The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Quick Impressions

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

Back from break, the guys catch up on Dahmer and have a Impression-Off!

And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. The bonfire. The section talks here he's 6103, Big Jokes and Dan Soder. Uh, Saul Cypressil last night, K.R.S.1, Surprise Guest. That's pretty awesome. Where'd you see him in? Dude, just the best part. Terminal 5.

Hell yeah, I love Terminal 5. People shit on it, but I like it. It's really around the corner from my house. Yeah. Term terminal five's great It's three minutes door to door. I walk dockens by there every night. Yeah Christine tries to sneak in To every concert they have With dock it's a cool venue. Listen. It's a cool venue for sure

If you're tall remember how great one drugs was it was packed like that it was packed like that But like also everybody had like their space up, you know, I mean it wasn't like shoulder It's a lot of fun shows on stage that it wasn't shoulder to shoulder But it was just like there was space. We a lot of good time. Yeah, it was it was awesome It was really awesome show looked good We were all a little zipped who are you all with who'd you take? Cuz Christine stayed home with the dog. Tom from gas digital, Karine Green. All right. Our old Frank Green Green.

Well, I'll switch. He's got his bread and the sag yellow. Sag daddy had a bag. Sag guys are the match. Joe the Rosa. The Rose, another white rapper. You brought all your friends who are white rappers. Joe Angrijioni. Hey, Gridge. Old comedy central now in Netflix. They haven't seen Gridge in a long time. I gave her a raw copy of my special. I say make it up. I go do it. Dance. It was literally like my dream job to intern for Joanne Grigioni. Yeah. And I came out here. Yeah, she was awesome. Her and Ann Harris. Yeah.

Yeah. I got to work with it. I mean, we got I got to work with Ann on this show, but I never actually got to work with him. Ann was the one that shot us down, where we're like, you know, we have like a whole TV show shot that you guys just put on a nice show. You still don't know how to talk? And then all the videos we watch make sense, they're in there and they go, no. No, no.

Because David Spade was thinking about farting into a microphone for a half hour. So he gave him a millie and told him, come up with something. No, it became light-tailed, which is funny, very funny show, but they didn't have the idea yet as what you were saying. They were like, now David Spade's going to do something. Yeah. And like, yeah, but we have a whole idea.

Can you look at it? And they're like, yeah, no. We have proof of concept. Better show already being shot. Yeah, it's pretty big. There was a whole new thing. It was there, people. Oh, that was the funniest.

Remember, I always forget that. The response to a saying Could we make this a TV show? Wasn't they stopped filming it all together? They fired the video crew your core and then are gone. Korean Lynn out ski hard Corey Something resembling anything good. Yes, yes Liam I heard about Johnny Depp day. I missed Johnny Depp day. Yeah, you were in Vegas. I couldn't believe I missed Johnny Depp day,

but I have to listen. I heard that Jacob stood up to Liam. Yeah, I mean, Barry, yeah. Liam came on here and tried to kind of shit on Jacob and Jacob just fucking yacked on him. Yeah. And Liam's a big fan of the Bonfire. We love Liam.

It was really funny. I don't know if we said it on the air, but when Liam was giving, he's like being like, Fez a little bit, he said, Jacob.. I don't know if we said it on the air, but when Liam was giving like he's being like, Fez a little bit. He said Jacob, and I don't know what that meant. He goes, oh, well, Fez was known for like going out there, getting in the elevator with some of the celebs and everything and trying to get him on the show, and like sometimes pulling them into the show. And he was like, so you don't want to get that reputation, Jacob. I'm like, I'd love Jacob that reputation. And please do that. I'm like, it sounds like phenomenal production. Sounds like that's a real big guest. Getting some guests that aren't necessarily,

we're gonna come in without that happening. Yeah, but Jacob, you feel free, dude. And there was, they shut this whole place down like more than Madonna. Yeah, that actually bugs me. Madonna, they didn't tell us it was her. Yeah. And they kicked us out of our studio

and she showed up two hours later. And I was like, I literally had my room was at one point just for Madonna posters. Yeah. I'm like, I couldn't have known that she was going to grace my work always so I could bow at her feet. She must have seen. You know what, Christine, the crazy shit that you're saying right now is the exact reason why now I understand why C. R. S. X. six and me just walk in a big loop. That's why that's the kind of question talking about you. Luna tick. I didn't you dress up to try to see if Johnny Depp would think you were cool. Yeah, but we never got to do it because they they

shot it. You couldn't walk and it's my fault that they wanted just because I want to be respectful and not look Madonna in the eye as you walks by. No, you just know you said that's how you said you said you said you want to you said you want to bow and worship you want to what you said. That's how you said. You just said you're gonna, I would encourage you. You said you wanna bow and worship your feet. You wanna give her a word or not worthy. Yeah. We're not worthy.

That's not gonna do good in the halls. That's why they're gonna redirect you. No, she'll come and she'll be like my child and she'll like touch my head and then she'll be my mom. No, have you seen what's going on? Other recently, I don't think you want any piece of that. I don't think you want any piece of the mummy returns. No, Madonna's not gonna be my mummy.

No, you can't have Madonna. You get fit a baby finger between those two front teeth for some reason, all of a sudden. Sweet poor dude, she looks like a tail from the crib now. I said you guys were ticked. Yeah, it was weird. This is her account. Yeah, it's just short.

He's at least you can floss with yarn. You know what? Josh Hollamy got on Instagram for a little bit and he would have these captions on his pictures or I'd be like He can't stop dude. But he's like, hey man, I know. Like I trust me. I'm a fan. But can you cut that out?

Josh for me. Josh Brolin. Josh Brolin's super spiritual. So I think I unfollowed him because of his captions. He's like a cowboy wakes up and looks at the sun and realizes it kisses his chest and he realizes in that chest is a heart of a man, a man that's haunted and man that is lived. Dude, I sort of got like five paragraphs of that shit.

I look at a field, unplowed and think that's what all this was before the sun turned on the moon. The rugged one. Yeah. And you're like, hey, Thanos knock it off. Yeah, hey, settle down, big brother for goonies. Ha, ha, ha. Goonies, ah, good and eh.

Yeah, do you have two longer captions? It's, you know who pointed the first one out to me? When you hit more, when you hit the words like more, when you're gonna read more, and then it changes the entire, like your next Instagram post you see is Fucking free flips down. Yeah You know who's the first one that pointed this out to me was when Shane was on the road with me He's like the rock sucks

Like what do you mean he goes the rock sucks? He goes just look at his posts I started reading him and once I saw it I couldn't unsee it. I was like, oh god damn it. Yeah, look at that. He's like, you're scared anyways. If you're a successful, you'll be some fake friends. He like writes in my country lyrics. If you can, people make you should be selfish. Here at people, here are motives.

Be kind anyway. People are often unreasonable, logical, and self-centered. If you get them anyways. Yeah, it's one of those things where your actors have that they're never told they're stupid. They always told they're just like brilliant. So he's like, oh, and he's a, I mean, he's a top notch.

He's an elite actor. So no one's like, hey, shut up, you fucking yammering him, though. He's this child, he's like telling her. Yeah, I think it's a little bit. Yeah, it's his baby. He's like writing a note. He just write it to her

Just get up write it down for her look what he wrote for the queen. What is this? What are you right for the queen? There's just something about respect Through lines some idea of ritual still feels attractive still feels attractive. It can change as she has experienced the malability that she had to have incorporate into her character the losses and the wins in a life. I've realized that living out or in the bubble isn't the issue. It's who you surround yourself with and what you die knowing. It's simply, I don't know why I'm not doing this in the same only.

Hey Josh, I was reading through your Instagram to your kind of a quiff. Yeah, it really is. Like, the hell is this shit? I hope she had a wonderful 96-year-long break. But again, just the thing, it was like, when that happens, with anybody in the world, did one person unrelated to, outside of his small circle of life go, and what would Brolin thinks about the queen died?

Yeah, hey, what's the guy from old? No country for old men think about the queen died couldn't give a shit with Quentin Tarantino or Brad Pitt think about it Or I want Marilyn Manson or I need to know shahme. I need to know what Javier Bardem thought of it Yeah, I it's so weird. I won't you do, it'd be great if Jason Statham were like, people that do pin-bo movies, we're like, that, you do that kind of deep things, like, we don't want to know in the Queen's eyes. Did she ever last kiss?

Did she look at the last flower? You make shut up, dude. The fuck up, Jason Statham? Shut the fuck up. Anyway, mate. Anyways, look at my ass. Yeah, now celebrities, self-righteous celebrity shit sucks. But Madonna's just gone weird.

Madonna's TikTok, bring it up, Christine. Yeah, Christine's the one of Senators, right? Yeah, yeah. It's weird, she's like dancing naked in lingerie, but she's like 70 now. Oh, and her body has grown. I recently went back and watched, I think on Skanks we did this,

to watch her do like a virgin or the borderline video. She, you have to remember how hot this girl, she was so hot, she was extremely attractive, that chick. Dick Tracy, that was extremely attractive. That's my age. She just, if you're a little boy and you started getting boners around the time Dick Tracy came out Right now she's got god damn lunatic with a swim or parties at her house

She's like would you like me to do some Manipulation some genital manipulation look at my beefy body now She's got the best whoppers back in the 80s her titties. Yeah, now they're tell you what could say what I Sex but she was like gorgeous. I'd say what I didn't like a better a better Naked body that much love the bush hated the hairy armpits, but I will say my biggest problem Tiny nips tiny nipples Extremely small nips. I never loved that but also you're like watching if you're her kid and you walk in you go mom Can you stop being weird sexy? Oh, yeah, I just want to have dinner. Can you stop? Look at the book's picture. Yeah that's the even the one there when she was nude.

I never liked that thing of her naked with the Willem DeFoe movie. Body of evidence. That's the one all the way on the left. Look how little our nipples are. They're so teensy. Just being the kid of a lady that's all sex all the time has to be exhausting. Oh my yeah, well her kids. I'm sure wacky So I can't can you film me doing this sexy tiktok dance, but she was so hot when she was young Yeah, but now exactly she's just like a fucking Phyllis dillard started showing her snatch same thing with Johnny Depp when he walked in here Hey guys Carol Channing showing her fucking box on IG again guys get that Betty White TikTok Drops it drops it low before she died room a clan of hinges had a fapeting league. Yeah, she does the bus in challenge

Yeah, that's too old and I get it Johnny Depp is like that like he looked weird like those of us that got to see his face were like, what are you? What are you? Yeah, definitely a superstar. And now I guess we know now that we have to hide all celebrities from Christine before she does something crazy at their feet. We should put all older celebrities on an island.

Just like Madonna and Depp, just have them fucking bumping into each other. It's only like Madonna, Stevie Nicks, Cher, is that like everybody? Shared dark. Whoa, who's this lady? Oh no. You need a call now.

I'm out of my feet. Bob, kiss my toes, you bitch. I'm out of my feet. Whoa. I've never been attempted to think in a share impression. I said we've all. I just thought we'd fucking throw it out there. You know that? That was a lot of fun.

You first time try impressions, dude. Let's throw a list out. Oh, if Blackwood, you taking phone calls at home? Oh, did we say call it up? People call up and just say they're impressions. We give them a shot. We take turns. We take turns We take turns just giving it a world of somebody. Yeah, you might we might nail my fall on one Yeah, my fall on one, but Jacob here Jacob you had a problem with the dog ratio before the break he was

Domer is more like what What Jay had started last week really like I couldn't stop thinking about it. The credit he's given is being this brilliant psychomurder. He's bored. I think he's a slow adult. He's the dumbest. Then you didn't watch it. I mean, he killed people in his grandmother's living room. One of them is coming down the stairs for one of them.

And she just grandma, go back to bed. But what's all this noise? I'm just having, here with my friend. Ah, and they just go away. Nobody does anything. Oh, and then the one guy, yeah, he did not. He had not. He had not.

He had knocked the one guy out already. Yeah. And then the grandmother came down and she goes, well, he's, something's wrong with him. I'm going to help you take care of me. He's like, he's just drunk. Mommy's passed out. It'll be fine. And she's like, no, no, and like that's one of the people that tell on him too, that that go back as he gets out the next morning, because the grandmother like made them like nursing, uh, to be to feeling okay again. Nobody

did a thing to capture like a bed, the bare minimum when he would have been put in jail immediately But the murders that he did it as apartment I'm at the stop start laughing at one point and sad as it is because the the neighbor Woman is basically calling 911 every murder and giving them a live broadcast the telecast of this murder going on and you hear them Ah please stop killing me Yeah killing me. I can't breathe. I'm dying. My life force is fading. Stop drilling my head at this very moment. Ah, and nothing, yeah we'll get, please you have to send police right now. I'm hearing there, the sounds like somebody's being murdered. Now? Yeah, we'll get somebody there. Then they never they never do. No, no, no, no, they do. Sometimes they do show up.

And then the second they show up, that's whatever they open the door and he goes and they go, sir, what's that smell? He's like old meat. Yeah, he's like, old meat and they go, we're going to the sound that there was some screaming and complaining in here. And he's like, oh, yeah, we were doing gay stuff. And they go, ew, bye. Ew. They had no interest in. I want to stop a bank robbery. Yeah. Uh, if the cop, one of the cops had walked a foot more into his bedroom, there would be a dead body on the floor right in front of his eyes. He had dead body already on the floor and the new person Anna person decomposing in the acid and you know the cops would come in he'd go

What is all these bodies on your floor? He goes oh this is gay stuff, too Do you think because they're gay they were got jealous? They're like who's this bitch lying on the floor? Do you have another did you take another lover? Well, dude, and they said the cops got trouble for being, for being bad cops and that. It was so, it's so funny. I might, that shows where I might watch it on the road, Jacob. Oh, it's good. The neighbor is hearing like after she does the 911 telecast of the murder, the live telecast of the murders hangs up

because nobody's coming and And then all you hear is, ah, rear, rear, drills and saws and agonizing screaming. And then that silence. Pay for thin wall and then yeah, that silence. And then a murder. And then it's over. And then a murder's over.

And she's like, oh, thank God I can go to sleep now. Oh my God. Yeah, you had no interest. And see? And yet he wasn't even like, his compulsion wasn't even just for murder, necessarily in general. It was these people he wanted to keep. So even though this lady,

like you even think a murderer would have had something try to happen to her to get her out of the way. This neighbor, he never thinks about it. He just keeps doing it. He's like, no one believes her. No one believes her, where she says shit. Now I'm fine. And he's right.

Yeah. And she just lived with that. Yeah, they really, they really beefed her character up though. Oh, because you know about the actual, and well, I watched a bunch of that. Do they interview her on documentaries or like, do they interview these cops that were like well they're doing a stuff what was I gonna do was a Georgina something

you find that but they play the actual nine one one calls yeah but there's something with her she's given interviews though for sure what's her name and so she does interviews Georgia some people get up the domars neighbor but again they said that the problem, the things they fucked with in Dahmer, I got to watch like a side by said, like, truth versus yeah, fictional in that because they

also said she didn't live across the hall like next to him, like that or whatever. It was down the hall. No, it was like down the street. I think she's like from down the street, and then would see weird things going on there. I think she's like an actually a nosy more of a nosy neighbor than like a lady fighting for her eloquently to save people's lives. That's what you always wonder with it

when they make a TV show, this thing, you're like, is this, because they can just change it. Jacob and I was always laughing about that about, thank you for smoking, were they like, hey, we'll add a line, you know, I'll just make.

That's one line of dialogue. Thank God they invented the, whatever device. Yeah, yeah. And that's what it's like really. That's one line of dialogue. Thank God they invented the whatever device. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what it's like real. Glendic Cleveland, the other it is. The voice that fell on deaf ears. Tonight Glendic Cleveland,

who lives the frustration of being shut out by a police operator, as she insisted the person being beaten was a child. When I say what I have to say and I know it to be true, I don't feel that I have to constantly keep repeating myself. And I think it to be true. I don't feel that I have to constantly keep repeating myself. And I think that can be said for everyone.

Glendit Cleveland remembers the day Connor Rack died. Remember the police assurances that everything was OK. Did you start to doubt yourself? I must admit I did. I did. You feel a reporter, guy? Yes, they did. Tweet this out as a reporter.

Looks like a really, he's looks, he's got his, he's doing a little teapot stance while he's interviewing here. All right, bitch, go. Speak the truth, girl, I'll listen. Ladder, say it. Would you, would you bang Dahmer? Would you have Dahmer if he was straight? There's a companion, you know, they pump up the documentary to go along with the series

and there's the Dahmer tapes. So his lawyer recorded everything, every conversation she had with him. So and they kind of go chronologically through his whole murder. And it's pretty interesting. It's on Netflix also. Oh, yeah. And then the guy, I think they, they, they fantasized a little bit up the, the guy who killed Dahmer like in jail. Or Dahmer, like in jail.

Are they making cool in jail? Do they make them cool in the show? No, I was in here for protecting my family. No, it was like, yeah, but it was a little bit of like the, like I now know, like I'm getting right with God and like this guy is, this guy, like he needs to kill this guy, like for God, like he was like ridding the world of him. Yeah, probably think it was just like, you know, he was like, I'm to kill this guy, like for God, he was like ridding the world of him. Yeah. I think it was just like, you know, he was like,

I'm a kill this guy. He was mental, but Dommer was a total cunt in jail. At first, just being annoying to everyone, yeah. At first, yeah, then he started going like to religious shit and then just started sticking to that like a lunatic. But like, it is funny in the beginning, at least a show, on the show, who knows, but this was like notorious, right? That he was in there, because he started getting fan mail,

because people are crazy. Yeah. So he started, he was the shit. So he'd bite, you know, he'd bite new a hamburger, he goes, you know, like, this is made to someone's face. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm just fucking around, I'll see you guys out in the yard. Yeah, don't fall asleep, but butt your nose.

Yes. Okay, okay, okay. Sleep it around, means like dying around cats. You know, you face. And that was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, I'll bite you leg off. Get munched up, I'll see you on the best work. I sleep it around me is like dying around cats face Get munched up I'll see how the best work. I'm gonna go take a shower. Yeah, you guys making the nicest place today I'm gonna go with the showers. Yeah That was it basically this despicable as person easy. You should not get credit for being a brilliant serial like opath because he's a moron.

Well, you said there's a being homophobic. Yeah, there is like a you know, like a Ted Bundy like was escaping like jails and and courthouse. Do you know what I mean? He was also just so like charming that he'd be like, what if I just walk out of this jail? Oh, no, like, Ted. Donner would, Domer would say, they so,

they so, they so one of the not deal with Domer, like it look, even then that show shows like many times, like he would get caught and he's like, I deserve this. And then the judge would be like, now you're a good dude. You're gay. It's like, it's like, no, I know, I could tell you're a pretty good guy and this gay black, or no, not, I could tell you're a pretty good guy. And this gay black, or not the gay,

was that was like the Asian kid, right? This Asian kid you molested, I don't think you'll do something like that again. You know, I'm gonna give you a second chance. He just like gives him a second chance. That guy was like, I'm probably going to jail forever. Hey, you got that vet amount in your system. He was like, I plead guilty.

And he was like, no, I'm not gonna let that happen. Look at me. Cause he pleaded to like stay in jail for like three years or something and the judge was like, fuck that, I'm letting you go. Cause I think you're an all right guy. You're Jesus. I have a grandson your age.

Yeah. So that I think that was a lot. Yeah, he goes, so I'm gonna. Remind me of him. I'm gonna drop this because look, sure you molested that kid in your neighborhood. But I'm not, no, no problem.

You're out. Well, you know, there's a lot of outcry that people were like, you should, the, the victims of his family should be paid for the movie, which I don't know if I necessarily agree with, but I do think it's fucking crazy to watch a movie about your uncle getting killed by a serial killer. We're like, that's a lot of cool. Jacob, might be wrong on the timeline of that though. He molested a boy, got like in trouble for that,

got let off the hook and then murdered that kid's brother. Yes, that's exactly, that was what his brother was one of the last murders, I believe. Yeah. The chatter and the fight. And I think he just happened to. Yeah, he didn't realize. He didn't realize that he was, it was this kid's brother.

Jesus. Oh my God. So weird. So weird. So weird. That's brother. Jesus. Oh my God. So weird. So weird. So weird. It's crazy. Yo, the way he kills that guy is like so weird. Black, black glue.

We got any calls for first time impressions? Not yet. Might want to re-explain it and tell him to call it again. 86, you say a famous person and a me and Dan, you can't be one of Dan's, or the ones you know, where the ones you know we do yeah the furious fight left field You you want them to give you an impression? Throttest love with me versus Dan not even it's just me and Dan versus the world

I'm slam, but if you come and talk about a new impression, what's wrong? New it almost the screen talking. Oh, It can also by the way, most of them probably really suck. Oh, yeah, that's the fun. It's the fun of this I mean, they can't all be as brilliant as your share guys 866 966 966 We'll talk about other stuff, but then we'll just come back to the impressions Jacob. Yes, sir Another thing I wanted to bring up I'm still incensed by seeing Snoop Dogg Kevin Hart and the rock in every commercial Dude, it is God is it is gotten so bad

Kevin Hart and the rock I can't Take away his Kev like what's the what is overexposure me? Everywhere but I get what what does it mean with there's like there's no like I mean I'm not saying anything bad about get it like you pay him a lot of money and it's like it looks good for your company Sure when he's endorsing it's the capital one card or whatever else he draft kings draft kings He does this at the point serious access. What's the value of paying him? If you're like, I don't know what commercial is gonna be what he works on like well Kevin Hart promotes every do you know I mean it's like how did I tell you guys?

Cogor Pepsi or Sprite I Was flying down to Cleveland and the lady sitting next to me was on Instagram watching Kevin Hart's stories Laughing in a way that made me feel unsafe And then later I talked to her and I was like, oh, you're confirmed stories, laughing in a way that made me feel unsafe. And then later I talked to her and I was like, oh, you're confirmed. You're at it. You're fucking nuts. She was just pounding red wine.

And she's like, I'm going to this Japanese metal show. She's like, oh, I always lose my phone when I'm at a show. And I was like, that's crazy. I was trying to read and she's like, what book are you reading? I was like, lady. I'll get off. I was trying to read and she's like, what book are you reading? I was like, lady. Oh, God, oh, fuck. She was like,

just lady knocking off, who wrote that? Yeah, oh, okay, I'll be, I'll be. It's fine to get. Uh, is that her fine to get? But she was watching Kevin Hart's stories. Mm-hmm. Crying laughing. No.

Like, in a way where I was like, they're not that funny. She's on the pier be back by the way. What do you mean? I think she's back with a new thing. She never left. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want to tell you that those commercials made me make up my own commercials because I'm so in sense that there's such a lack of creativity. These ad agencies should all be fired.

Yeah, I agree. They fired the same three people to do the same stupid commercial. I'll throw this one at you. I have two commercials. Well, two celebrities. Okay. Jay, how about this? You'd appreciate this.

The bouncers from Roadhouse, and the foot commercial. Right boot. Got it. That's not all you'll get. You have comfort with this, with this shoe. You get those guys. How great would that be?

Yeah, do you really know? Like, you're eating. Yeah, and here's another one. A guy who played Buffalo Bill for Weight Watchers. Are you about a size 12? Not anymore. I used to be now a size five. And that's a Weight Watcher's commercial.

And then they go, have you seen Donna? It's weird. And they go, hey, have you seen Donny? Was she a great big fella? Did she? Not anymore. And then shows her standing in front of her old pants. Hey, guys, wow. It looks likemanaging your diet. You've dropped weight, now you can't be my

skin suit. It's safe and better for your health and life. Wait, did she use to- Wait, was she a great big fat person? And now she's fantastic. And now she's fabulous. He's fabulous from 40 gotta have you gotta have him break the fourth wall and look right at the camera He goes like he opens the door he goes we're shooting great big fair person But now she loves her body. I guess 50 years the 24 wow Slim down is that great my night vision goggles aren't so good. Yeah, it's our crispy brinkly over there I'll give me back my fucking dog. Ha ha ha ha.

How great was that for you? Nothing right my fucking dog. Ha ha ha. You knew that I was one of the dogs. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wait, wait. Was she used to be fat and now she's incredible? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Chik-chik-chik-chik-chik. No, no, no, no, no.

The group of people. The group of people. The group of people. The group of people. I'm great with that, babe. Wouldn't you want to see that commercial? I do, Jacob, but I'll tell you what, I like just the way your mind's going.

I am. Yeah. There's real comment. I'm a sucker for bring back nostalgia. Love it. If they got the T birds together to do like a summer nights song parody for confer a commercial I love it I love it but you get it's good nobody's not wrong because they are

they're just using three current stars that just it's constant how is Kevin hot are you going through metaphors? Do Corona beer is all in on Snoop Dogg? That Andy Sandberg wrapping these knees with my breeze. I was like, I fucking hate this. It's just it's uncomfortable and weird. And he's going to be on set all day with Snoop Dogg preparing for a thing. Yeah. If you put the cast of aliens in the commercial, I would bone up watching it. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah, I

Possibilities they do the same three lame Camino who's breaking into that's Pete Pete's getting that Taco Bell money Taco Bell Modern modern warfare call of duty smart water smart water the call of duty ones crazy He's just in it because he's a celebrity of like It's just all different celebrities like they're like wrapping or saying something about you seen it Yeah, I haven't seen the call that page like blah blah. Oh, oh, he has like two sentences No, it's like it's part of like a rap, but he just says the part Do that fucking I don't know if you saw the clip of Charlemagne in shults on their podcast, brilliant idiots,

but they were talking about Kanye called Charlemagne. It was like, my wife is fucking a white boy with a ten inch dick. And you're like, well, there you go, confirmed size. Damn, damn, dude. That's really what a commercial. Yeah. That'll drive you to anti-Semitism.

That's not even Jewish. Okay, look so you could be that. I'll look different, it's got to blame him anyway. Look so you could be Jewish. It was a fartic. Oh, it was a fartic. He's a fartic dude. Not Oshkinawsy.

But yeah, that confirms it. His 10 inch thick wipe. Well, even if it's not 10 inches. Cool that it's out there.. Cool, that's other. Let's say it's nine. It's big. So it's probably approaching nine if not bigger, right? And maybe it's 10.

But at my point, if it's nine's huge, right? So if it's, but if it's told to the world that it's 10, who's throwing a tape measure? Yeah, if you're six foot seven. You just see his big dick and you go, it's why I know that's a 10 inch dick. If you're six foot seven, you could tell me you're six foot eight or six foot nine point. Probably yeah, it's exactly what I'm saying You're right. You're not gonna put it in place. So if you see his big dick, you go I guess that's what tenant You just accept the being told to you did Ariana Grande? Do I always carry around though a loose tape measure? It did Ariana Grande have a pussy midwife to like take that like a big woman to be like

Hey, can you come here and have him fuck you because he'll destroy me. Like she's so tiny. She's like a little pixel. Almost the point that pep in his step in his relationship as far as like going from Ariana Grande to then being like every celebrity girl ever, is just like he, probably the only person in the world

who knows what Ariana Grande is like, oh wait a second, slow, slow, slow, slow face. You know, I could rip it on half. That's not awesome. But yeah, Charlemagne confirmed that on brilliant idiots with shultz. Pete's got a 10 inch dick. Yeah.

Yeah, you saw that? No, I didn't see that. There's a clip of Charlemagne saying that Kanye called them and it was like, he's supposed to be helping me and he's like, I'm friends with Pete. And he's like, this white boy out here, fuck he's like, I'm friends with Pete and he's like, this white boy out here, fuck up my wife,

this white boy with a 10 inch dick. And he's keep saying it. The best part is Christine didn't know the way she answered when I was like, oh, you heard the story, I go, Pete's got a 10 inch dick, she goes, yeah. Oh yeah, she goes. I was like, yeah. She feels like, fuck, you know that.

She feels like 20 in the room. Yeah. A lot of real estate. You see the thing live? It's a different trail live it's a different trail takes up a lot of you know an Eskimo sister Yeah, I know an Eskimo sister and that was when people was like 18. Yeah Is it my mom? Yeah, dude my mom again? What's that Jacob? Davidson. What's that? Jacob? Jacob knows you're talking about it. Destroy them inside.

I don't even care. She's just a regular person that's Eskimo sisters with Kim Kardashian. Jacob, we can throw a condom over your whole body and say your Pete Davidson's dick. You could probably live some of that life. Hey, I'm Pete Davis is dick. You are. Oh my god, I loved you in the smart water commercial.

I thought you were brilliant in Taco Bell. Why don't they make this in the morning commercial? So great. Did they give you all a podcast? Did you Taco Bell? Well, someone put up a video of like the old 89 Schwarzenegger Japanese soda commercial and you're like, oh yeah, that's what it used to be like when they'd go over to Japan and stay hidden. We just talked about this. Oh, yeah, they let it go because of uh, yeah, because they're so ashamed

Sylvester Stallone would be doing like Cologne in Germany But now you just do it here. Yeah, and now he's like love brews. Johnny Depp gets helicopter out to the desert with wolves And they go cue the wolves Johnny start shredding and Action every commercial with a celebrity every commercial. I always think of the same thing. I think of when they're filming the commercial. Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, whoever the celebrity is. When they go and cut at the end of the commercial, just knowing that there's someone there to go, that was great. Andy Snoop, I think we got it. That was phenomenal. That bullshit energy of being like, Snoop, I think we got it. That was phenomenal. That bullshit energy of being like what a comor Kevin loved it When you barked like a dog we had to stop ourselves from laughing. Yes, wow

Wow And wow I saw that happen to Kevin Hart at the seller. I would he dropped in and He went up and like obviously Keith was there like bust in his balls or whatever and but then cat We were all sitting on the stairs because it went, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Louis CK. And so like I showed up and I was waiting to see Rock and Louis. So I sat on the stairs because you could hear it. And Kevin Hart gets off stage and there's just like a business white guy with a tall model

and he comes out and he's like, that was awesome. King Baby, you've got to do more about King baby. He was clearly a guy that's not a comic because of the way he was talking about the joke and just watching Kevin. Yeah, man, okay. And you're like, you don't want to tell him, fuck off. You're like, who are you? He's got to be some written in it. So he was camp or something? I think it was just like a very successful guy that he was friends with because the guy was like, we're sorry, but someone who's like a new kid, but yeah, he was like a new kid. Yeah, yeah, he knew him, but it the guy was like, we spoke about someone who's like new cave, but yeah, he was like, he knew him. But it was like,

oh, it was probably like the executive, like owner of Tommy John. Something like that. That's exactly it. Or he was like, oh my God, King Baby, and just like his tall, ghostly white girl. Oh, we're both rich, so I could probably give you some tags for this.

Exactly, that was exactly it. He was wealthy enough to be like, I'll give it to me, comedian tags. He goes, oh, Kev, here's the notes. Okay, baby the first stuff good good heavy hitting stuff I'd lay off that little little stuff's a little dark no dark for me, but they just where I remember them going Oh my god, it's there's so much there the King baby. There's so much there Fuck I tried to think what's the King baby bit. I don't know Bam my baby's king!

Okay, so now, baby's like the king of the house. Bam! Boom! Skip skip! Let's see what first time impressions we're gonna try. Black Lou, do we get some calls? Yeah, there's a few, quite a few calls here. Let's give us the name of the caller and then we'll try the impression. Okay, this one is for both Dan NJ, it's Brad. He'd like you guys to do Roseanne Bar and Don Nots.

Well, we gotta do one of those who. I think here's the whole point of this. We're both gonna try it. Oh, I thought we were having a conversation with Roseanne Don Nots. That's the same fucking, the same ground links, don't we? Who goes odds even? I'll call odds. Let's throw odds who goes first.

All right who goes odds even I'll call odds with the odds who goes first Even you wins you go first you get first dibs and then I go first with the next one. It's me Rose and bar. I'm the queen. I'm the domestic Dan I told you my tits are Dan I told you my tits are Everybody says my husband Tom was a drug addict, but I Don't know he got about a rosé on it's not good though. Dear Don nots now. Okay, damn Hear a little Dude, but you don't not

Mr. Furley I'm trying to think of a while. Well, what are you? Good don't not dude. That's a good don not This is stressful Imp First time impressions are stressful! Oh! It's your awful! I'm dying to lie, dude! You won that! You got Don Nots and Rose and Rose.

No, not against that versus. You're right. We're finding out, moving forward, who does the Rose and Don Nots and precious. And right now it's you. And maybe that's what I do. Black Lou, what else he got We have Carter asking for a John Claude Van Dan what that's Dan's one of Dan's jams you of all people

Should know I never in my life or black silk on the word yeah, I'm waiting I battle the king of chocolate fun Damn yeah, I thought even that good at one Tell whoever that was to go fuck themselves What else you got? Do another one and another one Robert's asking for Gilbert got freed from both of you guys we've done it on the show Oh, of course a Gilbert Gilgay sure. I don't know. What are your kids think with the thing and I'm over here And he says we gotta do now. It's not him. Why would I forget to say that?

I used to do Gilbert Godfrey, Michelle Wolf. Oh, yeah. Like writing for the chorus. Because they're the same same shriek level. You see, to it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. See what I mean? Fuck it, to it. Yeah. Oh yeah. See what I mean? Fuck it, love it. A Jew and a black go into a bar.

I want to know how the towers fell. It's a loose change. We're going to do all conspiracy theories. Black will do one more and then we'll take our last break. I don't know if you guys know this one. Cobra Commander from GI Joe. Don't remember. Cobra! Of course! GI Joe! I think I have a slithery voice. I think it's a snake. I'm a little gay Cobra Commander. I'll suck you off. I'm a little gay. I'm a little commander. Destro! I'll blow you. Is it the last one? That's pretty good. K-Cover commander.

Yeah, no you don't worry. I mean don't dog. Of course we're getting the J-O-C and Phil dog, not today. We're gonna need an hour to take out. We're good. That's a deep dive. Jerry O'Connell and Cory Feldman performed together. Probably live show tomorrow. Live show tomorrow. Yeah, I- That's- I'm just like bummed. It's like we always get so we had hopped up when we haven't been on Mike together. Yeah, it's been a week. So well, we got to take another we've got to take our long break right now. And then come back and have a little bit of show. That's not enough time for us. Now it's definitely not enough time for

that. But we will be right back. And we say again that the our skank fish show is this Thursday. It is a tour de force by Jacob. Oh, it's Jacob's moment. Christine was running shit. Christine was the general. We're going to play you the whole skank fest episode and then we also have a recap that we'll put in at the end. But you know, today we're live half in studio.

Some of us are home. Some of us care more than others. Some of us, you know, big J's going to be at the Kansas City Improv this Friday and Saturday, October 28th and 29th. And then at the Miami Improv, November 3rd through the 5th, after that, he's got Salt Lake City Philadelphia for Thanksgiving and Austin for tickets and other tour dates visit bigj comedy.com. Oh, and I apologized everybody from Irvine improv. I was, uh, it was a, I guess, was a assistant mess up or something with my agent, but like something when one assistant left ill and came, there was a mix up and booking. So I was booked in Miami and Irvine. Anything they moved, they rescheduled Irvine. Got it. So my apologies, people that week

and I'm gonna be in Miami. Uh, apologies Irvine rescheduled for sure got it so my apologies people that weekend. I am gonna be in Miami Apologies Irvine rescheduled for sure. I'm excited to come out there. I want to do it Dan Sotas gonna be his aini's Nashville one of my faves November 11th and 12th after that. He's gonna be in Michigan Houston Brooklyn and Philadelphia. What's in Brooklyn? Bellhouse to December 10th think yeah doing two shows on a Saturday. Yeah yeah, for tickets and all tour dates, go to dansoder.com. It's the bonfire. Hmm. That's a post.

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