The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Red & Green Flags

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

DJ Lou is dating someone who loves New Edition and Jay educates him on the group because he is a big fan. He then has to teach Bobby about the group Jodeci. Bob does a sexy dance to their music and they discuss rhythm with a woman. The guys read an article about "35 Green Flags" a man should have. A woman should chose her partner depending upon his openness, social skills, ability to cry, and many other qualities. Bobby and Jay go through the list to see how many green and red flags they get. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Collective solo. Yeah, this is your era dog Do you When you fuck the music Lou is it always Pearl Jam No my current girlfriend is Pearl Jam? No, my current girlfriend is African American, so it's a lot of Luther Vandross. She's black?

What does it mean she's black? African American? What's the score? Charlize Theron's African American. I thought she was Indian. She's black and Indian. Are you sure? Yes. So you fucked a Luther Vandross and ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding You? Get out of my bed. Take your Christmas gift and trade something with her.

I will give you this hat and this candy bar for hand jobs and blow jobs. You will trade. You will get this great bounty for your daughter's hand. He doesn't have to barter. He told me he's exhausted from all the hot sex he's had. You already said that before you cock-sucking-a-hat. Yes, but you talked over it. Noise them back. They didn't pick up on it. Why would you be mad at Jacob for saying you're having a lot of sex?

I mean he already said it once. And they didn't hear. I didn't hear. Well she listens to the show, once she hears maybe I won't get as much sex. Why? Are you saying it's not good? First of all.

Apparently you said it was great. It is great. First of all I'm gonna say this, met her, darling. She's awesome. Beautiful. I think she's great. Really, and I met her by surprise. They were at my show Friday night.

Didn't know Lou was there. Didn't even ask for tickets, just was there. Coming off, he was sitting there. He was actually sitting, I thought he was with a group of people, and I was saying hi to them too. Hey, what's going, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. And hey, what's going on?

I met his girl, sweetheart, beautiful. And then when I left, left Lou's like I don't know these fucking people were sitting with but I really I said hi to all of them. I was Hey, all right take care. Oh you must be his black girlfriend's friend You really impressed those strangers because they they were surprised to know that I knew you now Yeah, Lou's having black sex. Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah, well, you really went from zero to 60 on that. Oh, the hack. Fucking hack.

I'm sorry. Yeah, we really snapped at a guy for saying, like, all this wonderful hot sex you're having. Fuck you, Jacob. Oh, because I could hear him winding up to say it again. I'm like, oh, he's going to bore us again with this. Oh, Jesus Christ. Nobody's bored. Everyone loves it.

Well, is Arthur saying it again? No. You're bored of your amazing sex? amazing sex I'll show you how black she is we're going to see new addition I'm loose trigger I'll tell you how not black she is she's fucking you discriminate in my house well it's only you and your brother two bald men not discriminating in your house for a black woman coming in. She probably thought that was a trap the first time you fucked. She's like, I better fuck him or I might not get out of here.

Did Will approve of her or meet her? I didn't take her home yet. I'm smarter than that. No. Why, he'll steal her? No. When she goes there and sees him breakdancing in his breakdance studio.

That's why Lou. Yo, is that your twin brother? I thought that was you pop locking in the kitchen. He's like, nah, that's my brother. I can't stop. That's why he grew that specific facial hair. Yeah, I'm the evil twin. Exactly.

Wait, why does he have a break dancing studio? I don't know. I love it. Because he goes back to break dancing to impress your black girlfriends? I'll take it. I like it. Hell yeah. So what kind of music... So what do you listen to when you fuck now?

You're going to see New Edition? Yeah. When? Uh, May, Valentine's Day. Where? Vegas, The Wind. Oh, it's like a residency or something they're doing. It is. Oh, I thought they were playing here.

I got so excited. What members? All of them. All of them. Including Ralph. Yeah, I told you, I follow Jordan Knight on Instagram, It's great What the hell's up to with new addition? Jordan Knight, isn't that the lead singer?

Was fucking crazy which has happened. I'm sorry. That's a That's new kids in the block. Yeah, it was stuck in that and they're both from Boston It's not that far off of a fucking leap. Except it's five black dudes. Against five white guys from the same town. Not the same town. Same town. Dorchester. No.

They're all from Dorchester. No. I don't know why I'm fucking speaking Boston. They're from fucking Dorchester. You're kissing the block for fucking candy asses. They're all from Dorchester. No. Yes.

Bunch of pussies you ask me. New edition would fuck them up. Christine, stop buying pocketbooks and look it up. Christine, you guys a chance to stop buying pocketbooks and look this up, that'd be great. You have the magic box in front of you, Bobby told you. Yeah.

New kids in the block are from Dorchester. They're from Dorchester, yeah. They're from fucking Dorchester. Okay. All of them. But the gay part. No, there's no gay part of Dorchester. I bet you there is.

Not anymore, not now then might be, but back then it was fucking the rough part of town. Yeah, gay part. No, there's no gay part of Dorchester. I bet you there is. Not anymore, not in Malden it might be, but back then it was fucking the rough part of town. Yeah, because all those guys were fighting when they really wanted to be fucking each other. It's a gay bashed city. I guess that every place is gay, even the studio. Everywhere is gay. And new additions from Roxbury.

Roxbury, Dorchester, same area and same type of thing. That's what I would say. I'm telling you, it's the same thing. South Philly, West Philly, potato, potato. I'm telling you. Roxbury, Philly potato potato. I'm telling you Rochbury Dorchester, they're all from that area. That is a pretty back when I was growing up was a pretty rough area Where were the Boston Bombers from? They kick both their asses Boston Bombers. I don't know where they were from the Marathon Bombers

They would beat up new kids in the block and new addition at the same time No made me mental when all the women were hot for the bomber. Ugh. It made me sick. Why? Because he's a beautiful boy? Well, they're hot for this new kid. Oh, they're hot for the, yeah, well, he's a man.

Why were you sick about it? Because he just murdered some people? Girls can't be hot for his cock? Yeah. It was nauseating. You think it's because he's a cold-blooded killer who hurt families and children. Yes.

For that reason alone, you're upset because women just want to take his seed no matter what and let him fill all their holes So what you're saying is beautiful dick. So what you're saying is is that you have to be? Into God a good person and hot for girls to want you not you can't have any indiscriminately murder a bunch of people One day a lot of death but one mistake and all of a sudden I can't be on this guy stick. I Would say no, I mean you got to cut him out. Well, I respect the fact that you stick to your guns but agree to disagree New editions all of them Ralph Tresvant that's the most important to me always. That's our favorite too, why? He's the voice.

He's the voice. It's the same problem, it's like, here's what's gonna be a bummer, and I'm going. If you think I'm not going to see Toto with Men at Work and fucking Christopher Cross, we have to see that. That show's gonna be awesome. I love Christopher Cross. But Toto, the guy ain't coming back.

You have Steve Lukather, who's the songwriter and the guy who, he hits all the other parts but the voice you know and love from Toto will not be present. Well Sticks had the guy but his voice was exactly like the other guy's voice and looked the same. Dennis DeLong. They looked the same. Yeah yeah. They both had that stupid mustache.

And a little dumb curly fro. And the vest. They both wore vests. Yeah but this is fucking Toto's same thing. You you need the voice so Ralph Tresvant is that I know it's like five guys it's saying and everyone's got their parks and stuff Ralph Tresvant like the High well he's the high-pitched voice. He's the voice and not everybody can do how's it go which? How's his voice sound what song any song hmm? You want to hear some Ralph Tresvans and put on sensitivity by

Ralph Tresvans I would love new addition to get a Filipino replacement it would be pretty fantastic yeah well Bobby Brown I don't know this guy's like impervious to drugs this guy just stays living huh that's still one of the funniest things that's one of my favorite Tony Robbins jokes right there he goes so that life's just not fair and he goes Michael Jackson dead Bobby Brown, still one of the funniest things. That's one of my favorite Tony Robbins jokes right there. He goes, tell me that life's just not fair. And he goes, Michael Jackson dead, Bobby Brown's still living. And he starts doing the dance, he goes,

this motherfucker's dead, and this motherfucker's still alive. He starts doing the body under it, and this motherfucker's still alive. Bobby can't sing anymore either. Bobby Brown, no way sing. I bet his dancing's pretty fucking garbage at this point. He couldn't sing back then. Now I could be in new edition.

With some light choreography work, I could probably be in. I'd love to see them today, 2025. He really makes you earn it. This is the weird line between going like, is this guy possibly gay? But damn, I bet he gets pussy Here I know why she made me grow this mustache You really have a Ralph Tresvant right now

You know that performance. I always watch with if it is in love He's the main guy singing yeah at the Apollo when we're all gonna get our white flowing suits Don't don't mock it do it. I thought I was try I don't know the exact word You had it the first time You need a man with sensitivity A man like me Someone who can love Someone who will love Someone who will love Someone who will love

Someone who will love Someone who will love Someone who will love Someone who will love I don't know the words Why you looking at me so sensually No, no, no, that's not well, yes sort of Ricky Bell Michael Bivens who was the other guy? jodesy Remember jodesy Who was the other guy? Joe Dece? Remember Joe Dece? Do you think it's a man named Joe Dece? What's his name? Well there's five of them. It's a group. Who was the...

Casey and Jojo. Let me tell you something. Yeah? There's nothing I hate more than you. You bring it up and then you're mad at me. You said who's Joe Dece? Who was he? It's a funny question. Because you sit up on your asshole Yeah, and then you look down won't you ask me who Jethro tall is to what a nitwit Who's Leonard Skinnerd No, who is Jodeci Who Casey Jojo and then three other guys the main guy? The the Ralph Tresvant that the voice you're gonna want? That's what I'm talking about. Casey.

Casey, right. Skinny dude, good looking. No, not good looking. But uh... Right there, that guy. Burn pencil. No, no, that's JoJo. That's JoJo. But that's not who you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear Casey. Put on If You Think You're Lonely Now, Wait Until Tonight by this dude. I'll tell you what, man, this was so fun.

Like a black dude just screaming at a white woman, fucking do what you're told. This is the stuff I used to fuck to. I know, it's pretty funny. Why, are you kidding me? I fucked with this a couple times in the 90s. That's when I was fucking a lot. Why is it so crazy you guys are fucking in the 90s? I can't, you know what, dude?

It seems crazy that you were born in 85 and fucking in the 80s. Yeah, slut. You were such a baby slut. Seems crazy you were born in 85 and fucking in the 80s Yes You were such a baby slut I'll turn it up. You can't fuck to this. We're cold outside Girl You'll be holding me You'll be holding me Well, well, well, well, well

Look at Bobby laying down that dick Shit if y'all don't mind Oh, Bobby you climaxing? Are you getting close? Turn it up Lou! Oh yeah Wait until tonight girl Oh you better wait till tonight Yeah baby Wait until tonight girl I'll be lost

Damn, Bobby fuck it out Bobby you can Can you hit me from behind with that? Yeah As long as you get pepperoni pizza But it's got to be the little cups to catch the oil you have the oil we can drink from it like Casey was cool, but again. This was a different time. This is even if you sing now

I feel as a black dude you got to throw some hardcore rap in there a little bit, too You got to be a little bit of both. You can't just be pretty exclusively You gotta throw some hardcore rap in there a little bit too. You gotta be a little bit of both. You can't just be pretty exclusively. Nobody was worried about Joe Dece coming in and fucking up the party, but you were worried about them coming in and singing their way right into your girl's fat cunt.

And I'll tell ya. But you definitely, yeah, that's what you would be, you're like, damn, do these guys, or it's like, I'm not that kind. So to be white and Pretend to find that level of black sultry dare I say hmm It's it's no good. It's too much if now Yeah, you can't do you can't fake it. I can't I don't fake it. I feel it. No you're faking it I feel I feel it. No, you're pretending. You're a black person for a second

I'm not I'm pretending. No, it was it was a friend of me and black Lou And that was we watched you fuck and you were pretending to be a black man. I was pretending to have a very large dick Yeah, that's right. I mean you were doing yeah, you were pulling out you were doing way back pullouts, dude Way back below and I pushed it all the way you're gonna bend your dick and you're gonna get peronies disease when you miss the hole One time you're pulling out too far man. I won't be like I got it. I got it. Hang on. I push it all the way in. You're going to bend your dick and you're going to get Peyronie's disease when you miss the hole one time. You're pulling out too far, man. Mine would be like, I got it. I got it. Hang on.

I got it. I got it. Did you ever catch the perfect rhythm with a chick where she's riding and you're like, she's just, I tell you what, talk about a fear of holding down thighs when I feel her come ups are coming like right there. Yeah. And you're like, she's not going to perfectly time this.

There's nothing worse than when the girl has to keep putting it back in and going, it's OK. I time this. There's nothing worse than when the girl has to keep putting it back in and going, it's okay, I got it. Has that happened to you? Yeah, well, it just keeps flopping out. Has to keep putting it back in? Yeah, where it keeps, she's on top and she keeps popping out and she's like, I got it.

And she has to keep reaching back. Well, sometimes you gotta be like, hey, where do you, are you trying to hit the roof with your head? What's, who needs to jump up this much? Stop fucking me like the last guy you fucked. You know, if you come up higher and slam down hard, it doesn't get it in there more. You're at the base.

It's as big as it gets. It's not a Juni's Lambo. Yeah, our fucking pubes are tangled up like fucking Velcro. That's all it's going in. Maybe if I come up way higher and come down with more velocity and then panicking that your dick's gonna get bent in half is one of the scariest things in the world.

Why are you coming up so high? What are you trying to prove? Did you, Christine sent that list over that I was taking a gander at. Oh yeah? Yeah. Did you confirm that? Well, it says stay single until you find a man with these 35

green flags. Okay. Okay. So I went over just a little bit and I just wanted to see them fresh so I haven't seen all of them. Mostly. So I was thinking maybe we could go through these. And should they give you one of them right away? He is kind to those who work in the service industry. I think yesterday you asked me what a green flag is. Which is why this white one is up. It's an Irish gay guy. Yeah, green flags. That's what they call them, right?

Yeah, green flags. Isn't that what you get when you suck another guy's dick in the soccer? I know, it's a red flag. Oh, really? I didn't know they actually had a colored flag that goes for sucking guys cocks. Alright number one Jay. This is easy. He's an active listener. He doesn't just wait for his turn to speak or give you his opinion or to give you his opinion. Instead he gives you

the floor, makes solid eye contact and asks follow-up questions. He is sincerely interested in the things you have to say. I am not this. I am not this. I am a red flag. That's a red flag for me right there. One red flag. Should we tally? Really, do you make eye contact with your fucking girl while she's talking?

I can't possibly. Why would you? If it is, it's usually attached to the face like this. I've hit pause and I've done this. My head's cocked sideways, my eyes are looking up at her from an angle and it's like get through this. Yeah, I'm actually saying the Lord's Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can change. It's hard to change things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Right and the thing is I'm not actually waiting to think about what I have to say. I just I zone out what she's saying. I look at her and I say things like, I think if I punched Christine she wouldn't get me arrested. Here's the thing, if they just added one word to this, I'd have her green flag. He fakes sincerely interested in things she has to say. Okay. But fake it till you make it.

I mean, if you can fake it. Fake it till you make it is good. So if we fake it, I faked it. You can fake it. Okay, so you can fake it. So I'm a green flag, I faked it. I faked waiting for her to finish a lot Jay. Sometimes I finish and then Jay will just completely

He'll be like, oh, I think we should put in laundry tomorrow. And I'm like what I was just telling you about my friend that died So Christine very important things and she'll be like, what? I was just seeing if they have this thing I want, a bag that I want. I don't have that many bags, guys. You have a lot of bags. I have like five. That's a lot.

I know. He's just number two. Number two, Jay. Oh, wait, so you guys are both green on this because you can fake it? Yeah, you can fake it. No. If we fake it, I faked it.

I can't fake it. I faked it. My face gives it up. Yeah, you can fake it. No. If we fake it, I faked it. I can't fake it. I faked. My face gives it up. Yeah, your face does give it up. I've waited her to finish for her opinion. You can sincerely interest me, by the way, as a female, but I'm just saying, but if I'm not interested, I really may have

a blank look through. You can almost see look through your face you just like dying well you see number two he's a solid communicator he is open and honest he tells you what he's feeling what he isn't feeling and generally just knows how to express himself in an appropriate way no this would almost not be me too I'm open pretty open I am there's no way to say that I'm open, pretty open. I am, there's no way to say that I'm consistently honest. No way. Can we say...

I tell Christine what I'm feeling and not feeling, no. And I know how to express myself in an appropriate way. I do know how to, but it's a waste of time with Christine. I actually would say... I would say yes yes if you add, now the way you, can I yell when I say this? No, that's not gonna be a good communicator. I don't think yelling's part of the green flags.

Then I would say no. Can I say it at her almost passed out from me shaking her shoulder grab? If yelling what I feel interface and Is not know that I'm a green. I'm a red express himself in an appropriate. Yeah We're saying when I asked you to do this you said you would and you don't fucking do it every time you we do now We're in the same situation. So yeah, that's a red flag. Yeah me and Bobby both. I mean I'm expressing my feelings Yeah, red that's a red flag. Yeah me and Bobby both. I mean I'm expressing my feelings

Bobby I'm with you. I'm honestly expressing how I feel you're an asshole that doesn't listen Bobby I've said that I hope I wish I could find a girl I can pay to beat the shit of Christine when she walks out of the building So listen, you're right. That is I'm expressing how I I feel, but that is not appropriate. Okay, so red flag, two red flags. Two red flags. All right, what's the, number three. Number three, Jay. He isn't afraid of embracing girly things. For example, he isn't against fruity cocktails

or showering on a regular basis, right? He is secure enough in his mask and he doesn't have- Green flag, Jay. Above things that are usually associated with femininity. Big Jay, yes, that's a big green for me. We, I mean, I am a double green flag on that one. Green, green. You're both green.

Now, number four is a difficult one here. He doesn't always need to be right. But what do you do when you are? Always. Most of the time. In our conversations, me and Christine, I think she's been right never. That's probably why we haven't gotten anywhere

in these conversations. Yeah, she doesn't understand that she's wrong. So it goes, what does it say? He takes accountability for his mistakes. He owns up to it when he falls short and takes the necessary. Wait, where are you at? It says, in fact, he owns it when he screws up

or is flat out wrong about something. He takes accountability for his mistakes. He owns up to it when he falls short. I actually do this. This is very me actually. Do you disagree, Christine? Wow. I'd say like once you're caught.

Once you're caught lying. Once you're caught with the first three. But you're saying once you're caught, no, no, just if I'm wrong about a thing, if I forgot, no, I'm a quick to apologize person and shit like that, for sure. Wow. No?

She's right there. Even though Christine. I would say I- I don't know how to score this because you're both- I definitely do that. I will definitely own when I- I don't always need to be right.

So it's definitely a green for me. I definitely, it's a green for me too. Kind to those who work in the service industry, also green. Yes, yes. Green, green. Green, green. He's good with kids. Even if you both don't want children

yourselves, being kind to kids is a massive green flag. It shows he has empathy and patience. Green, green. Okay, I'd stop you on there. Why? I don't know, because you sent Max a present. Nice. And in the card you wrote,

to Max, make sure you go check out dad's. This is between me and him by the way. It's actually illegal what you did opening up the mail. I didn't open my mail. I went into my room and he was going through my draws. Why? Because you wrote him a letter, make sure you go through your dad's side draw.

Now Jay, here's the thing. Thank God you didn't write go through Don's side draw because it would have pulled out three dildos. That we panicked. We ran in the room and we're like what are you doing? What are you? Jay told me to go through the draws. He didn't say he just read draws in the bedroom. He was about to go to Dawn's Draw and find vapes and dildos. Oh no. I just gotta learn some time. If you see a dildo, you're gonna have to vape. After a dildo, it never becomes vape.

I'm just gonna tell him it's art. This is a war hall. Yes, green. Both green. Both green. I mean, yes, green, but you're devilishly on the edge with other people's kids. He asked you for advice, and it actually takes it seriously? Yeah, I'd do that.

Green, absolutely green. Go ahead. Number eight, he's a good buffer person. How long is his list, by the way? 30? 25, I think? Okay, all right. 25 left, 30 something. 30 something.

Well, it's 30. It's 35. It says they should have. It says until you find a man with a 35. So it's all, but I'm saying is it all 35? Yes. You have to have all 35? Gotcha, gotcha. I was going to say, I thought it was like 35 out of like 50

things that we were going to say. What lunatic came up with this? I'll go through these a little bit quicker. She's probably single. Yeah, exactly. For sure. She's probably childless and single. Here's a good one.

OK. Bunch of cats. Number eight. Number eight, he's a good buffer person. This means that he can hold his own when you take him to family events or work parties or to meet your friends or happy hour. He's engaging those around him

until he's sincerely interested in other people. Red flag for me on this one big time. I have, my ex-wife Carla, not that I would do bad necessarily, but I'm just not that, I went to her work people's Christmas parties or something. I was just, again, I was walking to the house, tell me where the people go to smoke,

and then I will be outside there most of the night, I'm doing my own thing, and talking to the other people who come outside and smoke. I'm not good at this at all. I'm a green flag, I am a small talk king. I love small talk, elevators, buses, parties. We went to Schumer's party at Schumer's house. I mean, literally, me and David Tell and Christine

walked the perimeter of the building the whole time. We didn't go inside. We looked in all the windows. I just looked in all the windows. Yeah, I actually talked to everybody. Yeah. Yeah, I like small talk. You also knew everybody there.

Me and Bobby flip flopped there. Yep, okay, there you go. I'm red on that one for sure. Red and green. Okay. Nine, he has a solid group of friends Yeah, okay. There you go. I'm I'm red on that red green okay Hey, nine. He's has a solid group of friends. He has been friends with for years green green green for sure Ten he's the first person you want to share your good news with and your bad news and basically any news you have it all really I am

Buddy you're green cuz you're the only person she can do it with. You're green, you just also have to say like, you really can't tell anybody this. Oh yeah yeah yeah. You have to really prep like, hey I need you to like, this is not for... Yeah, you're green with a muppet mouth. Casual conversations. You really don't shut your trap. What did Dave say on his case? Like, oh wait, anybody that's near Jay's best friend, he's like, Oh yeah, this divorce has been really hard.

It's like a stranger. Oh, it's fucking crazy. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. I remember you told me. My lawyer asked me not to mention, not to talk about the divorce very much at all. And then Alex was on the phone with her mom,

and she heard me saying it to them. She's like, Jay, I just asked you five minutes ago not to talk to anybody, but I go, yeah, but these are my friends on the skanks meeting. And then they're like, Jay, I'll tell everybody. And then a guy just walked by on the street of the meeting I was on. I was, I go, hey, ex-wife's trying to take me

for a fucking ride, man. She's really bending me over and shoving my ass. She's like, sucks, dude. I'm like, I know, man. All right, after that guy, I promise. That's not telling anybody else. You and Bobby Lee, if you want people to know something, tell you and Bobby Lee. I remember with the bonfire, after that guy, I promise. That's not telling anybody else. You and Bobby Lee, if you want people to know something, tell you or Bobby Lee.

I remember with the bonfire, you told me, don't tell anybody. And then someone came up to me and said, congratulations on the bonfire. Rob Dukes brought it up this week. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. Nah, Jay told me, it's cool. Rob Dukes brought it up this week,

he said to you, so Jay, and he said, after I had told him that it is happening, that he spoke to you and you did the right thing, we're like, no, nothing like that's happening. And now he knows you lied to him, it's my fault. Yeah, you made me lie. Yeah, I made you lie to your friend. So, green for me.

Want to share my good news with, and bad news. It's we wanna share our good and bad news with you you first as your girlfriend. I'm not good for bad news I'm not good. You know what? I'm a red. I don't tell Dawn any bad news. No, it's hurt coming to her So does she want to tell you? Oh, yeah, she I'm agreeing that yeah She can tell me cuz I'd say like if anything major that happens like you're my first phone call Yeah, generally unless it's like a family thing and I'm dealing with family before I get to you. So we're both green. I have a hard time though with bad news

on it's like when I have to over empathize for the person. Like I worry I'm not doing enough. I don't know if I am good, but exactly that. It's like, hey, a family member of mine who matters to me that you've never met is dead and I'm gonna be sad for a while now. I have to have like a, for how long? Because I'm having a sad for a while now. I'm gonna have like a for how long? Because I'm having a hard time finding the energy also

to be sad for you. So I might. Red me. I think it's fair. You get a red me on that one. I don't think you're a red on that one. Okay, well you're the call so green is. I think you're green on that one.

Green, green, green. 11. 11, he genuinely wants to know your friends and family. He makes an effort to ask you how they're doing. He is friendly and engaging when he sees them and remembers the little things they've told him in the past. He truly cares about them because you do. Yes, to some degree. I genuinely don't know. I have to remind myself of Christine's father's name a lot.

I've met him once or twice, I think. What? Yeah. That's something with like, me? John? Us in a relationship where I'm 3,000 miles away from everybody, it's like, if we lived near my family, I'm sure you would know my dad and my uncle and stepmom much better than you do.

You should know his name. Yeah, you should know his name. John, question mark. No, I'm saying it right. His name's John? You're a red. I might be a red on that one. Yeah.

Yeah, well, also I will say Christine's friends, for the most part, made horrific first impressions on me. A lot of them. A lot of them came in hot or pissy or shitty about me. Yeah, when you're a girl, your friends aren't like super stoked to meet the married man you're having an affair with. They're not like, oh, well, he's probably a great guy. He's a good catch. He has all 35. You need to dump him right now. What are you doing?

He has all 35 red green flags. So it took a bit of time. Well, I would go and be nice and they were shitty and then None of these dips realize that I can be way shittier Like if they're nasty to me, but you're also I just poisoned them all against Christine now She hangs out with none of them. I Went to all her friends and I go and Christine talks so much shit about you guys It's weird to defending her like this and then they don't talk to her anymore

I did lose my I would have to I would have to say red Except for Christine's friends that live out of state, I've gotten rid of all of her local ones. Don hasn't made a friend in 14 years. Christine's got a bunch of friends. Number 12, he is passionate about something. Anything, art, movies, music, a nerdy hobby, human rights, whatever it is he pursues it with fervor come on green screen green

He gets excited about the little things green green for sure I Get so excited tonight get to watch my fucking sixers play they're terrible, but I get excited 14 14 He doesn't get weird about crying. He comforts you when you cry. He doesn't turn away or get uncomfortable, and he isn't afraid to cry himself I'm a green. I'm a sympathetic crier. You cry, I cry. I don't know. Dawn cries, I'm in tears, and I got her in my arms.

I cry, I do a lot of my crying alone. That's sad. It's me crying, it's you comforting me if I'm crying. Well, it says I'm also not afraid to cry myself. I cry. I'm afraid. I cry. Thank I'm crying. Well, it says I'm also not afraid to cry myself. I cry. I'm not afraid. I cry. To keep from crying.

I... I... And I said to myself, if I could stay funny, I could stay alive. There you go. Now you're getting it. Yeah. I'm agreeing on that one.

Atlanta, same old line. I don't... I don't like when a girl starts crying. I don't know, it's the situation. Look, it depends on the moment. If it's like a death and I'm crying, you're going to be very sweet. If it's like a fight and I'm crying,

you're going to be like, get rid of those crocodile tears. You know? Jesus Christ. I twist a knife. You start crying, it's my twisted knife. I go, don't play this game now. If Dawn starts crying, she wins, I'm out, I'm bad.

I know, it makes him angry. We't start crying. She wins. I'm out. I'm bad. I know it makes them angry We went to therapy Custle couple therapy one time she started crying immediately. He goes. How does it make you feel when he does that? And I was like you I'm bad. You're good. Let's go I take Christine's tears at my fingers and I push them back into her fucking eyes When they're coming down I go get those back in there, let's not waste those. Oh, I'm so sad. And Dawn doesn't cry that much,

but when she cries I'm out. I think Christine's wanting me to be more green flags than I am. I cry more than Dawn. I'm giving you a red for that. You're giving me a red for that? Okay. Is he red for crying?

Yeah. Okay. I'm a green. I don't wanna cry in front of a chick. We should do what in the business called a radio reset and say we're going through the 35 green flags. We are going through the 35 green flags that a man should have if you're gonna be with them. They say stay single! Stay single unless he has all of these. So far I'm out. I mean, this is a high. You're not locking me down forever. This is a high bar.

This is a high bar. Listen. Number 15. He goes beyond the bare minimum. He puts in the work necessary to make a relationship flourish. Man, the stink face you just gave. Radio could talk. No, believe me.

You do give me very nice gifts. Can I tell you this? Thank God it does. This? Thank God you just did. Christine, do you think you're, Christine, do you think you're a green flag on this for somebody else? Do you believe that? This is a weird thing that you're doing. This is about us, not about them. No, but she just made a face. I would say it goes beyond the bare minimum. Are you kidding? No, it's not that. It goes beyond

the bare minimum, sure. Putting in the work necessary to make a relationship flourish I don't know committed to an asylum he is you wanted me to go crazy I got myself out yeah well as long to pay beyond the bare minimum I broke out you're actually trying to you were calling us going, how do I get her into this thing? Yeah. Yeah. She had to go. In the long run, he did help you.

Yeah, I'm not saying I shouldn't have gone. I'm just saying I was able to break myself out. There's no amount of work I could put in to make Christine flourish. I have flourished in our relationship. So have you. You're such an asshole. I'm going to give that a red flag. Red flag that.

Since I've known you, since that called the incident, you guys have 100% flourished together. OK, sure. That's not flourishing, Jay. That's actually not flourishing. We don't have a lot of time for these. So are we flourishing or not flourishing? Bobby, do you flourish? I am a flourisher.

I put in the work necessary to make a relationship flourish. Give me a red flag, I don't care. You can have a green flag. You can't have that attitude. Jacob, red flag me on that one. Very hard with the two of you. You've been a great partner. But I also said I don't feel bad about that red flag

because Christine is red flag all day on that one I say it's our face you was I don't have dawn here to have make faces too You understand. I'm just saying I'm green flag. I'm sure John would have the face like she can smell shit, but doesn't know where it is to on some of these She ever in for it. We should call her one time on these. Let's get a couple more in. I'll tell you what. You want to speed do them? Huh? You want to speed do them? Can I just do try and mimic Christine's face from that last one? Sure. Yeah sure go ahead. It's hard. It's hard. I can't get my face to do it. It's fine. Eeeee. 16. Oh this is great. 16. Oh, this is great. 16, he is consistent. He doesn't leave you guessing about what time he'll be home or what mood he'll be in on

any given day or even a given moment. He is consistent and stable. Now, this is a difficult one. Because what time I'll be home is pretty easy. I stay in pretty good touch for like that so you're not worried about where I'm at. What mood I'll be in on any given day or given moment, consistent and stable or no? That's a red, that's a big old red. Yeah, I'm a red on that.

I mean, the first half. But again, we're going back and forth. Would you call Donna red? This is Christine gone all the time. I mean, she's, yeah, I mean, that's just as much a red flag here. Donna's in pretty much the same mood most of the time. She's not a moody person, but me

Yeah, I weigh I'm fucking bipolar. Yeah, so reds that's red for us This is an unfair question though, because it's two cool. It's two things in one I am constantly on time. She knows where I'm gonna be I tell her everything but now you're saying but consider But it's asking for kids it so you can't say I'm fully consistent when my mood now on any given day Yeah, for sure. Like I just get I'll get in the complete. I'm like, I fucking hate where I live I hate this play I get and it's like I just come home and I just like yeah today's just gonna be a I don't Want to talk and sit around So we're Reds on the 16 sure 17. He is in therapy Or at least open to and about mental health care. Yeah, I'm open about and to it

I do it. Yeah, I mean I go to meetings I go to therapy but this says he's in therapy, which I am NOT So you're red. I'm a green. I'm red flagging you. That's fine. Yeah, he makes you feel 18 You would go to therapy, huh? You go to therapy. I've gone to therapy. But would you go to therapy? No why? go to therapy? I've gone to therapy. But would you go to therapy? No. Why? Time, it seems stupid to me. I get that it works for people. Well, you had a lousy therapist from what you said. She just rolled her eyes again. Please. That's so not-therapeutical of you. I just don't know how therapy, I think therapy would be good for you. You have so much going on all the time. I think therapy would be fantastic for you. You have so much going on all the time. I think therapy would be fantastic for you. You know, this is how Dan lost his job.

Pushing therapy on him. But what I'm saying is this. There's some people that don't need it. Yeah, right? Some people's... Ah, 18, two minutes, if you say so. All right, let's get a couple more of these in. He makes you feel good about yourself.

You feel beautiful around him. In fact, he's your biggest hype man. He's always talking you up and letting you know how attractive and wonderful he finds you. This is a big old red flag for me. We know, we listen to the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But if Christine made me feel better about myself,

I would probably do that more. Jay has a mirror. Yeah. I know, Christine surrounds me with them. She knows I hate them. She always watch me scream. I'm a green flag on that I am a big supporter of dawn. I always let her know how pretty and beautifully I find her I do I

Only talk about is her dead pussy I love her little fucking Filipino shovel ass right? That's my thing right? I love that sure it is. I love that about her I'm not arguing with you green flag for you, okay, green. I give it to you great red for me Me and Christine do not make each other feel good about ourselves. Okay, so red on you green on me. Yeah, last one 19 No, let's do two more. Okay good 19. reads, bonus points if some of those books were by women. Nope. Bingo red.

Big red. If that's agreeing on you, you're gay. 20. He respects your boundaries. He also has his own boundaries too. I have minimal boundaries and I do not respect Christine's boundaries. I'm with you. That's a big red.

Um... I was jumping... I can jump through these quick. 21, he doesn't talk shit about his exes. Yes I do. I don't know... Non-stop. I don't know my exes.

I think some of them are dead. He's able to laugh at himself. Number 22. Is this the way Bobby would be green? I don't know. I don't... Talking about my exes has been so long. It's been 30 years. Okay, let's stop at 21

We'll go through us these tomorrow. All right, okay. I'm gonna keep the tallies going. Okay. Yeah Yeah, I don't even I don't even know an ex Jacob. Do you have the real tally cuz Christine's throwing in there? Yeah, I just wanna make sure you're doing a tally. Why are you doing it? Oh because no one trusts your answers. I mean that no you were doing another red flag He's cross checking you because you don't understand thing I'm not gonna build you up now until you know how to do things without Jacob Let's see if we match But we don't we probably don't because you keep doing what with some confusion

Well, well we're gonna pick this back up tomorrow everybody make sure you check out Robert Kelly punch up dot live Slash Robert Kelly. Yep punch up dot live slash big jay okerson go to our YouTube pages Robert Kelly. Yep. Punchup.live slash Big J. Okerson. Go to our YouTube pages. Robert Kelly Comedy, Big J. Okerson. And buy tickets for our shows, everyone. I'm in Miami this weekend with Fennoy and Butterly. Bobby's got the Comedy Club of Kansas City coming up the 23rd through the 25th. And our friend Ari, let's not forget, Ari Shaffir's brand new special, America's Sweetheart,

streaming today, right now. On what? On Netflix. Netflix. Netflix. Ari's a genius, he's fucking hilarious. What did I say? A genius? That didn't mean that. Yep, he's not a genius. Ari's fucking hilarious.

So go watch America's Sweetheart now. Fucking loser. Streaming right now on Netflix everybody. It's absolutely hilarious. We'll catch you guys tomorrow. Manana. Crackle, crackle.