The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Porn Buddies with Pauly Shore

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

Comedy legend Pauly Shore is back and has questions about the state of the Bonfire and the business model of podcasting. He used to date porn stars and made a home sex tape with his then fiancé Savannah. The conversation turns dark when he mentions great comedians who took their own lives. Jay and Bobby follow the wackiest people on Instagram. Bob loves to watch an old lady name Evelyn complain about the government trying to killer her in very specific ways. Big Jay enjoys a little person who is constantly pranked by his friends until he throws a screaming fit. Pauly Shore will be performing his hour at The Stand in New York City tonight! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly I'm trying to follow the weirdest people I can follow on on Instagram. I got a goody Dude, I got a goody for you. I mean the fact we haven't brought up Evelyn at all yet is crazy We need to do this on the show. We need to bring in once a week the weirdest person of the week for us Mm-hmm. I have a guy who ties ties. I think you owe us Evelyn. Who? Is that her name? What's the lady? Well, the...

We haven't brought her up at all yet. We haven't brought her up. I mean, she's my favorite. She's fantastic. I look for her once a day just to make me smile. We should bring her up. What's her name again? I just sent our girl Evelyn. I found her. I can't wait to see that up on the screen here, but I found somebody a week ago And I'm I'm not good at that like I see something funny

I'm like oh, I gotta remember to bring it up on the show But I don't know how to save things anything, but I saved a reel today Just so I could have Christine bring up his name. It's these two. I think it's Indian think they're Indians But it's a midget who wears a bandana Like a you know like a landscaper Style yeah, like everything and he's a little weird midget, and it's just just call them Mexican people landscapers. Yes This one is I don't know if they're Mexican. Okay. I think they might be I think it's Indian you said landscaper style Other wearing the bandana man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get the style. Oh, they're wearing the bandana, man, let's get the style. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is Mexican. Yes. Okay, okay. Well, now, if Mexicans don't say something as they tight roll them with it's round, he's got a flat front bandana. Are they fucking rollerblading? Why would they do that?

Sometimes they roll it. They roll it. It's a little midget and they just do funny, weird things to them just to watch them just freak out. So as they put them in an inner tube on a water watch him just freak out so as they put him like in a In an inner tube on a water slide just Sam does it He looks five and fifty. It's the funniest thing in the world. I know you talk about I think I've seen that maybe Assume we have similar algorithms. We do

Go to Bobby's girl first she is first or the girl that Bobby... No, you go to Bobby's girl first. She is world class. Oh, please explain. Please explain. I don't even have anything to explain. This is a woman, Bobby told me this is a woman who thinks her neighbors are trying to poison her and every day she comes in and her voice and nose, first of all she has my father's

nose which I do not like. Her name is Evelyn, what is it? Evelyn? Evelyn... What's her name? Piazay? Pia-se? Pia-se. Pideas is the...

Pideas? Yeah. Evelyn Pideas. It's Pideas Evelyn on Instagram. Yeah, she is definitely a weathered little bulldog face. If this is a character she's killing it, she's really leaned in. She's like, look, I'm fat, disgusting, and ugly with a full mustache. I think she opens her chest. I might as well be hilarious.

Yeah, dude, she... listen to me, dude. Here's the thing. World class. Here's the thing with her. It's not one time. It's every single video is her saying. Crying hysterically about her neighbors trying to attack her. Yeah, because when you see these people on Instagram or whatever and then you go and

there's one video, she's having lunch with a friend ruins it every I'm like I'm out this woman every video Somebody's trying to kill her if it's fake. She's Daniel Day-Lewis's mom because she's living it for sure Listen to this woman Things that they do to my body look My private is hanging down! Look at all my hair! My forehead, and then my scalp, my back, my legs, everything! And then the chemicals can barely breathe, and then my throat is killing me!

They won't leave me alone. Nobody. Now just go to the next video. Go to the next one, doesn't matter. It's all gonna be this. Go to the next video. It's all. By the way, I like her initial picture is her smiling.

Yeah, scroll down, Christine, scroll down, scroll down. Scroll down, scroll down. What's this, wait, what's this sexy picture? She's not. No, no, no, she's dying. Remember this beauty? Yeah, scroll down Christine scroll down scroll down scroll down scroll down She's dying remember this beauty go to that one to the left the first one right over there that go that one there you go You know what they're doing just now? There's joking me with chemicals, but they're and they're in top of my private again. Isn't that disgusting? Yeah. Oh!

And disgraceful the things that they're allowed to fucking do. Because of a criminal government of talent and target program. I'm lying there and they're fucking targeting my private area. Can you imagine that? And joking about fucking dropping chemicals. Bad cops, bad agents, bad government of Canada. Oh, she's Canadian. It's exactly what it is. Government of Canada, criminal, illegal, target program of experimentation and torture on

one citizen. Christine, sure, this is what happened at 1 26 a.m. Today Why don't we just go throw a dart at another time? Yeah, just Christine just go there you go right here. What happened? Oh, that's not a video I'm sure at some point she had a good day what they do what as soon as I lay down They zap my private area They stop it it's like an electrical current with pins in that you're the bad man and so I can't even barely sit they do it all the way from

the crack of my back of my crack of my ass to the top and they're big they're bad they don't leave me alone. They don't leave me. You know what they do. Christine, Christine real quick, because that might have just been a coincidence. Why don't you scroll way down, just keep scrolling. This is gonna have a good day. Scroll, yeah, maybe, maybe right there, right there.

Click on that one, we'll see what happens. Might not look like much, but I'm trying to lay down and they're burning me with chemicals. And it's hard to breathe. Do you know what it's like when someone criminally tries to take your breath from you or block you from breathing with an illegal criminal activity of using chemicals on you from a senior citizen unit above you? It's so said this is a lot of Canada So I don't know why I would believe completely if you told me that this is a family member the DJ Lewis take care of

And you've been slipping he goes shit. I should go visit her. I thought those chemicals would take her out This bitch is holding on How many times can I zap her private, she won't shut the fuck up? And then loose up my private. He doesn't drink anymore. He's been taking the chemicals he used to take. Ooh. He's like.

Ooh. She is a star. Buddy, she is my favorite. I wake up, I wake up in the morning, I say my prayers, cause I'm a good boy, and I go right to my Instagram. Hopefully If she's faking this for an account, bravo. Yeah, don't even, you could write in,

if you have some kind of evidence that this is all bullshit, sure, maybe it is. If it is, this woman is murdering it with hilarious. She should be well known. She should be famous. She should be very famous. Yeah, she should do Misery 2. Go to the other one I sent. Now this is young let me see his name again Yahia. He's with Khabib. Listen he's known this young man is known for sure.

It says he's an actor but go down just go down to some of the videos I mean you gotta see when he just they just do things to make him scream Yeah, right there perfect. No, no, but he's a kid right? No, he's a kid. I don't think it's a kid I think it's a kid dude. He doesn't have he doesn't adult midget face watch you. Yes. he does Curious gays They're making him hold hot coffees over his face Oh no no no no Oh! I mean he's a monster He's not a monster go down go down to where they walk him in with a bunch of lambs look at this face

This is crazy. He's not a monster. They turn him into one. Yeah, he becomes one I'd say two inches taller than you. I think. I'm just eyeing him up though. Watch like. He takes his. Oh no. Look. They just torture a midget this whole Instagram Are you sure he's not like a little like 13?

Listen, he might be 13. He's built like a six-month old What did you say? Yeah, here, let's do that with someone on a zip line. That's great. They just throw him out. They just send the midget off. He'll be fine. Is that his kid? I don't know what it is. Oh, he slapped the guy in the face.

If you told me it was just like grown from something, I'd believe you. Go down. There's one where they act like they pretend that he gets bird shit on him. And his wig, that's what made me get to know it was that video. They make him think that a bird shit on his chest And he just gets up and starts having a full midge wig out keep going down He fights back like a man. You saw this one. No, I'm just judging that he's not he's not a boy. Oh Yeah, I think he's a man. Yeah, they're just him trying to fight right there. Click that one with a white shirt on Yeah, see what he does here

They're messing up his cake He's biting him Is that Dubai that's Dubai other Dubai people yeah, maybe that makes sense. Awesome senses of humor there. Oh, I know how great you can get. You can't just torture a fucking midget in America anymore. No. Place to be. You can still throw midgets around. What do they do? They just squirt lotion on them and let them think you got shit on by a bird.

lotion on him, let him think he got shit on by a bird. No. So he's in a raft in a pool and they just squirted sunblock in his face and told him it was a bird? They told him it was bird shit. Look at his cool guy head shots. It says he's about 20. I'm gonna say this though, great hair. I mean he's got insane hair.

Absolutely. For a- Movie star hair. He's got, I mean, crazy hair. Yeah. I Absolutely. For a- Movie star hair. He's got, I mean, crazy hair. Yeah. I think he's a little boy though. It's like Midget Bieber. It says he's at least 20.

He can't be 20. That's so weird you can't tell with little people how old they are. Go back to that thing again. The- Yeah, no, go back to the, cause there's, they do that more than once, dude. Squirting, fucking, what he thinks is burgeoned on his head and he just flips out, that's it.

That's all they film. 4.6 million followers, just to watch you with Torture and Midget. 10 million, they lit the couch on fire. Torture and Midget, that's the whole thing. Tort know. You know. It's torture and midget. That's the whole, that's the whole thing. Torture and midget. And Mom Tom.

And Mom Tom. Fantastic. Man. Christine, real quick, can you just, just in case, cause I might've just, we might've just saw a couple, can you just go back, maybe. Oh yeah. Go back way, way down, just way down,

as far as you can go back, cause she might've just had a bad day or a bad week. Yeah, go to that one over on the left right there. Yeah, maybe, what is it? This is your gal. This is, this is, yeah. Yeah, we're going back to the pub. We'll just see, because later,

we went back now, months, months, maybe even a year at this point. Yeah, let's go back. Let's see, maybe she's okay. She's probably okay at this point. I click on that. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I'm brushing my head with them. Her tongue's too big for her mouth. And my private is so big. It's so big. They're hurting me so bad. Because I'm down the truth. You're a real cutie patootie. I'm getting down the tube.

You're a real cutie patootie. She is a cutie patootie. She keeps sticking her tongue out. And, uh, oh, there's one where she's in the hallway and she's telling you where the poison's coming from. Is that it? That might be it right there. Where is it? This one. No, no, yeah. No, yes.

Got that WC Fields news. Sheesh. Gosh. Wait, wait. Wait. no yes got that wc fields before i mean that fat tongue just baby I can't stop. Every morning I wake up and she's never healthy and they never stop poisoning her. I've been following her for so long. She should be dead.

She should be dead. She should be dead. The poison should have taken effect. It's the slowest acting agent I've ever seen in all of poison. Scroll down, scroll down. See if this one, it's like a door. You can see out in the hallway.

Is it the Canadian government that's torturing her? The Canadian government, but no, her neighbors. But apparently they're also. I'm leaking it down, but yeah, it's a scroll. Canada's not stopping it? No, they're involved it down. But yeah, it's a scroll. Canada's not stopping it? No, they're involved in it. Wait, wait, go to the outside. She's outside. Wait a minute, she's outside.

It's just a picture. Oh, it's just a picture? Okay, scroll down, scroll down. There's a... I didn't... Can I just say something? What's that? What's that? Oh, there you go. Right there. Click on that video. Yeah. There you go. Oh, it's a picture? I've never read all the stuff, too.

There's a lot the stuff going on They send a long cylinder hose up at night I can see it on my wall moving from the light outside and the truck and the vehicles take off when I start choking They laugh Scroll down scroll down scroll down. This is crazy that like truly psychotic people can just be on That's just don't I don't see that I don't see the real poison I'm talking to me Don't see the real poison She's putting these up because the people that are killing her There she wants them to see and maybe they'll stop doing it if they see these videos blue before I forget this weekend

but this weekend, I mean, have 20 different drops of this lady. Oh. I'd love to. You know what I'm saying? Just have whatever, just a sentence at a time. So I'm just like, like, Boooo! Scroll down, scroll down.

There's one where you see the door. She posts every five seconds, by the way. We're only a week behind right now. This is nuts. It's so fucking... It's the best Instagram. It's all just her tongue. It makes me happy.

She's being poison Christine. Yeah. But what is her tongue gonna show us? Have some... Have some... Have some empathy. The poison affects first, your tongue. Wait, yeah, look.

Look. Her tongue is... Oh, I'd like to get a swipe of my flex first your tongue. Wait, yeah, look, look. Ugh! Her tongue is... Oh, I'd like to get a swipe of my butt from that tongue. What do you think the bathroom smells like after she shits? Ugh! Like poutine and Canadian bacon and syrup.

No, just like a, yeah, like a sweet beef. Yeah. Like a maple beef. Scroll down, scroll down, see if you can see. It should be covered, but she does post a lot. It's crazy. Oh, now spoon on the tongue. What's the tongue thing?

What's that? It's a picture. She's showing you her tonsils. She's showing you her tonsils are there. Oh, they burn the roof of her mouth. By the way, someone just wrote, ma'am. There's only one comment and somebody going, ma'am, please. There's people writing in Arabic.

You can translate it. No. This woman must have lost her son or something no one has ever left it in oh it's the best maybe she's alright Just leave me alone. Go away, leave my family alone. Leave me alone, you monsters. Mike, I can't do this. Mike, I've got to take a break. We have Polly Shore in the motherfucking house. She cries like a child. You know when a kid cries? That's-

Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough,

cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough We'll be right back everybody with Pauly Shore. Pauly, did you ever come across Prince in any of your travels? I did. I'd be funny if he was like, yeah, he's gay. We kissed. No, I did my MTV show from, what's it, Paisley Park really really? Yeah, no shit was he there He wasn't there. He wasn't he wasn't there

Yeah, but it was cool. No, it was cool cuz we just we had um, I guess when we had a What's it called carte blanche or whatever MTV called and says like hey, can we film there? So I got to like, you know lie in his bed or in his studio. It's like going into the Playboy Mansion, pretty much. You know what I mean? I don't know what that's like either, though. Yeah, we don't know what that is. Smell my finger.

Oh, there you go. No, so yeah, it was pretty cool. It was like mothballs and pretzels. Probably more things than that. It probably sells a lot of things. Yeah, my fingers. Yeah, the fingers have been, you know what I mean? They've been someplace.

I know. Some wonderful, wonderful places. They've been to some places. All of them, too. Yeah. All of them, yeah. But yeah, we went there, and it was pretty wild. And it was just like probably in the 90s.

Yeah. That's when there was no racism. Yes. There was no racism. That's true. And it was cool. Yeah. I would when there was no racism. Yes. Yeah. There was no racism. It's true. And it was it was cool. Yeah. I would love to check out the Playboy Mansion and it's heyday which to me would be probably the early 90s, late 80s. 70s. 70s? No, I'm sure that's true but in my time of looking back like I would love to be walking around with like the, let's say from like the Dorothy Stratton's to the Anna Nicole Smith's.

I think women changed through the 70s. They were more like hippie women. And then the 80s, they had that ginger-lin that they started getting fake titties, started looking good. I think it's weird that the shape of a woman actually, you could tell from a naked picture, forget the hue of it, the way the titties banana up that it's a 70s,

it's like 70s tits. Well the boob jobs got just more bizarre. I mean there was, well at first there was like lines, kinda like hair transplants. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? There were like big lines and shit

and now it's like hidden and back with the boobs it was like, there would be like a big line under the nipple. And then it got good, and then there was just a line under their armpit. Right, and now they just take the nipple off, and it's the crease of the nipple. I don't know what it is anymore.

I got pictures of my wife's nipples. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro. I'm sorry, okay, sorry. I'm just happy that other guy isn't here anymore. Finally, right? Fuck. Yeah, the dead weight. Jesus, that guy. He's sad, Jacob's sad, whoa, whoa, bro. I'm sorry, okay, sorry. I'm just happy that other guy isn't here anymore. Finally, right? Fuck. Yeah, the dead weight. That guy.

He's sad, Jacob's sad. He stutters too. I was like, cause I listened to the show and I was listening back, I'm Dan Stutters. Like how do you have a fucking guy on radio that stutters? That's true. Dead weight Dan we called him. I think he didn't quit it.

He got fired, right Jacob? Yeah, he got fired. Internally? I think he just felt that I was ready to move on without him. I think he felt a family. Yeah, I think he just felt that I was ready to move on without it I Think he felt that coming down the line somewhere didn't Dan Dan still takes the The crew out not me and Bobby. He takes the crew out for lunch once a month

Just to rub it in once every two or three months. It's getting longer and longer He's actually getting over the He's probably gonna hijack your staff. Oh well. You know what I mean? Because they pay more, he probably pays more. I'll tell you what. At the end of the day, that's what it's about. I don't know what Sirius pays,

so he may pay more than them. No he doesn't. But I'll tell you this, they would, if Dan Soder said, guys please come work on my couch studio with me, they would all leave here in two seconds. They would smash through the windows to get out of here. Jacob would take all his blankets and leave.

Oh my God, then he'd leave his blankets because Dan would keep it warm enough for him. He would. So who's paying you to do this show? I mean, all seriousness without joking. Serious XM. I'm confused. SeriousXM. I'm confused. SeriousXM.

Because you have another show at The Stand. That's what I was telling you. It's Legion of Skanks. Yeah, I know, but you have so many. That's podcast. No, I know that, but I know, I just didn't know where, you know what I mean, you got a lot of different, break it down.

Lot of orange and a five. Yeah, you got Stand. The Stand is Legion of Skanks. Yeah, you got it. We're here three days a week, live for SeriousXM. And then you do one on the moon the moon right with Elon Musk. Yes And we have story wars also. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so so what do you think about that? I mean, that's a lot It's too much. It's a lot. It's too much. So is it financially working out for you?

Yes, because I do all of them. That's the move. Is it hard? I have to have seven jobs Jay just bought a brand new house out in Jersey with a pool and a jacuzzi and a fire pit and a gazebo. It would be Matt Rife's bathroom. A bonfire, a bonfire pit. Yeah. A bonfire pit. My house would be Matt Rife's bathroom. Your house is beautiful.

Nice. So is it true, my friend that works over at Howard, my friend, and you guys have a friend. Is your friend Howard? Yeah. Wr's a writer. Is it true that Conan O'Brien just got a whole bunch of money from Sirius? Sure, sure, yeah.

It's fucking crazy. Yeah, they give a lot of money out to people. Not here. Not to us. Not here. Have you ever heard of the show Call Her Daddy? Yes. So she signed not even a deal to be on Sirius XM as much as it was for them to sell

advertising for her pockets 125 million dollar deal. Okay, cuz cuz a lot of Lottie you guys don't know what's going on here She asked me that you asked me to be on this podcast, but it's not to promote my comp. I've been talking the higher up nice So they said the checks are not coming you guys you got more we have much more work to do yeah more work to do no but that that'd be sick it is crazy years from now you guys are like oh shit 50 million or da da da da da I'd say it's borderline impossible because it's really sunk it all into

call her daddy yeah it's all gone. $125 million. And, you know, you know what it is. You know what, though? They gave us a new headshot with a little background. But this is nice. This is why they keep us around. They haven't kicked you out yet.

They keep us around for one reason, and I believe one reason only is the most important reason. It is because the entire salary of this entire crew, me and Bobby included, isn't one 125th of what Call Her Daddy makes cumulative. Yeah, but here's the- They gave us a new logo, would you like to- maybe you could pitch which one we should use.

No, but here's what's gonna happen. You guys are gonna look back on this episode in a year, a couple, three, four years from now, and you guys are gonna cash in. It's possible. Because at the end of the day, it's about numbers, and you guys are getting the numbers, and they're gonna get bigger and bigger and bigger. At the end of the day, this is gonna be good,

so you're gonna let me sleep on your couch, bro. Yes. You could absolutely stay on my couch. Buddy, I'm gonna get you a room. A room at your place. You're not gonna get a couch. You're gonna get Polly downstairs. You're gonna go downstairs with my son, you and my son. Okay, that's weird. He'll be older by then.

Yeah. But this is a pretty- Teach him the ways. Way so, bro. But this is a crazy business. You could do worse than that, Paulie. Sure, fucking get your son ready for pussy in the world. You could do worse.

That'd be a great show on MTV now if it was still on, if he was teaching young 18 year olds how to get pussy. Oh man. But this is a crazy shift, huh? It's like, ever since Joe kind of like shifted the election in a way, I mean I don't know if he did or didn't. The site guy said he did, that he kind of shifted everyone. And even Gavin Newsom, I'm going to do a podcast.

Michelle Obama, I'm going to do a podcast. Everyone's hopping on the podcast world because mainstream media just seems like it's kind of tired. Well, it does take, I mean, I can't see the oomph of somebody starting comedy now and being like, I'm gonna have a CBS sitcom as like the goal. So, why would you even worry about the show notes? You probably can do this yourself on YouTube.

Well, yeah, it's real hard now. I mean, back when we came up, and you came up, you go out to LA, you do a set, you could have a sitcom the next week. Yeah, based off of your set, yeah. And then you're a millionaire. I mean, it happened so many times. I mean, those days are gone.

And then do you guys do the, was it Patreon? No. Do you know about Patreon? Sure, yeah. So do you know how that works? I do it, yeah. So you do it? I do it. Or did it, or you know how that works? I do, yeah. So you do it? Or did it, or you kind of do it?

I still have it. I have a podcast. I have three other podcasts I do, too. I have Bone to Pick with Paul Veruzzi. I have The Regs with the Dan, who used to work on this show. He quit that show and went over my show. And then another one. But I have the Patreon because it actually,

during the pandemic, people don't know this, they started taking podcast money. Because everybody, actors, went to podcasting, and they started taking SAG money through podcasting. So you could take your podcast money and use it for SAG and get your insurance like that way because you weren't working as an actor. So why don't you guys try a Patreon

with some of your stuff? I've never wanted to do it because I think it would only hurt my feelings if it's no money. Because you always know some people, all you know is the success stories where it's like, change your life. We got Patreon, we're making millions of dollars a year

and then what if you're the person who's like, I make about 15 grand a year on that. By 15, that'd be awesome. 15 grand. Yeah, dude. Is there other paid companies? Yeah, dude. I'm is there is there other paid Other paid companies. Oh, he fans punch up dot live. It's a brand new company that came out. It's called punch up What punch up dot live? It's a great company. They're no censored. They censored

I'm a financial officer I am not and they and they actually they you get all the you get all the data. This is it right here punch up dot Yeah, everybody's on it. Punchup.live, you get all the data, like all the emails and stuff, where they're from, who they are. So if you're going to Seattle, you can send an email out to all your people

that are on your punchup.live, and you can say, hey, I'm coming, here's a button. It goes right directly to them. And then you can put stuff up there and charge for it too. There you are, right there. That's right. So you're on Punchup and patreon. I'm on punch up I put a tune I put patreon is for the podcasting punch up is for the stand-up

So I put all my that's my special up there You can watch it for free. Well, all you have to do is give me your email so that I know where you're from Yeah, and then but where do you collect the cash? Well, you would collect cash. No, where do you collect the cash? I don't, on Patreon? Yeah. Oh, it just goes into your account, and my wife snatches it. I don't see it. But what about the punch-up?

The punch-up is more, you get the data. So you can charge money. Like if you had a special, you could put it up there. You got Cuomo up there, buddy. I didn't realize you signed Cuomo. Good for you, dude. So the old days, the old days, how we used to do it. Thank you. Who's Cuomo, good for you dude. So the old days, how we used to do it. Thank you.

Who's Cuomo? Chris Cuomo's on it? No, no, no. Natalie Cuomo. No, better. Okay, so Natalie Cuomo, say what's up to her. We like her, she's our friend. So what about.

I love him. I fucking love him. What about the old days, cause what I used to do back in the day is I would have my assistant Sit at the merch line with a piece of paper And then they would write the emails down on the people the fans would come there and write this So now now and all that so now what they have to do, but that was pretty cool

But don't brush over that that's a pretty that's insane. That was pretty dope. It's awesome I mean great that's how god fuck who fucking was it that would kill it that Billy Billy Burr? Billy Burr was Billy Burr Kevin Kevin Kevin used to do it to use Billy Kevin Hart Billy Burr used to sit at the end of every show. Yeah, he would do he toured with Charlie Murphy and Donnell Wow, Donnell Rollins, right? Yeah, and they did a tour because they were on Chappelle show and he would be the one at the end of show He put on every table a little thing for his email and he'd get everybody's email. Yeah and sell and all that I was never I was never a lot of work never a business guy. Yeah, this ever

It's been until I was able to have a level Like within the industry where I could get like help like managers and stuff that were really good Like I'm just I have no and you know, I watched friends doing it and when they were doing it I thought they were wasting their time. They're like, I'm gonna go out and collect all the emails like to do what you're gonna Remember they're all from this town and plug them all in and they would they go home and make like spreadsheets of things And I go what's st. Louis career when Louie got canceled He had he before he When Louis got canceled, before he got canceled, when he would do his shows,

he got really upset that they were charging such crazy prices, so he bought a ticketing company. And he charged $40 a seat, no matter what seat it was. So you could get the back row, the front row, it was all 40, but in that he got all these emails. So he had 250,000 emails. It's the Kid Rock model. Yeah, when he,000 emails. It's the Kid Rock model.

Yeah, when he got what? It's the Kid Rock model. What do you mean? Sell everything for one price across the board. Yeah, and when he got canceled, he just put a thing out to his fans on email and this tour sold out. Yeah, he's probably the number one person

that does this stuff properly, right? Because he sells the specials, we all know, he goes right to, right? Oh, you meant about the sales. He does it properly. He goes, you just whack off in front of him one good time and then move about your life. That guy does it right.

You're talking about his business, not his sex life. His business model. Not his whacking off in front of girls. No, his business. His business model, he fucking kills it. Can I say something? No, he did that properly, too. He asked.

Sure. And they said, you know what I mean It's not he was like you might if I were proper strange to me because these are women who he probably also could have fucked But he was like no no no This is the thing I want to whack off in front. I mean one of the best Things said in a special ever that last one when he goes you know It sucks when people know your thing your sexual thing and he, I mean it sucks if your friends know your thing. Obama knows my thing.

President Obama knows my thing. And what a funny point, everyone knows your goofy kink and you have to accept it. It's Jim Norton-esque, just lean into it man. So speaking of Jim, it's a great segue. So his babe, right? How is he with her?

Because I'm on the West Coast. I don't spend a lot of time in New York. Are you calling Jim the her? No, like what's up with that? That's pretty wild. He's in love, man. I know. I get it.

I get it. It's a straight face. He's in love. He's really with her. But's that like? Like do you guys ever say dude like? Give you good head cuz she used to be a dude or what you mean does he give her? Yes Jim's not the top in that relationship. I hope you know that no foot tall than him Viking fucks him. Yeah. Yeah, that's Thor. So what's his what's his take on her as far as people talking about it? He does well, I because I don't want to disrespect Yeah, that's Thor. So what's his take on her as far as people talking about it? He doesn't care? Well, I...

Because I don't want to disrespect him. I know, I think he leans in. If it's sensitive. Jim is such a, first of all, such a ruthless funny person. He's the best. That he would never, in a million years, if he even felt it, he would fight the thing to be like, hey, don't say stuff like that.

Because he just wouldn't, because... Okay, so let's say shit like that, then. Let's get into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because stuff like that. Because he just wouldn't because. OK, so let's say it like that, then. Let's get it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm curious. It's a blast. So did did did did was he married to her before she was a chick?

No, he met her. So he just met her and thought she was a chick? No, no, no, no, no. He met her. He met her online. OK. Knew that she. Who was trans.

I'm just kidding. Because they said she said it. She said it in the thing. I'm a trans no Much no he knew he knew he was that's what he likes. That's his he likes that. He's always like trans He's like both he's dated women. He's had a he had a girl for a long time But every woman he dated before now thinks that they must have looked like a man for him to be interested Fucking hilarious. Suck on that Chelsea for a day.

This isn't a fucking reality show. Well he tried to pitch it as a reality show and no one bought it. Society's not ready. It's fucking hilarious. But no, he met her online and then he went and visited her, blah, blah, blah. He tried to get her in the country,

had a hard time. Where's she from? Norway. And then Canada. Finally got her in the country. They got married and now they live together. I've been friends for 25 years, almost 30 years I've been friends. They were at my house for Thanksgiving last year. They come over all the time. But he's never been happier.

That's amazing. I've never seen him this happy in my life. He is so happy right now. Now he has to sit on a donut when he sits down, but he's never been happy. Besides that, he's never been happier. I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, he has to blow her so she only wears it when she goes to sleep.

It's so adorable. I did their podcast and it made me laugh. So that's why I love Jim. Why I love Jim is because he's so, like, just brash about that shit. I love it. And she said on the podcast, she goes, oh, no, I'm worrying that, that, she goes, when Jim's home,

like when he's home on the weekdays, now it's weird because I end up falling asleep on the couch. I fall asleep on the couch early. And I wonder, I hope I'm not getting bored. I hope we're not getting bored with each other. He goes, you're not getting bored, stupid. He goes, you just got your dick sucked on the couch. He's talking about himself. And I was like, Jesus, Jim. Polly bored, stupid. He goes, you just got your dick sucked on the couch. He's talking about himself.

And I was like, Jesus, Jim. Paulie, let me ask you, Paulie, what is it? You're from Hollywood. It doesn't matter. I've never had sex with a transgender woman. Do you have a want to? I mean, I don't know. You ever have a chance to?

Because, dude, you're from the time when it happened, it wouldn't even be gay. The 80s, 90s? Well, I think it would be gay. I think it wouldn't even be gay. The 80s, 90s? LA? I think it would be gay. I think it wouldn't be, I think in a world it wouldn't be like blown up to something necessarily. Yeah, it wouldn't, in LA it wouldn't know.

No, I mean the old school way is being in Thailand and having sex with a lady boy. That was kind of like, oh I went to Thailand and I fucked a chick, that was a dude and da da da. I never did that. No. Kept the state side. The No. Kept the stateside. The what?

Kept the stateside. God bless America, man. I would say I never had sex with a girl with a puss. Polly, you have, I mean, the who's who list of my favorite porn stars of my teen years, I mean, you at least hung out with. Oh, some great ones. Nikki Dial.

I can throw the names of these. She ended up dating David Falstino, which I remember always was kind of interesting to me. Nikki Dial, the Rock L. Dary, and the Savannahs, those girls. Savannah was the one she dated. Slash? Yeah.

Do you know these girls? I do. Wow, you got really sophisticated. Nikki Dial was so hot. How was it? I never was, let me see if closer, I was never with her. Negative. Oh, I was giving a who's who list of, I don't know who you fucked exactly, I know you were

in that world at that time. Yeah, those are the girls. No, I was with Savannah. Nice. Yeah, I was with Savannah nice. Yeah, I was with Savannah Why are you jerking off? What are you doing? Yeah, he's got the cash and he's jerking off at the same time. He has an OnlyFans. That's how we make money for show Yes, so she was she was hot. Yeah, she was I mean, what do you do with that dude a lot? I mean She was I mean, what do you do with that dude a lot? I mean

We did a we did a porno we actually did a porno together you made a porno with her yeah No, where's yes, we was your face in it of course. Oh just like home use Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I got no I didn't put it out, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like, I'm here to fix your pipes. And she's like, I can't let you in. My husband's not here and I'm not allowed any strangers. Ma'am, I'm just here to fix the pipes. I'm just coming through, I'm just here to fix the pipes. And then I would go in and then I would start working on the pipes and then she'd start rubbing my arms. You're so big and strong.

My husband's a wimp. Ma'am, please back off. I'm just here to fix the pipes. And then all of a sudden she started. There's a type of porn I like where they actually work it out. You know what I mean? I love that story.

We are acting it out. Yeah, I love that. I got to hang out briefly. I'll send you guys a copy if you guys want to put it on. Please? Yeah, please. How much money we can make over that? I'll put that on my Patreon, my first thing.

Put it on your punch out. It's uncensored that was the that was sad I got the hangout in I was just in Tulsa and the last time I was in Tulsa I hung out with Jesse Jane was very popular in the early 2000s that she passed away not long after I mean this girl Right here is nuts. Savannah was super. I mean that's just that that's the the the perfect 1980s 90s girl. The hair looks, I mean, she looks like she's made by dogs. The lore was that she blew Slash

under the table at the Rainbow. Probably. Yeah, more than likely. Now back in the- She did it a lot of rock stars. She did it Vince Neil, she did it Slash. I think she had sex with Axl. How much crazy shit did you at the store?

Like the seller I'm from the cellar I had company so there was always this little room down the bottom that nobody knew about with a key though in a chain And we you mean Jay's done it I've done a lot of we bring a girl in there and do some weird shit and we'll have stories What where's the place it was never you to get your dick sucked to fuck him? That weird, you know, maybe we're that you're going into a room sure under a fucking Yeah, well, there's a room full of people laughing and you're about to go on stage He's a little fucking weird by the way

You were actually I didn't know this until after I had my years of fucking in there Was that I didn't really I thought it was just that closet that wraps all the way around to the question Yeah to the kitchen bar. So you know Sometimes somebody could just walk by that way. That was crazy. No, I did not know that at all. I fucked in there free. Did you see my name? Will and Nilly.

Did you see my name I wrote in cum on the wall? No. You got to get a black light next to me. Get on the mic. What are you doing? That's your dude. That was before my time. Dean Christine fucked at the stand,

where Pauly's going to be this weekend. Oh, great. Oh my god. That's New York. Did you fuck at the stand? Not this's gonna be this weekend. Oh great. No, no, no. Did you fuck at the stand? Not this one, not this stand location. You fucked at the small stand? Yeah.

They didn't even have a green room there. I was actually blowing him in the office one time and Paul walks in there. The little office up in front? No, on the bottom. Downstairs. Under the stairs. Hilarious. I wasn't at that one. No. Oh, the the bottom. Downstairs. Under the stairs. It's hilarious. I wasn't at that one. No.

No. Oh, the comedy store. I mean, those days, I mean, how? Talk about time in comedy. I bet it was fun with the chicks and the porn stars. That's the Kinnison, the Dice floating around. I mean, damn. Doesn't fucking.

Where did I meet you? Was it MTV Days? No, no, no. We met in LA once. You remember Drake Sather? No. No. I do, I remember Drake.

Wow. Oh, he just made me feel bad. Who was that? Go on, he was fucking funny, dude. He killed himself. Did he wear a suit? He wore a suit always, Drake Sather? No, he was like in a Fonzie jacket.

This guy. Fucking genius, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was dating, I Fonzie jacket. This guy, fucking genius dude. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was dating, I think he was dating, he was dating his girlfriend that I think was a porn star or something like that and as he's on the phone with her, he kills himself as he's on the phone, I think. Or is he your wife?

What does it say? Says after a heated therapy session, she saw him leave early and he called his wife and shot himself right who was his wife Let's see what his wife was she was like a dancer slash porn girl Cuz didn't you start on MTV back then or I had our com I had a half hour Yeah, I had a half hour comedy comedy presents I did a I did a thing with Jim Brewer that was a right bombed on MTV We have that if you want to see it Presents I did a I did a thing with Jim Brewer. That was a I bombed on MTV

We have that if you want to see it I really took a hot one and then Jim ignored me when he did the interview after hilarious wanted nothing to do with me Type in Chris Crystal Ginger Hendrix porn star. What is it? Was it? Crystal Ginger, that's his wife that he called. I don't know if she was a porn star or a Dancer or something, but it was sad. I really liked him He was a really sweet guy and really fucking funny Didn't you did you push for because when you were on MTV is when they started doing like the half hour comedy hours Yeah, that was your push to do that I didn't have Mario Joyner hosted that because I didn't know you came out of the

Someone like me who was just a fan of MTV. I didn't know you came out of the, I mean, to someone like me who was just a fan of MTV, I didn't know you came out of the stand-up world until after. Yeah, no, I started doing stand-up before. Way before the movies, yeah, yeah, way before the movies. Yeah, but no, Mario Joyner had it, and then sometimes he'd bail, and then I would do the guest, I would guest, but it was, I fucking got tapes of,

I think Rogan, and God, who else was on it? I think, you know, remember Anthony? Who was the person I saw in Rosie O'Connell? Comedy, Rogan's comedy God, who else was on it? I think, you know, remember Anthony? Anthony Clark. Who's the person I saw Rosie O'Donnell? Comedy, Rogan's comedy half hour on MTV was my first time I saw a comic where I was like, that's, because he was talking about getting head on TV, he's talking about the amount of pressure

you could put on a girl's head to slowly get her down, to blow you, but on regular TV without saying, I was like, this is the comedy I wanna do. That was it right there. So Half Hour Comedy Hour was great. It was great. It was the first real edgy, cause you had Evening at the Improv,

which was pretty corny. And you had Stand Up Spotlight, you had all that stuff. And MTV Comedy Half Hour was the first one that actually got edgy and did some of those spots. We had to get MTV on it. And there was Comic Strip Live, that was a big one too. With John Mulrooney.

That was pretty good, yeah. I love, who else? Comic Strip Live was also hosted by Wayne Cotter for a long time. I always thought when I first even got to New York and started working the Comic Strip Live, I thought that's what the show was. It was an LA show completely. Oh yeah. That was a great completely. That's where you used to see all the oldest guys.

I was such a comedy kid growing up. I knew the names that were like Bruce Baum, these people who are even around anymore. Jeff Cesario and those names. They were such, I watched everybody. That's why it was neat to see, you see who sticks around through that. Jeff Ross was also in that mix. Young Jeff Ross with hair, but he stayed in.

You know who was the funniest, and I know you guys will agree, at the time, was Richard Jenney. Yeah, he was great. I saw him in Boston when we were coming to... I was coming over to Boston. He came in and fucking murdered. Murder.

Yeah. He was fucking... Because a lot of guys would go into Boston, and it would be like Sweeney and all those guys. They hated when comics famous guys would come in town Boston and it would be like Sweeney and all those guys. They hated when comics famous guys would come in town and they would always put themselves as the, these guys are murdering headliners in Boston, they would put themselves as host and middle,

I've seen Blow Colin Quinn, I love Colin, I mean just bombed after this guy, just bombed. And he went up and fuckin fucking just leveled the place. I mean the place was shaking. He killed himself too. Yeah, he killed himself. Killed that crowd that night. Oh man.

Richard Jennings. Yeah, Richard Jennings, yeah. He shot himself in the head in the shower but he didn't die right away. It's crazy. Jesus. That's the worst thing in the story. The fuck happened?

He died way later at the hospital. No. That's the shittiest part of the story always to me That's what always resonated that I remember and let look it up. I'm almost certain. It's completely true, but it was like Yeah, he went to the hospital like still like aware like of what it was so bad. Yeah, that's what you're doing I thought that's the clip This has been kind of a morbid Maybe we should switch to

I get it. It's like a gym. You switch to... It's my fault, I get it. Let's go back to Jim's day. You look at Polly's show, you think of death. I get it. Did we mention that Savannah also shot herself in the head? Yes, we got it. Jesus Christ. Love fucking death. There's only one thing to do.

We should just shoot ourselves in the fucking head right now. Or we can go to commercial and then we can switch it around. No more commercials. With live radio, baby. Fuck. That's what makes us different from a podcast. We're live right now. But yeah, so back to the comedy store

because you're talking about how crazy it was. How crazy it was back then. I'm wondering where in the comedy store, because I've been there, where in the comedy store was the place you would take somebody? Like where would you fool around with a girl? My mom's office.

Really? Where was that? Polly, make sure you... Yeah, chew ice on live radio. That's what you... Polly? Paulie, make sure you... Yeah, chew ice on live radio. That's what you... Paulie, Paulie, make sure you bring the pussy in my office. No, I'm just kidding. Fuck her on my desk, Paulie, real good.

No, I don't know. It wasn't, it was just spontaneous. I'd take them back to my mom's house or whatever. I don't know. Is that right behind the... That was the Cresthill house right behind the...? That was the Crest Hill house. What is that? That was the Crest Hill house. It's still there, right?

Do you still...? We're not involved with it. Isn't that where Bobby Lee lived for a minute? Bobby Lee lived at another house. Dice. Dice lived up there. No, no, no. There's two different places.

Oh, I'm sorry. So Dice lived at that house. That's where Mark Maron talks about, and Dice, and Yakov Shmirnov, and Tamayo Tsuki. That's where Sam Kenon talks about and dice and Yakov Smirnoff and to my Otsuki That's where Sam Kenison would throw furniture off and that was basically a halfway house That my mom got for the comedians because my mom just gave and gave and gave To the comedians and they would just live there and get fucked up there and party at the house Bobby Lee lived at another house down the down. Okay. Yeah.. And you live in Austin now, too, right? I stay there. I have a place there, yeah.

So you're L.A. Austin. And Vegas, too. And Vegas. Yeah. Okay, why Vegas? Well, I got places in all those places because the way I figure people get sick of me easily. So...

You just bounce. Yeah, so the second I feel like there's edginess, like at the Rogan Club, or like, oh, why is he still here? And then I'm like, oh, shit, I gotta peace out. You know, and then I go to Vegas, and it's like, why is guys, like, what's he, you know And I'm like, oh, shit, I got to peace out. You know, and then I go to Vegas and it's like, why is guys like, what's he, you know what I mean? Sure.

And I come back to the store. So it's better that way. That's kind of why I don't have a girlfriend. You know what I mean? Just people you see in each city? Yeah, they're going to get bored. You know what I mean? No, I just like, I like those three places.

And I like being at those three places. I love Vegas. My dad spent a at those three places. I love Vegas. My dad spent a lot of time there. I grew up there. It's got a lot of nostalgia. Even though it's new, it's still old. And then the store is the store, and LA is LA. That's my born and raised, and I love what Joe did.

In Austin, I feel, when I'm there, I feel like being with Tony and Joe, and all the staff and everyone there, it just feels, well you guys know. It feels like, it feels like LA a little bit, right? Yeah, it feels like, I feel like fuzzy. You know what I mean? And I like being there and I love all those guys, yeah.

The LA, the Comedy Store hang was always to me. I literally, the guy who was working there would never pass me, Tony or whatever. Well, we got a new Booker. Well, they finally passed me. Okay, good. But I gotta, I'm gonna put your name on the wall when I go home. I'm on, they put me on last year. Well, we got a new Booker. Well, they finally passed me. OK, good. But I got to put your name on the wall when I go home. I'm on. They put me on last year.

Oh, sick. 30 years in the business. I got it last year. But it was great. But the hang there to me was always the way to say the Jenny story and then hang there, dude. That's not cool. Oh, shut up. It wasn't hanging. Oh, OK. You really you really want to bring this down to the fucking the dark hole again. The hang back there is the coolest hang of all the clubs in Hollywood.

That's still is one of the best hangs in comic for sure. When I go there, I'm always excited to be there. I'm there much later than I'm ever at the Comedy Cell. Cause we just hang out, that front bar is great. The front bar, they got that back room, which is fucking great. And now Rose, Rose is I think working at now. Yeah, Rose is fucking great. And now Rose, Rose is I think working at now. Yeah, Rose is running it.

We got to Christine's known, Taylor, her boyfriend, right, forever. Yeah, for 20 years now. Oh, they get the new person. Yeah. She's worked there for a long time. I think I just met her at Mother's Day. Yeah, she was a server for years,

and then she left, then she came back, and now she's, you know. Did you ever with, I mean, just notorious coxmen, which I admire very you know did you ever with I mean just notorious coxman which I admire very much did you ever were you close to like getting married ever or with a girl where you were like like I actually really did love this one well I loved them all sure you know I believe that every girlfriend that I was with I was like 100 hundred percent in love but there was always this thing in the back of my head like this isn't't the one. So I think it was in my late 20s

I did marry this girl Priscilla, or excuse me, I did engage this girl Priscilla, but it lasted like six months. Really? Yeah, because she pressured me. She's like, listen, we've been going out for two years, either we get married or we break up, and I loved her and we really enjoyed each other.

I'm like, fuck it. Was she in show business or was she just regular? She was a playmate. Playmate. Yeah Priscilla Taylor. Yeah, really really cute. Really really. Okay, we're going to the Please say she's alive Please got to me. She's alive. Please tell me she didn't hang herself and don't show a picture now show then yeah Boy show a picture now. She looks like my Aunt Dottie. Look at those, holy God.

I don't understand, bro. She was so cool. We had so much fun, such a funny girl. Savannah, the girl that killed herself was funny. No, I have, no, not a specific. But are you still pulling this type of? No comment. Okay.

I'll take that, I'll take that. Thank you for not answering. If it was the old days, I'd lay it all out. Are you still pulling this type of no comment? Okay? Thank you for not answer if it was the old days I'd lay it all out Not anymore Off the screen, please We're married can you please send it to me? I'm gonna I'm gonna be a plumber later. Did your mom put pressure? She evidence somebody she liked for you ever She was the opposite she didn't want you to know it's the worst Really it'll fuck you up. Don't do it didn't want her she did yeah, then we'd have grandkids mother that shit No, she just always cuz she knows you know as a comic

It's your your number one thing should be that and you know and then if you can't get someone that really supports that Then it's it's kind of in the way. You know, and you get that a lot. I mean, you guys have a different relationship. She's in the business, and she totally gets it. And she's like, if you're addicted to going on all the time, she's not gonna be like, where the fuck are you going and da, da, da, da, da.

She's like, go, break jokes. Let's have fun. Well, you get a wife like me who really doesn't give a shit and yeah, do whatever you gotta do. She doesn't give a fuck what you do. Yeah, just leave. Go ahead, just bring me a check. But you get a wife like me who really doesn't give a shit and yeah, do whatever you gotta do. She doesn't give a fuck what you do. Yeah, just leave. Go ahead.

Just bring me a check. But you get- Cooks and shuts up. You get a lot of women that you start to date and they're confused that you have to go on stage every night. They're like, why are you working? I go, it's not work. You know what I mean?

This isn't work. This is something I love to do. Well, it's funny going the other direction was I was, that was my favorite, Kurt Metzger. It was such a funny thing. He was with a girlfriend for a while. He was, they got in a fight one day, and he was like, yeah, listen, I gotta go to work. And she was like, oh, work?

You mean like drinking a smoking pot and telling dick jokes with your friends? He goes, yeah, it's a great job. It's why I chose it. I'm sorry you hate graphic design. He was like, I'm sorry it is a wonderful job, but it is my job. Like, it is a wonderful job, but it is my job. It's a great job, unfortunately. I'm sure that, you know, you went to college for whatever.

And then how many specials have you done? I mean, you keep doing these fucking specials. Well, the crowd work was two. I released two from one, like, taping. So that was two hours of that. But I think I only have three specials total, if you you consider and then so how do you get in that space? You're like, okay I'm gonna kill for an hour two hours just riffing. I mean, that's just your thing. It was just yeah But it tried became your thing. Yeah, I've been doing it for a long I didn't was on the road for a long time. Well, if you don't write jokes, you can be your

No, but it works for him. It works for him. If you don't know how to use a pen and a paper or a typewriter or a computer, it can be your thing. I'm like, I just don't know how to read or write. Christine, is that true? Does he write jokes or he just... No, he writes on stage.

He writes on stage. Yeah. When he writes, I have a folder that says Jay Writing, and I, like, file it away because it's precious. It's gonna be worth money someday. The two writings of Jay. and I like file it away because it's precious. That's right. It's gonna be worth money someday. The two writings of Jay. So you just, so like if I'm like a fan

and I go and see you like in, you know, Kansas City, I come to the improv, you're coming, and I come to see you, it's all gonna be crowd work? No. No, he has jokes inside. Inside the crowd work. His jokes, it will be spawned from something that yet and then go into it I will do it, but I will but it's it's I don't say it's calculated because that sounds like a disgusting word

But it's it's kind of organized in your head like, you know, if you're gonna start fucking with people in my mind I just go I'm gonna do The bits I have are usually longer things when I get into them So it's like the early early show, especially two-show nights, the early show I'll do like these three or four. And then the last show I'll do the other ones that I haven't done and I'll just crowd work in between all that. But that came from just being stuck in the city for so long and not being on the road

in the same clubs every night with the staff. It was wanting to entertain the staff at the clubs because I'd see them eye roll with people who were doing the same jokes every night over and over again. So I was like, and I was following David Tell every night who's a genius and has brand new, fully flushed out written jokes every single day. So I was like, I can't do that.

I can't work at that pace. So I could work good off the cuff if I try. And then your longer bits? How long? Are you talking 10 minutes, 15 minutes, bits? Five minutes? No, five minutes, yeah. And then where do you come up with those?

From crowd, talking to the crowd. Or just in the data. The problem that's been difficult about that with writing jokes is doing so much broadcasting, is that I think much more now in broadcasting than stand-up in the sense that I go, oh, that's a really funny subject. Where I used to go, I'll go to the Comedy Cellar tonight and I'll talk about that and see how we can get to something funny from there.

Where now it's like, I'm just gonna come in right away on the show today and be like, hey, how about this funny thing and we'll reform it like this. Speaking of stand-up, you're at the stand all weekend, right? Just Thursday. Thursday night? You're doing your own show? Hour? Yeah. All right, well guys, make sure you go check out

Paulie Shore, the great Paulie Shore. He's gonna be in New York at the stand this Thursday, May 1st. And then he's at Wise Guys in Las Vegas on May 8th, and then he's gonna get out of there when they get sick of him He's gonna go to California Covina Burbank, Tacoma, Orlando. He's all over the place go check out this He's a legend in the business. He's royalty in the business of family's royalty And he's a really nice guy Paulie shore comm and soon to be punch up dot live Paulie shore so we get all the algorithm.

Make sure you go see Jay this weekend. Yeah, I'll be in the Comedy Works in Denver this weekend. Yeah, this is his favorite club. We're a special one. Go check out his special. And go to PunchUp.live and check out my stuff. Next week I'm in San Diego at the Mic Drop Comedy Club all weekend long.

Well, enjoy. Enjoy Jaleel White tomorrow. Pauli, thank you so much for being with us. Thanks for coming in, man. It's so nice to hang with you, brother. So that's it, we're finished? That's it. All right, guys, thanks for having me.