The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Renter's Remorse with Rosebud Baker

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Comedian Rosebud Baker returns to catch up with the guys and promote her new Netflix special "The Mother Lode." Bobby and Rosebud were with comic Pete Lee soon after his home burned down in the L.A. fires. Pete goes on Jimmy Fallon's show to tell his story and Bob discovers that he was renting his L.A. house not an owner. Jay remembers when his home got flooded in Hurricane Sandy and his maid had to dry out all his pornographic materials. Bobby shares a video of him falling down yet again. Footage of Bob falling the first time is played along with DJ Mike Calta embarrassingly hitting the dirt. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Bobby tell me the name of the band It's ABC No, this is uh Justified one-hit wonder Jacob do you know? Cuz we're men. This has nothing to do with masculinity. It does.

Let's do it with your little pink fingernails going off right now. No. As a man, I used to sing into a hairbrush in my room, dreaming of a dream boy, to this song. Exactly. I can't wait. Buy new shoes. Yeah, nobody knows this.

You don't look at the screen of your 80s on 8 here at serious XM faction talk 103 big Jay Okerson Robert Kelly is the bonfire We got a rosebud Baker is in Jesus effing Christ I have an intro was that I'm like everyone's off game. I don't want to play Nuts is it me? Why is everyone so frazzled here? I feel like you got the most frazzled. Well, you weren't here. Today's been a series of mishaps.

Everyone's freaking out and panicking. Okay. Not throwing effort. And then Bobby. Rosebud Baker is right. No. And Bobby goes out of the gates. I go, Bobby, go.

Rosebud's Vegas here like Jesus come on a new special mother load is right now streaming on the one and only no words you're an ass you're an ass why don't you let people be themselves maybe it's you you You're not being yourself. I am being myself. You're more comfortable in this. I'm telling you to shut your face. You're more comfortable in this.

Shut your face. You're normally more comfortable in this. Shut your face. Anyways, I got a special streaming on Netflix right now. It's called The Motherload. I'm on tour. No, yeah, yeah. I mean, let Jay do it.

Do I keep going? No, let Jay do it. No, Bobby. Jay, you do it. We both suck it. What are you? New specials called Motherload streaming right now on Netflix.

She's currently on the Harmless Lady Tour with dates come up in Cleveland, Baltimore, Edmonton, and Sacramento. It's the hilarious Rosebud Baker sitting in with the bonfire today. Thanks guys. He's really good. Thanks so much.

He's good. Thanks, that was really excellent. Radio schtick. I appreciate it. He's got a little chubby theater kid inside of him that loves coming out of me too Well, if you were here 30 minutes ago, you would have seen I don't know if it's inside of him His nails are painted true It's trying to rip its way out Christine's gonna wake up one day. She's gonna be in a dress on a wicker bed

Christine's gonna wake up one day, she's gonna be in a dress on a wicker bed. These are my Raven clothing gloves. Wearing all lace. Do you know how bad he wants a papasan in the living room? You're not wrong. You're not wrong about any of this. Do you know about that papasan life? No. Tell us about it.

I did a little Shakespeare passage earlier. Just killed it it doesn't matter I feel like my mic is like flaccid. I don't want you to help me. Bobby use your mouth with it. I don't want Bobby to help me. Sit down. Sit back. Bobby you do the balls and she'll do the top. Of course Jacob fucking made it go totally flat. This is how I react when it does go soft I had it I had it

God damn it, it's so embarrassing When it does go soft I go ah I got it Get a guy in here It's right there go ahead How's it going? Rosebud, do you get angry when you're in a long relationship? Do you get angry at a guy not being hard the second he pulls his wiener out?

Because this has historically been a problem for Christine. The second he pulls it out? She thinks she can't believe it's not hard that a guy's not. Still? That's not true. No, I'm actually relieved. When it's not hard? Yeah.

Yeah, because it means. I've done my time. Yeah, yeah. Jacob, how do you feel about it? I wouldn't know. Sus. Pretty, pretty sus. No, I always feel relieved. Yeah? Why?

Because the job's done. We're done. Oh, wait. No, no, no. We're saying when you start. If you have to do some effort to make the guy hard, is that an insult? Is it crazy? Or you just assume maybe this guy has seen a naked woman before and he doesn't get hard in a second. to do some effort to make the guy hard. Is that an insult? Is it crazy? Or you just assume maybe this guy has seen

a naked woman before and he doesn't get hard in the second he sees you. It's not insulting, but it's like a little bit of a pain in my ass. You know? And it's not like. But it's not insulting. It's just like, ugh.

You have work to do. All right. You know, I just, yeah, I would like to not. I'm lazy is what I'm saying. You wish your face and your personality made it hard. I'm not saying my personality, let's not push it, but. You really have the personality of a clew. You're like, I'm gonna get my hair done, I stay in shape.

Yeah, I do what I can. Yeah, you really do have the good and the bad and the ugly personality. You hear Western whistles, the Western music. I want to, we've saved for you. Yeah. I, I, he said maybe we should do this. I said let's, I want Rosebud involved in this. Okay.

Because you deserve it. Because I've made fun of you. Uh huh. A lot. Yeah. That's, that's why these girls come in. Not these girls, Rosebud. No, no, no, but some of them come in and they,

but you know them. Annie Letterman, when she came in, same thing. No, I love you. You don't have a problem with them coming in. They come in hot on you because you have already attacked them. Bobby's the only man in comedy that I've fought with besides my husband, I think. Nice.

Yeah. I think this. I snapped at him once. I think, well, that was your bad. No, I apologized. Yeah, that was weird shit I apologize. Yeah, there was some weird. I'm having that baby. Yeah, he's a lady in our relationship I couldn't tell I couldn't say that I was pregnant But Bobby made fun of my sweatpants one time and I snapped at him and he didn't talk to me for like eight months until I

Apologize, but here's the thing you didn't wear those sweatpants to get a T of this. I did wear those sweatpants I wore them again this weekend. Ugh. You asshole. Jay, I snapped at you. Yeah. Because you said some foul shit. I didn't say anything. Yeah, you did.

On my daughter's life. On my wife's and son's life. You shouldn't do that because you're saying I said it. Well, you shouldn't do it either. You know, I know what I said. But I know what you said, too. You don't. You guys do it every episode. You, you shouldn't do it either. You know, I know what I said. But I know what you said too. You don't. You guys do it every episode.

Huh? You swear on your families every episode. Probably. But this was a big one. No, Bobby. You said you wanna, you'll fuck, on stage, it's on stage. If you can find it, I'll suck your dick on the radio.

All right, but you suck my dick until I cum. Yeah. And I'm not, like, if you're doing it wrong, you better fucking do it better. And I wanna be hard when you, when I, I wanna be hard when you pull it out. Absolutely. I'll gargle your balls, I'll lick your ass

and jerk you off myself, or you could jerk off while I lick your balls, whatever you want. I'll talk shit to you, I'll use your spit, my spit. Yeah, no crap either. Okay, so I'm not bringing the baby to Skankfest, I guess. No, no, no, not this year. You know what, now that I'm thinking about it, not this year. I think what you're, to Skank Fest. No, no, no, not this year. Okay. You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, not this year.

I think the point you're making though, I think the table precedes itself. I think anybody who's been part of the table, this thing that doesn't even exist anymore really except when it's Keith or me, we'll still play the game a little bit, but really it's not. It was every night. But now anytime you are from that, somebody comes in it's like oh shit I gotta have my thing up when you really don't right I mean right me but me and you of We're from you kind of caught the end of it. You're part of it. You've taken shit from everybody. You've given shit

Yeah, and she's an e I'm gonna tell you what how evil you're an evil. She's an evil woman She's an evil. I'm gonna tell you how evil. You're an evil. She's an evil woman. She's not. He keeps saying this about me. This has happened ever since I snapped about the sweatpants. I just want to point that out.

She's a wife and a mother. She seems lovely. Listen to me. I'm wearing a pink sweater. Pete Lee. I'm wearing a pink sweater on, knowing that it would make me look more innocent. Pete Lee.

Okay. When I kick. Yeah, yeah. Did you burn his house down? I know where you're going. I know where you're going. I know where you're going. No, it was a rental. Yeah. Oh, that's right. I forgot it was a rental. That's just funny news. This is what this evil woman did. I went in, I, I in front of everybody, I was like, you rented and he's like,

what? What? What? And he's like, what? Gugugaga gaga, gugugaga gaga gugugaga. Boogie boogie, boogie boogie, boogie boogie baby, go bye bye baby rental. Boogie boogie, boogie, boogie, no he's right there, fire. Oh, ouchie ouchie fire. Boogie boogie, my TV in blanket, boogie boogie dookie. Boogie boogie tonight, Charles. Right? So I'm like, you're rented.

He's like, no, but I have my stuff. I go, buddy, I give you owner sympathy. Yeah. That's a different whole fucking emotion I give you. And she's going- It was the next week, by the way. It was that week. It was that week.

She goes like this, laughing, laughing. She goes, Bobby, oh my Lord, Jesus our savior. I said, Bobby, relax. No, you were like that, you can't say that. And she was doing it to fucking throw me out of the bus. Because the whole time I would say something, she'd start cracking up agreeing with me. Yeah, of course.

And as soon as I look away, she'd look at me like, ha. Just an evil fucking mean person. Well, because I was finding out that it was a rental at the same time he was. I didn't know it was a rental until Bobby walked was finding out that it was a rental at the same time he was. I didn't know it was a rental until Bobby walked up and goes, it's a rental? Do you know who else didn't know?

I had just been talking to him. But he was on The Tonight Show. I was going to say, you know who else didn't know? Jimmy Fucking Fallon. Oh, man, look at this. Oh, my god, that's crazy. Look, it's just a bunch of, just a shell, a shell of a building.

It has nothing to do with them. Oh, look, wait a second. And there's your water bill on the ground. That's yours. Is that it? Is that it? Oh, my god. Is this what you made me?

This is why? No, this is not. OK, all right. I have something for you. I was like, this is fucking evil. This is funny, though. I really, I watched this with a real, like, damn. In fact, I was more, actually, you know what?

It makes me judge less. Because I was like, read it. Let me say this. I was more of a real like damn in fact I was more actually know what it makes me judge less because I was like the read it Let me say this I was more of a fame whore Yeah, I thought was more of a fame whore move where he's like I don't give a fuck I could parlay this into something on the on the Tonight Show and I'm like Jesus heck how Desperate like go handle your fucking shit. Don't go on the fucking Tonight Show And then it turns out it goes no He should definitely go on the Tonight Show, and laughed more

and not been so devastated because it was a rental. And you'll be able to recover your fucking Wayfair sheets again. But they weren't his sheets. They make them in fucking bulk. He had bags that was his. But what about my light that has one that comes out and the other one goes straight

up with the two switches? My posters! I built that myself! My posters! All my posters! What about all my cue cards from the Tonight Show? My kooby dooby Tonight Show cue cards! What about my reasonably priced full-size Tempur-Pedic?

Oh my God. It's a Casper. Oh shit. It's a Casper. I love it though, he says, but when you read him, it sounds like baby talk. Can I tell you something? Bad instincts by the way, I love Pete. But this is bad instincts in a sense,

because if this was gonna come out that it was a rental, he should have, would have killed if when he said that thing, and when they give him the sympathy if he would have been like It's okay. It was a rental and just but then you can still go I lost all my shit and blah blah blah But obviously here's a picture whatever you guys have to go. He accepted the sympathy Accepted the sympathy of the sympathy the night before he did this. I was hand on shoulder Do you if you need anything buddy, I'm here. Seriously, whatever you need

I got you and I gave him bucks go next door. Tell my moods give you a couple I know I gave him your house sympathy Wow, and I talked him for like three minutes if there was a rental Minute minute 20. I'm gone tap on on the back, hey man, good luck. Not if, you would never get if you need anything, I got you. If he had renters insurance, I think he owes us money. Like he should give us money for the time I wasted feeling sorry for him.

I do wanna know now if it was a house or an apartment. That's my answer. It was a house. It was a small like beach type house. Yeah, yeah. I was renting the house. They show a picture of it, yeah, yeah. They show a picture. I don't wanna see a house. It was a house. It was a small like beach Ranting the house they show a picture of it. Yeah They show a picture of there it is right there some nice house was Was a nice well, let's also be honest here

It's pretty small, but it's on the water. It's on the water right so God man. God was taking that thing either way Yeah, here it is right now though by land or by sea or by fire. God is taking that thing either way. Yeah. Here it is right now though. By land or by sea or by fire, God is taking California away. Probably cost the same amount. He wants it back in his kingdom. Yeah. Yeah, there was like a massive earthquake like right after the Oscars.

Why not? It's like okay. Why not dude? Wrap it up. Yeah. Yeah, just get the fuck, go to Austin like everybody else. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of this goddamn place. So we have a video that... Austin is a new Hollywood by the way. Nashville, Austin I think. There is nothing funnier. I think the music went to Nashville and the TV went to Austin and Atlanta. Music, music, music.

TV and film went to fucking Canada. TV, no, TV, they have a, every huge movie goes to Atlanta. Is there nothing funnier? Oh, I guess Georgia, yeah, yeah, yeah. Every huge movie goes to Atlanta. Is there nothing funnier, by the way, than seeing exposed spiral staircase, the shittiest stairs, but that's the one thing

that survives the fucking, did you see that? Spiral staircase still going strong. The shitty, look at it, the back there, back quarter. There it is. Son of a bitch, you can't shake that stupid fucking spiral staircase. It was the bane of his existence. You ever try to carry a box of anything up a spiral staircase? Go back there, you can see his box of merch that didn't fucking burn.

Oh! Buddy, that is, when I had the flood, when Hurricane Sandy destroyed all my shit, that was the we're going back into knee deep water and seeing all of my unsold fucking CDs floating on the water top. And someone goes, they're wrapped in plastic and you can still sell them. They go, throw everything in here out. They're wrapped in plastic. Yeah, go dry them off.

You're giving out moldy CDs. When that happened, by the way, my ex-mother-in-law is one of the funniest things. I was resigned to everything that's in that fucking murky seawater that came in the house, throw it away. All of it, please. She's like this old Colombian lady,

and she's like, we're going to dry this stuff. Unbeknownst to me, out back of the house. She can make a new staircase out of it. She's not Mexican, she's Colombian. Same shit. When they, she set up these tables outside and her plan was to let things air dry when everything was brought outside.

And what I didn't know she was gonna do was my limited but still decent sized DVD collection, she, these are destroyed. She opened all the boxes like books and had them set out there to dry in the sun which was crazy, it didn't work. But she did that one and I went, all the porn I had and like girls going wild DVD, it was like,

and she had them, I was like oh God, just no she's looking at me god I don't make judge I just open she's drying three thousand DVDs out in the sun three thousand DVDs a thousand of them were good remember Yoshi yeah it was Yoshi used to work for porn company would just give us porn yeah so we just had it yeah it was beyond the time of DVDs you just took them because you were like okay yes yeah nice yeah and it would be these stacks of them, and she's like, exactly, big black dicks, little white chicks, and she's like, must dry, soak, and.

What a sweetie pie. FEMA won't pay us for this, that lady is anything but a sweetie pie. A monster. Some say it was the wrath of God on her that brought the flood to that house so hard. It sounds like she was involved, considering how helpful she was, if she was a bitch.

It was her house. She owned the house. We were renting the downstairs from her. The whole thing was an ugly situation. Was she upstairs? Oh, she was probably celebrating you guys leaving. She was not upstairs at that point. Was it another family?

No, I was in the basement. Carla was upstairs with us. Oh, you guys were living separate? Not really. It was all one house. It was just that point. Yeah. There was not even fighting.

It was just like a different life. Me and Dave Smith lived downstairs playing video games and smoking pot until Isabella got home from school. And then we would my two dads her for a couple hours. Me and Dave Smith, she loved it. And then we would my two dads her for a couple hours she loved it and then and then Carla would come home and me and Dave would drive this city and go do comedy and then fucking and then rinse repeat in the basement and then and then it flooded and then the basement flooded and then I

was sleeping in the grandmother's old room. I know it was wacky. Yeah awful and still I'm letting you know it was not my house. It was just my pornographic DVDs that never dried out. I did almost feel bad. I did almost feel bad. You felt bad for a second and your your evilness when you were protecting Pete Lee's when I was fucking calling him up for his horse shit. Well I was taken by surprise because I had just been talking to him about it. Yeah. And he hadn't mentioned that it was a rental and then you walked up and you were like it was a rental and I felt like I was getting caught. How did everybody find out it was a rental?

In the fucking thing. The night before, I was talking to him, and he's, yeah, my house is, I'm like, holy shit, I mean, this is crazy, I'm so, and I spent time with him, I felt terrible, and I went home and told Dom, this guy, Pete Lee, man. Wish to a better fit. He, yeah, it was like weird.

I started to go fund me. I just bought this house, and I just got a car, and it's all gone. I'm like wow this stinks You got divorce all the shit. You know, I mean, oh you think that's why so then I'm watching the tonight show I'm a piece of shit can't even afford a house. He's got a rent If I'd given money to a go fund me I would have asked for it back I Was my wife left cuz he couldn't stay living with somebody renting I go. Let me watch his fucking tonight show I was like, all right. I hope his wife left, because she couldn't stand living with somebody renting still. God.

I go, let me watch his fucking Tonight Show. I want to just support and just check it out. Let him know, hey man, great set. And I'm watching, and then he gets on the couch, I'm like, whoa shit, this is crazy. And he's talking about it, but at the end of the video, he says something very sneaky. I forget how it was, where.

Mocking my security deposit back. He lets you know like a friend of mine's. Something at the end of that video of the night show, he says it's a friend of mine's house. Really quick. Where it's like wait a minute. And then I found out. I rewound on it, this fucking cocksucker was renting.

It's not his house. Even that was kind of genius though I put it and I rewound on it. This fucking cocksucker was renting Even that was kind of genius though because it got people on the internet to watch a whole video. Oh I did I don't watch fucking Pete Lee's. Yeah, and I watched it and then I really I felt fucking betrayed Betrayed and then when I came in first thing I saw his face Telling this stupid story again to all you fuckers at the back I'll say dude in a way took your house I'm glad his I'm happy that his collection of light spring jackets are now destroyed in a fire You're happy his blue suit is gone, and I bet he doesn't have any receipts for that shit Hey, you're fucked dude. Femus gonna shove it right up your pie hole

When I but when I called the mother he was he was so panicking. No, he wasn't I don't think he was I think he took It well, I think he was a camera. No, but I for a second. He was like He was my PlayStation 5 took it well, he went from a nine-year-old to a fucking three-year-old in one sentence. He went nobody My two area my two area rugs were mine I Owned those I wasn't renting those I'll never get those back oriental rugs I've said on the show before but I've told you when Kevin Hart was trying to get send me money after the hurricane Yeah, and what Keith said Keith was trying yeah

Yeah, Keith kept trying to get me Keith Robbins kept trying to get me to answer the phone for Kev I knew Kev was gonna try throw money at me And I was already humiliated that I needed it and didn't want to take it from him. Yeah, and then so Keith calls me He goes hey, she goes Kev's trying to call you man answer the phone I was like I go dude. He's gonna try to give give me money and I don't want that and he's like hey wants to help out man like let him help you out and I was like I don't it's uncomfortable dude he's gonna give me money that's gonna make me feel ridiculous like I'm gonna watch it's gonna mean nothing to him and it's like it probably will save my life I

don't know just weird dude and he goes he's trying to give you ten thousand dollars and I went yeah I'm saying dude dude. That's fucking like crazy. It's way too much He goes it's insultingly low You know what and now many years removed later myself and further my career you're like it was insultingly low You could have broke me off 100k Pandemic first happened. I lost 50 shows in one night. And I was talking to Louis, and I was like, yeah, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.

50, the Creeps with Kids, sold out theater show. And I was panicking. And Louis was like, I wanna give you money. I go, no. I go, look it, when I ask for it, you can give it to me, because you know I need it. Right now, I gotta figure out a way to get it. And then he wound up just sending me a check.

Really? For money. He just sent it to me. Really? Yeah. That's pretty cool. It's pretty fucking, and I took it as fast as, I put that in the file. I was like, thank God he didn't buy my shit. I do, I have to assume.

I needed that fucking money. I try to back pocket a thing that I have sitting in some kind of a weird trust in my mind that Sal Vulcano, Nate Bargatze, and Shane Gillis are all people when I go, I need $1 million and I need it in the worst way now that they will do this for me. Because I asked them for nothing besides that.

I have the same thing. But I know this thing, I go, hey, don't make me go, remember you opened for me in Timonium, Maryland? I have the same thing with Colin, Rich Voss, and Keith Robinson. OK, there's a problem there. I need $1,000, and I need it now. Or I'm going to die.

And Voss will go, can I give it to you two weeks from now? Can I give it? I got some clubs you can sell. I can't do that with anybody. Everybody's just gonna be like, did both your parents die yet? If both my parents have died and I've run out of that, then I can ask. Then you got one, yeah. You got a good batch too. You have a good batch, like your generation of comics like produce some big time fucking millionaires. You gotta have like the chaise right I gotta go like chaise not I'm friends with chaise but he's not like the one of my back pocket money in the bank should you really need it mine

all failed I would never ask chaise oh my god canceled sure failed oh yeah Colin he had a couple shots and didn't fucking swing. And then stupid Norton, that fucking stupid worm from an apple really fucked up the Obi and Antity thing. We could all, if they just went for three more years and kept their stupid shit together, we would have been the podcast, we would have been the Burt and the fucking Segura

and everything, but those losers. Then it was Jimmy. And now he's gonna leave all that money to a chick with dick And then she's taking it now he's not gonna have anything but she's done. Oh, yeah She starts like a drag band. I was jump off that balcony and be street pizza before that happens I got key I've never heard that in my life. Fantastic. That is a first for me. I've never heard that.

I got double stroke Keith who still is in a two bedroom in fucking Woodbridge. Voss, if Bonnie keeps making money, maybe I have a shot. And then- You don't. You don't. And that's it. Bonnie's not giving you money. Voss has barely got a shot.

Yeah. I got nothing. He's trying to hang in there. Voss has all those golden frames in his house so you could sell he does fucking Renaissance those 17th century Italian art he makes me sick to my stomach you can melt down his fucking pinky rings and make bigger pinky ring Thank you ring for a better bigger pinky alright, well listen, I don't know if you ever saw the video

where I was in the gym and I was working out. Did you ever see that? I didn't, thank God. I was working out in the gym and I, when I... You posted a video of it? Well, what happened was is that I... That's because it's funny. It's not an asshole, watch me workout video, but... Which Jake hates, by the way.

Oh, I hate those. A man setting up a camera to show me himself working out is very strange. Yeah, it's upsetting. So I actually got this security footage from the gym because I was trying to do a decline, but the weight was too heavy to flip me over and I got stuck in between.

He never stopped going backwards. And then, and then, and then I got stuck. I got stuck in between the thing and oh You were under the weight your arm was trapped my hand my hand was the weight kept my hand down So I was stuck my feet was over my head and there was an Indian guy that came over and I finally goes you Sorry, all right, then I was just good. I told you see you don't see the Indian guy though You just see Bobby get up from, I mean ass over tea kettle. Oh, here we go, here we go, I'll show you. Here we go.

That way. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! So I'm stuck, I'm stuck. Oh my God. I fall.

Oh my God. Oh my God. It really couldn't have gone worse. Oh my God. Oh my God. The weight, by the way, the weight almost crushed your face. I can't, I can't get the weight, my hand out from under the other weight.

My hand was stuck in the weight. Here it comes. I'm good. Ha ha ha! Wait, let me see. Oh my god! So now! Now!

Wait, I didn't see the thumbs up. Hold on. All right. Here we go, right? That goes. Stop for a while, there. Sorry, sorry. This is a thumbs up.

Oh my god. So I'm stuck right there. I mean, I'm so stuck. And then the guy goes, so for a while, dude. Sorry, sorry, this is tough stuff. Oh my God. So I'm stuck right there. I mean, I'm so stuck. And then the guy goes, so are you all right? And I went, I'm good. My hand was stuck, my hand was stuck. Oh my God! So let me just say this.

I'm on the thing, decline, I go ass over kettle, my hand gets stuck, I'm stuck. Now Jay, now I wanna bring this up on Santino's podcast because it just happened. You look like Melissa McCarthy. I give Santino the video. Jay gets mad at me, he's like, yo, that should have been here.

And he is right, but it's just the circumstances. Now, I had another fall. So I was, hang on a second, don't play it. So now I'm gonna set this up. I was distracted because you looked like Melissa McCarthy. Will you tell me again what happened, what Jay got mad at you about? Oh, Jay got mad at me because I was on Santino's podcast.

It had just happened. I told him it happened. Oh, got it, got it, got it. He wasted it on that video. He's like, I need to see this video. And I wound up getting the security footage and I sent it to him. He put it out there.

Then it was on Rogue and it just went nuts. It went viral. I mean. Rogue, video cameras, the video cameras outside of the house are becoming fantastic because the Mike Cauter fall, you're right. That's a lot, that's right now raining number one fall because Mike Cauter at his heaviest, face first, down on the ground. Let's show that first. Please raining number one fall because Mike Cauter at his heaviest face first down on the ground

Let's show that first, please. Okay. This is my couch It's not the fall. It's the full acceptance that this is life now and I'm just gonna be here until you need me But I think it was also is the house falling down behind me because of what I just So this is Mike behind his house just walking out. This is one of the greatest falls of all time. He's on the Ring Cam out behind his house in lovely Florida. Ready? This is the best.

One, two, and wait, wait. And. Wait, watch him get up like a baby elephant. Watch. Oh, right to the camera too. Wait, look at him brush himself up. Wait, wait, wait. the camera too. Wait, look at him brush himself up. Wait, wait, wait, here it is.

One, two, three, and one, two, three, four, five. He waits a nice five seconds. Is it right next to a room full of weights? Yeah, that's his gym. Gym equipment? I didn't even notice that. That's his tortoise pen in the back, and his weights are right there.

One, two, and boom. Oh, he just lies there. He just takes it. That's his tortoise pen in the back and his weights are right there So, oh my god, I don't know this that's I think that's number one But this so I'm coming out if he had laid there any longer. I would have been like, he's dead. Oh yeah, for sure. I thought the camera froze. Yeah. When that was at the end of the video, they just stopped the video, and then obviously it just starts moving.

Oh my God. So I'm coming outside of my house. I always leave first thing smoking, 3.30, 4 a.m., to get Carmel picks me up where I live now. To the airport. To the airport, to go to the show, where I'm going away on the a.m. to get Carmel picks me up up where I live now. So. To the airport. To the airport, to go to the show where I'm going away on the weekends.

So, Dawn, I usually leave the outdoor light on for the porch. We're having it redone, but my front porch, it's like too small. Like the door opens, there's not enough space to be on the thing. So I'm coming out in complete darkness with my bags. Now mind you, my wife's dead asleep.

The Carmel guys at the end of my driveway which is pretty long, nobody can see me. But this fall happens and I tell Dawn, I forget what I tell them, they're like, you have a Ring Cam, right? And I was like, oh shit. So I went back and I got, of course the Ring camp picked it up.

And I, let me tell you something, I fucking, I am such a peachy. This is new to me. This is the one I don't know. This is the one he doesn't know. Okay. So I saved it for you and I told Jay that you're coming on, you deserve this. Okay, thank God. So here you go. I should have like a world premiere.

Oh, thank God. See, make it as big as you can, Christine. I've heard that before, haven't you? That's as big? Yeah, it won't get bigger now. No, that stinks. Okay, here you go, ready? This looks like a ghost hunting video.

Right? Oh, geez. Wait, wait, and bye-bye. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

But you're gonna see me, I'm way over there. See me way over there? You're so far away. I, yeah. way over there. See me way over there? You're so far away. First of all, I thought the video was fun. Did you run? Did you just start running? No, no, no.

Are you still tumbling? First of all, you give full ass crack to start the video is the funniest part. You start the video by just giving us full ass crack. Did you somersault? I somersaulted. I went down, I somersaulted. I went down, I somersaulted. I wound up by my car and I didn't know how I got there.

And there's nobody, the Carmel, the limo guy didn't see me. I'm out there by myself. If I snapped my neck, he would have just left. You tumblesaulted. I thought you got up and started running towards the car. No, I wish you could make it bigger. Oh my God. Because you can see it, if it's bigger. I just hit. No, I wish you could make it bigger. Oh my god. Because you can see it, if it's bigger, I just hit the bottom,

I missed the bottom two steps. And I just fucking fly. Jesus Christ. Ah buddy. Oh my god. I can put this out? Yeah, put it out. I do also see into your asshole.

No, I don't think that's, I think that's my belt. I don't know. I don't think it's my belt. I think it's my vest. No, your belt is under the ass crack. Bell doesn't go up and down. If you zoom in it. I don't think I've I've looked I would assume myself. I actually I think it is belt. I think it's belt. Are you wearing a lighter belt? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's think it's, I think it's, I think it's my belt. That's gotta be his belt. It might be the belt. It's his belt? Yeah.

Your butt crack's not a black line. It's his belt. No, it's his belt. He's got a whale tail. I'm gonna whale tail. Bobby's back belt loop is directly center. Yeah. Okay. So it's reading like my ass crack

Yeah, it read like a wide crack believe me. I wanted it to be my ass crack for you I want but I buddy when I hit the ground first of all, I'm like I'm dead in my bread I'm like I'm dead because I missed the top two. I had a full luggage and a backpack holding on I hit the thing I rolled. I don't know how I got that far. I wound up all like. The best is like you sound like a box of records. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Hey, all kinds of shit goes out of your pockets. I mean, you should put all. It's like a fucking yard sale. Do you see, these Ring video cameras are fantastic. You see Aaron Berg posted the other day,

you see that one, a bird just flew into his house and you hear him go like, honey, a bird! There's a bird in the house! A bird flew in the house! I took that video and I took his voice out and I put a better voice over it. Nice.

Oh, bird's getting fucked over. See, Aaron Berg was in episode two, I believe, of Daredevil. No, I didn't see this. The new Daredevil on Disney Plus. Which huge premiere. And he's got a big couple lines in a scene. Where he's talking with Vince D'Anafio, which is you,

who's the mayor, comes out and you're like, holy shit, that is Aaron Berg, but that doesn't sound like him. And he goes, Mr. Mayor, you're like, holy shit, they dubbed him over, and that doesn't sound like him. And he goes, Mr. Mayor, we are, you're like, holy shit, they dubbed him over, and he doesn't know why. They dubbed him, so it's like, guys, we gotta get over here and do that.

But you know, it's like, guys, come here, we gotta get over there. I thought it was like, deep promise, isn't it? I love the fact that he's like, why didn't they take my voice? Why did they use another? Cuz I'm Jewish Muzzle talk to the mayor. Yeah No, I don't think got his answer. I think it's probably my guess would be it's an ADR fucking thing

Like yeah, they would have asked him to come in to do his own a That's the definitely unfun way. Of thinking of it? Yeah, right now. No, it's also not even. They just want to take his Jewish voice out of it? They definitely did because they would have brought him in to do his own ADR.

Too whiny in this climate. There's the J I know and love. Thank you. Did you find the scene? Did we vamp enough? I don't like logic J. I think it was an AR problem. Disney Plus wasn't working.

What? I got the clip. It's giving me errors on every time I try to play a game. Errors? What? Yeah, I think it's the location services. Same with Mario. What? They just got rid of Daredevil. They just took it off.

Aaron, so Jewish, he brought that place down to its knees. Daredevil will bow before me. That's crazy that they fucking changed. I've never heard of that. I had to wait and look at the credits to make sure it was Berg because the voice is so obviously not him. I'm like, oh, maybe it's the guy

who just looks a lot like Berg. It makes me really paranoid. He's wearing the construction shit and everything. They did that to Gina Carano in her first movie. They put her in this movie. She was the star, badass UFC fighter, woman's champ, blah, blah, blah. Paging Mr. Urban, you have a telephone call

at the front desk. They took her, they dubbed another person's voice, the whole movie. And they did it with Steven Seagal too. Bobby, I just noticed you have a bottle of piss next to you. Yeah, I have diabetes. Oh, okay. So they don't let me leave the studio,

Jay won't let me leave the studio to pee. He makes me stay here, so I have to pee in this. Why do you have the top open like you're drinking it? I drink it after. Okay, okay. To keep your blood sugar. He's me stay there so I have to pee. Why do you have the top open like you're drinking it? Because I drink it. I drink it after. Okay. Yeah, because I have diabetes. To keep your blood sugar. He's a complete system.

Got it. Okay, that checks out. He's running at 100% efficiency. Yeah. That's the cure. Drink your own piss. He's fueled by his own waste. 100% efficiency is fucking awesome. I got it, I gotta get it. Vamp, do some shit. All right, well I just asked you why there's a bottle of piss next to you. Well, I'll tell you that Rosebud's got a new special out right now called Motherload.

It's on Netflix and her tour of the Harmless Lady Tour with dates coming up in Cleveland, Baltimore, Edmonton. Comic strip in Edmonton? Yes. The club. Yeah, I think so. I think so. That's a good one. That's a funny. Sacramento, good cities and more.

For tickets and all of tour dates, go to rosebudbaker.com. I should tell, I should say that the Harmless Lady Tour was my first idea and I didn't think past it. That was the first draft. That was the first draft idea. Just the idea of the tour name? Yep. I'm bad at it too.

I named my tour this year, made posters and everything and I really just never think to call it that. I wanted it to be Lady Tour is one word but it's just coming out as like harmless lady tour which neither is funny but I, it's, you know. You know what to do. I called mine Ticket Still Available Tour. That's a good one. Lewis is pretty funny.

What? Lewis is doing the Bring Fiveailable Tour. That's a good one. Lewis is pretty funny. What? Lewis' thing, the Bring Five Friends Tour, it's pretty funny. Well, it's actually funny and it's true. Yeah, that's why he's funny. He goes, bring my friends. Bring five friends, everybody.

Mine's Peter, Big Jay O'Croson's Peter North American Tour coming on a city near you, if you know, you know. It's very long. That is long, yeah, yeah. It's a mouthful. Yeah, you'd have to put that on a blanket. But if you get it, you get it. It's a long walk. But if you get it, you get it.

Christine, I just sent you the video. A burg. Hey, Christine. Yeah. We vamped so long. I think we did. We don't have anything else to say to each other. Jacob starts making crazy motions.

We got nothing to say to this asshole. Jacob, we're fucked. Jacob, there's no ads. Jacob's doing Indian fingers. We have no ads. You guys have done three hours today? Four. Are we allowed to say that? Four.

Four? Who else has come on? No, it's just you. Sweet. Yeah, we did an hour. Okay. We had a big show with Jacob. Okay.

And you guys couldn't have brought me in any earlier, even though I'm a mother. You were like, let's wait till 6 p.m. We want you on the live show. Oh. We want you on the live show, Oh. We want you on the live show and while people are in the car listening. Oh, okay, this is live.

Was that good? This is live. Was that good, Jay? That was good, that was good. You lied and I believed it until you asked Jay. Big Jay has a new special right now on YouTube, youtube.com slash at Big Jay Oakeson. Them is out now.

Please go there, subscribe, like, comment, and hit the little bell up there so when his new special comes out, They, which is coming in a couple months, you'll be notified immediately. You go watch it then and spread the word about that. And check us out this Friday. Jay's headlining. I'm featuring at the Seneca Casino up there in Niagara Falls. Well, that's also on Saturday. Yes. You'll be headlining and I'll be middling.

You're middling. Yes. Not featuring, middling. And we'll be up there Friday and Saturday and having a blast, doing some tummy time, and maybe some more stuff. And we might just force Paco into sex slavery. Well, you gotta definitely do that.

Yeah. You should have me. You're doing tummy time already, you might as well. Might as well. What else are we doing up there? Let's have them dance on our backs. Do you guys gamble? You gamble, right? No, I don't gamble. Not at all, we couldn't get you to play a little Black Jack for a little bit.

Black Jack's the one where the odds are in your favor, right? No, that's Baccarat. That's the best odds. I would do craps more than Black Jack. Black Jack, dude, I can't read. You think I'm gonna count at a table next to your judgmental face? I don't know how craps goes.

I go 17, and you're like, dummy. What are you doing? You don't just say the word 17, you say hit or stay. Exactly, I don't need you next to me judging me. But craps, how about roulette? Let's do some roulette. Okay. How about, what number?

Wait, roulette, it's good, right? Roulette, you have good odds? Well, if you go, if you just go black roulette. Okay. How about what number? Wait, roulette, it's good, right? Roulette, you have good odds? Well, if you just go black or red. Okay. Go to Robert Kelly, punchup.com slash Robert Kelly. I feel like I'd be... Did you get it? Judgment night.

She didn't get it. Punchup.com slash Robert Kelly. Did you ever play the video? It went low to my phone to even send it to myself. We'll play it tomorrow. No, I wanna see it now! We can't. We gotta go. Well, you can show her on your phone. We gotta it play it tomorrow no I want to see it now yeah we

gotta go you could show her on your phone we gotta go Jacob's gotta go Jacob's freaking the fuck out everybody guys you guys are the best we'll see you guys watch about life slash Robert Kelly