The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Ratfaces of Hollywood

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

Find out who are the Rat Boys of Hollywood and why they are called that. The guys discover that Tove Lo takes her top off at every performance. Steve Guttenberg is a motivational influencer and Bobby is here for it. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

Yeah, yeah, yeah If you need a little humor just to break up the day Bonfire is the way Monday through Friday We got Bobby, Jay, Christine and Jacob Can't forget the two Lou stories that you can't make up They talk about everything all in good context When it comes to radio, no it's no contest Every day is something new

They gon' leave you wanting more Grab a drink and some smores We got so much in store It's the bonfire Come on! Hey nah, hey nah, hey nah, hey nah We never knew how to forfeit Hey nah, hey nah, hey nah

But we always knew how to talk shit Hey nah, hey nah, hey nah Couple nights, do gasoline on the fire We never knew how to perfect But we always knew it would work us If something misread or if something got said No, before the night ends No, don't get stressed, it's gonna get figured out

Oh, the conversation that no apple loves Hey, a strong father and a determined mother Oh, that's why some nights we try to cheat each other But you know it's always love We never knew how to fake it But we always knew how to fake it But we always knew how to break shit Couple nights, dope gasoline on the fire Ooh, there's something that's rare Ooh, there's something God said

Ooh, the bubble night ends No, don't get stressed, it's long You figure it out Oh, deep conversations I threw up a lot Head strong, I'm bothered We were determined by us Only to be left behind Oh, that's why some nights we tried to kill each other, but you know it's always love. What up?

Wait Bobby. Yes sir. Do you think this is still part of the Bonfire song? What is this? Who is this? Is this of the bonfire song? What is this? Who is this? Is this not the bonfire song? The opening was a man named Bucky P and then this is a more famous person. This is awesome. More famous people. I love this. Of course you do. I wanna fucking dance. It's the Jonas Brothers. I love them. Kill each other.

Kill each other. This should be a good song. I thought this was a submission. No, this is just one of them songs I put on. You can't not be happy when this plays. Let me say something. First of all, you're right. Second of all, this is a hit. This is talking about us.

We fight sometimes. Didn't I hear it put something on the fire? Yeah. We fight sometimes. Beedoo, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Didn't I hear it put something on the fire? Yeah. Yeah, this is... I love this song. But how did you think I was singing along with the words? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't listen to you. You think I listen to you? Fuck, I see your face moving. I just nod. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Sure. Okay.

Uh-huh, okay. Yeah, okay. It's the lost tapes, everybody. It. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's the lost tapes, everybody. It's the bonfire. Tell me the name again, Lou? Bucky P. Bucky P. with a great submission.

That was great. That was very fun. Now, unfortunately, I feel like I buried it for you with Bobby thinking that your song jumped into Jonas Brothers Waffle House. I thought it was two submissions. Can you give me Howard Stern compression, please? Thanks. If you wouldn't mind. There it is right there. I thought it was two submissions. Can you give me Howard Stern compression, please? Thanks. If you wouldn't mind.

There it is right there. There's the guy. Ooh. Hey, what's going on? Welcome to the bonfire. Welcome to the bonfire. Buddy, I was coming through, I had to go to therapy today.

Funny, a lot of guys went to therapy today. A lot of people went to therapy. It was a string of people you know I know walking out. Yeah It's called the regs But I was walking through Washington Square Park we're redoing the comedy solar studios and Finally making it into a seven 4k cameras. It's the shit there. I love it. There's room for people, come up, we're gonna guess up. There's a bar, secret door, you click with a magnet

and it opens up into another place. So I'm going over there, I digress. And, thanks, I'm pretty sure I got it right. And, you know, I'm an influencer, I'm an influencer. Of course, influencer Bobby. Yeah, I have the meta glasses on. I didn't use them in this case, I should have. I didn't even turn them on.

Dude, you're always ready for content. Bobby Contents. Listen to me, when Hollywood comes knocking, Bert move over. Oh, exactly. Yeah. Make way. Yeah.

For sure. Yeah, my tour is gonna be in Africa. We're gonna hunt lions. Oh, I like that. As we speak right now, I sit waiting to go on, probably profusely sweating in, what time is it? In Arkansas, Rogers, Arkansas. I'll be in Rogers, Arkansas really feeling swampy,

if you know what I mean. Oh, I saw you on the rollercoaster, how wet you were. You had a nice wet arm. Oh, it was raining. Oh, okay. It rained the whole time. I thought you were nervous that the bar wasn't gonna click.

No, but I'll tell you, I, for the first, I said fitting on all the roller coasters, which was a big deal. We went to Darien Lake Six Flags for a little bit and went to the five roller coasters that were open. And I was able to get on all of them. One of them, last time I did it, same coaster, I couldn't get on.

So this time I was able to, and it was so casual, matter of them, last time I did it, same coaster, I couldn't get on. So this time I was able to, and it was so casual, matter of fact, when they do the check, like the check thing for me is when they start checking you know, the harnesses or whatever, is when they come and you go, here we go, here's the moment of truth. And just like everybody else, they were just like clink, clink, clink, and they keep moving on

and I'd be like, is it okay? They're like, huh? I'm like, is it okay it okay? They go yeah we would tell you if it's not okay I go because you just kind of very casually did it usually there's a whole to do here. There's a big to do. There's a team. Usually there's a big to do when I try to get on this ride. We have one in seat four row three. Oh yeah the one particularly Christine watched me and also removed herself from. I fully work by me by the way that was a walkie-talkie I'm pretty sure the people at home didn't know that that wasn't Lou Yes, we have a big guy at row three

Buddy I Told you when I went to, I have it in my act, the joke about it in my act, where I took Max on a roller coaster and it got one click, and then the guy was like, I need three clicks. And I was like, dude, I got a click. I don't really want to go through this, please. I didn't think I was gonna,

I thought I was not gonna get on the ride, I did. But there was two feet between Max's chest and the bar. The bar needed to go down two more clicks. Of course, for him. So he wouldn't die. on the ride I did but there was two feet between Max's chest and the bar the bar needed to go down two more clicks so he wouldn't die but they had a woman this fat fat woman just saying you with a fat so he went yo Helen I need you and she came over this big fat woman came Helen I need you she just sits there just eating all day waiting as shit we need a a fat soda keep this bar evened out She was eating pasta. I swear got in a bowl. No she had a bowl of pasta. I'm using work. No sauce

She just had a bowl of like ziti in a bowl. That's not even eating. That's feeding She was feet stop interrupting her feeding she she walked over to my bar didn't smile didn't say anything just walked over and went and She walked over to my bar, didn't smile, didn't say anything, just walked over and went, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I had a soda next to me on all these rides. Mm-hmm. So like they're Pushing to him. Yeah, so he doesn't exactly so it's like they're pushing him and then you just got to be like They're like are you comfortable is too tight? You're like You see one of your kidneys popping out of here no, it's better that this holds my liver in place now in case No, it's better that this holds my liver in place now in case So I was walking through you know These influencer guys that you know the offer if you can do this pick up this dumbbell or you can break this thing or whatever I'll give you a hundred bucks. So I'm walking through Washington Square Park

There's one of these dudes who I know I've seen them on Instagram or whatever the fuck I'm looking at Maybe Facebook or whatever because I'm old And I don't do tick-tock. Oh God bless America influence Fuck you China. So I right-wing Bob so Hashtag start Chinese hate I'm wearing my Trump sneakers to skank fest by the way skank fest bonfire. I'm gonna With your golden wings. I am wearing my golden wings.

Oh, I love it. So I'm walking through and I see him right away. He walks right up to me, he goes, hey man, for 100 bucks, can you try to break this gorilla? He goes, break this monkey, like a mushy monkey. You know those stretched Armstrongs? Sure. Something like that.

And I was like, yeah, sure. Something happening? It's my old stomach talking to me. Is your tapeworm screaming for help? I don't have a death. And I was like, yeah, sure. I was Something happening It's my old stomach tapeworm screaming for help I give you too much juice Bring me down to Robin. Oh right there. Is that good? That's better. I can't my stomach my skin Sorry So he grant he goes break this I go. Yeah. Yeah, I'll fight. I go hold my back. So he took my bag You guys hearing this

So he's uh, so he so he's uh, sorry I'm Smaller but I live. I'm growing. I'm becoming aware. My stomach. My stomach is becoming bigger and bigger every day. I'm coming for you, Robert. So I'm coming for you, Robert. So I'm... You ever see it when they show you the outside of a volcano and then they go show you down the hole, like all the chaos happening inside?

Outside is just stoic. I think it's because I'm so nervous to fart in the studio now. Your farts come out through your stomach, through your mouth? You guys fart shame me so much. I don't fart shame you at all. Well, you guys, I mean, Jake, fart shames me. I'm appalled at the action of it, but I don't make a whole scene.

All right, you don't, you don't. But not in front of my face. No. But, so, I, I can't, can't, can't tell the story. It's very, So, go ahead, let's just ignore it dude. So Max.

We'll ignore it. No, not Max. So I go hold my bag, but then he just holds it. I go no, I make him put my bag over his chest and he got annoyed, because he didn't know he's dealing with an influencer too. I'm not letting you just rule the influence. I'm influencer Bobby.

You don't understand who you're dealing with. He thought he was just dealing with some random middle-aged guy. Piece of shit. That's trying to look young, right? I think these sound effects are making you nervous. It sounds like dueling banjos of blues drops and your actual stomach answering.

So I made him put my bag on, which kind of annoyed him. I go, no, put it on right. So he has my little fag bag across his chest. And then I grab the monkey and I bring it up, I smash it on the ground. One smash, it rips open, goes everywhere. And he went, you broke it. I was like, yeah, I did it. You said break it.

You said break it. I go, yeah, kid, you don't kid, you weren't beat by a stepfather from grade first to fifth grade. You had parents who were probably still together. I'm walking around with childhood rage all the fucking time. Now give me my giant stuffed unicorn. So he had to pay me 100 bucks on Venmo. This fucking idiot.

And then some black guy was like, yo, pick that up. I go, he's picking it up. It's his stupid trick. And think I was the first person ever busted I was the first person he went to so his whole day was shot and was over right away yeah he didn't have an extra monkey that's the Queen right there son of a bitch it is the Queen so dude I met So dude, I met with his little camera guy and they were like, they just left, they walked away all sad because I fucked up their whole influencer day. I'm praying. I gotta find this guy. I'll try to find him at some point,

but I'm hoping that he uses it. Because then my influencer and his influencer. Oh, together with your powers. With the powers. Oh my God, you guys are gonna be in Ibiza three times a month. His disappointed face when I smashed that monkey on the ground and it went everywhere. You broke it. You broke it? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm an influencer too. I know this game works. Broke it. Yeah, so if anybody sees me on some other influencer's thing, please send it our way. Let's jack off. You didn't even know until today you love the Jonas Brothers. I did, I did know I love the Jonas Brothers.

Really? Yeah dude, I was at the cigar lounge, Soho Cigar, shout out, Lee. Great place, you ever wanna go smoke with me? Late night. Well I'm seeing how the Jonas Brothers are gonna tie into this, what you describe as so masculine that I can't even come in there and do gay stuff with you. Jay I don't know if you

know this but I am a storyteller and I will bring this all together. Okay. So I was at Soho cigar where I go a lot after the YKWD on Tuesday nights. It's open till 2. They got hot waitresses that treat you real frisky and nice and they're polite and you go in there and it's a lot of a lot of times famous people sports people will be there you'll know a lot of these guys I don't know them but I know they're sports guys because they're eight feet tall and I was in there one night only black guys in the place no that's that's another one that's beautiful isn't it they got great food we should go there one night and the Jonas Brothers the good-looking one. What's his name? The good I would say Nick

Show me Nick. I think it's Nick. It's the one on the right. Yeah. Yeah Nick Goddamnit even better looking now by the way as a man. Oh, yeah, he was down there smoking bats We saw him as a man at the Soho house brunch actually once We saw Isabella's little sister like he was acknowledging her. She was like reaching over the thing, but she didn't know who he was He's gorgeous. He is gorgeous and he's smoking a bat like a man. We're hanging out. We wound up talking He gave me his number. We went back to his house. We hung out a way We I actually I drank a little bit. No way.

I did a little bit. I would have heard about this magical night with Nick Jonas. And then all of a sudden it was weird, because we're in his pool, right? And I didn't have shorts. And he was like, dude, you don't need shorts. I don't care. I don't care.

So me, him, there was another guy there. We wound up swimming. The other guy was like. He was every inch as big as you thought he'd be, wasn't he? It was so perfect and nice. Not as big and great as Nolan's. Jacob, don't get crazy. It was nice, but man.

It was nice. It's not gonna start a construction company. I taught him, he didn't know how to swim. So I was like, dude, I was a lifeguard at a Jewish camp. So I taught him how to do the breaststroke, the first. And then I taught him how to swim underwater. Then he had these little things that he got that you throw down and you gotta swim down. We swam down and got him. And we were like making, we actually to swim underwater. Then he had these little things that he got that you throw down and you gotta swim down.

We swam down and got him. And we were like making, we actually were going underwater and he was showing me his ding ding and I was laughing. He was like, look, look, look. And I went down and I was like, haha, ding ding. And then we had cake and then I went home. I haven't seen him since. Oh man, but what a magical night.

Yeah, it was great. I can't believe I never heard this story before. Yeah, well he told me not to tell anybody. Look at the top of his butt crack. Yeah, he's gorgeous. Look at his fucking junk puddle. I don't know, I don't tell you what though I don't like his ass gap up top go back I don't like that's a that ass gap is a little too much. It does impress a muscular ass that may actually be weird looking Yeah, it's a little it's too muscular for me. I like like Marky Mark. I would say has a better Little butt knuckle. Go to Nick look at his dick hair go to Nick Jonas solo

videos because there's one song by him I do like And it's just him. It's like a wicked game video where it's just him basically yeah, trying to fuck a chick also you'd say you would fuck to this song and Close it's close now No, is it? Let's get ahead a little You know, let's put it on Got it

Yes, it oh god How's the tow blow I don't know songs withve Lo. I don't know anything about her except she performs and pulls her tits out almost 100% of the time she performs. Really? Look up Tove Lo, tits or naked and it's on stage all of it. So funny, we've been doing the show for eight minutes and we're looking at tits. Tove Lo tits. Well we got there though. We were talking about the Jonas Brothers. How's that our fault? It's already gotten gay and we're looking at tits. I'm sorry Because that's why the songs about us are so short. Oh my wow. Wow, dude. What the fly

Why she just does I mean come on that's a cheat code Yeah, she's probably awful. That's a cheat code. That's when a song's not going good and they're not into it, you just whip your tits out and the place goes nuts. Ah, remember that, dude? Remember when that cover band, that Rage Against the Machine cover band was playing

and then it was bombing and then the girl just pissed in the guy's mouth? Ugh. That was the best. You don't remember that? Yeah, the black chick? Yeah. Yeah.

It was the Rage Against the Machine cover band? Yeah. Or they were doing a rage against the machine song I'm gonna do that at skank fest this year from bombing on one of those sides. No, I'm with pissing somebody's mouth Yeah, Tove low don't give a fuck. I mean, but first of all, can I just say something those breasts should be shown to the world? Those are really I think they're perfect. I think they're fine. I think they're perfect They're not too big not too small. They're cute little tits. They got a little droop to them. They bounce a're fine. I think they're perfect. They're not too big, not too small. They're cute little tits for sure.

They got a little droop to them, they bounce a little bit. I don't like her confidence. I don't like her live out loud confidence. She's definitely cute without a doubt. Her tits are pretty good. That has to be in a different country, that's not here. You can't whip your tits out like that on a show in America.

Sure you can. No, whip, that's not here. You can't whip your tits out like that on a show in America. Sure you can. No, we're fucking pyridines. Somebody was trying to sue Madonna for- Because of the nudity in the show. Because of the nudity in the show. Yeah, there's like tits out of her show. Yeah, for- You would just fucking see Madonna.

Yeah, that's disgusting, that's why they were trying to sue her, because a kid threw up and didn't stop throwing up and having nightmares for a month. I sued them because- And we were at Madonna's tits. I sued them because two giant muscular black guys who could beat the shit out of me

started French kissing each other on stage Yeah, I can't find a lawyer who will take the case Get over malter's a vagina or a vagina is a mouth now fucking terrible So that's them to almost making out a bunch in this video That was was that whoa that's not a comp that's a masturbation video Christine Can you guys stop porn sites stop making the ads louder than the actual porn, please? Was that an, whoa, that's not a compliment. That's a masturbation video, Christine. It's a masturbation ad. Can you guys stop porn sites, stop making the ads louder than the actual porn, please?

Yeah, I'm trying to jerk off quietly in another room. I don't need my neighbor to hear, yeah, suck my dick. I think I can get Jacob to agree on this one. There's something not sexy about this chick. Well, she's a little chubby in that one. That's not even. She has a barrel chest. It's not a. Well she's a little chubby in that one. That's not even. She has a barrel chest. It's not a flattering thing she's wearing.

She has the original Superman chest. But you love these titties. I like the boobs. Yeah, they're nice. They're not bad. I don't know. She looks better here than she did in the last one. That one was pre-famed.

The other one you showed is after she got famous and could eat good food backstage. Oh yeah, yeah, she's getting all filled up with Chilean sea bass. Yeah, yeah, they have good catering backstage on the other one. You can't be that good at singing if your thing is to show your titties.

Every time, this is like a fourth performance in a row. Wow, this is her thing. She's a girl machine? She's girl Bert Sing with me, and they're not singing and she's just teasing him with her tits there you go. Oh God like she does it in such a dumb way It's like a flash that I'm not quite getting exactly no the tits And guys go I mean you know what those are called monkey makers

Whip them out. We're like Yeah, no matter what you cheer Yeah, anytime you see tits Americans. We flip out at tits by the way She dresses on stage like she's walking the dog at 2 a.m She dresses like she has to go get cigarettes at 3 a.m. We're as if she's out And if she wakes her boyfriend up he's gonna fucking hit her for sure She dresses like she has to go get cigarettes at 3 a.m. Realizes she's out. And if she wakes her boyfriend up, he's gonna fucking hit her for sure. So she just goes. She's cute.

I got no gripe with this girl's tits or body or looks really at all. Other than this has to mean she's awful. But where does she do it in the show? If she does it right in the beginning and then that's all you want to do is her to do it again. What merch though? That's a smart move. Look at her. She's got merch of her tits. That was Kim Kongen did that with her actual tits.

Oh yeah. That's great. This girl he says... Yeah Tove Lo could get it for sure. She can't be. I mean she did this song with the Jonas brother. But I don't find this. The way she's doing this is not sexy. Does it make sense? She's not wearing an outfit that can like be revealing and it turns out that way.

I find that hot. She just like we who look at my I don't know. Yeah, but this is she's a sexy away from it. This is Gene Simmons is spitting out fire. You know what I mean? Yeah, this is the same thing. I mean, you're saying it, but it's not. It's the same thing.

It's like we're all waiting for him to take a sip of whatever shit and then spit out flames and blood and. Sure. That's her blood mouth. Just loose tits. Just whippin' her bee cup, her 32 bees out. Her little bees out.

Perfect little 32 bees. bees hey guys the hoots yeah let's hear a song like recorded this is the most popular video okay 467 million that's fine that's a lot what is that what's that worth six seven bucks that's a lot she does look like she's walking the dog all the time. This looks like her asshole always smells like she shit recently. It's clean, you know what I mean? But it smells like she just shit. Yeah, you always smell pennies when she's around.

What is that? He goes, did you shit? She's like, I mean earlier. She doesn't use baby wipes. I remember this song. It's a good song. I thought I was like, I thought I'd know the song with that many views on it,

and I do know this song. She's kind of hot. That's my type of girl, brunette. Parentless. Nice big eyes. Yeah. Kind of big nose. Dad worked her over

already so you just got to go in there and break the seal yeah actually french fries anytime a day oh absolutely dude she says five second rule a lot and kisses things to God five second rule she's cute but if you guys think this girl is in any possible way sexier than Doja Cat, you're crazy. I think she's a... I would 100% go with... Sexier? Yes.

No. You understand, Jay. Look at me. No, I would swing for Tove Lo before I swung for Doja Cat, but I'm talking about sexy. Look at my finger. my finger stay with me You understand people have types, right? Yeah Dojo cat doja. Yeah, dojo

Dojo of comedy Gives a shit the New Jersey dojo cat of comedy dude. She is not my type It's not this girl is a regular... Yeah, late night bar trash. I'm with you. I said I'd go for this girl first. That's my type. What about Doja Cat with hair? She looks like a guy...oh, sorry, that was a guy. No. No. Yeah, she's gross.

I don't like it. I don't like stripper girls like that. I don't like that look I like So I'm saying this girl is hotter than Tove Lo by far and sexier by far No way Tove Lo is I wouldn't talk to the doja cat the the regular version of her I would talk to the Tove Lo I would like I'll be like she's cute enough, dude So what her butthole smells like shit all the time I'll be like she's cute enough dude so what her butthole smells like shit all the time I can't believe you know what you think dojo. What's your dumb name? Doja cat doja cat? You know what it is purposefully obtuse you think Fuck you and use the word obtuse first of all you're obtuse

She's not sexy She's sexy look at those kids What's her real name Amala right now ratna zandilla? What's your real name? Amala Ratna. Ratna, Zandila, Lamanina. Buddy, Bill Maher, I watched Bill Maher's Real Time last night. Cause you're smart.

Cause I'm smart. You're smart. I said nothing to do with smarts. In his New Rules thing, he's talking about the new craze with the Rat Boy in Hollywood, is what they're calling him, the Rat Face boys that are getting popular, and there's so many of them, and they really do all look like rats.

Let me say it, I wanna say it. Like the main guy from Backstreet Boys, whatever that kid's name was, Brian. He has that little rat face. Oh yeah. He's always got, it was so fucking funny. It was like the guy from Saltburn, Timothee Chalamet.

When you see them, they're all like little rat face people. I like Bill Maher now. I think Bill Maher's been, the last year or so, the last couple of years, he's been really funny. He's pretty down the middle at this point, I think. Yeah, pretty. You know, John Stewart, The Daily Show is really funny now, too, again. Oh, yeah, Rodent Men. Rodent Men.

Dude, look at the hilarious... By the way, as soon as they said it, I'm like, YUP. Look at it. Look at these little rats. They do look like rat tattoo-y. Little rat face. Let's see. So it's Josh O'Connor, Mike Faced, Matthew Healy and Jeremy Allen White. There's more. By the way, go up to that first picture again.

I'm going to say this about, uh, what's the order? The names. Uh. Josh O'Connor upper left okay and Mike faced Matthew Healy is the one on the bottom right here yeah he does that's not fair that's not a rat that guy got lumped into something that's not fair to him yeah not rat face he's the lead singer of a band and he broke Taylor Swift's heart good she wrote a whole album about oh So that's why she's calling they're calling him a rat for that because his face is not ratty now. He's not ratty He looks regular rat boys of Hollywood See the rat boys So is Timothy Chalamet

When they put the rat up next to him it really does sink it in doesn't it? Oh yeah Travis Barker total rat face. He's always given smoochy lips to that fucking asshole. He looks like a cock. Travis Barker? Travis Barker. It's weird watching him on the Kardashians because he's like such a sweetheart simpy guy. Sorry. Don't use that word. Christine please don't use that word Bobby what is your stomach think about this? Rat face oh yeah, Rami Malik rat face Yeah, he played the guy in the middle played Prince Charles on the crown. Rat Face.

Anybody in the English. Yeah, they're all Rat Faces. They're all Rat Faces. The King is a Rat Face. Keep going down, who else? There's more examples. Timothee Chalamet was a good one. Do you have the Bill Ma thing?

Can we listen? Damn, an Asian guy got caught a Rat person. No, he's not. Let me pull it up on Max, because I'm not not funny on YouTube. You can't be a rat face. Oh Adam Driver, Willem Dafoe all great examples You know who else is a rat face? Fuck Adrian what the fuck is his name Brody Brody rat face rat face total fucking rat face real and You probably the biggest honker in Hollywood

Really you ever see his yeah, it's honker. I know that the kid from salt burn Who's got ratface that guy was I mean he does that whole dance with his dork hanging out I mean that dude bring up just his nose bring out Adrian birdies nose is a crime type in his nose Okay, yeah, he's another one who I bet sucks the second you meet him and never stops sucking. That nose is fucked. That's a bird. Do you remember when he went off on SNL?

No. And tried to do his own thing? No. They were just like, they had no idea what to do with him? No. Bring up Adrian Brody SNL stuff. He tried to do like a Jamaican thing that no one quite understood what he was doing.

How can you, I mean that nose is not, you can't live in New York with that nose. You'll to do like a Jamaican thing that no one quite understood what he was doing. How can you, I mean, that nose is not, you can't live in New York with that nose. You'll throw up just walking down the street. He's a good actor and I bet he just is a fucking nightmare to spend any time with for five seconds. I follow him on Instagram and he gives talks. Of course he does. The actor talk, it's like, hey guys, what's going on?

I just wanted to check in. I just wanted to check in and walking through New York and you know, the birds and you know, it's a great day. And I just wanna make sure you guys, you're havin' a great day too, so you know, hang in there. You gotta find also the... You know who else does that? Who's the guy from Three Men and a Baby?

The guy that kinda fell off. Gutenberg? Gutenberg has... Does he give speeches? Buddy. Also, Diamond Dallas Page, I gotta, he does another one that's like, attack the dead. He's doin' the thing that we all say. off. Gutenberg? Gutenberg has. Does he give speeches? Buddy. Also, Diamond Dallas Page, he does another one, he's like, attack the debt.

He's doing the thing that we all say. Yeah, Gutenberg though, his speeches are almost godlike. Interesting you say that, Gutenberg also confirmed, supposedly Hollywood confirmed, 10 inch cock. No. Hey, what's up, I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, aka The Rooster. I'm Big Jay Okerson. I only have one aka. I'm a cowboy.

Look, if you love the bonfire, which you know you do, this is just half of the show. That's right. It's the podcast version everybody. So if you want to hear the whole thing go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire to get the whole thing. Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment too. It's not just us. You got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show. You can go to all kinds of other shows and you know what, tell a friend. But most importantly this show. Yeah, this show. Just go to this show. Do something resembling anything. Yeah, this show just go to the show do something resembling anything Christine no, yeah, I heard he got a real whopper Steve Gutenberg Steve 10-inch cock There's no way there's no way God God did go that specific Christine 10 inch cock That's why he can he quit the business because he's got a huge you put penis. It's fine

Hello, how do we get on queer click how didn't we? It's Christine's membership. How how is this show not on queer click calm? Why do we not have exclusive material on queer click Jacob? You're the producer? What's the fuck Jacob get us on queer click calm? How much how much queer shit do we have to do in the show to get on quick click? Are you trying to become a millionaire? Yeah? Let's see Gutenberg big penis

It's ten inches long it would hurt if you put it in your butt you couldn't fit Says actor stated on Howard Stern show that his cock is 10 inches long hard. Not hard, of course. Could you imagine? That dangles at about 10. There's no way a dick can dangle a 10. No, that's what I'm saying. He said it was hard, of course.

Yeah. Yeah, 10 inch cock on Gutenberg. Bring up this Adrian Brody thing, and then we should look at some talks. If I had a 10 inch. Some guys giving you talks. When I ask Bill Moore, I'm just trying to find it. If I had a 10 inch cock, I'd hit Dawn with it.

Oh yeah. Shoot, I just slap her in the cheek. Where's my eggs? No, not me, I would blacken Christine's eye. I would sit and go, what's going on? I'd go, I got a really fucking big dick. She couldn't handle it. I turned around, I didn't know her face was there at the end every set on the road I'd pull my dick out at the end. I said my thing and

Before I go here guys, let's see here this guy. There it is Everybody god bless crackle crackle. God bless you guys. It doesn't happen without you Do you have a none of this happens without you guys and this guy right here yeah can we do you have a crowd that's more my crowd give a smaller crowd blacker you guys thank you so much funny boats ain't Lewis I'll be up front to take a couple photos thank you I'm just taking to thank you time. Thank you. I'll be up front to take a couple photos Thank you. I'm just taking to thank you meet and greets are on the house tonight This is something that Adrian Brody did for friends and they're all getting high and they're all actor jagoffs Yes, and they go dude you ever hear Brody do the Jamaican guy do is so funny

And he just goes I do a great Jamaican thing and then they just said Go ahead do a Jamaican thing. It's got no direction now Tom Hanks his son does a better Jamaican thing My son does a better Jamaican thing than this guy. You know, you got Sean Paul, you got Sean Mary, you got Sean John, you know, we all in the house now, man. You know, respect all aspect, you know, me respect me and respect. Comedy does go in threes. I mean, he has the essence of stand up down.

You got Sean, and you got Sean John, boom. You should have got a laugh there. I mean, technically. It's the audience's fault. It's the audience's fault. It makes me feel embarrassed. God, Bobby loves characters and voices. I love voices.

He's like, I don't know, I think he's doing pretty good. I'm a big voice guy, Jay. Take me nice back, man. Respect, you know? Yeah, we got a great show, you know? And a King-Stone Master, yeah? Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, kido boy, kido body boy.

Come on, come on. We got the old crew now, you know? Respectfully. I'm gonna give big up enough respect at dance hard players, you know? Oh Well, Jacob liked it Jacob loves it Jesus Christ, I didn't know it tickled your funny bone, okay Well, it so weird. Everyone's listening clearly. The guy's famous. It must work somewhere. But you know, that's gut wrenching confidence that a man has. You can't believe that he has that. Is that the opening model?

No, that was throwing it to Sean Paul for the music clip. Oh, god. But no one asked him to do it. They came back from the break. He's supposed to introduce a Jamaican, a reggae guy. And he did this 45 second monstrosity? Yes. Yeah and that's why you haven't seen him in any films. I've never seen that before. That's why he hasn't promoted anything since. Yeah everything besides that has just been under the radar let's just say. Because that's what it was he was on

the show I think promoting the pianist that he won a fucking Oscar for I think, playing a pianist, piano player from the, or not piano, but from the Holocaust, right? He was Jewish, I believe. And it was like his story, great, like such a serious real movie, but he is a wigger jerk off, like himself. His Instagram is great though I love following

stars I love I love I think I follow him but he hasn't been in my my algorithm for some reason I'll bring up diamond Dallas page Instagram he does a lot of that he goes just walking on the beach and then it goes up to him like brother if you start the day with fear it will win Start the day already knowing you've won and the day's job is already halfway complete Yeah, that's like walks off. Then he does the diamond cutter. He goes right in front of the screen To bring up Steve Gutenberg, too. He's Steve's got some good stuff What is this other rad people? Yeah, that's what we have. Let's see it.

This really made me laugh. It's the anal plug. Whatever rat boy summer is, leave me out of it. According to the internet, women are gaga for a new type of hot guy who has rodent like features Signs your man might qualify include he drags pizza slices down subway And when he comes you jump up and scream but he I'll tell you what though. I bet there's a correlation I bet because they had that one kid from salt burn and I think Adrian Brody showed his dick before, if you can look up Adrian Brody's dick.

I think these rat face guys got swingers. That's the big thing. They got big, huge dicks. Yeah, God took away their face but gave them a piece. And then they got into Hollywood, which made them look unique. Unique. Which a girl will go with unique

if it's not classically attractive because they also have big huge. By the way, Pete Davidson could be in the rat boy thing. No, he's got beautiful lips. He's got big huge lips. Yeah, but I'm saying as far as like an odd, he's not classically like, he's not like John Ham Pete Davidson. He's just like unique looking and it looks cool.

It's called unconventually good looking. Sure. Is what it's called. Okay, I like that. Thanks. I like that. Thanks buddy. Did you invent that?

I kinda did. I'm glad you liked it, because if you didn't like it I would have felt sad. One more I was just saying Pete's got a big, huge fat dick. He does have a big dick. I guess what I was saying is he's got a big old Gutenberg. Yeah, let me see your Gutenberg. That's why me and you have beautiful faces.

Oh, yeah. I have Gutenberg face. I have Gutenberg face. I got a pleasant face because you have to look at it while you don't tell me that my wiener is not good enough. Did you ever give up in the middle of masturbation because you couldn't do it?

Yes. OK. Weird. That came up with Soda this weekend, too. He was like, I started the jerk off this weekend in the middle of masturbation because you couldn't do it? Yes. Okay. Weird. That came up with Soda This Weekend, too. He was like, I started the Jerichoffs Weekend in the hotel. He's like, and then I just didn't. I was like, oh, I think that might be a welcome to your 40s. Like, I'd say on the road even.

On the road I used to Jerichoff, I'd say at least once a day. At least. And then sometimes, if I did in the afternoon, maybe one more before bed. I do once a day on the road. As soon as I get into the hotel, the next day I usually do it in the afternoon, maybe one more before bed. I do once a day on the road. As soon as I get into the hotel, the next day I usually do it in the afternoon and I'm there for three days.

I'll do it when I get back after the show Saturday night. If, you know, because I'm usually, I'm feeling Randy after the second show. I'm feeling the Randy. Randy. Yeah, I usually have no girls that hang out. It's usually couples. Hey, I love you Bobby. This is my husband

Oh Randy yeah But today I did that Wacked it. I was trying to do my thing. Nobody was home. Mm-hmm had this shower massage from behind Oh you were standing in the show I do I have my leg up on the bench and I had the old thing where you know I was in the shower and she was washing me and you know, and and I had the old thing where you know I was in the shower and She was washing me and you know and then I did the little thing from behind a little tickle

And then I couldn't get it. I was halfway through and I was like I don't know if I have too much on my brain Maybe I don't know what it is. Yeah, couldn't get it. You're also standing in a shower, which is a Yeah, that's about to do it. Yeah, and I had a shampoo bottle in my ass. Okay, I don't know if that That's her well it fell out and I don't you know to get in is one thing that you're distracted Yeah, then I'm distracted that noise and then it was her shampoo and it's you know, it's gonna go everywhere very expensive She gets all bitchy about it smelling like poop bit of bing bang boom. That's why Don's hair is so soft by the way But uh, I say often when I come home on the road particularly and I'm like, oh I'm gonna like smoke a joint Watch a thing

After I'm stoned like I'll go I'll whack one out and then I'll go to bed And half the time I just smoke and I by the time just watching something or dick around my phone. I'm like Yeah, I just don't get the episode or so that I was like, yeah, it's welcome to your 40s I think sometimes just like I don't know you think you want to jerk off and you don't get the episode or so that I was against welcome near 40s. I think sometimes just like You think you want to jerk off and you don't even I think I have a lot on my brain So maybe I kept my brain kept shutting off Maybe that was it. Maybe I have so much stuff. Maybe the shampoo bottle wasn't big enough Maybe though because was selling the house. I felt bad that someone else is no no in your load. That's fine I'd decorate that place with load

Before I leave five or sell a house. I'm gonna do I'm gonna write stuff all over the wall and come and then one day Let him turn the black lights on I'm gonna pick a booger and put it under something and see if they find it. Yeah Report it you bitch Toe flow get those little nubby tits out of here. Where's the can you bring up Steve Gutenberg? I want to see his is I don't know what happened to him But he is on another spiritual plane Kirk Cameron style. I don't know if it's religious, but it's spiritual. It's definitely He is his Instagram his Instagram is nuts I forgot how in shape Steve Gutenberg was to a looking guy three men and a baby

I forgot he was like in shape like muscular Yeah, he was a sex symbol wasn't he on People magazine, too. Didn't he make that? But the sexiest people I think all three of them made it Three men and a baby guys three men and a baby guys made it cuz of course Tom Selleck I mean god damn never understood chicks being super in the Tom Selleck really never go I know it's an 80s look completely I got him walking. Yeah that one right there one of my favorite times of year I want to be very very smart about it before I know it September is here, so I want to enjoy it. I want to see family and friends I want to be outside. I want to swim. I want to use the ocean

I want to take advantage of all the great great parts of summer Maybe you think that too let's start this summer the right way yeah dude i don't know oh my because here's the thing what are you saying okay yeah it's it's real i get it but he's if i saw somebody walking in the street holding a phone out like that talking to the world, I guess he's talking to the world. Officer Mahoney. I gotta start taking. That'll be all. I gotta start taking.

I'm gonna start replicating on my Instagram. Yeah, at least it does seem like Diamond Dallas Page heads out to the beach by himself. Steve Gutenberg. Is that fucking Steve Gutenberg talking to nobody? I want to see my family. Is that Steve walking down Melrose? I like my family and I want to see them. Play another one. I'm gonna have delicious meals with my family Gutenberg

Thinking about being grateful Being grateful for my life the people that are in my life The things that I do the things that I get to do the things that I'm going to do the things that I've done We're lunatic thinking about being grateful Often many times I don't know about you. I forget to be grateful today No, he was rich when movies made money and Ten inch dick my health

Thankful for 10 inch dick my health But here I have nothing I have no problem with what he's saying I believe force grateful I love to be grateful especially look around but to walk down the street and to put that out there actors have it made Because comics we can never be sincere. I mean You're gonna pay the price if you do. I'm going to start, I'm going to start being sincere on my social media. Oh yeah. God. Now he goes, God, please put it on diamond Dallas page. This is the ones I want you to do. I want you to do this. He goes, get up, attack the day brother.

Blue black. Lou's going to love this. Black. Lou's going to start following him right now. Let's see. Don't play the victim. Don't waste time. Let's do it. Black lives gonna start following right now. Let's see, you get it? Don't play the victim, don't waste time. Let's do it. Things that mentally strong people do. Number one, they don't play victim

and they don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Two, they're fair, compassionate and kind. Why is each one thing three things? First thing, red, blue, and green. They're not afraid to speak up when their values are being tested. And number three, they celebrate other people's success. Think about it and own it. That's the thing.

Think about it and own it. Go to the one on the beach. It really is things like, thank you Diamond Dallas Page, former professional wrestler. He really has dedicated his life to helping people. Set boundaries. I have no problem with that, I think it's great. No, he's done amazing things for people.

100%. But it's still hilarious. The greatest thing is when he took that guy that couldn't walk, he was hunched over, and then he did the DDP yoga yogurt and then he ran down the street walk fatso I thought I saw what a bit you could bring up any of them honestly I like to hear he smokes a lot of weed just find one that looks like the beach Be true to yourself. There you go

I'm not gonna change who I am because of the way other people act Be true to yourself It works. That's why you got all that surgery on your face. Can you Immediately from this now go to the newest Video that Lewis sent me of his hero yelling at people how they have to fuck more. Sure. What? Bonfire DMS, I believe that guy's name again Lou Lou come on. Don't ever forget this. It's Andy Elliott the man Remember diamond Dallas page his wife on nitro. Yeah, Kimberly page. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She is yeah, Nitro had hot chicks

She did some naked stuff Kimberly page playboy. Yeah, the first ones she was beautiful. You know when WWE they would show tits She was the first one. She was beautiful. Do you remember when WWE, they would show tits? Yeah. Back in the day, they would do all kinds of weird shit. A couple times, it came up. Cat, whatever name her name was, Cat. Miss Kitty, that's what they called her, I think. She would have shit.

Yeah. Naked Sable. They just announced that it's gonna be uncensored. Uh-oh, hang on. I feel like your tapeworm's getting horny. Can we get a mic for my stomach? For tapeworm? Can we call my mic?

He goes, Bob, you gonna play acoustic guitar? He goes, no, no, no. This is for my stomach, tapeworm. Third mic in. Prepare yourself for this one. Wait, they just announced that in 2025, RAW is gonna be uncensored. Yeah, Netflix.

Does that, do you think that means nudity too? No. I was just thinking. I'm gonna swear. No, I'll tell you this though not on purpose. I Bet yeah, I bet they will take more they will take more risks where nudity can happen. Absolutely I have I have the I know what happens once in a while I have the inside scoop on what's gonna happen from what you talking about rock again You guys made up because we did make up. Okay. Yeah, we made up. That's good. And what do you say?

What they're going to do is there's gonna be more blood, there's gonna be more, you know, crazy matches, weapon type shit, ECW type stuff, and they're gonna swear. They'll be able to tell each other to go fuck themselves and stuff like that, which they did in WrestleMania. Rock's War. Rock started swearing, there was a lot of blood,

and they're gonna be a little more rated R on Netflix and it's gonna be worldwide. Netflix is worldwide. Right now, that's why they're doing shows in France and Scotland, WWE's going everywhere right now because in January when they go to Netflix, everything's gonna be on there. Is it January?

January they go to Netflix. I'm gonna have to try watching it when it goes on. I'm curious to see what it is. I'm so into wrestling right now, I fucking love it. Max is a child. Yeah, Max is into it plus, you know Sam from the you know, the morning show on serious exam. I do Jim and Sam. Yeah, he's into wrestling So we go with him because he I mean he's a god Yeah, when you go to read it's like going to a fucking metal concert with you. Well, that's, no, it's not like that at all. It's going to a metal concert with me is much less than Sam.

Sam's like a guy in the world of WW. I was exact, sometimes in comedy you exaggerate the truth. Well, it wasn't funny, it just hurt that you were wrong. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, you sensitive twat. It's like you at a concert. No, it's not. All right, whatever, you fucking sensitive bitch.

You know what, I need a lift up right now. That was, Bobby, you just hurt me. I'm know, I need a lift up right now. That was Bobby. You just hurt me I'm sorry. I need some confidence. Can you please tell me? What's his name? Andy Elliott? Lay it on me motherfucker Are you having sex every single day if you're not dude, you don't like you because if you did your ass would be naked Every night having sex. Am I right? Just kidding. That was a joke. I was just messing with her Yeah, by the way, it's a

Positive you guys is here black Lou over giggle in the background trying to sell it to us guys killer You just called a woman 93 who's nowhere near 93 because he just saw an old lady. Okay start that over This guy's a jerk off right out of the gates Relationship raise your hand. Are you having sex every single day? If you're not, you don't like you because if you did your ass would be naked every night having sex. Am I right? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just messing with her Yeah, by the way, it's healthy for you to have sex. Am I right?

Yes, it is. She even said it. 93 years old, she's like still doing it every day. We're good. She's not. Look at his feet. 93. You'd stink up the room if she was doing it every day.

Do you see how he dresses, Lou? He tucks a t-shirt. Like a very fit man with a lot of money. Yes. His shoes are terrible. He's wearing jeggings. What? From Prada, I'm sure.

What are jeggings? No. Is that a race? Girl pants. Are you saying racial stuff? How dare you? Like jeans and leggings together. You mean stretchy guy jeans?

But they're skin tight. You guys are the only ones who can fucking wear them? I'm so sick of you guys having all the fun clothes. They're skinny pants. Do you want to start wearing camisoles and shit? I would love to. Maybe a sundress in the summer. That'd be nice.

I'm not stopping you from trying. Women have all the fun clothes. I'll take your shopping tonight. Why don't you come on Monday in a sundress and we'll see how the world takes it. In New York, I'd fucking be a star. I'd have better spots at the cellar. I'd have, they probably wouldn't want to do

my own show in serious exam Jay get the fuck out of here. You're just in the way of this very brave person You're a summer bird Power fucks his way every day. Sorry bud. I forgot he was here. There's a kid Exactly, what an asshole he miss ages a woman and then says this whole speech in front of a kid. You got to bust them nuts all over their butts. Sorry kiddo. You got to shove it down their throats and fuck their faces until you're happy. Sorry kid and grandma. You got to do testosterone and steroids.

There's another video in the DMs. Please. I take this one very seriously. This is a good one. You got a kid? Okay. And how many cars do you average a month? How many do you want to sell sell how many do you average? Okay, watch this. What's your name? David what if someone kidnapped your son David and they told him they were gonna kill him unless you sold 40 cars a month How many would you sell?

Call the police. Yeah, I call the police. I call the FBI the police And how much do I like they told you if you go to the cops the kids daddy has keep getting worse with it They said if you go to the cops the kids daddy. Yeah, I would kind of quietly go to the cops But my just real quick. It's not my kid. It's it's my the girl. I am with it's her kid from another guy It's her kids so like I wouldn't overextend But if we don't get him back, we are gonna have to break up, because she's not gonna fuck. I like this comment, I only sold 39.

Say goodbye, David. Come on. From J. Mizzle 222. That's really great. Black Lou, that's fucking nuts. That's fucking great. You think that's great? That's great. That's great

You play 20 colors is a lot. What does he say if he's his child was gonna be murdered if come on Why somebody got a kid after kids so forth? Why do things have to get bad before you guys really get pissed off and max out so you gonna get mad This thing is I get fucking mad I'm let's get who you say would you mind if we kidnapped Hendrix until this show is number one on all platforms Yeah, we got a max out I think I'm gonna start kidnapping people's loved ones But DJ Lou, who do you love weak dads don't watch hey Give me that I need to see weak dads not watching this and by the way go back go back one page it says on another picture this is what truly

matters and then it has a baggy awful ass on the screen that's his wife yeah yeah well then I got some motivational conversations for this guy for her yeah she's actually kind of hot she got a she got a good bod. She got a good bod, though. You're crazy. It's a bad fucking screenshot or cover shot. Yeah, she had a left side hanging out a little more than the right. This whole family sucks. And they fuck every day. Every day.

No exceptions. Nah, dude. I don't know how I'm fucking her every day. She looks like Carlos Mayorga. Remember former boxer Carlos Mayorga who would smoke cigarettes in the ring? That's what she looks like. All right, weak dads don't look like this. But that's not what really matters.

Imagine telling your son, you quit because it was too hard. It's just a montage of him working out. I told my daughter that. Like, oh, what did you quit? I goes, everything's it was too too hard I quit college for that reason I've creating Colton that's not a good thing was this wife who's this that's really sucking every day that's how you fuck every day you have another check I'll

fuck every day that's his that's his wife that's his wife so his wife does the same thing but for women oh she goes and screams at ladies please bring that up oh they use hostage tape I use hostage sponsor I love hostage tape I sleep really good with hostage tape I look like a fucking idiot no but I sleep fantastic hang on please the truth about womanhood this is his wife better more effective and happier mother if I put myself first. That's a big, big deal to a lot of women. Are these guys?

We're meant to be the, I don't want to say servants, but we serve our people. She looks like a Filipino guy who used to play basketball with named Earl Fajardo. That would have been funny if you didn't have the last name. Earl Fajardo. Like we take care of our kids kids we want to make sure that they're dressed perfectly that their clothes match that like everything is good that they're fed and we're sitting around with a bun in our head and we're just eating last and not taking care of ourselves. Send this to Dawn. As a disservice to your children. Yeah we

can't pour from an empty cup and I know that women think that's not true. We're the natural caregivers you know we're the the doctor. You know, we're the doctors appointment setters. We're the errand runners, the grocery shoppers, the dinner cookers, the owie kissers. We juggle so much. Yeah, it's called being an assistant. Men are supposed to leave the house first. You're our assistants while we take care

of everything important. Yeah, we wake up and get it done. Yeah, we have to go get it done. And then, yeah, yeah, yeah. You washed a thing. Yeah, go spell to go get it done and then yeah, yeah. Yeah, you washed a thing. Yeah, go spell Massachusetts for me Call the doctor so I stay alive so you don't have to do jack shit else. Yeah, make sure my Collins. All right Please let her continue

With fucking jacked biceps I do like that make sure that I don't want a girlfriend with fucking jacked biceps I do like that. No, you don't. Yes, I do You I do like a I like a chick who works out. Yeah, I bet you're I don't have one I bet your wack off stuff is you could bite dawn's elbow and she would even go out Yeah, dude, I I do I like you don't like the muscle girls no I do I like you don't like the muscle girls. No, I do I like it Okay So for me it was like it was it was again another non-negotiable as a mother Can you imagine hanging out when two? Horseship motivational speakers have to come home to dinner every night and their fucking kids got to hear it all day

Did you attack the day son? What did you attack the day, son? What? Did you attack the day? I, I don't know. Dad, I went to school and I got homework. Did you rip through that shit? Did you rip through that homework with reckless abandon? No look back, no regrets? I went home last night, I went for the house thing.

I went, Dawn, she was like, I go, I'm nervous. She goes, me too. Then we just sat down to eat chicken Wait I need I need this guy at my house me and Donna both stressed out every day Yo, you gotta fuck this woman every day what I gotta what you got to fuck this woman 100% days Can I just my wife she's premenopause. Mm-hmm. Go through it! Go through her menopause?

It'll callus up, and she'll be fine! But she- she wants to rip my spine out through my- Yes! Mm-hmm. Attack it! Attack it? But, sir? Yes.

Um, she doesn't want anything to do with me sexually right now. Have you considered attacking it? Attacking her vagina or her? Both. Both at the same time. You attack her when she is subdued, you then attack the vagina. Sir, what?

Yes. Do I use a, like with a weapon or just my hands? Either or. I use a weapon. OK. Like a fork. Should I use a fork? A fork will work.

All right. OK, fork, OK. As long as the threat of imminent danger is available okay can we see look for this when hiring I want to see what she has to do when she hires people please go ahead every woman does in shambles for a lot of years and I felt like I was just trying to show everybody how strong I was and how tough I was and I became a mother and I took a step back and I said I don't want to be the strong one anymore I don't I don't want to be your biceps

I don't want to be any of those things either. Yeah You know, I don't want to be built like a fucking strong teenage boy anymore I don't want to be like a like a senior all-state middle linebacker. Yeah, I don't want to Be built like a shot putter. I don't want my pussy to like Mick Jagger lips because I have no fat on my entire body You know what I'm tired of my clit sticking out way further than rest of my body because I have no body fat I'm tired of using duct tape to keep my clip down when I go to the beach So my kids don't have to fucking explain why mommy has a dick. I'm sorry, my ass cheeks are so tight

that all my turds come out like pancakes. Oh, he's on it, there you go. Look for a minute. Yeah. Screen people, most people screen for like, what did you do at your last job? Tell you what, he's not yelling at his wife. He's not yelling at his wife like he's yelling

at those car salesmen. Oh yeah, no. Because she'll fucking beat the shit out of him. I think it's the opposite. I think so. He gets hurt. I think they put the beats to each other. Loser gets it up the shitter. I like the cynicism because I'm not gonna let this asshole. Tell me I gotta have sex with Christine every day What the fuck is this guy talking about you who the fuck has sex every day? I used to

Every day no, I mean, but like a lot with who? Christine at one point you guys had sex every day Not every day by me Beginning relationship probably yeah what like okay all right it's nay the beginning passion days when you guys still didn't know each other when you're still in it but now for the last maybe eight years every day no no like once or two two or three times a year