The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Porta Potty Monsters

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

The summer of concerts continues as Jay brings another group of friends to see live music. This time it was Iron Maiden and Megadeth at a soccer stadium in New Jersey. Bobby meets Jay at his majestic home and cannot get over the opulent way in which he lives. At the show they saw old fans getting medical help, acceptable porta potties, and plenty of wheelchairs. | Black Lou flies first class for once in his life and the guys reminisce about their virgin flights getting the king's treatment in the air. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Anyways, sorry. What the hell was that? I bought a button for Jacob. Okay. You know, sometimes you look over at Jacob and you're like, ugh. Yeah. Sometimes you're like, hey, what's up, man?

And then all of a sudden you turn over and you're like, ugh. Absolutely. It's a mood killer. Yeah, mood killer. I have a big button now that I'm going to place in the middle of the table. Okay. Then any time that mood killer happens, it's a 30-second dance party that you can push and Jacob has to get up and dance. Okay.

He has to dance any time you push that party. Well, here's what we've learned. The man can move for sure. The man can move. And he's got non-stop cardio. Yes. Because, of course, we're speaking about it's the bonfire. Faction Talk, Sirius XM-137.

yes um you found us but i said you found us everyone you found us finally yeah we're right between uh coffee talk and uh something else doesn't make any sense um but we uh took uh young jacob to iron maiden on um saturday night yeah you took us all again jay i really give you because you're keeping the comedy community alive. Friendships. You're doing what I think Patrice did, what I did, what Keith did. Just doing a more expensive way. A way more expensive way, but I think a way, yeah, you didn't just throw a barbecue with

some ribs. Didn't just throw a barbecue. Didn't tell everybody the movie to buy their own tickets to. Oh, God, that was crazy, right? He'd buy your tickets to this movie. Yeah, he really came out. He had Dante collecting the money. It was just frightening.

Crazy. Crazy. But you have taken it over and you're keeping this... I don't have a Dante. You don't have a Dante. I'd love to send Dante after everybody's ass for money. You do have a Christine. If I ever hit the...

If I bought them out ever, though, you will be getting calls from Dante for all this ticket money. I got to pay you. No, stop it. No, no, no, no, no. I like, listen, I don't want that over me. I'm going to pay you. It's not over you. I don't hold it over you.

You do? I hold it over one thing and one thing only. Yeah? Sirius XM. These are all fodder for the show. Right. We did a show at Manson, Rob Zombie. I'd rather eat the money to constantly say,

Sirius XM didn't help with these things at all that are both very show-heavy related. Yeah. I mean, I did try to help at Manson with a few things financially. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

I try to pay for this here and there. But look, what am I going to do? Am I going to not pay when people are screaming, just simply meeting me, losing their minds with excitement? What am I going to do? Am I going to treat everybody? Come on. It was one guy.

It was the right thing. It was one guy. You got another guy, and that guy was pretty stoked, too. I'm going to get two guys. That's two guys. Actually, it was way less people that I thought would run up to you than actually did. There was a lot. It was a lot.

It was a lot. I had four, I would say, three official, four I forced into. The staring at them. Yeah. It was fun. I had one guy. Yeah, you had one guy. That was my guy, right?

No. Yeah, he was your guy, but he knew me from the bar scene back in the day. Oh, that's weird. That's not a guy. That's a friend. A guy's knowing you from something famous. I was his bartender. I was famous.

Yeah, you're an old pal of his. Yeah. You're just some guy from his past. He recognized me. Yeah, from a net of debauchery gay sex. Yeah. Aren't you the guy to kick out of my bar for throwing up and fucking punching a lady? Yeah, that was me.

Aren't you the guy that was, I've kicked out of the bar for presenting? thing in the bathroom about you. It's many gay bars and they've always been all-inclusive. By the way, I watched a cops clip

today of the stings when the girls, the cop is the prostitute. And they go, and the guy goes, she has to walk away and she goes, are you a cop?

And he just pulled his wang out and he goes, does this look like a cop? Does he make any sense? The statement doesn't even make any sense. Does this look like a cop? I goes, no.

Looks like a penis, I guess. Looks like you're pretty much standard government issue penis. me and you would just have to say no yeah yeah are you a copse no no no no absolutely not prove it you got to let me touch your dick to prove it

not yet can you suck on my neck a little bit first I can't right now yeah not right now it's very cold me and you would get off on every charge oh it's making my wiener shrivel up thinking about having to present to a prostitute to prove I'm not a cop no don't make me do that Have you ever had a prostitute do that to you?

Yeah. It is a weird little interaction you have where you have to grab her titty and she has to grab your junk. Yeah, I flicked her fucking titty and told me it was a guy in Times Square in a porn store. How much does that cost? Her services were $50. I found that out. And then she told me, she made me do the whole thing because I was asking her. She was clearly a prostitute that the guy lets work.

The back booths. I think you go in the back booths and she'll do whatever. And I saw her kind of like talking to the guy in hearing. And I was just like, I was killing time before, I think I had no money. So this was not even a thing I could do. But like I was going to that laugh factory over there. Roxanne. You were just window shopping?

No, I was looking around the porn store. Yeah. I was going to like maybe buy a porn DVD or something. You could afford $999. Yeah. But not around the world. No. Yeah.

And I was like, and so she's kind of milling around me because she's looking for customers. And I go, so what does you do here? And she says it's like serviceman in the back rooms or something. Something that made me know what that's what it was. And I was like, oh, I go, what does that cost? And she goes, well, I got to make sure you're not a cop. And I'm not. And she goes, I got to make sure.

She goes, how? She goes, I got to touch your dick. So I just like pulled the front of my pants out. And she reached down and like, she didn't just touch it. She like grabbed it and tugged down a couple times. and then Is it a tug or a pinch? I got what you're saying for sure

But it was a tug Okay I know what you mean Was it more milking a little baby goat I got what you're saying The way she had to go down the front though It was like she was just on it right away Do you know what I mean?

Oh yeah She kind of like mushed it up a little bit Okay And then she stopped and I was like Well how much does it cost And she goes now you gotta touch me And she pulled out like I guess what turns out to be

Some weird little hormone tit And I flicked it. I gave a little touch like that. And I was like, how much is it? And she goes, $50. And I was like, oh, wow, all right. You know, let me think about it, whatever. Like, just to stop talking to her.

And then she kept talking to me. And she goes, do you know what I am? And I was like, yeah, a prostitute. And she was like, no, no, no. And she grabbed the box off the shelf. And it was like chicks with dicks volume, whatever. And I was like, uh, and I just, I made a weird noise. And I ran out of the store.

You had to fight your heart on. It took it. I ran out of the store and I had to fucking borrow 50 bucks quick. Yeah. I ran out of that store and I rushed to one of my friends. God, can you please advance me for my spot tonight? I got something big going on around the corner. Isn't it weird though?

She was so ugly. Again, if it was a thing, I don't think there was a point in my life where I was against if there was a semi-attractive girl who had all of her teeth offering blow jobs for money in a porn booth i'm not above the action she was like smelly gross you know i mean and also a guy yeah she's playing she got done playing full-cut basketball yeah at west fourth i didn't see the guy though i didn't see the guy in her until she said it and then it really did it says like coming out of a drunk stupor it's like everything's like like lined up fine i was like that's totally a guy her little round small nipples didn't with hair on them didn't it's funny how when with sad

X, getting out of, it's almost like getting out of that situation, it's so hard to say no. Like, you know, like you said, you get to, so many times you're like, oh, I got to think, let me think about it. You could just say, I'm good. Yeah. But I could never say I'm good. I'd be like, I'm going to, I'll be right back. I just got to.

Hey, you're trash garbage. Yeah. But still, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Maybe I'll have sex with you for money. It's completely out of the question, but live in that if you need to for a few. You were polite to a dude. I was polite to a fucking guy who jacked me off for a couple seconds

He grabbed your dick Grab my fucking hogger Ah, Jay is gay Damn dude It was the hardest I've ever been for a hand grab Stop laughing at you Jake So alright stop I hate this, it hurts

Oh great, now Christine's in on it Oh wonderful So You had a guy grab you junk in public So what? It happens man I got God It's New York

And then you asked how much? I did. I multiple, no, no, no. After I fell. Oh, after grabbing my wiener, I did ask how much. After she said she was a guy,

I was just a bundle of nervous energy and left. I just left. And then I went on stage and told the story immediately. Yeah, just so you didn't. That helped fight not going back. Yeah, I was like, so I'm gay now, I guess. They're like, what? I just got jerked off by a guy at a DVD store,

in a porn store. What? I remember telling it. I missed the point stories. It might be on my first album or half hour. Probably not half hour, but something. Your first half hour? It was a real story I told.

What was it called? American storyteller. Rebellion? American storyteller. Sit down. I thought it's funny to have that, create the picture in your mind of someone singing down on an acoustic guitar to sing songs and mine's about getting jacked off by a guy at a DVD store.

A DVD store. Oh, fucking Christ. Well, anyway. Bobby came to my house I came to your house I love your house I love it I love it it's the best

East Coast comic house no you say that and I don't like when you say that because my opinion is my opinion and your humbleness fucking bugs me

it bugs me it bugs me it bugs me your house is to me to me the perfect house here's why

you get the out the neighborhood is quiet it's nice very quiet but it's near a bunch of shit it's right down the street a bunch of shit and but your neighborhood's quiet as hell and the front i just love the out it's very california looking right with the trees i don't know it's it's got a little japanese look to it's very it's well kept we do the japanese thing and then when you go in it's all open concept but your levels you're you got multiple i like a level how i don't like upstairs downstairs downstairs You know what I mean?

I have a upstairs downstairs. I like a level. I like when you can just different. You go up, but it's not a lot of it. The level is not high. It's a few steps. If you needed to, you could jump off one of the levels and hit and roll and fucking fight somebody if you had to. I didn't enjoy the fact that I said I oftentimes in my house have to say something like, oh, I'm not going to get that.

That's like upstairs. And I'm like in the living room area. And then I'm like, it's literally. eight very small steps. But it's, you have a, you have a downstairs, you have a,

uh, downstairs, you have a, uh, a second downstairs, and you have an upstairs. You have level one, then you have level two,

and then you have level three, and level four is up. So, and it's all separated in a good way. I like the fact that if I was there, I could be down somewhere and not hear Dawn calling me. Yes.

You know what I mean? I like a house where you go, Dawn! Yes. Dawn! I've made it so... I like that. I never have to hear Christine. Yeah.

And then the outside. I always keep two floors between us. Yeah, yeah. I do like that. Like in your old place, you just go, you go, Christine, yeah. I know. Yeah, it's just right there. Right there.

Yeah, now you can hear her calling you, Jay. Yeah, hearing her fart when she doesn't think I... She goes, well, you must have been in another room. He probably can't hear this. And then I'm like, I heard it. Oh, man. and then you have the backyard is just epic. Oh, my God.

It is. You can fart all over that and not people hear. The backyard, I always go through your backyard first. It's Christine's farting yard. Yeah, she has a farting corner. Yeah, it doesn't it off in the fart corner. By the hammock. Yeah, yeah.

I control the television, and then she has fart corner way in the back. And you have neighbors, but you don't know your neighbors are there. There's enough space and trees that you don't see them or really hear them. Yeah. And that pool is magical. The jacuzes. fucking in a perfect spot right near of the house. It's not like

some people put a jacuzzi like a little too far away. Yours you come right out of two doors right there. And you got to be quick to get inside when it's cold out. Yeah but it's right there, yeah. No what I'm saying. So it's quick to get inside when it's cold out. You never get cold. Like when you get out of the hot tub

you're not cold. No, you get a little bit of it but then you're right in. And then you're inside. Yeah. And then the outdoor space is it's just epic. I mean, it's like outdoor, you have indoor, outdoor. Indoor outdoor. Let me just give the address.

Guys, it's... Well, enough about this house. We were here to talk about... You met me in my house. I did. I met you at the house. And then we Ubered. Bobby, you didn't talk about my snacks at all. Okay.

I do have to lay this down. Christine is a fucking... It doesn't make any sense. Let me tell you something about your chick. it's what you my wife does the same thing it's like they don't go anything where without bringing something and they if people are coming you're getting

you're getting something thrown in your face you're getting some type of snack I don't like when I go to somebody's house and I go in and there's not a snack in sight not one little nugget of something I could put in my face I just traveled here you don't know what I went through

you know what I went through some people don't even offer water they some people I shut up I show up at... If I work in somebody's house, I get off me a glass of water. I show up at your house. Not only do I get a drink. You were coming to meet me to go to a concert.

There was no reason Christina to butter fucking nose into it and prep a bunch of snacks. It was unnecessary. We're going to sit outside and smoke. Nope. You and I, two boys, two men. Yeah, with snacks. And not only did she have a drink for me, she had my drink, Barry Gatorade Zero, the pink one, which I love.

She, not even ask, didn't ask. Listen, the bitch knows how to entertain. I can't argue that for sure, but it's stupid. Put it in front of me. Put it in front of me. Didn't ask. There. And then she had carrots, but not just fucking baby shit, big carrots.

They became little carrots because they were fucked up. And she put out real artisanal carrots with a dip. My guess it would be stuff she's trying to get rid of from Trader Joe's Fort Goes Bad. No, dude. It was, it was, it was Matt, two dips, not just one. dip. She didn't stick me with the dip. It doesn't make sense. It was just hummus. It was light snack. It was like barely. What was the other dip? What was the other dip? That's the green onion dip. Bingo. Oh my God. It was so good. And guess what? I say she inserted herself

when there was no reason for it. It was awesome. And I had some of the carrots and I had some of the dip, the hummus and some of the pretzels. I did crush him gherkins. I won't lie. Oh, dude, she's gurgens. I forgot who the fuck knows about gherkins except you and me. Just because that's what Our penises are called most of the time. You don't know what a gurkin is, Black Glove? No. Oh, fucking Mr. Private Jetta over here, never had a gurkin. This guy knows what a dill is.

He's a dill guy. Me and you definitely gherkins. A gherkin is a tiny, super vinegar-y little pickle. Yeah. And that's, my penis has been called a gurkin on many. Sometimes they're called, what is that, cornichones? Mm-hmm. Cornichone?

Yeah. I love them. I love gherkins. She had gherkins, dude. She just had a bowl of gherkins. Who the fuck? Who? Someone was trying to make room in a fridge.

Nah, dude. She threw out gherkins because she knows how to put a shakout tree together. Anywho. It was fucking, I'm sorry. But Christine, every time I go there, the snacks are off the fucking charts. Bravo. Thank you. Bravo.

And you should be happy that you have an indentured servant living there that knows how to treat your fucking people. Because that's what I call Dawn. She's good. She's my servant. She's a good slave. Imagine if you had a bad, a bad entertainer. Ugh.

It was going to a bad slave. It felt weird saying it. We were supposed to go to Lewis's and she goes, Dawn went fuck. I went watch. She said, now I have to make something. I was like, you goddamn right, you do. You goddamn right.

I don't stop it. You goddamn right, you do. Yeah, you're right. Your instincts are correct. Do the right thing. Make something from scratch. So, we Uber to, which is pretty important. Yeah, we Uber.

To the concert. We get there It was a little leery about the Uber Uber was great Well we got in the guy Was dead silent in the Uber And then we hit It said it was going to be a long time

For a place it's not really that far It has listed as a pretty Like getting there like pretty much right on time And then it started getting Not on time Then it started getting into the show starting Anthrax going on at 615 It's saying we're getting there

It's 630 now We get into the traffic jam we see what happens is this stadium while lovely awesome lovely stadium yeah i have to say very cool looking inside it was really neat maybe the worst location or place to put a stadium i've ever seen in my life it's a way street it's a neighborhood that turns into a brand new neighborhood of like yuppie it looks like a but it goes it goes through an old it goes through this old school neighborhood that probably was Italian at one point. Now it's Spanish.

So it's all three family homes, all the cool little delis. But it's a one lane. Zero parking. For miles, for two miles? Sure. One lane street light roads where people are just, they don't care when the light turns red

if they're in the middle of the road. It's just staying there. So one direction never goes. That kind of situation happening. This guy, though, is driver. Uber black. Let me tell you something. Black XL.

Kudos. guys sometimes when it is a good driver a top-ray driver they dealt out this guy borderline drove up on the sidewalk to get yeah he cut off 25 minutes to traffic for us and we still as a courtesy to him at one point we were just like hey man you turn around here we're going to walk the rest of the way when we got to about three quarters of a mile that was jay's idea not mine it wasn't bobby's idea not my idea he when jay went well you can just walk i went okay We didn't love it I mean

The stadium was I'm over a mile away Yeah It was a mile at that point It was over a mile It was over a mile It was a last mile Two-fisted stadium in Harrison

Yes What else is near Harrison? A train stop A really big Was the train stop nice? Yeah that's great That's the way to go Yeah

It's a great train stop It's a five-minute walk from the stadium Yeah I had to take my Rolex off as soon as we got out of the car. You didn't have to. I 100% did. No, it was a bunch of fucking Iron Maiden people walking,

talking about Iron Maiden. Well, the funny part is we were following those people, and then they disappeared under a fucking bridge with graffiti. Yeah. And then you brought up the Dennis Leary movie. It was judgment night. It was the middle. And I was like, I took my Rolex off.

It's the middle of the day walking to a Iron Maiden concert. Yeah, but those people... By the way, two blocks from... Well, as soon as you turn that corner, where you took your Rolex off, as soon turned the corner, you see those beautiful, luxury apart. So the whole thing.

And I put it back on. You did. That block where we were walking when we had to go on. I don't like going under railroad tracks with graffiti. You're a racist, dude. I used to break dance under those same railroad tracks. Here's the thing, though. We were following Iron Maiden dudes that look like me, and then they disappeared.

That's what freak me out. They turned the corner. Well, there should have been other ones. And as soon as we turned the corner, what did you see? An oasis of beautiful apartments. I guess the lesson of the day is Turn the corner Turn the corner turn the corner

We walked two blocks before we were in that beautiful area Two blocks I could have lost my Rolex You know who's living under those fucking bridges This is disgusting racist I thought we I thought this got I thought all that Boston got New Yorked out of you You're making it racist It could have been

It could have been white fucking people that rob people I don't see color in an Iron Maiden concert Because it's all white It's all white You should walk through Kensington with your Rolex. That's all white. You should walk through Kensington with your Rolex. Those fucking zombies cannot take that from you.

I promise you. You want to practice fighting? Walk through Kensington with your Rolex on. You could actually put the Rolex on them for an hour, and they still wouldn't know. They wouldn't even know it's a Rolex. He goes, I'm going to sell this when I wake up. You could use them as mannequins. Put my Gucci bag on them, my Rolex.

My Jacques Marie's. Dude, if I lived out there, I would use them as hat stands. Yeah. Hey, hold my assorted Philadelphia Phillies hats. Well, it was just a weird neighborhood because it went in, it was a legit. It's industrial. Well, but that neighborhood that before the industrial was a neighborhood neighborhood, like an old school Jersey neighborhood.

Well, we were getting on the highway there. As you're going through, it's all busted down factory. It was really like abandoned graffiti buildings and shit. Then we got through that and we got in the neighborhood. We jumped out in the neighborhood. We jumped in the neighborhood. And had to walk through railroad track for a second. Dude, not a second.

A second. Because you've got to add. in the seeing the railroad track. So when you see it, those tracks did, they scared the shit out of you. Yeah. But if you thought we were in the bad neighborhood,

we were going to get to the other side of the tracks. That's good news. We didn't know there was another side of the tracks. I had a feeling this wasn't just in the middle of the hood, a soccer stadium. It looked like it was from where, from where we were walking, it looked a little desolate.

It visually sucks seeing it here. Yeah. There's no part. The parking is ass. It's terrible. It's the worst situation. In fact, it was fun. was as packed as the place was the parking lots weren't actually jam packed full because a lot of

people just choose not to i think they know you only got to get burned once i tell you i went with dan and katie to a game one time and we missed the first half we missed the first whole half of the game you can't get in you got you don't have to tell us that you went with dan and katy he wants to know well i mean he sees them too and he does has better times no i'll tell you what he would uh he would denounce that for the way he felt because i'll tell you when we all got there yeah we finally made our mile walk we found it yeah we see right away pretty awesome didn't have to gather Josh Jacob I'm pretty sure he has a beacon on you somewhere maybe I'm I'm I'm not listen I'm a hundred percent sure he's gonna tag at one he tagged you there's some type of thing in

your skin somewhere I I would scan you because it's fucking nuts that he can find you I'm I I He has a J app he created. It's possible we're tagged. It's possible I'm tagged. Yep. 100%. I can't argue with that. It's fucking nuts to me, dude.

We saw Jacob. Yeah, man, there you are. We saw Jacob right away. He did come out of nowhere. Him and Jacob, by the way, were standing almost next to each other. Had no idea. As soon as I walked up, dude, Jacob was or Josh was right out. If someone sit right in studio and didn't know he was here.

He just blends into the background. It's true. Jacob the Bush. Hedge, the hedge. The hedge? Not like Ron Jeremy, the hedgehog. The hedge. So, we go in.

I got the tickets on my phone. They sent us around. It's another one of those things. Like, I hate useless herding. Yeah. They sent you out of the stadium completely, like out of the gated area around the stadium, to go walk around the street further.

It was so weird to get to this one entrance That's how to get onto the floor. We had to walk around the whole building to get to floor seats, which I would think... Must be right there. Well, they were right there. They're just not letting you in right there. No, no, no.

You think the reason they're sending you around is because when you go through the gate, you're going to be right where you go in for floor seating. Yeah. Except what it just did was send you around there, and then you had to walk the entire length of the building backtracking to the original gate you were at, because that is where you go into the floor seats.

Yeah. But they're sending that entrance up. Uncomfortable. It was very strange. That's two miles. That's the two miles. And then you have to walk through just a fucking farm of urinals that, I mean, Jacob looked like he was facing demons.

I looked like he was. I can't take it, man. I used it. Disgusting. I'll piss in one of those in a heartbeat. I don't go if I had to piss, I would just piss. And they added the new urinals have, the new porta-potties have that side urinal,

which is the greatest invention ever, so you don't have to piss on somebody else's poop, which grow, when you're pissing on a fucking last dude, and you can just, you're breaking the seal of the poop that probably dried. Now you're, oh.

Sometimes they do try to pee off the poop. About these porot parties, why is it that people's... It's like a game, it's a guy game. Yeah, yeah, sometimes you're going to pee off the poop. If you see a little poop streak, I get you to pee off the poop. Why does it always float? Why is it always like an amount?

Because no one who shits in one of those is healthy. That's why. Whatever they're shitting is something that had to come out. It's a monster. Only monsters come out. No one ever takes a casual shit in a porta potty. I think of a triathletes fucking shit. His drops to the bottom.

All these guys have bread and sugar and soda. It's just floating. Like a twinkie. Yeah, cotton candy and kielbasa. You answered my question. Rum drinks. All the meds there on. Oh, yeah, exactly.

Fucking cholesterol medication, salt pills, nitroglycerins. My question's been answered. They did add the side urinal now, which is awesome. And I like that when you pee into it, you can still hear the flow. You can hear it going in a little bit. But it slows it down a little bit. I love it. I do like the side urinal.

That is a great invention. Side urinal. Yeah, I hate pissing on other people's shit. So we walk through the porta potty. We get some waters And we head into our floor section We get to the front Anthrax is wrapping it up

We didn't see any of anthrax No We saw their ending few notes They looked great And then they left And about a half hour later Megadeth came out Megadeth

Sweating bullets was so awesome Sounded so awesome Symphony just for destruction was great But I like sweating bullets more Beyond that he's just a guy dying on stage I feel like ultimately I mean there's no energy in that band at all

like it's he is not okay he's sick I think I saw one of his teeth fall out I mean he just like he has this face all the time he's like scrunched up face and he's like you know he's just mumbling into a microphone can I say something though I'm watching these guys play

guitar oh yeah it's it's it's gotta take a lot because he had if you look at his hands they're arthritic His knuckles are arthritic. Oh, uh, Dave Mustaine? It must take so much out of them to play that fast. Still shreds, though.

He's so clean. Yeah, dude. He is, I liked them a lot, but... That was the other day? Was he wearing a black shirt like that? I don't know why I thought he was wearing white for some reason. That's the six. That's the day after.

That's the day after. Oh, oh. Yeah, why are you putting up the stupid wrong day? I did like the background, though. Just the word megadeth? Dude, I fucking loved it. Yeah. cool logo it was pretty it was pretty rock and they were great they were really i really enjoyed them they

were great yeah maybe that's fun i said the songs i knew yeah he sell whatever three songs but who's buying and then uh symphony and sweating bullets and they were really cool to the crowd like they were grateful to be still playing at how was he 600 how old is he i don't know but he's around 65 but this is their last tour i think yeah he was really grateful for the crowd he still shreds he still shreds guitar. Yeah, he does, man. He goes. He's just, like, he said, you feel bad for me. He's in such bad shape, I think. Yeah. Yeah, they can't really move

a lot. But he beat cancer, right? He's in full remission and stuff, right? Yeah. But he got, like, really, I think they thought he was going to die. I think he did. Did die? I'm pretty sure. He might be good. He had a brief moment time where his long, he had great long hair. But he was, he had the poodle hair for the longest time, then great long hair, and then he was just an old man.

That fast. The good part of the end of this tour, when he does die, they're going to make him Eddie. He's going to become Eddie for Iron Maiden. No shit, dude. He's got a whole second career. They're going to strap a flame throw on his back and send him out. That's a good second act. I didn't realize there was a mosh pit. Yeah. Well, it's funny because I saw so many people with hokas.

I mean, dude, I saw a kind of hot chick wearing hokas. We should have done a hoka check. But I did. There was a lot of hokas at that concert. This place is insane, by the way. They'll just let wheelchair people go right into the standing pit. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. And by the way, the people that were in control of those wheelchair people, they would just wheeled them into a spot like they were people finding a nook within the people.

So you'd be like surround. Like the person who's standing behind you is now a wheelchair person you're definitely blocking the shit of. Also, I noticed by myself, why do I oversmile a wheelchair people? I bet they hate that. Why would they hate smiles? Because you're smiling at them because you're caught looking at them basically. You're going to call looking at them. because they're in a wheelchair.

And what you're always thinking is the same thing. Like, man, look at me. How do I bitch about life and complain about everything? When this fucking lump of shit can't even fucking move, just a burden on everyone in society and everyone around it. And then when they look at me, I always go, Hi. Hey, I disagree.

You do? I'll tell you why. Dawn's mom at one point was wheelchair, and we went to Vegas with her. You threw out of a helicopter. No, we got to go into, I use that bitch. to get into everything. We got first into everything.

We got parking, everything. As long as you're holding that, the back of that. It's about who you're with. And I'll tell you that, because where the guy, if I was going to bring my wheelchair daughter, family member, girlfriend, whatever, to the concert. Because that's what happened. If you remember, one of the wheelchair girl was very cute.

And the guy where there was like a slubby older guy, and you were like, it's not her dad either. Wasn't dad energy. You go, this guy. got her because he's like, yeah, I'll fucking make sure there's a ramp everywhere we go for the rest of our lives. If you are pretty enough to let me fuck your dead body. Yeah, if you go back and forth into my cock. If you let me fuck your completely numb, dead body.

I'll push you around. But he pushed her into a spot where she 1,000%. If you got to your girl, do you got to keep her to the back of the pit so she could see over everything? He just mushed her right into people's fucking back of their legs. There's four feet of people. Yeah, I know, but they got up front parking. They got past everybody. They went right in wherever the fuck they want to go.

So you're saying, if God forbid something terrible happened to Dawn or Max where they were wheelchair for the rest of their life, a party would go. Yes. Nice. We're in everything. We're in everywhere. You want to go to the mall again this week? Hey, want to go to the mall on fucking Black Friday? The only place you can't go is the original seller.

You have to throw it down. You got a Tumblr. Yeah, you've got to go to VU. But they were good. They were fantastic. They were great. And the sun was just going down. It went down at a perfect time, by the way.

Let's get into, before we get us, because obviously the star of the show, we're going to know who it was. But so we was talking about some people watching we saw there because there were some goodies. Yeah. There was some no goodies. We saw a guy. It's amazing that you can track a person who's kind of. of inconspicuous in their own way but when we first put up Josh goes yeah he goes

cops are all over here in EMTs man he goes one guy one guy died I think and then when we were walking around that big long walk to get to the floor seats maybe sad we were walking around we saw a guy who had EMTs around him in a I mean this was another couple hundred feet walk still away a guy lay on the ground and the EMTs around it and Josh goes that's the guy he's on his second on my died. Yeah, I was on the job for 30 years. And he was walking up.

He made me laugh so hard. He was doing that. He's at the mustache. He's an old sweaty guy holding the towel. And sitting there on the ground and he's like, hey, he's embarrassing guy. I was on the job 35 years myself. You know, and you're like, oh, well, look at you now, you sad shit. When we were leaving the concert, dude, I just looked over to the right at one point.

Son of a bitch made it. He made it to his seat. He was in there. Yeah, but he was sweating gravy. I mean, he was so wet. Yeah, dude. It was, by the way, it was a. a nice cool night it was a

thick sweat it wasn't it wasn't wet it was it was like a creamy viscus yeah it was heart diabetes like a synthetic oil it was his his body releasing something to live

sweat I can't argue with you I remember that sweat I remember it was a thick sweat yeah and he was he was squatting down in a fucking position he should he was like on a knee but sort of sitting on his

leg. Yeah, he was in a position his body made him go into it. Yeah, he went down to it. His body just stopped. And then they had to get people over to hoist him back up and get him to a fucking seat. That's how much Iron Made meant to this guy. That guy was great people watching. There were

some hot chicks there. Come on. None. Buddy. Now, do you're out of your mind. Name, I mean, when you're thinking of a rock concert, you're thinking that a bunch of hot chicks are going to come, and there was a bunch of hot chicks. Like used to be hot chicks showed up.

A lot of chicks that probably when they first saw Iron Maiden were smoking hot. But I'm telling you, I saw the effect there too, that TikTok world of these things catching some legs. They just said that night, he goes, he goes, I can't tell you the last time in our careers we could sell out two fucking soccer stadiums. I'm telling you right now. In two nights. Dude, rock and roll is making a huge comeback. But that's retro. Dude, all you need right now is.

a young band to start doing rock and roll everybody's done with gay r&b it doesn't exist they're done they're done with gay rappers it's over but what's the new sound and rock that no one's like gonna fucking get it's gonna be it's gonna be it's gonna be back to it making something that catchy it's not that's not bubble gum pop rock it's gonna be metal it's gonna be fucking uh rock and roll like acdc But there's no more like who's the next slip knot. Who hits like that big where like slip knot, even if you don't know metal music, people are aware who slipnought is. I don't know, but I 100% think the next generation is going to be into rock and roll. And whoever that young band is right now, just like disco was huge in the 80s and rock kind of dot.

And then it came back with hair band shit, which we love, Maldi Crew and poison and all that. It went from Led Zeppelin and Van Halen and the Who to. two fucking motley crew and poison and all that, Bon Jovi. And then it went away. Rock went away. I know because, listen, this is the signs talking. Oh, shit. Everybody hold on.

Black and Latino people reproduce at a rate that we cannot keep up with. And their style of music will tend to dominate the airwaves because we cannot keep a pace. The only people who are keeping that kind of pace are religious, stupid white people. And that's why there's nonstop new country music coming out. Well, we used to, the guineas and the mix used to fucking keep the pace. Yeah, yeah. Because they believed in God and you can't kill a baby. So they kept all their fucking kids.

And now they figured it out that a couple of these broads were like, yeah, I'm just going to kill it. Yeah. And they started killing them. And now they have one kid at 40. Yep. They have one kid at 40. And she has a job and they're making money and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, no one's making rock bands.

No. You're right. You're right. Meanwhile, there's a new addition's worth of black children born every millisecond. Don't forget. Don't forget, Muslims. Those guys are fucking keeping them all. Even the fucking ones with hair lips.

Dude, there's a full minuto born every millisecond. Muslim people, even if it comes out with lobster hands, they're like, put him into, let him serve. Every second, a hundred minutos are made. Yeah. Five brand new Minuto lineups. Yeah, Spanish people just, they like having babies. I love cream pies, man. White people, we used to, we used to, Italians and Irish, you kept your kids.

It was against God to. Not me, dude. Like the hose of bitch down. Yeah, now we just have one kid. And hopefully we get to see it go to high school. Because we're fucking 60 by the time it gets there. That's your story. No, you, that's your story.

I know. I know. I know. Yeah, but you're black, dude. You're not fucking, we don't consider you a white guy. That's true. Yeah, you're half black, half white. Yeah, yeah.

Me and my daughter have the same music taste. The first half of your life, you were black, and the second half, you're white living in the suburbs, having no kids. But black people still rule. I think we all know the black people still rule, though. God damn right, they do. For sure. I will say, oh, let me say one thing. I got to go negative about this stadium.

And if anyone's listening who's in charge of that stadium, you got to work on your staff, my man. Some people were really cool. who worked there, they were helpful, but I mean, there was like, what I would say that at place, the black staff that worked there, dealing with like an Iron Maiden crowd, were letting it be known very much that they were fucking not into it. I mean,

out loud it goes, you have to go around. It's one line. God damn. Y'all motherfuckers, like, God, you know what, then go where you want to go there? I mean, I was talking to, who was a Josh one with me to get the, to get white or high noons or whatever. And when we walked over there, I was like, dude, that's really, like, that's terrible

employee. That's fucking, everyone here is trying to have a good time like they're not being shitty do you think it's him not knowing how to deal with uh an iron maiden crowd or he's a girl or girl dealing with a rap crowd a lot no you maybe maybe maybe it's maybe it's just what she's used to no no no listen i'm not saying i have a feeling listen it's what fucking super honest and shitty servers will say about like you know black people not tipping coming in and he's like oh it's so packed but always but no one's gonna tip you know i mean it's Like you're bitching about the, like the wrong thing. Like when we went to see Nine-Ech nails at Barclay Center, staff, particular.

I mean, they were so shitty to the crowd. It was just because it was like a gothy metal thing. And you can just see it, like a complete disregard of like, what? Yeah, the bathrooms are over there where the signs are. And you're like, Jesus, man, they're just like a bunch of fucking goofball kids that want to see a show. So it's a strange thing. I don't know, but I say it, I could see like a fucking, if you were like a white person and getting talked to all night at a fucking, like,

you know my daughter went to that Ken Carson concert it looked fucking insane from the videos I saw and I'm like I'm sure the white staff there is kind of like this sucks all these black people that I'm terrified of or jumping around and threatening my fucking authority I bet they're very polite I bet those people are very no right down here sir maybe so I do think it's probably goes across the way both ways for sure I could see it but I just watching it happen I'm like this lady was just being unnecessarily shitty to everybody and everyone around was so pleasantly like because it's an older crowd Iron Maiden for the most part.

So, I mean, everyone's kind of like, you know, it's like, right over here, miss, and she's like, how many times I got to say one line to the thing? You're like, yo, how many times you're going to say it? I don't know. It looks like 60,000. But just looking around a little bit,

I think 60,000 times like, you have to say that. I have a bunch of retired guys and comfortable sneakers. As asking where the bathroom is or whatever. Yeah, they haven't been to Iron Maiden in 13 years. So weird. And some of them are very nice. I mean, I saw a lot of that, though,

like pockets of that. I think they're like, it with any of you like yo they have to work on their drink system too when you go up and buy we bought a water they take the lid off you're like all right whatever i don't have a lid so you have to kind of just have one or two or you're going to spill everything and then when we got to the pit they make us pour our water into a plastic cup which is just put it in the plastic cup to begin with yeah so i don't have to i don't have to work it's so you don't throw it at the stage yeah i get it but just put it in the plastic cup right there the msg does that that

They put it in the plastic cup at the place. I get it too, but also at the same time. It really sucks at, like, a few people spoiled that for everybody. Because people that would throw a fucking full bottle of soda at the stage fucking sucks. I've seen it happen. I've seen it. I've seen Marilyn Manska hit in the face with something before. It's pretty funny.

Fanoia has, like, a concert top. He brings with him, like, an aquafina top. He puts in his pocket. I'm sorry, what? He carries a cap. So when they take the cap on the water, he has, like, a spare cap in his. So does Josh. Josh actually does that too.

It's actually, it's so smart. Not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. Listen, it is not a bad idea. But it is a really fucking Connecticut idea. Sure. That is a guy who lives in Connecticut suburbs.

It's a Swiss Army personality. Yeah, and he got that from a neighbor. You know what I do? I just, I bring my own cap. What? Yeah, my own cap. Just bring your own cap. Makes it easier.

Mike's like you and shares that, like, Guy thing that's things that I would never buy but he says they're great and then always three weeks later it's like that thing is fucking broke a piece of shit That's the fucking rule of gadgets here. He had one that was like you hang it over The this was a tough one for me. He gave me a couple things that require them hanging on the Tray in front of you Oh the oh the airplane Yeah, but there's no there's no train in front of you because you're in fresh class Yeah, there's no frame in my seat

Yeah, it's whatever it's not for you It's not for me. It's not for you But he hangs it on that, and then it's like a foot hammock, and then you put your feet in it so they swing. Like, they're not, like, on the floor, actually. They dangle on it's supposed to make you sleep better or whatever. I almost bought the foot hanger. He got it. I don't know where he stands with it now if he loves it or hates it, but, like, it'll go back and forth.

My mask pillow that straps your head to the seat is a tough one for me to get over, because you have to hook it up, which is the most embarrassing part. is that I have to apply it to my seat. But once I get it on and I don't see anybody and I put my wake for food. Oh my God. But sometimes I go, sorry for my snoring. But other times I just put sleeping, don't wake. My little Velcro little...

Why do you want to be such a spectacle? Because I'm a drama mama. Yeah, you really are. That's why. And it's in me and I can't stop. I can't even sort of argue that. You're a drama model. What else do you call that?

I love it. But it does take a lot to get, it took me a minute to get over the, you know, and the first couple of times, usually when you get something like that, people would be like, what is that? And I got none that. People just looked at me weird like they wanted nothing to do with it. But I did get woken from my snacks, the meal. It does work.

Yeah? Yeah. She literally peeled my vocal. Like that. Hey, you fat dork. Food's here. Fuck. Wake up, you fat dork.

Fat dork so harsh. I do like the, I have the thing that he has that you put on your tray that hold your phone because I watch my phone on the plane a lot of the time. He gave me one of those. I have one of those. And I do like that one, but I actually had mine taken away from some dude flight attendant. It came out and goes, that's not FD, F, whatever the fucking acronym approved. FAA.

FAA approved. I go, I bought it. FUA. I bought it in the airport. Why are they selling it at the airport? airport and why is there a picture of a airplane seat you think they just make it and sell it at the airport if you're not supposed to bring it on the plane he was like sir it's not and he just repeated it so i had to take it down he took it you didn't take it until your mom came to pick it out i would have

fought him for that didn't sound like that sounds like first that he took it and you realized how bitch that sounded i took it down i took it down i did back down i took it down what happened was he made of spider uh why'd you panic would you make of spider it's funny that you bring up first class because uh guess what black loo wait we're jumping we haven't even told i know i just i want to i want to make sure we can sidetrack a little bit black lou did first class for the first time no no first class first class i thought it was private no what what are you crazy i don't know why i thought that for some reason you think you come back to the show if he was private he's got fucking he's got lake dwelling in-laws that's true he does they think if a private jet i think

a guy who has a plane lou might think a sea plane is a private jet You flew it for the first time? First time. Now, did you use all the amenities? Like, did you go to lounge life? I did not go to lounge life. You don't just get lounge life first class, by the. You don't get anymore.

No. You have to have the credit card or have the membership, depending on what flight airline was it? United. United, you could buy, what I like about United is you can just buy the lounge, like for the year. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, you can buy Delta for the year, too, now. Cash? You can buy it. I think it's $800 or something like that. Yeah, something like that. It's like $700 for the year. I would fucking do it in a second. I just did it for United.

Yeah. I mean, I would never fly. Sort of waiting to get all those points. I would never fly United. But whatever. I don't do United. No, but tell us. You don't live near an airport.

I do. You live near no airports. I live near LaGuardia. Don't say the word near. I'm near. You're not near it. I'm as close to LaGuardia as I was when I lived in the city. Nope.

Yes. Nope. Yes. That's a crazy lie. It's not a crazy lie. That's fucking mathematically impossible. When you have to cross town, when I lived on 47th Street, hang on now, before you give me your fucking suspicious eyebrows. When you have to cross town.

You're thinking. I'm not thinking. We have to cross town and get to the second Ave and go through the bridge. The traffic getting across. Okay. Cross town. You didn't say the right thing then. I did.

I explained myself better. No, explain yourself. you said the wrong thing. You said, I was closer. Time-wise. That's not closer. Well, time-wise, it's the same, basically, is the same. It took me 45 minutes.

Wow, look who's about to, look at that, 45 minutes to look at order here from your place. But now that, stop right there. You're not going, I'm going in the morning, in the morning, no cars, and the guy's driving probably 96 miles an hour, nodding off the whole way down the sawmill or 684. So we're flying there. So it's way short of them. We wouldn't have even had this back and forth debate. It's good for radio.

If you just said from the beginning, it takes me the same amount of time to get there from. Right, with traffic. With traffic. Getting through the city. But without traffic. Without traffic, absolutely. Go back to the other one real quick.

It's without traffic, just so you know, go back. It's 35 miles more from where you're. from. But time-wise, getting from 47th Street, going across town. But we can get together on the idea that it's not closer. It's not closer. Yes, I used the wrong word. I thought as the science, you would do the science in your head. Science is exact. Yeah. And exactly. You would figure out the variables, not to use a big word. I'm sorry, Lou. But you would do the variables. I'm it and let me say one other thing i have a westchester airport which is 15 minutes from my house where is that fly it flies jet blue jet blue delta i fly to florida out of there i fly to a ruba out of

there it goes to a bunch of places wait a second i'm closer to look water than you yeah not you wouldn't be though i guarantee you i would get there before you because of traffic you have to go over a bridge go away really you have to go over a bridge you have to go over a tunnel You have to go through the city. I go through another. No through the city at all. I'm going strict highway, one bridge. No city at all.

How do you get? You go over the... Harlem River. The what? G-dub, Harlem River Drive. G-dub. You have to go over... That's the city.

That's Harlem. No, no. You're right on a highway. Harlem is a borough, you're fucking nut. But you're in a highway. But you're still on a borough. You're still in Manhattan. You're still going to go through the city.

And you're going to go over that bridge. And that bridge... Stop calling it to city. It's the city. It's one of the five. Five boroughs. No. It is.

The Harlem River Drive. Harlem is a borough. The Harlem River Drive. You got Brooklyn. You got Queens. You got Staten Island. You got Manhattan. And you got Harlem.

Burrow. It's New York. Five burrows. But we could all agree that you live substantially further away from LaGuardia than you did. I live further away, but time-wise, it's the same if there's traffic. Yeah. I like that. I can get there quick.

Like, I remember taking the, I remember getting the cab in the morning going to LaGuardia or going to JFK, which is a nightmare. Sometimes it would take me a half hour to get through the fucking city and get to that stupid tunnel. God forbid anything happens, you're done. But from where I'm at, straight shot. Black Lood, you bat around the idea of masturbating in your seat? I did not. No? What's wrong with you?

You should do. It's first class, bro. No rules up there. It's like eyes wide shut. As soon as they close that curtain, dude, pull out your wacky big nose mask and start whacking off for the first important white lady you see. Next time. How long was the flight? Two and a half.

Flying down the Palm Coast. But Jacksonville. But yeah. Did you eat? Did you get a... Did you get a meal? No meal. Fuck.

I remember when we all laughed at Black Lou and he was like, I'm going to start a dry cleaning business. And we go, dude, that's a Chinaman's game. And he said, you'll see. And now look at him. Yeah, he's flying first class. Two hours, no meal. No lounge. 6 a.m. flight.

Free bag of Vicki's chips. 6 a.m. flight? 6 a.m. flight. That's why I skipped both of that lounge stuff. Yeah. Damn. I don't know what that's like. Lounge opens at 445.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can get in stupid early. I'm a newbie. If you would have went, they would have clapped for you. Yeah. No, you don't know that.

Me and Jay have been to the lounge so early that when we come up with the first one and they applaud. Sometimes it'll do it for me in the afternoon or whenever I go on because they're just happy that I'm back. They actually do it for Jay when he leaves sometimes too. Yeah, yeah.

Get out of here. I leave a very light footprint. I just get a couple of dainty crackers and charcutory. I rarely get a meal there ever. Almost never. But anyone I bring always gets one. Full. They go full.

Full plates, yeah. I mean, Josh has come back with two plates. Oh, the worst. Phenoya will always get some food at the thing Dylan will always get some food at it I get it I used to be that way too When I first entered first class I was like oh my god this is free

And now I do the couple things I get some orange juice and like a little plate of like The stuff you can just grab And then I go sit in my seat And I just enjoy a comfy chair Until it's time to leave Yeah I plug my stuff in I plug my stuff in

I usually get a espresso I'm making espresso Or I'll make a cappuccino And then I'll get a cup of ice And then I'll make an ice Cappuccino This is why me and you Are a couple of brothers hanging out

In this thing I'm not like Bobby's over The espresso machine I don't play that shit If it's in the afternoon I'll go over for some free liquor Shit Got some of that free liquor and shit

Did you Did you, on the way back Did you get a meal? I didn't fly first class On the way back Oh God, you go back This was a one time Yeah, he had to drive a Subaru.

97 Subaru Outback. How does that happen? How do you, you booked it first class one way or they upgrade you? I booked it first class one way. And then you... Using my miles, thankfully, from this job. You just want to let your family know where they were on the way back? Yeah.

Don't get used to the shit. Yeah, don't get used to that. We're going back to life. Zone 6. Yeah, no one's bringing your fucking charcuttery here, idiots. The lady brought me two glasses, which I had never had a glass on a plane. before. Yeah, you get a knife too. Yep. Yep. And I...

Well, before you take off, they'll give you something in plastic or paper, but then when you take off, they get the glass. Yeah, and when you get a meal, you get actually get a cloth napkin. And usually genuinely silverware. Silverware, and when they put the napkin down, you just put your hands up. You don't do... They put that down. They put that down. They put that down. A table cloth. Table cloth and you... This is what you do. This is what you do. This is in case you go again. You put your hands up.

Don't... You don't fucking help them. You let them do it and you put your hands up. I was holding my two glasses because I didn't know what to do with them. Because there was no tray and the lady laughed at me. And then she opened the side. Armour asked and pulled out the... I remember getting confused. They bring out like a pat of butter.

You guys have pats of butter here? Yeah, they do. I remember one time I was on a really holy shit first class, the lie downs. And I couldn't find the headphone jack. And I had to ask. Yeah, it was really embarrassing. said, oh, sir. And she goes, oh, your headphones. We have headphones for you. They had the bows. And she goes, oh, your headphones are right here. And the plug is right there. And I was

like, oh, I just put my little, my little Sony's back. Now, this wasn't for comedy. This is back when you were a twink jiggle-o. Yeah. Yeah, of course. You were getting flown around the country to do gay stuff. It was out of the country. I didn't do anything in the country. Oh, middle of the show plugs. I almost forgot. Hey, everyone. Bobby Kelly's going to be in Saratoga Spring, September 11th and 12th. That's this Friday night and Saturday night. It is indeed. And then Brooklyn, New York on September 26th. After that, poor Charlotte, Florida, Boston, New Orleans, all on deck for tickets and all of his tour dates. Go to punchup.com.

And, of course, check out his YouTube at Robert Kelly Comedy. Check them out every Tuesday night, including tonight. 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. And make sure you listen to his podcast. The OG, you know what dude podcast, and of course, the regs. And I really want to make an announcement. I'm very excited. I will be doing my pre-sale.

went on yesterday. I'm filming my hour special December 12th in Rhode Island at the Uptown Comedy Theater. Newly renovated theater. It's beautiful. And for tickets,

I would love for all the Bonfire fans to show up and be right up front. I love the title. Get Bobbed. That's not the title. That's what I picked. No, that's not the title. I realize I haven't brought that to you yet.

Okay. Well, you just brought it to a lot of fucking people. Get Bobbed. I know now you're not. has to be better than that. It's not. It's Hopchapalopalos. No, you know what?

No, that's not it. I'll accept Bobby Kelly Marshmellios. Oh, that would make me so happy. Bobby Kelly, marshmallows. You go, it's September 9th, and it's, what is that? It's Uptown, what is that? Tomorrow Wednesday, September 9th? What is that?

Oh, sorry, I'm reading that right. She wrote all this other stuff that I don't need. It's on sale right now. Presale, Uptown pvd.com. Use code word dude. to get your pre-sale tickets right now. And it's selling pretty good right now. So I'm very excited.

So I want to sell it out. It's 800 seats, Jay. You're going to do three shows? I'm doing one show, and if we sell that out, we'll do two. I think we're going to shoot for three right now. All right. We're putting three on sale, everybody. Get your tickets right fucking now.

So make sure you go check that out. Again, it's Uptown pvd.com for presale code word dude. Big J is going to be at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach, September 11th. 11th and 12th. Never forget. How could they forget when you're performing there? Yeah. He's going to go to Magoosie's and then he's going to,

that's in Baltimore. I love that club. Stage is crazy, but I love that club. September 25th and 26th. After that, he'll be in Cleveland, Seattle and Denver for tickets and all of the tour dates. BigJ Comedy.com.

Wow. YouTube.com slash at Big Jokerson for his live shows and his specials are up there. And be sure to check out Legion of skanks and story wars wherever you listen we'll be right back with the bonfire what's the channel again 137 137 right it's 137 oh oh that's 137 oh oh