The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Radio Daze

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

The guys spot a Howard Stern character in the halls and it leads to childhood memories.

And now the bonfire with Big J ball on top. He's always funny. He's got the Jerry Rice Raiders. The problem with a Billy ocean is at his height of fame when it was like, okay, here it goes time to roll in like pussy and money He's draw he definitely was drawing 40 something year old black women from day one. Yeah, it's a don't black contemporary. You know, it's crazy when you put on Pandora on Yacht Rock. Yeah, sometimes a lot of the Yacht Rock will be stuff that's like you wouldn't consider Yacht Rock. It's Pandora, so it's all on algorithm. Sure. So it would pull like,

in those music sometimes it's called just Yacht Rock. Or certain Fleetwood Mac songs. We're here like, but it's what it is. Kind of, but I don't think you would, I don't know if you're the person I know that knows the most about Yacht Rock and that kind of what it is.

When you do Billy Ocean Radio, it tends to be more like the ones that miss, miss a little less. Yeah. Where you're like, this is what I was going for. Yeah, it's like, the more that Luther Vandros' fast songs. Yeah, but then it goes into Holland notes and you get the Christopher Crosses.

Really? Yeah, you get Billy Ocean Radio obviously is built on your own Pandora and if I do a lot of Yacht Rock and that because it's like fun, smoke and weed cleaning the house music during the day. Yeah. And Billy. It's not driving at night music. No.

Well, driving in the afternoon. Afternoon. Yeah, but you, um, Billy Ocean Radio. That's true. Try it out. Try Billy Ocean Radio. Pandora, everybody. Sister company.

Yeah, we can talk about it on here. Well, we're all one company. Yeah, we are all one. Which means we should probably be able to talk to Howard's whack packers. Yeah. We're globalists. Yeah, will I see a confused one running in the hall?

Medicated P from Howard Stern is apparently running run the hall strudget Howard's And you two and you two being super Howard fans know this guy know his background. Yeah, they're talking about They were literally as I walked up with my headphones and talk I was hearing them talk about they had a thing with him in a nude beach Where he just shows because he has a monster hog. Yeah, God is silly like that. And he loves showing it. God gives mentally-retarded people massive dicks just to be like, that's why God has, I believe in God and I think God has a great sense of humor.

Oh yeah, that's a good sense of humor right there. And he also, he's challenged. He's a mentally challenged fella. So the thing is, he also doesn't He's a mentally challenged fella. Yeah, so the thing is he doesn't he also doesn't really have a grip on Like sexuality so the idea is he loves People seeing his dick. He wouldn't tell you he's gay or anything But he's fine if gay guys love his dick if straight guys look at his dick He got a hard on when he was talking to the gay guys. Yeah, they said he started getting hard when the gay guys were complimenting his dick

But he's just cuz he's so happy. He's just happy when he was talking to the gay guys, you know, as Dick. They said he started getting hard when the gay guys were complimenting his dick. But he's just, cause he's so happy. He's just happy, he's just, he's just impishly happy about his big weener. He took a happy boner, it's not an aggressive, aggressive boner is just scary. Yeah, yeah, he'll just show it. Yeah, so I medicated it, it's medicated.

Medicated Pete, Pete. Yeah, I always told you the story about when I moved in the dark and my friend Troy worked here on the NFL Channel And he was my friend from U of A. I barely knew anybody. He's right when I moved to New York And I was seven and he's like there's a Super Bowl party and it's Forels Super Bowl party and I was like oh my god That's awesome. He's like do you want to go to Forels Super Bowl party? I was like yeah, and it was Scott Forell Mm-hmm. So yeah, you got this. I thought it was Frel from the Neptune.

Hey, what's that I do? You think you go to a Neptune party? I thought I was going to a quenching. What a different thing. Dude, I hope I maybe I could find the picture on MySpace, but there's a picture of me drinking a beer with him there and I'm wearing like a Jordan hoodie because you clearly thought I was like,

I thought I was gonna go to like a cool Super Bowl party, but I'm smoking a cigarette in the back when High Pitch Eric was there. Okay. And I was a, I thought I was gonna go to like a cool. Yeah. Super Bowl party, but I was smoking a cigarette in the back when High Pitch Eric was there. Okay. And I was, I was a fan of Howard, I'd been listening. Also, I became a fan of Howard through Howard TV. He was never really on really. Yeah, because he's never.

Wait, you mean through each channel? Each channel. Each channel. Yeah, the each channel show. Howard TV was a pay-per-view service that came after. I watched it at your house. That's what I watched Howard TV at your. Oh yeah. But I would, but I lived in Denver and he wasn't on in Denver.

Oh, okay. You had like Lewis and Florewax. You had like regular guys or whatever. But then- Were there your best friends? Yeah. But then you found out about Howard because he was the most famous shock jock or DJ

in the fucking nation. And then private parts I loved and like I read the book. And I was like like oh Howard Stern rules But I couldn't really listen to him and then with Napster and shit. Yeah, that's when I started like but then E Putting on the TV show huge was massive and I can watch it love it So I had seen a high pitch Eric on the TV show with the fish One of the funniest things or is that Howard TV? I forget what you want it was it was both Yeah, it went back because like the thing is. Or is that Howard TV? I forgot what you're going to watch. It was both. Yeah.

It went back. Because the thing is, what they did on Howard TV, it was awesome was they went back and posted a bunch of the e-stuff uncensored. Yeah. Which was awesome. That is awesome. That was so awesome.

But yeah, high-pitch Eric, they found out during one of the, it was like, wheel of punishments he had to do. And one of them was get slapped with a dead fish. Yeah. And they find out, I think in that moment, that he's terribly afraid of dead fish. By the way, I don't like him either. However, I would not, but yeah, him just going, no, no.

So I had a, they had a guy that he's being shown in KC who was every bit exactly what I, I, I, I, I, surprise you made it on the show so long. He was just like a bullie-ish. Was he like Wall Street guy? He looked like one, but no, He was like a former football player, like college football player. He's a big lug.

Yeah, he was like super muscular. Dude, he had a sexy post three put out while he was on Howard Stern's show. You remember that? Like a real sexy poster black and white with him looking down. Kind of shirt off, he was jacked. He used to fuck a bunch of things.

I think he ended up getting fired for he had gambling problems Or he was fucking too many people I didn't have everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah gambling problems for sure He was like fucking his life up and then I think it was like he was banging too many people Damn on the show what what a cool way to get fired. Oh, yeah Yeah, I was fucking running money lines and pussy. He's not me. He tried doing comedy.

Nice. And then so that was the issue was like, but again, the comedy was like, here's a problem. He's following the template of the guys he fell in with like, Florentine, James and stuff like that who were professionals for a long time, especially, but he's trying to go up there and do just that, you know what I mean? You know the best thing about fucking a kid's face is that they can't complain when they're mouthful, you dick to their parents. Yeah, and then he would be like,

oh, okay. You can't handle it. You can't handle it yet. I saw him a caroline to go in at two times. You can't handle the truth. He was like a low beanie, kind of over his eyes. Like, it was so about being cool, and it just did not work at all.

Shit, dude, he used the term bucket of AIDS because only real bad boys. More than likely he really said that. Only real bad boys use that term. Oh, then she came over and she brought my wrong order again. So I hope she slips into a bucket of AIDS and dies when you're fucking rape, die. I hope you're pussy rots.

I hope you get rape death, contvenge abortion. I'm a bad, I'm so hot and I'm so bang. Yeah, it was pretty lame. So I learned about how are kind of retroactively and through the television show and my friend Chad. Chad. Every much of Chad as you think he is. Shout out Chad. Shout out Chad. He had serious examin' his truck. And so we would listen to Stern. He'd be like, oh, so and so's on Stern.

And I remember like in Tucson in the hot fucking summer, like going in his car and turning it on and us just sitting there looking like we're doing gay stuff. It's because we're just listening to an interview that Howard's doing. That was, once I discovered him when I was young. Because he was on in Philly. I mean, the, the, the,

the, uh, John Debello. John Debello. Well, that's who he booted off. Yeah, that was in, I read Miss America. Yeah. His book Miss America when he goes through the things of like I was gonna take his job, take his wife. And so he got his wife on the show.

Yeah, and he did. Did they get her to do a dial a date, too, or something? Like they got her like hooked up with somebody. Yeah, she was in. She was all in. So. And then they did the big funeral and philly form. He genuinely, when you talk to him, that is the problem with being on it so long that he has

Most of his time when it comes up. He just apologizes for everything now But it was great radio Well, I don't know you know, I don't know a lot but when I saw high pitched Eric I knew him and so he was just like having Super Bowl party conversations So he's like, yeah, I think the bands are pretty good The bands are a pretty good team. I don't know the cults seem nice. And then I was just drinking a beer.

Remember that soup, right? Yeah, and I was like, I know that dude. I was like, I know that dude. Oh, fish. But so you guys saw medicated Pete walking roaming the hallways. I just saw him walk past, so I'm gonna go get him. Yeah, Jacob.

We're gonna have him on. It can only help our ratings, Jacob. Boost the rating. Is that he was ratings? Yeah, dude. You miss the ratings meeting every week. There's a rating. Did you lose gonna go try to get Medicaid?

Well, he knows how to talk to him. He, Lew knows him, so Lew can hold up his hand and be like, hey, I'm safe. Come with me. I want to be your lover, lover boy. So you know this guy very well. Or through Howard. Through Howard, I know who he is.

Has he been on the show a while? Oh, yeah. Well, he was an intern there at first. And now he's in his 40s. So like, it's put that in the perspective. Is Jacob, Jacob, you're familiar with him? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. He was an intern. I don't know if he was an intern. I don't know if he yeah, yeah. I don't know. It was an intern.

I was named Howard since 88. So he was all came here because of Howard. Really? Came here to series XM? Yeah, wanted to work where Howard worked. That's awesome. And then he left before you. You know what? So one is how much he went out to the wilderness? Do you want to be? You know, it's so weird about that about how shit. Sometimes you see life given to shit, give you see sometimes you see life given to shit,

you see stuff in life given to people that don't give a shit, and when you're like, all that means so much. Like I've seen that happen, like I'm a huge Dave Chappelle fan. Some of my friends have become very good friends with Dave Chappelle. And you're like, oh man, I would appreciate that because I used to go see him live all the time. Similarly with Howard, I worked in radio, I worked at K-Rock. When I got hired at K-Rock, I didn't realize when they started like shutting shit down,

we were in the old Howard studio. I like ran the board that Howard, I got to take dumps in that bathroom that was like his studio bathroom. And I'm like, oh, I kinda know Howard. You know what I mean? Like you guys would have been like, oh fuck, that was Robbins. Because even I had that. They took me when Shulee or Richard Christie took me back there just to kind of look like after hours, just like look at the studios, it's neat.

It's a little museum in there of like his stuff. It was cool to see like Gary Puppet and all those things, the Beetlejuice head, just in the museum is pretty awesome. Yeah, but it was like, I didn't realize Westfick 40 West fit 40 West 57, you know, because even I was I was an opian ant think guy. So I was like, oh, opian antineer in here. And that's where fucking ants at. And that's where gym would sit. So I knew that stuff. And then one of the guys was like, you know, this was like Howard Stern's board. Like he built this thing. And I was like, oh shit. And then they showed me like the modified modifications he had on it. And all the stuff he had where he could control the board

and he's like, and then that was Robyn's booth and you're like, oh shit, all right, because it was this booth that was just isolated off. And then they put a big window, they had a window covered up. So yeah, so when it became Opie and Anthony studio, they were like, oh, put a window there. We wanna have like a window in the studio.

So they put this expensive window that had like a blackout blind come down Because I was like I don't remember this and then they showed me a picture of the Howard TV show and I was like oh That's how it was all situated, but it was just basically a bare room when I was in there But it was crazy to think like oh shit All right, this is pretty cool and then I got offended when the top 40 station because alternative 92 3 the station I worked out just flipped again the top 40 station because alternative 92-3 the station I worked out just flipped again. They became alternative and they just ended last. They were just talking about this.

He was making a big thing about you. K-Rock went to now it's now it's 10-10 wins, Simalcast. Yeah. So it was they switched back to... Oh, kidding. And they called it all... Well, they switched back to Alt 92-3, which is basically K-Rock. And they had it for a couple of years.

And I thought it was funny when I saw it alt 92 3 because I was like I got fired in No 9 because you guys went to top 40 but when the top 40 people came in and I was I was paid on Air shift money to teach them the system and board up. I was like they're like wow is Howard Stern's old board and I was like You don't get to touch it. I Wasn't even I'm not that big of a hard hit but I was still like possessive of it Or I was like you shut up with your top 40 with your Britney Spears and Lady Gaga Well, I couldn't see how terrestrial radio will survive at all like if you want one thing's for sure if you want to hear songs Wow, hey, no, hey happening He's in the bathroom I think all right.. All right. We'll stock him again.

We'll see. There's three other people dumping in there. I'm not waiting around. We get snacks. Yeah. We have snacks. All right. I started here.

I interned for Howard TV for one, when I first came here in 2006, and then engineering department at Sirius XM. The oldest living intern, I think. Yeah. I was like, my God. I'm seeing everyone. That's pretty much right here. Yeah, it was like, my God, I'm seeing everyone. That's great. Yeah, it's got to be nuts. Well, I was saying, as you said, you didn't have it in Denver, but like picture like a, I don't know, what year did he come

to Philly's? I wait to look that up. What year? I was thinking to Philly. Cause that would put me at about 11 or 12. And I remember taking the school bus. And when I got my first Sony Walkman, the yellow, Sony Sports Walkman, that clamped over the buttons. Yeah, it was tape. Yeah, with the tape, but it had a stick. You have the grip thing that you could shut. Yeah, you have.

Yeah, so I'm saying it's a sport walk. And then it clicks over to lock it in. That was my favorite one. And the 86. Oh, 86. Okay, so then I was, so perfect. So I was, what's that was born, 77. Yeah, mine. So give it a nine. So probably when I was so perfect. So I was What's I was born 77? So give it a night so probably when I was about 11 though or so

Going to school and putting on the radio and putting on 94 wise, which is the rock station Yeah, and that was on the one so you start hearing it and you'd be like, yeah How is this okay? That's great like I'm listening to it felt like when I was that young to like our rated radio Yeah, well because they because they pushed it right up to the line and then would get fucking fine That's great. Like I'm listening to, it felt like when I was that young to like R rated radio. Yeah. Well, it was because they pushed it right up to the line and then we'd get fucking fine. Right, you know, you'd hear him exactly. He'd be like, if you gave a mouth pleasure

to your husband, they'd find like the words around it. If you would give mouth pleasure to your significant other. I can't. And I'd just be like hearing that like, no, fucking way. I'm crazy. First thing I heard was the N word, Marjot at a Christmas song.

Marjot, yeah, Marjot the racist one. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, she owned the Reds. Yeah, I forgot that old lady to just smoke and said the N word. Didn't care. She just owned apparently in front of the players and everything. Yeah, she smoked it.

She walked in there and there's shower and she's a plantation owner. Dude, she was, yeah, Marjot. Remember that? Marjot. And she would just smoke cigarettes and be like, you're mine. You have a play second base for me. Show me your winner.

She was a good guy with me. What was the same time as that? John Rocker. Right, that was all those same things. I mean, I can't put it in time when people just keep getting trouble and baseball for racism. I just remember how funny it was

when Will Ferrell came out on weekend update. He was like, I think maybe a featured player and he came out as John Rocker. And was like oh yeah i remember crying laughing at that he's like oh yeah it's john maker was it fill you with it through the batteries item uh... no it's really for a great for him yeah yeah you said a lot of stuff up there that's great uh... i think it was good for rocker is calling quinter normic donald had the joke with their alike john rocker said you know isinter and Norma Donald had the joke where they were like, John Rocker said,

you know, his quote was like, I wonder if I wanna ride the Seven Train to Shay Stadium. It was all Metz fans. And he's like, with that, with a teenager with four kids and a gay guy with a purple mohawk and AIDS. And he like did that. And I think it was Colin and Norm goes, man, this guy's really ridden the Seven Train.

I never got to which Colin got that guy. This guy's definitely rodeden the seven train I forgot which collar good that goes guys definitely But it was and then yeah, but it was will Ferrell is John rockers fucking hilarious But yeah, that was around the same time I think like mid 90s and then I felt the same thing at late night With a love line. Oh shit. Oh, I'm hearing like like I was almost like my mom Oh shit, I'm hearing like like I was almost like my mom doesn't know that I'm listening to something so Suncher AC yeah race so ex ex and Stern just like the other thing made me laugh to just got me laughing in the morning I just loved it. I know there's comedy on my on my radio because when you find your guy You like found your guy. Yeah, this is my shit. Yours for wax? Yeah, mine was Lewis actually. Yeah, mine was Conan.

When Conan took over late night, I like started watching it. And I was like, it was the perfect amount of silly for the age I was that I was like, this guy fucking is so weird. You get attached to the bits like the UG files and all that stuff. That was the story I told you about

when that giant cholo in Arizona When I went to go get milk and I was high I've been smoking resin after class And so I was like resin high and I I went to fries grocery store it off I know road the one where that fucking Congresswoman got shot in the face Gabby what's your face? Yeah, it was that same fucking Parking lot, but I'm high I parked the ass. I walk into fries and I'm out loud going In the year 2000 and I'm making myself laugh because I just Comedy essentially used to rerun Conan during the afternoon and I ran out of milk and I was like eating cereals I'm gonna go get milk and I walk in and I'm doing that and I laughed to myself and this fucking I just hear this

What do you laugh in our white boy? when I walk in and I'm doing that, I laugh to myself and this fucking, I just hear this. What are you laughing at, why boy? They look over and this giant Mexican dude, choloed out, white t-shirt, shaved head, fucking long, dicky shorts or whatever. Probably six foot six, over 250 pounds, is holding the tiniest baby I've ever seen in my life. Okay.

He's just holding this little peanut of a baby. And I'm like, oh. Didn't see that coming in the description. Didn't tell you this was a mix of resin high and terinoia. And I like, I, because I'm walking in circles. In the year 2000. And I'm like, like laughing like that. And he goes, what you laughing at white boy?

And I go, he can't be talking to me Yeah, look back and he goes excuse me. He goes what you laughing out white boy and takes a little baby and hands it to the mom Oh, it's right out here. He just puts it down. No, it's right down on the floor on the linoleum What's up, dude? And he just and I I'm like I was walking away so I go and I'm walking and I turn a corner on the aisle to go to the dairy section and he's behind me but like a Little a little bit behind me, but going was funny thing was so funny and I'm like Still like

Get in with the weird situation you're in right there is because if you turn around and explain it You feel like a pussy for explaining it. Yes. It's like, it felt weird. I didn't know it was a bit weird, but you're like, you're going to turn around and explain something to them and something about masculinity makes you feel like you're doing. I'm saying this so he doesn't beat me up. Which is 100% wild, I'd be doing it.

No, of course, but I'm saying, but there's also the thing of just the explanation that you're like, dude, what do you follow? It's like, I'm laughing at a thing from TV. I'm actually like, I watch Conan. Yeah. So I get the milk and when I get to milk, I like, turn the corner again and there's all the cash registers

and this is before self-checkout or whatever. And so I'm like, and then he's like, what's funny and I hear him again and I turn it and I go down the thing to pay and another lady from the other side comes like her and her daughter comes in. Box me. I'm paying for it.

I'm up. I'm up. They're there and the guy's behind them going like, what's up? And I'm like, are you serious? I think the first thing I said to him, I go, are you serious? He goes, what the fuck's funny, man?

And I was like, I, yeah. And I'm like, as this is happening, I'm giving you like a $5 bill for a down in the milk and I'm like, I, yeah, and I'm like, as this is happening, I'm giving it like a $5 bill for a gallon of milk and I'm like, I fucking bolted it. Ran. They gave me the change and I fucking was like, in my high mind, I was like, just get out of there and I fucking bolted. Got to my car. You're not crazy wrong.

Because your thing is like you want to describe it, but like, he's already so in like the mode, like going for like angry looking for a problem. I'm saying like if you gave the answer I feel like that wouldn't even solve the problem. Why not you were what else? Yeah, gingers ain't got no soul. They're not funny. Yeah, yo bro. You're telling me you like when you wrote for the Simpsons You're trying to tell me right now that the monorail episode is it without a doubt one of the top five you didn't even do a good Triassal horror bro. Fuck that shit. Yo shit yo waitle. I'm telling you right now. Tell me white writers. I'm telling you right now man Even when he played right said Fred and they're all like Napster controversy thing and he showed up without the muscles I get the joke that he didn't have money enough for it like you know

He's too sexy for his gym membership that like that's a good line. This comedy is too heavy for late night. Waitle you can masturbatingating bearing gonna catch legs bro. That ain't funny bro. Well you got a dog this moxissic ar bro. What is this? That's that on our Schwarzenegger's real mouth. Stop it man. Why do George Bush don't talk like that bro. Yeah he's fucking. You ain't got an angry anyway. Anything I would have got. Who the broke down the comedy of it? His greatest. What is the point of Andy Richter, bro?

Yeah. Like, a wetta. He's there? Me, and he's not there. Me, that like easy your Ed McMahon, or is he like an announcer, bro? Like I don't even know what you're doing, bro. It's so weird.

It's scary from the get-go. You're just like, but what a, the telling psychological thing on that gut. Fast forward to me pouring milk and apple jacks shaking Trying to eat cereal nervous watching comedy central Man it's the same way Yeah, the psychology bolt out of there to say that leave the psychology Of it though. I feel so weird because like,

that guy is so on edge. Yeah, well he was ready. He's assumed, because the person's laughing is vicinity, they're laughing at him. He feels so disrespected in life. What a weird thing. And we all smoke weed in here. Jay, Jacob, you love to blaze.

Yeah, I've just always. Jacob burning bush, Patat. We call him the iron lung. It was one of those to Cal baton. Take a take out take out. Take out. It was one of those highs where I was trying to understand as it was happening and it wasn't clicking.

Sure, which I've experienced. I mean, this was 20 years ago. You have weed panic, you're like, am I being jumped into a gang right now? I can't be a fucking, I don't wanna be a Serrano 13. Yeah, it is. Am I allowed to be a Roll and Doo Stoos? Am I allowed to be a Roll and Doo Stoos? Am I allowed to be a Roll and Doo Stoos?

Did they just make me a Latin game? You know, you're gonna tell me right now that you even think that Jay Leno in his observational humor of modern day stuff Man that like I did see this I do know about this Jay Where's that Boston stuff, bro? Oh that last on the last season that 60 days in yeah, I'm all finished at the whole show You all caught up. Yeah, the last season they put people in who have done time before yeah And they put in a former Latin King who couldn't say more that he was involved with the Latin Kings back in the day

and how violently he got out of it. But he went native. That was the funniest thing. He did, they keep pulling them out and they'd be like, are you doing drugs that you're like trying and the proof that you can get? And he's like, yeah. Yeah.

Like the third thing you did, they had to like pull them out early. He's like, why'd you pull me out early? And they're like, dude, you're just like, we're going to have to arrest you at some point. We have you on tape trying to orchestrate another Attica I had him People to fight for he sent like a 17 year old kid to fight for him He did like a couple things that were like and he's like could be even talk they talk the talk so good

He's like I want to inspire these kids like this kid Nick who's like a 17 year old 18 year old 17 year old white kid with like face tattoos and shit white kid and who's like a 17 year old, 18 year old, 17. Yeah. You're old white kid with like face tattoos and shit white kid. And who's just like, you know, he talks, he's like, you know, I didn't choose gang like gang life chose me as like that kid. And they like him though. And they're trying to like, so when they talk to them, they're like, dude, when you come out, like you have to get life on track, like being in a jail

is not the life at all. And then they'll come over and a bit Carlos. That's the guy who's undercover. Yeah. So that Carlos, this guy said that he thinks you're a jerk off. And then that kid, Nick will be like, oh my god, knock him and fuck out. And then Carlos will be like, yeah, go play him for him. And then like, did you just say you're trying to help this kid out of the situation? Actually, you know what? Even better. Here's a shiv that I made out of a two-star. Hey, Nick, go kill him. Can you make sure?

But if you do ever get out of here, seriously, you should think about community college. I don't know. Maybe get into engineering. Yeah. You know, there's text schools out there that'll keep, excuse me what? Oh, Nick, go murder that guy from your old quick.

You're talking about that guy who couldn't wait to tell you how much he was in with Latin kings. Yeah. My dad's friends. And I think this is common with old alcoholics. Blue, I don't know if your dad's friends were like this, where they'll like put themselves next to a dangerous organization without being involved, but talk about how close they were to the said organization.

Did they did that a lot? My dad said he was a fucking Westie. Yeah, dude. My dad would talk about the health. My dad would talk about the hell's angels in Oakland, because my dad was from East Oakland until he was like 10 or Yeah, dude. My dad would talk about the health. It's so great. My dad would talk about the hell's angels in Oakland, because my dad was from East Oakland until he was like 10 or whatever, 11. And he's like, yes, sunny bar dream.

Like, he didn't know any of those guys. You didn't know, fuck it. Oh, my dad did that. My dad did that with a chicken sal test of the guy they blew up in South Philly. Yeah, well, chicken man last night. In Philly last night. Yeah, the sal test and all those guys.

He's a good one. Apparently, they knew all their. They said they were right. They were right there, but they used to kick the asses of those kids. Of course they did. My dad was always my dad's thing was always he was so funny. He was funny and nice. So the hell's anyone liked? They liked them. That's a good approach. That's better. I mean, it's not a better dad story, but it's a better story to believe at your age now, possibly then my dad being heavily involved with fighting mafia sons. Yeah, wait a minute.

Fimess me Gary. He gave me the good stuff. He gave me like stuff where I was like, I think my dad might have been down with the A.J.s. I go by their I go by their fucking clubhouse on fourth street ago. Does the name Gary Soda ring any bells? And they go, I'm gonna beat your pussy ass if you don't get off this doorstop. My dad was like I've seen my dad in a few physical things before him. That's a big man. And like one of them when we went to be his old guy now but like he's in mid 60s. Yeah but when I mean I met him fucking seven years ago and I was like

it's a big dude. Yeah and he's like he's in his big hands. He's got paws. Yeah. And, uh, I remember him, Michael Tommy when I was young. We were, I was at Michael Tommy's. Yeah. House and South Philly with him. And, uh, it was not like we were looking out their window. They were like on a second or third floor. We looked at their window and there's just people, uh, like jumping on someone's car, like someone's in the middle of the street driving on the street in a car and he's young people are get jumping on someone's car, like someone's in the middle of the street driving on the street in a car and these young people are like, get jumping on their car and fucking with them,

like harassing them. And like my dad and Uncle Tommy's instincts were like, run outside and like chase those kids off of stuff, I was like, yo, well that was like a violent situation happening out there and they're just like, we gotta go handle some shit. Like, are you crazy? Total opposite side of it.

Same story. But my dad's in his thirties at this? Total opposite side of it. Same story. But my dad's in his 30s at this point, consider too. Yeah. Same story opposite side. Joe, bad Joe. Not good Joe. You got a good Joe.

I got bad Joe. When bad Joe was living with us, drinking with my mom, we had, I had a Nick had got me a, when my mom was married, Nick got me a basketball hoop, like an adjustable one. I put it just below, it was one of the ones. Wait, Nick was before Joe? Yeah. My mom married Nick from when I was eight to 11. And then, yeah, Joe was in our house.

I thought Joe was in me, I thought your dad split and Joe jumped right in. No, my dad split, my mom married Nick, years down the road, got a hold of Joe. Okay. And they started dating when I was like 12. Okay. And then he lived with us until I was 16.

So that's when I was like getting to the age where I could have fought him. Yeah. And he moved out, moved out just when I made weight. But he, they would drink and there was these, there was like older kids in my neighborhood. This kid Sean Washington and Rodel, and they were like play basketball at the corner.

They were like two or three years older than me. So they were like, my name's well, it's been 10 years older than me. I was a rekey mountain yelled at a black kid. They were all dunk basketball at the corner. They were like two or three years older than me. So they were like, my name's old Ben ten years older than me. I was a rekey mountain yelled at a black kid. They were all dunking on the hoop because it was like Friday night and he was drunk and he's like, I got fucking something to say and I was just in the living room like knock his ass out.

You went in the knock his ass out? I was like, Ro Del, I know you can find it. I've seen it at school. Knock Jo's ass out. Maybe the first time someone goes to school and thanking a kid for knocking his stepfather up the next day. I just, dude, you really made my house a lot better.

Activities hallway. You know, the bench clears, and I'm standing there. I go, rodeo. I just want to thank you. Yeah, it's, you're a good, you had the right thing. Hey, good right hook. You got a hell of a right hook, kid. You followed your instincts.

Joe was a little quiet last night, I'd like to say. I was just saying, we're eating soup at home for a couple weeks, cause of you. Good job, bro. Oh, dude, I fucking was like, when he went outside my mom was, you know, the drunk lady going, Joe, don't do it. And I was just in the living room like, do it.

Do it. So funny. We always, we always speak on the generalized emotions and stuff. And everything. So I'm trying to think of like, I'm trying to think of there's a moment like my stepmother is like my Joe. We always speak on the generalized emotions and stuff and everything. I'm trying to think of like, I'm trying to think of there's a moment like my stepmother is like my Joe. Yeah, she absolutely was. To some degree and it worked my year Joe.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Diane was your Joe. And it's like, they do mean shit to kids that they shouldn't do to kids. You're like, hey, first off, it's a child. Second off, it's not even your child. Dude, I watch my mom. Well, I think that's what bum's dying out, but like Doesn't matter but I know I don't know if I ever wished for because that's what I'm saying like With Joe was there would you say it was 70% fine time? I would say it was like it was like livable 70% of the time like you didn't overthink it

Do you know I mean like every time every time. Like you didn't overthink it. Do you know what I mean? Every time, every time, every time. I didn't like him pretty quick. I'm saying you didn't like him like consistently. It wasn't like a thing where once in a while, he would be like, hey, you want to watch a movie or something or go get something. I would always get annoyed with him.

Did he ever try to like reach out and do like a real one to my mom was over? Really? Yeah, and one of my mom was like, as guy fucking sucks, he's a loser. He started being super cool to me and it got me at first because I was like 15. I knew you needed that that that support. He watched my dad die. Yeah. So he was like, oh, I got this kid and he was like, you know, and then he would do that shit of like, you know, your mom's

like going fucking nuts or whatever. And I'd be like, yeah, fuck her. Cause I didn't like her at the time. Yeah, fuck her, the fucking dumb bitch, right? And he's like, yeah, right? And then I was like, you get me so much, Joe. I'll swim with you. Dude, let's go take a lap. Can we do lap? Let's go bang out some laps, dude.

And then I started seeing it and I was like, oh, you're a piece of shit. Yeah. Like once I saw that, I was like, oh, you're a fucking double down piece of shit. Yeah, you're like a snake. I thought you were just a dork. Because there's gotta be, if you go through

the defending your life movies of my life, there's gotta be me and Diane just like, head into the mall together and being fine. Dude, my mom, you know what I mean? Just like talking and laughing a little bit. And it's like, I do remember making her laugh. She, that's her big thing when she critiques my comedy. Yeah. Unasked for is, it's always like, oh, critiques my comedy. Yeah.

Unasked for is it's always like, oh, you're so funny. And she always reminds me of like a thing when I made them laugh with my, it was like busting my dad's balls while he was trying to fix something. Yeah. And I was laughing at how he couldn't do it and making like jokes.

Yeah. And like she loved that. You know what I mean? Like it's, so there is like weird moments that she just overall was like annoyed by that I existed. Like I was in the way of her family You will because what you are is your reminder of his past right? You're just you're just a reminder of Gary's past and she's like and I come in with my personality already

And I mean I already have a personality. It's not like I'm four years old or something. It's just like She's gonna watch me develop. I would just what I was and didn't like it And that's probably the exact same thing that Joe had. Because Joe's like dating my mom, his former best friend that's just a raging alcoholic that showed up at his wedding. Joe's old wedding from the lady got the horse from my dad showed up as wedding threw up. It was like a problem.

Speaking of, for your piece, he goes, I've got, he was like, you're dead. That was all. You're dead through up in the fireplace and I was like, that is hilarious. Really? Yeah, I was like, if you're gonna throw up, threw up in the fireplace and I was like that is hilarious really yeah I was like that if I mean if you're gonna throw out fucking boot in the fireplace

But he didn't like you know, I was like I was 12 when he did so I was like Yeah, a little bit of Gary. I mean he's probably like this motherfucker, but then you they were just mean they're just drunk and mean That was the difference my mom and Joe oh both Yeah, they get drunk and then just fucking like start feeding off each other like us riffing with mean at each other Mean to me there were both that was their common goal your mom would be mean to you. Yeah, they called it retarded and shit Like legit at dinner they'd'd be like, you're fucking stupid. You're like, I am not, as you take a bite of chicken and drink milk.

Yeah. Which they serve. So I am not. I'm not retarded. They had a surgery, they gave you retard food. They gave you retard food and called me retarded. He goes, it called me retarded. Now I would just sit there sipping my apple sauce for dinner.

I go, I bang on my helmet, and they wouldn't even hear it. They don't care. They don't care. Yeah, but they were just like, I'd have slobber all over my chin and no one would wipe it It's some shit that I've it's some shit that's like through therapy. I talked to my mom about I was like yeah, we got a fucking square this up. That was fucked up and she was like yeah Very embarrassed by that really yeah, my mom's mortified about it when we talk about those four years She's like I was in a very dark place. I should I had no business dating that man

And I'm sorry I brought him in your house and I was like, oh, that was damn. Yeah, what a one shot and done forgiveness It really right away is gonna go. Okay. Yeah, it was a 45 minute conversation of us like you also realize very shitty bringing it up It felt very bad bringing it up, but I was like, you know, do you remember those dinners and she was like He has a little drunk. Don't really remember this This is what age brings to you though, to you. Yeah. Is the perspective one of above all else, time. So the reality is like, it's four years of your life when you're 12 to 16.

It's a lifetime. It's most of your, in your mind of your aware and know what you like and don't like life. It's also, it's like half, it's like half your life. But also the timeline of it, it feels because it's four years and that feels so important, it feels like it's never ending.

Right, as I'm saying, but your mom even at that time, it was like, oh, that was like quick, you know what I mean? Yeah, my mom wasn't that long of a time, but like for you at that time, I was like, man, I was just ever gonna end like four years is a long time in the miserable thing Well also the thing is I got older so like it was easier to stay over when it first started I was in like seventh and eighth grade so I just stay at McDaniel's house because I knew they get banged up on the weekends Because my mom had a she worked fucking like 60 70 hours a week

Mm-hmm So I knew on the weekends when they ripped. They get tuned. So I was like, oh, if I can stay over Friday, Saturday, night, and McDonald's house, when I come home Sunday, they don't get, they'll get a little bang up on Sunday. Hit the drink. They drink every night. What was his parents' story?

Just the normal regular people. Fucking ruled. Donna and Gary, he had a Gary, but he had a good Gary. His stepdad worked for the Broncos. And they fucking ruled. His mom, every time I see her to this day, I'm like, are they still together? No, no, no, they got divorced when Mike was in college.

But Gary was the first positive male role model that I had. He was the first guy that like, I would go to his house and he'd be like, You told you he met DJ Lou, and then I was like, you're it. You're my role model. But he was like smoked weed, you know, Mike's mom was hot. Yeah, yeah

We're younger Mike's mom like she was don was hot. What you like that black D No, he was white. I thought he's half black. Well, his dad his dad was biological dad. He's a quarter black Yeah, I got a I got to fix his complain article now But it was like a good it was a good place to go. You had houses like that, right? I mean, but your mom and I always thought I liked the houses that you can go to where you were allowed to smoke weed and the kids were Like the drinks that wasn't that house. We weren't allowed to smoke weed and drink. I could just stay at his house Oh, we were still kids that was got you got you got you it wasn't like we weren't a lot We were definitely not allowed to smoke cigarettes definitely weren't allowed to drink. I would sneak out and do that

So just someone's house where it was pure goodness. Pure goodness. Yeah, there's like several, I think. I mean, dude, it was like Friday, I would bring. My house was essentially that. I mean, everybody smoked like my mom and step other both smoked cigarettes and they smoked inside, but that wasn't crazy at the time.

And the other, but like they, my house was always like a quarter. Well, it turns out we found out Gary, Mike Stepdad smoked a shit ton of weed and it made sense because you're like, my house was always like a quarter. Well, it turns out we found out Gary, Mike's stuff had smoked a shit on a weed, and it made sense, because you're like, you were cool as fuck dude. But nobody smoked weed, my house, no, my parents didn't smoke or drink at all, except cigarettes. No weed or anything like that, and no drugs.

So my house was like, it was unconventional. Yeah. The way it kinda ran, very unconventional for sure, but it was always like friends very welcome and like it wasn't a place like where you can come and do whatever the fuck you want. But like, now see, it was crazy. It was crazy for happy to have people over.

My house, even though my mom and Joe were fucking banged up all the time, it was very conventional. Dinner was at six. Yeah, yeah. Like friends coming over was like, you had to ask for permission. My mom was very like classic in how she kind of ran shit, but then it just sucked,

it just sucked on top, cause if you were, you had all these rules, and then they would get fucking drunk and get meanin' shit. Can I remember one time my mom and friends? That is weird, that's a weird thing. That's what I'm saying. My house, unconventional.

My friends, like I probably have friends, like you're saying about a- Oh dude, going to McDaniel's mom. I probably have friends that are like, man, I was really like, you know friends like you're saying about a dude going to Mac Daniel's mom I probably have friends that are like man. I was really like you know like my buddy Glenn It could save a lot of my house, man my going head is front of his foot removed From cancer He like stayed at my like recouped my house for like two months. Yeah, his dad just worked and was just really not there that much It was great to have a mom in his life. And I remember like sleeping over at McDonald's house

like one time during the week, because my mom was like business trip or whatever. And I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna go to McDonald's like a walk to school. I think we were like freshman at that point. Or the middle school is right next to high school. So it was like close enough. I was like, I can just walk with McDonald and she'd be like,

yeah, whatever, she was busy. So she was like, yeah, okay, fine. What I don't give a shit. Donna and Gary are cool. They were good parents and they were like fun. We do like fun shit and then Gary would just take me to the Broncos facility. He'd be like, and I was a minor fan.

Yeah, I'd be like, oh shit, but he'd be like, pissing everybody's pads. But I got to meet like, when I got to meet like the people that worked at the facility, I thought that was cool. Like he would be like, hey, if you run, like they used to tape. So Gary would be worked at the facility. I thought that was cool Like the like he would be like hey if you run like They used to tape so Gary would be up in the in the stadium his job was the videographer So he'd film all the games for the Broncos from a specific angle and then his job was to break down the tape

Into like first and 10s second and longs third and longs and he'd have that was what he'd do all week So he would be like you want to come help me out? I'll give you a little bit of money if you come help me out at the facility and I was like, dude Even though I was in a bronchofan, I'd get a free shirt and then I'd get to like clear tapes and that was McDaniel stepdad. Yeah, and he would just take just you well, McDaniel would be ballboy I want you to overthink right now. McDaniel was their ballboy dig deep. He did not fuck me. Okay Trust me. Dude, a loud and soft.

I'm sorry. I've done enough therapy to wish that I was molested. I've molested, yeah. Cause then it's just explaining things. It was the thing. Instead of it just being life, and life is hard to stand up for yourself and all this shit. Finding out like, oh yeah, it turns out I suck Gary's dick

where I was fucking 12 now. Oh, Gary was face fucking, I had a time because I thought I was meeting the Broncos people. What's crazy about that is he molested me with niceness. I was it used to, I wasn't used to people being that kind of thing. He could have molested me. I fell in love with that guy. I was so, asking McDaniel, I was like, I want to grow up to be like Gary. And he'd be like, what?

McDaniel, because McDaniel was cool. Like, I know he's like kind of a nerd now compared to these alpha males in the NFL. and he'd be like, what? Because McDonald's cool. Like I know he's kind of a nerd now compared to these alpha males in the NFL. McDonald had style and shit. Read to me is nerd. Well, that's how they like class farm because he's like good at coaching

and he's not an alpha big brawny guy. Gotcha. But he was like very good with women, very stylish. His mom was very stylish. So like, McDonald always had like cool. When we became friends in seventh grade He had the king Griffey juniors. Yeah, and I had the fucking Frank Thomas big hurts from Reebok Because they're on sale at pay less guy got your choice

Yeah, and then try to fuck my girlfriend Probably dead And then now so like McDaniel was like kind of cool And so I just like to go in there to be like, oh this is like, it was like fancy camp. You're like, oh this is what it, they had a nice house in Piney Creek, which was like the newer development.

So like the house was newer. Because people were supposed to live. Yeah dude, and then I just like would just, I would just bleach off them. I would just come and eat their food and shit. I can understand being annoying. They got EAS, do you guys remember EAS from the NFL started like putting that out?

EAS was like, it was like a supplement. If you bring it up, Black Lou, it was like a supplement that they gave. Oh, like a GNC. That's the same thing. Yeah, similarly in the WWE icon pro was like all over there in the back of old wrestling stuff. Because they give supplements.

But EAS was like specifically the Broncos. And it was like, oh oh the Broncos and EAS But they had these instant chocolate milkshakes and I would be at McDonald's house and I'd be like yellow I'm like yellow. Let me get an EAS and maybe like dude you can't Gary brings this home from the facility and I'd be like He's a girl. Let me go into those EAS. Let me get juice up. Yeah It's funny. It's the acronym. Yes, so that's it. That's EAS. Yes, so they're still around. And they would do like weight gain milkshakes,

which you can drink when you're fucking 12 in your metabolism's wild. Sure. Well, my metabolism was not wild when I was 12. And I remember finding out, because I was like, when my great grandmother would come over, the grandfather's mom, yeah, after he passed away, she lived for like many years after that.

And she would come up very old and you know, they have to put weight on them. So they would get insures, yeah, that were chocolate or vanilla. And then she only came over like once a week. So during the week, man, God forbid I found one of those. And I was just like, in my mind, I was like, chocolate shake, it's all it is. Shake in a can, and it was so good, and it was probably 4,000 calories. You know what we need to do next Thursday?

For next Thursday show? Crush the mentors. Next Tuesday, we need to bring in all of the science food that we used to eat. Snack wells, ensure. Oh, David and Vivian drinking ensure a day. Do that the 30 the mega one the 30 programs approach. I got to get it Okay, yeah, I got to get my grandma on that. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some ensures I don't know It's at least about yes, that age they can't take in enough. No

Yeah, but it but at 12 years old at 12 years old I was gunning for his weekend and shades and the Daniel would get so fucking annoyed She's not bad for you. These are 150 calories only. Yeah. Well, we'll do that. Let's do some ensure Max protein. It was like to keep my great-grandmother alive. That's what I got to give my It's like but dude with the EAS I was doing it because I was just like a 12 year old who wanted a chocolate Chocolate after school and he'd be like no, we're gonna go ride bikes because I was just like a 12 year old who wanted a chocolate chip after school. And he'd be like, no, we're gonna go ride bikes. And I'd be like, can I have an AAS mark on that? Yeah, let me crack one of those AASs. And I was the friend.

Dan, look, we have a diet Pepsi, Pepsi, Mountain Delias. We know one of them. I loved it because I didn't know what it was. It was like 12 and my tastes are right trash. He was like, I don't know what's going on here. I drink these shakes and I'm making massive gains. I am fucking yoked. Is it just me or did my fucking lats come in?

I'm making such massive gains. Something fierce, but dude Gary would do cool shit. He would do it, which is illegal now after 9-11, but he would take M-80s. And then he would take a cigarette, rip it in half, put the, the wick of the M80 into the cigarette into the top half and then light the cigarette and then put it and then we go sit in his car and watch the M80 pop off and people run.

It's fucked up. But it was pretty fucked up so close to Columbine. I mean, this was years before Columbine. Yeah. Some say we were the inspo. Yeah, they saw that. Those kids saw them. They were like, man, look at how much people scat

or how much power you have. Eric Harris was smoking a cigarette. He goes, what if we did it for real? Yeah, we show it. We show it full penetrating. We show it. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!