The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Rockstar Turkey Necks

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

Jay starts a debate over who aged more poorly, Sebastian Bach or Axl Rose? | Christine gets written into Jay's will and gets the house if something happens to him. | There are bongos in the studio and Jacob must respond only in percussion beats. | DJ Lou gets a colonoscopy and finds unexpected pleasure. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Do every endless day, I want to hear you say, and would I remember you? Damn, he's so talented. Why he's such a fucking cunt face of a guy? God, he's good. I can I fucking hate his guts. I love his voice. His voice is the best. He's him and the guy from three days' greatest

The one people I'd ever fight at Skangfest A bunch of old men You're gonna fight A bunch of old men swinging for the fences I'm gonna fucking cave Skid Row's chest in You're gonna punch him in their barrel chests I think I could beat the shit

At a Sebastian Buck Yeah now you could He's got a little stick legs And a huge upper torso He was never jacked or anything His head is massive now Yeah big target I mean his head got so big

He's gonna be punch an Easter Island statues And his legs is still the same size. It's weird. He looks like he's in Edward Scissorhand. Out of all the rock stars that fell off, I feel like he was one of the hardest. No, Axel Rose. Axel Rose. Axel Rose is.

Motherfucker, aged like a fucking open orange. He looks bad. But I think he actually, he got really bad now. He looks slightly better. No. No, dude. No, his teeth are all fucking. He looks like a, he's fucked up Jacqueline.

He's crazy. He's crazy. He's crazy. He's just his hair, is friccased and fuck the... Why he's not... Well, put them side by side. Sebastian by Sebastian Bach. I mean, look how good looking he was back then.

That's what I'm saying. Jesus. I'm talking about the fall, David. He was gorgeous. Wow. Now he's a crud. Yeah, he was gorgeous. Now he's willing to go out there and take off a fucking...

He's dressed like a chicken on mass singer. Hey, everybody, I'm a dip shit. From that peak to today, it's... Axel's worse? Watch. Bring up Axel Rose That one I picked up Yeah, Axel Rose is worst

And current, Sebastian Bach for sure We were out front Just talking about it And we brought up a close of his He's got short red hair Now like my aunt Peggy And short white teeth And his teeth are all fucking corroded

He's disgusting now He looks like an aunt right here Now scroll down Find the one and we looked at out front Oh God Where is it? Oh, right in the middle Oh my Christ almighty

dude What did you von a duchy hair I mean, yeah, he's crazy looking Are you not, look at his hair This poor guy was fucking A fall off Really? Are you kidding? It's bad, not arguing

But it's so bad He has mod hair He used to be Axel Rose Now he looks like the commission With a wig on Buddy He looks like Cagney and Lacey He's fucking

Unbelievable Come on dude Sebastian Sebach Looks better than Axel Rose 1,000 It's unquest. Christine, you're a girl. Okay.

Curran Sebastian Bach, current Axel Rose. Give her a... Hang on, sorry. I'm getting him. Sebastian Bach still has his long hair. Take it in for a second, Christine. Go on. Take it in. Current v. Current.

Okay. I mean, Sebastian Bach is... The hair is crazy on him. I'll give you that. But the actual aging on the face looks like it's worse on Sebastian. Like, look at how... Come on, dude.

Cratery his faces No, for sure, for sure. But Axel Rose's face looks so stupid. And also, look at how he looked. I mean, that's such a crazy difference. Like, at least Axel Rose, like... What? He was gorgeous. Look at him. They're both gorgeous when they were young. I guess he didn't look like a girl. This looks like a trans person.

Yeah, no. I mean, he does look. If you go to Sebastian Bach was a sexy, no, that's not a good picture of him. That's not a good picture of him. If you go to the fucking I remember you video, he looks like a pretty woman. He's gorgeous. He looks like a pretty chick. Bring that video up.

So he has his fall off from being as gorgeous he was. He was more gorgeous than Axel Rose in his prime, for sure. That's all. But Axel Rose was very attractive and very cool looking. And now, I mean, looks like a lady named Ruth. I would think that was somebody named Ruth. A mean lady on the neighborhood. He looks like the night nurse at a hospital.

It reminds me a large march The skin and the aging is just worse so Any of you but can I say something You're looking at a good bad photo of Axel now That like find the photo I showed you Where you can see him where it wasn't like pre-planned Yeah go to the go towards I mean this guy look at his fucking face This guy was stunning what a stunning lady

I still I think the falloff is worse with him No way Christine how gorgeous is Sebastian Bach young Sebastian Bach Oh my God Listen to his voice It looks like Something he's not gorgeous

He looks like a gorgeous lady Yeah what's wrong with that That's a gorgeous boy What's the point you're making I don't understand the shit you're saying And why do they all refuse to have a beard To give him a face What look should Axel get

If you were Axel His teeth are all rotten I don't know maybe you got new teeth I'll tell you what should get Hair and facial hair I'd say at this point You got to the hair's done So cut the hair to a short haircut

Don't worry about the hair Go back to that It should never not be that With no gross hair coming out of it And also sunglasses on Yeah you stop getting your haircut like B Arthur Yeah And put a hat on

Never let anybody see the fucking hair ever again That's going, that part of your life's over Slash should give him the hat Sure Slash has great hair Smelly hat Give him smelly hat And keep it on all the fucking time

And honestly I think possibly Maybe this hat is more age appropriate but I would say Axel should go with the fucking trucker hat but this works the brim hat also works for this No but you're saying he has to wear a hat now and sunglasses

Yeah hide that fucking face And if he had any sense on him Grow a little beard, grow some facial hair Can I say this? I think he should have some type of bandana around his chicken neck Or maybe a scarf around his neck Like an ass guy Freddy from Scooby-Doo

Look at the side of his neck No, like a rock and roll scarf. Like maybe the one you have in your back pocket. Okay, okay. Yeah, guys got turkey neck, no doubt, for sure. Okay, I can see what you're saying, for sure. Listen, he should be more concerned. But he doesn't want to wear a hat.

I live my life, Bobby, overthinking and concerned. I was going to say, I thought you could put the word in there, too. I live my life, N-word. Trying to keep the collars of my shirts as up high on my neck as humanly possible. Axel Rose is a human being who is accepted very much in life that whatever the collar on the shirt is I'm wearing it It's why I'm so picky about shirts

Because most t-shirts you buy now Have like a, I don't know, like something trying to fucking Model rainy day clothes For a sad skinny boy I don't know why the fucking necks are soapy That's why I always go with true classic T-shirts The number one t-shirt for men

And you're not just the CEO, you're a customer I'm telling you. Have you seen Dan Soda's fucking t-shirts? His collar is two inches thick. He always has a t-shirt with like a two-inch shirt. I don't know what sponsor he has. I don't think he's a sponsor. He seems like a thick-necked shirt. I agree.

I'm with it. He has like rugby shirt t-shirts. Zoom in on those teeth right there. You tell, look at this mouth. Look at this mouth. You tell me that this mouth right here is okay. I know. It's crazy.

is that he's 20 years younger than Angus Young, who he's in this picture with. Oh, my. Look at those teeth. Look at those little chicklets. He's 20 years younger than Angus Young. What? Really? No, sir. And the guy's saying next to him. Wow. Easy. Right? He looks like shit, dude. Look at his hair.

Doesn't Axel Rosa be almost 20 years younger than Angus Young? 15 years? They're in their early 60s. And I think Angus might be 80 now. Something like that. That's nuts. I mean, like 15, 15, 16, at least. Years older.

Angus is 70. Axel is. Angus, is he that young? No, is he? Oh, it's Brian Johnson, I think, is past 80. Look at those teeth are just dying. There's black around the gum. Axel Rose is gross.

Yeah, he's great. And his hair is cotton candy. Jay's got me, Bobby, terrified of turkey neck now. Yeah. So I put, like, I lotion my neck. You should. You should. And I put sunscreen on my neck.

Just now. No, I've been doing it for a couple of years. Since he pointed out turkey neck, the neck is the telltale. It's the giveaway. I have a little. For a couple of years now. When I was fat, I had a nice big fat second chin. Really kind of just filled itself out.

And then when I lost weight, I got a little bit. Yeah, you got a nice chin. I got a nice chin, but I used to, I don't like the neck. I keep a beard, so I don't know what's going on, really. But I think I'm relatively tight. I'm going to start wearing ascots. Because I remember you pointed out, Corey. Feldman

his age finally showed in his neck Alan that was her first They really nabbed her one day With her neck She always used to wear his high-collar stuff And then one day she was out And her fucking The back of her knee neck

The back of her knee neck Was showing it was disgusting The neck is the But I think she got surgery I think she got surgery on it I didn't get it fixed You can have Tighten your neck

Do you know what Dawn got from Dr. Gale I already fucking fell dog look at that car Dr. Gale gave Dawn something that she put on her face recently yeah go ahead and say it you make a cum joke I thought you got to throw something

The N-word? No but her wrinkles on her forehead she had some little gone really I don't know what what it was but they're gone Dr. Gale's come there it was

it had to find itself Bob Bobby, I had to let it find itself. You can't just point and say, joke, I have to let it find itself. It has to find itself. You're a producer and a find it. You're an artist, is what you are. Thank you.

Yeah, I don't know what it was. She put, she put, we'll find out. He was going to say something like that. Because I'm talking to guys. I'm not talking to you. They're not going to want to know what it is. Go ahead. Tell us, what are the isosomes in it?

it's uh she had to put these it looked like pieces of skin on her face gross um you ever see the larnix that car the animation the larynx laurax the lorax the lorax she looked like the lorax for a night it was pretty frightening yeah she looked like that dude for a night and uh save the trees i have to save the trees um but she uh put it all on her forehead in her face wrinkles gone Gone. Crazy. Gone. Save the trees and my wrinkles go away.

Wow. I put Dr. Gale's jizz on my forehead and upper lip. What do you think? So listen, whenever something works like this, like a miracle like this. Yeah. There's always a price to pay. Yeah. Now what is it?

It's cursed. The bottle's cursed. Do you bring, welcome evil near house so don't have no wrinkles on our floor? Yeah. Well. There's always a catch these things. Anything that works perfectly, didn't you see the substance? Here's the catch, but it worked up in my favor.

She grew a penis. Oh, there we go. That was the catch. I was like, no, don't do that, Dawn. You're like, no way. Yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy. What would you rather have a chick with wrinkles in her forehead or a flat, flush-faced chick with a fat cock? Yeah, you want a wrinkle-faced chick with a fucking regular pussy?

What do you want a unicorn? Fink. Fink. I don't know what it is. I'll find out, Christine. You don't have any wrinkles. some okay they're coming they're coming for me i think you look your skin is beautiful thank you yeah gorgeous you look so sexy thanks bobby jay give us a sec she's looking for us that's so funny

he'd be like yeah let me know when you're done tell it you uh she's got the house now though has her energy changed because what is it she's in the uh she's got the house she's in on the will oh i signed paper yeah yeah that she could uh if i die esteem will take the house and all of its debt what made you want to do that like what i thought you would just give her cups yeah yeah yeah yeah oh the cups i forgot she was getting cups did a whole collection and she's getting a kiki-ko blanket i believe one of one one kiki go but now she's she's used kikiko she's uh she's in now right oh yeah she watches her ass so how does that feel Nice.

Yeah. But if I die, like now, it's probably a mega debt. Yeah, I still want him alive, but it is nice to be considered. How long does he have to live for until you're good? What? I'm saying till all the debt is paid. Yeah, don't act like you didn't do the math. I actually haven't done the math.

I don't know. You might want to talk to Grock. Maybe Annie will help you out. Hey, Daddy. Yeah, you got to, well, yeah, if you pass. away now you're fucked you'll have to sell it you're only going to make a couple grand a couple hundred grand why would that be

fucked for her not you not awesome why would that be fucked for her well because a couple hundred grand is not going to last her she didn't pay anything for it this this pocketbook hole would spend that in a year oh maybe but either way it's found money I understand but it's not going to last her forever

she wants no no no yeah you want him around for the next you have to assume that gas digital and skankfest would crumble immediately. Wait, stop. If you left, there'd be a lot more shows that would crumble.

Are you crazy, dude? You could do story wars with Brendan Sagalow and Lewis? Yeah, everyone's got stories. Yeah, so he's got to pay, the house would get paid off, and then it'd be all yours. So that's good.

So when you're 90... I mean, honestly, he's absolutely right. Even if something happens tomorrow, and I sell the house and I only get a couple hundred or whatever it whatever's paid on it now it's still found money no but that's great that he's fine you know what it means though that he I'm very happy about we've been together a long time you're his very nice to be thought about if something does happen to you're his gal well she's the heir to my house no we know what it means she's an heiress she's a pain of my heiress I'm here and just walk around the house in my TR all day.

Yeah, you're an heiress now. You should get an outfit for the house. She almost fished her wish, by the way. I was working out bench pressing the other day. Yeah. And I have a bench so you get like it's got the safety stuff on it. But I had them set low. They're set lower than my chest.

I didn't really know. I didn't overpaid attention to it. Like when I built where I had it built, I just like left the safety things where they were. and I was going and I realized like just one rep before it was too late I was like oh I'm not going to make it to what I said I was going to do and then the next rep my arms just like died out and I was like all right well it's fine I got to these safety things I mean I think I didn't let it go I just let it come down and I was like at one point I was like it was squishing my mouth I had to roll it down my face neck tits belly Pussy and your crack. Pussy and my neck back pussy and crack. The weight had to fall off one side?

No. No, no, no. I had to ride it down my entire body, like wheels. Did you get thinner? Did it push some fat down to your feet? Probably. Yeah, shit huge. It really fucking, like, milked myself.

I, uh, it was, I had to roll it down, but it was the idea I was either like scream for Christine while I'm like this, or, or, or, or. try to get out of this on your own. And I got out of it. But Jesus Christ, it was painful for sure. Could you imagine walking in, Christine, he just signed the papers, and he's got a dumbbell on us. He's got a barbell strangling him on his neck.

You'd be like, what? Jay, where are you? I can hear you, but I can't see you. It wasn't very heavy weight. It wasn't very heavy weight, but it was like 135 pounds, which is just like, doesn't matter. But I was done, but I'm saying, That is a lot of weight, rolling down your body with all gravity.

I was right in the living room. I don't know why you didn't just call. Nobody wants to girl looking at what was sitting and going, yeah, yeah, yeah. My legs kicking up in the air. Shave my life. I failed. I couldn't do what I tried out to do.

You know, the barbell's 45 pounds, right? Of course. That's crazy. What is? I mean, barbells used to be like 10 pounds. Now they're like, I just got a new barbell. I got to kind of like something like yours. Just the first one you got that wasn't for weights that had sand inside of them?

I mean, since I've looked at a dumbbell, they're 45 pounds standard. I've never had a professional barbell in my life. Stop calling it professional. It's just a bar. Buddy, all the barbells I've had in my life were like 10 pounds. Jimmy Superfly Snooka fucking presents sand weight set. It was Jack Lillane. There you go.

And I had my shake. 10 pound bars? I had them next to my shake machine. There you go. That adds up now. No, but I never, I didn't know it was 45 pounds. So when I put them on, I put weight on, I was, I did the weight myself, but I added 10. And then when I went to do it, it was, it was, like, way heavier than I thought it was going to be.

And then I googled it. It was 45 pounds. I didn't know that. That's wild. Yeah. Well, I always used to go to a gym, dude. I know, I never, I've never had a good gym. You go to a gym and do machines?

I do dumbbells. I don't really fuck with. I don't really fuck with a barbell because of my shoulder. I have a bad shoulder. That pop's thing was always bench-pressed stuff, so that's what I always did. But I did have the plastic with the cement inside when I was young. That was my.

Me and Bobby Ciccetti used to wail it out. The sand, right? Sand inside of it. We had sand or you had dumbbells. Yeah. I mean, cement. But it was... Those sand weights were the funniest fucking thing in the world.

I had those. And that's, by the way, weirdly enough, it was the kind of weight bench that Jason Ellis wrote. rode that black galboys weanus on like a thin back like the posts are close together like he with the weights around the posts instead of them being on the outside

yeah it was such weird like but that's funny you thought it was 10 pounds yeah I thought it was 10 pounds but they're 45 oh my god get this ghouish woman off the screen what's the American that's funny as fun I told me it looks like oh no that's the fertile he looks like shit

yeah he's way worse what's the what's the American day scene where they're showing they make it's when they try to make Steve the purity one and they keep showing them pictures of things they just keep going back to Axel Rose and he goes oh god who is this horrible looking woman I'll see if you can find that please uh American dad like Steve gets like it's like clockwork orange eyes or something it's so fucking funny he goes oh god they just keep showing him like sexual diseases and then going back to Axel Rose face God, stop showing me this terrible woman.

So now, can I ask you a question? When you signed over, did you sign over half of, do you sign it all over to her? Like, does it, does it get divvied up? The house. Just the house. Yeah, yeah. Not the money. Not the millions.

What millions? I mean the thousands. The thousands? I get all the furniture too. Yeah, yeah. She had the house. What a lesbian thing to say. Isabella gets money.

Yeah. Yeah. Would you leave us? in the house well I put everyone's name on the furniture so you guys could all come pick at it while Christine's not there it's funny if you did that

if you did something funny in the will to fuck with her will you tell me that you said about Dawkins oh yeah I said if I die soon like I said Christine takes the house

I go but Dawkins is not allowed to live here the dog the dog cannot live there so you have to get rid of the dog or you have to move out with the dog He was telling Dawkins last night that she had to go.

I was going to sign the paperwork, but you can't fucking be here. That would be so funny if you did that. If you put some weird thing in there. Dawkins is not allowed to live there without me. Well, the only way to be able to enjoy it, if you die, that sucks. That's a suck part. No, it's good, though. Good grenade.

This guy was hilarious. And by the way, fantastic production on that last joke. Fantastic production. His one last kick in the nuts to Christine. Look at that. He went out producing. That guy went out producing. You should put the other thing on his tube zone.

Big J. Erickerson, full of production. Oh, I think you're going to say the N-word. Bobby, it's got to be in the songs. I know. I told you. I can't play this. Oh, yeah, yeah, please. The audio on this is great.

What is this? I don't need sex. What is this? Can you explain this to me? Yeah, so pause it. So it's American Dad. They're trying to keep the son from being interested in sex. so they do like a clockwork orange thing

where they put him in a straight jacket. Yeah, and they have his eyes open and they're showing him stuff back it up two seconds. So this is the aversion therapy thing. So it's like clockwork orange, remember they did the thing, though him, yeah.

Okay. So they're showing him. Please stop showing me phone with that idiot's woman. He threw up. Every time his Axel Rose used goes, ah, oh. He only reacts to the Axel Rose pictures

stuff showing me pictures that are redness woman That's fucking great Perfect television show I like not explaining it all today Why we're a bongo show now Yeah we should have these in here All the time

Oh yeah these belong to the show now If we have guests in here We make them sit over there Away No this microphone's for the bongo Yeah Apologies, but this is the Bongo's seat. I want to name them.

Me too. We should come up with names. Absolutely. Fred and Jackie. Fred and Jackie? I wouldn't name them. They're like foster children. You're not going to see them again.

I want to name my Mr. Furley. Can we have a new instrument here every day? Yeah, everything. Okay. Every day. You know what? Walk past the edge from where you saw these before. And if you see something you like, I'll email them for tomorrow.

Just randomly get an instrument. Here's what I. No, no, here's that. I think Black Lou. table should be out of here and I want Black Lou sitting at the full drum kit. Yeah, that sounds fantastic.

But just with his laptop and his phone. On the snare. But a full drum kit surrounding him. And he's not going to play them. No. Well, I don't know. Maybe. If he feels it, all right. If he feels it.

Okay. Maybe we actually, maybe we move, I like this. Maybe we move Black Lou up to the table. We throw Jacob behind the skins, let Jacob talk solely through the skins. Yeah.

Like, what would you do for a break? How would you let us know? Through the skins? You got a condo right in front of you. Show us. Maybe a low, maybe like a low roll and then, like, you know, Bill a little bit. You want me to let you know?

What about, like, you need to get ready for a break. Don't say it. Don't say it. You're a percussionist. Don't say it, play it. Procuss. All right, we're talking. Hey, Jay, man.

Blah, blah. Yeah, this weekend was wild. That was pretty cool. That's a crazy story. It is, man. And it was true, right? Oh, you know what? I think we do have to take a break, actually.

So, okay, I like it. It's going to be less condos, though. I think more like, I'd like give a subtle hints, like maybe the beginning of, what's the song with Phil Collins and Bailey, Philip Bailey? Gung Ging Ging Dizzy

Easy lover If you can come in with the beginning of easy lover Just as a subtle note Can we give them a little reference Oh sure Yeah

Yeah Now from the beginning beginning Here we go Oh God You can't do the video The video As I'm talking over

The part I'm talking about There we go Bobby, we'll be like this. Bobby, we'll be like this. Is that Jacob? Is that? Oh, oh, fuck, sorry, we got to take a break. We're going to take a break.

We'll be right back. It's a bonfire. Everybody, stay tuned. We get it. Okay. I like that. That flow is good. I like that.

Now, what if we say something we shouldn't have said, and he doesn't like it? What does he do? Like, if he wants us to move on. Oh. Like, hey, guys, move on. Oh, the very opening line of Bang Your Head, Metal Health, one of our old songs here we started the show with. There's a reference for you, Jacob, before you play?

Yeah, yeah. This is good. This is perfect. This is, like, let's know. Change direction, guys. Okay. Actually, Bobby, we have a lot of stuff we've got to get to here on the page. Yeah, what's up?

Yeah, see, so I switch. topic shift what is this right here yeah we do it yeah we should we should get to uh jlo's singing we can do that how's that i like it i like the way we did that what is jalo singing at home i like only through drums jacob yeah i love it i think he could might communicate better through the that's right how do you feel about it jacob no no no he likes it jacob likes it he's liking it only through drums Jacob is it is okay do me a favor Lou I want them to set up in the studio tomorrow

the biggest drum set that we have only through drums Jacob Jacob will communicate solely through the drums Jacob did you have a good weekend no he's bored oh no oh a lot of masturbating any of the rats

oh they're scarring oh it's frustrating him he's frustrated with the rats but you did work out, right? Oh, you know it, dude. He gets down with that workout. I like it with the congas, but I feel like when the guy is able to just give us a couple of fills

to let us know how he's feeling, I feel like I'm going to really understand, Jacob. How do you feel about that? In a way different than I didn't know I was going to. I'm thinking that we just do this forever. We don't ever hear Jacob's voice again. I do like the idea that every day they have to come back in here and rebuild a gigantic drum kit.

It's got to be insanely annoying, but I like it. You laugh through drums too Jacob, like he's laughing We made him happy We made you happy You happy? Yeah Hey

Did you masturbate this weekend Jay asked you that already But you didn't answer it Nice How many times Fast and furious One time or two Did you say how many comes?

I like that question I don't know why I didn't say how many comes How many comes Two Two How many did you get on your belly You put them all on your Jacob G-S scroll, didn't you?

Yay! Giz scroll's getting work. Nice. That's awesome. Well, Jacob, it's necessary. I feel like he never did use that Giz scroll. Did you never use the Giz scroll? Hey, you never used it.

Did you think about using it? Oh, yeah, you did, didn't you? Yeah. You wanted to put it on your belly, take all your clothes off, lie in the middle of your little bed, your little full, what do you get a full bed? Or a twin, you get a full, and then you don't answer it. It was like whacking off with Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, put it on your belly, hit that 20 spot right in the middle.

I don't like you still keep score. Oh, he plastered. Oh, nope. I don't know, I've read this 7,000 times on our sheet, and have we not possibly gotten to the DJ Liu now understands the ways of the woman as you've got your first colonoscopy. Yeah. A doctor fucked your ass, it says.

Yes, and I got to say it was glorious. Was it good? Yeah, I had no idea. He said that, no, I mean, you didn't enjoy the feeling for sure. But did you have a good colonoscopy? He said everything's ship-shaped? Everything's ship-shaped. They said, I'll see you in five years.

Nice butt hole. But I couldn't tell you what happened because it was over like that, and I felt absolutely nothing. Have you got one yet? They didn't knock you out? They did knock me out, but that was over in a second. I didn't even get a good sleep out of it because it's like blinking. How fast did you wake up?

It was an hour, but it felt like, you know, five seconds. Have you ever gotten one? No. Okay. And I talked to him. I mean, not with an instrument. Stop looking at the camera like you're on a sitcom. I winked.

Mr. Furley. Oh, come on. No, you know you're fucked up. He has the Mr. Roper And then I give the face of the... He has the Mr. Roper when he breaks the fourth wall when he says something about his stupid wife and he looks right at the camera.

So what happened? The most disappointing part of the colonoscopy is you do not feel them putting stuff in your bum. I don't know. You go in... Well, how do I finish? You don't finish. You have to finish at your house.

I'm going to be up. I'm going to be unconscious and just blow and load everywhere when they hit the spot? They give you the Michael Jackson juice. Yeah. And as soon as they go, hey, we need you to count bound from 10 or no, 100. They put their dick in your mouth. And then they put down. But it's like this.

All right, cool. And then you wake up. That's how crazy it is. You go like this. You go cool. And then you go, hey. And you're just up. And when you wake up from, like anesthesia sucks.

You're a slut. But Michael Jackson juice. you feel like it's the best sleep you ever got I feel like the doctor was rinsing off the thing and he goes, you're happy Bobby now you're a cunt come on

so it felt when you woke up I mean you're sober now but that was a freebie I didn't really enjoy it but on the ride home my brother said I was talking gibberish oh really? Yeah what were you saying

you want to kiss him I don't know what I was saying when I come do you feel it Now we say that's sober When you woke up We were there Broke you till we came last night It was around 12 o'clock

You were around 12 o'clock? You were 12 right? I was sleeping but I woke me up I felt it Yeah, maybe hungry Me and the lady were watching Family Feud in bed So it was a little weird time

Yeah it was weird Finger on my ass That's for love Jesus Christ Christine what was the context that was in What the fuck? What context was that in? It's an edited

drop no it's not that's right out of your mouth oh what do we have artificial intelligence now oh is this the future yeah what can he take your voice and make it say whatever he wants what are you crazy total recall yeah all right I thought she understood production she doesn't she thinks we're living in the fucking matrix

or the terminate it what the hell's wrong with you next thing you know you're able to take my face and Jay's face and our voice and make you do whatever we want on an app on the iPhone yeah and then call it SORA I hope people start making aggressive pornography

with AI Christine That is going to be interesting If you could make your own Christine getting gang fucked by the bonfire Yes if she gets gang fucked by All the Bonfire That would be wild Everybody wants to see

A wild AI sex scene Between Jacob and Christine The world's dying for it I want two things on the background I want Justin Silver Just jerking off In the background And I want Dawkins

Just cutly sitting there like Woof Everyone's wild Like that I think everyone agrees. With an eagle shirt off. I think we could all agree that Jacob and Christine are the Ross and Rachel of the show. Yeah, they really are.

Is it ever going to go down? I don't know. But if it does, it's going to go down because he's built up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can see it. Remember those two big loads he had this weekend? Yeah.

Right on his stomach? Yeah. Oh, could you imagine that? You got to say this, though. If you walked in, if we were at Skankfest, and you walked back to your home, and you saw Jacob just balls deep into Christine, the first thing you do was laugh.

I start clapping like Ned Beatty Dan the Rudy. God damn it. You did it. I just start crying. He told me he was going to do it one day. A son of a bitch, I didn't believe him. I was like, whatever, dude. You're just mowing her lawn or whatever.

Now, would you stop? Would you stop and say sorry? You're just going, I'll be done in a second kid. You can say you're sorry why he keeps going. Sorry, man, sorry. Hey, Jay. I don't know what to say if you walk in the door. I go, well, finish, bruh.

I'm going to go downstairs and get some Snapple Zeros. I would feel bad. You would? Oh, why would you feel bad? Because I would hurt Jay's feelings. Oh, no, you wouldn't. No, he wouldn't be. No, I just have nobody to give my house to.

You can give it to Jacob. I said, give it to you, Jacob. And then, yeah, if you choose to have Christine stay there. One thing that you can keep Christine in the house, no Dawkins, though. No Dawkins. Either way, Dawkins is fucking Oatsky. That dog's taking the hike. Back to the band.

That's what's in my thing. Back to the pound for Dawkins. Get this shit off. This is a stupid episode. That was a dumb episode. I thought it was going to be like stuff we'd know. The one Christine was out there for, Christine, too wrong on the whole game. Don't make it right.

Do you want to know what your scores were? No. Stupid. I won, for sure. Yeah, you collectively got 16 wrong. Whoa. Who asked for me who amy we got wrong? Well, I just logged it.

I want to put these fucking famous Amos crumbs all over you. Jesus Christ. Why did that annoy me? It was the tone she said it in. Collectively, you got 16 wrong. I don't like when she fires back. I don't like it either. I don't like when she looks.

Just take it in you. You have a screen. in front of you. I get to see the, I can smell shit, but don't know where it is face. Bobby got one right. All right. Well, see how she says it? I wasn't supposed to get any right, bitch. Jay got 11. All right, with that, too.

Did you get 11? Yeah, but I would have got the daily double if it was a different question. You know, I could have done better if they were different questions for sure. I agree with that. They wound up on the last, and they do that a lot on the Jeopardy. wind up on the shittiest one that nobody gets on the last one right oh yeah that sucks because well no one even understood what the fuck that was yeah the lube and schlab or whatever fuck that what's a goddamn it's a dutch band it's not a dutch band okay and there's no rhyme or reason

of the questions actually it's a genre of music from belgium stop okay i'm gonna stop all right then christie's looking like i'm serious you went what that's not true bobby yeah Christine, is it true? Those aren't facts. It might be true. Maybe it will be true. You don't know that. You want to take me to court?

So sue me. Do you? Gang-gang. Oh, shit. Oh, we got to go. We got to go. Oh, shit. Are we coming back tomorrow?

Yeah. It's today's Tuesday, right? Every week. It's tomorrow's Wednesday. Every week. We're here on a Wednesday. This was a fun show. It was a fun show.

Bobby's going to be at. sidesplers now where he's got the N-word game you could play put in your own songs wherever they go wherever they belong yeah yeah yeah just make sure you say the N-word yeah yeah yeah you want to be screaming that yeah yes yeah yes yes yes you need the syllables right so just N-word yeah yeah don't say the N-word or else the syllables do not line up she's wrong you can't argue she's she's right she's right she's right she's absolutely right she's right thank you But I meant to say the N-word. No, no, but don't, though.

No, I'm not going to. We'll see you. Just don't even give my dates. Yeah, I'll be in passing you this weekend, Friday and Saturday. And Bobby's going to be in side splinters this weekend. Yeah, come see us, man. Go to our website. It's big jaccomedy.com and go to his website for another thing.

You're ready for his dates? And he has pre-order available right now. They, Them is available. It's going to be available on vinyl. It is a beautiful album. and it comes with a very special surprise inside that is signed, penis guy, signed by BigJ, bigj comedy.com, go there, check it out, buy that.

Come see us live, and if you come see us live, come up at the end of the show. And we'll play that game together. Hey, baby. You get to remember for everything. What happened to her? Paul Abdul, she shrunk down to nothing.