The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Predictions and Parenting (w/ Shane Gillis, Andy Fiori & Rachel Feinstein)

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Shane Gillis calls in from a parking lot in Pennsylvania. Andy Fiori joins the show to discuss the HBO documentary series “The Vow”. Comedian (and new mom) Rachel Feinstein talks parenting techniques with the Bonfire hosts and reminisce about the job their own parents did raising them.

You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J.O.K.S.M. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio, SiriusXM95 or on demand on the SiriusXM app.

Also, be sure to follow us on the phone. Shane Gillis from the mountains. Yeah. Yes, dude. Dude, I love a fucking call in a parking lot. Yeah, I'm here in Trump headquarters live from a live from a Walmart parking lot. Oh, we are live. You guys will be it a rally. A Walmart parking lot is always Trump rally.

Dude, it's game day. I don't know how you feel right now, but it's I've swearing at my life. I've never been more excited so like at the base. I think something fucking crazy is gonna happen. Shane, are you tailgating? Are you doing a Trump tailgate?

No, I'm gonna go on. Yeah, we had to break for the rain, but I'm gonna go back. Yeah, you know, dude, you thought you thought the Buffalo bills get wild. Get ready for this one. You can get the fuck off. And there's Taco Bell sharing this parking lot.

Yeah, it's party time out here. Oh man, I bet they, yeah, they're gonna get hammered and yell build a wall. There's just our canning build a wall at the Taco Bell. Should I bring my phone inside? You can see some fat units walking around out here. Yeah. It's a wild.

Dude, I love nothing. It's wild. Dude, I love nothing more than mashed potato calves on a lady. Everybody, I'm here. Oh, buddy, I gotta tell you, I watched that Comey movie, the two-night thing of that, I was telling Dan about that. And just through this stuff and was going on in the goddamn world, I've never in my life, I've just, I think, skipped almost every round of debates ever. I watched one or two last year with Hillary and him

because he's being so weird. Trump, but I also didn't think he was gonna win, so I wasn't that invested, you know what I mean? Yeah, I was like, this is all just like, you know, he's gonna look like an ass and Hillary's gonna win this thing anyway. So like, who cares? This year, like, I'm gonna watch all the debates of the,

I can't wait to see what, I think something insane Sains going to happen This is basically last year or last election was was Drago versus Creed Hillary was creed fucking showing off everyone was like, yeah, that's our guy I Maybe Biden's Rocky I don't know dude. I have I have strong. I don't know I've watched that buster dog this documentary and Biden could be buster Trump is definitely dice in a drive. Oh, yeah He's just getting he's just getting hand jobs from the cleaning ladies in the hotel

He's just getting hand jobs from the cleaning ladies in the hotel. He's like usually, usually I get a, I've porn a cake before I talk to a woman. I'm gonna fuck me till you love me. I'll stop by on your son's testicles. Mike defense is impregnatable. Yeah, dude. Actually, Trump was just here. He was in middle town.

That's many this week and I tried to go. Did I get tickets? Yeah, I tried. Dude, do they scalp? Yeah, but you had to wait outside for like five hours. Dude, just fuck it. And then then you get a fat. Like, you're like, he's going to do it.

He's going to talk so much shit. Well, it was, it was right after he named Supreme Court lady. So yeah, he was talking mad shit. Yeah But also raining it was raining and he has that makeup so they'll have been fun to watch Yeah, nice watches He goes like full black base like Yeah, you don't realize that's not a brine on him. That's a fucking that's paying it on Yeah, I'm gonna be like a stripper with a car we're broken down. It's just like fucking running that in space

I'm a god. I also gotta tell you guys this breaking this I stopped the fuck I walked into sheets before I came to this Walmart And I stopped my toe so hard that it ripped the sock My toe is bleeding. I had to I got two cans of skull and band-aids from the fucking cashier. So that's, that's the sheets Tuesday special right there. Band-aids in skull. Now I have a hole in my sock. Band-aids, oh. Horribly bloody toe sticking out. Yeah, that's, the stub toe is a thing where I broke my toe earlier this summer, like my

third one in the third one from the the one next to the pinky toe. You didn't tell me about that, Daniel. I I should have I was embarrassed. I'm happy to hear him say that because I don't know about this either. Is the you is uniform to going into Walmart having very light jeans. Everybody here. Very very light denim. It's the only color that goes with a looney tunes t-shirt. Yeah. I think she was. Of course, Marvin the Martian and or Tweety Bird. Oh, man, I always love Taz and Bugs dressed up as Yankees fans backwards, backwards jerseys.

Yeah, just up is Chris Cross. Yeah, Chris Cross. Um, what's your predict? You said you had predictions for the debates. I truthfully, now I'm just saying this is we need to, people need to respect greatness right now and understand this is in fact, Tyson and his prime. Enjoy it while last eventually the wheels are going to come off, but another lady, another lady walking by me with like James, like James, like ankle high. This is wild. Oh, by the way, a site unseen, just from your description, I'll tell you right now,

both of them make dick slappingly good potato salad. Do they all have large bags as they're're walking in but the bags are like on their elbow not their shoulder i got to see him again let me know if their hair looks freshly wet from a shower and then they just fucking tossed on a good sweatshirt and jeans go pick up some stuff for the kids also can be heads up for anybody pose a cigarette of a soft pack inside of a change purse like colder. Ooh!

Let me also go to the scrunchy situation. I feel like there's a whole scrunchy possibility. I need to go to the word describing. Give me a pom-pom. You see you're wearing white sneakers of a brand you've never heard of. Yeah, dude, challenge athletics seems like a movie. As tech sport. A lot of shacks. A lot of shacks. As tech as tech sport

I don't know I just do you think Biden stumbles a lot Because he he can he fucks up in ways where you're like like a teacher that you want to retire They're like I'm sure you were granted this. Oh, I think you Trump's camp is like, yo, if this goes right, you can end this tonight. I bet they're making it like they can make he's probably got a way where he can there's a chance where Biden can fucking blow it in these debates. Really, just when people go, wait, I'm worried this guy's actually like not together right now. He's got so much to prove. He's got so much to prove. Anytime so Trump's biggest problem is he goes off the teleprompter and just starts running his fucking mouth. He first starts he goes off the problems. Biden's problem is when there's no teleprompter dude that guy is and it's a fox debate so the moderators

definitely didn't give Biden the questions like if it was CNN they would have gave him the questions. Now it's like dude I mean this is Trump this is a home game yeah this is coming in week one death value college game down there. Kirk Herbstriekes in the audience. Because we'll come in to your sit-day. It's freestyle wise. I mean, Trump can ramble better than it. He does the little kid caught looking for words for his speech. We go, I was going and then I didn't even know.

And then you were coming over here, but I didn't. And you were bad. And Biden just straight up just gets caught like a fucking like a scratch CD. Or he's like, I'm like, oh, it's tonight gonna be the first time ever. It's I don't even think last year. He's gonna be the first time ever in a debate

that like one guy's gonna call the other guy names. Like he's gonna fucking call him Sleepy Joe and shit. Like, it was face-to-face. He's gonna hit him with the like if Biden comes out swinging trump trump will be like you're awake tonight that's pretty good right so i mean like shit like that that's just not like it's crazy do you think they're the only

the only thing yeah first off i was i should have been hired by democrats to teach him how to fucking i know the techniques you could have been his bully is his bully, Mr. Miyagi. Biden needs to just go, dude, you're obsessed with me. Yeah. By the way, Shane, I told Katie that I used the Shaneism on Twitter.

A guy was just like repeatedly being like, dude, so, sucks, this guy sucks, and I go, dude, you're so obsessed with me. I'm pretty good with you. You know, huh? And it's immediately turned around and goes, oh, listen, I think you're fine. It's just like, oh, I was just like,

you know, I'm so, all credit is due to Billy McCusco, by the way. It's, I would like to think that both Biden and Trump are just in the same room ripping lines of Adderall, and they're like, you ready to give them a show? Of course I do. You know Joe, these poor people have no idea that we're friends. He's like, I know and I'm excited.

Let's fucking go. Dude, my friend this morning sent me Trump talking about Rosio Donald. There's a, it's from entertainment tonight like 15 years ago, but they clearly, it's like the extended cut where they were like, we just need to get you saying something fucked up about Rosie O'Donnell. So it's just two minutes straight of different cuts of him being like, you know,

I'd actually like to take money out of a fat ass pockets. He's like, she's disgusting on the outside and the inside, she's a complete loser. I remember the outside and the inside line. Yeah, dude. That's the one I think they went with. That was the those were the bars. He could have like a fat cow at some point. So like that. That was that was his first like real.

That was his first slip in the complete disaster. Yeah, yeah. Complete disaster. Yeah, there are ways of just staying in there. He just hits, he's got body shots. He's got the problems. And the problem is you look at Rosie O'Donnell and you look at her, you go,

you see what he's saying. I get, it's like, you know, it's like, sure, if we're gonna be not superficial about this, he's being a dick, but I mean, you know, he's drilling or he's drilling. Be honest. To be honest, I think that was the first, you know, a lot of people think

about the sweet science. That was the first time you saw Trump really counter and throw them back. It was one of the early debates, Megan Kelly was like, you referred to women as slabs and dogs. Only Rosie O'Donnell plays goes not so. This is going to be trouble. Yeah. How would you as if you were Biden's, if you were Biden's bully coach, how would you have him? Because you know the dawn, you know what the dawn uses, you know his style. How would you, how would you have him slip one of the dawn's upper body blows or upper

cuts? God. I don't know. There's, this is a tough one. Do you think you would find the line has movement? Does he add, that's the question. Does he attack the, the New York Times article about his tax returns?

Does he go after like his money? Because I feel like if you go after Trump's money, that's what he's built. Well, he answered the tax, he answered the taxes thing. He was like, they were like, he only paid $750 in taxes. He's like, hello, me. Well, they're gonna bring that up and Trump's just gonna say, no. He's just gonna be like, that's not true. I pay millions.

And that's it. That's the end of it. But also, Dan, to answer your question, if I'm coaching Biden tonight, it's just gotta be in a phone booth, dude. There's no talking. You're giving him the Creed 2 training where he stands in the tire and just fucking exchanges blows. Just fucking. Yeah, he's just got to take blows. There's you guys take him and give him. Yeah. And what's weird is it's an interesting debate to talk about, but people are so fucking

invested now, one way or the other, but they hear the word and then they hear the rest of the conversation of like, oh, you're a fan of them. I know. I posted on Twitter, I was like, Trump, Trump minus a thousand tonight. Yeah. So many people are like, this guy's a fucking loser ever since he got five from that's it. Oh This is a funny Dude just a come out with a stat like I think it's gonna be a a debate though of like constant crowd playing

It's like oh this guy This guy's a Finis is fucking real hair my right. Oh I should be total crowd playing tonight if he if Biden couldn't if as soon as his fucking real hair my right oh it ice i think total crowd playing tonight if he if biden couldn't if biden or trump couldn't have hired shame they should have hired stone cold just to get it those problems like i'm a problem where he's like

i kind of i'm over here wonder why your tax return says that you didn't give a damn dime towards the united states government what and that's the bottom line. That's actually, I think that's actually right. That would be one way to be Trump is if you went nuts on him and you kept like, I'm not going to let this go. I'm going to scream at you for not paying taxes. Well, the problem is nobody will get in the dirt with him.

Yeah. Like, nobody going out and we'll get the dirt. So he'll do it. And it's like Joe, but unfortunately, it does signify like the downfall of society somehow to me in my mind, but it would, but Biden would be better to go out there and be like, this guy had sex with prostitutes and got peed on. This guy got, you know, he banks porn stars. And all of a sudden, it goes, this guy's just like a slob of a do like put him back on TV Yeah, but you know TV and let's like let's look let's get back to being a country United again

But you can go but no one will get slugged out with him like that He's just gonna be like I'm not gonna sink to those levels But I mean he's his people going like we're gonna vote for you Mr. Biden Trump's like People are leaving there with jerseys I thought he was the Biden Trump's like, FUN! People are leaving there with jerseys and shit. You know, a merch table. Who's Trump?

Trump's a guy. They love him. Trump's 69. Off-brands, Trump's 69 jersey. They asked about him, I, because Trump he said so. He goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, get, dude, if they start talking shit like that, Trump will be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. You're like, fucked kids. They got, they'll just have stuff with you. Like, you've cheated on your taxes for 30 years. We talked about it at a dinner in 1995.

Yeah. What the fuck do you do? I think it's like, or I think it's like the, or I think it's like the mate amazing, like, come back of like, you know, I mean, they're gonna bring something up or out like that no one knows yet information. You know, they're gonna have something on Trump that's just like a crazy like and by the way we did get our hands on ledgers from whatever or, you know, Gilae Maxwell did speak and say that you were on that island with kids and whatever about but Trump, you know, I mean, I hung out with the staff. Oh, yeah. That's the rumor. Also, I think it was, I think it was verified in like a transfer. Did you know I was there?

The staff member was like, Trump would gum, but he would just eat dinner with us. I don't like kids, I don't like being around him. You have a mouth there. Trump, you know, you could fuck these kids. I don't want to be around them at all. I don't like them. I don't like them. I can laugh. They're loud. They're always running around with like the subs. Well, are we in, are we in the kind of a state where there won't be a winner?

It's just going to be each side is both loudly saying they won. Like is this, is there, is there an ability in the current way that like everything is with social media and these like you know you can get into an information silo where you just hear the same the shit you want to hear is there a way for someone to win this debate tonight I think that's my question I don't know I look either way they're getting CNN's gonna be like wow Joe Biden was impressive tonight he exceeded every expectation he did great he hung in then then Fox will just be like wow I can't believe Joe Biden's fucking yeah

so the flat what or what if we're just blown away and Joe Biden does fall asleep that's one of the bad shit the best way is this it all we're talking about it after but it's already happened so the happened. So the world could be a whole different place right now. Shane, does he only save in grace, I think Biden might have, is there's no audience, which I think there's going to be a hundred. I think there's going to be a hundred people. That's all Trump needs. He's a road dog.

He's a road dog. That's a Thursday night at a funny bone for him. He's not worried about it. He's been doing Albany. There's a hundred people. Yeah. I believe. Oh, yeah, he's gonna rip. He's gonna rip, dude. You can be doing crowd work early. That's a really funny thing, too. He comes in, because Trump, how do you think it went? He's I ripped. I'll be selling T shirts after T shirts. I have these T shirts here that are one of my punch lines. Oh, Joe, you're awake tonight shirts.

There's definitely locker up T shirts. He definitely sells phrase merch. Really? My favorite piece of merch that I ever saw online of Trump fans was like, I was wearing a shirt that said, I would rather be a Russian than a Democrat. I don't know, it's like, and then a bunch of people on the left who like see, and it's like, dude, I don't think anybody likes Trump I think they hate everybody that hates him that much yes like dude a part of me for real would I'm gonna laugh if Trump wins I will laugh I'm not gonna fucking cry I'll be like ah because I'm thinking of all the people that hate me yeah being sad and I think

happy and I think that's I think that's your're hitting on like the thing that I've even heard on the news where they're like, they don't care if you have Trump on tape saying he's down to the virus. They're like, they just really, they hate the people, they hate the people that hate Trump. That's just who they're after. They're just like, you hate Trump, fuck you, I hate you.

If it's funny, I hate the people who have that strong emotional, personal emotion towards them either side. I hate the people who have that strong emotional personal emotion towards them either side. I hate to people who hate Trump. I hate to people who fucking like the basket case who goes and pours paint all over the black lives matter sun, you're just like, lady. I don't fucking like it together.

I will say this. I do have a bit of, probably because we're on from, but I definitely have a soft spot for somebody that's just unabashedly is like yo Trump rules So about it like if somebody came up it was like Kamala Harris rules. I'd be like fucking beat it dork But if I was like yo Trump Yo take it easy, but hell yeah hilarious, but

Hello everybody. I'm DJ Lou and on this week's quarantine loss tapes We have our old brother the very funny Andy Merck face Fury and big J realizes right away that Andy looks a lot like the cult leader from the vowel The HBO documentary about that dipshed who takes over people's minds and teaches them midnight volleyball I didn't think of it until this moment that you look like Keith from the vowel Wait, which one's bring up Keith. I'm the main guy. I don't want to watch that shit. I guess I kind of do, don't I? Should I get into the vow? Fargo just started. I got a catch up on that. I told you you should get into

the vow. I told you this. I just got in this. You wrong, damn. Shaved in with the beard. It kind of has the old butt cut that I used to rock. Sex, cult. Glasses. Sex, cult, sex, cult, and... Sex, cult, and Andy. Sex, cult, and Andy. I do love volleyball.

Oh, I believe you. Why does this guy play a ton of volleyball? Dude, it's so much fun. It's one of the things, it's one of the things for some reason. One of gazillion reasons I would never follow this dweebus. He tries to give us everybody that we have to get together and play midnight volleyball. I would all friday go, I'll do it all calm,

but we have to make it basketball, and the chicks gotta just watch. And then anything goes, no, it's gotta be everyone playing a significant queer for your sport. And then I would be like, dude, I like everything else. I'm into the branding. I want to fuck chicks. I want to fuck you. You seem like a good dude. But I'm out, dude, this is ridiculous. And because no, no, it's pretty fun. We're gonna play five on

five and we're gonna go to 21 and we're gonna have classic beach volleyball rules. No, I'm like, no, I can't do it, dude. I need to show these girls. I gotta show how I I can do my cut my crossover and No one ever talks about how cults lose people on the small stuff like the paperwork or the events they want to do Style like yeah, I don't look good in a one piece anything So I yeah, like tell it tell it heaven's gate. You're like so we we got all where the same sneakers. I just don't know I like

It's like do black sneakers make my feet look fat But that's when you're less than to heaven Yeah, but here's the thing to do I hear you I do clear But I gotta tell you this is that like my small ankles are one of my saving graces on my big fat body So let me just say I can't have I can't be I can't be found with like oh my god There's this old man. Oh, and a guy with cancels. I can't I don't want to be identified like this. Just telling Koresh You don't want to I feel like you're under arrest. Yeah, I feel like you could play some volleyball bro No, buddy listen, I could definitely play some

I'm just saying I don't want to play volleyball. I want to go I'm just saying I don't want to play volleyball. I want to go. Why volleyball's fun. Keith, I'll join your goal. I'm not going to play volleyball. I get any of the chicks in the whole thing. It's great. All these dipshit fucking Canadian actresses.

Yeah, dude. He's walking around with his stupid volleyball knee pads on. Oh, I hid. Oh, Canadian actresses are the dumbest women in history. Well, we found out too about these Canadian actresses. Yeah. The second crop, there was an older crop of woman that got weeded out about nine years ago. And this is just the new young crop of the new season of Battlestar Galactica for some reason. They were all on that show. Yeah, the whole cast of Battlestar Galactica came to bang

No one cared except for the inner roommate Yeah, I was like oh wow Battlestar Galactica, you're like cool. We get it It was just one of the show. You imagine of all the things Christine knows nothing about In reference wise she said one time she was oh, I remember that person was on Battlestar Galactica Like want this is years ago. I don't know about I go what she goes. Oh, oh, I mean, that person was on battle star galactica. Like one, this is years ago. I don't know about, I go, what she goes, oh, yeah, I love that show. Like battle star galactica. You love battle star galactica? That's one of the shows you were into.

Yo, man, people are fucking into it. You gotta understand battle star galactica had a fan base that would like, I feel like beat up star tracks. Fucking fan base battle star. People were into it, dude. I'm not talking about the one we were kids kids I'm talking about the newer one reboot. Oh fucking awesome of the re I'm talking about the original Oh, no, this is new. These girls are aren't these are younger girls. They were in battle circle act together the newer one and they are Doltz. I mean front to back

Going on Jacobs and love with one of them and I I go, do feel better about yourself, Jacob, and don't. You could do better than a girl who decided to marry another cult member who we have to refer to as nippy. Nippy, don't. Don't. He's an adult. What?

He's a fucking adult. He's more on. They're all on. I feel like I'm going to go on. They're all fucking, they're all such dummies. You know what what this guy was relying on the idea that these fucking knitwits when they realize they're in a cult They feel so stupid and they go to stupid that they're not even gonna tell the world because they're gonna be like I'm just gonna get stuck out of here and instead they go we're telling the world and you're just like you're just telling a story of you being Moronic they're all the highest level. It's so stupid. And I go you're so brave to tell the story like you're not brave at all

So you're idiot for doing it Fucking shit head. Oh, hey, you guys want to go come over get branded and call somebody a master and and And you have to call them for everything you do You got to go master, I just woke up. May I brush my teeth, master? Master can I have breakfast please? Can I have anything for breakfast? Of course, man.

Hey, could you like the one that was on Smallville? Was that the one you like? Alison Mack? No, no, that's... She was Battle Star Galactica. No, that's Chris. Chris? They really infected the set of BG.

I thought that was going to be your new term for hot girls. You go, dude, she's total battle star galactica. She's so gorgeous. She doesn't even know it. Every time this one girl refers to her husband, Nippy, like we say, Dan and Jay makes my blood boil. It makes my boy. What does she do? I'll tell you what the point is. So casually is, and I can't take them seriously at all

because they're trying to like, you know, deprogram these other people. Yeah, by the way, he seems to be worried about Nippy. His name's Nippy. Let me tell you something. Only a person named Nippy would be there when he was like, hey, Han,

I think I joined a sex cult today and I got branded by another guy's initials. Will you support me in trying to leave? You, I can't have children with somebody this f***ing Why is his name Nippy? No, this never acknowledged! Great question. Nick names, just what he's called.

Because Nippy's a name where it can sound good. His name's not Nipolis. Nipolis. Nipio. Frank, the tool. Nipio, oh Nipio name's not Nipolas. Nipolas. Nipial. Frank's the tool. Nipuel. Oh, Nipuel. Yeah, it's a

I want to know. Nipathon. With Nipolaser. Nipathon is Nipathon is hilarious. Oh, Nipathon's my father. Please call me Nipy. Yeah, I don't think I'm Nipy. Oh, yeah, they call him Nipy and is, nipithin is hilarious. Oh, nipithin's my father, please call me nippy. Yeah, I don't know if I can have nippy. Oh, yeah, they call him nippy, and with no explanation why,

and she has to go back and say it, and it's like, and then we have me and nippy have to take on this big stupid company. It is not a big, this guy, you're, I got it, there I say, and when I say you're a child, you deserve what happens to you being in this fucking cult. You deserve to be in a seven-way relationship with a fucking shithead who loves, uh, I'm sorry, you're my sandy, who likes that fucking jag-off supportive ball, midnight volleyball.

Hey, it's Black Lou again. Communion and new mom Rachel Feinstein talked about being a parent with Big Jay and Dan and reminisced about the job their own parents did raising them. This old segment goes to show you that minority parents are strict as shit. Rachel and I are on opposite ends of the rainbow of child raising in age wise. Rachel has a newborn and Isabella is gonna be 18 in two weeks and has, it sucks. It's so many ways, it's great. It's great because you know, she's becoming an adult and like her personality, I love

and hanging out with her in that regard. But she asked for the first thing that I've been like, I don't know, she wants for her birthday when she's 18 officially, to do an Airbnb with her friends. Like a night like a thing that she sent me the Airbnb and it's like a party house clearly. And it's just one of those things where you're like, oh man, like I'm thinking myself at 18, I'm like, I know what happened.

I know what happened that those let's all stay over there places and you're like, man, I know. I'm on sucks. Oh, and I knew you in those old days when you were just slamming Puzz. over there places and you're like, man, I'm on sucks. And I knew you in those old days when you were just slammin' puss, excuse me, how regretting that? And I'll see myself out. Yeah, you're just, what I was saying was rain and box on me.

Well, from a parent's perspective, would they ask, would she ask you like, hey, I've got this awesome, did she do it in the tone when you're asking me to stay over to friends? Nope, nope, not at all. Pretty sweet if you let us stay here. Did she call it a study house? No, here's what happened.

She smells the past whore all over Christine. So she appealed to her first and was like, Christine, you're probably a, you're probably a bag who did shit like this when you were a child. And it seems like, um, yeah, but you probably should talk to your father. Well, no, she asked her mom and me first to kind of, I think buttered Jay up because Jason, immediate response was like, oh, hell no. Yeah. I think I compared to me. I was living on my own at 18, but I'm like, this is the age kids like after prom, they get a house together, graduation. I'm like, at the age that this happens. So it's funny because I moved to New York at 17

with a guy in his band called Dick Sister. Is that real? Oh my God. 17, yes. Dick Sister came to pick me up in a van, and my parents were so liberal that my mom is just like on the front lawn in a disheaky. Like sounds fantastic.

No follow up questions. I just left with a band called Big Sister. You know what's funny is everyone always shits on like super like a hillbilly conservative families you know that are just like whatever get again you're old enough to hunt for yourself. You don't think about the far left where they're like that's a a real good soul cleansing idea. And you're like, that's a terrible idea. You know how your daughter moved to fucking New York at 17 years old? I know. She should have had a follow-up question. She was just on the front line like, sounds fantastic. What a bloom feminist, my daughter is. I'm like,

this is not okay. I love that so much. She's like, yeah, because where's Rachel? It's Yum Kapoor. She left with Dick's sister. Yeah, we think she's living somewhere on the lower east side in a flat that used to just be a heroin hangout. That's exactly what I was doing. Exactly. Oh, we think Rachel sleeps on the floor now.

Like that. How exciting. But they're like how exciting. Oh my god, just what I'm sure. What a vivacious life. There was never any question about going to college or anything. They were just like fantastic.

I love it. My mom was waving. My mom was my mom was white knuckle in that middle class. She was like, dude, go to fucking college. Go to college. Sorry. You got to fucking do. How are you?

How are you? You started comedy right? Sure. I was like 21. I love college. It's all you gotta fucking do. Tell over, how are you gonna start a comedy, Rachel? I was like 21, I think around 21, but I was living with Dick's sister for a while first. She kept dumping me the head of the head, the lead singer. I'm not named drop, but he was. So we got a new thing, aren't we? Yeah, if you're gonna uproot life, it's gotta be for the singer at very worst, the guitars.

And he dumped me and then kind of undumped me and take me back. It was so sad. Like I would leave and have to find a new friend to stay with in New York and then he'd be like, all right, I guess you're not dumped. You can come back to Dick's sister. How old are they? How old is he?

How old is he? He was like five years older than me. It was probably illegal. Now the way he's rolled down memory lane. Also, if you're his roommate and you're just like, it was probably illegal. Now that I scrolled down memory lane. If I also, if you're his roommate, and you're just like, hey, cool man. And he goes, so I'm in this bandit system.

I go from Rachel, and then you go to the bathroom. I go, hey man, how old is Rachel? Then he goes to 17. And he go, yeah, that's not gonna fly here. He goes, it is here in New York. It's legal here, buddy. That's where we moved. Hey, I'm gonna have so many 17 year gonna fly here. It is here in New York. It's legal here, buddy. That's where we moved. Hey, I'm gonna have so many 17 year olds over here.

And you know, no, that's not. I can't live with you. Nobody asked any follow up questions and dick sister. It was just four guys with blow all over their nose. Oh, man. And then you're just 17 full of life. You don't need Coke. I thought I loved him so much.

I was like, if I can just hook my wagon onto his, I'll beat, I was all I wanted was just to be dick sisters, girlfriend. So each dumping and undumping was so painful for me. Where did you? Where did you roller coaster? Have you followed? Yeah, where's the sister now?

Have you put a tab on them? You know, I've talked about this before on podcasts and people have like tagged me in old dick sister flyers and stuff like that, but they did break up because he sent me an email when I was on last comic standing asking to get coffee. I never want to get coffee with you. But technically either. Because dick sister broke up after you guys broke up, you didn't Yoko dick sister. I was kind of the Yoko because the band hated me.

They wanted me out of the house and ultimately with my final dumping, the one that took, like that's the one where I realized it was real. And my dad had to come back up to New York and the grocery getter and like move me out and help me find an apartment. It was dark. That final one, they were all like, yeah, let's get the band back. I was holding them back. They never tried. They wanted her jam after you got kicked out.

They wanted to felt like jamming. Did they try, did they try, why would they, do they not like use it? Did they try to group you and you were like, no, I'm with the dick sister. No, I went on, I went on tour with them once, which just consisted of like two dive bars in Michigan. I think I remember being in the bathroom on tour at like some place we were staying and the guys were like, dude, you gotta let her go, dude, she's holding us back. It's not a cool vibe, bro. She's not allowed into the places we perform.

Yeah, we can't see rated our movies until next week. I can't have her go get me a pack of smokes. I want a pack of smokes and she can't get the word for me. Well, the irony be if Isabella, if we say we can't, she can't do this Airbnb and she goes, fine, that I'm leaving with Dick sister. What? They're back. The van's outside.

The van. Get in. Isabella. That's always the challenge, right? How do you say no just enough so that they don't turn into a godless whore? It's such a, the math is so tricky. I agree. That's what I'm the math is so tricky. I agree.

That's what I'm working on. I'm actually, to some degree, I'm probably gonna let her do this. I'm not paying for necessarily. And I'm gonna talk to her and tell her how much I'm taking her word for here. And it is what it is ultimately, but I'm certainly not paying for it.

And I'm definitely not the parent that's like, I know what you guys are. So I'm going to get you some booze so you can do this. And that's like, man, you know, it's my mom, my mom teeter, that line real close. She was the line. Yeah. She didn't want to be the lady that bought booze, but she definitely let that shit go. Yeah. You, as you go, like, hey, uh,

you and fucking far box, I'm gonna come over and rip a few tall boys and watch the game. Not at all. It was shout out to Joey Owens. It was Joey Owens came over and me and him drank cranberry vodka with Barton's vodka. My mom's like, I got some shit vodka you guys can have. It's not that I love Trish. Yeah. She should not teach parenting classes. No, but she got she got it through. If you look at parenting like an investment, Trish got a fucking 2013 forerunner out of this whole fucking investment. I could see Trish just smoking

Virginia slims in the back, like let in the boys, be the boys. She didn't, she quit smoking, but she would have, she would have a drink, and then she'd come out and she'd be like, hey guys, all right, W2L out, we could get high in the garage. Really? Yeah, that was like where we'd get stoned, isn't the garage.

The fact that Dan did not become a member of Motley Crew is beyond me. Oh man, we had the bone phone, and then we just smoke fucking, we do, when she wasn't there, she wasn't there most of the day. Colorado high school, you get out at like fucking 12, 30 or 1 o'clock, that's why I don't know proper words. But we would go do gravity bomb hits in my garage and it would just be like six or seven

kids just stoned off their ass. Hey, it's Big J. O'Grasson and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. in my garage and it would just be like six or seven kids just stoned off their ass. Hey, it's Big J. O'Grasson, and I hope you enjoyed this week's best of the Bonfire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 PM Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media

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