The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Reptilians w/Ari Shaffir & Dan St Germain

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Ari Shaffir joins the show and then leaves abruptly for moral reasons. | Dan St. Germain is hanging out and gives the scoop on what it was like to write for The Roast Of Kevin Hart and which jokes he authored. Jay reveals his writing process by showing the notes he wrote for the roast. | An audience member wrote a negative Reddit post of the Legion of Skanks because they used a shock collar during the show she attended. | Crack Amico's latest diss track is fan-funded for him to slam Opie Hughes. | After Ari leaves, Jay lets Christine know about the disgusting act he performed in her home office. You can watch The End, Ari Shaffir's 7-part live storytelling show featuring major comedians, exclusively on the The End YMH Studios platform! The Burbs Bros podcast staring Dan St. Germain & Sean Donnelly is available anywhere you get your podcasts! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

fire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, we got a fun day today. Oh, what a fun day. We got a fun day today. We got a fun day today. We got a fun day today, motherfucker. Look at him. He's giving, he's giving Jacob a big hug. He's got a bun.

Give him a kiss. Two state solution. He's calling for it. Which way am I going? I'm going to. I'm going to. Sorry. Bobby. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Bobby.

I'm going to jump because then. Well, we'll have Dan here. I'm going to leave. And then you're not leaving. I'm sitting. I can't say with those fucking idiots. All right. Sit down.

What'd you say? You can't say with those guys. Why? I don't stand for what they stand for. Aliens. Fuck off. Aalian bullshit? Yeah.

Ari's like me. He doesn't believe either. I don't believe it. It's worse than that. Maybe I do believe, but I want it silenced. I have a theory that Ari is actually an alien. Oh. That's why you're so strong against it.

Because all the weird shit you do and the way you look and the thing, you have to, you didn't go eight months away. I'm faking it. You went back to you. your planet for eight months. Bobby, I'm going to talk to you after the show. Whoa. I got a device I want you to see.

I know you're a big gadget guy. I want you to look directly into this new device. Listen, dude, I, I don't know nothing. No, Bobby, it's happening. Forget everything you've heard. It is the bonfire. Faction Talk, series XM, 103. I'm Big J. O'Kerson.

Never the small one. Clock it pitch. That over there, freshening his fucking breath. With my new device. With this new nano-breath device. I put a new one in. It's grape. Yeah?

It should be some fucking grape. Already doesn't know how it works. I'm sitting in with us, everybody. Back from the jungles. He is here. Yeah. Suck it in. Oh, God.

What is this? We're all taking a whack, dude. It's fucking make your cigar breath fetter. Oh, suck it, bitch. Oh, my God, Jacob? Oh, it's grape. We're friendly like that. Oh, it's grape right there.

Yeah, it's great. It's not great. It's not great. I think it's doing something bad. No, it's not. Yeah, this is bad for you. Is it a vape? No, it's the new, it's a breath, a freshener thing for people who smoke weed or cigars or cigarettes,

and it shoots it, it vapes it into the back of your mouth and all over you both. That's where the bad comes from. Yeah. Yeah. I do want one. I'm going to get you one. Thank you. Done.

You know what I do? I'm a gift giver. You are. Yeah, my addiction isn't just for me, bro. Yeah, he needs to buy, but he already has it. That's the solution there. actually. I feel like something's wrong in the back of my throat. No, that's just your hypochondriac.

I feel it too. No, you don't. I feel for real. Yeah, it's like a burning. Yeah, it's called mint. It's called fresh. No, but it's like a dull pain. Yeah, because it goes in the back with the bacteria and with this bacteria, it kills it. I don't think it kills bacteria.

It's killing the shit in the back of your throat. It's just a smell spray, and it's making the back of my throat hurt a lot. Am I allergic to this? Actually, oh, that's gross. Sounds like you're finger banging somebody. Oh, my God. problem here. Something bad's happening. We have an EpiPen.

Hundreds of thousands of people are very upset right now. I can't help it. Yeah, you can. Did you try to kill two Jews? Oh, the water hurts my throat. It goes down smooth in a way I don't like... Yeah. It hurts. I know the way you like it. I know what you like. I hate this. He likes black smooth. Yeah.

We have to hear. We have Sean Donnelly also and Dan St. Germain coming in. I'm just finding out right now that's not the same person. Who? Shut on a looking, dancing, Jermaine.

You thought they were like a day night kind of thing? Yeah. Bruce Wayne Batman. Which one has gout today? Ian Fydance somehow. A whole time Ian Fidance has gout, which makes me like, how do you get gout?

I saw him and I was like, wait, the rich person of disease? He goes, no, what? No, he's not the rich person's disease. King's disease. I said that. And I go, he goes, no way. And then I went to the cellar.

I saw a vow there. And I was like, do you know about Ian? And she goes, yeah. I just told him it's the King's disease. And he said, and I saw him 10 minutes later. And I said the same thing I'm related. And he acted like, I've never heard of that before. That's a crazy thing to have said.

Yeah. He likes a fresh conversation. Maybe he likes to freshen it up. He does wipe the slate clean when he walks away from everybody. But it said you get it from eating too much organ meat. Really? Well, I've always heard it's just red meat and beer and shit. Yeah, people don't know when you have too much cock.

A salty cock, sure, probably also. give you gout i had gelt when i was around 18 for like two weeks this is the kind of stuff mpr won't tell you yeah they refuse thank you bob that's why i don't donate where's my tote bag they fuck this place where's my tote bag that i'd do a care this place um bobby you wanted to hear i said i saw with ar this morning we both have such soft hands no work on our parts whatsoever a pretty funny at uh crack amico did an opi of opi and anthony diss today oh yeah it's pretty good I just outgade Ari, which is an achievement. It's disgusting.

That's great. I feel proud of myself. I feel violated. Well, he just came back from countries where they kill the gays. They don't celebrate them, so he can't have it on him. He's got a demon in him. Do you want to hear the opi disc? Yeah, I told you before you said you wanted to hear it, but we had to start the show.

So this is not us saying anything about Opie. I don't know Opie like that. But this song did make me laugh. I just want to say this before you play it. I just like Crack Amico's. songs. Everything he does. Do you like the music? Everything he does. Everything he does is fucking great. He just happens to never attack us.

I mean, that's why I'm saying this. I would also laugh. This is how much of he did. If he made a song like making like a disc track of me, I'd laugh. My house is great. He's so good. What is this about? I get more honored by stuff I think than other people, people are like, yeah, well, it's kind of

shitting on you. I go, yeah, but he made the whole thing. Yeah. It was art. He took him like the whole thing. The beat would just be. Soter. Soter. Soder. Soder. Sore. Joe Manorice for a jet Joe Mattarreece for like a split second in time Joe Mattarice for a split second in time

Got it for me He was in his car doing one of those like Freaking out about that Red Bar guy going at him Yeah, and he was in his car talking And he just goes, you know what dude? I gotta say something That whatever guy No no who was the one who made all the

Bage frequency, base frequency maybe? Was it him maybe One of the two One of the two guys who the big dogs were, Elephant Great, one of them, he goes, I gotta say, this guy makes fantastic documentary. He made great, he made three parts of documentary about Joe Matarise

that are so concise and edited and narrated and the organization of the timeline. It's so... We bonded over them. Yeah, we had a real, that was a big summer for us. When we were up in summer, he would load one up. I'm like, never seen this before.

Wow. We did tummy time for hours in his room in Montreal. all just watching just tearing through the Joe Rader East files I couldn't wait to get done with my shows just to get back to tummy time and watch the Joe Matterers files we had so much left I go Bobby this is just half of part one there's three full parts yeah one I'm burning it was like coming next Monday and I was like CalPard I was like how you're feeling goes I don't know I mean you can't stop it but it was actually pretty respectful was a red red was it red bar no that's a different one red bar is the guy is the guy's the guys who make the document red bar just goes at us like in like video clips and everything he does go at all of us. He went at me one time. When I was doing the in the shed thing, remember doing the pandemic? Yeah, the shed. Live from the shed. He, uh, he went, he went back. He went, and you shed pounds. Wow, that was a good one. Pound. That was a compliment too. Double meeting on a compliment. Yeah, he'd tag me, but it was, you can't help it laugh because he's saying, he's stated

in the obvious of all the horseship behind me that I had up, all these stupid trinkets that I had behind me. He's, what the fuck is that? Why would you have that? And it's like, yeah, you're right. You make a valid point. Wow Black Lou were out to go get Dan St. Germain and then he mysteriously vanished. You think it's aliens? Yeah, maybe it's, maybe it's Ari.

Yeah, Sean's here. He's waiting for Dan. St. Germain? Yeah. He's in the lobby right here. But both of them, orange. Will you stop that? Huh?

Somebody went to take a Duke? Is it for me to say? I don't know. You think he went to get barbecue? You think of somebody? One would go to a local barbecue? People at his joint. So Dan St. Germain would take a Duke or Black Lou took a duke?

No, Lou didn't. It's not my place to say what people are doing. Black Lou had to take a poop. No, it's not Lou. Filming over the thing and they get banned from serious. He was waiting for Dan. And I think now, Sean. Speaking about getting Dan from Sirius, let's play this clip.

Yeah, the Opie song. What's the setup? I don't know. We were talking about Crack and Rico. And then I, Opie, he said he had one of Opie and I'd never seen it. So I want to see it. Crack and Miko we've had on the show before. He makes like the, not parody.

songs, but like the... This raps. This raps. About our world. Is it a Jew thing, or is it... What? Always having a bag of chips? Just you're going to make noise? Yeah, for sure. It's definitely Jewish.

I'm not leaving anything alone. Leave it alone. Do what you want. Jim came out in the closet. Ant started burning crosses. What's crazy is the ant can drive a Shelby bite a hoe. Dropping in. Fuck a teen still somehow be more likable. More likable than you at least.

Plus, he's not who this. song about. The fans ain't you so much that I got pay for what's coming up out of my mouth. Would have never done this on my own dime for your old crimes. Look at you now. From a hot model to a slap body from a shock jockey to a low cow. And I would have thought by now that maybe you'd mellow out. Barking at mics at like five in the morning I think it's time to put the soul yellow down. Had an obsession with being number one and radio wanted all of that power. If everybody call him opi, I'm gonna call him wrong Howard. Why the fuck is comedian up in your bio? Gotta be a mistake sign. You could never even take a joke brother man, let alone make one.

What the F? Who the man? Not you, man. Millionaire ticket, super chats just to ring out remnants of his only fans. A 69 your old man with a purple mouth. Greg still got them sugar titty. Sweetie, pull them nerples out. Only Jesus knows what's happening behind them walls.

Probably got that doggy looking peanut butter off his bulls. Open up your soul and take it. He exats. It repeats the chorus. He's so good. He implies in the song that he was paid to make that by people who don't like opi. Wow, yeah, he does. I wonder if that's true.

I think he says it. It's implicit. You know what? I think he's, I see I'm saying the word implied out said that he was paid to do it. Has he ever made an album, like a regular album? This was a fan-funded disc track. Yeah, a fan gave him $10 and he did it. Yeah, he's so good.

Has he ever made an album? Yes. Like a real rap? Yes. It's always, I think. It's all his real rap. I know that. Because Crack and Miko was, like, formed through.

real-ass podcast, I think. Yeah, he's cracking me. I don't know. I think he did do something where it wasn't just making jokes about the comics, but he's great. Yeah, that's really good.

Fucking good. He did it going about Trump we watched too. Yeah. It's like, stop tripping on Trump. But it's like the jokes, the jokes making fun of how bad it is. Yeah.

He got mushrooms legalists. Yeah. So he's like, all right, he rams a hiccup, but we got mushrooms. Yeah. He goes, yeah, you're getting married to Benjamin and Natanjahoo. But don't.

But don't always get mushrooms during the ceremony. He's like the homoists are everywhere and the ice problems. But he goes, listen. He's about to get back on the horse. He goes, what? He had a couple of flubb? He had a couple of missteps? Couple slubs, yeah.

He just keeps giving it up for him. He's like, come on, man. He's giving me a chance. We got mushrooms. He's going to turn it around. We have mushrooms now. What was the last one we watch of Chelsea Hamlet? That one was good, too.

He made a Chelsea one? Yeah, he was really good. He threw D.O. in for a second, too. The thing he did with D.L. stuff was awesome. Is that, like, for his little chunky, about DL, every other word is DL, DL, D, L, yeah. Pretty neat. He's good.

He's real good. Hi, Liv. Where's he from, Philly? No, North Carolina. Yeah, like tennis. Some trash. What? You just fart? No, you want me to? Nope. Then I won't. That's my game. That's my game. Thank you. That's my thing. Think one last, clean whiff. Christine, you should know that Ari was in your office today.

Christine, you shouldn't know. But actually, Christine, you shouldn't know. It's better than you don't know. It is better you don't know. It was filmed. What? It was filmed. Then you'll see nothing out of sort.

Nothing on tour. He started texting Alex to, hey, take that little section out if you don't mind. I'm not some ne'er-do-will. What's your touch? Guys, you're all being cads to me right now. He didn't touch anything he wasn't supposed to touch, I promise. So funny, when ours at your house, you really do have to get nervous where he is in the house. Remember I left a bottle, a glass of piss in your fridge?

Yeah. Oh, my God. My wife and child go into that fridge. I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess so. Max loves lemonade, too. Now we find that he loves piss. Well, well, well, one of the boys. What's up, buddy?

Fresh off the roast, writing for everyone except Big J. Eaukerson. He refused to take everything I gave him. He said he's not taking jokes from whites or blacks. We have Dan St. Germain joining the show. Hey, guys. What's up, buddy? How are you? Bobby? You're great. Holy shit. Thank you, pal.

Appreciate it. God damn. You've got to get tighter sweaters because I thought you were bigger. Titer sweaters? Titer sweaters. I thought you had more room because you were hiding something. I am still hiding stuff. That's why I didn't get the tighter sweater. Then you'd see it. He's hiding his cheapness. He doesn't want to throw out a sweater, throw off holes in them. I always keep a fat wardrobe just in case.

Just a cape. Yeah, I have a fat suit in my closet just in case. And it's coming handy over the years, to be honest with you. Dan's coming off of, yes, writing for the Kevin Hart roast, where I got to say I saw Naeem Lynn, first person who gave me from the dais that said anything about me at all. The very end of his, he did a breakfast club. Did you see that?

No, what did he say? It's gone pretty viral, I think. It's just him going on there, and he goes, yeah, you know, they were only showing the writers at one point for Shane. That's like Shane's writers only. And Naim was just like, no, no, I talk to all the writers over Netflix. All white. Was he joking?

No. It's not true. But they were talking about it. He said that Chris Spencer and then play the thing. Play the Naimed on the Breakfast Club clip. He says that Chris Spencer and then were Kev's writers and that people can bring in their own writers. But they said Netflix staff writers was all white. I don't think that's true.

I hope it is. Wasn't he? I mean, I know two black writers that were there. I know Ian Edwards and I forget the other guy I'm blanking on the name his first time. I meant. Chris Spencer. Yeah. But I thought Ian was part of the show.

But Ian hasn't manners, so it doesn't come off as black. That's one way to look at it. Is Lou laughing? Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, Chuck. How's a good one, dude? That's crazy.

But they were like, each person can bring in their own writers if they want. Right. And there's the Netflix fighters. And then the very, I mean, there's this much left. There's a smidge left of clip. And he goes, he's like, I think, he goes, me and Big J. Ogerson, the own ones that write our own jokes. I was like, yes.

And it just goes to blank. I'm like, ooh, there's no reason to leave that in clip. Little Kevin mentioned you too on Breakfast Club. We didn't. Yeah, he didn't. You were like, I can't believe you said this about the writers. And he gives you one compliment. And you're like, yeah, forget it.

Don't worry. He mentioned your name. No, he did. Yeah, he did. Yep. Yeah, he did. I bet a $100 on it. How about you $100?

Okay. Shake. I don't, I can't reach. I know, that's why I want you to do it. I'll shake. We'll do it. We'll do an emotional shake. We'll do a salute.

There we go. Emotion, $100. Yeah. What do you say? Mention your name. I didn't say, he didn't say you were great. Ouch. I said, Big Jay O'Connor's that.

I mean, listen. I said he mentioned your name. He said he mentioned. There was a bunch of useless white motherfuckers up there. Big J. Honie. Shane. Yeah, because he was giving the list.

He said this one, that one. Then at another point he said, Big J. Ocasin. He said your name, which I thought was cool. That would be the first time since the roast. You didn't say at the end of the roast at all. Actually, the first time since, I think 2018

It's very possible. First time you're... No, I did say I realized that after the Rose was over, I was like, oh, at the end, when he was going around, whose phone is going nuts? Not mine. It was Donnelly calling, because I guess he's in the hallway. I don't know.

Or not, I don't know. He's lost in the hallway. Do you have his number, right, Alu? Okay, cool. They'll let him know if he checks in, too. Should you call him Edna Loo? No, Edna Loo is, uh... That's like a Huck Finn character.

Old Edna Loo. Making molasses. I can't believe, by the way, that this roast thing is still a story. This is pretty much the last thing. Three and a half weeks. Who did, who wrote Scrapemore Shrimp than Benihana? I think that was Mullen, but it could have been J.P. That's a good one.

Yeah, it was Mullen or Jee. It wasn't me. White. I don't think. I don't think. Can you say what joke of yours? It was the best that got the most, the most product? I remember the one I word on Jay was the he's in the Epstein Files for actual pizza.

That was mine. And I did the, I didn't do the fat fucking flute bitch, but I did the, uh, Lizzo looks like the final boss of a red lobster video game. That was mine. That was,

Shane's like Shane's personality in that one. He goes, you fucking fat, and then I did all the gay, all the, the whole gay section too. But yeah, it was, it was a blast.

Everybody killed it, I thought. Yeah. Honestly, everybody killed it. That's the bummer of like, besides like the thing teeing off. Yeah, we go, what right is going to take you on?

responsible responsibility for Taona Taylor. Yeah. Yeah, I got one joke in there, too, but I don't talk about that one. That's what I mean. This white supremacist writer, the other two jokes I got in were for the two black women on the day. So I guess I'm not doing the white nationalist thing right. You're doing it totally wrong in terms. I'm doing it wrong, I guess.

Good. Well, yeah, back it up a little tiny bit. Because he said at one point he was like, he said he had extra jokes and that they said the writers could use them if they wanted to put him in the pool or something? something? Let's see. You had your own but as far as the Netflix writers? It was just, I thought they were executives.

They're like, you know, this is... That's racist. That must make it. That's actually racist. I agree with them on the first thing is they should have paid him if they wanted his jokes. For sure. You know, like, now they got a budget. Yeah. But...

Were you on the Zoom with him? Niam could also beat the fuck out of me, so I'm not going to talk shit. He's like a legit comic who can fight. Were you on the Zoom call with him? No. I wasn't there. I was only there the last week in the room.

I was on the one with the rock and the rock during it. Like when we're pitching him, he's like doing the people's elbow stuff and he's like feeling his goosebumps like during the reading. It's crazy. Really? Yeah. What a Lou phony.

He's literally going like this. And then there's all these executives. We love that for you, Dwayne. We love it. Oh my God. This is amazing. Goosebumps. Is he wearing a sack of potatoes?

It's a very stylish shirt There's nothing on it It's a dress shirt It matches his sneakers I wrote my own shit Me and Big Jay I think are probably the only people That wrote their whole set

And that's it There you go Nice Thank you Naim There's a prudal film Has there been about this Frickin Roast man Thank you Naim

Thank you Naim Thank you Naim Lynn At Naim the Star On social media Thank you Naim was that looked on in the room was anybody in the room like shitty about that about what that me and naeem didn't want to use the

absolutely not yeah they didn't care no I mean like the funniest your jokes were fantastic I remember the balloon thing but the way Jay wrote him it was like it was a schizophrenic shopping list when I first saw it I'm like these can't be good because no one right and then I was like

this is the zodiac like it literally was like there was like circles in the middle and scratches But they were all good. Once you analyzed him, you're like put a hyperglyphics together. You're like, oh, wow, he's a genius. He's just making us work for it. You get some from the FBI to analyze it.

Yeah, it was John Douglas. I could send you this. I can send you this picture. He sent that into people. It was crazy. I was like, can you not read? Oh, my God, these are great. Well, it's weird that every comic has a different way of writing down jokes.

Yeah. Like, if you look at a comet's notes. Brodies was the best. Brodies was just like 246, John Crook. you'd be like what? Middlebury High School The Eagles

Russ Meneve used to just draw characters of the bit and you're like What does that mean? He goes Oh that's a bit about a girl Are you serious?

That was not a joke? Yeah Rushmaneeves Set list was fucking chaotic Drawings? Yeah, drawings on his set list

I had to do this They were like You have to send something in And I was like Yeah but it's all just Like thoughts I have now So I just wrote it As I said

I think it says We'll see in a second And I think he goes, Cheryl Underwood is black as question mark. I'll figure it out. Yeah, I remember we were laughing about that. There was like the last two were just mad libs. It's like, she's so fat, she's... I'll figure my angle at some point.

That's a Philly thing, though. Keith never write shit down. I don't know any guy from Philly that has a notepad. Yeah, but Keith notoriously went up on stage and ate shit trying to wing it. He ate shit, but he did take a napkin out with something written on at the end. Really? And that bombed, too. What roasted he bombed?

Patrice O'Neill's roast. At the Boston Comedy Club. It was brutal, huh? He's like, I wrote something, and he pulled a napkin from the cellar out of his pocket. And then I don't know what it was, but he read it and it just went boo. It was fucking bombed. The best is, I've seen it where a guy's crumbles the list up and he throws it and back, and then the three jokes don't work, and he runs back and he grabs the list and unraps it.

Oh, my God. I thought there were more circles and things going on. I love that you gave it a fancy type. though, you're so cool. Nikki Glazer is in here because it's hurt, weak, it's handler's weak with a substance. Exclamation point.

Yeah. Substance. This looks like an Epstein file drop. Yeah, absolutely. Their mouths. It says, the thing that says, Chelsea Anler 50 cents, pumpkin spice, corn chips,

Lechazel, etc. Yeah. Tony Hinchcliff, teeth. Too many, too few. Regular. I said that. I don't think you said that. No, I didn't say it.

Yeah, regular mouth looks like the alien's little mouth. We need stables. We need stables up here. What does that say in highlighted right above on that line right there? What does that say? A Chelsea Handler had sex with 50 cent in Joe Coy, but I wanted to, hey, Sean. Hi. I wanted to make sure I was thinking needed more wording to specify that Joe Coy was Asian to just make sure.

Yeah. So I. He is sort of. So for the, what do you call that, like the way it hits the years, you know, It sounded better with a little bit of a new iteration. Now, but famous rapper and Asian American comedian versus 50 cent in Joe Coy. Give them both a little description.

What does that bold thing say? What is the bold writing above there? Those two words in bold. Frank Lizar? It was his famous rapper. Frank Lizarre? Frank Lizarre? What? Right there. Frank above? Yeah, Bobby. I don't know how many times I can tell you the same exact thing. It's not going to change. It's famous rapper. You don't have to yell at me, though. But you're saying

no. Frank Lizar and I'm like, Nope. What you're looking at is the words famous rapper? Oh, famous. Well, he said Frank Lazar. Okay, I'm sorry. Jay, it's the way you say it. You let Ari lead me lead you into something that was insane. He didn't respect you when he said you were right. He could have been more like caring. You could have been a little more caring about it. That's all. You could have respected me more what I told you. He goes, well, you're seeing as famous rapper and Asian comedians. You said it to him like 10 times. Yes, so many times.

He just was going, no, you don't understand, Jay. You're stupid. Yeah, you were saying I was stupid. Who's Frank Lazar? Well, then I'll say, I'm sorry to you, Jay. I'm sorry, too. Hang on. Ari, Ari, sorry. Let this go down. We've got to fix this. I'm also sorry. I love you so much. It says famous rapper

and Asian American comedian. Everybody joining the show. Do we need counseling, guys? No, no. The other half of the Burbs Bros is here. It's Sean Donnelly. Yes. You can check him and Dan out.

Patreon.com slash Burbs Bros. Where they get into it. Fuck this government, they say. They're lying to us. They look like two guys that would be into aliens too. We're rebranding the podcast. They're lying to us is a great name.

They're lying to us. Great. Oh, yeah. We also have a panic room. We have a couple other ideas. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's a... Cheryl Underwooders as black as something.

And then I'm going to say that she makes Kevin Hart look like Shaggy. Or a white midget. You can see the point where he gives up. When he crosses out, like, the punchline, it's like, he blew his load on the Chelsea and pot-air balloon. And then he's like, I'll get back. You guys, I'll get back to it. Put that. the Draymond Green and hers so but they had to bring them in to color correct the cameras

when did you finally when did you finally get it all done that week yeah yeah we go yeah we gov yeah I mean I had like pretty ironed out like the weekend before and then week up because we I hung out the night before Ari and Lewis came over and I wasn't like like like like panicking over the set or anything I was like it's there it's yeah we watch you go see that supposedly on five hundred dollars I think you send it in Friday yeah I also made Lewis is now Louis J. Gomez,

I want to say that loud as people know, is into me right now for $2,500? He's into me for $400. You think,

you think he's into you for only $2,500? No, I mean, not great that he's running your guys' business.

That's awesome. Why don't you get a, why don't you get a forensic, get a forensic account and find it what the real number is. Is he playing Cilo?

What's going on? Well, no, what he did was. You mean the guy, the guy was working B clubs, driving an Audi? They just play a house

For how much this guy With a pool For how terrible this guy is at gambling It's amazing how he somehow Sitting up money right now Substantially So we, the night before the roast Ari and Lewis came over

We were just going to chill Watch the UFC Kind of get my mind off of Anything so We're watching the fights Kim Kongdon and Alex From Gas Digital come over To watch the fights

And Lewis starts making fights On a fight that really was supposed to go one way. Hosmot's supposed to beat Sean Strickland for the belt. Big upset. No, like, it was supposed to be like, it was no problem. So Lewis goes, I'll give you guys the odds, basically.

$100. You guys put up $100 each against me, I'll $500. So if I lose, I'll give you guys $500. If you'll give you $100, I go, sure. Let's do that. Then he did that with Alex and Kim Cognan, and they were like, they were so excited. Like, all right, sure. He goes, I don't trust

you, ladies. So Venmo me, you're $100 now. Like, actually, like, you're buying to know the early part. He's going to ante up for a fight bet? Because he has, I don't trust you'll pay me if you lose. If I lose, I'll pay you this $500 plus $100,000. Yeah, you get back. You get $600 back.

All right. So, and I, you know, Ardena. Not all right. He gets cleaned out that night. Obviously, Sean Strickland wins. He owes Alex, Kim, 600 each. He owes me and Ari 500 each. then

Kim knows Lewis enough as a fellow Puerto Rican that get up his ass right away for it

so she got her money right away Alex's employee who has a child and struggles I believe that's an out-of-work husband

that's like rent for the month he is still every week on Skank's since which has been several he goes

oh shit we always we have to be reminded to tell him as like hey dude you have to

you have actually currently have her $100. At least give that back. Yeah. You're sitting on a hundred she gave you on a whim. And he only realized it when he brings up this intern who still owes him $500. He goes, the guy still won't pay me back. And then he realized who he's talking to him.

And he goes, ah, shit. So Monday. So Monday. Body brain coffee and creamer. It's more like a poor American juice snake. Monday after the show, we were doing one of our ad reads. And I did the call to action. I'm not drunk

I'm not anything and when they did it at the end of the ad read Lewis goes dude you gotta do the call to action say 40% off for the ad read

and I went I did but I'll do it again if you want to make sure he's like no you didn't say it I go no I said it

but I'll do it again is no problem he goes you definitely didn't say it then Ari started getting them all hyped up but I didn't say it Lewis he didn't say it

he goes in double or nothing for me on the entire bet I go absolutely and he goes now do you You didn't say it.

I go, why do you think I'm forgetting, it happened 20 seconds ago? Anytime. And I read it and said it. All you have to do, whatever side are he's on, they're wrong. That's all you're going to do. Whatever side are you?

No, he didn't say, he did say it. I did say it. He goes, I said it before. I was like, oh, before. I might be wrong. Yeah. It's too late. That was already made.

And then they took them 30 minutes to load up the episode so we can have a playback in the room. Oh, my God. And we sat there so Lewis can find out that he was crushed and now owes me, I think, $1,500. Jesus.

He's just the mush from Brownstale. He's so much more Irish than Puerto Rican at this point. Like, the Irish is totally... He's like, 15% Puerto Rican. He's like, just give me a chance. I know I can get it back. Doubt more nothing. I'm like, why would you take a bet on something?

I'm assuring you I've done seconds ago. He wanted to chasing the action. Yeah. He loves it, dude. He gets fucking hot for that heat. I hope gambling is his new thing. She has to sell us body brain to make money And then we own it and then it hits

That's when you start getting the phone calls Like he goes hey man So it's doing pretty good Any chance you want to buy in the body brain or something That's what my Trying to give out money here My brother got in trouble He got in legal trouble for selling

When he was on drugs He sold lifetime memberships to a gym Yeah My parents started a gym him for like a year and he ran it and he was and then when he needed money he goes you can get a lifetime membership right now

for like 150 bucks forever and people would be like yeah everyone said yes to that and just did it and then they're like there's no fucking such thing as a lifetime membership 150 bucks for a lifetime it was crazy or like 300 but whatever it was

it was 400 bucks it was wild it was something it was substantially everyone would take that deal yes that's like the guy from Conant I don't remember back of the day Continental didn't have a thing they're like $2,000, you fly always forever. You fly for free the rest of your life, like

on a Continental. And the guy bought it, it was like $2,000 to $5,000. Flights were like $99 back then. Whatever it was. Cross country, so it was like $2,500, forever. And he built him for like, I don't know, $2 or $3 million dollars worth of flights. And they had to cut him off. He was like

65 and they just cut him off of the flights. Yeah, so it's like, that's enough. That's enough. Yeah, we didn't mean this much. Yeah, we didn't mean this many flights. Has anybody ever film? themselves getting to the point of like anything that's supposed to be like endless where you're like well there's got to be some like footnotes somewhere in a contract that says eventually we have to close the building sizzler sir you can't be at this buffet anymore me and patrice shut down a sushi place in Vegas all you can't eat lady came up she goes we ordered more and they went no you have to finish you have to finish one on your plate now we're like that's not a rule she's like you can't get more unless that plate empty and we're like you just made that up well you're the reason now you know what they do now at those places This is actually a pretty smart move. The all you can be sushi places.

There was one by us and the thing. Order whatever you want. Keep going. You're going to pay for what's left on your plate back to them. Oh, really? Oh, way. Yeah. So you're shoving your mouth and throw up in front of the restaurant.

Do it. Do it. Chips of that. Yeah, I think if it's minorly digested, that should count. Also, Bobby and Patrice just recreated a John Panette bit. Isn't that like his famous bit? It was like, no, no more. You need that?

Yeah, I was really. I've never seen Patrice that man I think you called her an Asian bitch He's like, you're Asian bitch It's not a rule It said all you can eat You have to have a level Guys I gotta be honest with you

Asians is my line I don't like it You're out here I'm not gonna say okay Oh that's it Oh my God that's it I think I already scared Wow

I saw that coming I just think he's scared of these two guys Because you're a fucking alien I saw that coming That's it I saw that coming Christine. Ari's a reptilian. Ari's a reptilian. It's proof.

Undo his little thing in the back. I bet he has an eye there, a month. That is the craziest hair's done. Ari Shafir, little known fact, hates Asian hate. It drives him fucking nuts. And I've seen him do this before. This is not uncommon. How was Asian hate last four? That was like three weeks? Three weeks, yeah.

And then they were like, ah, they're doing fine. They're doing pretty good. on top of Black Lives Matters. Black Lives Matter was like a season. On top of the pandemic. Then Steve Byrne put a new special and they were like, man, you know what? It's all right.

It's all right. Sean, if you want to switch that to over there and Jacob can come sit back and then. Tell me what it smells like over there with that man by. Ayahuasca. Oh, Christine, do you want to know what already did this morning? Yeah. He was wearing just a bathing suit, like a speedo bathing suit. And he was in Christine's office using her,

computer and camera and microphone to do Skanks episode with us and at one point he thought it was funny to get up and I mean he put his butt cheeks on the microphone and just cracked I mean you know what his ass looks like so

something comes out with every fart Oh Jesus And I don't mean like something like shit Like I mean like body Dude the fucking podcast is becoming saw Yeah You guys have collars on people's neck Ari's just shitting and drugging people

You need to need the new co-host has to be jigsaw. It has to be the head. It's like puppet coming on a bicycle. The fucking last night. Did you see this Bobby yet? No. Oh, can I send this to you? The Reddit thing.

This is so fantastic. So last night. Did something come out on my microphone? Yeah, it came out. When he farced, stuff comes out. I mean, like you'd have to assume. I bet you there's a bone chip with blood on it on your microphone. I'm switching out the mic.

You might want to switch out the mic. But I told him to open the window and everything. But you might want to do that thing. There's a thing in our house where you can open all the windows in the house and push a button, and it sucks everything up to the attic. Oh, the big fan. Yeah. Yeah, those are great.

So we probably suck the ARI out of the house if we get a chance to. That would be pretty great. There's a stop from these headphones being sweaty. That was like, he had like three different bad hairstyles. Like he didn't land on one. There was like a man. There was a LeBron receding thing. And then there was like an Amish thing going on.

I think it's right here, Jay. This picture they pulled a... It's hilarious. Look at a tar. You have the Reddit thing? I think it's right here. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So let me build this up first before I read it to you.

Sure. This is fantastic. So we're doing the internal Olympics right now. And last night, we thought it would be funny. He goes, oh, we'll have them do a talent show, the remaining people. We have to eliminate people every week. And they're all good, they're good spirit, a good game. And we tell them we're going to do a shock collar talent show.

And so they do their talent while they're getting shock collar, you know, give them a set. And, you know, it was a set. And, you know, it was a set. was we were doing more and more, especially if like, you know, versus girls versus guys, you're going a little harder on the guys and stuff. But, I mean,

all within reason of everybody agreeing to it. Everybody signed everything. And then the last girl who was going to go, was only one girl in the contest. So fucked up, you have to sign something to do a podcast. I'm going to get shot collar for sure. But she also,

we say the thing is like everybody can go, yeah, dude, I'm just not doing it. All right. Yeah. It's fine. But she had, she had, you're not going to, disqualified.

You're not going to win this round for. for sure. You're not going to be welcome at Skankfest. But if it makes sense... I can make that money to pay back Lewis J. Gomez. If it makes sense, there's always like a thing you could have done. If you're like, I'm not doing it, but I'll do that, you know,

make another offer of what you will. It doesn't matter. It's all a comedy show. It means nothing. So this girl came up and she's got a big, like a scarred at her chest. So she's had clearly a heart problem. And we pointed out of it. out right away and she goes yeah I don't think I can do it and then the joke for the next half hour is like

are we gonna do it we're looking up if it's okay to do it is it okay how long has it been what's your particular heart thing is this gonna affect the other device in your chest this chick also by the way is a loop so it's like she probably would have done it quite honestly you should let us do it but like no one's doing it at all yeah yeah and I think where it got ultimately was Ian Fidance like took it for her

like he took the shot and he was gonna get it you know every time we were going to zap her, but he took one zap, and he was like, fuck that, dude, no fucking way. Be good if it cured his gout. But this is great. I thought that's the only way it can come. He cured his gout. But you're going to love this,

because this might be a troll in so many ways, because you're going to hear how ridiculous this gets. By the way, spelling, recounting everything. This was two nights ago. If you can go back to it, yeah. I watched Legion of Skanks literally torture people with shock collars last night. I have never been a Reddit, girly,

but I watched someone almost fucking die last night. So here goes, L.O.L. I watched Legion of Skanks at the Stand in New York City last night, and I genuinely cannot stop thinking about how fucked up it was. I've been a fan of Big J since, like, 2015, when that Apple TV special came out. I don't know what she means by that. And I watched some of this.

The Stan put out a special of your own Apple TV. You didn't know that? Yeah, they probably... Especially, you're reading an Apple. Are you to know about that special? That's my favorite special. And they go, I watch some of his podcast when I'm at work, L.O.L. The other two, I don't know that well, but I knew the two guests, Ian Fine Danxie and Dave Attele.

I even went to Skankfest back in 2021 in Houston, which was sick. And I saw Ian and Dave when they came through Houston, too. So yeah, I've been following these guys for a while. But tonight, what the fuck? Now, it's crazy about all of that. You don't know Lewis and Ari are. You came to Skank Fest? Yeah, yeah.

That's insane. What the fuck? To say that, and then spelling her name, that's why I said it could be a bit of a troll. It's a true. Yeah. But they go, it could have been Chris Catan fans. Also, it could be that aloof girl thing, which is like, I don't know who these other guys are. Maybe.

Have you seen him lately? He has like an AIDS stomach now. It's tough. Well, this is great. He's got National Geographic stomach. Oh, yeah. He does. He has Pygmy Tribe Chief's stomach. Dude.

He's never been constantly. Contacted by society. Yeah. It's Amazon rainforests on the car. It is fucking crazy looking. How he looks. He has a cone on his dick. And he's got a young, he's got a young kind of hot wife or girlfriend.

Yeah, she's smoking, man. He brings him around. And then he just does bits with people, but like, you could tell he's like, he had to memorize the lines and just says, I saw him today do a thing where you stay next to a guy and the guy's like, like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, I saw that. He's like, he's like, he's like, I'm taller than you. He goes, he goes, only like, he goes, maybe like, fine. I think he talks like he's like he's turning into like I think he's turning into a child I thought now to be fair I thought he did a great job playing piano alongside Dr. Moreau I thought he was really wonderful also it seems like the wife's put like forcing to do all those

oh yeah I don't know what fucking he looks like he's cursed to turn to a like a doll or a toy or something the funny thing yeah I think his head is locked in the front position because when he turns he has to turn his whole head with his body He can't turn just his head. Watching him on stage, now, I bet, is a bummer. If you watch him do comedy on stage. I mean, it's got to be, I mean, he walks like, it's crazy looking. He's like, he got palsy or something.

He looks like Ed Sullivan. I was just in the lobby with Hugh Jackman. This is the opposite of that. You would think, like, that Hugh Jackman is 25, and he's 400 years old. He's masking. They're probably six years apart. They're probably six years apart.

And Luke Jackman's older. Go back to the Reddit thing. I'd say this is great. Chris could get it. They held the shock button down on one guy for like 15 full minutes straight. You would kill somebody. You'd kill somebody. Well, you'd actually just get used to it.

Maybe. You're actually right. Wait, did you guys? I don't know. No. Yeah, we do have to ask that question. No, we didn't. It was brutal.

But then, okay, this is where it gets actually insane. The last girl tells them that she has a heart condition and that this could literally kill her. Could literally kill her. Hill, her. And they put the shock collar on her anyway. And Lewis is sitting there laughing like a maniac. Ian and Atelli are literally saying, are literally saying, no.

They're saying, no, don't fucking do that over and over. Even the people working the show in the back are telling them not to do it. And they do it anyway? We walked out when that collar went on her neck. Most of the audience walked out by then, honestly, too. I don't know what happened after. I assume she didn't die because it's not in the news, but what the fuck? I'm not someone who gets offended by comedy.

I came in there ready to laugh at dark shit. I don't care about edgy jokes at all, but this wasn't comedy. This was just watching people force someone with a medical condition, and there's something that could actually hurt her while everyone watches. I'm still thinking about that girl and hope she's okay. What the fuck, man? I will say, not the craziest take. Not the crazy thing, but it's also just like it's where everybody left.

It's like, do you audience never love? The audience is there well into the commercials. Oh, shit, he's back. He's back. I just want to say this, too. If you think Indians don't count as Asians, that's wrong. That's also part of it. So I don't know what you said while is gone,

but if it's going to Indians, also no. Oh, Jesus Christ. With his fucking world musician haircut. Ah, you forgot something to stupid. Would you forget your arm roaming the earth's fucking essential? Would you forget your yoga pat and your tea? He just immediately puts on black face as he leaves the students. His spaceship's in the bag.

He does look like he's going to appear over a hazy ridge. Like where it looks like there's fluid going through him, but it's just the heat. You know he was at the train and he went, shit. I forgot my bag. He thought about the Indian line 20 minutes ago. It's so funny. Can you see where it's going for itself and you didn't see Lewis through comedy? That's, there you go.

Was that you that wrote that? Who wrote that? I don't know, but the comments are funny. It's true. This has to be totally fake. That's a troll. That's a troll. Because you didn't even, you didn't do this.

This didn't happen. She's like making stuff up. Yeah, this is just all made up. Nobody left. Oh, no, no. We zapped. You didn't zap the girl. But not for 15 minutes.

No, you could do it for a condition didn't get, she's making it out like you guys did something crazy that didn't happen. There may be nothing funer than watching somebody do open mic comedy, though, while getting fucking zotts every couple seconds. Actually, I think they should do it. All of a mic should have that. Buddy, it was so funny. He was so funny.

He was doing good too. He was doing really good, but it was just like, he goes, and then she stands me up in the t-th-th-th-th-th-think. And then, like, you know, it's good because, like, so I called her again, and it looked at the thing. He went out, and it was just like, you'd see their face. You just got him a new kink. It's so fucking funny.

Get the Zots. That should be a show at Skagfest. Just, oh, my God. The electric caller comedy show. Absolutely. You give the fans the actual button. Just the fact that they say, they say, you're torturing people. It goes, I mean, there's like meetings about this.

They make it seem like we're like, everyone down and fucking lick our boots. It's so funny. A meeting with Ari, Lewis, and Jay is a, we had a meeting about this. We really shuffled this around. You want full disclosure? It's the biggest I told you so in Legion of Skanks and History for me. We had a meeting two weeks ago for this one. I think it's how we ended up at this maybe now.

It was from two weeks ago. But on our meeting, they were like, I think they wanted to get done the meeting quick because they were like, here's the idea. He goes, I think it's funny. We eliminate half of them right away. We just have them fight at the stand. Like, you know, boxing, like headgear, boxing gloves, and fight.

And I go, sounds hilarious. And they go, well, there's a girl. You go, there's a girl and a trans. We see if that works out. Now I think it's hilarious again. But while I'm thinking this is hilarious and wonderful, I'm going, We can't do this to stand.

They're not going to let us do that. And it's like, well, does it have them fight behind us? Well, how about on the stage? I go, none of these things are going to work. And they go, outside, I go, outside now we're talking. And it's like, so we'll do the show outside. And then while there's a show, you know, then we'll kind of like, you know, kind of ask for forgiveness instead of permission, you know, when you're already out there.

Right, you already did it. But, you know, the club's got to know. Now, maybe we won't tell. All right, then we will tell the club. But Lewis's thing is, so this is, again, it's a quality I don't have in this. I'm like, but they're not going to let you do this. And he goes, here's what we'll do. Half the show downstairs, the stand.

After a half hour, a half hour of the show downstairs, then everyone goes upstairs, and we set the cameras up upstairs, and then we do the thing outside. I go, the stand's not going to let you bring the entire audience out of a room after one round of drink. This is a crazy, they're not going to have a blacklist book a half hour show. And he goes, and the whole thing was just like, they will. I'm going to call Harari.

These guys, they're going to do what we say. we're Legion of Skanks. And then Sunday had to be like, guys, we got to pivot. Guys, we can't call it Legion of Skanks anymore. It's the biggest I told you so in history, I go, they go, that's good. So we're going to do, we'll talk for half an hour,

and then the fights, that'll be the whole show. We're good to go, we're out of here. I go, I don't think that's a full show, guys. I don't think we're going to be able to do the fights. He go, let me talk to them. And then it's always like, Joe Harari said, no way, it's impossible. Talk to Patrick.

And then he's like, just heard back from Patrick. He said, check what Chris, the legal sounds like a, not going to work out at all. Chris said no possible way in hell. We have to pivot to electric callers. It wasn't even. It was like that was like the holding water

until their arms dropped thing. It was like we didn't have much of a pivot because it was like, yeah. We put all of our fucking all of our bank and having them fist fight walk an entire club. Hey, let's not draw attention by everyone leaving a show walking by the other show

to go past a bar of people waiting for the next show to go outside and fight. I'm so glad I'm. I'm not starting comedy right now. I don't think he was would. Because I would definitely be attracted to this show and want to be a part of it. And I'd be like, ah, fuck.

All the time to do is just hang around and just wait for somebody not to show up. Now it's like, dude, put this on. You got a heart condition? Think about it. I'll tell you what I wouldn't have survived in comedy for sure is that, like, how young in comedy people want to get on like a Kill Tony platform. Oh, that's bad. And what's even more would have hit me more, like, I don't know how.

how I would have handled like getting popular so young like three years in the comedy or something. I could imagine getting popular but more than that my person if I if that was like I was said it about Kevin Hart when he got a sitcom and it was canceled before it aired and he just keeps going. I was like that's always him to me I would have been like that was everything I had that's the sitcom I wrote that was my idea like I guess I'm not made my shot my shot I'm not made for this so yeah I would have like if I would kill Tony and they everyone just made fun of me and shit on me and it was like a bad said I choked I'd be devastated I don't think I could have gone on again I'm just known as that guy now with thought.

There is always the other way of just doing stand-up until you get good enough to headline. Fuck you, Bobby. I know, I know, it's the old-fashioned way. Why would you don't? Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But you're only as much as you're, but you're only going to be as motivated

as the opportunities that are available at the time. So probably all the two young things for me were like caring about, like, should I get on Letterman at three years in or something or whatever, kind of like half hour special way too early and hoping about for that stuff. there wasn't a thing of every night you can put up your set and clips. There was like a ladder.

You could do all the stuff that got you to the point where you were like experience enough to be. We did have the table though. You did have to rub the gauntlet of that fucking nightmare. That was like street fight in the trenches type scenario. They got you better at stand-up. And then show business-wise, it was what he's talking about. I used to be up at night.

Like, do I look good? Is this okay? I have to go do a spot at the cellar. Last time I had to throw my whole outfit out. When I first started there I asked for mashed potatoes And they gave me four pounds of I remember that

And I had a black and red rugby shirt on And this kid made fun of me for fucking 45 minutes straight Yeah it was the funny I mean A mountain of mountains Seeing that face Only eat potatoes How do you not

He should have been the potato guy All the potatoes? Yeah dude Oh if Donald did Potato performance art It would be him Gallagher but with a potato he's slapping a spoon into potatoes

but it's true you got your I got shit on constantly and that's just kind of a ride of passage and now you go to the cellar table and it's like the table in Animal House where they put all the nerds that they don't want the frat

it is weird I feel like every time we go to the cellar where I was like the table that I would think you just go back and sit at I feel like me and Bobby are interrupting young black people talking about young black people things and we just sit on

something like this we go that feels good to take the day off my legs interrupting progress you know what I try to make it mean it's like what I don't see Natterman's banged off into a corner you can boiled chicken off menu

it's insane it's insane what's going on Norton's at a side table by himself it's like weird now it's fucking weird can you fix Sean's arm chair arms because it's crazy what's happening over there that one's got to come all the way up no

oh sorry hi guys stop eating those criss cataned him just catan that guy I'm on Wagovi that is so fun with Chris Katanio he goes like did you get into like a did a plane door open while you were on it like why are you fucking compressed

why are you that dude from he man ram man that's exactly what I was thinking of and he just popped up and he just popped up His stomach is just bloated. It's weird.

Because he was a good-looking guy. He was a little thin guy for Oss and L, energetic running around. Maybe all those, when he was doing that, what was that monkey bit where he'd jump on the tape. Corky, was that? Mango, mango, that was Mango. Maybe Mango fucked up his back. Mango, yeah, and then probably oxy-cotton, but mango, too. Mango, too.

Well, I think he did. Yeah, he did a, he got a neck injury, like, from S-A-S-A-E-Cod. else sketch. Jesus Christ. And what was it from? I hope he got money from that shit. He got a painkiller addiction, which fucked his whole career.

He's called an aging wrestler body. Yeah. I'm sorry, dude. I didn't want to trust. What was the thing? No, I got him. No, it's all fixed. I got him.

What's the thing that... What's the thing that... He broke his neck and a golden girl sketch? It's alcohol, too. He does have that alcoholic stomach. Yeah, well, he was a problem. When I did that show Z-Rock, his show, like, Bollywood Hero, I think it was called, that he did, was on IFC, and we were, like, co-promoting the shows everywhere. And he was always like, hey, we're doing a big photo shoot for doing a thing for a billboard or something.

He's two and a half hours late. All right, we're going to do a bunch without him. And then he ended up not showing up at all, like that kind of shit. Dude, there's crazy road stories about him. Some guy, I know, opened up for him, and they would drive him around the whole weekend. He was like he was just trying to get pills and all this stuff, whatever it was. and he said the last day he was there he was supposed to pick him off the airport to go to the airport

and he wasn't at his hotel he just wasn't there and the guy was like I'll just go home and then he I guess he had his number and he was like hey man thanks so much I'm back in LA he's like I have your wallet and your keys from your hotel room how did you get back to LA

and he's like I just got back don't worry about it that is weird being let down by somebody who's like you see as a higher up I never worked at a white enough club where I was picking up up like a mainstream headline or anywhere that you know I would have gotten like a you know Pablo Francisco being like hey can you get me coke like that would have bummed me the fuck out for sure you know

I mean seeing that like side of someone like that I got bummed out with uh Gilbert godfrey I got to drive the middler to the show yeah and it was at the uh a kuik uh no the hoogielau that's Chinese restaurant and I was so excited that there's Gilbert godfrey I'm like oh this is great he ordered $100 worth of Chinese food didn't eat it, went on stage, walked every bomb for 50 minutes

and didn't even acknowledge the bombing. Walked off stage and took the 100, didn't even open it. I thought I was going to get some food. Took the bag and took it in the car back to a hotel room without a fridge and he was leaving the next day. I was like, what the fuck is

that? It's so depressing. I mean more of a let down. I had a celebrity let down pretty early. I was saying I won a thing. And part of my prize was a night or two at the Hudson Hotel, which I don't even know if it exists anymore. So I'm on 57th.

It was really a minimalist, but like nice, fancy, but like tiny rooms, or least the one they gave me. But just going down to, like, the hotel lobby, I met Leif Garrett and the actor Bill Nunn, Radio Rahim from school days. No way. And who's been in a zillion things. He was in the Spider-A-May movies stuff. And he didn't do the right thing, I think, too, right?

Yeah, absolutely. That's where he's radio, he's, right, yeah. So he's, um, he was there, and then they came to my show. I was talking about my show, they came to my show at Carolines. And then we went back to the hotel bar and we're playing pool. I'm not really drinking at all. Bill Nunn gets fucking obliterated. And like, me and some other stranger had to, like, put him in his room in his bed.

And I was so young in comedy still that I was like, I was like, I just met a celebrity. And then you're like, oh, God, he's a real person who has a real problem. Yeah, Bill Nunn. He did a bunch of stuff that day. He's a good actor. Is he that? Sister act. He did pass away, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He did pass away, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in not lethal weapon. He's in one of those. He's in one of the 90s. Yeah. Oh, he did die. Oh, wow. 2016.

Mo better blues. He's a thousand things. I got fucking hammered after the Rick Flare roast, and I ended up blacking out in the hallway, and I woke up, and I just saw this guy's speedo in front of me. And it was a wrestler, do you need some help? thank you and he like brought me back to my grave I was like

I was draped over like 11 and stranger things so depressing you're like did that happen? I knew because I got three texts from that guy. We're going to take a break we've got a great show for you we're going to get into the same

we're going to make Jay believe right fellows The Burbs Bros are here Dan St. Germain and Sean Donnelly They have a Patreon. Patreon.com slash Burbs Bros. Make sure you check them out and check out their YouTube page. Make sure you check out Ari Sheffir's new storytelling show

The End. It's out now. Order now, Ari Sheffir.com. Make sure you get it. It's really funny. We'll be right back. I'm in Spokane's weekend. Where are you? I'm going to the mountains with Ari and Max and Joe Russell. Oh, so many farts coming your way. We might not make it back. Yeah. Do you know there's nothing out in primitive camping that's going to be able to patch up the wound that is Ari's asshole?

I have an asshole filter.