The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Pumps & A Bump

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

During Part 2 of Tim Butterly filling in while Bob Kelly is away, Tim learns of a time when MC Hammer became gangster and gyrated in a tiny speedo. Jay wonders why wrestlers choose to fight in their underwear. They play a montage of John Cena rapping badly for his wrestling gimmick. | They analyze Trump's possible immigrant contest which sounds like American Idol for refugees. | Christine reads a story of a woman shooting her dog and Jay's mom claims she was raised on a farm, although he can find no memory of this. | Before Tim moves to Austin, Jay asks him to be a part of the "Oaker-Sphere" not to be confused with the rival "Rogan Sphere." *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the bonfire with Big J Olkerson and Robert Kelly. Man, Ninja Rap rules. Ironically, except the actual song Ninja Rap, which sucks. Is that the Ninja Turtles song? By Vanilla Ice, yeah. Robert Van Winkle. I don't know where you fall. That's my favorite rap song.

Ninja Rap? That's where me and you differ. Ninja. Ninja. Rap. Yeah, I knew all the words to. Having to make a hip-hop song for a child's movie is probably what changes your life financially forever and ruins you with all of the fans that would have kept you having longevity. Yeah but you need to be making new fans is the biggest thing. He grabbed an entire generation. With ninja rap? Yeah. No he grabbed the entire generation with vanilla with a ice ice

I'm saying the next one where he looks like you know the ice ice baby guys are gonna get old sure These kids are what probably at least ten years younger, but to laugh at him exclusively not me. I think this is cool We're watching this with two completely set different sets of eyes, buddy We're watching this with two completely set different sets of eyes, buddy Time as I say it wasn't far after it was it was yeah He was already big I think that out is after that album was huge Rap I bet you there was a day in the studio where they were like, okay, where's the next hit? Here's some stuff. I've been working on it was just not it He's like, all right, here's some stuff I've been working on. And it was just not it.

And he goes, I don't know. Let's do a thing called Ninja Wrap. New Line Cinema is on the phone. We need a big ending. There's no ending to the movie. We've got to put something there. Well, even when they have to do MC Hammer, I used to go, they do what they want to do.

Say what they want to say. The Addams Family. And it's like, MC Hammer was never necessarily going to be cool. But he could have had some like longevity More than he had except him. He was a nostalgia act ten years into fame The the follow-up is probably harder than you think man Well, I

Remember he came back with the was it funky headhunter the one he did with Def Jam. Nope MC Hammer came back and did one not Def Jam He did one album with death row Ella or MC Hammer they were trying to rebrand him you don't remember this where they made him like thuggy But he it was toothed the mistake was I think within the same album they tried to make him thuggy like you know holding fucking machetes and wearing like a vest and a beanie hat and Then I don't know I don't know the time long Yeah, this is the one where you came on bring up. It's all good Christine bring up the video You can see how he showed how this is like the press starts to green on a dreamcast game. Yep, you know

And I like that Also has pumps in the bump. No exactly So that's what I was gonna say then he made a song called pumps in the bump and instead of making a thug video He made a video of himself at a party in his house no no that would be better he went hard with this video and pumps in the bump is him having a party at his house it's a pool party and he is in the entire video has a raging bone with and wearing a bikini like you know French cut male bathing suit Go to put yeah, I'll take you know is that it's not cool. It's not pumps in a bump

It's a different song with the first home girls in it. I love home girls Everyone shaking it They change it what the fuck was the song was it pumps and pumps in the bump? I feel like it was pumps in a bump is the fur is the first part of the video at the pool party See that please Yeah, this is it I mean for no reason It's very Wesley Snipes coated and by the way, I think momentarily after this he had to sell this place I mean, how could you and you're saying from I have a professional right at the time

It's the same This is on MTV this way I way was gonna watch MTV this fucking rocks Such a big penis God bless him because there's and it's listen. It's whatever your personal style and your personal Internal feelings are but I will say There's no situation where I would feel cool Wearing an outfit like that if you were this in shape. Do you know what I mean?

I disagree man! Like trying to be cool in it is what's so strange. This is the point of having abs and defined pecs. Look how small all their butts are compared to now. The girls? Yeah. Yeah these girls are fit. But MC Hammer, huh?

He's got that dangler. Whoa, man. This is a commercial for his boner. Yeah, essentially. And I think that's awesome. However, this failed. Yeah. I also do like that MC Hammer,

though, is one of those guys behind the scenes. They say that he was actually like one of the thuggiest dudes of all of them. Like it wasn't him, he was kind of like the, all right, well, I'm just gonna side actually like one of the thuggiest dudes of all of them. Like it wasn't him, he was kinda like the, all right, well I'm just gonna side shuffle dance out of the room now, and then he sends two guys and they beat the shit out of you.

When those guys go back to those stories, it's always MC Hammer was actually not to be fucked with because he had such a crew. So funny there's somebody's grandmother was like, I was in the pumps and the bumps video. Oh damn, let me see, oh yeah, most of those girls So funny there's somebody's grandmother was like I was in the pumps in the bumps video. Oh Damn Let me see. Oh, yeah, most of those girls in the back are fucking now. I see you feel cool in fingerless Gloves Tim I'm talking about fucking I'm talking about boots and having your

I actually dressed exactly like the pumps in the bumps video in my early comedy on stage But it was part at the end of it was a joke The pumps I thought were cool the bumps is what I did for the lamp Do you think you were inspired by this video without knowing it? I was inspired by underwear my actual stepfather owned Big MC ever fan. He was a huge, just pumps the bumps. He actually didn't like his, he liked his dancier stuff. Wait, once you stole the underwear, did you keep it stolen or did you like- You're using the word stole implying I did some kind of a weird nefarious action of getting my stepfather's underwear from him. Once you took your stepfather's

underwear, did you like wash it and give it back to him and he would use it in between or you just stole it from him once? They were not, listen, no, no. I think I told them what I was doing. They saw the bit happen before. They came to see me live. I'm just asking about the underwear ownership. No, so they came, if I believe correctly,

in, do you remember, you ever see when you get the giant plastic candy cane that's got chocolate in it inside and it's the way it comes cane that's got like chocolate in it like Inside and it's like the way it comes off that tube. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the Hershey kiss. Yes Yes, there was a tube that had three pairs of different patterns very very I mean just strap on the side dick cover a little and ass cheek cover underwear that my stepfather had and

One of them in that package was zebra print and I was like, can I take those for a joke? Well, they sell those in packs. That's crazy. That seems like you know I want to say jockey when I hang her at the store kind of type thing. I want to say was jockey brand But to wear to my effect my stepfather owned underwear that on the side have only strap is pretty hilarious. What was the, describe the sensation of the first time you pulled them up and you felt that upper outer area of your thighs exposed. Power?

As a younger man, I'll tell you, it felt free. Yeah. For sure. Now all I would think about is my inner thighs and my gunt that need liposuction. But back then it was like, wow, I get why primitive warriors dressed like this. Absolutely.

No, it's the same. I don't understand. No, that's a thong. Come on, that guy's butt cheeks are out. That's not funny. Yeah, don't be gay. What the hell? Can we get the same thing but with it

covering the butt cheeks, please? Bumps and bumps. OK, there we go. It's just a strap on the side. I couldn't imagine. Too briefy. But again, it's like being, it's why I never understood the problem I had with wrestling always.

My favorite wrestlers were never always going to be the guy, like later as it got on the guys could talk really good on Mike, it didn't really matter what they wore. But why? Why ever would the Rock choose to come fight in like underwear? And Steve, they fight in underwear, and they all have fucking doofasses, and it's just the work, Hulk Hogan, never ever, until he went Hollywood Hogan

and wore pants, he looked stupid. You hated him. I never hated him because he was Hulk Hogan. That was my time for sure. Macho Man when I was younger, but when Macho Man finally went to like the fucking pass. The pass with the temples down the side. Still better.

The person who made most sense to me, but it was way after my time of wrestling, was John Cena. I'm like, George, here we go. Now we're talking, dude. You're gonna come in and white wrap? That's fighting clothes. I don't know how that doesn't haunt him in his life more his early on character and wrestling with the wraps he would do

weren't some kind of racist I Can't I'm not familiar with the lyrical content of John Cena's best wraps best wraps But he might be he might have taken Wigored him as far as you could take it. I had this. But he might be, he might've taken Wigardham as far as you could take it. Oh. To be honest. So much to- Who's going further? Who's going further than Wigardham than Cena? But he rocketed right out of Wigardham

into like just Hollywood guy. So yes, it is amazing what he's done. Oh my God, dude. I mean, it should be a freaking pay-per-fuel. The old man's got a plan. He's chilling in the building. Did I tell you I'm like light beer? I taste great and I'm less feeling.

You hate me because I'm white? That's reverse discrimination. I hate you for two words, illegal immigration. Here I am with you. Here comes the pain. God, build me strong. Forget to give me brain. You want to see a thug? Turn around and take a look.

You're just another dude who came up short from Red Hook. So now I'm ready. Didn't hit the way you wanted it to. Yeah. Yes, the dude who likes to suck it. Tory's a cover up, bro. We know you take it in the bucket. I'm a hanger.

Oh! Bosh! Tories a cover-up, bro. We know you take it in the pocket. I'm a hangar I'll whack you more times than a masturbation tournament What he's doing is racist I'll change them back to the Hulk so great you think his name was Bill Bixby Got no hydraulics in your car. You got a sexual sickness. His car bounces up and down because he sits on the stick shit. Word like.

Oh. It's always homophobic rev. That's great. I had him all wrong. I guess he started cheesing out before I paid any attention to him. So. The others being a perfect partner in a three-legged race

You just another sucker you think he's beating John Cena use a stupid If Booker T messes with me he better be prepared to pull the trigger. Just throw it to the audience dude. That would fucking, that would, Philadelphia would burn down. And by the way, when he goes, as he's leaning to it he goes, and that's why Booker T is a mother. And the rest of them go, no, we get two, we get two. When we went to that UFC, the first UFC ever in Philly, me, Dave, and Lewis, and they came,

how much they cheered for Forrest Griffin when he was going against Anderson Silva. Oh my god, what a nightmare. And then Anderson Silva just beat him up like a child. It was toyed with him. Toyed with him. Like he pawed at him until he beat him through almost frustration.

The uncles were on life support, man. Bring up Anderson Silva beating, it's a turnover punch that looks like it barely does anything and drops him and the ref just stops it. When he finally goes down he's just flailing wild. And he runs out of the ring, Forrest Griffin, and Anderson Silva's just sitting there, and they go, Anderson.

And everyone was rooting hard for Forrest Griffin, because it's just Rocky Town, dude. They want to see a white guy beat up a black guy. Probably the whitest guy ever in UFC. In their lives, they've rarely stood up to a black guy ever, and they certainly don't think they can just beat up any black guy in the world. So you want to see this guy do it for all the black guys

who have scared you. And when he leaves, but Anderson Silva is so good that when they say out his name, they announce his name, the place, they all booed him. And then he, like, because they had him on camera, he looks at the camera just kind of like, really? And then the crowd was like, ugh. Yeah. You can't just watch one of the greatest fighters of all time. Like because you know they had him on camera. He looks at the camera just go like really and then the crowd was like

You can't you just watch one of the greatest fighters of all time you can't just let him go out on booze Yeah, I mean you gotta put on a good show. It was childish the way I mean It looks like he's fighting someone who doesn't know how to fight. Yeah, this is fucked up He was so good Devast good. Devastating. Devastating. Until his leg broke in half. For the, I mean. Is this the end of it?

Yeah, you'll see. You'll hear the audience. That's crazy. He's out. He's out. He's out. He's out. He's out.

He's out. Yeah, like I said, man, a lot of uncles being extra nice with their co-workers that they don't get along with as well as they should in the aftermath of it. And this was such a puss move, remember, Farsky, he just leaves the ring. What would you do, man? You get his fucking pants pulled down and his penis flicked in the middle of the octagon. Your job is to do your post-game fight interview. Yeah.

People want to hear, what was it like? You just fought the best fighter of all time. That's crazy. Dude's swinging wildly like that. Please God, one of these hit his face. If he was wearing sneakers, the way he went down, it would have flown off right there. That sucks, man. It's so embarrassing. I That sucks, man, you know

We a lot of us have seen our family members lose a fight on the boss No shit, so forgive us for our immediate reaction. Here's our trespassers. I Want to know what else so many things are I know it's our last show of the week this week tonight In our last show with Tim. What uh, ma Tim I believe you think of some funny ideas for this Trump administration. Is our last show with Tim. What up? Wow. Tim, I bet you think there's some funny ideas for this Trump administration. Is this even real news? Is it real that Trump administration's considering

a reality show where immigrants compete for citizenship? Because now, I like this idea. This idea does not sound bad to me at all. And I'll be honest with you, I don't think people would have a problem with doing it. No, absolutely not. Give it a shot. Yeah, I mean it's a long line They're gonna say but it's a long line to get no American Idol to give mr. Beast a cabinet position As long as they come here the right way by beating a thousand other immigrants in a game where you you know stand in line

Until you know your fucking bladder gets out It should always be a thousand contestants whittling down to one person gets it Who's our immigrant this year? I have a thousand Somalians living in a DMV until only one is left Not your family nobody with you Just you you get to come by yourself The other 999 of you are going to a Guatemalan prison as soon as this is over. Oh, Homeland Security says the agency's happy

to review out of the box pitches. They're considering taking part in a television show that would have immigrants go through a series of challenges to get American citizenship, they said on Friday. The challenges will be based on various American traditions and custom flag folding, stuff like that back alley rape Spoke Cheating on your dad

They haven't connected like a heart rate monitor and they showed them like fighter jet flyovers He didn't think it rocked enough We're sorry Miguel It's gonna be a no. Yeah. He goes, I noticed you peeped that eagle fly and didn't cry. That's going to be a problem for me. Conjure up a deer, my man.

Conjure up a deer. Están con no con mi, hombre. The pitch generally was a celebration of being an American and what a privilege it is to be able to be a citizen the United States Game show I mean, it's such a great idea if we're going for this level of insanity. Just go for it I'm sure Ryan Seacrest has a like six weeks open He could host it for us and Brian Dunkelman's fucking available from season one of American Idol

Dunkelman's still out there. He's driving an uber now That's fucking fantastic ice Barbie Kristi Noem. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, she's the one that killed her dog Is she? Look it up. Oh, it doesn't like the one who killed her dog. Yeah Let's see. She's a pig. Hey Damn

How does she kill the dog do you know she shot it It wasn't Like behaving right nice. Hey, I told you yeah What did I say she is the one that killed her dog? She was reaching for a newspaper and grabbed a gun And she's the big reporter person Yeah, that'd be funny because you're deporting everybody goes. I could just put them down if you'd like no no no no Learn how to behave She is hot. She's hot for a politician

She can get it and then there's I got a dog. How bad was the dog being though? I? Read it was like a it was supposed to be like a working dog, and it wasn't training properly Is that what all was so just put it down? We love animals are really tough decisions like this have to happen all the time on a farm. It is listen listen I did my right after high school girlfriend was a fucking branch dog ranch chick and It's in a different relationship with animals out there things like that. They love them more, but they're also like They treat them very like very like matter-of-fact

You know I mean like sorry kids got a kid dog broken So I got to kill a dog are putting horses down and shit like that It's just very like kind of come and go so being a Roman general and if she was ugly or fatter I would not give her all these excuses. I'm giving The dog attacked their chickens, so it was like eating all the chickens and then it whipped around to bite her so it Wasn't you know? it was doing bad farm stuff. Yeah, well listen, at 14 months old, which is what it says a dog was, it was time.

14 months, man, learn it or don't, you fucking idiot. You're a dog, it's gotta be set seven years old already. Yeah, we love dogs, but we're on the farm, this is work. We gotta take this seriously. Yeah, sorry. Sorry kids, hey look, have any of the kids not killed a dog yet? Come out here.

Come out here. Yeah. Yeah. Oh dude, my mom, my mom was over my house on Sunday and just her going around and telling the story of her agricultural high school to everybody was making me laugh so hard. My mom went to, it's somewhere outside of Philadelphia.

Saul, probably. Saul, yep. It's exactly Saul. My mom went there. And I guess to get her out of the city or something. She went to horse school. Nice. Yeah, she went to horse school.

But like, I heard something about it, she's like, yeah, I know a little bit about this. Like, 50 years ago, you went to a fucking school that taught you things for a couple years. You do not have any of this. Did they have to put down animals there? I'm like, oh, yeah. Chickens, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're like prepping them though. They're not teaching you to deal with like a dog that's not cooperating, I guess. No, no, no, I don't think so. But what a funny thing, my mom took me to that school to go like look at it before high school, and I was like, I'd rather go to my gated fucking windowed, I'm the minority fucking West Philly school then

bus out to this weird fucking field send me back to George Washington Harbor Hall grain what a dumb fucking school so out of place look up saw high school and Philadelphia I would have been awful there well I went to a school in Ohio which wasn't even like that and Jason, would you please put the fingertips back on your work gloves? I don't feel cool like this. Can you see I'm trying to feel cool? W.B. Saul.

Man, my mom, she was going over to Soder and Katie and being like, yeah, it was pretty crazy. One day, all the cows got out. Just like, every time I'd wander by, she'd be telling another story about agriculture in high school. It was great. Get back over there.

What's going on? Rabbits? I think I may have run a rabbit over the other day. I don't wanna believe I did. I tried not to. I didn't see it in the rear view, but I also didn't check the treads in my tires. At WB Saul High School,

our mission is to promote student leadership that makes a difference in our world through diverse, hands-on opportunities rooted in an urban setting. Saul students apply their knowledge and skills to address modern environmental and agricultural challenges to enhance post-secondary career and success. Saul students drive the future by learning to do,

doing, to learn, and learning to serve. God damn. Just like farming in high school? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, by the way, look at the brochure, now featuring black people. Yeah, I mean, it beats the hell out of, you know, a parent bringing a gun to the other high school that you should be going to, you know?

Yeah, it is true. There's not a farm within 100 miles, I think. I don't know how this place existed. I still don't even know where it was at, like directionally from Philly, that my mom would be able to go there every day. Like Bridgehead towards Contrahoccan, I think. So it's not that far, it just happens to be 150 acres

of farmland. It was on my commute. I drove past it every single day. Really? Yeah, and I would go, horses, nice. It would be one bright spot, 30 great seconds on a 50 minute commute that made me suicidal every day. I don't think it changed my mom's world at all. She does nothing with animals or agriculture. She got out of high school and immediately just

fucked my dad at a bowling alley and got pregnant. Some bowling alley dude. That is a career path on the farm, by the way. My dad was a pin setter. Whoa. Yeah. I was like, what did you guys meet in the 50s? What the hell?

They were born in the wrong decade. A pin setter? There was machinery by the time you met dad? That's fucking great. I always assumed pin setter was a job for a guy like escaping an old identity or something, running from something. Yeah, and by the way, is the job just living

in a little crawl space it seems like, and then just constantly set up pins? Yeah, begging teenagers to stop running on the lane until you fucking get your ass beat. Probably quarterly you catch a beating from teenagers that you need a couple days to recover from. I'll tell you what, pin setting and ball return are pretty high tech in the world of like,

that was figured out in bowling pretty early on. Yeah, now they're definitely dead because now they have the wires, they put wires on every pin. So now there's no humans involved whatsoever. Still? Yeah, it's too expensive to maintain the machinery for a pin setter.

And it's like the industry is dying and so now they're all on strings and everyone's pissed. It must suck. Everyone hates it and it's even the pros I think are doing it now too. I know I don't wanna get controversial. It changes the game. Yeah, no shit.

It stinks so bad but it's like, you know, otherwise. Chris, you let that up, that's crazy talk. Otherwise bowling is over. Yeah, that's bowling that you would do like on a farm with strings attached to your pin. You make some kind of a pulley system so you can pull and they all stand back up. There's a lever drilled into a tree next to you

with a clothesline coming from it and you just yank it as hard as you can. It's crazy. No, it's over, man. Sorry bowling. Sorry. No. No.

No, no, no, this is the future. This is where they're going. And it's a system that uses strings to pick up and reset the pins and they are becoming more common that focus on entertainment bowling rather than serious competition. Yo, fuck that. I mean, if I go to bowl, I'm going to win.

What is the top bowler? I don't mean I'm going to win. I mean, I'm going there with the intent that I'd like to win, whoever I'm playing. Here's the thing. What is the top bowler in the world? I'm gonna guess it's Jordan Belmonti. What does he make?

Is that real? I'm gonna, I don't guess. No, I mean the name? Possibly, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. Okay. But Belmonti might be the best, the number one bowler.

I wanna know how much money he makes in a given year. Last time I went bowling, they had strings and I didn't realize it. I thought that the strings were knocking over pins that I wasn't even close to hitting right? That's what I mean. They're like hanging in a weird like they're gonna Yeah, how can you hit a seven with a 710 split? It's impossible if it's on a string right above it They might wiggle around bore though and but there's no there's no accomplishment in that it's bumpers basically in professional bowling 10 pin bowling players like Jason Belmonte Sorry, and Walter Ray Williams jr. Have accumulated significant earnings no dollar amount on that though wait

So there was a real guy named Belmonte That was a joke he bowls like a wigger he does two hands to spin it extra hard And it's like he does it at the highest level I do one hand But I put mega spin on it because I go, no thumbs. Same. Same. And it actually hurts my thumb when I try to do it.

I don't know how to bowl. But this guy's doing it two hands, but what's his money look like? In 2022, Jason Belmonte led the PBA in earnings with $302,525. Oh my god. That's your, that's the top guy in America. And he makes as much as like a doctor is doing all right. Yeah, a doctor who should start his own practice,

but like, you know, he's already bogged down. Look at that. Yeah, that's essentially the same thing I take at it. I'll tell you what though, you got a wet lane, that thing's hitting gutter every time Well, they study the oil patterns obviously, but geez dude, you know, can we watch Pete Weber freak out when he won? I watched this on Sam Roberts. It's his favorite clip of He won the PBA. I don't know some Jack. Are you in Pete? Well, you're not familiar with Pete Weber

You don't know Pete what this is incredible. This is one of the best videos on the internet This is extremely widely known the u.s. To open Yeah, so the quick backstory on this there's a kid in the crowd who he thinks has been reacting to With I think he was too loud or something like that and he was taking it as antagonist Like an antagonistic thing from this kid. This is the, I think the final. So he's angry at a kid in the audience. So we're 10th frame and it's a tight, I think he needs this to win.

This is like strike or lose. Well it's a spare. It's a spare. I'm sorry, yeah, clean up or lose. Go ahead. Strike to claim it, strike to claim it. And he got it! That is why I did it! I never fought!

Are you kidding me? That's right! Who do you think you are? I am! This is like Jacob with Joey Logano. Except he did it and didn't watch a guy do it. Yeah! Poor Jacob. It's Pete Webber, man. Bad boy bowling. I think I was stoked.

He's like, I just won $27,000! And he screamed at a child, who do you think you are, I am. That's the goat. And what did the kid say? Probably just fucking pissed his pants there's a child a grandfather just screamed at you wearing the most athletic sunglasses of all time those sunglasses were great oh man is it we didn't judge any person who has their sunglasses behind their head what do you

how do you judge them I'm just like I'm not gonna get along with this guy great. Mm. I think those guys are cool. Like, all the sunglasses live in my head. No surprise to anybody, those are the coolest guys in the world. Nice place, Oakley. And you know what? I'm not talking about functionally in a moment where that makes sense. I'm talking about where they live there for a long time with it. Like, I'm gonna go into a concert, right, and I'm wearing sunglasses on the way in, and my choice for the rest of the concert is to wear them behind my head? No go. No go. I'm gonna go into a concert, right? And I'm wearing sunglasses on the way in

and my choice for the rest of the concert is to wear them behind my head? No go, no go. Yeah, those guys stink, but you know, what's your position for sunglasses at rest? I go right in the front of the shirt. Now, I think that's cool. Can I tell you what my dream is?

My dream look is that I'm thin enough and not pasty enough to wear a V-neck t-shirt. I have the sunglasses hitting the V-neck, the deep V. But not there. And now I do put it up here, but because I'm fat and my neck's on my shirt's tight, it's right here. Being in your Adam's apple. The sunglasses are right on my neck.

Are you bleeding a little bit right now? He goes, oh, I'm just getting nicked by the hinge is all. Yeah, I knew I liked it. There's Guy. There's the mayor of Flavortown. Yeah, Flavortown definitely rocks him backwards for a while. He's like, well, I'm inside now. What am I going to do?

Not bring them? Dude, you and Fieri, I think, are. Soulmates? A lot of people say. I was going to say the light and the dark. You guys are the yin and the yang, I was gonna say the light in the dark you guys are the in and the hang I think it's very possible we've I We went to his thing with Burt when I went to the Super Bowl

We were Guy Fieri's hang and he did not seem to take much of an interest in me whatsoever Really? I mean I could see why you guys are I didn't get a chance to tell him that everyone says that everyone calls me Guy Fieri as like you know an insult. Oh, I'm not insulting you. I'm just saying you guys would easily fit as the angel and devil on some fat guy's shoulders. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I'm telling you all, there's a lot of people

who get most of their life's ideas by listening to me and Guy Fieri, a combination of both. They've got everything covered. You almost don't need anything else. I went to fat school. you mostly just listened to Bonfire and watched guys' grocery games. Oh, oh, I just realized, you're moving to Austin and that's gonna take you right out of the ochre sphere.

Shit. I was going for the Rogan sphere. I was having an ochre sphere, you're gonna go for the Rogan sphere now. No, I'm out of my own thing, man. Come on, what the hell, don't put that on me. Oh, I don't know the reddit against me. I dwell exclusively in spheres. I Don't know if you hear all these things going on on YouTube But I exist exclusively and I cannot seem to correct the Rogan sphere whenever they talk about Rogan sphere

I'm never even peripherally mentioned good. So I'm start the ochre sphere here. Oh, there's also the Sphere only a satellite ochre sphere absolutely you know Tim There's a butter. There's a butter sphere out there for sure a hundred percent Everyone's got their own sphere. I don't I'm not trying to put my thumb on anyone's neck whatsoever I'm saying but the ochre sphere is Trying to branch it out. Yeah. You count me in.

I'd like it to help people the way when they say Rogan's fear helps people. You think you haven't helped me tremendously. Welcome to the ochre sphere. There's a Nate land sphere. For sure. We talked about that. We didn't even tap into the Nate land sphere. Oh, the Nate sphere. Oh, the Nate sphere has no cursing or nudity though I don't want to be a Nate fucking g-rated Totally great park your dome right next to his you know

I better have just something on my keychain that it gives me after hours access to Nate land when that fucking thing is up And running and I'm gonna see I'm gonna convince Nate cuz Nate's enough of a rube that I could possibly convince him Laura's gonna stop him though. I can convince him to put that black lady statue in the middle of Nate Land like Walt Disney. Just the big black lady in the middle of Nate Land. Oh my God, is there gonna be a bronze statue of Nate? One could only hope. I could only hope so.

Wait, is Nate Land, is there a real place, Nate Land? Not yet. Okay, I'm sorry. It's coming. I fell behind on something. No, you didn't come on. Is it coming? You haven't heard this, that Nate's gonna open up a amusement park. Are you fucking with me on my life? He says it an Esquire. I didn't know it was a public thing that we could

Talk about openly until it was in a magazine. I was like, oh we can talk about it So also when he said in a magazine and before he said in a magazine, I was just kind of like this is an idea It's gonna go away And before you said in a magazine, I was just kind of like this is an idea. It's gonna go away I'm I'm so good. No, so you're definitely not fucking with me. It's real Nate lands real Yeah, let's hope it happens. But yes, the idea of it is very real I'm not making a joke that Nate's gonna open amusement park and fucking with you. Okay. Thank you. All right I needed I really needed that man. I was lost. It does say anything. Well, I mean I was lost. It does say in the thing.

Well, I mean, does he announce any rides? Can I tell you something? The more this idea has been out there, and I would tell this to Nate, I went from laughing at the idea to now being like, open an amusement park. He's got the money to do it. If it fails, he'll be fine. I'm just picturing the righteous gemstones compound. Oh, yeah. Now it's going to be super nady, which I'm just picturing the righteous gemstones compound. Oh yeah.

No it's gonna be super nady, which I'm excited about. How does that translate to amusement park? This is the all audiobook library. I don't know. He doesn't like music. At all. Okay, music-less amusement park. So just music-less, no music playing in the street.

I don't want all that crazy music. None of that. What about dancing? It's not a small world. How you gonna do dancing without singing? acapella dancing man Silent dancing, okay Zip, pop. Say, you. Spit it, god damn. Fuck, and hit that six, seven, eight, and got all the N's. Do, do, do. Nepe Barghatzee, Disney's run by a guy

that's just a businessman. That guy doesn't care about the audience. Ooh. Fucking shots fired, Disney. Shots fired, Walt Disney, you fucking Nazi fuck. Your reign is over. Your reign is over. Your reign is over. There's a new mouse in town, Nate Bargatze.

Oh, it's so great. He wants to be a new kind of Walt Disney figure for the everyman. Now he goes. Ooh, I like that. He goes, hey, Hillbilly, you could have a museum park one day, you just believe? But also, do you know how much it costs

to go to Disney now? Hundreds. Thousands. To go? To costs to go to Disney now? Hundreds. Thousands. To go? To take your family to Disney for like a day, you're spending $2,000 probably. For one day. That's not including flights or anything.

That's not including flights. I'm saying you get to the park, yeah, you get to the park, you're spending $1,500, $2,000 for one day. Really? You going, Lou? I'm looking up going during the July 4th week. He just told you it's thousands and thousands of dollars? I believe him, because that's what I'm seeing.

That's why he married white. Smart, dude. Smart, bro. Don't tell the secrets, Jack. Sorry, sorry. So Nate Land, as long as it's just cheaper than Disney, it's already a hit. Oh, yeah.

Well, he knows his audience and thinks he's the everyman. Good luck getting a fucking Lilo and Stitch ride, though's the thing. No licensing dude. No not at all dude it's gonna be the John Crist devil drop. Just to clear the Kathleen Madigan's wild ride. It's a Nick Thune world. Big J Mountain. Oh, absolutely. But that's, it's adults only. You can't run that one. They don't run that one anymore.

They just, they deemed it racist. That ride got canceled, man. I don't know what happened. I don't know what the fuck happened. Damn, I can't wait. Are you looking for prices, Christine, to go to Disney? To go to Disneyland, it's $2.50 for the day to go to both parks, California Adventure and Disneyland.

The Disney world has like six parks, right? And they all cost money. First of all, it's a mind blow to me that Universal Studios and Disney aren't related in any way whatsoever. I mean, maybe to you, but to me, they're the same exact thing. I think they should be the same exact thing. I thought when you go to one, you're going to both. No, they're competing companies.

Yeah. You gotta hate each other. And then it's in the worst place ever, Orlando. Yeah. You know it's gotta be the worst, though. And I think I did this. I think I went to Orlando, and we only went to Universal so we were striking distance to Disney and didn't do Disney I could see that I don't know what I'd want to do. I don't know what I would want to do at Disney at all You'd have to be going with children. I was a child you were I was yeah

I was taken to Florida by my parents And we went to Universal Studios, and I was just like there's no way this this doesn't end in a surprise We're going to Disney even for a day type thing I was on the I was on the flight home. You flew down for Universal Studios. What the fuck was that? Yeah, how old are you? probably like Middle school. Oh, yeah, I was afraid of weather. That was one of my stories and story wars recently and we I my dad Against his will I'm pretty sure it took me and his stepkids and his wife, his second wife, to Disney.

And I was so afraid of weather, bad weather, it freaked me the fuck out. Like rain and shit. Oh my God. Not even rain, it was cloudy skies and stuff. That had to be so fucking annoying. And it was, it's Florida, so it's raining non-stop and on and off and I would just keep freaking out until I think after only an hour So we'd left got back on a monorail and everyone was mad at me, but I was like

We're gonna be safe Guys great news. We're all gonna live Fucking strange it was I would have been so pissed I was obvious you were one of my Brothers you would have been really no father's your parents. There's no way I'm Acquiescing to those kind of complaints. It's just like hey, man You better toughen it look your mother and I worked really hard to get you here You better toughen the if it makes you feel any better after that He didn't reach out to me almost until any birthday until I was 41 years old, so I

Think he got me back for it. He did take my jacket off layaway once though. That was a big thing. 11 bucks, London Fog got me through a winter or two. No doubt, no doubt. But the fact that he's brought that up to my ex-wife and Dave Smith upon first meeting them when I was well into my 30s is pretty hilarious.

Is it layaway bragging? Yeah. Yeah, not even bought it. He goes, I get a bad, it's the law, he goes, I get a bad rap, you know, but like everyone doesn't, they don't talk about the good stuff. Like how about when I got your jacket, your winter jacket off Layaway. Like Layaway doesn't even exist anymore. You're talking about an antiquated financial institution. Layaway. Remember when I bartered for Then when I made sure my boy was warm with 11 whole dollars That's right, but when I melted all of your toys in a wood stove to survive the winter. Yeah, okay It wasn't all bad. It's really more like hey remember your mom because I don't give her any money couldn't afford to get you a jacket On her own, so I'm gonna go give her $11 to fix her life Good God. That's good dude overall

Tim butterly show very charming Tim butterly show is available on YouTube at youtube.com Slash Tim butterly and make sure you catch Tim on the road He's gonna be a dead crow comedy club Wilmington, North Carolina June 27 28 small club get tickets now such a fun club I love how like they're just on top. Have you done it before? No, my first time. It's so fun.

Well, I hope there's people there. The owner, Timmy, the owner's great. He's, it's a very cool place. And that's June 6th and 7th. No, no. 27th, 28th. 27th, 28th. 27th, 28th, that was a close enough thing. Yeah.

June 27th and 28th for tickets to all of us tour dates, TimButterly.com. I'm gonna be at Governor's in Levittown next weekend. After that, San Diego, Charlotte, Tacoma. For tickets and all my tour dates, go to BigJComedy.com. Listen to Skanks. Watch Story Wars. It's all out there. Story Wars coming maybe to a city near you. Who knows? Robert Kelly.

I have some fun gigs coming up, everybody. He's gonna be at the Dojo of Comedy at Mars, Plains, Jersey, Portland, Maine and Rochester, New York for tickets and all his tour dates punch up that live slash Robert Kelly Enjoy a best of tomorrow. That was going down though Enjoy nice best of tomorrow. I'm glad we were able to get you guys a couple shows in this holiday week we had Until next time everybody crackle crackle well Bobby back week we had until next time everybody crackle crackle well Bobby back Monday right Monday's back from Aruba unless a Vander slute kills him