The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Plus-Sized (feat. Justin Silver)

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Justin Silver shows Bobby what it's like to make out with him on ecstasy. The woman who won the Miss Alabama pageant is plus-sized and Jay does a PowerPoint presentation on her weight problem. Jacob longs for the time when supermodels looked like little boys. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Yeah Tuesday bonfire Yeah club bonfire Sucker cocks Singing for my name Sucker cocks Yeah La la dee la dee la

La la dee la dee la La la dee la dee la Christine bring up the video of me twerking La la dee la dee la La la dee la dee la La la dee la dee la I said as soon as that organ hit in the beginning started over, Lou

When that song hits the beat it just shot me I don't know why I smoked the right amount of weed but it just shot me back to a better time damn I didn't realize how good life was when this song came out what's the song come out by the way there's no homeless bum chick out there doing her hair in the morning. She's homeless and does her makeup. That's not what I see.

I see a woman shaving her hair while half crying laughing in the street and shoving her foot in a guy's mouth. Taking a shit in a stoop. 1991. She's never sits there singing for money. Oh. Dude. What time?

What year was it 91? Oh? There's not a good time for me freshman in high school I had five jobs hide my buddies We go after Someone's house and hang out those limits retarded people retarded people. How old was I, 91? I was probably babysitting. I'm probably coming from school and babysitting, but like, when it was my free time, just go, dude.

But she's homeless, she's homeless. I was delivering flowers on Sunday. And she's dancing. Oh my God, 91, I was again, how old are we saying here? Didn't get laid yet, but the prospect was always so exciting that it was gonna happen one day still I think I was going to community college for fine art. I thought I was gonna be an art teacher I wasn't driven by pussy so much because I didn't think I was gonna get it, but it was like horny boy

you know American Pie time and It was good though. Look at me go American Pie time and it was good though look at me go Bust it down Jay. Oh you put this out to the world Christine does everybody have it see me busting it open That's oh, so you're not dancing. No, I could do all of this. If you had that body, you'd be dancing like that right now. You can't do that. I do have that body. Pecker legs and a fat meatball.

You can't do that right now. What's the part? That, right there. That, right there. You can't do that right now. You can't do that. You can't do that. Do that leg move, please. Oh, he's taking it in right now. You can't do it. You can't do that. You can't do that. Do that leg move Please. He's taking it in right now. He's taking it in. Here we go Watch the leg move with the thing

Watch wait not here twist Here comes a great leg move right there right there right there I mean jeez. Oh shit. that's like me at a Tool concert. We were just talking about that. Yeah, they were just talking about... I was talking about what a disappointment Josh was at concerts, and they said Justin is the... But you didn't say it. You literally said when we talked about Rolling Stones, you said Josh is a great person to have at a concert. He's a great person to have, but he was disappointing. I thought he would be rocking out more.

I'm your buddy. I thought he would be... he was flossing his... We didn't explain this the other day. You said he was flossing his teeth and stuff. He was also, I will say, where he sat was burdened by non-stop shit happening to his left. Plus he was having a fucking food eating contest. That's always in a concert. I mean that's just nuts. That's always in a concert. I thought he would be rocking and singing and you know, kinda dancing and like the guy remember the guy at the Stones concert, you know what it wasn't his best showing Josh was not the parking lot hang fantastic great once we got in he Did go a little new his shell sunglasses on and he just kind of was yeah eating popcorn

Yeah, popcorns a weird thing at a concert to spit it all over me. Yeah spit it yeah, well we were kind of deciding because there's a weird thing at a concert. Just spit it all over me. Yeah. Spit it. Yeah, well we were kind of deciding because there's a, next week it appeared, Jacob are you going to this? If you, if we get tickets I'll go. Are you excited to go? How about you, Lou? Don't sound that enthusiastic.

I kind of want to go now. It's a Wednesday night. Lou? I'm in. I would love to go but it's a Pearl Jam year. Hey guys, what are we doing? What does that have to do with anything? What the fuck does that mean? I was waiting to ask you off the air if you but it's a Pearl Jam year. Hey guys, what are we doing? What does that have to do with anything? What the fuck does that mean?

I was waiting to ask you off the air if you could help me get Pearl Jam tickets to Madison Square Garden. Through the way you're gonna get them to JT. What band is that? So you want him to use his cloud card for that? I don't think we can give them to somebody else. I think they have to be.

Be in my name, yeah. So why don't you go with them? Why don't you both go? Oh, oh, oh, get them for you, and why don't you go with them? Why don't you both go? Oh, oh, oh get them for you And yeah, I could write Transfer them could you know couldn't you hey we have the same agent right give them two people when we do I don't want to open up the window to that being a thing I constantly have to do But I would try my best we have the same agent. Yeah, I've never used my thing

Oh, yes, maybe you use that for the maybe I use that for Pearl Jam. Yeah, maybe you use that for the Pearl Jam. Maybe I use that for Pearl Jam. There you go. Maybe I use my. Same difference, it's just gonna be a website. What is it called, clout card? Throw your clout card. Throw my clout card on the table. You wanna go with me, Bob?

I'll go to Pearl Jam with you. Yeah, as long as you don't fuckin' ignore me. Why would I ignore you? I don't know, once you see that. Oh, that's the least of what's gonna happen. Once you see that sexy beast come up. It's gonna get weird, everybody. Starts yellin' at me.

Dude, you don't fuckin' raise your hands at this song. This song, you keep your head down. The Thursday the Thursday morning call you're going to get from Bobby, dude, dude, you're never going to believe fucking Lou. So wait, does that what did that do with Justin Timberlake? They're they're they're not really they're not related. He wanted you to get tickets for that thing.

Don't use them on that. He wanted you to get tickets for that thing. Don't use them on that. He wanted you to use that on his program. Well, this is more of a, do we need to see Justin Timberlake as a crew? Because I think we might. I will, I'd love to. Yeah, I can do the dance to Sexy Back. Can you though?

Yes, I'm gonna do it. I hurt my back doing that stupid dance. The Sexy Back dance? No, the fuckin' troll song. Oh, you heard it. When I was doing all those spins and shit, I hurt my back this morning. You threw your back out.

In your chair? And then I hurt my back out again, yeah. Justin, what is, Justin Silver's here with us, by the way, the Beast Master himself. Hi. What's up, Jay? I wanna tell you my story, my gay story about the, that homeless song when I was in Fire Island for a weekend.

I partied with a bunch of gay guys and the song was playing nonstop. Justin, listen to me. I ended up topless in the pool. I need you to just say it. This is topless. You know guys don't say topless. Yeah, guys don't hang out with gay guys

and topless on Fire Island. Here's what you don't understand. Well, Lou did. Lou spent some time in Fire Island. Who spent some time in Fire Island? I was just, when were you there? I was just there three weeks ago. Why do you keep going back?

I went to the straight beach this time. Now you did. I was gonna say, it wasn't as much fun. Where'd you go, though? I don't know, what's the non-gay section? I don't know. There isn't one, it's Fire Island. No, there's, which starts with an F.

Fire Island. No, no, no, no, no. Sunnig Beach. Fanuc. No, the. Fanuc. The Pines is the gay one. Fagalong, Fae. I forgot the other two. Faggie. Fanoch. No, the Pines is the gay one. Fagal, Faye. I forgot the other two.

Faggie. Fagio. Dude, listen, dude. Yeah. Dude. What's up? Just say it. Say what?

Just tell us one lovemaking story you had with a dude. Listen, I told this a million times. You did? The only gay thing I've ever done. Oh wait. Was when I was on Ecstasy when I was 19 I made out with my friend mark. Oh, but I don't did I was like Swear to God Bobby the identical thought was about to fall out of my mouth

Three seconds behind you point three seconds behind you that is somehow gay or than sucking each other's dick So you told me you sucked a guy's dick, I'd be like, that's cool. I never did that, I'm not into it. But you made out with him, which is worse. Yeah, but I was on three hits of ecstasy, I would have fucking made out with like, can I say something, if I caught Dawn

sucking a dude's dick, I wouldn't be as mad if I came home and she was passionately making out with a guy on a trampoline. If she was on three hits of ma ecstasy in a wave I get it you went right down to suck in some cock you have to get some sexuality out dude deep kissing another guy's Bearded face he did listen. We were too young to have beards. Oh god He was gay or it was what one is lust the other one's passion. Yeah, you're right passion lust I'm doing something dirty right now versus the old like, I wanna swap spit and fucking stare eyes with you.

Damn. Yeah dude, how did you kiss him? Show me how you kissed him. Like dude on you? Yeah, no. Yeah. Fuck it, let's get down. Show me on me.

Show me on Jacob what you did. Like a, like a married kiss. Show me. Oh! Like just, like married night? Here, I'll do it on my hand. Get close to the phone. Ready? Like this.

Do it on my cheek. Do it on my cheek. Wait. Do it on my cheek. Do it on my cheek. You're gonna get soaking wet right now. I hope so. What if I get as hard as a rock?

You're soaking wet like a pussy. Ready? Ready? Oh, Bobby. Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. Bobby, you're gonna hate this. Hang on one second.

Hang on one second. You didn't think this out, Bobby. Hang on one second. Hang on one second. Hang on one second. He's going in open. All right, wait. All right. Treat me like Mark. Did you say anything before? Wait, wait, you're so rough. He's very rough.

Ah! Ah! Ah! All right! I give up! I give up! I give up! Pineapple! You just happened! Pineapple, that's my safe word! Safe word is pineapple!

Oh, God! Wait, and then it went like this, then it went like, ah. Oh, God. Mark. What the? Oh, then it went like, oh god. Mark. What the? Oh, Mark. You're my ace sponsor.

This is not cool. Listen, you guys talk all that shit you want, and Jake, if you could do all the oh my goshes, look at that head of hair. Look at that head of hair over there. Look at that head of hair. Wow. I don't come from not having a passion to kiss with a man.

What if my hair just grew back right now? Right there. You just got a big patch right here? Justin licked the rest of my head. I'm not gay. Listen, I wish I was. It's an easier life, especially in my neighborhood. Wow.

I mean, I'm telling you, it's an easier life. But here's the thing, dude. If you were gay, my ass should be fucking wrecked Justin Gaiters, that's not what I was Justin gay test do you think miss Alabama? Should have her crown kept Take a look at miss Alabama, please. Let me say what she do though. What'd she say about the gays? Just take a look at her. She's anything about the gays. Do you think looking at her? I have to see her

Do you think she's beautiful? No. And should be, do you see the inner beauty in her? No, I see a fatty. Do you see a girl you'd like to go shopping with perhaps, and maybe tell all of your secrets to? This is a girl I would be best friends with and probably start a podcast with. Gay.

That's what I'm saying, yes. Gay, gay. All right, that's not a good gay test, Justin. Gay. That's question one. Okay, that's a big one. Why is her crown being disputed?. Why is it? Yeah, it is a big one Why is her crown being disputed now? Is it the obvious reason? Why don't you like fluffy?

Is because I can't see the mists on her sash because her neck fat is covering it I thought she was just Alabama She's the size of Alabama. I Hate that they do this by the way, You hate that they what, have fat chicks in Alabama? It's a sort of like, you know. Fat chicks wearing beauty stuff? No, you can, listen, they have like the mutt competition for the dogs, right? They have the Westminster, which is the purebreds,

and they have the mutts. My dog's a beautiful dog, but you'll be in the mutt. She should be in a mutt contest. Yeah, I'm saying like, we should have, they should. She should be going competing against dogs in ballgown. Her bouquet of flowers should be fries. There should be going competing against dogs she should Should be fries there should be divisions. This is the lightweight division here. I'm not saying anything wrong with heavy set women I like I like a chubby. I love it. They should have weight classes. Yeah, is this second place? I want to get the opinion on this girl. She's an English trans for sure. She's an am I right trans

Yeah, so that a mile away. She's trans? Yeah, look at that. Take off that hair, take off that makeup, and she is kicking you out of a fucking bodega. Yeah, there's a weird, uncircumcised Filipino. You buy something, you get out. I have to show you guys something, the trans. That's what I answer the question, she goes,

Miss Maryland, should somebody have to buy something if they're gonna stay in a store? And she goes, oh, yes, you buy something, you get out of my stall there's no library you know exposed I match her the trans person on a Raya and it was impossible to tell this kid but can I say something though this does represent that state it does more than anything it represents Alabama it's just look at last year's, oh my god. Wow. Dude, look at last year's, looks like AI compared to this fucking.

She's hot. Damn dude, this girl's doing the fucking, she's the lighting double for This Is Us. It feels like a mean joke. It does feel like a mean joke. Maya, let's just let it chubby in. I mean. Nobody's really feeling she's the winner.

Can I just say something Jay? They threw into a black girl a couple years ago just to get that out of the way Then they started going right back to their lily white Jay. Maybe she's undercover Maybe she's a cop Undercover to there's some crazy shit going on. You think there's a super muscular cop under there I know I think she's big mama housing the Alabama. No, she's she's like Sandra Bullock. She's under cover of a tent. She's an FBI agent She's getting and they said look, unfortunately, this is the only female FBI agent We have available to do this job right and she's like I'll go compete. Yeah, there you go. She goes swim. What's her name?

Sarah milking did you look? Sarah milken what? Cows. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I love when I tee up and you fucking hit it out the park, Bob. And everyone acts like this makes total sense to them? Is there a bikini contest?

No. She has a one piece contest. Come on, dude. It's a one piece. Please show it. Please show the bikini contest. There's no way she has a bikini. It's 100%.

And then, honest to God, you might as well be looking at a nude picture of her because everything on that body is going to swallow the fabric has a bikini. It's 100%. And then honest to God, you might as well be looking at a nude picture of her because everything on that body is going to swallow the fabric of a bikini. I guarantee she has a swimsuit from the 1800s on. Buddy, I am fat and I live, as a fat person should, in the shadows shamefully. The way you're supposed,

thanks Jacob for nodding your head to that. Thank you. I know you appreciate me for that. Because I was gonna say, there's a reason I'm not cast as Deadpool. Yes! I don't have any problem with it. Why? Because of your hair?

No, his hair is fantastic. Hair and everything else. No. You know, height, width. Deadpool doesn't have hair. Deadpool is burnt. Deadpool is burnt. He's burnt.

This is annoying. Why? Look at those little hands that don't fit her fat for let me say this There's there's very heavy set women that are ten times that are gorgeous not neither Not as heavy so yes there are now that you get this kind of weight. It's distorting you It's distorting. You don't even know how this girl looks. I'll tell you one right now that we both know go on actually I don't want to say her name because you don't want to get upset why? Yeah, you'll know exactly. Oh

Comedian should I say it I write it down sure sound it out make it sound like something it is I think I know you're talking about you know I'm talking about and when you do say it Or when you do write it down. I'm gonna tell you how crazy are this person is nowhere near this size Let me see it hold up let me see let me see You know I'm talking about absolutely. I didn't know it so you're thinking you were thinking and she's beautiful I'd be she's gorgeous nowhere near this woman's eyes. Can I be part of the show? Do you know who this is remember? You could absolutely say I was a guy By the way, cuz she's gorgeous stun

Laz was a guy a friend of ours used to work at Stanton New York, he was one of the door guys there. Took her to a concert once. And managers, he had a... Is he getting anything in your will? He was in a band now. Now he's not killed? But Laz was a great dude and he played in a band and stuff and he was, him and another guy who worked there were in the band together, it was a metal band and his girlfriend would come around and she was big girl man, real fucking stunning face man, so beautiful. And I'm telling you, half of this woman though, she was big girl man real fucking stunning stunning so beautiful but and I'm telling you half of this woman though She was big. Oh, she was tall and everything like that. She was gorgeous this girl is You have no idea what this chick looks like she look at her go show her body again

And also did you look up her nude that I vamp long enough there's her body She didn't win though right she won wait, she won. She won. Wait a minute. She won what? Miss Alabama. She's Miss Alabama 2024. She's in, doesn't that go into Miss America? Like it's all the states? Look, she has a size 123 ways.

No, that's her number, Jay. Oh. Can I ask a question? Is she from Vietnam? No. Nope. What nationality is she? Fat. Christine. Christine. No, no, what nationality is she?

How big is live Taylor that's when she was at her biggest Live Tyler said how big was not that big wait Christine go to this woman It's like the full body pictures of the one girl who just won this she's immense How tall is she I'm trying to She's immense. How tall is she? I'm trying to find swimsuit and can't. How tall is she? Like 4'2"? Probably 4'2". She's 4'4", with fat bottoms over her feet. Look at the other one. The other one's a big two.

There was two fats in there? There's another fat. Yeah, there's two fats in there. Three not fats and two fats, and one of the fats won. Guys, you did the right thing. You moved these fucking pork chops into the finals, and now can we get the real thing going? You don't have to say who came in second. Tell them that the fats won.

Tell the fats they won second. I mean, this looks like she's bigger. This is absurd. Oh, God. She looks bigger here. You know what? I take back what I said about our friend's wife. Oh, my God.

She's not even close. She is, like, the bottom half is blue not black Lou at your most just out of jail. You wouldn't fucking hang out with this chick. I wouldn't survive. Thank you Thank you. Thank you. You just redeemed all black people with one sentence She's got a little bum on the front two cheeks is it two cheeks in the front. Is it wild though that fat, morbidly obese, let's say, white girl, goes from, there's a weird change. Dude, whoa. She looks like a fat person walking backwards

when she walks forwards. Buddy, that's unhealthy. I know, take the TV off for a second. It's an interesting thing with morbidly obese white girls. There's a time where you can always make the joke like, and I've seen it a million times, within family, I've seen this. Morbidly obese girl gets in shape,

a good looking black guy, and then there's like a tipping point where you just get past handsome black dick, and then you somehow go right back to toothless, skinny, or fat white guy. You know what I mean? You just go back to like the dregs of white. But there's a sweet spot in there

where you can really land a nice looking black gentleman. But this is, I think she's, I would say she's actually with- A fat guy. No, just a white trash guy for sure. I think she's gotta be with another fat dude. No, just a white trash guy, for sure. I think she's got to be with another fat dude. Sure, but he's garbage, though. It's like it goes back.

It's not like she goes on from gorgeous thing to fat white lawyer. Right. You go on to like fat white or skinny white toothless trailer guy. What nationality is she? Christine said fat. No, but other than fat. She's from fatigue. What?

Is that off the coast? She's facin What's that off the coast of I mean she must be miserable. She hasn't even in three was not near turkey probably closer to beef Turkey, probably closer to beef. Ha ha ha ha ha. Tell you threw it out there, we took it. It's all right. But if you're that blonde. I would have said she ate the turkey.

You know what, the smell in between those two must be terrible. Which ones? Right where the skinny pink girl is standing. Listen, oh yeah. You're the blonde, you're thinking, why did I bother? Yeah, why did you starve yourself

and throw up lunch every day? Yeah, why don't we do Pilates when fucking, when the black fat chick has jowls on her arms. Why are you showing that? I do not enjoy fat confidence. It makes me so angry because I live in the opposite of it. You live in the fat shadows. Oh my God, dude, I wish I was a guy,

the personality just like, I'm gonna wear a half top today. Fuck it, it's funny. I just don't like the amount of cloth that they have to use to make her dress. Was there a fucking bikini contest, Christine? A swimwear? They can't be. They had to.

You think mercifully they took it out this year? They took it out. This year? There's no way she walked out in a. I think they made it. Everything's a thong when you're that size. I don't care if she's wearing fucking Capri pants. Isn't it considered demeaning now?

To what? What we're doing? It's a fucking beauty pageant. It is demeaning what we're doing, Jacob. It's a comedy show, though. I'm looking at the screen. It's not a beauty pageant. It's literally a presentation for rich guys

to take their pick at Trophy Wife. Yeah. That's what it is. Well, no, they're gonna solve world hunger, Kristine. Don't you know that? Well, she's gonna create is. Well. No they're gonna solve world hunger Christine. Well. She's gonna. She's got gonna create it. She's only Bitch is gonna really Nothing on the craft service day, I'm gonna visit Thailand no no no no no calm How great is it to be her though just to eat all day? She's eating during the contest backstage

By the way, they know they know what they're doing with this thing. Sarah Millican, 23 years old by the way, which is terrifyingly dangerous how big she is, was overjoyed when she scooped. Everything's got to be in scoops. She scooped the top prize. Sad to find out it wasn't edible. She's dangerously unhealthy fat. 23 years old, that is insanely dangerously unhealthy fat 23 years old that is

Insanely dangerously fat she has mobility issues for sure yeah She can't put her shoes on and why would they celebrate that dude? It's fucking weird. This is like I said It's like when they let a retarded kid beat up a boxer for his make-a-wish or whatever It's like why you just let him meet him and not fill him with false and not now have a retarded kid on the streets Believing he could possibly beat up Diego Sanchez. Because Diego Sanchez took a fall, he's like, watch out motherfuckers, I'm gonna go talk to those big black guys

in my neighborhood. Imagine a guy bragging, he's like, no way to meet her, she was Miss Alabama. Oh my Christ. Where do they hold the contest, underwater? Getting so excited for your blind date, and then you wish you were blind? She was Miss Alabama, hot dog America. But was this the only fat, was this the only state that had fat people in it?

That can't be the case. Christine look up fat beauty pageant contestants. The black one lost weight and now her arms look like, it does like a droopy fucking jowls. Yeah, she has Patrice arms. Oh man. And then also, They look like an inflated bike tire. But again, the idea, at least this one,

is trying to hide the stuff. Why would you wear the armless, like wear a dress with no arms if that's, your arms. Your arms look like thighs? Stop. You're not perfect just the way you are! This was the last, I just found this was the... Tammy Pescatelli!

No, it was Miss Universe! Tammy Pescatelli, you piece of shit! This was Miss Nepal who was plus sized. Yeah, but they're big! And it was a huge thing that she made Miss Universe. She's like a size 12. Listen, Miss Nepal could get it. Yeah, she can get it. And she's living in a fucking, one of those huts.

Yeah. Drinking cow milk. Oh, for a hut bitch, she's built. Bread. She's not gonna fucking put herself in a wheelchair by the time she's 25. She's not Miss Universe. No.

No. Is that the top one? She's going to the supermarket in Nepal. Maybe not. Did she win Miss Universe? Yeah. Maybe, then she'd have all the fat chicks in supermarket in the pole? Maybe she wouldn't miss universe Yeah, maybe they should have all the fat chicks in this contestant contestant Shouldn't be there She should respond the body shaming her body her response to the body shaming should be have you seen miss, Alabama? Then why don't you lay off of me?

Shame her yeah, hey guys you're wasting your time Alabama's got a fucking pig-thus, fucking roast going on on stage up there. They're throwing crowns at these fucking hoggers. She walked out with a- Sui! She walked out with flowers and a turkey leg. The three hot chicks in that final five

should have killed themselves that night. I hope they vomited their food until they died. Finding service grade and overweight, an overweight bloke just won a Miss America beauty pageant. Oh, come on. That's fucking terrible. Is that written by a woman?

No, that's different. This is a different person. This is different. This is a trans guy. And she's not that pretty. Wait a minute, what is this one? This is a big fat man dressed like a lady. But they're all trans?

No. Just the one that won. It could be. Because she has to be brave. How many of those girls do you think their fathers pulled them out of school the next day? Oh my god. To look at the photos, one could

be forgiven for thinking it was a social media hoax. A 19-year-old bloke called Brian. Said a woman of his, let's say bulk. Miss Greater Deary, isn't that where Pennywise lives? Oh, it's very possible. Yeah, it's Deary. Well, I'm sure there's more than one Deary. As I'm trying to find stuff about Miss Alabama,

I just keep finding. More fat people. Menus. More fats. When did this go awry? Because when it used to be the hottest chicks in the world, when did this happen? When did it go awry? Well, Lewis used to be the hottest chicks in the world, when did this happen? When did it go awry?

Well, Lewis had the joke about, and he's right, Victoria's Secret had to start putting people on the, and I get, that's marketing. So I understand them throwing a couple of fucking chubbers in there to be like, no, you don't have to not shop here because you're, but you're still in like the hot black guys will fuck you pocket. Get in here. Yeah, you're still pulling your G string

up over your belly button. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. Oh, that is, man, you just took me back to a place in time and just again, where I was swinging forward, my fences and stuff, just how many times I've seen a big girl, felt bad for them, wearing the thong where you see the belly fold.

Over it. It's like the thong where you see the belly fold. Over it. It's like the thongs involved. Oh. It says it. What a sad thing. This is where I think it all started was Dove. Dove. Dove Davidoff?

No, Dove like. Dove Davidoff started like. Yeah, you gotta have a fat chick. Big people too, you know. It keeps you warm in the water. Socrates once said, the bigger the girl, the bigger the brain. I bet this was like, Me Too started, right?

No, no, 2004 Dove. It was the Campaign for Real Beauty. And it was the first time that you had non-models, like modeling in underwear on posters. Yeah, all over the- And it was crazy. Everybody was like, this is disgusting. But no, but here's the thing.

Right, but then- I didn't think this was disgusting. I like this because this was, I'm like, oh, I could possibly fuck a model. Because these are what they're, this is not what it's going to, it's gone overboard. At one point they were saying this is like the true image of the beauty, real women.

But these are all, these are all attractive chicks. Cute chicks. The biggest one on the right, look at the biggest one on the right. She's still got a great body. Yeah, the blonde. The blonde, you would absolutely fucking hit in two seconds. The old lady, just because she's old you wouldn't, but even her body's not bad for an old lady.

This is not what's happening. They took that and they were like, not what happened to things like this came out, and then people got pissed because they go, oh you're trying to show real bodies, but this is still just good bodied chicks, why don't you show a real woman? And then they have to have auditions for people to come pretend they're not embarrassed to their big fat bodies and go take pictures. Steam pulled up something that said, Miss Alabama hits back at trolls that claim she's unhealthy.

Please, oh I love when they tell you they're healthy. There's nothing better than a fat person telling you that everything's great. I don't know better than a fat person telling you everything's great. I don't know what you're talking about dude, everything's great. If you fall down and you can't get back up, you're fucked. If you have to, if you're like a,

If you fall down, none of your appendages touch the floor, you're fucked. It's like a turtle on its back. Yeah, how does she get up dude? You have to like swing over to your hand and foot. Look it, I'm a recently fat dude. I was a fat fuck. You're still fat.

Hey, wait, who said that? That guy who's always in the audience. He said it happened a few weeks ago. No, I know, you told the story, that's why I did it. So he does hurt. You're still fat. I know, Jay. Yeah, but this is, you're not healthy.

You can't lie to yourself and say you're healthy. No, and you are leaps and bounds healthier than you were at your heaviest. I also, I also. I'm still fat, is that what you're saying? To not sound like a total. No, that wasn't me. That was, hang on, is he still here?

You're still fat! What's going on? Where is this fucking guy? To not sound like a total fucking asshole, I enjoy the fact that like models are different sizes now because now I feel like when I shop and you know, whatever if you go on like Skims or Good American, these brands they have like three different models.

So you can go like, oh how do these clothes look on somebody with my body? I do appreciate that, I think it's great. This is crazy. Yeah, I love true classics because they're tight up top and the t-shirts are loose at the bottom. They cover the probes. They cover the little love threats.

No! It's the Bonfire everybody and you're listening to the podcast version which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts? Right? It's like being half jacked off.

Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire to subscribe for the full show plus you get all the music channels, you get Howard Stern, you get all the other comedy channels, sports. And to get our full show, sign up for a SiriusXM subscription at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire. Support our show. Subscribe. I'm not mad at fat people or fat women. You're mad. I'm mad that we're pretending that it's like, again, it's the, you know, I'm never going

to dunk a basketball. Do you know what I mean? Like it's the acceptance of like what it's going to be you're going to be. You can't, you can work towards being a beauty queen if you have a very pretty face. If you have a very pretty face naturally and you're fat, you can work toward being a beauty queen. I don't think you just give it to someone because they're fat and had the balls to get into this contest.

Yeah, but that's where we are right now. That's what it is with doing, like, having the guy or the trans girl, whatever, dressed, winning a beauty pageant, like, Miss Teen, whatever. It's like a big, it's like a big hulky dude in a dress with makeup on. It's like, why do we have to, that's a weird thing.

It's like everyone's like pretending, it's bizarre. Yeah. It's bizarre. If you say something, you're a piece of shit. But no, because listen. We're not pieces of shit. Listen, I say have a trans- No, if those parents say anything.

Oh, they say something, they just wait, they say something in their own house. Yeah, they have to- But if they made it, if they normalize- You if they normalize something there if they normalize the right thing you have a trans pageant instead of having a trans woman who is Substantially uglier than everybody else in the contest one. I think let trans people enter the regular contest and lose immediately. Like, it's gonna happen if you're a big hulking guy in a dress.

But if you're a hot Filipino woman, you can win. No, that hot Filipino woman should win. Listen, hot Filipino woman, it makes more sense that they would enter that. You know what I mean? And have a better. Right, a hot Filipino trans has a better shot at realistically winning a beauty contest.

Yes. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. So I don't, when this, when this big, Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I've, I've, She get my vote.

Ah, yeah. When this big fat guy wins, the other one in Alabama, not the girl even, the big fat guy, it's like, you've, he's taking this win going like, you've done this, clearly because I was brave enough to in high school go like, I'm a girl. And then you're like, oh, well you won the beauty pageant.

It's nonsense. It's a participation trophy. You're giving something that someone's actually doing the work for. I don't give a fuck who wins beauty pageants. But let's say they worry about their diet constantly and stay this and all these dumb things to prepare for it. And the other person's just like,

crushing a bucket of chicken the night before the pageant going like it don't matter they can always let my dress out she just she has a straw in a bowl of fuck you know be great is if it starts doing well but the thing is if they took the beauty out of it just take that out of it and just call it a woman pageant chick pageant I mean first of all I could give a shit either about any of these things. I've never, ever watched one. I don't give a fuck.

I hope dudes win every one of them. I don't give a shit. They were big, and now nobody thinks about them because this. It's like Sports Illustrated, Swimsuit, the whole thing magazine folded because they put a bunch of fatties on. Nobody wanted to buy the magazine anymore.

Because what they're for, it's like Marvel makes a... Marvel movies were for guys, nerdy fucking dudes, to watch guys that they could be like, I'm that, I'm Captain America, I'm Iron Man. And then they made it all about girls. They did the same thing with Star Wars. And those guys who it was for, like this, was for dudes to watch it,

and they made it about something else, and they just said, all right, I'm out. I'm not watching anymore. And then they blame the guys for being pieces of shit. It's like, they're not into Star Wars anymore. I can go see fat people outside. Yes, I can go to fat people. Like, here, can you hold this toilet paper roll

and swing it around fatso? I can bite my wife's chubby elbows if I want to at my house. That's what I'm saying, it's not what it's about. I like a chubby girl. I like a chubby girl. It has nothing to do with that. What he was talking about, again,

this is when they start the transition of it going, no pun intended, to where we're at now, was the girl, who was the first sports illustrator? Jesus Christ, it looks like four different human beings. But this is the jump, this is like the overcorrection leap because the first, what's the one girl, she's beautiful. I know her body almost keeps getting worse I think at times because she keeps having kids. Can you say Traeger?

No, no, what's the um. Sorry, I didn't know who you were talking about. Christine, you know who I'm talking about. She was like the big girl model at Sports Illustrated. She's beautiful. Sorry, I'm way off, Jay. Ashley. Ashley Graham. Ashley Graham. Ashley Graham. Love Ashley Graham. Illustrated. She's beautiful. Sorry, I'm way off, Jay. Ashley. Ashley Graham.

Ashley Graham. Ashley Graham. Love Ashley Graham. That's like Laz's wife. Was like Ashley Graham. Let me see her, let me see her. Because she is bigger than you even think, but she's so fucking beautiful.

You know what she is? She's proportionate. Wait, let me see. That's her pregnant though. Yeah, she's proportionately big. I mean, she's not even. No, you gotta go. She's had times where she's been big, not pregnant.

She has, but when you see her, you're like, that's something too, with the times changing, where you're like, oh, had times where she's been big, not pregnant, for sure. She has, but when you see her, you're like, that's something too with the times changing, where you're like, oh, she used to seem kinda huge, and now she just kinda seems a little average. No, but she was, I'm saying, no, there's, she's a twink. Compared to that two-ton Tessie you had up on the screen

a second ago. No, but I've seen, we've seen her in person, but she's a big girl. Like, she's, we've seen her bigger than what she is in these pictures. Keep going down. I'm looking for a... She was Sports Illustrated, this one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's hot though. But she's fucking hot. Go to the Sports Illustrated. Oh my God, dude. I love that. That's a nice big girl. That's hot.

She's got big tits, big ass. Yeah, she had a flat stomach, she had an hourglass figure, big tits. But she's put on weight and you'd still be like, I would deal with that. If you saw her in a strip club, you'd be like, you wouldn't take your eyes off her. This isn't like an ideal with.

That's like, oh, look at this hot chick I get to. Come on. This is great. She's not that porn star body. She's more of a chick you could meet somewhere and date. You or me? Well, what year is this? Not you.

Me. Sports Illustrated, in the 80s, she would have been euthanized. No, it was 2016. No, it was 2016. What you're talking about. Oh, shit. It was 2016, which in 2016, this was even like, you're like, wow, she was big. No, but again, these are like the most perfect pictures they can get of her.

Go look at candid pictures of her when she was like at her biggest and stuff. And you can see, these are like the most perfect pictures I can get of her. Go look at candid pictures of her when she was like at her biggest and stuff. And you can see, she's just fucking still a beautiful girl. Yeah, you know what I mean? She's just beautiful. Yeah, there you go. That's a big girl.

And that's like Laz's wife, like I was saying. But she's fucking, she's so hot. Everything, but the thing with her is everything is proportionate. Huge tits, huge ass. Top body, the bottom of her. Everything is proportionate to what her fatness. The other girl-

Right, and if you hit her enough and make her scared enough, she can get back down to that Sports Illustrated weight. That's the nice thing I know. Yeah. She's hot. She's hot. I'm gonna say she goes back and forth. She's a-

Nice. You don't think she's hot? No. No, but Jacob's fucking, I mean she could bench press him. So I get it, like that's a girl that's like- No, I mean I just just I mean I'm talking Classic sports illustrated like yeah, of course Paulina, Poroskova No, you do you talk you're doing you're going like thin thin model yes

You you like really skinny one you want a girl I personally think that that's not like my athletic It's not my taste, but do you like a do you like a would you like a? I'm saying would you like a, would you like a, a voluptuous? Elmick Fierson in your prime? But I'm saying would you like a Kim Carl, like a voluptuous? No, he does not like Kim Kardashian at all. Okay, so that's a type thing. I don't get it. No, he likes a girl that when he's next to her,

he looks like a man. Yeah, like she looks like a littler boy. Yeah. Jay. He doesn't want to be next to her. Any of the mega swimsuit models of the days, the famous ones, and you're telling any one of them? No, but I'm telling you, there's also bodies in that,

like you said, where they thought they were skinny, like bone-skinny, nevermind, I think a bunch of them. I think Ella McPherson was hot as shit in her time. She wasn't skinny, she was, okay. She was more, I'm saying, I liked her, I went more like that, I don't know, Paulina was never really my type. I can't imagine one of them that was considered skinny.

You wouldn't sleep with this girl if she wanted to hook up with you. Sure. Okay, great. Kate Moss, I thought Kate what was considered skinny. You're all like with this girl. She wanted to hook up with you. Okay, great Who is the book? I thought Kate Moss was kind of gross Who is the one English? Toothpick model. Yeah, who is the one with the huge tits? She was like, uh, she was like a little bit bigger, but she was very beloved She was blonde like beautiful Claudia Schiffer. No the more recently

Kate does that turn you on a little? Yes. No, he don't like her. Yeah, but she put on, she put on a few. Put on weight, yeah. How much? She's only 30 years old. I mean, I still am with her. Jacob, you're so, you should.

Jacob has a twin bed, all right? I'm saying, I have a queen size bed. That, it's high. You wouldn't hook up with this, Jeff. Yes, I would. Yeah, you would. I think she's beautiful. Yeah, she's beautiful.

Kate Upton's still beautiful. She's beautiful. But. But. But that's stereoty still beautiful. She's beautiful. But. But. But that's stereotypical beautiful of what they had and now they're trying to make it like every woman is beautiful in her certain way. Yeah, but you can't put,

the promotion that that should win a beauty, we're all, everyone's pretending. It's the accepting the saying the N-word apology when they go, I can't believe it came out of my mouth. I've never said it in my life. And everyone just goes, okay. You know what I mean? Like the world wants to go, I accept your apology

and I can't believe we caught you that one time you said it happened to be on camera or recorded. So it's, you know what I mean? Like people wanna live in the stupid lie. I wanna see it. What if they change the contest to like recipes? Okay. Like that.

How many stairs can you not climb? Absolutely. Stuff like that. Absolutely, can you keep a secret? Yeah, can you eat a whole pumpkin? Yeah. Fastest healing bruises. Yeah, right.

What if they just change, what if the competition is not the same as it used to be? Why did these women win like where I'm trying to find we're we're telling you yeah You like can't find it Because they're fatties and we feel bad for you can't write that because I don't think they feel bad for yeah, maybe they have a hot dog eating contest Maybe she's the chestnut of the beauty pageant. You don't think they feel bad for them. Yeah, maybe they have a hot dog eating contest. Maybe she's the chestnut of the beauty pageant. You don't think they feel bad for them?

She ate 78,000 hot dogs in eight minutes without water. She didn't even dip it in water. Yeah, Paulina was pretty hot, huh? They're all, everyone in the 80s is, Cathy Ireland, they're a fucking star. Yeah, Jacob, you don't have to yell at me, I'm with you. Do you think this will ever get into men's bodybuilding? Where they're like, they have a bodybuilder guy, I was just like, an average dude who's like, I'm with you. Do you think this will ever get into men's bodybuilding? Where they're like, they have a bodybuilder guy,

I was just like, an average dude who's like, I'm into this. I knew you'd take it to men. But that's it. I knew you'd wrap it over to guys somehow. But almost to finish what I was saying though about the shit, I'm gonna lose it, because I'm a party head. They don't feel bad for them.

They don't feel bad for them at all. It's not feeling bad for them that's putting them through. It's they're making themselves, it's them. They're doing it like, look how great we are look how great we see past that's not about that realizing it's like it's the hackiest decision actually can I say something who's the president who runs the beauty passing now is it women the guy from subway because it used to be fucking used to be Trump used to be the yeah yeah but he doesn't run that anymore no no I said

used to be Trump so it was piece of shit misogynistic dudes who ran the shit. And now it's probably, you know, women who want to let all women in. I'm certain there's women, much more women involved in the behind the scenes of this now. And nobody's paying attention until you put this heifer on and everyone's commenting. But I will tell you, women have zero problem exploiting other women talk about I mean that's that was okay. It's all women and a gay guy. Yeah. Yeah. There you go And the gay guys like yeah, yeah, it's gone that way completely that makes total sense. That's all wow look at that meet the team

Yep, there you go. That's why I mean it's just girls like let's let's let all the fucking girls in Christine you don't like that Christine take a letter down to all these dumb bitches about their fat fucking beauty queen. I just don't call it a beauty pageant. Call it something else. Yeah, call it a fat contest. It's a women's meeting. Oh, shit, dude.

I still have the Alabama's happening on the Fully Loaded Tour. I hope she doesn't show up to fight. Oh, I hope she does. I hope she drags you off stage. Oh, my God. I really hope her husband is a fucking toothless white scrawny guy. What if he's like, you're wrong motherfucker, she's still in black weight. Oh no!

I hope you're on stage and you just hear somebody eating something behind you. Yeah. You can literally eat. Hey, you guys out there you guys aren't catching that sounds like chewing all right well anyway so my daughter's I swear to God I'm hearing it are you guys not hearing a chewing sound oh you guys aren't hearing that belching at all All right, maybe I'm going crazy man, I do smoke a lot of pot hey guys you smoke pot I snow there's definitely something I hear the sounds of a fat lady and I kind of oh That's the swelling of a milkshake for sure all right guys

I'm sorry I cut this short you guys gonna enjoy for Christ your eyes big Jay. I'm gonna add here I thank you guys so much I got a thing to say to you you felt would be wrong before I'm gonna swallow the hot dog I'm a fucking kick your ass It's gonna be her surrounded by these fucking four chicks and gay guy everything on here says that she's just been Tormented from this of course you are being so horrible to her Because you're like, why don't you put her through this? You're setting her up to fail

It's like fucking Northwest singing horrible in the Lion King It's like you set her up for something shitty to her We're going to make fun of we're a comedy show and we punch exclusively down So we are gonna make fun of this fat lady Jacob no, you're one of the top proponents. You're standing on top of her, punching right into her fat soul. But here's the thing. You're standing on top of her,

but you can't balance, because she's so fat. But we are a comedy show. Don't parade this fucking elephant through the streets for us. It's your fault. Paula Miles, Ryan Miles, oh, husband and wife team,

Anna Boyce, and the two Ridge Ridgeways who I think are a lesbian couple Hold on sisters at the same time Fine, they're setting her up But you have to have some self-awareness if people magazine called me and say we want you to be one of the sexiest men alive You say yes, I wouldn't humiliate myself. I know better. I've been waiting for that. No my whole life No contest no no comedy show could do this to me. Because I know. Accurate self appraisal.

They did the same thing to that poor Bud Light trans girl. They gave her that thing and they put her out there. She was just trying to put something out. I actually have no clue why they cared about that. She was trying to put that out. They gave her a can, they gave her money. She's putting it out to her fans, and then they knew that that was gonna That I wouldn't have known that was gonna I never fucking understood that at all anyone giving a shit about who's on the

That's a tranny on your can you're drinking like what? Put her on the can they put her on a six pack that they sent directly to her that was just a her spokesperson her fans here's a little money you got a you got a nice she wasn't on the can it wasn't even for her fans that was literally one six pack they made for her I'm pretty sure they did with a couple people how did kid rock get them he broke into her house no oh maybe he just shot Bud lights everybody He just shot Bud Lights. Everybody was all, and Matt Walsh,

all the Daily Mail, I gotta change my joke. Her daily wire. I say he shot the tranny cam. They gave her that can and a little money for her fan base, only to be seen. So give this chick a pack of Oreos with a crown on it. Come on.

Can we see the comments on the Instagram of her winning? I wanna see on her Instagram. The comments. Oh, pure positivity. Let me see. Well, there's only 62. So, you know a lot were taken down. I bet she's I bet she's the sweetest I swear to God, I thought I said the word grazing so proud of you girl camera I swear to you I thought I said the word grazing anyone deserve to win is it's absolutely you except for the what the one who actually Oh, here goes someone you could be whoever you want to be but we shouldn't be celebrating on healthiness

That is a real answer. What was that thing that she? Christine you had the article where she? Responded to people who's claimed she's unhealthy She said the true answer was Now I'll tell you what to call her plus-size really should make some plus-size people pretty upset ago plus-size money That's not plus-size. That is that's a one-bedroom apartment. That's borderline not able to move around wait Traditionally plus-size models are a size eight. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is crazy. Just call my wife fat Yeah, she's an eight.

I don't know. I fucking bought her anything. But that that dress. What size is that? That's a custom. Everything she's wearing is a custom. It's a custom curtain for a local playhouse. They got that off the Oscars. I'm so sorry, you big lady.

I'm Miss Alabama. But it's a comedy comedy show They shouldn't have put you in that sash and I'm wrong that you're what was that? What if they put that sash on one of the other they knew they were doing that fucking big girl Yes, call it a parachute But that's sash if they put it on one of the other girls it would have been dragging on the ground They knew she was gonna win it they drop that down from up top like the Phantom of the Opera chandelier they had to put they had to make that sash custom the night before let me say the crown came down like the Phantom of the Opera chandelier am I wrong she's kind of an asshole she kept eating the flowers

We got to get the picture miss sorry I'm grazing Is she kind of an asshole for doing this no no why would she be an asshole because like listen me We're being asshole. I understand that we're being assholes But in a way it's the same thing as like the the trans guy who goes into like what he's an asshole for kind of doing That doing what the trans do to? Yeah, no, who goes into the woman's? Beauty pageant. No, this is not for you. That guy's an asshole. Yeah, but he does not an asshole in his brain This is his dream. This is his dream to be a to be a pageant winning woman. Yes

That's his dream my dream is that be like your dream to be Mark Wahlberg. I don't show up on set. And it's reality's job to crush those dreams. That's what I'm saying. That's the problem. I will say this, I used to have bits about this when I was younger. I wonder if they would like get shit now. That like the things, I would say how I talk to Isabella,

I go, it's dad's jobs. Like I figured the dad's job really is to ground a child in a thing, I go, because like her mom... The singing, the singing song. Yeah, because it the child and thing like that, because her mom. The singing, the singing song. Yeah, because her mom was like, you could be whatever you want to be. You could be an astronaut if you want to be.

And I'm like, I don't know, like a small business owner, maybe. Like what? An astronaut? You've met this kid and if the dude's that she's going astronaut, saying like, stop it, it's insane. She might do great.

She's an esthetician now. She might be a small business owner one day. That'd be pretty great. Big dub an esthetician now. She might be a small business owner one day. That'd be pretty great Big dub so it's this lady's parents like someday. He'll be a planet so it's real No, so it's real things so when she's 19 and goes I want to start doing pageants. They're gonna go honey I can't afford the material fat. We don't have enough money for the dresses your mother's hands will break from the sewing. Um. We can't afford a minivan to get you to your gigs. But Jay, David Jr. said, great to finally not see some 100 pound blonde hair blue eye who wants world peace win.

Congrats. What is this chick want war? No, I'm not bored with that Wendy's Spelt it no she just fell asleep before she finished writing it. It was Wendy's not war I can see how you thought that was war, but she nodded off because of your sugar crash and something wacky Look now she's determined not to let the harsh crit... I mean they're setting up, these are jokes almost. She's now determined not to let the harsh criticism

hold her back as she prepares for her national final. As she enters the bull ring. Which will be held in Florida over Thanksgiving. She's going there for the food, dude. There happens to be a pageant. Could you imagine the dump this girl takes before the pageant when she goes a day after Thanksgiving? Oh my God, look at that.

She fills the bowl homeboy. I mean, dude, but here's the- I'll tell you this, and I mean this, I mean this very, very much, and now these are problems solved I guess by bidets you'd say. This woman definitely can't wipe her own ass. No, she cannot. Unless she wipes the one on the front. This beauty-

I mean, what the fuck? She sends it back? You think she has the thing she has to get between her legs and like runs it up like that? She has to get a towel like the Three Stooges? Hey! Yeah. This woman literally can't... This beauty queen cannot wipe her own ass.

I would have to guarantee that. Bubba the Love Sponge said at his heaviest he couldn't wipe his own ass. This woman's as big as that. I tell you what, I hurt my shoulder at my fattest. I hurt my shoulder wiping my own ass. Yeah. I had to like literally.

You had to separate it, but every time he took a shit like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Look at this, look at that. Aw, no, I gotta wipe my ass, dude. Gah! Gah! Okay, that was my bit. Really?

That was my bit, my special. Aw, shit. I'm stressed, why I heard it and said it then Look at my, I literally I steal everything from things that are done My left arm is bigger than my right arm Holy shit, longer yeah You want me to lick the other side of your face to fix that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, do that You want a little equilibrium? Dude, the way you kiss me passionately Yeah, goddamn right he did God damn God damn right You're gay This woman's, by the way, I bet she has to put her

butthole out of the toilet. Stop licking your lips. So she could pee. I bet she can't pee with butthole and vagina over toilet. There's no way. Where is, here the thing is too, if you're with her, you have to hold up that front part to get to it. Hun, they're doing the ceremony now.

I'm taking a crap, can they vamp? Get my crap towel. You know what she could do? I'm getting ready to squat and scrub across the floor on it. She has to tie baby wipes together like she's making an escape from a jail. Oh my God, dude, yes.

Just to scrape them on her. Are you killing yourself? No. You think she just swallows a bunch of toilet paper and tries to shit out toilet paper with it? So it's a complete efficient system? No, it already comes out on the paper. I'll be out in a, oh my god dude.

But she's actually, it's weird because her body is thin in the middle. So she must be wearing some type of spanks, right? Turn up Christine's Michael I'm gonna show you guys a little PowerPoint thing. I need to get a I need to get a laser pointer Okay now There's meat

Her shorts Up to this area right here. Yeah, I see that okay. Yep, but vagina doesn't start Till and if you had that you'd have to see through this in here Vaginas, but John no no no I'm saying you have to say go through like inches is saying you have to cut through the fact I have to get through

this much meat to get in. Before you're touching. Vagina. Vagina. Outside. And I don't know what the scale on that is, but that's a big fucking dick, man. I have a question.

Just a question going up the board. From the surface of where, put your finger back on where the vagina is. Right. Now from the outside, going in, how many inches in until the vagina, no, no, no, going this way, depth. We can't see depth on a two dimensional screen. This way. Going this way from the, yes, correct.

How many? Oh my god, so much. So much. You're gonna have to knock a little bit of that out of the way. You're gonna have to pull it back like several hoods. Christine, can you scroll it up just to the pink? Is that the top?

That's the top. Just scroll to the top, scroll up, scroll, no, no, the photo, push it up to the top. No, you can't do that. Because if you look just from the waist. Where's the point, Bobby? If you just see the waist, see the waist right there? No, no, go back to the pink one.

Go back to the pink one. See that waist? Which waist? Right, the pink, where the pink meets the white. Now if you hold your hand on the white, hold your hand, cover all the white, but from the way the pink meets the white now if you hold your hand up on the white hold your Hand cover all the white but from the side cover all the way that doesn't look like someone's bum 100% it looks like the back of a piggy bank It literally looks like the back of a piggy bank

If you it does look like a piggyback where's her belly button you think I think it's like here no no yeah her belly button down if the belly buns over the vagina that's a problem the asshole it's the asshole of the piggy bank do you should draw a little piggy tail on that I mean if you just put a little squiggly tail right here, it's a pig's ass. And if you saved money in that piggy bank, you'd have five million dollars.

And I'm gonna say this right now. What's her name? Sarah Millican, I apologize from my heart that people who are terrible put you in the position where this fell across my lap, because we're gonna have to say something about it when it happens. People who are terrible put you in the position where this fell across my lap because we're gonna have to say something about it when it happens. But I mean, I do feel, she's right there.

I hope to God, all I can say is I pray that she's a cunt. She's not. She's gonna be really nice. She is the nicest person I've ever met. Everything is like, watch me serve my community. I wanna get back. Oh, shit. She's gonna serve her community half the food like, watch me serve my community. I want to get back. Oh, shit. She's going to serve her community half the food.

Serve? Half the food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's the other half of my grilled cheese? Hey, hey. Sorry. I thought you guys were giving donuts today. Ah, sorry.

Not enough donuts. I thought there was free pizza at this open house showing. There was. Burp. Burp. Burp. There was. Can we Google her?

And it was, Stephen, get a hold of this. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was.

There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was.

There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was. There was.

There was. There was. There was. There yeah dude, she can get you. You better hope she doesn't get you cornered. Okay, here, that type of little outfit is all right. She looks cute. No, listen, it's the best she can do. I'm not arguing this that you say the girl's ugly or anything like that. We don't know what she looks like. Is there any audio? She looks cute.

The cute she looks is childlike. Yeah, she's adorable. Is there any audio of her saying something? I bet she's just the sweetest person in the world. There's gotta be audio for winning. Oh, here we go. She goes. Thank you guys so much for I Appreciate the title. Sorry. I like you all taught. Um Thank you to all the other girls who were here Trying to find her talking yeah, is this just her? I'm trying to find her talking. Yeah, you gotta get her talking.

I wanna hear her voice. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo machine after she won. Dude, Miss Fat Colorado looks like a string bean next to this chick. Yeah, it's over. It's not a beauty pageant, it's a woman pageant. They put her sash right around her waist like a fucking fanny pack on Miss Colorado. It's not a beauty pageant anymore, it's celebrating women of all sizes. It's fat women pulling off feats of movement. But fat people have feelings too, Jacob. But at the bottom, at the very bottom of this, it's financial. It's fat feet.

You're not making money doing this. You're going out of business. Fat people have feelings too. They're just tucked under with their belly button and vagina. Yeah, they're underneath it. They're all going out of, they must be going out of business. Yeah, but you understand more people in America are fat. Yes. It's a very small amount of people that are in shape.

Arby's is going to sponsor this. Yeah. Yes, they got the meats. Yeah, Olive Garden is sponsoring her right now. So heavy people dream of heavy people. Oh, here she goes. Is that what you're telling me? Hang on, let's listen to this.

This was 15. She was 15 here. Is she 15? Jesus Christ. I got here when I was 15. Oh, maybe. I'm 15. Look at you. I competed once. By the way, go back to her being 15. Fuck her parents,

dude. Why are you letting it keep going? Man, she was big then too. No, I know, but I'm saying like you let it keep, it's like- Stop it. Help her. Stop throwing her in pageants and telling her it's great. Well her parents are probably fat too and don't know how to help her. It's true. We don't know that. Whatever, parents are fitness buffs. That would be great. Well her parents are probably fat too and don't know how to help her. It's true. It's all, it's all. We don't know that. Whatever parents are fitness buffs. That would be great. We keep her around so we don't get cravings.

Yeah, every time I see her I go, ugh, that's why I wake up at 3 a.m. to do my first workout, dog. Or you wake up and you go, I don't wanna workout, and then you hear your daughter down the hall going, gr what dude crack them eggs we're hanging out with Justin so everybody he's gonna be headlining the Vulcan comedy well Vulcan gas company yes in Austin Texas that is this Saturday yeah Tommy Pope on the show hell yes in the house and then he's gonna be in Morris

Plains New Jersey at where the Joe the comedy dough I thought it's dojo of comedy. No joke on dojo of comedy dojo of comedy Christine fix that dojo of comedy on Saturday, June 29th I have heard nothing but great things about that club unbelievable club for tickets and all tour dates Justin's out there man He's doing some headline make sure if you're in Austin or anywhere near Austin go check him out Not in Austin very much Justin's not all go check him out. Not in Austin very much, Justin. Not at all, go check him out. Get your tickets now, bring a friend,

fill that fucking place up for Justin. It's a great room, the Vulcan. I did it one time when I was out there. It's really nice. I did it with Rogan. Cool rock bar. Yeah, great rock bar, great place to see comedy. Iamjustinsilver.com, Iamjustinsilver.com,

and follow him on social media at I am Justin silver. Thank you and Robert Kelly he's gonna be a bagoos this weekend Friday and Saturday And then of course the Gramercy theater with the live regs podcast with Joe list day and soda Lewis Jay Gomez That's on July 10th. It's a heavy hitters. It's a murderers row after that He's gonna be Portsmouth, New Hampshire San Diego And you can see Bobby every Tuesday night 7 p.m. At the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge the Comedy Seller for tickets and all tour dates again punchup.live Robert Kelly and Big Jay is going to be on the fully loaded festival touring all over the country next two weekends

Can I say also I do want to tell people this It's there's tickets for some of these shows. They two weekends, can I say also, I do want to tell people this, there's tickets for some of these shows, they're packed, but there's tickets. There's still tickets available. For some of these shows, and I'm telling you, these shows have been, this has been the best year so far. It's just like, everyone's having so much fun. We've had years before where some people come and they're not really into it, or it's a

weird thing, or everyone doesn't know each other that well. It's a great laugh. And they've all been fun, but this been like the line up first week was fucking killer The line of music now lineups insane jelly roll was on three of the four or five shows You want to go to a comedy show and see the best comics out there? Go check out the first like a little bit less man bigger better every year the fun He's at the funny bone in Richmond, Virginia July 12th and 13th and then the big big show at the Borgata Atlantic City, Big Jay by himself, July 27th

for tickets and all other tour dates. BigJayComedy.com and check out our podcast and the YouTube page and all our clips. Like, subscribe, lick, suck, all that stuff. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Thanks for watching. See you next time. Bye.