The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Pretty Woman Paco

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

Jay analyzes the videos of NSYNC in the years before Justin Timberlake ditched them. | Bobby discovers that NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani made rap videos for years before getting into politics. | The guys go through all of Eddie Murphy's wives and wonder what was really going on when he was caught with a trans prostitute. Bobby thinks Paco is beautiful and wants him to become a woman to work for him full-time as his lover and podcast producer. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Man, the 90s, the mid-song rap did not have to be good. The mid-song rap did not have. In fact, when it was like somebody who ended up doing a good one, they were coveted. Those songs were so coveted. Black Street, Dr. Dre comes in, does a verse. That feels good. what's another

Nelly Nellie bangs out a goodie on Is it girlfriend Bring it up, Lou Girlfriend by In Sync, I want to say Insync and Nelly They started putting

Some good raps into some of the R&B songs It would come and get a good cameo But that thing in Tony Tony Tony's song stinks Is it with Nelly? Yeah, I think it's with Nelly Oh man this song right here bobby you think i wouldn't be do you think i wouldn't be shower dancing this one

i like his baby band-aid on his face i know it was his thing it was his wallet chain i do like that you should do that go on how man this is right before just and tibber like left them all right oh absolutely they were like hey before cry me a river you think the rest of the guys would Hey, J.T., they're really featuring you a lot in the video. Is that like anything, like particular? He goes, I don't know, man. This is, I'm like just JT. Oh, I don't know, man.

They just asked me to do this verse, so I don't know. They're going to be doing that skank soon, just featuring you. Yee-ba-booping, beep-pop-booping. They're literally not even in the song. Yeah, they're background of the video. They're background with the crowd. They're not by themselves. They're like with other background actors.

I know. They're like, J.T., you'd be out there with Nellie, and the rest of these shitheads will be in the background act. We're only going to pay them day rate. They've got day rate for the shoot. Now they're all dancing on cars where you can see where they are in the business through the car they're on. Oh, fuck, dude. Lance Bass is on a Dodge Dart. Chris Kirkpatrick is on a fucking Chevy Nova.

Oh, J.C. Shazez was on a bicycle. I forgot J.C. Shazez was in the band until he just showed him. Skim-skap-a-d-team-a-boo. Oh, look at Nellie. He didn't know they were going to become long-time best friends. And then Nellie would call the rest of Insync, those other white dudes. I love J.T. and them other white dudes? It was cool.

Who's the, who's the goofy-looking one? What was his name? Who? With the stupid... Dreadlocks and all that shit? Yeah. That's Chris Kirkpatrick. Boo.

Yeah. But he had cut his things off by this point. And then nobody was interested. Yeah, but nobody told them, hey, grow the full goatee. Half-go-tee looks stupid. Oh, yeah, just chin shit? Oh, it looks dumb. Yeah.

Unless you're making, you know, custom choppers. Or evil magic. Yeah, evil magic, yeah. I'll accept evil magic also. Yeah, what... You know I love by Joey Fetone? He wasn't even upset. Everyone else in the band, I bet, was going, like, why are they shoving JTF funny?

He's like, guys, we're all getting money, and we're all getting pussy, dude. fine. You can always tell you the fat one in the band when they give you the scally cap, no offense, Lou. Oh, yeah. Well, also when your last name spells the words fat one, that's a big thing too. Yeah, everybody else has cool hats, and he

has a paper boy hat on because he's too fat for a cool hat. Now, Justin always looks like he had like a hair lip, doesn't it? Well, yeah. I mean, the guy's got a perfect shaped cock sucker, if you know what I mean? Like, I can really

Justin Dearby like definitely has a fuckable mouth It's funny Justin is the only one racing Absolutely The other guys are cheering him on The rest of the guys have to dance on fucking Volkswagen bugs This stinks Oh they're clapping for him What a...

Yay JT, do it We have to get Joey Fetone on the show I bet he'd be Tell some great stories Is JT just passing us right on by Yeah Bye JT Bye JT

he's like oh wait he's like guys wait a second i forgot nelly he comes back for nelly he comes back goes guys i couldn't leave until i remembered i forgot nelly get over here nelly buy j c shazez i mean joey fatonin's sinking so funny to look back on that my premium blend and afterwards he was friends with jamie kennedy and after who was hosting and afterwards he went funny It was, yeah, it was pretty big Jamie Kennedy

took the red pill You watch his videos lately? What did he go off on? He just did Story Wars not long ago He's all red pill, man He's all fucking What does red pill mean? Is that the Matrix or the not the Matrix?

Yeah, which one is it? It's a Republican That's knowing, that's knowing That's what he's all like, Red Pills, you know the truth And the truth is Republican? And the truth is Republican? yeah he's he's definitely uh blue pill means uh you're just happy to be in the matrix

and maybe you can teach yourself how to fly we kept our colors who who the fuck who the hell would have picked to know the truth when you find out what the matrix is and you find out when you're in it you could fly around and do whatever you fucking want and walk through walls and no karate just by thinking you know karate why in god's name would you not choose that Thank you, Morpheus, for teaching me how to conquer all of this. See you on the other side, bro. Enjoy fighting robot octopuses that fly through weird space. Yeah, enjoy wearing shitty potato sacks.

Yeah, exactly. Having all kinds of nuggets on the back of your neck that plug into shit. Oh, my God. Those people deserved Zion. Remember Zion, that big old fuck fest that they had inside Robot World? Everybody stank. There wasn't a shower in sight. But they deserve it.

It should be a fuck fest going on there. These people chose to not... They have the information that if they plug back... in they can fly yeah and have steak whenever they want whenever they want and wear cool leather clothes and just no karate just because you go i know karate and they go yes you do now you know karate yeah but you can dodge bullets you can you can actually walk sideways down a wall while people shoot at you i know you could fuck a woman with the speed that would make smoke come out of her sniz you can have an old black woman make you the best chocolate chip cookies you've ever

You really could and then tell you your future and you're not the one. Yeah, and by the way, whatever future she tells you're going to have, you can make sure you have because you're in the Matrix and you know it. What a better choice. Can I ask you a question? Is it true there's the Matrix and the Terminator are written or are joined? Is that a thing like it's like the writer who wrote both of them both? The Matrix is after the Terminator? I don't think so.

I think I heard her say that. One of the sisters? The writer. The sister brothers? No, they're the directors. The writer of it. Right. It's like an old black woman.

Am I crazy? Is it an old black woman or a black man? Are you thinking of the actual Oracle? That was an old black woman in the movie. No, you're talking about the writers. The directors of the movie were they both transitioned. I know. They should have transitioned your last name.

Who's the writer? I don't care if you but brothers or sisters after it. It's just Washakowski sucks. Even for a trans girl? Yeah. Be the Smith brothers or sisters. What's her name? Sophia Stewart alleges that her 191

unpublished comic book, The Third Eye, contains the foundational stories for both the Terminator and the Matrix. Oh, okay. So she's just saying, like, I think there's a woman who was like, I thought of dystopian future. Right. Okay, there you go. Well, I saw some black lady, and she was like,

and she was explaining the Matrix and the Terminator. And you know me, I'll just fucking go into that hole. Yeah. And now that's truth. So that's why I asked and said it. Do you know we didn't? What is that noise? We didn't make out?

What is that? I don't know. Is that the building moving? Is that Jacob praying right now somewhere? Is Jacob praying? Did you God? What is that? It's just always this fucking place.

It's haunted. It's not making sounds at all times. Ugh. You know, we didn't watch. We did our, you know, full curtain pull here. We do our pre-record before this show. And you brought up that Zip-Zab-Zamb bar, Zanzibar, the guy running for mayor of New York.

Zip-Zab-Zanzibbar is running for mayor. And he's a socialist, aka communist. But you said former rapper. Now that's what's stoking me up here. He was a rapper. He's a socialist, which is funny because his mother is a big-time movie producer. He comes from rich. he's a rich guy he's sick of that but there was a time where he was a he had a rap career nice

and uh it's it's hard to find but he was uh he's like yeah what rhymes with free health care for everyone nothing mc zips zap mc zanzib bar but i also said he's bringing i want to vote for him now i wasn't but he's he wants to make prostitution legal and you're voting for him solely for that a hundred percent that would just be fantastic and it's not for me because i don't want to do it no it's for the younger generation so they can enjoy themselves like amsterdam i would love for new york I'm Amsterdam, because you know what its original name was. What? New Amsterdam.

Here. Yeah, you know who we bought Manhattan off of. Amsterdam. The Dutch. Oh, did you not want me to answer? You asked the question. Sorry, Amsterdam. Yeah.

When I did answer, you got mad at me. Well, because you said Amsterdam. I didn't like it. It's the Dutch. Who live in... Amsterdam? Amsterdam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. We did good. Does this hit? Yeah. For in 2019, he made a rap video? That's not. That's too close. That's too close.

This is not, this is another vet wrap video. I didn't see this one. The one I saw, he actually, it was a produced video. He was in, like, you know, all that Indian stuff. Bollywood. Yeah, that type of weird. Did he do this, the thing with his head? He did that a few times.

Yeah. I'd vote for him just for that. If you could really do that. If you teach me, I don't know, your head sliding across your shoulders. People are wondering why. why he is he smiles and talks and says he looks like a fantastic guy does he when he talks i don't even know what he looks like and i mean that that's how little i pay attention to politics he when he talks he makes everything sound beautiful oh really i just heard that flim flam farcajean

is a uh is a communist that he keeps saying that's what trump keeps calling me says he's a communist he doesn't like him hates him he dudes he's socialist he's democrat he more than a democrat He's a communist. Bernie AOC socialist. They want everybody to be everybody. They want everybody to be on an equal playing field. They want to tax the rich. And what happens with that, especially in New York City, they're going to drive out the rich.

They're all going to go to Florida and Austin. And this place will become a little fucked up is what people think. He wants to get, he wants to watch a woman with a shitty ass take a piss today. Well, he wants to defund the police a little bit and add a little bit a little bit and give, he wants to get like therapists in there. He doesn't think that, like, in a crazy situation, adding an alpha male with a gun makes it worse. Sure.

So add an old Jewish guy with a tie. Yeah, maybe a beta with a gun. Right, beta, no gun. Give me your gun. Here. Here. Christine, let me see this guy spit. So right now he's wearing an apron and went a no shirt underneath it, so it feels political.

Yeah, they play this on CNN, apparently, too. This is a rap video from 2019. Yeah, he goes by Mr. Carlin. I don't dislike the beat he's in a right now he's in a falafel stand oh here we go oh that's so much white sauce why is this guy running for mayor I mean it's really like come on this is six years ago he this is six years ago they dude AOC is uh was a bartender and they plucked her they handpicked her It's a bad idea, too. And then they put a million dollars behind them, and there you go.

You put bartending. There's something like supporting yourself financially to do something else. This guy, this is his dream, and he's living his dream because his parents are rich, and he's able to film himself doing this horse shit. Plucking a bartender out of security to make her a politician is all so stupid as shit. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's not even like she did any grassroots shit helping your community. She had her tities out, and she was getting tips.

What? Also, everybody hates her and like, she's just like the punch. I've never heard of a thing where it's like AOC was actually able to push this program through and got something that's not maybe. I'm not saying that doesn't happen. I'm saying whenever you hear the name, it's just like this dumbbell or she's hot. She's hot. She's smoking hot. Is this one you sell Bobby?

This is the one I saw right here. Give me some of this. This is him, I think, in India. What the fuck is happening? It's just, someone made this. Yeah. It is really hard to find these. I don't want the, I don't want the him in a suit.

I don't want to go in a suit as mayor, but I would like that second rap video guy as mayor for sure. Yeah, they're scrubbing all this shit. They're scrubbing everything. But TikTok has it all. You can't find anything from AOC from back in the day, too. There was a video I watched when they were picking her, you know, they were picking their candidate. Like the Democrats, the Republicans, the independents, the socialists. What is she in?

She's a. They pick the, they pick the person they want, who we want to run, right? So you can pick whoever you want. And there was video of them, this company, picking AOC and this other guy. And they were prepping her and vetting her and all that. And it was weird because they're kind of telling her, you know, hey, what do you believe?

Talk to us. So it's like she had audition to become this person. Whatever you believe, a Blanco? And then that video's gone. I can't find that video. Really? Yeah, it's gone. It was like a documentary on how they picked this person.

I mean, they just pick people. they put it this guy has so much money behind him right now it's ridiculous all that indian hip hop cash nope oh no it's from uh i assumed he was a sensation over there no he wasn't that that you think if that took off he'd be doing this um his past rap like why is he in this place why is he's going to make new york good does he think the place he's in this video is good i'm going to make new york like this open air markets monkey assistants all kinds of crazy shit i would think he's going to Take a monkey assistant. I would love a monkey assistant.

A little monkey with a little tiny flip phone. Oh, wearing a fez? Yeah, just took all my calls. Dude, I would love to have a monkey. A monkey wearing a fez on my shoulder would be great. I love a fez. Damn, that would be nice. It's, uh, I don't know, dude.

It's weird. I'm going to vote for him twice. Can you do that? Did you ever see the movie with Eddie Murphy where he was, uh... Distinguished gentleman? Golden Child. No. Distinguish gentlemen.

Golden Child. Well, that is a movie with Eddie Murphy. I know. He answered before you said anything else. I was putting together, we're talking about a political figure. And a guy who doesn't belong in politics, that that would probably be the film The Distinguished Gentleman. I'm talking about Indians. Ah, yes.

I can see where he's going. Okay. You're back in the game. Yeah, that movie was pretty much politics. They vote for the same guy. They'll just vote. They vote for the same guy, the same woman gets voted in every time no matter what. hard to get somebody out.

That movie, is it funny when things why they stick with you? I thought that movie overall was pretty shitty. I thought it was pretty shitty, but I kind of liked it. Again, it was a time when like, whatever came out, you were watching when it came to the video store. It was him. You ordered it. And especially Eddie Murphy movie

when it came out, you were renting it. I'm sorry, my favorite line from the movie where he goes, we're going to the place where the streets are paved with gold. And the Spanish guy goes, Los Vegas? He goes, No, no, Las Vegas. I was stuck with me. What got me, the one that stuck with me was there

was just the, it's such a funny thing about my personality, too, what got me. It was calling, I think it was the guy who was the dad and son-in-law. I forget his name, but he was distinguished gentleman. He was one of someone who hated Eddie Murphy's character. And he goes, somebody goes, these guys, they got us by the short and curleys right now.

And he's just hearing at that age, that term, for dick hair or ball hair, I was like, that's in the arsenal forever now. Who was the... The short and curleys. Who was the guy? Who was the guy? What's...

Him? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember he was like one of the ugliest actors that was in everything. Oh, they go, we need somebody with jowls to be angry. And they go, I got the guy. What's his name? Jerry Orbach died, so they had to get this guy. He's in my cousin Vinny, too, right?

Yes. Yeah, man, he is just ugly. He's like fish. Remember fish? Abe Fagoda? Gabe Vigota was ugly, just ugly, man. Just a... crazy long face

but yeah that guy dad from son-in-law he said short and curly's but there's four names down here I'm just not sure I mean I'll tell you in a second nope I don't know at all it's shit

all right we know Cindy Pickett is oh it's Lane Smith it is his name's Lane yeah yuck you don't like Lane for an older gentleman like that now I kind of like Lane

he's been around for a long time he's just ugly Mighty Ducks judging, is he dead? He has to be dead. He was almost dead in this movie. This movie was what, 80? 80 something. Dying 2005.

He died in 2005? Distinguished gentleman? No, it was 90s. Was it 90s? Yeah. Wasn't like 89? Wasn't like end of 80s? I'll say 93.

That's my guess. You might be right. 92. 90 fucking 2. Yeah, that was like when Eddie Murphy movies were kind of dying. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. this is one you waited until it came on VHS.

And it's sad because he hasn't made, I mean, what was the last good movie, Nutty Professor? No, that wasn't good either. I thought Nutty Professor was great. It was okay. Dude, come on. He played, when he played all the characters, you weren't laughing? I was, for sure. It's a kid's a kid's movie.

Well, I, I, it was the beginning of him jumping into that kid's movie horseshit when he's just constantly going like, hey, can you make it so whenever you read the title of one of my movies, you kind of forget the fact that I fuck that tranny that one. time I mean he's been running from that ever again not even a scandal anymore isn't that funny like the timing of that like whatever he did because his excuse was so bad do you remember but didn't just gave her a ride home but but here's a thing if you look at it yeah he was trying to pick up a hooker sure got caught yeah and it wound up being a tranny he knew that how do you know he knew that because why look at them we're talking about you're going back to the fucking 90s too

This isn't like, no, no, no. This isn't now where there's doctors who make an entire fucking living out of sculpting faces to be less masculine and all that kind of shit. This is a... Here's why his last couple wives have looked very duty. Really? We have kids with Mel B. She's hot. But she's very masculine.

She is masculine, though. She's very masculine. She is. His type is masculine. So he could have been going down the street going, oh, there's a masculine. her and dude she doesn't look like a fucking tranny are you nuts go back let me see she looks like a chick if i was going down hollywood boulevard and i saw paco dressed as a girl like that you're looking at you're one looking at a go back up i just pictured i'm seeing i'm looking at it

goes scroll back up up further look at look grow up go up right there i mean he that's literally paco as a boy that's such a trans look at look at the one no no no go to the left one is that her that's her right over to the left oh way left she died a year later yeah well he had a killer oh yeah he definitely had to have her killed

but he kept her dick yeah that's all that's the only part he liked anyway yeah he kept it he actually stuffed it like a fucking raccoon he sits on it but there you go yeah this is a different time now but look at her she's not that does not look are you crazy that's not her that's his wife

I was trying to make this big yeah you can't see that looks like Paco it looks exactly like Paco. Wow. We know what Paco is going to look like as a woman. Yeah. I'll pay for Paco. Paco's crazy enough that we could say if we pay for it, we get him full on trans surgery. He'll do it. I'm going to take him on the road if he becomes a girl. Let's tell him that today. Yeah. I will. If he becomes a girl, I'll take him on a road for five years. But if it comes out like that, I'm going to want a head. Okay. I'm not head. I want a head and I want to snuggle. What?

I'm a snuggle with Paco. Damn, okay. He's going to still have a little fucking Asian pecker. Yeah, I'm going to keep that little hair above his belly button, too. The below one, not the both. Oh, the happy trail? The little happy trail. I want to keep that.

Oh, my Christ, all God. I just want to trim his bush fat into a lightning bolt right above his uncircumcised penis. Why wouldn't you want to do that? Eddie Murphy's, listen, it was better, more passable than I thought, but still, no. If you're driving down Sunset Boulevard, late at night, trying to get a hooker, and your type is masculine, and you see that, you hit the fucking jackpot. Now, he was going looking for it because Eddie Murphy doesn't need to get a fucking street walking hooker of anything. He was trying to keep a low-key trans hooker pick up. This guy can call escorts to his fucking house for a bazillion dollars.

Buddy, do you know the luck you have to have to drive around and pick up a unicorn trans hooker? You are giving too much credit for how much you want to have sex with this guy. I'm giving you too much information to how much I know. How hard it is to find a hot tranny on the streets? You think it's just, they just walk up in front of you out of nowhere? Yeah, dude. Most of the trans girls that are walking the streets back then look like Mike Yard. Absolutely.

And this girl's better than that. But if you got up on her at night, you tell you'd see the energy. That's a dude. The video of her talking. It's the talking. If she's like, hey, daddy, then I would understand. So Eddie Murphy's thing is, he didn't know. He was giving what he thought was a pretty girl a ride home.

So he wasn't trying to fuck her either. Can I get a ride to 7-Eleven over near Culver City? Yeah. Oh, you sound so familiar. Do you make movies? No. Oh, my God. You know I'm a woman, right?

Yeah. I'm kidding. Look, I'm a guy. Look at my cock. It don't matter. Oh shit, eh, eh, eh, eh, oh shit. Who's his? I don't know her.

They don't have video because she died a year later. They're not going to. There's no video yet. She's pretty cute. Are you crazy? She looks hot. Bobby. What?

You're going to have sex with a guy just to realize you do or don't love it. Let me ask you a question. You don't think she's, nighttime sunset, you see her. You're not going to be like, that's a girl, except for the hairy armpits and the Adam's apple. The cock bulge and a thick neck. And the fucking angry guy looks. She's giving everybody right now in that photo. Is this his wife?

One of them probably. Oh, yeah, doesn't he have like 15 kids? He's got a lot of kids, but his wife, his wives have always looked very masculine. Sexy, good-looking, but masculine. He's not wrong. They're very stern-looking women. Yeah. What if you just, all them with dudes?

It might be all of them are just dudes. Yeah, but I'll say one thing, and not to speak ill of the dead, because whatever, But the girl that P. Diddy's longtime thing with the one that they say he killed, before him, Kim Porter, I always thought for P. Diddy, like the mogul that he was, not that she wasn't a beautiful woman, but it never struck, she never, like, struck me like that. Cassie's gorgeous. Dude, he went white late in life. Finally.

Wow. It took him forever to figure that out. Yeah. I know. Black Lou, what you figured out way young took Eddie Murphy a bazillion dollars to figure out. You think he's eating green beans with the meals now? Now, Lou, when did you make the switch? You were black women first, then trans, and then you switched to what?

Because it seems to be the flow here. Black women, trans, and then white women. Of course. So where was trans for you? It was like the seventh, eighth grade? Yeah. Okay. Black, Lou, can I ask you a question?

Yeah. Did you go with just black girls first and then, is this your first white girl, or is there a time you just switched? What? All white. You've never been with a black girl. I've dated a black girl in like six, sixth grade. Have you ever been with a black girl? Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like one and a half. Like you've had sex with black girl. Yeah. Yeah, like one and a half. But everybody else has been white girls. Yeah. Really?

Well, has that been like an Asian or an Indian or something like that in there? You know, there's one that was like a quarter Asian and Polish. Yeah. That's a weird mix. I don't like that mix. She was angry. Yeah, she had big shoulders, right? A dumb Asian?

A big wide shoulders and small hips. A dumb Asian A Polak Asian A Dajian She was a Dajian How many Polak Asians does it take to Scroom a light bulb And it's like a number

It's like there is a number It's like 150 No it's a billion All a billion of them Eddie Murphy Yeah look another one though Pretty girl Strong face

She's masculine The guy likes a stern face And that's why he now Found out that there's strong face women You don't have to fucking jerk a guy off while you kiss him The strong-faced women that you can actually put a strap-on on, and they'll fuck you. They'll fuck you, and you can suck it, and then you don't have to worry about being called gay.

Yeah. Right? Because it's not gay if a girl puts a strap-on on you and fucks you, and then you suck it. Put on party on the time again, a little, if you want to say this. It's not gay. I guess it's not technically gay, but if I found out a guy wanted to get pegged and suck a strap-on. They don't call it pegging. They don't.

They don't. They do. They call it Making Love. Oh. Now, do me a favor, Christine, tell Bobby because he wouldn't let you finish the sentence because he doesn't want to hear the truth, the reality. If you found out that your guy wasn't into getting pegged, then what? I'd be a little, I'd be like, oh, maybe he's a little, you know, wants to try something

else and just is a little scared to go there. You would have sex with a guy? Yeah. Big difference. Well, you don't know yet. Yeah. You've only done the one. No.

Come doesn't come out of a pegging situation. Oh, if you buy the right thing, it does. What, like ice cream? No, I think they actually make sex toys That, like, you can have Like, it's shootout load on you But could you make it, could you make it the cream They use on Krispy Kreme Donuts

So in case you're a fat guy That wanted gay sex You're looking more of like a glaze I'm like a glaze Got you. Paco We just found out that you Would make a pretty enough woman For Eddie Murphy to fuck

You look like the trans woman That he hooked up with the trans hooker When they were a boy That's you right there That's you That's you Is that you? Paco.

Kind of. Kind of. Paco, when you started to look over at the screen, you were like, these guys are fucking with me because this is no way this is a real thing. And then you looked over and said, is that a picture of me? Yeah, where did you get that? I tell you. That's like my high school photo. We took silly putty and mush it on your face and then put it over there.

Dude, that is you. Now, we have a proposition for you, Paco. Would you become this girl? Would you become trans? Yes. What? Let us make the offer first. Oh, sorry.

You goddamn zesty son of a bitch Let us I mean no There's something in it for you Okay okay Well I was gonna offer money But I think he just wants to do it So I think we should pay for the thing

We need to give him something No no no yeah Give me something first We are paying for the operation Okay Okay And we but here's the thing We get to pick out the tits

Yeah Is it okay How big Nothing's gonna hurt your back Okay But people When you walk in a room they're going to turn heads.

Yeah. You're going to have cleavage and it's going to look next. Are they going to be the tear-drop ones and not like... No. What? No.

I thought tear-drops great. I like tear-drops. What do you want to get? Let's talk this out. What do you want to get? What do you want to get? Big fucking headlights? Just like those big...

Well, because he's going to be going on the road with me and I'm going to be having sex with him for five years. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We've got to tell you it's a five-year contract. If you do this surgery,

you will be with Bobby on the road for five years straight. You will be doing a half hour in front of me, five years straight. Just so you know, Bobby takes off seasons at a time. So you're going to be spending a lot of time by yourself just as a woman. But when you do go on the road... Yeah, summertime is yours. Summertime belongs to you.

Go to the beach, go to any way you want to go. Whatever you people do? Yeah, I heard there's a lot of festivals in the summer, right? Yeah, that's prime parade time. Yeah, that's prime trans time, right? Whatever it is you freaks do? Yeah, please. Well, okay, so I'm open to the...

idea but if for some reason Eddie Murphy starts going back on the road and picks me I'm gonna say I'm gonna stop right here buddy if you start skyrocketing the fame in the middle of that five years you have complete freedom to leave me but I do you know what you he doesn't want to clip your wings that's fine I want to see you fly but I do want a couple week notice and I do get to come inside you at least four more times before the five years is up Yeah. I mean, he's going to, like, really break you in. Like, Eddie Murphy's going to be getting, like, a used-up fucking mussy. Yeah.

The four times, is it any time you want, or is it like... We'll work that out. It's not anytime. You have to drop any... Also, not at home. No. Like, you don't have to come over it. It's just like when you're on the road. It's very convenient. You're a floor away, maybe.

Yeah, buddy, when we're on the road, it's not... When I'm home on Sunday, you're off. Okay, cool. But you can come down Tuesday nights. You're on Tuesday nights. Every Tuesday night, you're opening for me in more than one more. way. Yeah. All right, Pac, I'm over here picking out your tits from this wall of tits over here.

I'm going to say, not the left. I don't like that. Sunburn, hard. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking right there. I do like those ones right there, but can we scroll down a little? I want a little hang. A little more hang. Bobby, there's some good hang on that. I don't know. Well, listen, Jake, not for nothing, but I'm going to be the one with him for five years. Okay, let me ask you what you're paying him on the road, because I'm going to tell you this.

He's giving up a lot here. His local team soccer is over. Yeah, we're going to have to fix those No, no, no, listen And he's got a good He's got a good wide chest too So when you can really load them up They'll come together They'll get that cleavage

Yeah, we've got to fix those pepperoni nipples I don't think so I think you have great nipples, Paco Listen, I'm the one sucking I don't want a dark Filipino nipple I got to advocate for him a little bit here Because here's the thing There's going to come a day

What if you're done with them at some point You go Paco, I'm sorry I appreciate you did all this But I don't want to fuck you anymore I'll bring you on the road a few more times. And this guy's, like, you're going to change too much. He's got to be, it can't be so specific to you. All right.

Okay, he can keep the nipples, but if there's a thing that comes out where I can lighten him a little bit with laser, I'm allowed to do that. How about this? You can do whatever you want to my body, but as soon as the contract is up or I go to Eddie, you revert it back. What? You revert back to its color and size. So you have to pay for that.

And the tit removal? No, no, no, no. the tit stay because I gotta be ready. You might as well. Yeah, at this point you're moving forward, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're keeping that little patch, that little sole patch on your belt on your belt? Oh, that's a big thing before you came in also, he wanted you to know. He wants you to keep your underbelly button hair, but the above has to go. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I don't want to fall in love with you.

I need a little something to remind me like, hey, this is a Filipino dude. He's Asian, so I could take off all of his chest hair pretty much in a minute with my forefinger and thumb. Yeah. You could use dental floss in your mouth. Twink! It's a fun game. Hey, now, because if you look, look at the way his body comes down as little hips go out. Yeah.

Pablo, go, do you spin around for us real quick? Thanks. Yeah, look at it. Now, here's a little bit, now he's got a boy's butt. So we're going to definitely have to. Turn around. We're certainly, certainly going to have to. Hang on one second.

You know how I, turn around. You know how I feel about butts. Okay, listen. You know how I feel. It's a better butt than I thought it was going to be. You know how I feel. But I'll say this. You need to get him a little more of a shelf, though.

He needs a little more of a shelf. I'll get a little bit. We can do that. I think with I like, you know I don't like a big butt. With what I like, I think squats, some squats, we can get what I want. Well, I thought the idea was we weren't going to make them work much. We were just going to, like, build it. Oh, I want to work.

Oh, I want to work. No, you want to put the work in. So you'll do the squats. I'm two weeks into the gym. These hips are going to be gone, Bobby Baby. Okay, good. I want the hips gone, but I want to be. He's going to call you Bobby Baby.

I love Bobby baby. Did that Bobby have an eye at the end of it? Yes. With a heart? Yes. This is so awesome. Real quick. Can you, I don't know how to say this.

Can you just show me your leg again on the left side? Because this might be a, I saw something. I don't know if I like. What? Can you turn to the side, please? Keep going. Yeah. Is that a bruise or a birth mark?

It's a bruise. Okay, fine, I'm fine. I thought he had some film. It's from a donkey punch. I thought he had some family birth mark on his leg. No, no, no. Because he was the chosen one. Oh, yeah.

And that would gross me out. At some point, that's going to start glowing and he just has to leave. Yeah. No questions asked. It becomes a dragon. Yeah. And then a ferryman will appear outside the door. Yeah, I don't want that weird stuff.

I mean, right now, we're in business. Yeah, look at the little dimple. He's got a little dimple. We can definitely, you could definitely make Paco a hot chick. Oh, do me a favor. Put your hat, put your hair, like hair. Now, yeah, okay, do that. Now, flip it in the front a little bit.

Let me have some in the front. All right. Now, turn around. Turn around. I want you to turn around towards me when I go, hang on now, settle down. No, just turn the head around slow. Don't turn your whole body around. I'm pulling up in a car.

Ready? You know, excuse me, miss, miss. Oh, man. I mean, dude. Man, he gave you the gaze. Wow. Hey, do you need a ride or something? I mean, if you've got time.

Now, you've got to work on that voice. I want you to do a little... You want it deeper? No, I want it lighter. Oh, no, but you're going to get him to like, there's always a threshold. Walk him to the line, but don't let him cross over. He's going, oh, Bobby, you're going to...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, now go back into character. Think about what he's saying. Jay's right. There was a threshold. I don't want you to sound like Andy Dick. Right. But I don't want you to sound like, you know, Patrice O'Neill. There's a, all right, to turn around.

Think Chinese Kathleen Turner. But earlier Kathleen Turner, not now. Think Chinese. All right, ready? Early Catholic. All right, do you have a horn? I'm going to beep a little. Beep.

Excuse me. Miss, do you need a ride? I would love one. What the fuck? Wow. Wow. All right, where are you going? I mean

wherever the road takes me you're going a little basey you're going a little base that's a little loose putting some face on him I mean wherever you're going that's it stay in that little pocket stay in that little pocket

you'd like to see a little pocket wouldn't you oh my god you want to see his pocket I do what kind of pocket do you have well you're just going to have to find out oh Bobby you're so lucky you want your thick dungarees today what's your name

look let's see what the ride looks like first and then we'll go from there oh my god I'm confident you can call her whatever you want I like confidence though and you could hit her

but she's not giving it to me right away she's not like whatever you want daddy she's like let's see how it goes and if you kill her she has no family that loves her or is looking for her because they're disgraced at what she's not what she's become

it's nice it's nice dude like completely what um Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not done. We got two hours left to this show. Girl, I'm not doing this in front of Michael Jane. No, you're not. You're doing it on Michael Chase.

Yes, yes. We're going to see. We have to find out. Listen, listen, we worry about young black Hollywood before you know it. They're out there fucking dudes just like Eddie Murphy. So we need to see if you can entice. We need to know that he will not be enticed by you and your wiles. so he doesn't suffer the same fate

where he's got to go start making fucking every movie that has big red bubble letters in the title That's great, that's right That's right Before you know Michael Che is going to be in a movie having to play 75 characters

just to appease anybody Yeah, hey Paco Who's that? Oh my God You are immersed Yeah I love it. Let me ask you a question

Shoot Daddy-o Daddy-o He wouldn't mind Paco wouldn't mind being like a fucking Like an all-day slut either I feel like you can be like Hey, just sit here on the bed and look hot until I get back. Paco is definitely an all-day slut.

Yeah. Just an all-day slut. Just like lays around. And you go, hey, baby, just keep your pussy warm. I'm going to run to the store. I'll be right back. And then I'm going to take another taste of that. And he'll be like, you got it.

And then it's like stroking his wiener. Yo, baby, I got those Japanese Kit Katz over there. Have some of those and maybe some cheeses. I'll be back a little while. Oh, I got your machin' cod kick cats. I got your fish chips. You're in the bathroom. Oh, I got your salmon skin pretzels.

fucking stupid Asian people dumb fucking food I put your fish chips in water so they hydrate the way you like them a nice wet fish chip oh hey everyone seaweed egg rolls yim hey

hey your shrimp toast is in the oven oh you fuck all right put your shirt on Pacco Paco Paco welcome back what's up guys what's up man

yo what's up Bose let me go back to her for one second I got to get a date I like his confidence I like that let him in the car put him in the car let him in the car

hey hey come over here get my car get in my car come here girl come on the car oh it's he gave me he gave me limbo doors

he gave me limbo doors the door went up and we're in England by the way this is European car close the lambo door you dumb bitch just push the button it's right there

push right right fucking not that button not that that's no this is starting off bad just put that right there you go there's going haywire hey what do you know oh wait you got a little something on your lip was that what is that chin hair what's up how you doing you're gonna feel that chin hair bobby just that little bit of bristle right here on the seam of your ball bag when he's blowing you she's blowing you apologies i'm gonna tell you right now paco you smell like like balls really yeah he smells like he's been around a lot of guys really is your apartment all guys yeah for the most part and they lay balls on him dude Faco is a freaking Polynesian princess right now he could oh I kind of like that

you like Polynesian Princess you like that Polynesian Princess why am I turning trans do you think I don't know you're really falling into it too I'm just turning one too it's it's addictive just what Misenner technique is. Jay, try it. Is this my sister? Jay. Why? I do love it when you do it back and everyone's doing it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're all doing it.

DJ Lou, what are you doing? DJ? What? Come on, DJ. No, that's the fat one. He is the fat one. He's called the party pooper because he never takes it in the pooper. And he always poops at parties. I lost 20 pounds, fuck face. See how aggressive he is? That's why he never gets dick.

I know. Lou actually does look like one of those people who acts like he hates trans because he's non-stop fucking them behind our backs. This guy's never not nuts up his butts deep. Paco is five seconds away from being a hot Polynesian woman. I know, man. He could be... He's going to fall asleep and you're going to kiss his neck. And I mean, open his eyes, you're going to be like, it's okay, Paco.

He looks like King Kamaya's wife. So cute. Yeah, he really would. We could really dress him up nice. Dude, this is what we do for Skatefest. We can make a bombshell. We do for Skangvest, prettiest girl guy. We take comics who everybody gets one of their comics and you, I want, we get Paco, we get Paco, and we, everybody gets one.

Who are we going against? We go again, we'll get, Lewis will pick a comic that he thinks is hot as a girl. He would probably try to pick Paco, and then he's going to strong arm Paco with fucking gas digital shit. And then before you know, Paco is going to be naked, a beautiful naked girl in Lewis's room. You do that, wouldn't you? slut wouldn't you i mean whoever has the most dates what oh well what what whoever has the most on the road yeah oh we're fine then yeah we're fine you mean good dates or bad dates oh we're good you're talking b clubs or a clubs but louis isn't going to bring you you're going to cramp his style

what if he wants to hook up with other guys on the road and then you're just there all the time you know you know me and you i'm after the show we get a little fool go back to the room Bobby's, he's not going, hitting the fucking town. He's not out there meeting, greeting, looking for randos. He's got his eyes focused on one thing, getting your fucking boy butt back to that hotel room and sucking your busy. Yeah, and I'm one and done, kid.

You're going back to your room as soon as I'm done. Oh, yeah. Also, I know Lewis sweats a lot, and that's kind of like, icky. It is icky. I can't do this anymore. I can't want to hear Bobby's voice saying, eat my pussy, Paco, and you're licking his ass all.

I'm not going to say, eat my pussy. I'm going to eat my ass pussy. Yes. God, man, this has gotten erotic as shit. This is nuts. Dude, why am I so hot right now? Is it all this mayor rat? Yeah, this guy, this new mayor turned everybody gay.

Yeah. Damn. What was the Jamie Kennedy thing? You said he's gone. Speaking of red pill. Yeah, but he's not red pill, but he's basically, yeah. It's funny to me that all these comics are, you know, they feel like they have to let people know where.

They stand on shit, which is nuts. Well, I do think that he's wearing an RIP Charlie shirt. You know, that's almost what I mean. Like the, what in your life that you've done, I'm asking this to myself, not Jamie Kennedy. You, Bobby. I'm me, I'm right here. Or I'm saying you, me.

What have I done? I've done a lot of things. You have. I mean, I did a lot of things. I've done orgasm, sex and drugs. I was on a bunch of movies. I know you have. I've done two specials.

Of all those things. I'm on bonfire. Yes. very successful career, Bobby. It's been fantastic. Thanks. It's been a wonderful ride. And you're still on it.

Thanks. That has nothing to do what I was saying. Am I still on it? Am I really on the ride? You're on the ride, buddy. I really know what I'm going in circles. What have you done? I'm on the teacups.

I'm not on the ride. What have you done? What have I done? I've never been scared on my ride. I've been scared on my ride in 10 years. It's going. He goes, I think this ride's not fast enough. Yeah.

I don't think is that I even fit on my ride four years ago. What about Jamie Kennedy? Yeah. What about me? What about you? Lewis, the people we know, how about, even take like the Louis C.K. It's not saying he does this. But the people everyone looks to,

Theo Vaughn did like a nice thing about Charlie Kirk. I watched it when he was done. It was 15-minute thing. But what just strikes me about it is why do you think people, want to hear you're like hey guys I know that everything about me is just nonsensical bullshit funny

just blah blah blah entertainment that I try to do but I figure everybody probably wants to know my exact obvious feelings about terrible things that have do you know what I mean like I don't understand why so to sit there and go people

world's upside down right now this and my job I always thought was a distraction from that so it's interesting how many comics are like Guys, let me take a break from being funny for a second to unnecessarily let you know how it is and what people and why the other people are wrong and I'm right or whatever. It's because of likes. Like, I honestly try not to look at comments or likes or, you know, I have somebody who does all my

stuff because I just, I don't have enough time in the day because once I look at it, I'm just off. I'm gone, and now, you know, I did that, and I've done it since MySpace. You know, I got really involved with social media, but these guys, social media is a thing to do or a person to be with. Like, even when they talk to their, hey, guys, it's a friend on the road. It's a friend alone. It's almost like they get to turn that on and talk to whatever people are there, whether it be 20,000 or eight, you know, they're talking to them, so they know that they think

their fans want to know, hey, I need to say something. Look, I want to be honest with you, dude, it's hard to not say something. Because in your, I've only said something once, I think. It was when Tom Brady got accused of making out with a son. Acused? Yeah. I watched it. I know.

I understand. I was like, fuck you. You can kiss your kid. It's love and blah, blah, blah. I made this big. And you were being earnest about it? I was, but then I went on a radio show in Baltimore. And the guy was like, all right, let's, I'm going to kiss you on the lips as

as Tom kissed his son, and it was way too long. It was just, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was gay. But, um, I think these people really, it's a thing to do for content. What do I do for content other than put a clip up? I'm going to go and I'm going to make a statement and people do respond to it. And even the, now if you get people who hate you for it, it's still interaction. When, look it, when you don't get interaction, Jay, like your, your content, gets a lot of interaction what you put up there i don't know who does it or whatever but it's a good

team you have behind it but you my messaging dylan does all of my social yeah you do you have a good thing you know what i'm saying um and when you see somebody get like a a hundred thousand hits on something and look i don't i get every once in a while i'll get a pop and it's it's addictive you're like holy shit you're almost looking at like oh dude it's up to 20 it's up to 30 oh my god it's up to 100 and it's like it's almost like a slot machine or a video game when you see those likes so when they do this stuff it gets a pop i wonder what the thing is though i understand by six that was there was the whole i mean they've talked about that the science of it the the gambling thing of it the slot machine it's it's an it's an endorphin dump i don't know why of it as addictive as my

personality is it's a rick dorfin dump christine at all why social media that was a good joke you would have liked that if you fucking... Rick Dorffman Dump. All right, I don't know, but only you would have got it, but I said it at the wrong time. I said it, I just, I thought it, and I was like, say it now! Right in the middle of your fucking word like an asshole.

I'm sorry. Now it's about to be gone. Let me try to do it. Rick Dorman Dump. Hang on to my head. It was there. Yep. Why you're not addicted to comments?

Why social media never, like, but you are, dude. You are. No, no. I'm addicted to things on the computer. I'm addicted to like... You love looking at. puzzle games you like looking at people's bullshit no you dude you'll you like you like seeing um

like the pedophile you like seeing other people's crazy shit is your thing but you'll yeah but you'll look at you'll you'll look at uh you'll go on Reddit and read it and read about people and stuff like that never okay well Lewis does that yes he he actually will change his to you know what's going on to what people are saying and they like Lewis it's almost like like a guide to what the fans want of me. Lewis will tell you to not care what the fans think, and he really cares what the fans think. It's hard not to me, because the fans...

No, I know. I steer clear of it. Here's what I do. I just want to let everybody know. My ring has knock on off all week. It's great. That's really fantastic. You haven't heard me sip fucking JD.

Is it JD? How long? How long, Lou? You're nonstop chewing. I haven't chewed anything. And you know what? Christina's on mic, too, and I think she chews. Constantly.

I think it's her. Yeah, yeah. I blame you. She loves snacks. What? I chew on my mics off. I'm not a host. I love you so much.

When Christine came in on a break, she thought it was a commercial break, and just in front of a hot mic, she just comes in with the snacks, and she goes, I love snacks. And I was like, oh, that's hot. I want that. Can I have that drop? Do you have it? No, because people were talking over it. Fuck. Oh, really?

God do it. I'm like, what a weird thing. say we were on air i want that so bad i want snacks i love snacks how do we go no i try to get it fuck god damn i almost had her