The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Red Hot Poetry (feat. Mike Vecchione & Andy Fiori)

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

Andy Fiori and Mike Vecchione join The Bonfire! The guys talk about Jussie Smollet's return to the red carpet at the 2022 BET Awards. Andy Fiori tells the gang he cheated in school by passing off Red Hot Chili Pepper Lyrics as his on poetry.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@ComicMikeV www.MikeVecchione.com@AndyFiori www.AndyFiori.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. There goes the neighborhood. Black guy's playing rock guitar. I never thought it'd see the day. I've always been to the Tenders. What is that like? I wanna do it again. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Unrelated. The truth. I had a watermelon white claw today. How was it? You had a white claw today? A couple shots of white claw. Where were you doing? Skanks. The rose it was on.

I had booze bag. Good job, boom. Boom. Talking about doing a two verse two podcast now with Ari. Who thought Ari would be on the side of its drunk hunks versus dad dads? Me and Lewis versus Ari and Joe. But who would have thought Ari would eventually become the, now he's drunk on keys.

Ari's a fear of synonymous with weed, not even more. Wendy. Ari'll stop on a pass around for weed and stuff. If you go, he'll tell the boss. He knows it was. He was all that jungle juice he was drinking when he went to Central America. It's probably what it was.

I think it was all those. Pollucinogenic water. Yeah, he had something with like the alcohol content that was like 200% toast. But then now he's just a booze bag. You know what sucks is drinking is really having a renaissance in a way that it hasn't in a while. Yeah.

And I just, where do you mean? You just feel, I'm like looking at everyone having fun boozing. Yeah. How many friends do you have close to their boozers? Not a ton. Close, close friends, like five, five, like five or six. That booze.

That go for the ones that are counting me. No. Yeah, because I'm a boozer. Not at all. You're a dab dad. Yeah, dab dad much more than a boozer. Yeah. But I'll drink, but I also don't drink and get drunk.

Here's the best way I can, and walking in studio our first guest of well this is the bonfire on Sirius XM. In fact, talk one of three. They don't need that. They don't care about that. I'm dance odor. That's big joke. They definitely don't care about that. We got Black our Black King, the Black Tiger Lewis Johnson on vacation. But our studio we do have Jacob Todd. Black vacation. Is it a black vacation? No, it's just regular vacation. Where is it? Myrtle Beach. That's pretty black. St. Thomas. That's pretty black too. That is pretty, but oh man. St. Thomas. He went with a wife, right? The whole family.

Oh, she on a, is she on a Stella got a group? She's gonna get a group back for sure. She's gonna find a tall, tall island brother. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.

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I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. My former husband Mike Vecchio and my common law the two five five five boys were back baby the two five two five five boys He's going around giving his Italian blessings. Oh, yeah. How you doing? How do you mother? I just had to burn a prayer card in my hand

Say how do you mom? Yeah, I almost got into a confrontation with Andy Fiori over a seat I know I saw that I don't know if we had assigned seats Can I start off let you in? You bolder, really tried to... It was like two dogs' small and butt. I'm gonna go here, Andy, and you'll slide over. These problems never happened in a story. You guys moved to Manhattan, you got all boozy. You guys became socialites.

Sorry that we rub elbows with the elite. Damn, you guys, maybe if you guys came to our cocktail parties, you would have known about Roe v Wade back in February when we knew it was flippant. I bet this is what you miss. This is what you miss. Conversation is about eating clean. Oh my god. No, you know what I miss the most is because we're both comics.

Company? His company. Just the soothing, grace of his company. But and the clean eating. You guys, I guess, you already missed the most. Mike always had the best bath washes. I just just I smelled that everything else I could do with it smelled like a million bucks all the

time can I say it's great to come in and see friends and also it helps that my numbers aren't good in Chicago so yeah so Chicago is a good friends and up those 90s get my fuck yeah dude um but that's that's what I miss is as comics having the meltdowns, like you're there for each other's meltdowns. So you're like, you just see, you know, you like show someone like a deadline article release and you go, look at that.

What is that? Can you believe this? What is that? And then you just spiral for a little bit. You can't even get them to look at me. Because now I do it. Now we both live with our girlfriends. And I'm pretty sure you get the same thing

where you're like, we're trying to do that. We go, can you believe that? And she's just like, why is that a the same thing where you're like we're trying to do that we go can you believe that and she's just like why is that a big deal? Because you don't talk me for three months and he's got out of kicks That's the thing that Becky on it. I did for 10 years. You just walk and you go fucking yeah This girl into comics so yeah, Katie gets it my Katie's like Yeah, I do what and then she says things to you. It's so funny that Dan's got to like Suttily hate like ESPN people because they were nasty to her is the funniest thing. Oh, I got a list Dude, I know, but it's people you just watch. She's like man, you see so-and-so's hot take yeah guys a dick head

You said my girlfriend didn't know enough about baseball. Yeah fuck that dude I'm like dude Brady Quinn fuck him dude. Yeah, suck my dick Mike real bomb. Yeah, well I rules don't you say shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, love it till he tries to look through a people your girls ass She goes he had his hand up my scar like I fucking kill him Yeah, I'm right in my any option. I'll fucking kill like milk will will bar it doesn't the deep Mike will bar made me suck them off the first day I got the S.B. And he said that's he said that's the welcome party. That's how you get in the Bristol I did it part of me thinks I loved it Mail bye goes get down on my mail bag. Yeah, I'll be

Well, it didn't happen and that's fucking gross you guys would say that Well, you know your girlfriends go through so she hasn't told you if it happened yet. No, I know all the dirt Dude, I know who to I really I got a list. Yeah, yeah Christine was molested by Gabe and Donnie the two Jewish owners of the standard of standup New York Yeah, they're like let me cut your bosoms. He goes now. They're gonna argue it wasn't molesting because Christine was the aggressor But I like to look at as they molested her. Christine through her teeth went, put my pussy in your hand. She goes, hey, if I become the manager super quick, if I like, I don't know, finish you both off.

Yeah. Yeah. I would fuck all of that. Do you have what? Do you ever have what? You guys went vicious quick. No. Is this how you guys get into it?

That's a, you know, you gotta keep pace. Shout out to the can. While me and Andy Fiori almost murdered a legendary adult film star last night Lisa and what you guys do you guys were just doing blow? What are you hitting her in the head and then she fell? I told you imagine a real I feel orgasm scenario. I could really tell you haven't seen the episode Reference is lost the em out cuz I read the boys the comic book fury coming in here with that weak shit Man, I'm not you're talking about vibes when You're gonna talk about bullshits. And have vibes.

When you nerds are done this, whatever this is, this comic book argument. Listen, he went after Vecchio and Vecchio challenging for his seat. I'm still Vecchio. I still have to let Mike in and buy. And then you know where we were seating. I was in real.

And Kip's Bay. Collegiate wrestler after my guys are dirt bags who live in burrows. Probably. You guys are over here trying to murder alleged area of the post. You nearly to a wrestling stance and I got scared we uh yeah we took her down She uh first of all no Lisa and Lisa and it's true not we Lisa and

50 years old so sweet. Yeah 50 years old dude. She looks on unbelievable. Yeah, right amazing unbelievable 50 yeah, I mean I listen. Yeah, amazing. Unbelievable. 50. Yeah. I mean, listen, yeah. I'm sure there's something that, you know, and she'll tell you, it's like, you know, a lot of makeup, a lot of, what I'm up in that photo. Yeah, I'm saying, but she looks like by Andy Fiori. You see him, you see him lighting up all the lights now?

I love how much Instagram tells on your friends. We didn't really follow each other and then, yeah. I bet you did. she was out of her head She wasn't thinking straight damn you got her all fucking no, so she came in she came in She already had some drinks at dinner and she ate meat big thing for her apparently As at a guest digital Yes, yeah last night So she came in we were bullshit and I was smoking a joint, she took some of the joint,

and then we we have dabs there and no, yeah. And she said, no, Jay, no, Jay Byron was given as dabs always. And Byron didn't do anything either. She was like, no, no, I'm not going to do that. And then started making a video for a friend of her. She was gonna set her assistant or something and she was just like, oh, hey, we're hanging here because you love when I smoke weed. So that's why I'm saying this for you. And then she just does adapt. Dude, when you're becky on, we gotta explain to becky on like the ATF agent that he was like.

I don't really know what they are. Yeah, what's the dad? They were using, hold on, is that the scene? There was a blowtorch being used casually as a former? As a former? As a former knifeer. Guy, knifeers are the most primitive version.

It's great. Where you just heat up. Love it though. I mean, dude, it gets you fucking, the first time I did a knifeer, I've been smoking weed since I was, consistently smoking weed since I was 15. First time I did a knifeer, I was 19

and I was like, this is too much. And I thought I had already smoked too much weed. Dabs are the only thing that I've ever done where it's gone past a knife fair and they basically take a blow torch and heat up this, I mean, it's shatter, what is it? It's like compressed weed. Yeah, what is it?

It's like almost like a gel. It's in a whack. Yeah, it's like a, and then they burn it, they burn it with a torch and then it's fucking science. It's crazy. It's Intense kind of like drugs and welding. Yes It's a lot like those two things together Yeah, it brings flash dance and it brings the fun of hard work on this kids I don't relaxation of marijuana, but it does it may as thing it gets you really high now see. It may as thing, it gets you really high.

Now see how it looks like sap. Yeah. It gets you pretty high. Pretty high. Very high. It's great. It gets you higher than gummies and all that stuff. Yeah, I mean, no, no.

Well, it depends on who you are. Would you say that it's a jade took a dab recently on skanks and passed out. Yeah, passed out. I was trying to, no, here's the exact, I've watched this so many times, I don't see people keep putting it on. And I will say, I see exactly what happens. I took the dab, so I inhale it big and I blow out big.

And I start like kind of coughing a little bit. And then on my next breath, here we go. My next, I'm scared, it's scurging. My second breath, my second breath in is me taking another dab hit and then trying not to cough out See look I didn't breathe out yet. Oh, I just suck another one in and I'm trying to hold in coughs And then I just fucking yeah Dave Smith couldn't care lights when I first second

Dave's doing something looks like a fucking mafia like a guy that's gonna testify My handshaking scary my handshaking scary for sure Jay's out right there, but I'm fine. There he is. Lewis's look of concern is well ever since then there is a demon from a parallel universe that I can see. Jay goes, I haven't able to have sleep at all because there's a creature that lives in the corner of my room that Christine swears is not there. She says is not there, but he's telling me that she will not see him. He's assured me of this.

He's were dreaded. So, so Lisa and is taking a video of herself and does a dab. Right, and then, and then she named it. First she did it. Then she named it. She survived.

She survived. Do you remember Tommy Boy when he's doing that speech to his all his friends and then he just kind of, had to do that. She did that kind of to his all his friends and then he just kind of yeah She did that kind of she just went and then it was over and then we went No, it wasn't over yet. No, no, no, she's a dad. She was fine. And then I go it was this on the show Is this on the podcast outside? I'll back after the podcast or before before and we go so I go all right We got to start this thing up. So me and Andy go inside I assume followed

by the two girls, Chanel, O'Mari, comedian, and one of the stars of Bravo's princesses of Long Island. And Lisa, I assume we're right behind it. And me and Andy, sitting around, you know, obviously two comedian friends, dicking around, talking for five, six minutes before we realize no one else is coming to the room. And the show's not started yet.

And Shannon comes in and she goes hey guys Hold on Shannon came in with like I said last night telling us about 9 11. Yeah One of the towers fell she goes on over and do how do you want to do it? What do you want to do with the show? Everything's changed. What do you mean? She goes well at least I said she was feeling like pretty high from that dev so I came in to get her water And when I went outside she's out. She's unconscious and there was like I think she threw up on her so I don't actually throw up or she's spill water. I thought she splashed water in her face to like try and perk herself.

It was though. I T-shirt sleep. I think it was a water. I don't think she splashed water. I think she just spilled water. She was out of it. And he's like I've always wanted to sleep being sleeping beauty with Lisa I said if some there was a movie being filmed in the bar upstairs and there was people out back working for the movie I'm like if you're just some young grip who recognize her and you go by at one point by herself laying down Like you know like the couch cushion. Yeah, I was like did and when here's the funny when she came to and came back on and she came to the show She did the show. Yeah, I just kept pushing though's the funny, when she came to and came back on the show, and she came to do the show. She did the show.

Yeah, I just kept pushing. No, she was laying on the bench outside of the wood. Yeah, she did it so high. Homegirl was out. It was very good. That's how high you are when you're just like, you know when you're like, brain? Did you want to go on the couch?

I go, do you want to go on the couch? She goes, and go pass it in. She was, this is great. And then, but when she came back on the show, and was, I'll tell you about, her first wording was that Byron had made her do this is what my But yeah, she got fucking Yeah, I get a saying impressive turnaround

Now it's just telling me you pop out of you pop out of it. I don't know. I took a I'm gonna cook she's done cook off dicks Mike bet bet would be black Dix You know much coke that is so much coke we call that a Colombian knuckle That's a lot of coke To a whole dick you can even if you stop before the head just shaft alone You're doing eight nine inches of coke and hold on to your triple beam. I'll tell you exactly what it is It's 1.75 grams So we They call it doing a yodel. I was in Providence, the comedy connection. We all love it.

This guy, this is like maybe year one of the bonfire and he was like, dude, I love the bonfire. I work in an adult bookstore that's also like a head shop. Yeah, nice. Come by. Oh wait, you mean head like wheat stuff. Yeah, not like blowjob. Uh, it wasn't a blow. It wasn't. You're welcome to the head shop. That's what I say before my swinger parties.

Whoa. Everyone welcome to the head shop. Oh, sorry, did my very short robe come on down? I'm saying. Welcome, you're going to get welcome to sucks in fucksville. That was the original time. Well, hello, ladies and gentlemen. So this guy was like come out and I'll give you a pipe

or like a bubbler or something. It's like outside of Providence. I was like, that's awesome. And there was all these adult DVDs. You know, DVDs are still around it. I was like, oh cool, he's like, grab a DVD. I'll give you a deal on a pipe. He was like, you're like, you're like,

shh, what's this? I'll just grab whatever here. There's a fat clunkers for, whatever. First of all, I just grabbed first of all, I see you. Or you fanboy out, I go, you got, splat on my rack three. Shut up, dude, I don't know how I saw that in Japan. Oh my God.

They don't have this back home. Oh my God, this is the way. I don't know if my DVD player is the right zoning for this. I don't know if it's the right zoning for this. I remember DVD zoning. Do you remember that? You can order DVDs, stuff you couldn't get in America maybe. You could order online but then you have to get a zone 3 DVD player.

You just won't play it. It's from a different country. You have to get a different DVD player. It's insane. Yeah. That is fucking crazy. So I walk into this guy's place and he's like, oh, I got dabs going on in the back. You want to do a dab?

And I was like, yeah, the show's not till eight. Whatever. I remember your mother used to like dabs. When she'd come to my parties. What's that? Would you say Henry? Please, Hank. So I took one.

When parents call me Henry. And I got that fucking high. And I went and sat in the rental car. And I was like, I can't drive. And it was like a good, maybe hour, I was just sat in the car because I was that high to the point that he walked outside and I was parked in the front

and he just looked at me like, the fuck you still doing here? I had to roll down the window, be like, that dab got me too high. Yeah, I got my cop. Christine's people are posting. Christine's gotta do a fucking bon grip grip just open our eyes in the morning Trill

Independence Damily, that's a very she makes up she goes to sad thoughts thoughts in life get them out No, I just let's go walk a dog No, it's usually after I go to the gym and walk the dog. Yeah, the gym. Yeah, there we go Can we have a gym store here? All right, what was your last max, dude? This is your man. You're doing super sets. You're doing super sets?

What are you doing? You drop satin, dude? I bet your gains are out of this world, dude. Dude, Vecchion would make me, there would be nothing worse to compare like my Sunday when I'm just like, I'm gonna have pizza and all this shit. And then he's like, you know what? I'm gonna have chicken with the skin on. And're like I'm you know someone's a naughty boy

Like did you did you carp shame Daniel? Yes, uh at times, but then And this is my lifestyle. Please don't judge as I'm dumping Reese's pieces into a talenty. He says looking good though Yeah, he does Stay's raining gash on the pants and some sudden a bitch him, all right? I have one gash that rains permanently. Yeah, but when it rains it pours away. Yeah, right, right.

You don't talk about that late. Oh, what? What? He's like, oh, dude, knuckles, right? She gets so, so, right, what? Huh? Yeah, the Vecchio and we'd have pizza on Sundays. And when you get to see Vecchio

and eat like a normal person, he's like, he gets amped. I get twitchy. He's like, dude, we order have pizza on Sundays, and when you get to see Becky and eat like a normal person, she's like, he gets amped. I get twitchy. He's like, dude, we order the pizza now. Yeah, it's 3.30, we're gonna have it for dinner tonight. I'm excited. I'll just treat, too. Yeah.

Hey, guys, nuts. Can I open one present on Christmas Eve? Exactly, that's exactly what it is. He's like, oh, you know what, I'm gonna have two slices now, and then I'll probably have two slices before. Yeah, when it goes to bed. Pizza planning. Meanwhile, I'm drinking have two slices now and then I'll probably have two slices before Yeah, when it goes to bed pizza planning me while I'm drinking a two liter of Pepsi and I'm like yeah It's whatever and then we had ice cream afterwards. Oh Well you had ice cream Dan was crunkling up fucking other candies into his ice cream

Yeah, I'm an innovator Jay because I would over Get over dude. I wouldn't I Wouldn't ever look at a or again if I was hand Putting like scooping candy into flavor ice cream You give me vanilla ice cream And they go and something proposed the idea go I'll do a little of that if you do it pieces but Bend this some double chocolate chunk. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I was already a thing

Double chocolate chunk doesn't need anything other than toppings. You don't need to put Reese's pieces into it. Yeah, you don't need to, but you can. That's what our soldiers were fighting for over the season. So it's cool, Jay's against the troops, guys. We learn that Jay's big brother against Clippers. It's also, aren't you? Freedom isn't free, Jay. Yeah, Jay, sorry Jay.

There's people over there paying the ultimate price. And then I'm over here living the ultimate dream. We worked real hard to get diabetes every Sunday. Yeah, I didn't get it. I think I did it now though. Even talking to Nate, you know, because Nate's like, he's like, I got a quick candy. And that's the age we're at now.

His Nate's in candy because he loves fast food. I'd watch candy loves fast food. You're on the road, right? Yeah, now he goes to subway. That's his compromise. Someone's on way, someone's on way. it's fresh. It's got lettuce in it. Dude, what was it Lucy from Nashville was telling his story as to cover your Tomat Nate about how much you know he's got the joke and when she loves

condiments more than any food. And she goes Nate took us all a bunch of people out to like the nicest steakhouse in thing and and and they ask them to bring ketchup for a steak and like do that rules. You know it's better about that rules my favorite thing that is Nate's Nate Nate loves ketchup. Yeah, hates tomatoes. I don't know the same way. What I don't want to eat it tomato slice. You don't want to see it's mom. It's too real. It's like keeping the head on a fish. I can't see it in the aerosol. Love ketchup. Oh yeah, you know what I'm saying.

It's tomato ice cream. Oh yeah, right. FI-O-R. FI-O-R. I forgot what it was like to be around Vecchio and his pro tomato stances. What's next, you can attack. Jesus.

Next, the love of a mother. A fontina cheese. come at me, bro You know I bought a pressure cooker a week ago to make you to simply nail bombs I'm sick of Ralph. I'm sick of Ralph's jogging and I'm gonna bomb his Dude I go hey Jay you left a book in the studio and I'm The inner kiss couple You left a book in the studio and I'm not the anarchist cookbook. Is it something you should be joking around about?

Why do you have so many pages bent? Don't open that door. Christine goes, Jay, you can't cook nails. Yeah. It's in the pressure cooker. What is this? Magnets and wires? Glass and nails.

Who cooks there? I'm not eating this stew I love snacks but not this kind No, I got it simply to make the And I went and watched again by the way I did watch again our Marvel channel wedding I want to make that wedding soup because it was so good It's very good. It's so and you watch us make it dude he He actually do a couple times does this to us we say a thing that's funny he goes Okay He actually do a couple times does this to us. We say a thing. It's funny. He goes okay

He Love that god He's got one to get he did not want to deal with two comics making jokes, but what here we go What 100% when he left when we left he did this he was washing his hands off anyway He goes, I don't pay me enough To his fate. He doesn't laugh at one thing we say. Oh, yeah, I don't like his energy. Do his fate, he doesn't laugh at one thing we say. Oh, yeah, I don't like his energy. I don't like his, turn it hard to get energy. Got each other behind his, their backs,

and then laughing at family members. We're a lot like this onion. Together, boring. You cut it, and it'll make you cry. The bonfire. I thought you were gonna say that it has lots of layers, but I'm sure. Wait, what is an Italian wedding suit?

It's a suit with meat. Yes! Well, I got that. I thought it was just dog toys. Such a true entrepreneur. He keeps your suit like this. That's our pay for being here. Yeah, first time ever, my rider has been filmed.

Here you go. What do you want? I'll tell you what I want. I'll go on. No, he's laughing at the camera people. Let's start this suit by making a stop. You're right. You're absolutely right.

And see till he changed his face. I looked at it, he goes, guys, like I have to move forward. Yeah, I like that. I like that. I like that I keep you guys on track. I like to have fun just as much as the next guy, but we gotta get this in.

By the way, when we try the soup, we're so blown away by how good it is, because we're like, what if we don't like that? We didn't even know we were making something. You guys know what you've had wedding soup before, right? Don't like it generally, but this was unbelievable. So you got a pressure cooker to make it yeah, yeah, I'm crock putt all so here was this 19 No, no middle of pandemic man. No mask. We didn't give a shit to we look by the seat of our pants It's normal dot com's a very the super here. So we can go dude

So you look very clean fresh. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's before you got to look different. I know So you look very clean fresh. Mm-hmm. No, it's before the day. You guys look different, I know. That's before Jay brought me into the beard lifestyle. What do you say? It looks like we're there. I didn't know it was a cooking part to the show.

What is that for? Neither of the way they asked us to do this and then the guy didn't enjoy our company. Yeah. You can see by the way, it's moving forward now. You can see me and Dan are a little defeated at this point too. We're just like, all right, let's get it over for him.

Yeah. Let's just get through it. So did you try to make it yet? I think they asked us to chill at 1.2 a little bit. Oh, really? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, they weren't fans. Did they pull you aside?

Did we get a side? No, no, I think it was just like a simple thing. I think it's like, guys, we actually got to move forward. You guys, we kind of got to like move forward. Hey, guys, we're making wedding soup, not loud asshole soup. So if you guys could shut the fuck up and move it along. You guys are kind of ruining the marriage right now now this isn't one of your comedy skits I want to Frank Castle the both of you yeah he really

His dork did not enjoy our company at all But he makes a nice soup. Huh? Can we put a positive? God can cook For sure because we ate the fucking soup. We made fantastic and until you look great We did things in it where it was like he's literally like Throw the whole onion in there goes even like the funky part that was on the floor of the grocery store. He's like, yep Throw all of it and then you strain it Hmm, and then the meatballs go ball. Cool. Well, they were good. He fried him first

Fried him in olive oil and then put him into the soup right in the soup. They were unbelievable They put them in olive oil and then put them into the soup. You put them right into the soup, they were unbelievable. Dan, remember how good they were? It was very good. How good could they be, Mike? Oh my God. What are you two, you two pizons getting in the right way.

You look good wedding soup, Mike, right? I love it. Love it. Did your mom make like a great one of your dad? Great one. Yeah. Great one growing up and then I met a friend from Jersey in college whose Italian didn't know what wedding soup was.

I didn't even know what it was to be made the thing. I mean, Colorado. What is this supposed to mean? You guys. Well, you come from like your landlock garbage. Who don't understand cultures? When you got a rhyme and can out, you got a mountain runoff is not super.

Yeah. Your buffalo, your buffalo, bison garbage. Fuck all you guys. There's very graceful animals and they provide. Are they graceful? Watch Dan clunk his fucking recipes in You know they don't even show him put it in because put a little clove in here and dang goes close And just watch it look at that. Look how I'm meeting that. Oh, that's a man. He does get his hands in this

I was wearing gloves and fairness He also does like this Dan makes a big meatball. He doesn't like it It's a little smaller and then Dan's like oh how about this one? He's like Yeah, that's a big Colorado get fucking big dude. Wow. He just wants to move he just wants to move on Call Roderock. He's it not the baseball team fuck them. Oh, did he sit as a little gag? You put his hand he did like the hand hit the ground

Oh And then we just make fun of him behind his back I'm on little mozzarella in the meball. Yeah. Alright, guys, what do I do next wet lips? I'm out of kiss. He's got Dan Adamin lips. So fucking Ella Cogey, dude, he keeps him sings licked up. You think I'm meant to hurt you? No, next thing you're going to do is throw that little bit of that clothing them deal You guys like deal, but yeah, I got a pressure cooker for that. Yeah, I'm gonna make it happen It seems like a really complicated things to make not at all me and Dan made it complicated

Yeah, it was so few ingredients and then we eat marrow remember this. Oh, yeah, it was good It was like station. I don't know. He told us to do it. What kind of possible. He goes up what? Watch me get these two Oath's the bone marrow. Yes, they're giving both cancer. Yeah, no, I did it. Have you eaten marrow? Jacob? I see something you've probably eaten before. You love it, right? Jacob. I mean, yeah, it's good. Rich sucks it right from the bone. Ask at all. nothing like fresh killed Like he put a little fucking little schmutz on that little tiny schmutz. It's got all it's so good

That's freaking yeah, Fury can you cook? I've made big CD last night big CD. Yeah, it's not cooking dude That's fucking what you mean? That's fucking swingers party buffet Well, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.ers party buffet. Well, I'm a Jewish Jewish singer's party. There's big ZD. Big ZD is also Cub Scouts potlock. I'm telling you. It's your mom doesn't care. I'm nothing she taught you to make big ZD. No, I make the I make the Italian basics though. I can't go crazy. Yeah, I can't make soups. Nothing like that. You make your own stuff. Shels, stuff shells. You're make your own stuff shelves stuff shelves. You're make your own Never from scratch like that where you get to design your own filling Bitch a build your own filling. I'll make you guys in big Z you'll love my fucking. I use Italian ground beef a turkey ground beef with a time Seasoning it's a regular ground. It's just big dude. I know what I'm saying for me. You would love it. Yeah, well

I'm gonna take your word for because you did say that you wouldn't even have tried lose fucking lose stew I don't know that shit was to ask Mike if you would lose tuna stew I can tell you right now warm. I'll speak for Vecchio on this. There's no way he tries exactly I know he tries that to casserole Loose cast you would try it. No, you wouldn't to casserole. It sounds like it. Loose casserole? You want to try it? No, he wouldn't. He's a tuna stew. Cream mushroom soup.

I'm out right there. Chells. Yeah. Tuna fish. Peace. Oh, I'm sorry. A regga know. Okay.

Lots of regga know. A heaping helping of a regga know. Did you say the glob already? Uh, did you say what the glob was? The glob was cream mushroom soup. A lot of cream mushroom soup. Did you say American scraps? Oh, the craft singles lot of cremation You say American to craft oh single melted on top I forgot about the ice layer

Alkaita he brought it in he brought it in and I've asked him about this off air Genuinely thinking we were all gonna be like surprise. It is fucking great. He couldn't believe that we were like I think I'm sick You guys can't understand castles you never made a cast or all so it is stay the fuck out of my castle everyone's had hamburger helper you've never made it it's your palettes not Lou off air jade you start the conversation look you pull off just what kind of fucking slop did you bring I mean polo's doesn't take to make it dude a gas. And Dan liked that you locked it.

I did like it. He didn't like it. Dan's not, this is where he's not confident. Dan, he triaged on everything. By the way, I told you, give me a can a can of the dry ginger ale. You said you didn't feel good afterwards. I didn't feel good afterwards. But I enjoyed it when I ate it.

But your body was rejecting it. Dude, I got back home and was like, I don't know. That noise and I was like, oh no. That's how it's supposed to go. But your body was rejecting it. Dude, I got back home and was like, I don't really need to go. That noise and I was like, oh no. That's how it's supposed to go. Oh, by the way. I had less cream with mushroom soup when I had eaten a bowl of cream with mushroom soup.

No. Myrtle wouldn't leave me alone to keep smelling that. Oh, okay. Cream a dance. Just like how dogs can smell diseases. Yeah. There's something wrong with you and stuff.

I said down to she was like, you okay? I was like bro, so you know, buddy What your casserole didn't look like the one on the picture? Christine has up there. It didn't it was gray It was the color of Roger from fucking American dad That's from the tuna and the glob. Tuna is not gray Yeah, it is my then we found out that he bought all the ingredients at a gas station

What? Peas don't go bad. What do you think canned peas go bad? Whatever, you high-falutin' Manhattan dish bags. You try to get these guys in your team. You gotta be a queen's guy like Lou now. Ah. I mean, I make macaroni and cheese. That's basically a casserole,

some sort just with less ingredients. Sometimes less is more though. You know what I mean, I make macaroni and cheese. That's basically a casserole. Some sort just with less ingredients. Sometimes less is more though. You know, I mean, I've tend to leave the oregano out of my mac and cheese. Oh, hey, now that I got Mike here, I got kind of shamed last time I was on here because my pronunciation of brusquetta. Oh, I take it back. Okay. Thank you. I take it completely back. You're I'm wrong and you're completely right. So someone's really corrected that someone corrected me He is brusqueta. Oh my god shit. I know I know I don't know I know I know this is shadow you fucking call yourself an Italian who is this fraud? I want to know five years of Tony and Tina's wedding. What do I know a half a decade? Did you ever see nudity backstage?

Peter people don't get shit No, not backstage, but we all kind of slept with each other there. No, you see. Did you ever get to sleep with Tony? I assume you laid out Tina. But did Tony give you a piece of the pie? Did you go for the fucking half of the round robin? It was the 90s, things were different.

Hey, Jay, look at me. I was Tony. Oh, Christine, go ahead and play. And I was also dominant. Let's get an official. Grews getta. Grews getta. Yeah, there you go. Wow, I don't care and I was also dominant. Let's get him official Rusqueta Mm-hmm. Rusqueta. Yeah, wow. I don't care if it hurt. Yeah, dialect. She was greeting with her Sketa. Oh, you just sounded real bitchy. Yeah, you know like when girls talk in general

I get you pipe down fucking Google. Yeah, you heard me. You heard fiori. Yeah, he don't think women should vote Hey Siri make me a fucking sandwich We finally got enough people in the Supreme Court to overturn that dumb law I slate that good no We send that to all of the andies Congratulations Now you gotta go back to fucking each other everywhere Christ almighty.

Christ almighty. Let's go to traffic. I'm not going to go on. He's going to try to go on. He's never going to go on. He's going to go on. I do it every time I go on. Let's go to traffic on the ones.

If you see on this, the jussie's small, it makes his holly, he did a red carpet. I thought he's hated across the board. It's a guy that lied about getting Joe. Making a comeback. That's got to be one of the weirdest things. But he never admitted he did it. He keeps saying it was real. Did he go to jail? No, he went to court and like, he suspended sentence or something. Going on a red carpet, knowing that,

and then just knowing everyone's taking pictures, you'd be like, what the fuck is he doing here? And you're like, hey, it's like, they're not kicking me in. Right. He's like They're not kicking me right It's like I they're letting me go this is crazy. Everyone's like what the fuck is he doing here?

She's like it didn't happen. Hey He did a castanza. Yeah Remember me from the show Empire nothing else ever Because remember when I was in mighty ducks an empire and then now isn't mighty ducks What he do is he beat himself up for being gay and then say guys jump them. Yes, yeah, yeah The BET awards. Well, that's a balsy place to show up although the BET words ain't what they are if you remember last year's BET Awards I that's when I found her But that was also the one where I told you when What's this face comes out

Little Nas X and really like just slaps his cock on the floor with a bunch of other gay guys for minutes And then just when they go to the the watch out of the audience and you see a method man and and little Wayne trying to be like It's cool Okay, so the BET awards are a god they're mess. This is weird though to do that, to do like such a public thing and then just show up on the red carpet like. Yay.

Didn't do it. What? Hey, didn't do it. Hey, didn't do it. Take my picture. I'm really excited. I'm really excited. There he is in our hallway.

I'm excited to see Megan V. Stallion. Take my picture. This is it. No more I'll tell you what that slap at the Oscars was the most exciting awards things since the source awards man They don't have a word shows like that anymore where it goes to hell Where everyone does either speeches like oh, I want to thank the choreographers and the creative People all involved in putting this vision together for this video and also see me in the parking lot motherfucker. See me in the parking lot and talk that shit

Pete Ditty. Alright y'all, thank you. Also, uh, Len Gershowitz, my agent, I like to thank a lot of people involved in this one, my engineer Bob Rock, sitting home. Alright right kids go to bed now. Oh, fuck up. I brought my shit. You bring your shit Okay, thank you all god bless That was the best remember I was giving the award it goes. Thank you for the award. Hey that motherfucker was up here talking shit before Yeah, fuck him Being all up in the videos Yes, the infamous chug night. Yeah, I should know it's good. It's the best. I bet it'd be funny to watch like a word shows try to have those moments now for ratings They're like oh, what you hear what happened during the daytime Emmys?

Someone from general hospital for a chair Has there been a major award show since the Oscars that has tried to spoof What happened with rock and yeah Nate wore a helmet at the Grammys. Oh, yeah, that's a great. Mm-hmm. That's really funny Been funny if you had a gun Do some see me these pulls a shirt up with your ball day. Yes, why? Motherfucker. I'm gonna make jokes about the whole front row. And they ain't nobody gonna do no than that. Open carry here, Tasty.

I'm red state name. It's my two-ay rat. What was the award show with the extended vagina shot that we watched? Oh, that was. Guru. Grammys. I wanna say.

What if he did he host the Grammys? A VN? No, he'll be the end. The billboard. Was the billboard? Allotation. You guys almost put a slide on the Grammys I want to say what if he did he host the Gram maybe and no You guys almost put a slide on that in memoriam yesterday Yeah, he bought the billboard awards and one of those twerculator city girls snatch was out for like five minutes What Avn in memoriam for You guys almost put a slide on that in memoriam at the AVN so yeah for sure That would have been that would have been a real clap you got your own individual clap

For sure, they would have done a cheer bigger for certain people Yeah, you got last you would have done a ten load salute. Wow just three of the biggest dicks Scirts up or panties to the side Full-fugging lip and click The hoder both out for those you heard that I hope you enjoyed it lap dude As these layers we were all talking at once or no one's talking staring at position I just tried so hard to get a 10-cocks salute joke out and then I everyone trampled all over it But the two people that heard it in real time. Thank you. Oh, someone crashed their car Yeah, we can go back to lose tennis, too. Dude live TV live TV pussy huge. Yeah, it mostly happens in Spanish places

Because those girls come out with there's no rules over there and like over here. Things as they would never happen here Yeah, like a super hot Things they would never happen here like a super hot Tiny short skirt like TV morning host like the Regis over there like picks her up and throws over a shoulder on her And she's like oh pussy out and he's like This kids come out and it's like fucking it's a shit show. Yeah, it's a wild wild time Like tell a mundo and like yeah, if you look up pussy slips on TV. It's a wild wild time. Tell themundo and like, yeah, yeah. If you look up pussy slips on TV, it's mostly Spanish shit. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of basic instinct moves, but mostly it's them just doing like dumb. The guy, you know, the host of the show, he'll pick a girl like a baby and her snatches between her butt cheeks. Good morning, stop the man. He's like, shut up stupid bitch. You have the right here.

Yeah, I love that. When does Diaz? Yeah. Fucking rules, dude. It rules. Did he say anything on the red carpet? Jossi swallot? I didn't see.

I said free Ron Jeremy. Free Ron Jeremy. Yeah. He just shouts out another guy. Dude, haven't Ron Jeremy. The way he looked the last time he showed him to do with that gray hair. He's in holding still.

He doesn't look, he looks cursed. He's gonna get, he's up for like 230 years. Yeah, yeah. He's gonna get it he's sentenced looks cursed. He's gonna get he's up for like 230 years Yeah, he's gonna get it worse than fucking R.K. Oh, yeah, and Galene max well. This isn't talking. Yeah Which all in left Here's a directoral debut It's about a boy who gets attacked for being gay. It's crazy It happens in Chicago by a subway. He should do it as a musical. I think it'll really sound.

I don't know these guys. Yes, you do. I don't know. It was you. Why did you sell this man? You say you're afraid of money. He bit me with a pipe for loving the pipe. Hands, hands, hands, feet. He's doing the choreography. Hands, hands, hands, more feet. He's had you get through it just, he goes,

uh, social crack smoking. I wonder if he talked to Dom Lemmon about this. Is him and Dom Lemmon have a relationship, do they really? Not, not a friendship. No, a friendship. Uh, well, you know that goes though. Damn, you guys just heard the hot T. Vecchio and broke the fact that Donald

Let him. Donald Let him. Just a small letter. Haven't said. There was an S for you recently. They just did a thing where like the father, like some kid got kidnapped or something. I think by like a trainer or something in the house.

And like the father was like, what he found was the father started fucking the trainer or something he had to admit it. He's like well He came and the guy was like a seductory. He would like he like they did it like the movie With a documentary abducted in plain sight Yeah, they took it from that it was like he was fucking the mother and then it turned out he was also fucking the father And the father was jealous and upset damn You would be a kid not only a lot of kids find out their parents cheat or find out like a hard way of that.

To find out that they're both cheating with the same dude. Crazy. One lot to swallow. One man to completely implode your family. Yeah, he goes, jussie small daddy goes, what happened? He goes, took your mom away, goes,

and my dad. Got him both. They're still fighting over him. Yeah, I hate it. Haven't had a peaceful Christmas and set some of a bitch game in their lives. The polyamorous now. Oh man.

How gross. I've talked about that a lot since we watched that. Polyamorous, if you just changed the word to polyamorous, everyone's so proud of these. There's an A-G-T guy. We watched this stuff. He's got two wives. When he goes, I wore polyamorous

and the place explodes with clapping. And I go, I just watched a fucking seven-part series about why this is illegal and gross and a weird thing to do to people. And everyone's like, yeah, did you want to say anything? You throw a word like polyamorous. People get their group. They just go, oh, it's a thing we have to respect what they do. Yeah.

Oh, the word. It's so brave. What's the difference between polyamorous and plural marriage? Or some saying, plural or polygamy. Yeah, it's the same thing. I guess legal. But there's no. Okay, none of us are Mormon lawyers. Okay. It's actually our new side podcast. Mormon lawyer. Mormon lawyer. I prefer this Amish law and Mormon law. Wait, wait is it but click me is being married to someone and then falsely marrying somebody else but it's what has to be because none of them will be legally seen ever but it this guy both these girls

We're wearing wedding rings remember we looked at it. So if you're cool with it. It's polyam right If you just call polyamorous everyone's like oh, that's not fucker I'll just like some people call marijuana grass or That's not fuck. All right, I'll just like some people call marijuana grass. Or, or, or, Dabs, poor Lisa. RIP. RIP, dude,

go up and off again. I've got that under the banner of heaven series I watched was like a, was like from a book. I was like a, like a fixture show. It was good. But like they have that,

like they show it's so great. The beginning of having the tell like your wife that you think we're gonna start doing that kind of Mormonism. Yeah. They're already so into God and everything. And they always wife that you think we're gonna start doing that kind of Mormonism. Yeah. They're already so into God and everything. And they always have the fundamentals for weir, but then if the husband gets sucked into the fundamentalist thing, which is pretty easy sell.

Pretty, if you're already gone where like I live every day for like a annoying boring, like religious reason, you're like, well, dude, I could fuck three of these fucking chin hair bitches. All right. Sure. Yeah. And go for it. So having to tell a girl, like, could imagine like the lowering the radio in the car to

Christina being like, so. Well, I was thinking. I was talking to her. I was the Lord actually does think we should, I should probably have some younger pussy in the house too. Do you think it starts with more I'm thinking or I found this crazy part of scripture. Oh yeah. Yeah.

A man should take on his undisputed over. It's not even really what I want. It's the supusieth. It's the pusieth. I need more pusieth. I mean, how do you get to that conversation? I tell you, I remember always trying to break up with the girl when I was a teenager.

I put on Dave Mason's We Just Disagree song. And then in the middle of the song, I lowered the radio, I go, I go, this is, I feel this is like us, right here. It's like, no one's wrong. We just don't see the same way. I don't like it. Something to the point.

Yeah, you see, I did that with, but I did it with black Sabbath, and I turned it down and I went, see, you're a war pig. Yeah, I do. You know what I mean? You're poor and I turned it down and I went see your war pig Your poor and you fuck a lot Aussie Satan laughing spreads is Dude that's a breakup so I go this look at the ball roll in the conversation by the way she's name I'm just a pig. Dude, that's a breakup song. I go, this look at the ball roll in the conversation.

By the way, she's like, I was always an old soul with music. So this is a time where it's like, I should've been playing like club music or like new Wu Tang. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And I'm playing Dave Mason for cause I listen to this kind of stuff. Yes.

And just playing that and going like, it's crazy. It's so really is like, the lyrics are crazy. it's saying it's like there's gonna be anybody's wrong Particularly just two people that aren't supposed to be together. That's pretty powerful Did you guys she was like what I was like no, I know it's like I think you said the other day too You were feeling weird. You saw your ex-boyfriend right? Are you guys feel some some stuff? Did you guys ever plagiarize Musical lyrics for like homework assignments? No, I did way worse. That's cool. Did you guys ever plagiarize musical lyrics for like homework assignments?

No, I did way worse. That's early early bonfire. Software here, he's so weird. You were here on the bonfire. I don't remember that. No. I plagiarized the entire song Amanda by Boston and put in the word Diana for Diana Brady,

thinking again that I'm an old young person. So no one knows, my stepfather loves Boston. That's why I know Boston, the band, and I just changed, and it's giving it to, we're not even thinking. It starts with babe. How intense. It starts with babe.

Not only I start with babe, I treat it like it wasn't a poem. I wrote it, it was a letter, but I did the repeats of the choruses. That's so funny, you know you do. And I said, I love you so much. It's such a definite rest of our lives, all crazy shit and I gave a sewer thinking it was gonna make her so happy and also that no one in my school would know the song Amanda

Game my boss at end when I walked down the hallway and Five girls in a pack like giggling at me and then singing the actual song to take you by surprise and make you realize I'm gonna walk the class to rip you. Did you know it? Did you put it in when you were done writing it? Did you like put it in an envelope and you like no? Here we go Did you write I didn't put an envelope? I think I folded up in the one of those pulle ears Did you title like Diana to your original on below I think I folded up in the one of those pull years Did you title like Deanna to your original poetry by J. O. Creson? No Just starts off babe tomorrow so far away. There's something I just have to say I'm gonna I'm gonna give you there had to be a little bit where she was like small fuckers got bars

Yeah, so she and then in the middle of the first got bars. Yeah. And then the middle of the first. It's bitch. The middle of the first course. Spitten. All right. And then she goes, Oh, God. Oh, God. Damn it. It's a man that my Boston got damn it. And she goes, I'm going to tell you where I can't wait another day. Oh, this is Boston. Son of a bitch. Second verse. This is Boston. Classic Boston. I used to write like I used to

steal like red hot chili peppers lyrics for like poetry written inside. They pull you aside to go Andy We're afraid that you're addicted to heroin You some pretty concerned here in almost Shining like fashion you just wrote the words give it away give it away Over and over for an entire composition Andrew who is calling you sir psychosexy Dan we notice on your recent paper that you're talking about selling crack cocaine. Yeah, that's actually from reasonable doubt.

Yeah, I told the girl you wanted to suck her kiss. Yeah. That's from a JZ album. And that's my point of view. So funny, he goes, this story you wrote about you moving as a young man to Los Angeles and being exposed to the crazy wildlife before ultimately becoming a rock star yourself

To start really like the welcome to the jungle I'm just gonna bring it up to you real quick. I don't think you're feeding your dogs gunpowder So they can devour the criminal. I got bro. I'm trying to stop your decimals. You're trying to squeeze me Yeah, I like that being said. I think we should say together. I like your effort. Yes, I gave you a C But I want to talk to you because it starts your essay begins with I hurt myself today To see if I still feel Dan who are you hanging out with? Yeah, do you like that we can do this shit every weekend

them. Yeah, do you like that? We can do this shit every weekend. That's a grateful dead lyrics. Is that all right with you? Put your lips on my dick and suck my asshole too. I'm a freaking heat. I dog without warning me my glasses. I have an appetite for sex because me so horny. Hey, Dan, why did you say in this particular assignment that you wanted me to Sucking on your titties like you're wanting. Can you explain? I threw a hand on your hip when I dip you dip I dip again Two live crew rules are good. Now, I know it's in the middle here I'm gonna pull a part of here in the middle. I highlighted it says I know he'd be disgusted when the seizure pussy busted Won't your mama be so mad if she knew I got that ass now. I don't know how this relates to the revolutionary war

Use it's very it's a very vivid picture you're painting. I let the I laid out the instructions pretty clear It's right something in I am a pentameter and you came back with don't stop let me see you do do brown I want a rock I want a rock I I want a rock now is that a purposeful stutter because I did like the creative direction you got caught you know they just thought you were pro-listen early you know 90s no internet no way to look that shit up if you if like mr. chispera didn't know the red actually bevers. It was pretty creative. Mr. Fiore fantastic work and I hope to one day

find your stairway to heaven. Yeah. Oh my God. There it is, bitch. Excellent use of all. You guys didn't use rock, I hope one day you find your stairway to heaven. And I don't know what this process of California occasion is.

But I hope your scar tissue heals. Never stop dreaming of it though. Yeah, we're stop dreaming of California cation. Yeah, we're hanging out. We're hanging out with Mike Vecchione and Mercface Amvy. Amvy. Andy Fjord. Andy, Andy, Andy.

He goes, oh dude, I remember this. He goes, this is my dissertation for a... He goes, my Geography. I wrote an AP geography Mike Vekkyo comic Mike V dot com. What is it? At comic Mike V. That's not Mike V put the the website Mike Vekkyo Mike Vekkyo dot com. He's gonna be a Chicago. He's gonna be the Inzane's July down town downtown Chicago's yeah, that's July 1st and 2nd

That's a 24 hour star tomorrow and Saturday tomorrow and Saturday Go Chicago go fucking buy those tickets up. We got our Starbucks right by the club. Oh, is it? Yes, dude, fuck you Becky own rules go see him Chicago. Oh, yeah, first time headliner headlight jeans nah i've been there guys it's great fucking great club and if you're a dot com bigjcomedy dot com dancerter dot com we'll be right back this is your farm we'll keep your eyes

do you special talk oh fire sorry Sorry. you