The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Reasons To Cry

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

What scenes or songs make you cry?

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okreson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. O'Crosson and Robert Kelly I know it's a pre-record but it'd be a fun collar topic even that when people write in or whatever for When I was driving back the other night from Hershey, there was just some songs that work at night so much better than doing the day

This is one of them. Yeah, I never want to hear this during the day, but a late night drive this comes on I don't know why what's the other song? Like taking the romantics is uh What I like about know why what's the other song that they take the romantics is What I like about you That's a great one Here the secrets the American gay remotes. Yeah, this is This is the song that lose girl sings at night the secret that you keep that be great blue fucking Be talking to sleep. Oh my god. Hey, a

Adrian A3 of my girlfriend's right there she's gonna find out about us The dude's When you're talking in your sleep To take take these broken wings mr Mr. Mr. Tonight Time Song, Night Time Song. What? I was about to sneeze, I pulled away. So that was my holding back my sneeze face.

I learned how not to sneeze. Watch this. Stare to light. Go like this. Breathe in like that. And it don't sneeze. Oh really? I was just stare to light.

It'll make you not sneeze for some reason Mmm, I don't know if that's real maybe not huh? Opposite for me if I stare at a light I sneeze immediately really? When I get my eyebrows waxed I sneeze sometimes Do you know why? Yeah, cuz it's just yeah cuz your eyebrow hair is connected to you try It's just yeah, because your eyebrow hair is connected to your trigemonal vein. That's not real. That's a fact. Look it up.

It's not even wasting time on it. It's a fact. Let's not even get into it like that. Try, try geminal vein roots. Look it up. Cause it's nezine. Hey, Jay, did we get to his all his stuff yesterday? Lose?

Louis? No. No, he's not. No, no, no, the one thing we didn't get to was his story of Pearl Jam being pelted by shoes at the first Coachella ever. And there's video of it. But we got to both gay stories, right? Did we miss a gay story? There was one gay story that you weren't present for.

But you've heard it. We've told you about that. No, we know, that's little gruesome big Chris. I remember that one, but there was two yesterday. No, there were, but the night ended in a the other was a part shop. He was in trouble Because his girlfriend found that he's been seeing Adrian for a while right and then the other one was The couple the couple yeah, I've got you the couple and he just gave the guys numbered ran away Yeah, one number off though one number. The other one was that fucking hand party. Hand party. Yeah. Hand party. So much happening to hand party. I love

hand party. I want a painting of hand party in my house. Just shirtless pigs dancing with jeans on buttons. But hand party can only be done at dusk. Like people show up while the light is out but then it it slowly goes away in Florida like humidity Yeah, it's gotta be swampy. You have to be human. Jacob, I know that sounds great to you But you're not invited to hand party. Yeah, yeah, I know you can't come to hand party I'm sorry judging everybody at our hand party. No way with our pants on button That's all that sweat and glitter. Yeah, sorry. You're gonna have to hear the stories You are gonna have to hear the stories everybody You are gonna have to hear the stories.

Everybody wants to rule the world. Another great nighttime song. Um, who's that? Tears for fear. I love tears for fears. Tears for fears are great, but that song at night hits different. I was saying the night songs, nighttime songs.

You only wanna hear it at night. Bob Seager, nighttime. Turn the page. Turn the page. Turn the pages nighttime. Night time. He's got a couple of a hog ass door in the day though, taking a big haul cross country.

He was Hollywood nights on Hollywood hills. Turn the page though. I used to listen to it on the way to the cellar when I lived on 47th Street in my car. Dude, there's nothing gayer than Lyric's hitting you alone. We're alone. Like here, on the road again, if you're sad and lonely on the road, it's that song will get you. It gets you. And it's just a dumb song.

On a long and long tomorrow, I wait east of Omaha, even though I've been like, I know. No, that's not what he gets to me. Well, he gets to me when he goes, he's smoked the days cigarette, the heart. Remembering what she said. And in my mind, it's always like,

you're cheating out there, aren't you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's the bone wall. Look at Jacob thinking about the road. He's thinking about it. Okay. You can think about the woman. Yeah, they don't give a shit about age back then. Wow. 16 and a half. Oh, what? And I was like, yep.

Yep. It's a different time. I told you that famous groupie girl tells the story. She was 15 and she's got gang banged by the almond brothers. There's no one cares. Wow. Yeah. Jimmy Page was a nice to women either.

They all banged on the rage girls. I didn't. Yeah, these underage girls tell the stories. They were like, yo, you know, awesome when I was 14 and got gang banged by the almond brother. They're like, this was great. They're not complaining about it. I was real.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck it. I thought it was real. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Turn it up, Lou. Be careful, guys.

I have no echo. Who bones, stage? What do you mean, careful? You're gonna sing. It's gonna sing and naked. Why, why no echo? What's wrong with that? I need to be live to create the echo.

There I go. Oh, who needs it? You turn the page. Really don't create the echo Who needs it? Really don't think I'm down it You don't think I'm down I love that you hear the crowd the whistles Yes, some songs require life too. I whistle that way in like a holiday and express when I check in. Hotel markets You can't hear Jacob you don't understand the road like me dude. Yeah, how you she does he does See that something like that. Yo, yeah, it's a lot like that. That's what Jacob sounds like in the back of the bus

I think it sounds like in the back of the bus. Yeah. It was just, this comes grow. I lay in a bathtub holding a bottle of tequila, and I just throw a hooker money for peeing on me. Here, take it. I'm lost. Help. But yeah, getting emotional about song lyrics alone is, it's so lame that I've had, I'll

cry to a song. I was going over the Never. I've never cried to a song, no, but I've gotten emotional. This song has got me, like over and around, was it around 14th Street, Cutting Across, going over to 5th. Yeah. Right around there.

You know, a million miles away, every ounce of energy. Yeah, right around there Did I've chronic a lot of songs going over the chest of Beak Bay Bridge the song Oh Father by Madonna got me because it's like she figured out It's hard getting upset about her father and one of the lyrics is Somebody hurt you the guy she doesn't she forgives him because somebody hurt him too. I'm like, my dad's dad did suck too. I just figured it all out. Madonna. He laid my soul. Uh, that one got me.

There's a weird smashing pumpkin song that gets me. What the hell was that? That was song Kevin Hart. Yeah. Is he involved in the song now? You're trying to song me something while I was trying to play you Madonna. Oh, oh, but you owe father by Madonna that song is not a smashing pumpkin song. It doesn't make any sense it's

This I'm gonna what I started lane lane to describe That like I don't know. It's like it's the emotion of the music. I don't know what the lyrics are about at all It's a smashing pumpkin song from a I said on the show, it's like, it's the emotion of the music. I don't know what the lyrics are about at all. It's a smashing pumpkin song from a, I said it on the show before, it's from a Batman soundtrack. Oh, right. It's called The End Is The Beginning, yes. The End Is The Beginning Is The End.

Yeah, I don't know, so the music gets me. I've gotten, I've gotten, God, I just haven't cried. Like, you know what song gets me? It's, it's really just really just queer sure 30 seconds to Mars Which one the the kill the kill whether the shining video the kill what is it? Killing me that part right there Goodie that gets to you You skip it and I'm opening up. Oh, good. Listen, you invented hand parties. Relax.

If you skip it, you didn't buy hand parties. You didn't have a like the stand on here. Oh, listen to this. I got away from you. I never thought I would. You can't hurt me now. Cut to the last verse, dude. That's the part. You wanted to do the part? I got beat by a stepfather and this does nothing for me.

Come on. Now. Well, yeah, but you didn't think you didn't feel bad for his people. You can't get to the end of it Yeah, this one You didn't mean to be cruel Somebody hurt you You can't hurt me because'm going to self hug and spin. I got away from you. I never thought I would. I just wanted to be the one who can make you.

Yeah, the scene when the little boy chases after his dad to come back in Rodding cars with boys and then the scene when Juliet Lewis retard freaks out on retard G. Ivani Rabisi for saying they had sex at a party Those two those things get me for sure Burke Rysher is one of my favorite moments in Bonfire. If you put on this, some scenes of the astronauts' wife, the time travelers' wife, you could put the scene on. He felt the, I was laughing so hard. I couldn't believe how it got him.

I cry at movies. Terms of endeerment. When the kid, you take my candy bar. I think he gave the candy bar back because she didn't have enough money. Oh, my mom used to grab Brian's song. That's a sad one. Um, you playing the kill for him? Will, give it to him.

I want to see Bobby cry. Go get this fuck. Are you crying mostly because he's wearing mascara? Doo. Yeah. Just place up right in the middle. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah.

Rock and roll, dude. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah. Rock and roll, dude. Yeah when he performs it now dude it Lee performs this song now live when you watch live performance. You see the one that came down on the the bun the uh what is it called? Zipline. I have. Yeah

that's great. When they perform this song now dude the way because that crowd this is the song. This is it. This is the song. This is one of the song they don't have another song. They do but not like this this was it we played him live on here before and it's hard to goof on him he's really talented he really is the guy released it was he a double threat would you say the double threat he's got a dancer not a dancer but you get singing acting right guitar player fashion icon fashion icon yeah Yeah triple threat. He could play fashion icon triple You know 100% 100% you look out for him. Are you out of your mind dude? He's in everything. He can wear a dress He wears robes out

He's so beautiful fucking gorgeous. I can see mouth kissing him mouth mouth kissing him how about waking up in the morning making him breakfast Kissing him my mouth kissing him how about waking up in the morning and making him breakfast Bobby you've already seen passes open mouth kiss. Yeah, I'm not this isn't lust. I Would wake up. Oh, I'd be like hey, this is me. Hey, hey Jared time to get up, Baba. You got to be on set your cars down Hey, I made you some eggs Yeah, come on baby last night was so funny All right, it's such a weird video hey, right here. I love this part Oh, dude, I don't have to marry him so much. He's so gorgeous. I'm gonna marry him so much. They so gorgeous. I'm gorgeous So long knows don't you think he's also he's also a great actor. I mean fantastic

I don't know that take. Tastic. Are you crazy? He's really good. One probably one of the best jokers. Where's Joker? You're out of your mind. You're like Joker. Are you out of your mind? He wasn't Joker enough for me to really rate that I he was out of your mind. He wasn't Joker enough for me to really rate that. He was dreadful. He was not dreadful. He's probably dreadful. So he's doing it. Movie sucked. Number two Joker. Who's I mean, he's led your number one. Oh, I was gonna say, what's he? Well, he can see he was not Joker. He was just a mental patient that didn't become the Joker. There is a number two, Bobby. And number two is Jared. What's the guy that played him?

It's up falling off the cliff number two. Oh, not in West one. Raoul something. No, no, no, the Joker. He played the Joker. Oh, the Joker. Caesar Romero. Caesar Romero. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, he was just gay. Caesar Romero was number two. He's the best. You're out of your mind. He's the number two. I mean, he's, they made him the cartoon. Like he's wearing a bright purple suit and like,

and makeup over his mustache. Do you know who was a good Joker was the dude who played Luke Skywalker? Mark Camel. He played a great Joker voice wise. Yeah, cartoon. Cartoon Joker. Javit Lito in, I conic voice of the, Javit Oh, really? Gerrilo in...

It's like an iconic voice of the... Gerrilo is fantastic as the Joker in that movie. That scene. What did he do in that movie? Now, the scene, dude. He dressed like himself. No, didn't he have like, what?

What? No, he was like, with the tats all over him and she... The tats with the two guns and the tight clothes. No, but I thought you were talking about the scene. No, the guy is a knob, look at him. He looks like an absolute asshole, but you can't undeniably,

you have to say he's undeniably gorgeous. I mean, look at his fantastic. I can do that. No, not him either. I think he looks like a jerk off. You're out of your mind. He's fantastic. No, that's not real.

That's the Met Galle. That's the Met Galle. He was his own head in the museum. Not last year, last year he came as a cat This year he was a cat this year he's a cat logger filled what yeah, he was he was the guy's cat He came as his cat. You didn't see that he was a boy's cat. He was a beautiful cat like a a huge kitten Fucking pussy. Yeah, right look at it was him this year. Oh my Christ. Yeah All right, look, it was him. This year.

Oh my Christ. Yeah. One pet, the cat. Yeah. What? It's show pet, it's Carl Lagerfeld's cat. He came as the cat. What does that mean?

And he wore, he was on the subway too. He took the subway with, No, he didn't. I swear to God, look at his Instagram, I follow him, because he's on my bow off. He's a real try hard. I'm gonna say it. Yeah, that's, that's ass nine.

That is not fashion. That's not fashion, you're wearing a mascot costume. Yeah, but it's an insane, beautiful, all those hairs are made out of real cats. Yeah. That's not a, that's a real. It's all locks of love, cancer kid hair. I think he's amazing.

No, no, listen, I cannot take the down a way. No, I don't listen That's the only 30 seconds to Mars song. I know it's a great song And him yeah, there it is right there. Where is he? Yeah, he knows on the subway. Where's on the subway? Are you crazy? I love Fuck LA with you on that Fuck LA fuck LA with you on that Where in a fur I love it I love the subway and took the subway there's a video of him on the on a subway cart

By you're wearing mascara at the prom scroll you go wherever you want baby He we also dressed like Jared Lido just the mascara. Let's say what if we keep this pace. We're gonna throw a lot of part out. We all have a Jared Lido party. We all dress like Jared Lido. Man, there's enough costumes. We at least need Jared Lido day here on the bonfire. We all come in and just freak everybody out in the halls of Series XM. We all dress like share. We all have to do Jared Lido day. We all have eyeshadow. You guys come from a hand party? No, no, this is something different. This is a JL party. This is a different thing.

A JL party. What is that you guys jerk off? That's a JL party. Hey, let me ask you a question. You really don't think he was good as the Joker? You're saying the wrong person. Because you don't like him What's happening

You said he wasn't good in it too right into that oh The expert Christine put up the scene of him that the the one where he has like the two He's got the tattoo and he's got no Was he having a chance to like his look? I like his look. Yes. I do. I like his look But what is he ever experienced? He likes his look. I like his look. Yes, I do. I like his look.

Okay, but that doesn't mean it's a good job. Two jokers. Two sides. Two sides. You got the second best joker. Are you crazy? Second. Who's the second joker?

If you're having to, I'm saying that he, it is Caesar Romero. You're ready. My Heath Ledger was the first and then Jared Lido and then Joaquin Phoenix. I thought you said he wasn't the Joker. You did. That was you who said that. But let me let me let me back that up. He became the Joker at the end, which is great. But until then he was just a lunatic.

Now it's going to be the one where he that yet. Yeah, they're right there, right there. That one right there. Click that. I mean, look at him, dude. I'm not even blaming him. The movie's just too shitty. The movie's shitty, but him in the movie. He's the best. He's playing it like a real mob boss.

Crazy guy. He's just out at a dance club. Yeah, teeth are grills. Yeah, look at him. He's crazy. Watch, look. He's like me in high school listening to a girl drone on about the hot guy. Okay, listen. I love this guy. He's so intense. I can be a little like he did a little what's her name.

I was named Drexel from True Romance to yeah a little bit right. Exactly. Look at him. He goes cold real quick. I'm firein' my life. You gotta find the one where the guy's laying on the table scene. That's the one that I love. Oh, they'll eat him for this.

Holy Quinn! Oh, I mean the movie's unbearable. The movie is not unbearable, but he is fucking great. Watch this, watch this when she comes in. Pen. She's great, too. We can't say she's not good. To this handsome hunk of hunk of.

Is he doing Jim Carrey? So one of the last famous people to get fully naked and have a bush. Jeremy, I was gonna say, where was that scene? Jeremy has been naked before. Hasn't he? I feel like he would have. That seems very him. I feel like I heard about his dog. Look at him right now. He's looking at his girl. Hit on that guy. He's watching like, what the fuck are you gonna do? You're gonna try to do something to my chick? Like, he kind of gets hot on it love them so man you something Bobby yeah playing devil's ad with get here if he looked like

Ernest Borgnine would you love this performance so much no no no right what I why no you need you just love the you just love his look I love everything about it I love his performance that. That performance was, it was levels. He was happy, crazy quiet. I think the black thing choices for the Joker, I mean. What the fuck? He's really not wowing us. Are you crazy? No.

Ha ha ha. All right, pull up the scene. You know what the scene is, he's good in it. Justice League. Jared Little Joker Justice League. That's where he's the best. In a word. He has a long time then Then you have long hearing that one. Oh, that's the one on the train right there. Yeah Dressing a cat on a train fuck him. Why doesn't he gets his fucking snack bags sliced up?

All right, yeah, there you go. I mean, hey, batman. Mah, ma, ma, ma. They're making a penguin show on HBO Max. Might be good. But here's the thing, they're getting so they keep elements of cartoonishness in it and they try to have the acting be to it. It doesn't work always. Do you know what I mean? and they try to have the acting be two. It doesn't work always.

Do you know what I mean? Like, it's a really a dark movie with violence, but it's like, I have to stop Joker's plan of releasing a balloon that's gonna put laughing gas all over the town. Do you know what I mean? It's the first time to deal with some real world problems right now. Well, that's why the Batman with what's his name works? Me, Patentson. No, no, the other one. Well, that one why the Batman with what's his name worked? Robert Pattinson.

No, no, the other one. Well, that one too, but the first, the original Batman. Christian Bale. Oh, oh. Christian Bale. Because maybe you've talked about this. The reason why that movie was successful with Batman is because all the tech that he used, they made it make sense.

Yeah. It was all military shit. So it all, like his, the way he could jump down and pull somebody up was, you know, levers and get, you know, all this military shit, which made sense. So they made it, like, in reality, that you could actually, maybe the government has this shit

as opposed to the other Batman, where like the Ice Man had an ice gun, and he made everything. And then you saw somebody bump into the ice, and it wiggled because it made out of plastic. But you still have to say, you know, that's still when all I think is, we have to get our medical or our military grade weapons and things and and all this technology we have. And we have to use that to go fight the scorpion. Like that's what I mean. That's what I mean. Yeah, you're right. That's what I'm saying with it.

You put all this realism of you, you hissed off to go and now time to go find the penguin who's releasing little toys under the streets that are going to blow up like little bombs. But the penguin in the last one with Robert Paterson was you know that was Colin Farrell. Yes, and he- That's what I was doing in TV show. That was great, huh? He's just a guy now.'s the one who's doing the TV show. That was great. He's just a guy now. I don't even know what he has to do with paying.

But that's almost the point of saying, like they're making it so real, they're taking away, now you're just making a story. It's like that a Batman movie anymore. Yeah, why do they call him the penguin in the last month? He did nothing. He's kind of ugly. He did nothing penguin-ish in the last movie.

No umbrella, that can do multiple things. Sort of fat. Because it's fat. It's fat. Yeah. That's what it was. Yeah. Danny DeVito's Pagman was just a little too outrageous.

By the way, Colin Ferrell, through our fat suit, Jared Leto, who plays Mark David Chapman in a movie, just got fat for it and then got back into crazy shape again. Yeah. Damn. Well, he's not going to walk on the street, not hot. No, but I'm saying. got fat for it and then got back into crazy shape again. Yeah. Damn. Well, he's not going to walk on the street, not hot. No, but I'm saying, you know what I mean?

M'Connor Hay and Christian Bale got the kudos for getting down to a maciated weight from being muscular guys. He went and got, he was a thin guy and went and got fat for a movie and then got right back snapped in the shape. That's impressive. Like getting fat going back and do it. A lot of them can't do that once they go fat, they can't lose it again.

They can't go back. I mean, look, he was as fat as me. I mean, he got fat for Mark David Chevin. That was pretty big. For him, I mean, he probably should just, he probably put on, that's probably like 70 pounds for him, right? I mean, that's a lot of weight. Yeah, I just did that in real life six times 60.

I've done it. I've done it a bunch. So if you're impressed with that, I've done it. I've done it a bunch. We know. 60 pounds. And I'll tell you what, he's not an attractive, heavy set man. He is fucking. He really does lose it with the fact. Now, here's the thing. They also, you know, it's makeup and moving to make him look like

Mark David Chapman, but you still see that you still here's the thing they also you know it's make up and moving to make him look like Mark David Chapman but You still see that you still see Jared leto in there and it's not yeah, he definitely Because he has a sculpted face which one is real and which one's the fake one? I mean he looks exactly like the real guy. Yeah, he did a good job on that I mean that looks like him Well talk because the movie's about him right? I watched it once I liked it Yeah, he plays a really creepy fucking it follows like his days though, right? Yeah, it's like over like three days or something. We kept standing out there. Yeah, it's a good actor

He's a really good actor. It's a great actor fashionista. You don't like 30 seconds the Mars to acknowledge his I do it I acknowledge he's a great actor was just a fucking respect. was just thought the Joker blew. I mean it didn't blow. He didn't blow. His Joker didn't blow. He did not blow. You're out of You did not blow. You can't say what I mean rolling your eyes. What the fuck? I mean if I argue suicide squad is unwatchable. It's unwatchable. The first one the second one was great. Second one was good. James Gunman was really good. The James Gunwell was awesome with, uh, with, uh, uh, uh, John Cena's character. Great. And his spin off was great. Peace, peace, peace, peace. He's made the best comic book thing I've seen years and years.

Oh, it's hilarious. It's great. It's just so redid. Cause you know why it doesn't take itself seriously. No, it's a comedy. Yeah, it's a comedy. A hundred percent comedy. It's great. So, fine. Damn, John Cena. I saw him up here the other day with Sam Roberts. Did you check did you tackle him? No, I just walked past him. He was very cool. You call me F. Word No, he was pretty wide, but he's not that tall, but he's really good. You can't see me No, I said I said no your gay get away from me nice

Did you tell him that you only have one friend who wears James shorts? His name name is J. O. Kerson and then send a message to him by punching him in the stomach Remember the guy who I remember the guy who hated us the yo bruv yo bruv the guy. Yeah, I figured his name now Dean something Mo Dean mo Dean Yeah, that guy with that where we found him was because he was members bothering John Cena He's like jumping an elevator with him and shit. Yeah. That's wild. And he's like, Oh, John Cena, he's like, Hey man, please, you know, to get not far already. And he was like, Oh, John Cena's a bitch.

Like we can fix yet. And so far, I'll look for you. Yeah. Yeah. John Cena freaked everybody out because he went in the ring a couple, like a month ago, he went back to wrestling. And the back of his head, he's just bald now. Oh, is he? So it's like he took his hat off and there was just this bald spot. Yeah, dude, it was, like he just said,

that fuck it. He said, fuck it. Yeah, dude, it's crazy. Looksy. Wait, something in the middle of it. Yeah, dude. It's crazy. Look see I mean something in the middle of it. Yeah hair. No Yeah That's really just his hair maddened down. Yeah, he just he just he took his hat off through it in the air and you're I mean I say good for him because I you know, I love

I love video or is he the video of that? Yeah, dude crazy. I didn't notice that yeah were you watching wrestling no when I walked past him you back in the game did you have a hat on no he might he might wear a wig is this it yeah yeah anywhere just like that bold spot on your

head ain't going anywhere. Oh, shit. Whoa, I would so much rather be balled than have them pipe in fake crowd noise for my matches because nobody cares. You know by some topic you still suck. Funny that they said it was really. That was real he that was a real moment that no no no absolutely That was a real moment and they kind of got a little fucked up like dude. What are you doing? You love wrestling? Well, I have quiz. I love wrestling. You don't like wrestling No, but whoever sits in the chair should love wrestling. I guess Let's feel right

I think that chair should love wrestling I guess. Let's feel right. Does feel right. No man, I don't get it anymore. Yeah. I try to don't get it anymore. You gotta love wrestling. You gotta go with Sam. Go with Sam to a show.

And first of all, Sam is royalty. Yeah. I mean, dude, we were at the show. He was so famous at WWE at Masseswagart. It was annoying me. Like nobody fucking said hi to me. Yeah, but the rest of it that they recognize they wrestlers We're in the ring and they look over and they wink at Sam ago Sam While they were wrestling. No, 100% I was there. Who was it?

I thought I was fucking whatever the rest of all of a sudden doesn't I'm gonna be the one guy who looked at Sam in the middle of the match I don't know what was I was up guy. I'm not like. Bruiser Brody. You gonna say a name from the 70s? And then... The Warlock. Was it Macho Manor Andy's average?

Oh, you've been working here in Prussian. No, yeah. It was the Macho Man. Coming to the Madison Square Cut. Dan's not here anymore, but I'm here. Can I tell you something? Yeah. That was at least 95% as good as Dan's impression.

I'd say right now, if you didn't tell me that was Bobby, I'd have been like, I was Dan back. I'm working on my impressions. Some Dan we're going to get Sam Elliott. He's dead off. Yeah. You're a man in this knee. Wait a second.

Tell me, is Dan piping that in? Is Dan on the phone? Who's doing that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're a man in this knee. And you come down to the dude. We just second tell me is Dan piping that in is down the phone who's doing that You had a man in this knees and you come down to the dude. We really have how do we not got that audio of how it what he actually says yet So we can work on the goddamn impression. Yeah, can we work on it? I'm gonna get it down by skank fast watch Do outs outside bar fight Roadhouse fight um roadhouse we'll find this I'll find what he says you know break a man's knee you're up like a friend that's him dying is nothing I'm gonna strip Dalton

take me to your doctor friend did you hear that is it oh what depends on which bar fight it is Is it? Oh, it depends on which bar fight it is. Yes. No? How about me, Chad? Yes. It's your right. It's, yeah.

Let Black Christine bring it up. Would you look up? Exactly what you said. Outside roadhouse outside of bar fight. Okay. Type in roadhouse. Wow. He always looked old that guy.

Right there. It's the second one. That one right there. Boom. the second one that one right there boom We're gonna get this line Bobby right now You can fast forward to the fight outside Boy that hurt don't it boy, I don't don't it boy. Keep going and then turn it up right here right here That's going me oh Your own business dad I love that line too

My on your business dad that I was in every move. Who's the bad guy in every funk? He's a wrestler Bobby you think you know that if you were super in wrestling Terry funk, he's a wrestling legend. I know who his family is. It's a legendary family What a thing was Terry Funk a bad guy and huh what other thing? Terry Funk a bad guy. I know his quiz day Well, you said this guy was a bad guy and everything this guy Terry funk wrestling legend Well, listen if I listen, I don't send Max into school if he has a, if they just do surprise quizzes, you let him stay home. I don't say home.

I'll give you a little. So let me know what you're going to do. Quiz J. Yeah. Well, just you know, he was also a bad guy in over the top. No, I said that. Nope. Nope. Hey, idiot.

Okay. Hey, that was. Lucy, you feel.. That was awesome. Lucy, you feel. You want to fight? I'm not sure I ain't going to show you my dick. Now, can I say something, pause? I can try that.

Oh, even as a child, which this was one of my favorite movies of all time still is. Never understood why you leave in a script. Because you want to fight Dickless, and he goes, well, I sure ain't gonna show you my dick. It's a terrible over it. I get a second response, but you're just like, to me, audibly it just hits,

like he only said dick, because the other guy said dick, and he got a few things. And he punches him a dick, it's bad writing. Well, I think, maybe if you look at it this way, you wanna, what is he saying about the dickless? What is he saying? You wanna fight dickless?

You wanna fight dickless? I'm sure I'm gonna show you my dick. I know it's a response. It's a response to, well, you know what? I'm not gonna show you my dick to prove that I have one. Yeah, so it's a, you're asking a lot for people to make that, the way it hits the ears is bad enough

that you think they would have changed the words even though the response, it's not the response doesn't make sense make sense. Let's change it. What would you change it to the first guy should have said something different called a different name? I go are you glad about this when he goes is one because the first thing he does by ways punches right in the balls And he goes if you went you want to fight dickless Maybe just punch him in the balls and then say, oh, it looks like you do. Looks like you do have a dick. Well, he probably knows. Now I'm saying dick again.

He probably should have said this. Hey, you want to fight with our dicks out? What do you say to that? Okay. Yeah. Maybe that would be... No, no, I'll be confused right and then you can punch me in the dick. Hey, hey, you want to fight with our dicks out?

What's that? B-O-O. How's your small dick? How about this? I wish I could have saw your dick. Hey, dickless. Hey. What if you just went, you want to fight dickless and he goes,

I don't have it. Look right here, dude. I just pulled this dick out. Look at my dick. You're crazy. Why would you say that? And could you imagine if you were that size guy getting beat up by an old Sam Elliott? Yeah.

It does look hilarious in hindsight You'll play it again. We got that we need to learn there it is Oh dude Oh Dude That fight is not realistic Yeah, let's carry funk Bobby Hey, I had it under control funk bobby

there's a line hang on i think you made it out now don't have done this before gentlemen wait garret exactly right wait wait come on i think you made it up that line's in there you made it up Clear it. Wait, wait. Oh, yeah, nice to see you. Come on. I think you made it up. No, that line's in there.

You made it up. No. Yeah. Spasher man's knee. He's, no man, come on. You want to fly with a dicks out? Cause he did it. He smashed his knee.

Jay. No, he says it. Jay. Fuck. Jay. Yeah. You want to fly with our digs out I'm sure I'm gonna show you my I guess it's gonna be the new line we work on no that lines in there It's not in there, dude. It's in there for sure. This is crazy

It was in the first the front of the bar fight. It is Yeah, how about front of the bar fight Christine please and just get to the end of it Hey, how about this one? How about this? It is the front of the bar fights after the guy pulls the knife out. Hey, how about this? Yeah. You have a win against a certain Dalton Hall. That's not bad at all. Do you remember another bad writing part of this?

When he calls the guy, tells me I have to leave because he has a knife in his boot. He goes, we're just here to drink and have a good time. And then he just throws the ax kick at Patrick's Waze, he can't catch it and he goes, you're too stupid to have a good time. And that's his line before he takes him outside.

You're too stupid to have a good time. Er, it is right. No, this is, I told you guys I never saw it. Not in it. You've never seen this movie. I refuse. Bullshit. It's just too dumb.

Be nice until it's time. Well yeah, fact I get none of these fights. You can't fucking fight. This is not the one. Oh, it's scroll down, scroll down, scroll down right there. That's it? Yes. Is it that one?

No, the one beneath it. Nope. Is it that one? Nope. Where is he kick somebody's knee in? Yes, it's the front of the bar fight. When he gets caught with a knife, it's the front of the bar fight. When he gets cut with a knife, it's the first night.

Let's just watch the whole thing. The first one. You just watch the whole thing, and it looks like it's the first post-production. The first night, he doesn't come in though. Oh, you saying Dalton says it? It's first night work and he goes knife, boot knife, and then it shines so you see the guys of boot knife, and they go to kick them out

But the other line isn't in the movie the one you said that he says it is where It's Patrick Swaisy who says it though now, so he tells another guy the biggest guy is smashes me I don't know what what's the problem? Not the family at line. No, no The same Ellie line, we don't need it for the impression now. No, but I do No, we just want to hear it now. It doesn't matter. Sam Elliott line is you want to fire with our dicks out Sure is ill. I'm gonna show you my dick. I sure is ill. I'm gonna suck your dick. I'm sure is hell gonna suck your dick You know, I don't really really sing me say those things

I'm a second deck. I don't know you were listening, do you say those things? Earlier you were talking about stuff that made you cry. And Lou and I were talking, Lou and I were talking about that last week. He has a video where a father and a son, what was it? Lou, have a catch. And then mine is a girl getting an autograph from Alex Morgan brings me to tears in 30 seconds.

Mine is when the the army guy is behind the kid at school. And then the kid turns around and sees his dad. Yeah. And he just starts and the little boy has to be a little boy. Little boy starts crying. I'm fucking out. I can't watch it. Oh, when they see you then just start crying.

The dad sit behind him and then the kids like, hey, what's the thing? He sees his dad and he's like, yeah, me like you're making me look like a moat school. How fuck you? Come on. No. How you talking about? How's that kid? Is your dad back? That's what I'd be. That's what I'd be a school. Did your dad come back from a war that makes no sense? And I throw a lot of politics into it because that's the kind of kid I was. His dad's, I was a very political child. And gave it up. His dad's what? I got lost at fucking asshole.

Fuck, I had a good one too. Dude, what was the one that made you cry? I mean, we all have dad issues, right? So it's a black dad who bought his son a bat that he wanted. And the son is so happy he's crying in the park a lot. And the dad starts crying. Son goes up to bat and the dad is sitting behind the home run fence.

First pitch, the kid rocks the ball. Hits it right to the dad. Dad's recording the whole thing. He's got the camera in his hand. He catches it with the ball with his hand. And he just starts sobbing. You can hear him sobbing behind the camera. And every time I see that video, it just makes me cry.

I mean, that's gay. Super hard. That's it. That is. That is. I'm confused. He was playing in a game and hit like a home run. Like a little league game.

Yeah. And he hits it right to his dad. Is it foul? Literally right to his dad. And the dad caught him. He got him out and they lost the game. That was a home run. Oh, it's a home dad as it's foul literally right to his dad and the deck got him out And they lost the game. Oh, it's a home run. He's a home run He's a little game has audience out in the outfield every one of them all them. No. Yes Little league dude. You don't have a boy. Yes, but standing around not like on bleachers the stands are all

I can't say no. I have a son that played little league and I was in the stands are all on the saw on the first baseline and third baseline side. No. Yes. Not all of them. Not always. What you saw. I don't know. Japanese traveling team. Bobby. I don't know. Z in the blue dragons. Is he in the white planes blue dragons? It was my god. I don't was I was I was you guys are playing minor league all of a sudden. Jay. Jay What do you think every every baseball field is Philly ghetto? Isn't it no you have little stadiums? Yeah, they have stadiums to look at this. Yes. They have stadiums I mean that's crazy. That's minor league That's not literally that's a 400-yard hold on just type in little league stadium a little league. I mean, that's crazy. That's minor league That's not literally that's a 400 y'all

Hold on. Don't just type in little league state a little league of feet. Yeah, Westchester little league ballpark type that in bang watch this Crazy Christine's slow typing. No, she's typing fast. Listen Whatever happened. Why does the room not make swaying noises anymore? We fixed it The wind hasn't been that windy again. Oh, it was just a windy day. So that will happen That's what you told me I'll be right. That was the doorbell thing. J. Don's look at these fucking dumps. When you talk about dumps He's a great look at that look at the field look at the what like I said first baseline

It's only along the third baseline the seats there. No, yes Right and also the third yeah scroll down right there right there. Look see what right there What there's houses like saying right there Mm-hmm scroll down scroll down scroll down right there see no No feeding up fields these are little little kids It doesn't it's okay if it hits the ball if you're sitting in the outfield. What way what when I played baseball, the stands were, were a, a new field.

I'll feel yeah. When did you play baseball? I mean, and I, when I was a kid, literally, it's not a Jewish young man's game. I was good. Hey, you know, didn't you play tennis? Yeah, I thought. It's not a Jewish young man's game. I was good. Yeah, you know, you can't be tennis Yeah, I thought you were more of a tennis guy No baseball was my game really a basketball and tennis with Jewish guys kids sports. I never was good at basketball never Yo, let's get Jake about the bad things. I'm not gonna play a sport that wasn't designed for me What do you mean a white man? No, you have to be like six feet to to play basketball

No, no, they don't tell Danny. He's that I mean look I've thrown a ball on that I got the video baseball as your game. Oh, you have a small strike zone can't get in touch with Kevin Hart No, yeah me either Hey, great news Me either what's this this is. Oh, the new back commercial because see if it breaks the loo to pieces. Man, yeah, I can't hear. He has a Honda pilot too. So they don't have the volume on proceed. They don't have that much money. Look at Lou Niagara Falls. Is it already happening? They don't have that much money. Look at Lil Niagara Falls.

Is it already happening? I think I cut it from the box. I don't know. Something about this kid's build doesn't tell me he's good at baseball. Oh, he got a bat. Oh, he got a, ah, I could give you a bat.

Do a weekend and hilarity is Cleveland. I got three bats. They're free bat dude. I give this kid a bat. This is getting is it? You're about to make me cry don't cry pull it out Not sounds if you just hear the audio it sounds dirty This is also the third time he's ever seen that kid this sounds like somebody

This is deadbeat dad making up for it. It sounds like a kid someone put it the audio is just a guy put a kid in a van Don't cry pull it out Me cry. Don't cry. Pull it out take it out. Take your pants. We both get in trouble. Here's a cigarette I'm not gonna show you my dick It's a flashy bat Yeah, it's a flashy bat. Happy birthday. Nice bat. Uh, dang.

I got it. Yeah! Yeah! I'm going, boom! I'm going, baby! I'm going to say to you how big. Where's Black Blue, master baby? Thanks, Homer, kid!

Look at him. Look at Lou. Thank you! Thank you, boo. I need to retarded people either doing really well or like, or like, or sad. Or sad. That's sad dude. Retarded people sad or whatever. That makes me cry. Aw. What? Sharp pay babies? Yeah. Sharp pay babies. You cry.

I can't believe you have too much face skin. Yeah, Sharp pay babies are sad. Let's show it. Don't show that. I did it. It just went out. We'll take it off the screen. That should play it a little bit.

Let's see a Sharp pay. No, no, lose. I don't want to lose to have a Sharp baby. Come on, I want to see a little asshole face baby. That's wild. What is it? I don't know, you can put a bunch of quarters in their face flaps.

That was the line draw. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Lou, that's sad, man. I get you. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't like that he calls his kid Boo. Isn't that what you call like your side piece? Yo, it's a Boo.

Yo, Boo, Boo. Me crack that. I think I felt, first of all, I feel like the dead took the ball off the field, which is not cool. He caught it. He caught it. He said, I got it. No, he caught it. Nobody said he said, I got it.

Yeah, but that's black me up, Lou. That's the way black people say I caught it. I got it. He said, I got it, but he's standing behind the home run fence. Yeah, He got it. Yeah. You can hang out back there. Yeah, but I feel like he probably reached over the fence. It was a forced home run. It was an illegal home run. An illegal home run. It should probably come off the books. If I'm being completely honest, they should probably clear that off the books. Sorry, Boo. That one's going to think and thank your dad for being a overzealous idiot and that off the books. Sorry, Boo. Can that one's going to think, and thank your dad for being overzealous,

idiot and reaching over the fence? Can I be honest, too? You're right. With the little leagues, they don't have the seats in the outfield. We sat in the outfield in their own seats. Okay. I apologize.

I apologize. For sure. You're right. Yeah. I've had bleachers in the outfield. You know, Max quit little league because he, because during the game, he got so bored, he took all the balls and he took them into the fans and

Sign them and gave them to the fans. That's pretty hilarious. Why was he right field? Was he right field? He was left field He was left field and the coach was like he's like, Max you're up and he was in he was just signing balls like autographs and handing them to people But not even on his team like the other teams You got yelled at he's like we need the balls max for practice They had a hit to go get all the balls back from the people with max's name on it offensive defensive baseball is so boring the best baseball for me watching it as a dad awesome Love watching baseball games for max who has ADHD fucking mind bending. I mean, he lost his mind. I would look out in the outfield. He'd be digging like holes. Yeah. That's mine.

Now if you did that, digging holes while the game's going on, digging holes in the ground and the coach would be like, Max, stop digging. You don't want to get to be yelled at like that. And then that's why we got him into Jiu-Jitsu. So there's somebody always trying to kill him. Yeah. That's good for ADHD. Yeah. Someone is trying to murder Max. Yeah, it gives him the focus on. For an hour.

That, and you got a Brazilian instructor, Maximos, go on top, play and go Maximos. Yeah. But, but you know what he's good at now? LaCrosse. LaCrosse is good at you. But baseball is a hot, you have to be a calm kid. LaCrosse moves to. LaC cross he moves. He's the goalie

I Loved being at bat. I love like being actually a just an offense in general when you're watching your team at bat and then going up and seeing where everything's at when you get up There was fun, but man, boy the defensive part of it I was right field because I wasn't fast. So like it was just waiting for nothing. You're standing, just hoping the teams that guys can we get through deep counts, like getting deep in the counter, please. You're just resting on your knees. And this. Why is it so many innings? It was terrible for me too, because my mom put me and my sister, who was three years old,

and me in the same team. We were both on the Indians and she was really good. Yeah, there's all both. No baseball, little league. So she was on my team. Like T-Ball? Ah, what the fuck? It was little league, little baby, you know, when we're kids, we're both on the Indian. So we had to go together, but everybody loved her because she could hit, she was bigger than everybody else. You know what I mean? She was just this big girl smacking the ball and cranking them. Just stupid bob stupid Bobby swinging and missing every fucking back fingers Yeah, it sucked would you be a bad engage I'd go, but I'm I don't think I have an eye for it anymore though. It's been Decades I actually swung a baseball ball

I thought somebody swung a baseball bat was LA softball game They had those comic stupid things and I went and they were playing this other Mexican team and I swung and I pulled my hamstring, ripped it on the first bat and then I crawled the first base and I was lying on first base in pure agony and I looked over and there was three Mexican dudes under the tree in the shade from the game before they're like, yo, essay, come over here, have a beer, man. You don't lie there in the sun. I crawled over and hung out with the...

The Mexican. The Mexican is just sat there and like, I don't drink, dude. I was just an agony. Hey, everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer.

That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go on a little, little, little. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink. Go on a little, little, little, little. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stigke.