yes, it's so fun so fun. So good. All right. Let's see this video. Speed to pussy up Why are you trying to murder me? I want to be very very clear the language by Which is she's doing with a puppet by the way no one can see that she's doing the big pussy puppet And I tell you if you just focus on the puppet It was like a pussy's gonna get revenge. It was like Audrey too. Why? It's a little shop of horrors. Yeah.

I promise if you're pussy did that, no one would do it. We didn't lie down. Yeah, they also like to show pussy. I know because I can't say it. And it's a problem. Well, it's your nickname around the story. Wait, really? That really is a problem.

Do you have a weapon that are like, dude, tell me you're gonna destroy my vagina. No, he's actually told me this before. I'm gonna tell you this. Yeah. He's like, I masturbate're gonna destroy my vagina. No, he's actually told me this before. I'm gonna tell you this. Yeah. He's like, I masturbate to things I would say. Like, he said to get himself up and erect a warning sex with a girl that he might not be attracted to.

I said that. He did. He said, you think about what you would say to her. I think about things I would do. Right? I never said. If you were capable. Most of sex for me is thinking about doing something cool

Not doing it coming and feeling sad that's What was the cool plan? Dude saying saying I'm gonna fucking murder the bucks. Dude, that's so great. I would how you talk dirty is go Yeah, let me tell you what's gonna happen I'm gonna have a bunch of bad sexual thoughts crazy shit If you're mind if you're mind operating comedy like most of the time. It's hard I've been for a series right now. I couldn't roleplay because like so ridiculous I've never once had sex for my mind and not laughed a little I've never once been behind a girl and I've been like

Of course, yeah, dude I'll if I make a noise while coming if whether it's like my position or just exhaustion I'll immediately just start laughing. Yeah, one time she gets upset. DJ Liu has a drop that they found of a guy That sounds like me going a fucking love it So funny and it's it's like obviously deeper mine, but it's from a porn from a porn that someone sent in like is this so it's also a faceless It's a for any it's like doing the POV and he goes oh fucking love And I was when my girlfriend When I was when Katie I first started dating and we were having sex I was fucking love it and she listens to mom She's like no to that. Yeah, not to not do not do that. I was like I was being genuine. I do love it

Yeah, I love it so much. I want to say I fucking love it and it's one of the only Drop it's one of the only one to use I fucking love it. I fucking love it. I I really want to use my fucking love it. I fucking love it. I can't get that out of my repertoire. Yeah, I'm gonna bring up the whole fucking love it. There's only four. Dude, I love saying that. I do fucking love it. I just get done and go. Thank you. My favorite word. Me. SKG-O-O-D. You like that? It's good. It's good.

Yeah. I've caught myself with a yeah before I go. Yeah. And you're like, what am I yawning? Shut the fuck up, you idiot. I've had sex where the entire time the girl is saying dirty things to me. I just sit there quiet. Yeah.

So good. I just sit there like, yeah. She's like, even that is rare. I'll just be like, Wait, she's telling, she's like, she's like, even that, even that is rare. I'll just be like, mm-hmm. Wait, so you tell me she's like talking dirty in a way of it almost trying to get your attention? Yeah, like, hey, mister, I'm up over here on your dick.

Yeah. Do you like it sloppy like this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it stumps up because, are you close to coming? I feel like that has a lot of work to do. She's like, I'm a fucking titress. I'm gonna ride this. lot of work to do. She's got my fucking Tidra.

I'm gonna ride this. I'm gonna ride this all night. You filthy fucking asshole. Is it tight? That's what you thought it is. That I would feel comfortable not responding to almost. But it's, she'll lay out like a detailed story. Like today I was at work. Where would you do if you were?

I was just thinking about your fucking dick man inside me. I can't just, I like I just at work. Where would you do if you work? So wet. I was just thinking about your fucking dick being inside me and I can't just like I just did you get your parts? How was work? I would always work. I would always work. You were done with me. Did you just float on your days? Did you bump into Jenny?

Because I know you guys have had problems. Did how one from me? Did how one from HR get pissed? Fuck, you're at work. Yeah, work. Did you get your parking validate? Wait, when you work from home, you could just do that. Yeah, what do you mean? You can just masturbate. Why would you think you have lunch? I was in the other room.

I was in the other room. Good. And also just the idea of someone masturbating to me is so ridiculous. There's always made me laugh. There's always made me laugh. Why? I was thinking about fucking you. I'm like, you could think about fucking Jason Mahmoula. You think about fucking me. Yeah, by the way, you're thinking about fucking me. I'm like, you could think about fucking Jason Mahmoud, or what are you thinking about fucking me?

Yeah, by the way, you're thinking about fucking me, you're picturing like this, and we go all the worst. We go, just like facing the old time it. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Piece of sweat dripping off my bottom lip.

Dude, my fucking twer- It's like the inside of a refrigerator, she's like, just fucking angry garbage. Yeah. Oh, what is this? Why did I put this so far back? Or the inside of a refrigerator, he's like, just fucking angry, gravitation. Oh, what is this? Why did I put this so far back? I just made you for a bowl of this. Oh, you wanted to see what my face would look like

on a sunny bike ride going uphill. Just sweating. Ugh. Oh, fuck. You're just moving milk. Fucking, where is it? Where's the cream fucking cheese? I fucking don't have to laugh.

Is this milk checking the date on the milk? I did the broad topics podcast on guestages. I just did it today. Did you take your rectal temperature? No, I did. Oh no, she told me that you, Lewis, Harrington, players, dude. No, she said the weirdos that were excited to do it.

That's not what it was. I was being a good guest on a show. Is the most accurate temperature if you shoot the gun at your asshole? I don't know. I would do that. Yeah. I'm laser. I'm laser gun my ass. I was 98. I was 98. I was 98. One of my doaker. Lewis is 100 even. Yeah. That's it. But. Oh no. No, I'm sorry. I was 98 one mouth, which I did afterwards. Did you ask to know?

I ate him to it. Yeah. I ate him to it. No, I did mouth first. I was 98.1, but was 99.4. Right on the edge. Well, guess what? Stop trying to kill me.

I'm a pussy. Let me fuck it and suck it. Some of the stuff she says coming up right here, I've never heard. Yeah. We talk about sex in black communities is disturbing. We talk about often, a beat it up. I'm going to.

How about the halfway? Yeah, I'm going to say, also the hand is more disrespectful. Her attitude right now is a little more of putting in her fucking. Don't beat up my pussy. Make love to this pussy. I told you so many times.

You cannot do that to my pussy. Did you hear the second one? The second one makes no sense. I've heard I'm gonna beat the pussy up. Yeah, I do it back real quick. Make zero sense. Because it's white guy territory. If we're gonna say this, you're opening a hole.

Yeah, this is a test. I'll show you. Check this out. Yeah, beat it up. I'm gonna shoot up the cliff. I'm gonna murder the pussy'm gonna shoot up the club. I'm a murder the pussy. Shoot up the club. And by the way, let's bring it, dude.

I'm a white guy from Colorado. You want to add that into my sexual talk? Or am I going to make everyone pay in the mall? Shoot up. She's like, what? I'm going to make everyone. I'm going to go to school. I'm going to make everyone learn my name. I'm going to sleep outside your window for a couple weeks. You know I'm there. I'm a learning, learning how you work, learning your routines, learning your fears.

I know that jerking off, and like, so you come in your hand and then throw it at a prison guard, it's called gunning. Oh, is it? Is it? Well, I'll tell you what, maybe shoot up the club. I was shooting up your tent.

I was taking shoots of the club. Just for a little extra club? Yeah, to me, shoot up the club sounds like an indoor thing. It sounds like you're talking about like coming inside of this. I don't know. Who says who? That's so good. I'm a fucking coming.

I'm going to shoot the club up. Excuse me. Jesus. No, no, no. Please don't. No, you may just just injure those two guys on the outside. Do you want to get the balancer? Do you want to know?

Do you want to be like late? The two balancer labios. What do you want? What do you want? It was funny toancer labios? What do you want? What do you want? It was funny to build a whole narrative Yeah, it was just a club What do you want?

It literally clips the manager Where's the bathroom in there? Huh? Can I speak to your lecture second? You might if I shoot up the sign at least? So I shoot the sign? You mean shoot the sign at your tits? Yeah, you're two billboards?

You're billboards? Can I put it on the billboards? Yeah, you want me to fucking give you a late 90s post office? Maybe just a couple of employees that I don't get along with. Um, I'm actually turning around. I want to put it your PO box. I'm gonna start calling out specific school shootings. I'm like, oh, it just grunts an employee. This pussy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you want me to fucking pearl Mississippi this? Yeah. Just three kids. You just go in class room to classroom with your friend orgasm.

Yeah. Fingering is writing a letter. You got an active shooter? You got a fucking active shooter? Oh, I'm going to Emmett Till, that pussy. I'm going to falsely accuse it. I'm going to hang it up. How about the whole town coming through stones at it? Call me Harrison Clebold. Call me Harrison Clebold.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fucking call me Clebold. Call me, you want Call me fucking Clebold? Call me Dylan Clebold? I'm a fucking baby, I'm a drink with my- It's better to go in the other way, you're coming fucking clea bold coming don't call them a funny But it's better to go in the other way though like fucking you go like sandy hook was all crisis after All they never found bodies at pulse nightclub show me these grieving parents now where they now What are you fucking student ever jenny attack?

You're gonna run away from you. I got two oozees There's gotta be someone that works for it. Oh my god. I'm gonna join my plane right in your twin tower Bluey. Oh, yeah I'm on a water tower. Oh, I'm in a fucking water tower picking off nurses. Yeah Fucking reloaded Yeah, I think anyone says shoot the club. Oh, I'm gonna say I'm gonna lower your pussy in a van as a clown And then I'm gonna take you in a scary basement. I'm gonna feed you a meals It'll sustain you for the next 10 years. Well, I constantly rape you and I kick you into abortion I'm what they call a show. I'm a show killer

I'm gonna fucking pose your body so the person that finds it. Oh, I will be forever scar I'm sorry and I'm like well, I came about five minutes ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is exciting. Dude, that is, I've said, I've only had that happen once. I think I can remember with a girl who I just wasn't attracted to that I was hooking up with. And after I came, she kept like the energy up.

I'm alive, yeah. And I was, it was so immediate. Like I came, I think she was even rubbing it like, in the word body, and she was it was so immediate like I came I think she was even like rubbing it like in their body and she was just like ooh and I was just like I have to meet my friends with a diner to my favorite one it is like shutting the lights off though dude my favorite one was I've busted it was just like a hook up reliant in my bed this is like over 10 years ago reliant in my windowless room in my bed and we had hooked up And she had been we'd both been drinking but she was like still in that sexy mode after I busted

And she was like we're just laying in bed and she's laying on me and then she starts sucking my nipple And she looked up at me and I just laughed at her. I was like, what are you doing? Of course, that looks fine. Yeah, with a nipple in your mouth My hairy nipple your mouth. My hairy nipple. Just to push off this. I've done that too. And then went later, if you're jerking off, you know, months later, you're like, why didn't I just let us suck with it? Nipple and do it one again. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Dude, the rewrites, you go. The rewrites that you give on all of your life. I tricked off to rewrites probably more than you. Remember, I was like really annoyed and I had a headache

and I didn't want to fuck her right now. Yeah, yeah, dude. You were thinking about X's where you're like, I really wanted to put her head through a pain glass window. I mean, if I was just want to fuck her, maybe I would have been like, She would have been cool. I don't know about, I don't know about the good sex.

I go back to like the weird awkward shit. The ones you miss. The ones you miss. Or the ones you hit, but like it was so weird that like you wanted to, yeah, I guess a miss. Like, you still had sex, but like you remember one part of that sex

and you fantasized and you extend that weird aspect. I've done Redoos because I don't think I did a good enough job. That's what I'm saying. I'd run that back. I'd run that back. You were seven. Yeah. Yeah, with a girl that was like,

there was one girl that, you know, I was friends with and she was like, we were like we should have sex and we had sex and was terrible and then after that I was like I've done that again. Here's what I did what wrong. Yeah, let me break it down for you I fucked somebody like years apart with like a long long time at which we you know, I mean No, we had sex years like this is years ago, but I'm saying since then I've been like oh You're saying you gotta redo no, I didn't get a redo. We but I'm saying since then I've been like, I think you're saying you got a redo. No, I didn't get a redo. We, we, we hooked up and then, I was thinking I never had a redo ever where I was like,

I had a redo. I never had a redo. Check it out now. I had a reverse redo where it was great sex. And then terrible. She was a bartender, yeah. And five or six years after that, she was in New York for whatever. I'm gonna get.

Yeah. And when we hit sex again, and I was her name fest. She was in town for Debbie Wagner fest. Oh, God damn it. Oh, God damn it. I gave her full legal. And then I continued like the same vibe. I was just like, you know, last time I met you, your sexual beast, and she was just in a different headset or something. And I was going, maybe I was two.

And then she was like, relax. Stop. Stop trying to do the things. Stop, stop gunning up my stuff. Stop shooting up the club, you fucking am. This girl that I met, I met this girl when I lived in Tucson and I was like 19 and we hooked up and she was 19 and we had hooked up and it was like for a summer. In between, you know, and I was like, oh, this is, or I got back from Alaska, we started hooking up and then through the and we had hooked up and it was like for a summer in between, you know, and I was like, oh, this is, or I got back from Alaska, we started hooking up and then through the fall,

we hooked up and then she disappeared. And we had great sex. Four years later, she was in the Navy and she got back and she was like, hey, I'm back in town, you wanna hang out? And she was more like muscular, I think. Then she was like, and she came with like, you know, the Navy Bob

Like the Like the Jack she came over to my apartment with me in a mirror and she was like, you know I was like I don't know if she's still gonna be attracted to my dad boy friend the Navy were gonna hang out She was like let's have sex. I came so fast. Oh my god. I apologize in a way that I stand for the anthem now every time. You're like, she was like, let's go to your bedroom. I was like, let's in, then almost as fast as she said that. I was like, it's happening. You're coming to missiles and then she was like,

I just remember her putting on her Navy T shirt. That was like, I'm a dog. It's like it's hard to get on it. And I was like, I disappointed you. Dude, I love coming fast. How do you feel about coming fast? Hate it. Really? I love it. It's like cartoon on it and I was like I disappointed you Love coming fast. How do you feel about coming fast? Hey, did really I love it? It's the best I feel like I threw a pick God God it wasn't even a long time. I didn't even see if sitting in the flat

I just turn it Now I'll start a whole pussy eating thing in the middle of it just so that if I feel I'm gonna come fast, I'm like, I'll just jump in. I act like I'm being generous, so I'm like, I'm just like down here for a second. No, I think coming fast is the ultimate compliment.

It is, should I tell her that bit? Or is that compliments to the chef? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a compliment in the long term, but in the moment, it's a let down. I think 100% of the time. Well, you do have to gather it up again. You got to get going inside of an hour.

The clock starts ticking. Man, inside of an hour, I see you got 20 minutes. It's not an hour. 20 minutes of four plays. There is nothing better than making all of the... When you're a horny man with a woman, you make divorce dad promises. We're like, I'm gonna get you a bike. We're going to Disneyland.

All this stuff is happening. And then you come and you're like, then you're a weekend dad. We're like, peace kid. I don't know where the birthday card is. Check both of them. Dude, I remember I told you, I may have told some show before,

but the girl that I tell the story on Aries show. Yeah. The gang bang girl. No, always the one with Kurt. Yeah. The, yeah, Jay Yang. Bang girl. No, always the one with Kurt. Yeah. Yeah, with Kurt and my buddy Glenn. And we, uh, that girl, like a year or so later, maybe two years later, I was like, uh, so this is Rascals Days.

Yeah. Rascals, Sherry Hill, Sherry Hill. Yeah. Shout out to Red Robin and Sherry Hill. One of my favorite places to eat on the land. Yeah. Well, my favorite to eat on the way robin in Cherry Hill. One of my favorite places to eat on the land. My favorite to eat on the way to Crayper.

Thesonburg. Go on there. But what you got, fuck where was I just. Oh, you're talking about rascals. Rascals, yeah. The girl from the gang bang story. Yeah. One night after there, we went to,

we went to this diner and she'd happen to be there. I saw her there and I was like, oh shit. Is that a gang, my girl? She actually looks like good. She's like, oh shit. Is that guy in my girl? She actually looks like good. Looks like she's like even like lost weight and whatever. And I was like, maybe there's drugs or maybe what I'd sell my problem.

We're just dealing with this tonight. Could be sadness. We're in town for rascals. It would work out great. And then we got there and she was like talking. We were catching up as much as you can. And then we were like, hey, we're going back to the crown plaza.

We just grew up. Yeah. It was. You mean my seven strange friends? I think it may have been like me, Dorosa, and my buddy, Josh Wade, or something, I think, but maybe not. But whatever it was, it was buddy's, and I was like, you can back think of she goes, oh, she goes, I don't do that anymore.

And then I, you start backing out, because you're like, oh, I didn't want to, now I feel like it was insulting. So she's like, she goes, no, I don't do that. Even as she's saying that, I'm going, I'm like, oh, no, no, I was just saying like the hang or whatever I got to do. But she goes, I don't do that anymore for free.

And I was like, oh, you want pro. Go ahead, go ahead. That makes more sense than now being like, no, I used to take on all comers the second I meet them. That's what she lost with you. She was now fighting in a promotion. Yeah, she did. I don't need all of it.

Only one of that. Here's basic price points. It slides a laminated thing across the table. I was so hilarious how the saddard seems. She was like, no, I do that for money now. I go, oh, I thought you just ended with. Yeah, I chased what you love, I guess. I think the biggest compliment is not coming face.

It's getting back up fast. Yeah, second, third round. Second, third round. Second, third round. That's what it looks like. Holy shit. I look like an island. Why don't you come fast to usually get it back pretty quick?

Sometimes my second boners better than my first one. That's how I'm gonna say. Because the nerves are down. You also lose the, oh geez, I'm sorry. There's a punch in it, dude. I mean, he's a great mind. He's a good, you pick up everything. You're losing all the anxiety in the mental games.

Once you get all that out? It's like, all right, I ran my route a couple of times. Yeah, let it pop. Just get it out. Get the venom out and then grow from there. Grow as a person. Yeah, I have friends. They beat off in the bathroom.

That's crazy. I have had that. I have had that. I've never done that, but I've done that before, but I'm bigger on Come Fast. See if I can not let anybody even know that. Oh, so it's very self-fascinated. That's dangerous.

That's like when you, that was like when I used to eat cooked like in. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying it's like, no, no, no, no. I'm saying it's like, it's happening and I'm like, it's past the point. Like, it's going to happen. I mean, like, I just kind of get now completely

and just being like, almost like, I've been an actor like if it's condomsoms acting like you're changing the condom You're like yeah, I'm gonna take this off a little bit. It's getting a little weird. No, I'm saying sacrificing my own Enjoying coming right just get it out to not Seem like I'm out of the game. That's like what I said I can say that I go if especially was like something like newer like if you eat or pussy for another few minutes Like you'll get work back up again., and it'll be like it never happened. One of the most confident I've ever seen in one of the times I was like,

I'm gonna come, this is a while ago, I was like, I'm gonna come fast and she was like, okay, do it, I'll get you back and you're like, who were you? Like the charity, go for pussy. Oh my god. All right, here's this wet noodle. Are you now? It's the best. Told you, it's bowl on bubble gum.

Yeah, neutral bowl of a mouth That was hands down on my best sexual experiences was like yeah, we fucked and The girl was like you're got a hand job with a finger in your ass, and I was like no she was like what? Lay down Understand it Let me work Let me work. There's no pressure. Get on the floor.

You're gonna feel like a fucking cow. Yeah, it's like a little dicky, you know, in the episode where you can do that. See if you could jack down. That's the sexual padding. You're stopping, you're stopping, you're stopping, you're stumbling your head. What if Christine nails it first shot?

She's like, there's no problem at all. She goes, what do you guys want? One of these two? She's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. She goes, I can do one of these. I can do up and down, but I can't do up and down at the same time. She has more of a press and hard. It's more of a reset button. It's very difficult. It's hard to do. The finger and it ends up coming a lot of tug and then a couple of jams. If you jam too much,

you go. Yes. It's a half. It's easy ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow I can't stop slamming you gotta get one going. No now Dan. No, you're fingering. I don't know what position you are fucking this person Angle it's not straight down. Oh, you can definitely do that if you did but now you're the legs Oh, yeah, that's right. You're gonna rush the trombone the way I'm describing this I'm behind somebody on all fours. Yeah That's all right. You're pulled back on the lever. Right. No, you're right. You're right. But I also like no, you should be pulling that you should be pulling straight that I'm saying the jerk should be down. So I'm about all fours.

Fingering the ass. You like the penis being what is it about? No, I this is not something I would be into at all. I'm just saying in my mind what I'm picturing for the motion is a pull down jerk finger the asshole right in front of you and I'm telling you the second you start doing this your jerk becomes a yeah yeah just a fucking cock knocker whatever there was one yeah yeah it's fucking full four brides what are you guys doing they're trying to stud you pulling you down and poking your butt

look at for old male and some dudes ass. Got it. Let's actually end this video. I'm a murder the pussy. Why are we using violent language to describe an intimate act? Because you're annoying. I don't know how I am to murder the pussy. I like her. I like you.

Tollaria, starting to see that coming. We're friends. You're fine. You see what you do at the end of the shoot goes, oh, Christ. I'm not going to get anywhere Christ but why can't you want both everyone except she was just like she took her hand puppet off you know how much crocheting I did. So y'all saying I shouldn't go on AGT with this motherfucker. I want to be very very clear. The language by which we talk about sex and black communities is disturbing. We talk about often to beat it up. I'm going to shoot up the cliff. I'm a murder

the pussy. Why are we using violent language to describe an intimate act? I don't know. I want to murder the person. That is the funniest reveal at the end where she does just all right. Also guys, sad news I saw on the screen. Someone else got their pussy murdered Ronnie Spector. Someone put murder or pussy and she's dead at 78. No, you just like a Ronnie said no murder my Yeah, she just died yeah

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