The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Riot Girl Face

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

Sometimes people go wild at graduation and perform spontaneous fun dances. | Jacob read The Godfather book and Jay is amazed because he can't stand the movie. | Bobby references his sexy actress friend and Jay picks her apart. Jacob likes a woman with "Riot Girl Face" and creates a new term. | Bob likes to kiss his wife's belly and calls her up to see how she feels about it. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Man, Black Lou just was forced to witness the whitest thing he's ever been a part of. And he's been on a boat. Is that the whitest thing? Yeah, yeah. I mean voluntarily. Yes. Being on a boat involuntarily is a very black thing.

That is a, that may be the blackest thing there ever was. That's blacker than rap. I'm just saying, is that the way. You know what I mean? Forced boat rides is blacker than rap. You heard it here first. That's the most woke thing I've ever said. A forced.

A forced boat ride is blacker than rap. Yeah, black person never wants to be like, get on that boat. Oh, absolutely. If anyone's sex trafficked in a thing, you just go, damn it, dude, this must be what black people felt like. It's so funny, too, because you see all the carnival cruises, and they're all the, you know, all the black people and it's all black people.

Yeah. I wonder if they would have done that on the ships. Just line danced? Like, I wonder if the coming over here, I would like, this is going to be great. I know. They should have really, if they just acted blacker getting on the boat, they probably would have been like,

you know, guys, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's rethink this. You know what? At some point, we want to hear own voices or something, you know what I mean? Or, uh, we might be able to hear ourselves talk. I don't know, man. They're all over the place, and their butts are so big.

It's making me uncomfortable. What's up with all the fans? Also, are you guys checking out these dudes pecks? Because I'm starting to feel like if they decide to change their minds and not let us do this, it's going to go bad. Just keep them dancing and fucking. They'll be fine. Maybe, I can't say that. I was going to say something.

Wow, I'm glad I caught myself on that one. Good for you. Thanks. That's a big stuff. There's an entire industry of black fatigue videos that I almost watch. exclusively now on YouTube. It's black people talking about it. Yeah, black people review black fatigue.

But like acknowledging they feel it. Yes. Oh, yeah. There's no white people doing it. You can't watch the white ones because that's just the Ku Klux case. That's yeah. A white person talking about black fatigue is just a racist person. I never heart those ones.

I only heart the ones where it's a black person. Yeah, and not a white black person either. It's a black guy going these motherfuckers. And what's whatever like subject of the day is. A lot of boats. Carnival Cruise. A lot of boats. I just watch one.

There's two guys. They're two twin brothers. Mm-hmm. I mean brothers, like literally brothers. Yeah. But then they always review, do black fatigue videos. Oh, really? And the latest one was a woman who wouldn't stop eating chips in the Uber car.

And the Uber driver said, can you please stop eating chips? I don't want to have to. I paid for this ride. And then it became a whole thing. and they reviewed that one. I think I saw one where they were reviewing and I saw the actual video. It got, I think it went pretty viral.

It's the black girl. It's at college. And there's like the doofy, I mean, in fairness too. Just a doofy white kid. Just being standing by himself holding a Charlie Kirk, whatever sign. And it's like, and then this black chick, though, keeps screaming. I mean, she's, you know, not 100% of the time, but she starts screaming at points and flipping out and yelling shit at everybody.

in the circle and then at one point while he's filming her she goes he's like you're being like crazy like you're acting crazy and aggressive goes oh I'm crazy and aggressive now because I'm black just like come on man you can't act crazy and aggressive and then say it's because no it's because you were acting crazy and aggressive I saw the one where they uh they showed a regular graduation there's a black dude he's like you know man and then they showed the all black girl uh college graduation goes nuts right and they just fucking lose it It just turns into a carnival cruise and they're just twerking

and they all have fans and they're booty popping and they throw the shit everywhere and it's it looks either fun. We all did her homework. Terrifying. Did you ever see?

There's cops in the background just standing there like there's nothing we're going to do about this. Not nothing at all. Well, you can't get involved as car you look like a bad cop getting involved. Hey, hey, stop enjoying your graduation that much. Christine, can you bring up Gary Owen

Owen, uh, black graduation. A joke, it's really. So this is one of the ones that first ever said, I go, son of a bitch. Son of a bitch is funny as hell. He is funny. I like that guy. Gary Ellen?

Yeah, he's pretty funny. He's funny. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it really, he really chose the path of, like, I'll be the white guy in black comedy. Yeah. I wish I could have an, like, I have an Boston accent,

but I wish I could have that little. Fake black accent? Yeah, just a little bit like, you can. Like, yo, man, like check it out. Now, I'm telling you. you right now. I'm telling you, you ever get marshmallows? Oh, geez, this is it? I would love to have a little tiny, just a twinge of little black slang. Just, you know, when I went up, like, yo, what's up, fuckers? How are you all doing? I. Start it. I. I just want to go, I.

Start out. At 54, begin. 55, you asshole. Fifty-five, sort of black scent. Black scent? Is that what's called black scent? Yeah. Is this the one you were talking about? That's it right there. This, by the way would be terrifying I think this is scary it's terrifying for the one white family in that school is it an all-girls school it's an all-girls school it's an all-black school I don't know

watch the cops in the background they're just standing against the wall for dear life and they have the fans that's the thing right they don't want you on the fucking cruise ships with yeah they got the fan dance I don't think the cops are scared of these girls no but it's like they're just dancing around with fans

the good thing about this is that most of these girls around 30 seconds in are so heavy they get tired and have to stop it will end oh because of childhood obesity none of these chicks

are in shape is that your message on obesity in the urban community it's so funny that at the end they all have to go find their shoes

and hats and diplomas yeah you're through my shit can you believe that yeah it's crazy they're having a good time yeah they're having a good time

it's just a different it's just culturally what are you going to say Jacob actually, before you probably corrected you, you're having a good time. Well, I only glanced at it the first time, so I thought it was like destruction, but there's nothing going on. Jacob, you'd get right in the middle of that and dance with him. Of course. Now that I'm looking at it, I want to be there. It does look like the opening of every bonfire.

It looks awesome. I do think Jacob Battott requires a black wife. I don't know why I feel that way, but I felt that way for a long time. Is this soul high? I don't know. I want to be there. Is this the movie Soul High starring Kevin Hart? Did Kevin Hart produce this? It's very tribal. Okay.

All right, Bobby. You're walking the line. Bobby, Bobby, just know. Let me tell you something. I want you to feel like I'm family with you, okay? Know that right now. I've stopped myself from saying 15 different jokes about something high, and I settled on soul high. Was it the funniest thing in my head?

Look at me. Look at me. Was it the funniest thing in my head? It was the eighth funniest thing in my head. But it was the only thing that will not have me called back to the carpet at serious x-em for a sixth time i apologize i you know what i mean not in a bad way though sure no let's just let's just pretend it didn't happen okay let's go i walked but just no but just no eight of them in my head you could watch roll back the tape i go no oh and then one of them i was

like i think it's okay and i looked over at black lou and i could just feel black loo's soul do give me like the no dude and I was like yeah he saw me looking at the black girls dancing and I looked over a black loo and he went don't's not worth it and he's right he's right they're having a great time just that part right there is awesome looking

they're having a great time and I want to be free like that and I bet the school I bet the school is super safe did you say you want to be free like that to not care like to to just dance okay all right yeah like I don't care who's watching me this is

yeah you do this in your apartment this is in a high school graduation this is from elocution school Jake you're at a wedding yeah but everyone else is cutting loose you're right I could tell you though there's a point some of these women though if they came charging up at me dancing like that I would like remember like when

when slimer hit Dan Aykroyd I'd go ah! I'd like scream until she got to me I go oh god she's doing something crazy I love this actually yeah yeah I'm sure I'm surprised somebody didn't have different music to this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It should be the music of Zamunda. Remember the big dance they did in the beginning? One of those. There was me doing the handlebars for motorcycle. Oh, my God, you're very close. Somebody should do a, somebody should superimpose fire on the floor. That'd be funny. Floor is lava.

man black people can't even get a school with a floor ain't lava i got two more but i'm not gonna say good but you know what do that that's fine always let me know he goes dude i got one in the pocket that would just have us this show off air uh so you always tell you because it makes you feel good that's almost like getting it out bobby yeah have you guys seen the black prom reveals i don't know if i could handle it right now are you okay are you set are you reset i'm good Okay, let's do it. This is like an endurance test. I'm going to show you black people acting fucking crazy.

Can you be funny and walk the line? I'm doing my best. Okay. What is it? This is a prom? Yeah. This is prom. Oh, shit.

Wow. That's a lot of money. Is that a real watching thing? That's a guy on a red carpet in front of his house. Oh, God, it's his house. But it's in the hood. I thought that was the school. No, they all gather to see the outfit reveals.

It's in his hood. It's not a bad, I don't know if it's a bad neighborhood. It's not a great neighborhood. But he has a red carpet with stanchions and thousands of dollars in cash. You know, let me take a peek at the sidewalks here. I'll tell you, this is... Not bad. No, that has the front gates.

That doesn't mean anything. Chain gates in the front yard? Yeah, but the lawn is mowed. I grew up in a nice neighborhood. Good guy's chinkies are not next neighbor. It looks like Taka Taka says I can smell this vid. What the fuck does that mean?

It looks like Nurochelle. Yeah. It looks like new rock. So it's, I mean, it's houses. It's not apartments. It's an. There's a garage. Okay neighborhood.

Yeah. No boarding up windows. Black Lou, would you move there? Not a chance. Okay, so it's a bad neighborhood. Okay. Yeah, this is all black proms. Man, I just say, you know, get a better place before you red carpet and hold up.

I mean, that cash he was holding in his hand, if it's not a prop, could fix all of their problems. He's like, nah, man, but these shoes, right? There's a lot of black guys doing black fatigue videos. Yeah, bring up some of those. It was one guy who... I don't hear black people who are sick of with black people. The two brothers I saw. It was like three guys on one.

They do, I think I do a bunch of them too. And they're like, they really just watch things just shake their head to go, look at her go. Look at her running her loud black ass mouth. You're like, guys. The one I just saw, there was another girl, the identical twin, they're jacked. They're two jacked brothers. And they were watching this woman who got pulled over in her driveway. And she said, you can't pull me over.

I'm in my driveway. And the brothers, the one guy, he cried. crack me up because she thinks like if you robbed a bank and you made it to your house, you're done. You're good. You made it. But she had a... I just sent you one, Christine. This one was crazy. This guy, if you didn't know it was a black guy, you'd be like, this is the fucking leader of the Ku Klux Klan. He's just fucking... He's angry of black people. He's angry of black people. He was talking about... But is this also like a... And I wonder. I'm saying this is another like thing where people

figure out how to like get views so he's just overplaying a thing or does it seem like this guy does not enjoy the company of black people i just think that it's just um culturally i mean it's just culture differences you know what i mean it's different music different barbecues different you know it's all it's and you know white people white people are very just quiet people you know what i mean it's just a quiet people it's like when we used to go to patrice's barbecue that was uh at at around six o'clock when it was all black dudes it got you know louder he would send vaughn out

in something where you can see her nipples and then it would make the white people uncomfortable enough to leave yeah we'd all leave as soon as Nate left we were like it's time for us to go yeah he's our white gauge yeah my I went to my barbecue you had face painting and magicians it was over by six

everybody had ben and jerrys you went to Patrice's and Vaughn's titties were hanging out at some point yeah you might get brought in some swinging There was another barbecue across the way in the driveway that you might have to fight at some point. You had to traverse a shark tank and giant statues of giraffes. But he said a weird house. He did a giraffe statue?

Yeah. A statue. He made one room very African-y. Yep. I actually got him an African mask. Did you? Yeah, I got him a nice African mask for the present. Well, that was what happened.

He lived with Will Silvance until he lived on his own at this house. So he decorated the house as if Will Sylvan still lived there. Will really did that. Yeah, we should have a chalk tank. Yeah. And I also, I'd like to point out the craziness of white people now, too. Because, Bob, you sent me, you sent an article. I think Alec Baldwin crashed his car into a tree.

Yeah. There's a video of his wife. And solidarity to hilaria being kicked off unceremoniously. Yeah, there's a compilation of her crying in at least six. interviews about his accident no about her getting kicked off dancing with the really it's banana she's crazy oh please play those my friend elaine hendricks still in the mix is she yeah you're still watching she just sent me a text to go vote for right now or whatever which i do every week i vote for elaine she texted you to ask that yeah she well she texted

the the sex and drugs um here we go look it right here she texted me. I'm in it. Absolutely. I'm in it. Absolutely you are. Yeah. But it doesn't say Bobby.

It says Bobby right there. Up at the top. It says you're one of the people that it goes to. Yeah, there's a cast, five people. Mm-hmm. And Bobino is in there. Right. So is Dennis Larry.

Mm-hmm. Go on. John Corbord. And. She really wanted them to vote for her. You're right. You're right. She really wanted, what's her name to vote for her?

I forget, I just call it Gigi from the show. What's her name? God damn. The one from Nickelodeon. On Clegghorn? No. Remember that wide-eyed crazy chick? The one from Nickelodeon.

Amanda Binds? Nope. Dan Schneider. Elizabeth? No. Not Dan Schneider. No, she was on that show. with the other girl

Oh What's her name? Jody Sweeten Gilles Elizabeth Gillies No idea She was huge She was on

She was massive on Nickelodeon Bobby You have your glasses on Because I don't have mine What does that say On the screen right there? That says what have No I'm kidding

I'm kidding I'm kidding Let's him have him explain it She's ugly She's beautiful She's not dancing Are you crazy? Do you think she's ugly?

No. Oh, sorry. She's funny to say that she's ugly. I can't tell you what's wrong with her, though. I can't tell you what's wrong with her. Mouth's too small. All right, go ahead, let me see. Let's pick her apart.

Her mouth is. She's got a great body. Let me see. Great body. That cleavaging touching, which tells me they're fakes or they're pushed up mushy's. Pushed up mushyes? What else? Yeah.

Cunt eyebrows. What? And her mouth too little. Wait, wait a minute. Go back. What eyebrows? Cunt eyebrows. Why are they contact?

Because she's happy in this picture and she looks like she's fucking laughing at my little dick. I don't like her and I'm gonna tell her you should be happy it's little so it'll fucking fit in your entire teeny mouth.

I hate her. Is she in that text thread? Let her know I hate her. It's a condescending face. It's a really condescending face. You like that. She picked the condescending condescending face.

But I said. Pick a better photo of her. There you go. She looks pretty condescending in all of them. with every single photo she looks like a bitch and a twat asshole she's a pig she's like she's like are you are you she's are there any more people coming to this party she sings uh she sings old crooner songs with uh that's easy the guy from um oh there she is yeah there she is she's annoying everybody

she's got gray cans though maybe oh look at her being a cunt to walton goggins all of a sudden the dimple show up and she has to turn it on for people she doesn't take a it's so funny with these people i hate her when we took a photo and this happened with dain too like people who are famous famous she took she would take my phone and she downloaded an app and then would readjust things like the lighting and the face and then like you can you can set you can do that one that's what this five head did she's my friend jay this one here what do you mean a five head what do i mean a five head I mean do you remember when you wanted to get that phone that little phone that had a projector screen on it yeah you if you were sitting at a lounge across from her in a delta

lounge yeah you could have project on our forehead and watched things about the size oh there you go what about that con face she's got to have one photo where she's not con face nope I haven't seen one yet who's the guy family guy Seth McFarland she sings with him oh god They do, like, big shows together. Jesus Christ. Where he sings, you know, like... I mean, he's responsible for, like, my favorite TV show ever. Yeah, her and him sing that.

And yet, I don't know if we'd get along at all. You wouldn't. Me and Seth McFarley? You wouldn't. No. Cruning blows. I've said it a thousand times. I'm a fan.

But why? Because you can do it. Well, I grew up with it. My stepdad, Larry, used to play it all the time. And used to sing it himself also? Well, at their wedding, they had the... Anybody? No, he had a crooner band come, and he sang with him.

Why not? He probably sounded like he probably could have realized that point. He could have fired the singer and just done it himself the whole time. That's why the lady is a tramp. You're trying too hard. Why? Talk it more. All right.

That's why the lady is a tramp. Yep. Yeah. You say either. I say either. You say neither. And I say... is that good

hang on bobby christine that's not true that's not real fantastic work fantastic work what do you mean it's not real it's not real that's not real that's not her naked it's probably not no wait what's this from

fapening fapening what is this I don't want to see this this is my friend then look away I have to look away her face still looks cunty and I'm looking at her box

that's not her that can't be her let me look at the fingers I mean now it's not her look how fat those fucking hands look. Those are my hands. As AI. God, if don't look like that.

What? I'm sorry, did I say that out loud? What? That's not her. Is any of this her, though? How about that one where she's riding a cock where it's going inside of her actually? Can't be her. You think that's real?

That's not her. Let's just check it to make sure. No, it's not her. Christine, you're an ass. Why not? No, it's her ass. That's not a Christine's ass. That's a Puerto Rican's ass.

If Christine's ass look like that. Oh, my God. You said it. Damn, dude, what a slut She's a fucking fat forehead Pig slut I don't know No, they can't

She's a talentless These two look like they could be real What would it be? Look at her fat little hands It's not real There you go What about the titty's in the thing I can't look at this

This is my friend Her fingers are smaller And they're real pictures Yeah No that's not her These are giant sausage hands Yeah those are like Her hands are fucking crazy looking

I mean different hands She has pretty big hands No no no not big Go back. They're like monster hand. That's not real. They just didn't do the AI good there. Okay.

Go back to it and see what you're trying to describe is she has big hands. Those are the hands they sewed onto the Frankenstein monster. Yeah. They're like little pig hooves. They look at Ralph Sutton hands. Yeah. Look at her right hand. It's crazy looking.

You create. This is a Mel Gibson fans. It's not her Look her thumbs all like whack it No that's crazy Yeah look at her big fat finger It is not her No that's not her

Now that's definitely her for sure She's a fucking such a pig Let me ask you a question What Go on What is that from? Yes a thousand times over I'd work really hard too

What is that from Her tit? Yeah Pick big titty celebrity Seleb Elizabeth Giles Nude got leaked It's leaked nude I mean

I mean she has great tits either way Fantastic Might as well I mean those are real And her nipples are small enough to fit in her teeny mouth She didn't have a smile Her face God damn dude smile bitch

I'm gonna tell her that If I met her that's what I would say first Hey smile beautiful They love that right She actually has a Fucked up sense of humor Really? You guys would get along famously

Oh well good news I don't know if you saw that other picture but apparently she has fuck the black guy, so we have plenty to talk about from stage. She's married to the music director from all those shows from Nickelodeon. Dan Schneider? No, the guy who did all the music.

All those songs that they sing on all those, the guy who writes them. So that's why her face is so sour. Her husband was a foot-loving pedophile. No, he's not a pedophile. He's the guy who wrote the music. Yeah. No, they're all pedophiles over there.

No, he wasn't. No, dude, they're all part of the fucking Schneider Pussy Posse, dude. You know what? They did meet on set, and she was, I think she was 15. They have a foot-shaped pool? She was 15 when they made on set? No, I don't know. I don't know the deal.

I'm just saying, I don't think so. No, you know the deal completely. There she is right there. To the right. That's the show she was on the show with. Victoria Justice. Victoria. Victoria.

No, she was on. She was the twat on that. She was the twat on that show. Of course, dude. Look at her cunt face. Little do we know she'd grow up to be a slut with little fucking freaky hand show me her snatch on the internet she lives near me really yeah she moved right down and right down the street then when you see her

prove that thing where you can show a movie on her head do you want to let's have her on absolutely and then we can play all this stuff i'll tell her this to her fucking face you will not think i know you won't i know his stupid husband he's gonna catch some heat too everybody no he's not he's a nerdy musician guy fucking musician bring him in i'm gonna french kiss him in front of her i'm gonna take her man I've never seen a bad picture of. I don't think you could even take her. I don't think she's pretty.

I would take Elizabeth over her. What? Yes. 100%. Victoria Justice. No way, dude. Because I'll tell you right now, look at that, dude. She became a pretty woman.

What a thumb. That other one. She had Victoria Justice. No, she didn't. Victoria Justice also does have a picture spreading her gas open in a sink. No. No. No.

No. Yeah. A yana. Yeah. I don't want to say it. Victoria Justice is very pretty. You want to go, though? She's not pretty name.

Chin's too small, top of the head's too big. She looks like a fucking alien drawing. You want more? Wash your pussy in the sink. You want more? You want more? She has HPV, and she's got it bad. You get the picture of her pussy, please?

Is there really? There's no way. Look how exciting I just got. I mean, I don't know. Victoria Justice's faffeting. Someone just found his weekend. Slamming your meat to this one picture of her spreading gash over. There it is.

A naked picture of her. Wait, that's not true. It is true. It is not real. Yes, it is. Look at the riot girl face she's made. Let me see. The what?

The what? Riot girl face. What is a riot girl face? It's like bad girl. Oh my God. I've never heard a term before my life. You have a name for it? The face?

The riot girl face? That's gross. You don't agree I mean no I don't know with Riot Girl I don't know either I just heard it I didn't make up the term

Yeah you did No I didn't You have a bunch I guarantee you have a notebook For the terms for faces Look up what riot girl face means Also Christine And Christine

Nobody wants to see her fucking face Go down to her gash Over the fucking sink please I don't want to look at a riot girl face Now zoom in on the thing Stop and stall

It's fantastic Uh oh you got whacked She just got a virus Wacked off No, I didn't. Can you, uh... Relax, everyone. Zoom in.

It is. Okay. What sink is she on, by the way? Why, you want to go smell it? That's a sink? Uh, it looks like it's a bathroom sink she's over, yeah. It's a bathroom sink. Now, here's the problem with this.

What? I, it's, I don't know. Flawless? No, not flawless. Flawless? No. Why is it open? It's blurry, but it's pretty good.

Listen. You want to start picking her apart? Yes, I do. Go back to that. Pussy Christine, please? If you wouldn't mind? Save it for later. The Fappanist.

I don't know, it looks like a Venus flytrap. Correct. It's already a little bit open. Ugh. It's really like, it looks like it's taken a beating. Like, recently, discoloration on both sides, and the discoloration is not even. She should have a little bush, because you could see the skin above it, and it looks like all down her legs up and down. She's having a little bit of skin issues.

Yeah. This grows in that perfect skin the way you're hoping. for Jacob so I would say that pussy flappier lip on one side than the other a real pullback it looks like a long clit I'm gonna give it a B minus yeah I agree her her clitoris looked like pink eye it was a long clitoris a lot of hood pulling back to get to that bad boy and it's open why is it open why is it and when you look it legs are like Yeah, but it should still be closed. Like a lady.

Yeah, like a lady. It should have a, and it looks like a little hole that's open, like a little tiny mouse hole. Yeah, it's like dangerous. I worry about the things getting involved in there. Yeah, stuff could get in there. Be a lady. Be a lady.

And her calves. Look how weak. She's got little flabby calves. Yeah. And then, Christine, if you could, please, zoom in again, please. Do you want to appreciate it? Be the pussy. I mean, for a.

a blurry I just took this no lighting or anything that's pretty damn good really you should have saw that and took another one and tried to close that up absolutely pinch of clothes and you know what I don't have a pinch of clothes I'm seeing discoloration down by the asshole

I don't know what's happening here but like it's a it's a it's an it's an not symmetrical pussy a lot of hair and she's shaved gives her asshole like a face. She has a lot of hair normally, and that's why that discoloration's there

because she's just taking off a layer of dermis constantly. Yeah. I know I like... Hairy assholes. Oh, sorry. No. I don't like that. I don't like hair.

I love punk face and hairy assholes. That was your thing. But do you like bear if it looks like it has a black eye? You like Joe Rogan 5 o'clock shadow asshole? Yeah. Her pussy has the outline of asshole. Yeah, yeah. She's got brown outside of pussy.

I think it looks okay from here. Riot face. Read that? What does that say? Riot face is not a recognized or common term for girl. I didn't say riot girl face. Riot girl face. I didn't say.

You said a face. Riot girl. I applied face. Yeah, that means you said it. I did. Riot girl face. I love that he still can't admit it. I did it.

I said, I admit it. Well, because riot girl is going to give back something. Yes. She was latching on. that of course i don't like the opening why is there an opening you know what maybe this is i'll accept this could i tell you something she moves to a bee uh if she won grows a little hair on that thing that thing needs a little hair a little bit and if you tell me this was at the very end of you taking a pissing video i'll allow it i would say shitting christine i say if you took a

full shit and a piss you'll allow this i'll allow it it's a bee yeah i It's a B pussy. If that's your post-shit piss pussy, that's a B. Can I ask a woman's opinion? What grade do you give it, Christine? B. Oh, wow, she's honest. She's tough.

Tough. A, a B's good. It's pretty good. It's not a C. I mean, A's, like, great. Like, A's, like, a really... Phenomenal. Nice one.

So, B's good. It's not a, you know... Christine, bring a perfect pussies. What happens when you Google that? Yeah. Perfect pussy, and then bring up Rosie O'Donnell's snatch. Yeah. And we'll go the exact other way.

And then you'll have... And then you'll have your gray area. She doesn't have... You don't think Rosie has a... You don't think Rosie has a snap picture? Oh, you doubt that dike hard. That'd be great to see that. See, this girl's like shaved with puffy lips.

I don't agree. Wait, that's one of them's fake, first of all. This is all AI. That's all AI. I love that AI. Uh, Christine, put it with Bush. With Bush. Ooh.

Ooh, it's the little Feed Me Seymour pussy. Yeah, these are two. It's childish. Little bush, not a lot. With small bush. Small bush. You can't put, that's just nuts. That looks like my aunt.

Perfect. Now we're cooking with gas. No, some of these aren't listening. Not that. No, no, no, no, no. Not a lazy bush. Stop, you're freaking out Lou. That's crazy.

That's not a perfect pussy. No, that's not a perfect push. It looks like bubble gum. No, these are not perfect Pussies That's not bad What's that one? I remember David's...

What is that? David Spade said it should look like a paper cut. No. So did... What's his face? And it was not like an old joke? I think it should look like a hamburger Or from the Simpsons.

None of these are perfect pussies. Homer. Homer Simpson's mouth. That's what a pussy should look like. That's just nuts. I think she, Jay, can I say something? Sure. I think she did just pee into a sink.

Is that a little dribble coming out? No, I think that's design on the wall. Also, you'll notice that the, on the wall, that the, there's a light fixture missing. Not a light fixture, a light switch missing. There's in the middle of a bit of renovation. And here's the thing. I don't like a little pimple on her ankle. You see that little pimple on her ankle?

I saw the ingrown hair that she. I saw the pimple. I saw the red, which means she wears uncomfortable shoes. She's got some birth marks. and I said just the skin in general looks like it's not a good I don't know it's like the hue is off

she's got a yellowish to her yeah again this is Victoria Justice Victoria Justice yeah at legal age stunning yeah legal age stunning by the way

not during the show stunning girl yeah fantastic drop dead gorgeous yeah be rated pussy chin's too small top of her head's too big

you heard it here first that's not bad that's a good pussy that's a good one I like the butt The butt looks like it's, it might be fake, dude. I think that's AI. There's no butthole.

Perfect, trimmed pussy. That's a pretty... There's no butthole. There's no asshole. That's fake. She does have an asshole. No, no asshole, dude. There's no asshole, dude. There's no stink wrinkle. No, there isn't. Look again.

God, you're full of hate. I'm not full of hate. Look. It's just like a little... Yeah, she just has a little... That's right there. Zoom in. I didn't see it. Let me see. Right there.

It's like not open at all. though. It's like a sewn shut. It's not sewn shut. It's how an asshole looks that hasn't been blast. Listen, she has the perfect pussy. Do you think it's because she's letting everyone blast her asshole apart? Maybe she was in trouble and her father sewed her asshole shut. I would say

that's a pretty good example of like a perfect looking pussy. Can I say one thing though? The hair I wish she let the hair grow out a little bit more on the sides. More? It's just a little like a little

It looks like a little five o'clock shadowy. I don't like a five o'clock shadowy. It's a Harlem fade. They taper it from the bottom. Blacklow, you tell Bobby this stuff. He doesn't get it. No, no, no. That's good.

That's the way you want it. Because you're going to, the part that is shaved on this, and we'll put this out. The part that is shaved on this is all the fun licking parts. But no, I like to lick the sides, too. No, you can. shaved. I don't want the little hair, little five o'clock shadow on the side. Wait, you want it shaved more. No, I like the top V, and when it comes down to the clit, and then the sides shaved. Bear. Well, the sides, but I like the top. Most people, most women, I believe, if they have a bush, even, will do the sides almost always.

But that little amount like that right there, I'm fine with because the shape looks good. That looks like a Wednesday. You know what I mean? Sure. Like. But the shape is good of that. I like the rectangle. I like that. And I think it will close up nice and then open up like a flower. I like Victoria Justice is better.

No way. Well, you look what's attached to it better. What about that one? Right there, the middle, the hamburger. The Homer Simpson face, up. That big beafer. Oh, yeah, right there, that hamburger. That's a hamburger.

Oh, my God. No, that's a bubble gum. Yeah, that's all. Oh, get the cock off. Oh, my God. The inside of our pussies on the outside. Yeah, that one right there. Perfect hairy vagina. That's not perfect. That's so beefy. Yeah, it looks like somebody punched it and it's swelled up a little bit.

Yeah. It's disturbing looking. That's not it. That's not it. That's not it. Just keep it right there. There it is. Huh. I don't know. Looks like a little bum on the outside. Doesn't it look like a little bum? Yeah. Looks like a bum above a bum. If you saw that,

And it's all of it's like attached to everything. It would be fine. You'd be fine with that. But just up close, you're like, you have a hump on your pussy. It does. It looks like a sand monster from Dune. It looks like the side of a peach. A peach is nice.

Now, but. Yes. A vagina is just a dick and balls that separates and becomes a vagina at some point. I was hoping you get into the signs of it. Thanks. Now, Bobby. Good, I was hoping we were going to take a hard shift here Yeah

It's getting to the science All right, we can't just keep reacting No one's seeing it, but just know There's really ugly pussies out there Yeah Oh my God, Christine Everyone be aware There's lots of gross pussies in the world

Have you ever seen Like a gross pussy? Yeah, yeah I had sex with a lady who was like a burn victim on her pussy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It looked like she wrote a flaming horse.

She had her pussy burned? Yeah. And what's the story? Did you get the story? It wasn't burned off. Nope. You didn't, you saw a burned vagina and you didn't go, what's up with that? When I saw it, I was like, we're past the point of no return.

So I got to do it fast and get this over with. Did you hold in your scream? Yeah. You did? Mm-hmm. I pulled, you know, I was like helping her take her pants down and I was, you know, on my, in front of her. Was she going like this? Ow.

Oh, oh. Was it fresh burns? No, no. It was like Freddie Krugured up. It was like, it was that way. And then, yeah, when I was, I was helping her take her pants off, but I was like, you know, on my knees in front of her and just face to face. And then how fast I came up to, like, you know, her face to be like, whoa. Oh, hey.

Was it an even burn or was it just one side? I'd tell you, looking, she was like, like she sat on a saddle that was made of fire. You didn't get the story? What if that's the story? What if she, her horse caught on fire? And she couldn't get off. She didn't notice until it already burned her pussy off. Pretty crazy.

Wow, that's nuts. I mean, can I be honest, though, a pussy does look, parts of vaginas do look like they're, were burnt. Oh, yeah, yeah. Anyways, like a... Rough edges. Yeah, the labia and the clitoris looks like something like plastic

that was burnt. Well, that's what happens when they're all in the outside like that. They're open to like callous as any other piece of skin. So big, beefy lips, that's what I said,

get that quarter ridge on the outside. They have to have a guy come with like big horse nail clippers and trim off the calluses off her clip. Yeah, it oxygenates like cheese you leave out.

You ever wrap cheese in 1040? but a little piece wasn't wrapped. I want to see the grossest. What that turns? That little thing? What happens to cheese? Exposed fridge cheese.

It gets a rind. Yeah, it's harder. Pussy rine? Pussy rine. Can you bring up the grossest vagina? I wonder what if that is. It's going to be what's that one that was the famous, when it was a blue waffle or they were called it.

Blue Waffle. Wasn't that what it was called? You don't remember that? It was like a viral thing years ago. Oh, boy. You know what? Maybe. Oh, whoa.

I didn't say I mean I wanted them attached to a body Christine what the fuck Ed Geans get us a regular vagina alive

she's bringing up guys holding dead vaginas yeah I didn't know it was a thing you could just hold an external vagina yeah I have yeah I thought I thought vagina was mostly inside

you don't have door dash can you just change the front can you just do a fucking a facelift on a pussy You can just attach a new pussy? Just put a different pussy on me, please. Oh, there you go. Oh, God, really hated that woman.

I love that it mixed in with the hair. You didn't know what the door was? Oh, my God. Wow. I actually had a girl one time, really pretty girl in Boston, who warned me, which I do give her credit. We were in the back of the car. She was with my acting class,

and she said, I was going to go down. And she goes, just let you know, one of my labia is is very large. And I go, I don't know what a labia is, but that's cool. And then I went down there, one of her pussy lips was like a batwing. And it was so big, I actually pulled it away from her vagina. And I was like, wow. It was like interesting. Yeah, and then it flat back.

That's a tree. I know, but I want to see. But yeah, but look at this thing. Ten reasons your ugly vagina is normal and gorgeous. please go to that visit that site I want to see why what are the reasons why dear M and Lowe

a male acquaintance recently started a this is a note I guess to somebody on this website there's no such thing as an ugly vagina here's why dear M and Lowe a male acquaintance recently started a conversation about ugly vaginas and my friends and me

he said that some vaginas resemble kebabs and that a lot of guys are really put off to sex when they get a hot girl naked and find that her vagina isn't as quote-unquote neat as they imagined it would be. It made me feel really self-conscious about my own, even though I never have been before. Anyways, as I have never seen many vaginas before, I decided to Google ugly vaginas. I was curious about what an ugly vagina actually is and whether mine was one of them.

Oh, my God, I was shocked. What I thought was normal was actually kebab-like. There were images of beautiful and ugly vaginas. The vagina institute in particular compares the two. The quote-unquote beautiful ones have plump outer labia and you can't see the inner labia poking out from them. But the ugly ones are just like mine, where you can see the inner lips slightly. It's made me feel so self-conscious, I hate to think of my ex and future partners being

turned off by my vagina, especially as I try to keep it neat by trimming and waxing. Now I feel like growing a bush to try to hide my lips. The horrible thing is, I think when I was younger, my vagina was more beautiful. By the way, this is making me think. Anytime I think a girl needs a bush, I'm just going to go, your pussy's ugly. You should hide that under hair, you freak. I've seen the pictures of me running around naked on the beach as a child. At least it looked more like the beautiful vagina pictures.

It looked more like a little bottom than an adult vagina. This took a turn. Do you think that I have made it look worse? by having lots of sex or something or is it just where I am older I'm 22 now can you have surgery on your vagina I really want my inner lips to be made smaller is it possible signed ugly Betty she's a pig right I think that you by having sex to a lot of sex with guys with big penises can fuck up your vagina no I think that it's fine

You're going to have a very pretty person with tons of sex. I almost shit myself. Oh, my God, that was so fast. I think there is false to like that. She just made me choke on my spit. Oh, my God. I saw her. She heard what I was saying.

It was like, no. If you're doing feats of like... If you're Bonnie Blue. You know, if you're doing like feats of stuff where you're exactly trying to get like five dixenia at once are doing those big novelty dildos for sure. I also think that your vagina, Christine, your vagina has a chance to go back to normal.

you've had you your vagina's been in rehab for around 10 years so you're fine i think we don't fuck yeah but you're not i said no he said i have a small weiner i'm saying he has a small dick um dear ub yeah dear ugly betty oi where do we start i don't want to is this going to fuck up certain dishes for me dishes yeah like foods is it like the is it like photos do you like paella i love kebabs and i i never thought of it that way let me let's see um where do we start we can write an entire book on this topic and it would involve a lot of ranting and swear words let's try for the abridged version first of all the bad news about your ugly vagina we hate to say it but there are plenty of guys out there who like your pal use the term

like roast beef or kebab to describe what they consider to be ugly vaginas nice right ignoramus is the correct terminology for external female genitalia is vulvas not vaginas so we'll be using that from here on now you know what get off this page I hate this pitch I don't like the way it's being let's read yeah there's no such thing as abnormal even though seedy quack operations like the vagina

institute their assholes will tell you that vulvas like yours are abnormal they're not there's no such thing as abnormal when it comes to labes okay maybe if you could play hacky sack with your inner labia that would be a bit abnormal now blame porn

you know the only place where the vast majority of vulvas do look perfect i.e the same porn Not true at all. There's so many beefed-up pussies in porn. All kinds. That's just insane to say that. Labiaplasty, schmabiaplasty.

Yes, you can have surgery, but you shouldn't even consider doing this. If you don't believe us, Dr. Kate says the same thing. Your labia are full of nerve endings. Every day we're inundated with letters from women saying they can't orgasm, and you want to lessen your chances? love and often mere lust conquers all the more guys into you the less like he is

to give a shit where your vulva looks like that's what it's about no it's not true no no you know that there's the labiaplasty and the godfather the book there is yeah there's a whole chapter where

Lucy you know the Lucy the girl gets banged up against the door by sonny did you just look at me and Jay and go the book yeah and expect I was like I'm still I was going to I'm waiting for you to finished talking so I can go, you read the fucking book of the godfather? You need a, you need a girlfriend. Well, years ago, but that's why it's a way better movie.

Oh, back years ago when you were crushing ass nonstop? No. That was your way to get away from the ass crushing? Yeah, I need a little bit of me time. There's two books that are, the movies are way better. It's Jaws and the Godfather. I mean, there's a whole chapter on, yeah, that girl Lucy getting labia, Labia surgery.

No, the books are much better. Oh, they are? Way better. So Hermione got labiaplasty? No. The girl and the godfather. Which one? The one, Sonny was fucking upstairs?

There's a whole chapter with her being self-conscious about her vagina, and she gets vagina surgery in L.A. Jimmy Con? I call him Jimmy Con. That guy lived the best life. I mean, one of the hottest scenes in any movie. When he's just upstairs. plowing that

chubby guinea against the door he is sunny what he keeps stops fucking for a second I'll be right there I'll be right there just continue to the fucking his wife's right downstairs

having cake yeah never seen it Francis cut out you what this is well documented it drives me nuts

I'm sorry I apologize what the fuck did you just say I never saw the godfather I know all the references how many TVs do you have in your house seven how many

do you have cable you have all the stuff no cable YouTube TV you've never stopped to watch the godfather no why no it's going to be so boring the fucking godfather

yeah snooze fast you are fucking you guys are children you really are she's absolutely right I watch goodfellas you like these fucking have

if they made it into a real version like just three second scenes they'd watch it no i don't need it's not the matter how long it's long and boring the godfather's not boring it is it's a lot i gotta hang on this right before i get into this because i always thought chitty chitty bang bang was the greatest move in my childhood and then when i sat down max and don to watch it one night 10 minutes and they were like this stinks your two favorite movies are chitty chitty bang bang and the godfather two of them were yeah not chitty-chitty-bang-bang anymore. Not anymore you got over.

Very, it takes a long time to get to the flying car. A lot of bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. That's the Godfather. It takes forever to get to the horsehead in the bed. Yeah. Godfather 2 was a better movie. Godfather 2 was a faster-paced, better movie, right? I can't

pick one or the other over those two. Actually, the only time I would say a sequel is on par with the original. Well, it takes a long time to get, but the opening scene at the wedding was very fun and interesting. And then seeing Mike's turn, that was pretty great. Is that when he goes into the bathroom and gets the gun out of the toilet?

No, his turn was when his father was in the hospital and they were coming to kill him and they had to get some dude who wasn't even a mob guy, kind of put a jacket on him, stand out front and look like there was, you know, mob guards out front because they thought they got rid of all of them. And then he went to light the guy's cigarette and the guy's hand was shaking, but Mike's hand wasn't. And he realized, oh, this shit, this is what it's meant to do. Oh. Right?

The Godfather. Apparently, Scorsese once did a, I think he was at NYU discussion on the Godfather. And he said, what is the one thing that nobody says about Michael Corleone? And it turns out, he already killed. He's killed in the war. He's killed people already. Yeah. He's a killer.

Yeah. And he came back. And I think that scene is one. when he realized. Yeah. This is what I'm good. This is my thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Then he got punched by the cop, broke his jaw. He talked like this to the rest of the movie. Damn. Yeah. This conversation sucks. Christine said it was boring. I switch up my thing that I like every once in a while.

And I actually switched over to, in my genre of what's getting. getting me real thin girls and real chubbies sure like these tits though these are the tits like when she gets up like she'll be hands and knees planted before her tits like the weight of her tits even starts coming off your chest and that's weird I don't mind a a belly like a nice belly I told don the other day I go come over here putting out feelers I go come over here hey fettos Bobby's on the prowl I told don I go come here for a second she was what I I go, I picked up a shirt and I just started kissing a little belly. I was like, I like your belly.

Like this. Did she, like, stick her thumbs in your eyes or anything after that? No, she wasn't looking at me in the eye and I don't think she was acknowledging me. But she goes, okay. I would never dream of doing it to, I would never dream of doing it to any woman unless she had abs. And now I like a little belly. Or was pregnant with your child. Yeah.

I like your belly. Hey, you know what I think you've been bumming about? I love it. I think it made it feel good. Nope. I like it. You made her think about it. No.

Why what? Well, I think you're taking it. What if Christine went and she goes, God, I love resting your belly on the top of my head. Christine, if Jay started kissing your belly and was like, I love your belly. Wouldn't that make you feel good about your little belly? No. You wouldn't like that?

I like your belly. Look at me. Look at me. I mean, I guess if it was like a. Not like ice. I was an isolated incident. Come here and lift her shirt. Is her kissing her belly is fucking weird if there's no child?

Jay's mouth on my belly would completely freak me out or turn me off. It would just be a weird, isolated incident. It's a strange move. It's not a strange move. They don't like anything. At least two don't do any belly. Yeah, you don't do any belly stuff. You don't know, she touches my belly.

What? Does he touch it? How does he touch it? Like it's, ooh. I really don't touch her belly. She's ticklish and freaks out. Really? Yeah.

That's my side. Same thing She's not going to answer Because she knows I'm on the show And she knows it's about her She's smart Oh is that her ringback tone Yeah

Oh dawn This isn't classy Why Is it a ringback tone This is her great great grandmother's song Let's see if she answers If you suck up all my titty Hello

At the tone Yeah goodbye Nice talking I suck up on your dick I like I do I like a little belly I like a I like the thin girls with small titties and a gut worship

Is that what it's called? I wish Don would have gut worship I wouldn't have to fucking lose all this weight oh here she is All right here she goes Hey Dawn Don you're on the bonfire live It's not live it's recorded Well they don't know that All right listen real quick it's not live it's just recorded

Jay's correcting me again he has to just fix it Well, just, he micro-corrects me all the time. No, you can just let her know that... It's a micro-correction that doesn't need to be... It does, because it can be what she says. Do you feel like you're with me? Yeah, exactly. You know what, Jay?

It's not you. It's when I'm with you and you micro-correct. It's her, because she micro-corrects all the fucking time. Well, you make micro-mistakes constantly all day long. Everybody does. It's called being human. Fucking perfect person. Don't you want to learn from your mistakes?

Shut your face. Mama, real quick. you know I love you. Yeah, what's up? What? What are you? What, you just drop an album? Yeah, what's up?

Who are you? 50 cent? She's using that black cent you want. I'm a new AI character. Yeah, yeah. Mama, you know I love you. Why the preface? I love you too, Dawn.

Say it back. I love you too. I'm trying to figure out what you're getting at. Don't be on... Mama, when I tell you to walk over to me and I pull your shirt up and I kiss you belly because I love your belly does that make you do you mind that or you like it right that's cute what do you what whoa whoa whoa what the fuck was that what do you mean what do you know it's nice it's a it's a it's like it's endearing

endearing what no it's not the word oh you shouldn't use endearing oh Christ. You don't like it when I kiss you when I go, I love your belly. Because I love your belly. Oh, and saying it. Okay. Do you not like it? Is it hot?

I didn't say I didn't like it, but it's not something I ever really thought about. Do you, does it bother you when I do it? Well, I mean, it's not sexy. Oh. Fuck. Fuck and fuck. Jay just turned his back to me. Jay's never turned it.

He's never, Jay just put his head down. Jay turned his back and put his head down. What the, what the, Don, what do you mean? What is it? It's cute.

It's not, I don't, I gotta go. It's nothing sexy. I'll never do it again. Thank you. Say thank you, Dawn. Oh God

Wow Belly kisses That's what I give dockies That's fucking weird Don get over here Let me pinch Hey Dawn Let me pinch an inch

Get over here Can I stop your girl quick You're not supposed to kiss You dog's belly What? I'd eat my dog out Oh Kiss the dog's belly You weirdo

I'd rest my head around our pussy I never kiss my dog The belly kisses Near the vagina And the nipples No No Where's the belly?

It's not really, if I got to be honest, it's more side. I don't kiss my dog down below the neck. Just like a child. No, give her on the side. I'm not going to kiss Max on the belly. Why would I kiss a dog? That's weird. You also are not going to make Max piss and shit outside.

I do. First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know. Do you feed him from a bowl? We're different parents. Yes, I do. Casa de Max has no bathroom.

If he behaves, do you throw him the bones of your food? I actually give him dried turkey hearts If he He hydrated turkey heart and livers He goes he's going to be a fucking monster On that football field Dude The stuff we're putting in this kid

It's going to be crazy Oh man He got in trouble last week He got in trouble so much He's swearing so much And it's my fault Yep It's all my fault

Yes And he's swearing so much You guys have been Extraordinarily permissive with it His entire life And I feel bad I'm trying Everyone's uncomfortable when it happens.

He goes, he goes, he goes, his friend, they were getting on the bus for after football, and his friend was getting on the wrong bus, and he goes, right in front of the monitor, he goes, wrong bus, asshole to his friend. And the monitor was like, what did you say to me? He's like, oh, no, I called him an asshole. I'm like, don't say it twice.

You're not supposed to say it at all. Yeah, you have a hill to climb now. I know. Because he's 12, and you got to start doing this thing that should have handled when he was 8. and he would come around and make everybody uncomfortable and he'd go

ah shit what's up and you go hey Max that's a weird opening yeah I know it's all me I almost tripped

it's not dawn it's 100% me and I catch myself now I didn't even know I was doing it but I catch myself walking over the bus I'm like look at this fucking guy he's like dad

I'm not supposed to say that and you say so what you're an adult yeah no it's not you're not his best friend you're an adult

don't you fucking say that what you don't have best friends with your dad Because he can't throw football. Right. His dad can. Well, now that Tommy Pope, your father taught you.

Hey, fine. Looseen your grip. Hey, Maximus, loosen your grip. 100% I did that. Yes, two days ago. He told him to loosen his grip. I swear to God, the other day, I passed on my father's advice. I never had a dad, Jay.

Dude, you should just make Tommy Pope, Max's Godfather. I would love to Tommy Pope just fill in for me for a couple weeks. Just a real mustache guy to come fucking. and take Max around? He really is. Show him the good stuff.