The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Roman Soldiers

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Jay and Bobby brag to Jacob about their airport superiority.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of The Bond Fire, you can listen on the serious XM app. Go to seriousexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, The Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly. The art of the round, so fucking damn. The tracks, the smacked, the smacked, the whack.

Never gave away, I don't play with that. Yeah. I'm catching Kid Rock fever. I'm catching the Kid Rock fever, too. I never lost it. I never lost it either, but you know, it cycles. It cycles for sure. It definitely cycles. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, if you don for sure it's definitely cycles yeah yeah but you

know if you don't like Kid Rock you get sucked my dick he says it right there in the song that's where I say about thin Lizzie but whatever now that's over we've ruined it for everybody I mean everybody Rob do our friend Rob Dukes reach out to me and pissed mad he's like ruined it mad ruined it he said he had a hard time with the other songs now because that went so lame they're all pissed. Mad. He's like ruined it. Mad. Ruin it. He said he had a hard time with the other songs now because that one's so lame. They're all ruined. He texted me. Someone had a thin Lizzie T-shirt at his cigar bar and he almost attacked him.

Oh, keep playing that. For sure. So I'll tell you this, Bobby, you know, this is a fun fact. I love fun facts, Jay. This is a fun fact. Before my premium blend. Yeah. Uh, the whole day. I still had a burn CD player.

And I had this song, I just burned a CD of just this song. And I would just play this next verse, turn it up, Lou. Um, and American bad ass watch me kick, you can roll it rockin' You can suck my dick, I'm a porno freak, I'm like amazing grace I'm gonna fuck some holes after I rock this, play on! Living double wide, so I call my glass a Josie can ride Bring it flash your van, got the long hair swingin' middle finger in the air Seem suit 65, she fell, get me ridein' sick Got the long hair swinging middle finger in the air 16, 6, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 6, 5, 6, 5, 6, 6, 5, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, Rome check my hips I know it stinks in here cuz I'm the shit Shit

And then I went on stage and did all right And then Jamie Kennedy brought me out and I nervously put her through seven minutes and did fine Didn't really change my career bringing interest into my life, but you know, it's a credit the TV credit Me and Lisa Landry almost made out Lisa Landry what happened to her? She's down South now, right? I think so is that the girl the blonde girl with the mole she was with somebody Big she's like a like a fat or no like a like a rich husband in the business He did something I forget what it was. If I could do that. I know. I'd love it if, oh God, if I could just marry a girl

with a hot Etsy page. She's the smoke and something. She needs, she has her own liquor. It'd be so good. I would stay home with Max. Well, you got Don on. Who's making you dress up on the wrong day? Let me tell you something.

I want this story so bad. Also, before you start telling the story, I'd like to know if any of you guys at home smell something weird through your radios, I brought in white fish salad for the crew and some bagels. Everyone's gonna get a little white fish salad. Now, Bob, you tried over the weekend, white fish salad.

You did so many things wrong. I did everything, I was, I mean, I did it by the fucking book. You put it on everything, bagel, which would have been my first suggestion for a whitefish salad. Okay. I'm gonna say this, everything, bagel, fucking thing that you guys really stuff down my throat last week.

I believe everybody was against me, except for maybe Jacob. The everything, bagel is the best bagel. No, Jacob agrees, everybody's, everything. Oh, you agree with the everything, bagel. Everything. It's not my favorite. I think it's a good bagel. It's the, it's hands down, the shittiest bagel.

No, and your complaints were so old lady like that it was concerning. I was worried about your age. I want to say this, Jay. The gift going, it's salty. It's so salty. The everything bagel is too much. There's too much shit.

Blame your local bagel place for that. What are you talking about? It's every day. They over everything that over salted it for sure. How do you over every single in your video looked sickly? It didn't even look appetizing. Well, you also toasted it first. What do you mean?

Asnone. Who doesn't toast the bagel? Not for white fish salad. It's a dude. You didn't tell me that. It's a fresh bagel thing. We didn't know you were it's a fresh bagel thing Well, what do you think I'm a grown man? I'm not gonna wait wait wait. Oh, there's a little cherry tomato

You told me tomato. I didn't say it all you said tomato Well somebody said tomato I had tomato here if you want it, but I think that's dumb Listen to me dude. I got I just... I just... I just absorbed a little bit of the saltiness. Listen to me, dude. I got, I ordered, I woke up on Saturday, Saturday, and I had them deliver everything bagel. Okay. And whitefish salad. What's the name of the place? I can tell you a lot by just the name.

Sunshine bagel. Run by Chinese. Bo. And Mexicans. No, Christian. What are you talking about? I can tell you a lot by just the name Sunshine Bagel Run by Chinese And Mexicans now Christian Sunshine upstate that's insane. Okay, okay, okay, first one look up sunshine bagel. Please let me see this just dump It's in a Jewish art is mostly Jewish people such a bagel And why is there just Asian running? It was there's no Jewish people wow wow I'm not getting I'm not getting a son alive with that attitude

Jewish people wow wow I'm not gonna I'm not gonna start it live with that attitude That's my bagel Come give my bagel on sunshine. Okay, what he had been an accurate impression Bobby Get this thing out of here. It's like a good bacon egg and cheese hang on now. I'm gonna tell you right now This is an artsy everything bagels to everything arts Lee is all Jay. It's all Jewish people Do you think it's a scooter crunch bar? It's all Jewish people. Do you think it's a scooter crunch bar? But these donuts also?

Yeah, they make award winning coconut donut. Oh, what do you hear what I said? Award winning. I didn't hear that, but they don't make it an award winning bagel. Well, you think that this place would last a day in a mostly Jewish neighborhood, Ardley, New York, with everybody there is coming for their bagels. You think it would, if it was a crappy bagel place, it would exist. I think it's a place where goyem move too

when they get some money and they don't know the difference from you know, good or a bad bagel. There's no goyem, first of all. I take that as an insult because I am goyem. You're a goyem. Well, don't, well, well, you're getting crazy.

You go to Detroit for a week and you come back nuts. Oh, dude, Detroit changed me. Listen. Saw a black eye on a motorcycle listening to to born free by Kid Rock super loud. You want to make a fun of somebody's wife?

What do you want to do? Dude, this bagel, this everything bagel was garbage. Too much everything, salt, nuggets. First of all, there's too much everything and there's not enough bagel. What do you try? The bagel's shitty. What do you mean?

It's a great bagel. That's a, you're about to have great bagels. Okay, here's the deal. I got the white fish. I got the little container of it. I got it home. You have the white fish that a Chinese person would make. Dude, Chinese people are all about the fish.

You have a no white fish salad. Dude, oh god. What? Oh, the salad part. You keep throwing the salad in. Well, see all the difference in the world. This is laying a fish on this bagel and it's gonna be looking at you with the one eye Jay It's I got white fish salad. I know I saw the video

I got the white fish salad and it was it right but you got white fish Yeah, but you got white fish salad delivered to you from a Chinese place. It's a it's not a Chinese place It's a bagel place. It's a it's not a Chinese place. It's a bagel place. It's sunshine bagel. It's bagel. It's not sunshine low-main and bagels. Oh, they didn't do that. It's not sunshine. General gals chicken and bagels. Sunshine bagels and donuts. Yeah, don't look Chinese people are Known for their donut. Sorry, I had a swallow my spit. You have of a lies what you had to do. No, I don't know for their donuts. It's kind of thing at all. Did they know for donuts, man? Type in Chinese people donuts. It go on. They're known for donuts. Get us on a watch list.

We're not gonna fly. We're gonna go through TSA tomorrow. We're gonna stop. I'm telling you tomorrow when we go to hang out with my soon-to-be this year best friend, Kid Rock. I don't think Shane's there this year. He's not gonna interfere. Yeah, I'm good. Did you hear that he gave Shane a gold watch? It's one of the funniest things ever. Oh my God.

No, no, no, no, the story is. It's actually hilarious on Kid Rock's thing. He's an Ari Shafir like long-term joke guy because he's done this to a bunch of people They said he comes in and when he hangs for the night and has a good time. He just goes like yo I want to give I know but like I want you to have this man. You got to have this and he gives him a watch a gold watch Gold watch and they go oh, he goes $300,000 right here and then he gives it to you and You get super excited and then we go

and look up and when you go look it up you see that's an $18 watch. He does this to everybody. So what I mean everybody Marcus King who hopefully you'll meet this week Bobby unbelievable musician you came and played on the show here. I know Marcus. Marcus King fucking rules the first night we met him was the after party last year of the Kid Rock show. Right. And he was saying, he's a big bonfire. Fanny came over and he goes, man, it's so cool. He goes, Kid Rock came with me tonight. Man, he goes, give me the watch right off his wrist. He goes, it's a little small for me. So we had it unclassed on his like chubby wrist. And he was like, well, your Kid Rock gives

you a watch. You wear that watch. And then I was like, well, your kid rock gives you a watch, you wear that watch and then I was like, either retroactively go back and go, oh, I bet that was one of those watches. As we go, his kid rock right off his wrist, dude. By the way, if kid rock gives me his $18 watch, I will take it and cherish it. And wear it all the time. I'll actually give him my Rolex.

And trade for his swatch watch. Yeah, for his swatch watch. Do by Wednesday, we're gonna be shooting Tranny cans with him out in the woods. Nice. Intrate? Intrate. For his swatch watch? Yeah, for his swatch watch. By Wednesday, we're going to be shooting traini cans with him out in the woods. Nice. Take that traini can. I'm going to blow in traini's. Yeah.

I mean, I'm going to be shooting. What are we doing? Pick a gender. Pick a gender of beer can. What are we doing with traini's? We should try to get him in the can. We should try to get him into traini's. Well, we're there.

We really should. By the way, it's also not a good thing. Yeah, I'm going to shoot traini's in the can. What does that mean? Yeah, I'm gonna take them in the can, give me a shot. That's how I roll dog. We have a big show Wednesday night at Zaini's. So if you're around, ticket's still available. Me and J will be doing a... Doing the grab or show? Grab or show. Bobby's gonna be on the audience mic. I'm gonna be a thing where some local comics go up and

it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be a blast. It's gonna be a blast. It's gonna be on the audience Mike I'm gonna be a thing we're have some local comics go up and it's gonna be fun it's gonna be a lot of fun it's gonna be a loose fucking fun show 9 o'clock show 9 o'clock show doors open at 8 something get your tickets now cuz while they're available cuz they're gonna go I'm not saying they forgets he's gonna go on that show but he gets say he was gonna come hang out oh did he so probably I just locked him in he's definitely going on I heard dice is coming by Jay Moore is gonna stop by Paul Mooney Jim yeah Jim Brewer and Patrice is mom is gonna

Trace's mom do a little crowd work. So we're gonna do a benefit for yeah, yeah Paul Mooney's coming by Yeah, yep, yeah, Paul mooney's coming by Yep, yep, that's happening. It's neat. Yeah, what what what did you know? What's my missing a joke? What do you talk it Jay? Say things like that around no Jay No way do you know Paul mooney guess Jacob we know he's One of my favorite things ever in the world when somebody was telling me the poem. He died. Oh, sorry. Now when someone was like,

Paul Mooney's gay, you didn't know that I go, I did not know that I go. Is he in the closet? They go, no, not really, but like, doesn't only talk about it much, but he's gay. I go, man, I don't see gay on that guy. And I turned around the poster of Caroline's with him wearing a hat that had fringes on it tied under his chin and looking over his sunglasses like this. I go, oh, he couldn't be more gay actually. Yeah. Mike gay that was off with Rick Chrome. Pete Carly came out of the door when he goes, that guy is so gay. I go, Rick Chrome is not gay. He goes, what? Look in there. He was on the piano going, you can sacrifice me. Just singing a show tunes. I'm sorry. Jim David I

could tell. Yeah, you could tell. Coming down the street for sure. Yeah, he gets too close. He's a close talker. Hi, Robert. Hi. Hi. Hi. You look lovely.

Hi. Can you smell balls on my back teeth? So funny. I'm 45 now. And all my only, like Jim's forever, Jim David's forever in my memory is me being 20 something outside, smoking a cigarette and he was smoking a cigarette. And I was like coughing already.

And I'm like, I gotta stop these things. He goes, as long as you stop by the time you're 30, you'll be fine. And I go, nice, I got a few more years of smoking. And then I'll just quit. 45 now. Oh boy. Yeah, and now I'm an old smoking queen,

just like Jim David. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. When's it come out? You can get tickets on me or Bobby site. Robert Kelly live.com. We can come to com. We're going to Zany's tickets available for that. We have a limited low ticket alert. Low ticket alert. But get your fucking ticket. That's natural. I put that on my. I love putting that low ticket alert but get your fucking ticket. I put that on my I love putting that low ticket alert. It's only 700 tickets left very low. It's like a 600 seat room. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. And then we'll go in Austin. We get a big week. Yeah, we got a big week. A lot of barbecue food. I'm getting to the airport tomorrow at 730.

Damn. Is that too early? That's way, way early. That's 1030. Can I ask you a question? That's why. All right, let me, okay, hang on. Let's just settle down.

Let's go through it. Let's go through it. If I leave my house at 730, I hit traffic, going to LaGuardia, from Westchester. So I will be in traffic for an hour and a half, maybe a little longer. I hit traffic going to LaGuardia from Westchester. So I will be in traffic for an hour and a half, maybe a little longer. Really?

That long? I don't know, because I've never done it. I always go, I'd rather just get to the place, get your security, go to the lounge, and I'll be there for two hours. Well, here's gonna be a different thing, a different thing probably when we travel together as we will now. You'll enjoy more, like you'll get that last before you go inside

cigar and because I'll always be down like smoke a cigarette before going. So you get those in, and then I try to give a lounge amount, an amount of lounge time that makes sense before you're like, well, there's nothing else in here. Give myself a time to get some food, sit down, eat, drink some orange juice, and sit with my leg crossed for a few minutes, and then make my way over in a nice chair. I like to get a cappuccino. From the cappuccino, because we're at lounge people.

Of course. And maybe a latte. I got the platinum, by the way, so I'm now also a Centurion Lounge person, which I can't wait to try. Centurion is a different level of an ocean. I'm not sure. What do you get with that?

Centurion Lounge? What's in the Centurion? I haven't been yet. I just got the, okay. They have a section of the lounge. No, no. It's a different lounge. It's a lounge that...

We're talking about the Delta Lounge, because we're Delta loyal. Even though I don't feel loyalty from them We are loyal to them and we get the lounge and you could bring a person or two I think two I think You could even bring in there which is nice, but the Centurion lounge isn't affiliated with a Airline in my correct Bobby correct me if I'm wrong. They are it's American Express is it's American Express is Centurion lounge it's only for platinum American Express people and when you go there they have things such as Rosoto

Yes, maybe some Gabagol Some Burjuto although I will say Bobby. I don't know how much you've done this Wow, I text I texted Christine when I saw this too. Yeah, I want to see more of that. Please. Okay, but I will say if you go in the afternoon to a Delta lounge, it's a little different. The morning's a little like grab your shit, move through. What I want in the evening afternoon, there's a lot of different stations. There's like a fresh pasta station. Delta has

stepped up the game. And if you show up before the first one, this is why I kind of want to go and be the first one at the lounge because if you're the first person at the lounge is The morning as you come up the escalator They have all the employees waiting at the top and they are applauding you Welcoming you welcome welcome good morning. Good to see you. You know what else they do Jacob When you first woke up when they sit with a garbage when you foot Yeah, you don't want to be terminal trash dude. I am Terminal yeah, I know it's tough when I bring some of them they bring like John Carden's terminal trash I'll bring him on the road with me and coughing when he gets and then I get to show him the other side and then send them back right to being Crumbs terminal terminal trash. They have to learn all

Masking tape all over the seats in the shit. They have to how to balance shit, like balance a coffee on like their luggage and their food because they have no table. You know what I mean? First of all, you're just, and then also, it's almost like being a juggler. You also have to find, and you know, I'm right about this, Jacob, you have to find three empty seats for your one seat actually,

because you don't want somebody right next to you. The lounge checker. I sit on, I never sit in my section where the, my gate, I sit in the next gate because I don't want to, because it's empty. In a lounge checker, you could sit in a, you know, you sit on the, I sit on the flight to Peru section. Yeah. I will, I never, I've never sat with my gate.

The lady with chickens in a cage. Those for eating or loving. You know what they have at the Delta lounge? Jacob, they have chairs, right? Single chairs that are, it's a cube. It has walls on each side with your own table that spins out. So you're in a chair.

Several like that. There's a whole bunch of different kinds of chairs. That's one of the kinds. That's one, yeah. I mean, you know me I don't do well around disgusting people. Christine can you show the in another tab could you please bring up the Delta lounge at La Guardia please.

I made silver. I thought I did I met all the requirements and man this woman was nasty from Delta. Terminal C. She I missed the I needed one flight and I missed it by two days. So they reset everything. Well, took away all the points. I had finally made it. I was finally going to beat somebody. And she, she was so fucking nasty to me on the phone. But my brother said I should call and ask them if I can pay for the points. You can. You absolutely can. Jacob. I'm very bad at calling and asking.

Jacob, I took a flight. It's so bad. I took a flight to Buffalo once just to make my points. I went to Buffalo. I went up. I went back on the flight an hour later and came home just to get my status. That's how awesome it is. That's crazy, but I do know what he means. He's not wrong. It took me so long to get to that point. Jacob, they they thank every time I go to the airport. I'm thanked yet me too. It's so clean. I don't do that anymore though, but I'm not that person anymore. I'm platinum. So I get thanked when I get to my seat. I get a

diamond diamond medallion. Oh, you diamond. Yeah. All right. Well, no need to step on my toes, but yes, I, uh, yes, we're we're different. We're close, we're close. They applaud you just for being you. When you walk in, they applaud. By the way, when you're also when you're platinum card, by the way, I haven't used this yet. I'm just saying, it's coming. Now that I'm platinum card,

but I'm also because I'm diamond-dialing, I can do this. There's actually two lines for the lounge. Yeah, so you could also be lounge shit who just like someone like a cold Just like but even that just go but just someone like maybe bought it for the day They're willing to go pay for it for the day or They're tagging along with somebody else. They have to wait. Yeah, there's a your line like your dex to your coming through next because of that When you walk up as soon as you get the escalator generally

There's a little they have a little cart up there when the lady is making fresh mimosa's or you can just have champagne or you just have orange juice fresh squeezed orange juice But you know I like to have myself a little I'm not a big drinker at all Especially like during the day or the morning like that, but I love myself a knife from a moe I'm there. I might grab another one on the way out. It's going to make me sleep on the flight nice. Because you're classy. I'm surrounded by people eating overpriced shit and putting crumbs everywhere. Crumbs on me.

Yeah. Well, this one you'd have a choice of some kind of a full yoke egg, frittata, or an egg white frittata with mullamots, a rel, and sun driedry tomato and don't forget the little roasted potato medley that they have Which is my favorite you know what I mean because I love a root vegetable I can do a root vegetable and the yogurt station with all the accoutrements Oh yogurt I wrote me on station. Yeah, and then you could also grab any your own pastries or breads or bagels Mm-hmm and they have the toasted machines and you it's all tongs Very tonggy

Sincene very to another world and if you have if you have the American Express you can put that on your Delta thing So when you go up you just scan quickly. Oh, it's what happened you go and I scan my ticket and they go Thank you. Thank you when I go to the airport for, if I'm going on any flight or especially like an extended bonfire flight, I will, I make food for the trip like I am backpacking in Peru and I need to survive. Well, Jacob, I mean, you need to get that lounge lift, but because if you emulate these, you know, shaving cream brush sissies on YouTube, these guys are not going to be out there being terminal garbage. You got to go.

I think I'm pretty sure individual solo. I haven't checked this out yet. I think the bathrooms are individuals. When you go, when you go poopies, when you do number two, a fifth function, you have it, you go in, you have your own door. There are five different, six different stalls, so you go in, shut it, it says occupied. And someone's in there cleaning after everybody. And it's top to bottom door. Top to bottom. Yeah, there's no one seeing your feet or anything.

You're not here. You're in a little cabin. Oh, is it something worse when you're going to the bathroom in the regular bathrooms and you hear the guy tuning next to you? Yes, sometimes don't care. By the way, every time I see that and hear a real wicked dump coming out in the three times I've had to shit. For the three times I've had to shit it in our port.

Every time you hear those noise I look over, business man. It's always a suit and dress shoes. It's the wing tips. Just sticking out from the underneath. Jacob, you'll see here. I don't know. I don't know. There's a picture. Are you explaining it?

I can't even believe what I'm on the screen. Okay, what's happening here is probably that seems like that's the soup. This seems like a little more afternoon. Oh, the soup. I love the soup. Not since my sister's wedding. Did I see a catering station this fancy?

And you're telling me this is a regular day. Every day. I'm telling you the breakfast would blow your mind. but I'm telling you if you get there lunch dinner hours They're doing something what I Yeah, I called Christine from one of them and I said I'm bummed out Because they had some special things going on around like go listen if you're listening out there people Explore the whole lounge before you make your choices Breakfast is gonna be breakfast same thing on either side, doesn't matter.

But I went around a corner and there was a hall. I go, Christine, I'm gonna overeat here. I've made my choice already on these things and I looked at, they had a Nathan's hot dog guy with the thing, the cart, yeah, and he's making these, doing them fresh. And they have to know, they have specials. So one day I was there for lunch and I actually was there if you really want to be there be there for breakfast

And then I miss my flight a delayed and I got there at the lunch transfer and they switched everything over the lunch And they had taco station so you can just go up and get fresh Bob a cola It's free dude. It's free. Look at me. Look at me. Dude, we don't pay for that. You crazy. You wait. The only thing that costs money in there is top shelf booze.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's free booze. Yeah, free booze. Free booze. But if you want like, belved the ear and should like that, you get charged. But by the way, also, not like city rates,

you get charged like, it's like, 250 if you get a top shelf liquor. And every seed has electrical plugs, so you can charge your phone while you're there. They have a cappuccino espresso latte machines. Like they once they have in Starbucks, so you walk up, you get either a regular cup or a to go cup, because you might want to take sometimes I take a latte on the plane course and you go hit the button and it makes you one of the best lattes you'll ever have. There's a coffee station. Oh that's a coffee station. You fly with so much

less stress because when I sit with that garbage my anxiety is through the roof. Yeah. I buddy I'm very new to the lunch life and I'm telling, I remember that thing of like I try to go in so late in the game It's hard to time But now I go always I go in about an hour before Takeoff I go in as a board about a half hour before and I zip through security and then a laguardia Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I don't even ask you. I apologize. Clear and Prejudice. Also, just see, you know, with clear, if you have an American Express Platinum, you

automatically have clear. It's just the things you have. You don't have to pay for it anymore. Really? Yeah. I have TSA. This clear is such a fucking scam that they're making you do this. Complete scam.

I hate that they don't. They cost you at the airport. But let me explain how important it is to do. Are you shafeeer who used to challenge the TSA constantly and was like, I'm not getting TSA pre-check. I'm not buying my freedom back. Eventually had to just succumb to the idea that like, you're gonna have to buy it back.

And then when you buy it back, oh, how sweet it is Jacob. I have TSA, but they still, they put their arm up like I'm garbage. Yeah, you're garbage. The TSA, wait, the clear are coming through. Yeah, that's a garbage. You got to stop.

Where there's clear, and then there's TSA clear. Yeah, so what happens? There's two different clear. The regular clear, TSA clear, that's it. TSA clear. I'm TSA clear. Yeah. So I get to go by when you're sitting there in TSA, I look at you and I don't even look at you.

I don't even look at them. A short black woman with a super thin waist and a fat ass walks you like a school nurse that cares about you. Do you, do you want to look at me? I look down when you're walking by. I wouldn't look you in the eye. I don't look at TSA anymore. I used to, you know what I mean? I just throw it throw it on as she puts their her hand in front of their face

Mm-hmm. I don't even look at them. Yeah, I look straight ahead. Yeah, and then it's the same thing. No, it's not I'm not I'm not are you out of I'm not saying they're making it something else, but it's the same clearance 100% something else Because I pass your face I pass your face. I don't look at it, but I pass it Immediately. Oh, I don't look at the people. There's another thing that I want to try. We should try this I wish we knew have you done red vest No, dude, oh, oh, I've heard it's a greeter. It's too crazy cheap 200 bucks. Yeah, we could have her meet us at the thing. Take us outside. Take us through for turn the book.

Take us through the red vest, take us through, and then she comes and gets us in the lounge, takes us to our seats on the fucking plane. Love it. We should do that tomorrow. What's my head doing? No, let's not do it tomorrow. Let's do it when We should do that tomorrow. Mm-hmm. What's my hand doing? No, let's not do it tomorrow. Let's do it when we're all flying together.

Yeah. Let's do it when we're all flying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. I have a friend of a friend who, like, does it will not travel without it. Red vest? That's why I love Delta.

They have so many options for you to feel better about than other people. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? You really do. I had to book us on American to get Austin because it was the only direct flight and it's like, what's your love bumming me? What happened? Are you flying? Are we flying? My flight? Mm-hmm. Wait a minute. I'm gonna throw up. Hit. Just one flight. I'm gonna puke. It's better than a Delta connecting. I'm

Louis getting hot. It is better than Delta coming in. You said American, American Airlines. But Bobby, when we come home from Austin, we get to go to the Austin lounge and stuff. We're gonna be good. We're gonna be good. It's fine. That's the overlook. Special barbecue in the Austin lounge.

Oh, me neither. When I went to the Austin one with Ari recently for a little bit and it was like a weird time of like night. It's good, but it's not as good as the new. That's not a great lounge. It's not the great lounge, but it's not. Yeah, La Guadilla is brand new. Like it is a brand new Delta lounge. It's crazy. The one in Austin, it's good. It's definitely good, but it's not as good as the one. I said with the gate garbage is brand new too. The one I said it. The new gate garbage.

That's good, yeah, that's great. Oh yeah, they built all those new gates and the Gwarty and stuff. But can I give you, can I give you just? Brand new crumbs, stains. Brand new gate garbage and also, and now they're also pissed because the Gwarty has now become, the fun of the Gwartia was that it was super small

Yeah, it wasn't even nobody went there was it was you were like no matter what five minutes tops to your gate You get your stuff in there, and now there's like don't tell you it's like 12 minutes to your gate like Walker That's it's still not JFK Delta, which is a legitimate. I'd be fine if they started that all over that JFK LaGuardia I'm the JFK JFK Delta is the longest thing ever. I've said an interview terminal four at JFK is the worst terminal in the country. I've actually faked a limp and jumped on the cart with a guy. I literally hailed him down. I was limping and he picked me up and dropped me off. I gave him a fennel to drop me off at the end of the thing.

It was tough. There's a 17 minute walk, which is legit. A 17 minute walk if you're in the 50s, God forbid, or those last few 60s. The end of that terminal, it goes back down again. It's like downstairs. Yeah. And how dare they ever ever have a time they should have 24 hour maintenance call on those walking Moving sidewalks

Because when you get to them you start seeing they're down and you're like running to your gate You're like fuck can I ask you question you do you walk on the walk people movers always see you're not enjoying life I mean when that happened when they invented when God not enjoying life. I mean, when that happened, when they invented, when God brought those down to earth, when God put those into an engineer's head, and that engineer built them for us, I, as soon as I hit one, I stopped, and I, I just relax, and I let it do its job. I am not, I'm, I'm stopped. I let it do its job. I stay to the right, I'm not a savage. I'm not going to stand in the middle. If you want I stay to the right, I'm not a savage, I'm not gonna stand in the middle. If you want to walk to the left.

Don't make a scene. I stay to the right and I just enjoy it. I hear birds. And I enjoy the windows and the people moving. And I enjoy the people movers. I hear you. I don't disagree with you. When I see somebody walking up escalators there, I want to grab them and throw them backwards and have them fall eternally. Yeah, you ever stop falling. Those people suck. I hate that stand there. You at the point of this is to avoid them. Go take actual steps. Jerk off. You'd find them. I'm sure they're right next to the escalators.

We should. They're right. Generally speaking. Can I give you a life hack? Sure. JFK, JetBlue, right? Starbucks, right? Yeah, yeah. Blind around the building. All you got to do, and I pissed everybody off. Mobile order, mobile order. They have them at the airports. Listen to me, we're going to Ruba a couple weeks ago.

Blind out the door, mobile ordered. I hit it, bang, came up. I just walked up, they do those first. For some reason. You looked out. I looked out. I got it. They said, Robert, I walked, I went, excuse me,

excuse me, pardon me, walked over, grabbed my fucking order. You saw 15 people go, what the, furious. Furious. You looked out though. You looked out, now it's not new. You looked out. They all say that. Now it's not new. You looked out. They all say that.

LaGuardia wants to say mobile ahead, like mobile pick up spot. They turn their mobile pickup, like service off in store. No, I know, but if you try to do it, they, so if you do, no, it's I'm saying because that's them turning off. They're not accepting those orders. Dude, they accepted mine. Yeah, it's great. And it saved me around 45 minutes.

Yeah, we're hit Starbucks pretty great. It kind of goes with lounge life It kind of does it's a lounge life thing with lounge life with silver status. Can I get into the Yes, I don't I'm willing to be bottom wrong guard lounge garbage. I don't know if you can get into lounge still something I think yeah, yeah, I think you can. I've, listen. Where's a gold? I think it's, I think it's gold, dude. So I'm still with the garbage. Yes, silver is silver.

I mean, yeah, look, if you saw a guy with a silver necklace, what would you think? I mean, right? If you saw a guy with a gold chain, you'd be like, oh, you see a guy with a platinum chain, you're like, this guy's got a shit to get. Yeah, you see a guy with a platinum chain with diamonds. You know, that's me. Yeah, that's diamond. He's I'm dripping. I'm dripping in

Lowne. I'm dripping in Delta benefits. He's dripping. I'm laced up. Um, just get the platinum card. Christine, do you have your own platinum card? No, I have the gold. You can get her. Do you know you can add her to your card? I added dawn to my card. And then she gets her own copy of it. She gets her own thing and she can go, yeah, what? No, I believe you would work. I would never do that. Speaking of that, you know what I have?

You don't have. You don't have a crazy person bottomless money. You know what happened to me this weekend? What? Both of my amics is gold and platinum. I got hacked and dawns. Oh, hacked. Sounds like it was dawn that did it. And then and platinum, I got hacked. And don'ts. Oh, hacked. Sounds like it was dawn that did it.

And then she's saying she got hacked too to cover, good, good tracks cover. We got hacked and then we got to, I realized I was racist because. You blamed every black person walking by. No. Where's my cat? Where's my cat?

Where's my cat dude? No, no because you have to call the number. It's that you a thing and then we called and it was an Indian dude And it was a hello, you know, and I was like me and Donald like I can hear you well because we watch all the we watch all the scam things and it's in India Right, it's Indian dudes, you know, yeah, and we're like this is like you We're saying Indians are a shifty and deceitful culture. It's not what I'm saying good. No, I'm just going to the next part of story No, no, no, I'm just saying he's rotten Indians. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that a lot of the scams Come from these dirty people. No, that's no, okay. No, I'm just saying you're not saying that. I'm not saying that. Got you. I'm saying that that

Let me look at Jacob when I talk about this Jacob. Yes, they The guy who went to the phone was in it like hello And we hung up why you can smell them to the phone. No. Is that what you're saying? outsource to Indian well and you were okay? Well, he he asked us to do something weird. He was like, hey, I think he was like, take a picture of your face and send it to me and then take a picture of your life. Show me your wife's. Christine, that's exactly what he told me to do with the card. Go on. Show me your. That sounds weird, right? That sounds weird. Yes.

So I was like, and then so we call back and it was an Indian lady. Hello. Hey. No, I am a lady. It is not the same guy from before, it is not a pretty lady. I'd make lovely or wife in front of the camera.

He sound like the same guy. Oh no, this is different, this is pretty lady. Yeah, I mean. That other guy was trying to scam you. Now I'm a girl, pretty girl. Yeah, but you sound exactly like we're right. We are probably related because we are a wild culture of incestuous people. Yeah, well, I'm saying.

Is that what you're saying about us? No, I am not saying that. I'm just saying. You're not saying it. I'm not saying it. I'm not saying it. OK, I'm just saying that taking a photo of my wife naked is because it's sound amic. Oh, you know, I'm a girl.

Like, I don't care. And she's what they buy, read the rules. 100% same thing happen with me with an amics issue. And now they've got to picture your dick. I just send it. I kept hanging up until I got an angry black woman. And then I felt safe. As soon as I heard, yeah, I was an angry black woman and then I felt safe You know as soon as I heard yeah, I was like oh thank God

What it is what what you brought? I was like thank you so much. Thanks for calling MX what it is yeah, I was so happy talked to me Oh hell I don't know hey excuse me. I'm like a motherfucker got your call. Yeah, I think my card was stolen. I'm sorry. I Seen it I heard it where you see it last and well, well, we have the cards Well, the electric motherfuckers Those motherfuckers guy who dead electric shit. I don't know about the electric stuff But somebody was trying to take our points on the amax and buy home depot Uh-huh, cards and then you call them what come Come on, them stink-ass and eat motherfuckers. Well, we call, there was an Indian-ish guy. Is that what you're saying?

No. It's probably a scam, is it dirty Indian? Is that what you're saying? That's not what I'm saying, we call back. So wait, you are not saying that he is a dirty-ish-nod Indian. I'm not saying that. OK, OK. What's your name again?

Let me put that in. What's your name again? Laquasha. Laquasha. Laquasha. Oh, wow, wow. What the W? Wow. Wow. What?

What? Why? Or is that a W? What is that? How do you spell that? What? Sounded out, motherfucker. What? W.A. Anyway, what's your problem? Okay. Here's my problem. Is that I, our cards were hacked. And we called up and there was an Indian gentleman that was asking us to do

a weird stuff. So I hung up. I called back and there was an Indian gentleman that was asking us to do weird stuff So I hung up I call back and there was an Indian one. We're stuff. Well, you want to put your body home? No, no You didn't want to test the booty. Oh, he was trying to do a booty hole. No, not my booty hole We don't play that shit It's a Sam X Okay, what Yakhisha we Was it Yakhisha We we so we call back

Again, we got a Indian woman and she Asked to do a couple weird things too take a photo of something and we didn't feel like that was stank as bitch Well, I don't know if she was stinky, but then we call back and we probably stinky. I maybe maybe Snake Charmin ass motherfucker. Well, I don't know if they like I mean yeah, I mean they do like charming snakes That's the main one That actually won pretty cool No, anyway, what come you call? You said one now I did I had said that our cards they were trying to buy a cut

So I don't know what to do now. We want to cancel our cards and get new cards because I have to, yeah. We have to go, Monday I need these cards because I'm traveling. And I'm Delta Amax Elite. And I need to get, and I need to get my last card. I need these cards ASAP.

Can we get the old, what's that? What was that noise? I don don't know I got some minutes running it all made it my mouth I think it's spinach right now it's been in my teeth no excuse me miss well fuck you okay yeah excuse me I need to get these cars I'm sorry so yeah it's okay can we smell the Indian people talk to you now what catch me up no no no no I did not say that you did not say they were smelly Indian people. I did not know fair fair. No, I'm just saying can we can we get new cards, cancel the old ones and get new ones and change we need to change the email because I think the

email is what made it so it was. I can't think with you say yeah, huh? Listen, it's I can't I need to you're you're okay, so okay. I need to get cancel the old You know, I'm gonna stop you right there. This is the wrong department. What this is wrong apartment? All right, well can you transfer me to the right department? Hold on okay, thank you and then hang up Mmm, hold on. Okay, thank you. And then hang up. So we finally got transferred to the right department and she actually transfers to this really over excited

White lady. Yeah, who was like hello? It was I got to the top we we made it to the really excited over like it was kind of annoying. Final level. Yeah, we got to the final level. We get to the final boss. The white lady who you think is nice, but she doesn't want to help you either. We got all our cards back.

They sent us brand new cards, got them back. So I'm back to platinum. I got the new card. This way I love about AMX2. All your stuff that the old car was hooked up to still works. Okay, tell you something. Jacob, I don't know, you love the stuff. I switched over to platinum,

having gotten the card you know, as I told you. But my Apple Pay is already the picture now as a whole platinum card. Yeah. And just switches over. Can you get into places where? No one's talking you gold? Well, no, but on Apple Pay, what, like, if I showed this,

could I get a... I'm pristine or I can't go anywhere. I have a gold. I've got a gold card. What is that? If I showed, like, if I went to the lounge and showed it on Apple Pay, would they let me in? I'll report you.

Is it your card? It's my card. No, but does it Apple pay doesn't say names though on the cards? If you should try it. I mean I fucking tackle you. I walked into the lounge once at Austin I think to see if I could get in with my regular Amics card. Oh, that's humiliating. Yeah he said, yeah, it was a, I'm sorry, man, this is not the right card. You can't come in. Oh, it said, I had to go and sit with a garbage again.

Wow, you had to, but were there people around you? Were there people behind you? Thankfully, no, but I did have to sling back to the gate garbage. That's the worst. It was just, let me, I was there on a wing in a prayer. I was there, Jacob, before I was better than you. Yeah. I remember those days when I went in, I was there Jacob before I was Better than you yeah, I remember those days when I went in I was like hey could I use this card and like no sir

They give you that smile. Oh no Jacob. I was a dumb piece of shit like you at one point. Yeah, just a bottom-wrong Asshole trying to show a regular amax, but you were doing you were doing great by the way I showed them the plastic green one You have the original like okay. I showed them the plastic green one Original okay, I showed them when it still was floppy. You should have the oh, they were like I was like well I have an amix and they go Yeah, anyone can get that one dude. It's a Delta amix. I told him You've a Delta amix and they wouldn't let you in you can get a Delta amix I'll get you in it Delta amix gets you in in and a hundred. Oh wait, wait, let me see it. Bobby worth a good different Delta MX is here.

By the way, big Jim. This is floppy. I bet he has tactile numbers on his. Can I ask you a question? Is it metal? Because our cards are metal. No, I wish it was metal. Oh God.

Does it, it clinks when it hits a counter? Yeah. Can I hear the mic? We can hear it. You ready? Turn my mic up a little loose so we can... Oh, I heard that, man. Dude, what do you want in my AMX?

What do you want in my chase? Oh, such a good sud. Now here, Jacob, look, isn't my Piddly Little ATM card? Yeah. Yeah, see it bounces all over the place? Yeah. You can get the gold card, you can actually get in metal now too. Is it metal?

If you have the The but don't have a play credit card roulette with a platinum MX because you'll want to paint the dinner all the time I'm a Delta Sky Miles and amics Don't don't flex it too much because you could crack the wire. I won't flex it at all because it looks like it's gonna It looks like a piece of paper. You might want to get that laminated. Yeah, help this not a all because it looks like it's going to look like a piece of paper. You might want to get that laminated. Yeah, help this not a, yeah, be careful with it. There's wind around it.

Yeah, it's like a laminated like a blockbuster card. Big Jim texted and said the LA Delta Club has a full outdoor lounge with a full bar and they have a fresh taco station. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lounge life, dude. Lounge life, baby. He once separated from me and Lewis and Austin, right?

Yeah. So see you guys and went to the lounge and we sat in the gate at the gate because you know sucks about that I would have done brought the two of you as guests yeah yes yeah well hang on that said it's levels it's levels it's levels actually you might have you might have charged him 30 bucks a pop didn't they charge people hey can we get satin jackets lounge life jackets? We can check it's for lounge life. It says you can pay for a year But can you just pay to go in one time? Yeah, 30 bucks. It's 30 bucks. Okay. Is it it's 30 bucks? Oh, maybe more now. I think they you can go in with somebody for money

Yeah, but you can't just be a person in the airport going, I choose to pay $30 for a full buffet. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can do that with the American lounge. I think you can buy a D pass. It's like 30 or 50 bucks. I'm not. American.

Oh my God, it's like a prison with wings. I'm not pretending to be somebody. American lounge is like, they have yogurt that you actually have to take the top off of oh Yeah, hey, thanks. What do you need a platinum card will get you into the Delta Sky Lounge? Yes, yes, that works for the Centurion Lounge and Delta Sky So yes platinum card you can I hear you say Centurion again. No, I don't know how to say it. How do you say it? I don't want it. I like the way you say it. No, that's not how you said it. I like the way you say it. How did I say it? You went

Centurion? I like it. I'm getting a plot card. Whoa, that was just a ball decision. I like that on Jay's account. I'm like, I can't good You should get my own fucking gold car. Oh wow What happened this weekend? Let's see who, I'll get it. Let's see who's just worn out more. Christine's still gold. Mine almost looks platinum from RIPPage.

Mine was actually splitting in half. I used it so much. I just got the, yeah. I just got a new one too, because this is happening. This is what happens though with the metals. Yeah, they separate. When you use it a lot, we use it a lot. Yeah, you have the metals.

You know, I gotta keep my jig in the finest stuff. So I gotta pull this bitch out use it a lot. We use it a lot. Yeah, you have the medals. You know, I got to keep my jgib in the finest stuff. So I got to pull this bitch out once in a while. Big gym tried to rub it into me with that lounge thing. But by the way, just throwing it in there last week, I wanted to surprise you, Jay, when your special came up. Out, I texted Jim while we were on there. I said, Jim, is there a way you can contact Kevin Hart and ask him to call into the show.

I'd love to surprise Jay. And he texted back, I'm happy to ask his team. And I've heard nothing back. Wow. Wow. We as his team and his team you did not see interest. You know what he do you know what Kevin has? Uh, tiny uh, tiny shoes. Yes he does have tiny shoes.

He has the black, the black amics. I bet the black amics. There's one above the platinum. Well, you know, the platinum is, you can, I have no limit. Oh my god. No, I thought Black sealant went with no limit. No, Black card, you have to spend a certain amount of your career. Oh, you have to spend a million a year. Black card though, you could buy anything in the,

you can just swipe it. You could buy a yacht. I was gonna say you could buy, there's no bullshit, you could buy like a Lamborghini and go like, yeah, I'll take this Lamborghini. No, that's a thing. Yeah, the Black card is, it's like you have a credit rate unlimited credit reading. You can buy anything you want.

Yeah, black card is like next time. I remember I went, uh, it's just I didn't feel like bringing $2 million in cash. So here. I we did me and dandian run in Canyon once we should do run in Canyon when I was out there with him and he came down one day and we went to Quiznos and he goes, Hey man, do you get any cash?

I don't I only have this and he pulled up the black card. I was like, that works to Quiznos and he goes, hey man, do you get any cash? I don't, I only have this. And he pulled out the black card. I was like, that works at Quiznos too, dude. He took my last 20 to buy two toasted ham and cheeses. I almost, I almost, I almost fought him. Black card. He had a black card in his sock. He goes, I only got this. Yeah, you mean the card you can buy a Lambo with?

Yeah, you can buy two ham and cheeses. You were asshole. By the way, it's not as much as I thought 250 to 500,000 annual spend I mean still a ton of money but I didn't realize it's called the Centurion card oh is that with the guy on the cover is a Centurion he's a centurion he's a Roman soldier where Roman with soldiers did we're sensitive Roman soldiers what I feel like it we're romancing the stone when Joan Wilder lands in Cartagena

I'm the guy. I'm one. I'm the bus ride remember she takes the bus ride sure That's that's how I feel I'm hurt again like a piece of shit with everyone's luggage and they're all they're worldly Possessions on the bus with her is there anything worse than seeing somebody balance a croissant on a piece of luggage? And then we're pulling something out of a bag and eating a thing. Oh, they have the bag from Hudson news of snacks they had to get. Or they do sprawl out on one like the high top tables. They'll have it some of the things. Yeah. But everybody takes up space and said you have to find three empty chairs to have a chair Mm-hmm because you're not gonna shoulder up next to somebody or you're a floor garbage. I'll stand

Yeah, I've I've sat on the floor before all these things I've done yeah for sure and now I know for sure and to and by the way They tell you when you walk in they go oh You're going out of gate, C 74, it's a seven minute walk and it's sporting on time at whatever. And so you seven minute walks. So I look at my watch and I leave with seven minutes to go. And generally I try to time it. So when I'm walking up, I can go, I mean, never stop walking right to the guy taking the ticket.

You know what they say to us when we have what the plane. Why don't you get a ticket? Yes. Well, you have to wait to you don't wait for your your when we scare not boarding pass. What do you think they say to us? They look at our everybody else. Everybody else they say whatever.

What do they say to us? What do you think? I don't come or please step right in. What is it? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You know what I get? I just got this. Your gate your your section hasn't been called and we have to check your bag. Because by the time we get to you, there's not going to be any overhead space.

Let me give you a life hack here, buddy. I'll do this for myself and it probably shouldn't get out there that much. And Lisa Trigger once got upset with me in an airport for saying it was a horrible thing to do. But that you like a female comics? Yeah. If I, uh, why Jay, you like support us. If I am anything, if a situation, like we'll find out

when we're on American, let's say we're boarding group two. We're not two, are we two? I have no idea what we are, but if we are boarding group two, which happens, I just had foot surgery. A lot of people don't know that, but I just had foot surgery. And then I Kaiser Soe say 10 steps into the jetway, and then I just walk in, no one else asked another question. I've done it. I've done it. Vegas airport. I have. I go. Yeah, I go.

I go. They go. Usually I don't even ask. But if you just give like a little, just a little something, you know, I mean, a little sluggishness in your step. And then as soon as I turn the corner of the jet way away from the lady, I just walk no one going to my seat.

Do you know what I did after I got my knee surgery? The, I mean, after it was, I was healed. Everything was great. I would travel with my knee brace and put it on and then limp to the Handicap and go I do too much I did do too much for that bag checking shit and we're looking for I don't even you know I never worry about then bumping me out of a seat. That's great I love that'll just happen sometimes they just yeah, we saw you're seeing you're being pumped to another flight Like that doesn't happen not with Delta you're talking when you have to fly it

No, I'm talking about Delta. I'm talking about Delta. No, I'm not special. I'm prone anything else to any other piece of Fucking terminal trash is has to deal with and we're gonna witness that when me and Bobby and Christine have to fly On Wednesday like pieces of shit. Oh, Christine, tell me though, tell me, thank you, Lou. Tell me that we're not regular people on Wednesday. Tell me we're not going from the big shows, the bonfire, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Tuesday show. And then we have to fly in to Austin as zone three on Wednesday. No, you're on one.

We're first class on Thursday. Yes. So we're flying in on Thursday. I don't want to run into Jared Fried in first class. Oh my God. And we're in like comfort plus. So whatever that is, right? No, I got the extra leg room.

Oh, they're going to judge us. Yeah, we can't last time I did that with Jay. I have not got to be extra. I got the extra leg room. Oh, they're gonna judge us. Yeah, we can't. Last time I did that with Jay, I was like, I can't do this anymore. He has to fly first class. Yeah. Yeah, okay. It's a brutal.

Do you have, do we have a lounge life in the American? No. No, I don't think first class just lets you in. First class does let you in. You think so? I'm pretty sure, yeah. First class in first class does let you in you think so I am pretty sure Yeah, first class in American you get to go lounge life I'll go get a fucking thick cut turkey sandwich or something sucks over there. It's not that'll to lounge for sure There is a Nashville a place you can smoke inside you pay ten dollars. I do know that

What's that for sure? Do you remember Atlanta Atlanta airport was the number one airport if you smoked? They had a room. It was a room in every single terminal had at least one if not two. And they were, you know, it's funny. They got rid of them all right when they figured out whatever the technology was to make them not so bad. Forever, it was like dingy and yellow in there. And everyone looks, they were just sitting like waiting to die.

And then they figured out the ventilation Think better. They were like nice little rooms and then now just illegal. Yeah, they figured out that you know those things cause cancer and people are dying Yeah, they stopped it what nerds still sell booze Yeah, LA has an outdoor place and you can't smoke in it. That drives me nuts. It's nuts. I just do it Better to get like they go sir. You can't I'll think it's nuts. I just do it better to get like the sir you can't, I'll think it's a guy you say you can't do that. What do you fake an accent? Oh, what do you mean? Do you mean I can't smoke? This is a medical freedom, right? You fight for Ukraine. I then sort of shaking and

his bullet right now because I do this accent too. It's pretty good. Between that and your Joe Pesci, man. I mean mean what the fuck go on with you. You don't do stuff. Huh? Your burying is asked you get in what you look at me funny now. You think I'm crazy. I think we can get into the Adderals Club. I'm getting on. I'm getting good. I will look at the exit. Click the access to the ad. I just did and it says first class Qualifying first class in business bang bang right there qualifying. Qualifying, first class in business, bang. Bang right there, qualifying.

Qualifying, but what, what's qualifying? That means you're qualifying. You're qualifying? Look up the word qualify. It means the exact, you qualify. We're straight white men, we're fine. Yeah, not on this trip. Look at me, fucking tummy time in it all week.

There's so much tummy time coming. I can't wait. I got a couple docs. What are you doing? We have to take a break. Come on. I know. Come on, Lou.

This weight fish, Sally. Yeah, we're gonna need to wait for sale right now. On this break. It's getting really hot. It's not gonna be that way. It's not hot. It's fine. Releasing hot fish.

It's not what's happening at all. This is a, it's a, it's a room. I don't know if I want to do weight fish, dude. Yeah, you got to try it. I don't want to do weight fish. a bite don't we have white fish yeah the whole idea is we're gonna try whitefish salad you went ahead made a crazy bagel this weekend the toasted you know there's no questions we'll be right back everybody it's the bonfire

this is big jayokers into my new special Dog Valley Life from Skank Fest, out now on YouTube. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. offer.