The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sad Prom (feat. Katie Hannigan)

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

@thebonfiresxm

Hey everybody don't forget Big J is going to be in Nashville this week and Austin at Moon Tower. You got a bunch of chances to see us this Friday April 22nd 7pm at A & Tones Live Bonfire show. But J's also got two shows of the worst comics tell tales of the worst situations of their life. All at bigjcomedy.com go get those tickets. Go get your badges. Come see a show. To the right thing. Dan Soder, of course, gonna be headlining the Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas that is Thursday, April 21st.

Everybody get there, you don't have to have a festival badge. You just gotta buy a ticket. It's a standalone show and a festival show. Wait, it's one way this way. It's over there, it's over there. So too faced. Make sure you check out that Null Dan's date's coming up at dansoder.com

And now the bonfire with big J. Okerson and Dan Soder Welcome back to the bonfire serious XM facts talk one of three. I'm Dan Soder That's big J. Okerson our guest has a new album out right now that you can go download called a feeling of emptiness You can also hear on the podcast lady journey with Sarah Talimash please welcome Katie Hanigan Our guest has a new album out right now that you can go download called a feeling of emptiness. You can also hear on the podcast Lady Journey with Sarah Talimash. Please welcome Katie Hanigan. Hi. Hey Katie.

Thank you. First time on the show. Yes. And also my first time being able to confront the bitch for stealing my man. Mike Beckion, we had a 10 year thing going on in Queens. Katie shows up. Other Katie shows up. All of shows up all of a sudden the 2 5 5 5 boys are done. Oh, I know. So sorry. You broke up the 2 5 5 5 boys. I asked Mike.

I said, Diddy miss it. He said, Katie, I'm 50. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. It's, uh, but don't worry. They still move two blocks from each other's to make sure it's okay. It can't be separated. It can't be separate. It's because they both just sit in their window, it sills at night and they go, what are you doing over there? Is it windy over there? It's not that windy over here.

What time is it there? It's like two blocks away. Who's the president where you're at? Katie's album, a feeling of emptiness. You can download it everywhere. Katie and I were in Raleigh had a great time hung out. That was a fun time working, fun weekend of shows. Yeah.

We were talking about prom before the break. Oh, God, I love it. You're from Indiana. Yeah. Did you go to, did you have a junior and senior prom? I had a junior and senior, but I also went sophomore and freshman, baby. Whoa.

Propsla. Propsla in the building. Propsla. Dan, can you hit the cycle, dude? Yeah. You did all four. Every year you went. How old was the guy you went with freshman year? 18.

Dan! How over here? Vegetary Ray. I was 14. I think I didn't even turn. That's an Indiana bride, though. That's what they call the next time. The age of consent is eight.

She goes, oh, Katie, that's a field bride. We're part of Indiana from. Indianapolis. Indianapolis. It was in Fort Wayne, odd place. Yeah, I don't know what that well place. Fun fact, the highest population of Burmese people outside of Burma. I believe it. I believe it. Burmese. Interesting. The people from the second last rant,

but movie. That's why you had Burmese when you were in Fett. That is why. Okay, it all is clicking. It's all clicking. When you went to freshman year, was it your boyfriend? It was kind of a boyfriend, but it was like a thing where we ended up breaking up very shortly after because I didn't want to give him a blowjob. Really? So I was nervous of AIDS. Are you really? That was your fear?

Yeah. Dude, you can get it from blowjob. I said, you get it. That's why I feel like I don't want to get AIDS. You just got to suck their assholes. Yeah, you're sparing up. The Lord's way, yeah. We're not where AIDS comes from.

You can't get it from analingus. Analingus, rim-jobbing. So freshman year, you go to prom, he's a senior. Yeah. And then you guys don't hook up and then he breaks up and then software year, who's that? But wait, so I was gonna say, do you feel all four years, at least in the guys, but I have sex was expected, and you had to figure out a finagle your way out breaks up and then software you're but wait a second say do you feel all four years

it at least in the guys but have sex was expected you had to figure out a finagle your way out or be okay with it was it was like a sex escape room I was so every girl I that's why I was found not to interrupt the answer but that's what I always found interesting about doing the prom shows the comedy prom shows yeah I did a zillion of those and it was definitely you could see the audience shows, the comedy prom shows. Yeah, I did a few of those. I did a zillion of those and it was definitely, you could see the audience. It's the guys are usually the ones that are drunk,

problematic drunk or just the shittiest like heckling audience members because they were thinking they were gonna get laid possibly on this night. They couldn't believe when they asked this girl and then she goes, grad the, me and the girls parents are all paying for us to go to Caroline, it's who I am.

You're just battling sexual frustration. Exactly what it is. By the way, I used to do okay because I would play to that thing that was happening. I'm like, I know guys, you picked the wrong girls, I guess. Turn it on them. I mean, good for you girls. For your parents. But I mean, dudes, this was not how you wanted to.

At the end of this night, you didn't picture like, oh, and then I'll watch some fat idiot. Y'all should at me on stage. And also the girls love the shows because they're all I love them. They love me. Yeah. Ladies, who's gonna stay that way tonight? But they were the girls were always like, there's this part of their party still. They're out. They're enjoying the comedy show and the guys were always just like the middle of drunk like, and I know what you think. It's they probably pay the comedians

pretty good money to do that, not at all. They do 10 to $20. Oh yeah, really also. Yeah, also even the ones that were fucking their dates though. They were like too cool for school too. They were almost like, we're here at this kids thing, I guess, because her parents don't know that I'm plowner on the red. So he didn't really care but he was also the guy it's like you don't ask me questions

dude I don't really want to talk to you. Shut up. We're trying to be a smart ass back like that kind of shit. Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Male energy. Ruins comedy shows. Yeah well then what's funny is it flips in adulthood and then drunk women ruin most

shit. They really do. They pass the baton. I used to do ballet. Talk about ballet. Hey, where's that shift 30? Yeah. Oh yeah.

I think it's when your dreams die. You're like, oh, I'm not going to have a career as a singer. Yeah, let me fucking bother this woman. Donnell Rawlings, they have a video of him. It's like a comedy club. There's a comedy club meltdown, which seems a bit dramatic for what it is, but like he's arguing with some lady in the audience and like, I don't know,

who's right or wrong or where it goes haywire so I can't say she's wrong. And just like when you hear the voice in the audience it's just, you can already tell everything about it just from her going, he's like, who are you, bitch? And she's like, I'm a person who paid money to sit here and be interested. It's like that kind of shit you're here coming up.

Oh, even if Danielle's wrong in engaging this, this chick does suck. Yeah. People get attitude like they want to be treated royalty when they go out. I remember I used to work at Applebees, and it was like everyone just thought they were the queen. Applebees, come to the table for for her majesty.

Yeah, yeah, and make that much like a little strong hun. Oh, I don't make them. I'm the cedar and I'm working alone. I'm a hostess and I'm double sitting every waiter that I don't like. Oh, getting called hun. Oh, I used to get called big guy. Oh, champ. My guys boss.

Yeah, by the guys. Oh, champ. My guys. In boss. Yeah. By the guys. Yeah. That's the worst. What's up, Chief? Let me get to Patron Margaritas. Hey, Guy.

And like, I was supposed to be like, Oh my god. What's the most insulting, you may have already told us, I don't know, what's the most insulting getting your attention, like, name. I was in the thick of it, no way. Waiters not bad, but I mean,

it's not great. When the, when the housing market collapsed, it was all year up like rich Europeans coming over It's guy hit me with the boy. Oh boy. You know what what you know it boy Come here, and I was like what the fuck what's up? And he's like boy What the no Gus? I know it's like oh you're fucking European By water no gas and I was like oh you're fucking European Wow Yeah, Carson though if you need to be from this country. You know the call somebody boy I don't know. It was fucking wild. I never got that I never got little girl Was a girl you must get like the princess sweetheart

Yeah, excuse me beautiful. Oh, You're gonna excuse me, beautiful. Oh yeah, I kind of like it. Well, hello. Okay. Don't lie if I do. I think that can go either way. I think there's some people who don't mind. Yeah, I think it's kind of charming.

It depends on the guy, I guess. If he's like a creeper. Well, it's also the kind of saying thing. It's like a sweetheart. What are we, you know, so you can tell when the guy's being a dick versus like, excuse me. He's trying to be charming, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Not pardon me, I'll pardon me princess. Princess Going a dog Princess here Princess I mean I Compared to like I've had a guy like come up to me come up to my ear and be like I love a princess over that or you know like somebody you feel like a phantom hand grabbing your ass Like somebody you feel like a phantom hand grabbing your ass. You're like Dad get you waitresses take it me because as a waiter you know, you're a man

They're assuming you're fucking probably get physically violent a woman They're like a lot of how many times did someone touch the small of your back? Oh, it happens all the time I used to watch it happen at dose. I would just watch a guy walk up and be like hey Would that bill and then you just see the fucking guy walk up and be like, hey, would that bill? And then you just see the fucking yeah, come out and be like on their small back to guide you. Murray Hill personality type. But does that at this point my my new hand thing, people don't feel happening, but I'm almost I'm full fist

or lobster claws behind their back. I'm just like, I don't know. I just don't know who to touch or put my hand on the door where just excuse me, something's wrong. No, no, it's just something to do with my hands because if not, I'm doing this behind everybody which is just as weird. So I just kinda like do things with my hands like.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Seriously. Like a finger just out, just penetrating. I like to give them a Jimmy Snooka to start all the way here, all the way on the side. Hands up here. When you went, so you go freshman sophomore year to prom.

It's crazy to go all four years. Did you know it was crazy to go all four? Indiana home run. Did you, yeah. Were you like suck at you ugly bitches? Were you going four years in a row? Yeah, of course I'm going to prom. I'm a freshman.

Did you ever reuse a dress? Were you like freshman year? My mom made all of my dresses my mom made every single prom dress the most Indiana thing you know You're like pretty in pink. Yeah, she really did. She did was that like hype up to the prom for like a month She's like in the living room sewing watching you know all of that carries mom so Similarities

A lot of lambs blood a lot of screaming. Yeah, a lot of lambs blood, a lot of screaming. When you killed your mother with mined scissors? But you still have your dresses. I do. I remember I tried the mom like a couple of years ago and I was just in the bottle of wine. Yeah, I did break up. Watching Bridesmaid. That's scary. I still got it.

I still fucking got it. No, I couldn't fit in them though. I was like a sad. Oh, man Oh, man, that's got to be a thing where you're like fuck you life Couldn't fit in your problem. What are you with tadpole and in your tiny small? That was a little smart look at black loot dude. It's black loot prop look at zoot suit ride. Oh Damn Oh Damn. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. You put these next to each other absolutely black blue when he was younger dressed and look like the guy who they think killed two-pock or or or biggie.

Did you shoot biggie and fucking lost the cop? Like the cop. You like the cop who the sketch of the guy that shot biggie and L.A. Damn, I didn't know black blue killed biggie or two-pock. I can't remember which one. It was Biggie. It was about the both. It might have been.

So, junior year, did you go with the same guy or was it four different dudes? It was four different dudes, but by the time I started junior year, I was smoking pot. So I went with a group of friends. I was cool. So, we went, we were all stoned out of our minds and just laying down. I put my head out the window because I thought I smelled like pot. And I just showed up with my hair. It was like a mess.

It was falling over my mouth. Poojard, your date had to be a senior though, right? It was always a senior. No, my date was, I think not for junior. Yeah, we had upper classmate. If you were a junior or senior, you got to go to prom. Yeah, that's what we did. You got to go to prom twice?

You were a pro. It was never a prom, right? There's a junior prom in a senior prom. Everyone was mixed. It was everyone together, but you could, you know, I'm not a pro. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, was everyone together, but you could, you're not in the cars. There was a junior prom and there was a regular. Yeah, ours was mixed, I think. ours was juniors and seniors.

It was upperclassmen. Yeah, midwest shit. The Indiana Roof Ballroom. Oh, so classy. Oh, wow. Did it turn? What were your themes? I don't remember having themes for the prom.

I remember the, I don't remember ours, but I remember there was one. I don't remember what I don't think it was. It was like under the sea. Yes, that's all. That's all too cool for that. I was probably like sorry I'm on drugs. To a hardcore I'm doing a class one narcotics. I'm on Potter whatever. Yes, you a friend so you went with a junior was your date? No actually it was my friend who was a senior and I think we just went as friends that year. That's gotta be established. You're like we're going as friends. He tried to dance with me and I was like no went as friends that year. That's gotta be established. You're like, we're going as friends.

He tried to dance with me and I was like, no. And then he died. He died like a few years later. So I always regretted, I'm like, I should've just let, I should've blown him. Is that why, is that why when you wait? It was because of that. It was the different dance for them.

That was the exercise he needed. That would have been the time that stopped him from his untimely death. And now coming from. What do you die from? Like mental. Motorcycle accident. Motorcycle accident. He really did. I was very medall.

It's very Indiana. What a fucking 1950s type of a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong.

I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. I know three people that I'm going to be a Tom Pegasong. What he died from like mental cycle accidents Motorcycle life he did I was very metal. It's very Indiana. What a fucking 1950s I know three people I know three people that have died of motorcycle accidents all from Indianapolis I don't know three people in history not even in my life that have died of motorcycle accident Also hanging out with the Mayans Anyway growing up the daughter of a warlock So shit comes downhill hell's angels show up unless to say they're indie chapter not a night Not careful We yeah, now the ghost shows up every night in his problem. It is sexy

Now vacuon has the dragon you have vacuon has the drag race in 1950s guy That he owns like ghost keeps coming back. I got to keep my cardio up to wrestle with these ghosts But he's so sweet though. He'd be like go for it Yeah, he's like dance with him. I know I told Mike I had a guy who was texting me during the pandemic I got some guy I went on dates with and I told Mike the whole story Mike's like Hey, give him a break. I'm like, what do you want me to do? He's so he's so like understanding He seems like a nice guy. He's asking for non-tasteful news.

And Mike's like, we're all locked inside. Help him. Yeah. You want me to send you back to once you sent me. Playboy level. Nothing crazy. No split and lip. And just like, you know, tasteful dead-ons.

Dude, my favorite. I was trying to tell someone this story of we, before the pandemic, when Katie and I started dating and Katie came over to my house to watch TV and we started we're on Netflix just like going on. Oh my god, is it the cheerleading thing? Oh my god, this is so funny. You have to tell the story. Katie Hanigan got the worst impression of Katie and all. I really did. I thought she was, I was like, oh my god. She thought it was nuts. She's like, this girl's cancelable. So it's like Netflix and we're watching the show Cheer, which is like last chance you, but for cheerleading.

And the town it takes place in, they literally have a fruit cake factory, a factory that makes fruit cakes. It's the only job in the town. It's like one of the big industry things in this town, right? That's an important backstory. So it's about cheerleading

and obviously there's male cheerleaders. So we're at home, Vecchio and my Katie Nolan and I, and we're all watching this thing. Katie's doing spots. Katie Hanna can show us up late after doing spots. And we're like, mid episode two. And we're like, oh, jump in. This is, it's a show about, you know,

we're like making fun of it. We're having fun watching it. And so we're watching it and like a couple of the male cheerleaders show up. And they're like, like son and then Katie. Just goes, all right, whatever. Maybe they get jobs down the fruit cake factory. And he's like, what kind of homophobic?

She's like, we're going to old school homophobic. She's like, what are these guys working down at the fruit cake factory? And then we're watching, I'm watching like trepidation between the two K's and I'm like, wait, did you know that there was a fruit cake factory? I know, I mean, while I was like, I witnessed a hate crime from Dan who was definitely still. Yeah, there was a double entendre there. But that was the double entendre.

It was the double entendre. But she was saying she's had a just no word. She thought she was being like, what is this? Queer fucking factor? Yeah, that is weird out of the case. So it was funny watching Katie be like, what the fuck's up with this chair? It's like somebody dropping an N-bombed joke

and like, it's gonna be them, you go, it was funny, but we have to know each other. I have to realize, I have to make sure you're not doing this like, right? Like with elbows in my ribs, but seriously though, right? I'm like, no, no, no, no, not that. Just watching Katie be like,

I guess they could go to the fruit cake factory. If that's a thing. And then I'm like, and then I pause it. I'm like, oh, you don't realize what had happened. We explained it to her. She's like, because they never brought it up again. It was just an episode one, and then they keep going. I think you think that you think when the people go or driving on their jobs in the morning

to the job of the fruit cake factory, that they drive by the Chilean practice, they go, they say, our place is a fruit cake factory. It looks like they opened up a satellite for you. Oh, I don't know, as it was competition in town for fruit cakes. Yeah, you have to be like a certain type of person to be using fruit cake like liberally like that. Yeah, yeah, what's up fruit cake?

Because it is an old school kind of homophobic. It's very old here. Yeah, it's like, what's the guy's a fruit cake? He is Chippewa and fruity. Yeah. It is funny how they do hit your ears. And they're like, like, sissy, I've always, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,'s always been like in an anger. Yeah, like, yo, let's do this sissy cup of net. But you're like, yeah. But women are strong.

Women's month. She looks to Christine. Christine? Solidarity. You get your problem. Yeah, Christine's them day. Yeah. Sorry, Christine, you didn't hit an Indian at home run.

Then you got four problems in and you could celebrate women's history. We had any problem. Did you hook up after any of the problems? After my senior one I did, but my boyfriend, and we had been together for like a year and a half at that point. Oh, so it's old half. Yeah, I was a slut, but it's very real.

Which I think my, I think my prom was like my second or third time having sex with that girl. Jay took a 22 year old. Oh, wow, you got molested. You got a school sanctioned molestation. And I'd like to say I was pretty young 17. Yeah, I was a fresh 17. I didn't know what was going on.

She was putting her, she put tapioca putting on my dong. And I was like, this is weird. So she went just to get it, there's like the putting, right? And then you flip it upside down. Yeah, she Abe Lincoln had it in my dick with it. And then she popped it on. Popped it on. You had to be very hard to pop through that top.

No, no, no, no, no. She didn't make me bust through it. No, she hoped she took the aluminum foil off the edge. She's not a monster. I think she wanted me to punch with a Capri sun with my dick. Oh, yeah. That's like, how fucking rock heart?

It's 17 hearts. That's the crazy food to get involved in sex. It's like a grandmother dessert. I It's 17 hearts. That's a crazy food to get involved in sex. It's like a grandmother dessert. I said those little, those little very clear, not seeable balls of tapioca. That's what they're called. We're in my, we're in my pubes for, for, for, for days. So you look like you had fucking like a flashy pubes. Do you wish it was chocolate?

Yes. I could have seen it better. Yeah. So also her loving the flavor of tapioca would be like, I'm gonna talk a bit more about that. So not sick of so she slammed it on there and started like, you know, like licking some of it off, which was, I remember making my weiner do like bouncy things

which now is like sort of flicking tapioca, like the real. Get the rich in yours. Yeah. Where did this happen? And then very quickly she's realized she goes, oh, it's like two, my body was too warm and summer. You know, and it's just like melting. It's like melting quickly in the room.

It's like. Happy yoga. Right. So it's running in through my dick hair and my ball. And she was like even like, oh, it's like melting. I really, really can't do anything with this. Like, yeah, take a shower.

And I had to go get in the shower and like rinse it out. Oh, I was picturing you did that in the cafeteria. Yeah, during the brown. Do me, do me right here. We snuck off. It's pizza today, everyone's distracted. And again, I was just out of the mix of cool kids enough to I couldn't tell you if anybody fucked that prom.

I don't know. I would have said that nobody was when I started fucking at 17 I guess it was. I was like, I was rolled in the school with like, guys, if you have any questions, I'll be here all day. I've been, I did it. And they were like, I think a lot of them were kind of like, yeah, we don't fuck these kids like, I fucked so and so and so and so and so I'm like, that's happening here. I had no idea that was happening here. I thought all these people were good boys and girls.

Wait, wait, wait, I thought you guys were lip kissing. Did you guys get tapioca on your balls? Yeah. How did you wash your tapioca? I was a good boy. Yeah, so you're like, wait, but everyone else was supposed to be good boys and girls. I was so upset when, and by the way, that was the funny thing. When we made our move, our neighborhood was broken up by,

it was up the hill and down the hill. Mike actually knows this, Becky, I'm so used to go to the Italian American club that was on the divide. He used to like to go and play a little pinoccle with his old Italian buddies. That is. Does that make you fall?

Yeah, it's fall of more than those. Oh, it's the best. So he would, so I lived in this down in one time. Like all the down the hill kids were like that. I mean, that's like tough, but they were just like the kids that ran around the street, seemed like their parents didn't give as much of a shit. Yeah. The latch didn't have any response to it, but I was a latch key kid, but I had responsibility

a lot too But I was like We wanted to be this what we gathered up a bunch of kids from up the hill and we're like let's just go hang out down the hill Just walk around and do what they do except none of us smoke or anything and drink was go longer And then we walk and they saw No thing no shit talking going on they They just saw us and started like, shit talking while we were there and it's that point that I realized I go,

this is a bunch of other good boys I've gathered here. We're just all good boys. And then they started following us. And they had older kids with them. They had the kids that were not in high school even in the old, were like adult beards and Mustang 5.0s. And they were just like following us.

And I was so terrified And that's what I said. I've told you yesterday where I called everybody back because I was the slow one Yeah, they were all getting away and then the people chasing us were getting closer to me than I was to my friends And I was like and they were like they were doing this but I can hear him saying like yo, man We just want to talk but they're not they're fucking with us Yeah, but I was like okay yet guys They just want to talk come Come back. And they couldn't leave me. And they couldn't leave me behind because they're all good boys. They couldn't

tell my mom that they left me behind. We're all good boys who, and they love Miss Terry. Damn, dude. You're the so Sh. No, we weren't picking on them. They're picking on you. They were the soashes. They were the greasers The thought of you just being like oh man, you guys aren't good at all. You guys make just names Just names were all like oh no, they're gonna beat up me and Mike Mishanka Mike's a sweet boy. Who's name I couldn't spell if you gave me 5500 tries today. Yeah, Mishanka. I'm telling you It doesn't it's not spelled like Meshanka either. There's a lot of wise and stuff in there that multiple like Christine and young Hutchinson.

Christine name. Yeah. Dude, yeah. Data. Indiana. I mean, you were dating motorcycle boys. You're dating the bad boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, especially after I started smoking pot and I went over to the bad side of town. Was that where you started hanging out the bad kids? Yeah, but you know, I remember I would go to like these parties. I was like, oh my god I'm like really cool. I was just like in someone's trailer with like nine people just like So funny. I'm passing a blunt around so you can wear a helmet like a pussy. Yeah Like I like danger. I love it. I'm 16 year old Katie-Han again. I live for danger. I'm cool I'm 16 year old Katie-han again. I live for danger. I'm cool. Did your parents have a problem with like a you know? My parents were busy my parents were fucking trying to hold it together

Really? So they're just like here's your dress. We made this get out of here. My mom was making the dress at nights And then you know she did make the dresses. It was great But she also my mom was like working nights at the emergency room So they my parents were not around the room. Do you have siblings? I have one brother. Younger? Younger? Yeah. And were you babysitter? Yeah. It's something I mean you had a very similar. My parents both my mom and step up. My mom finished up college when she was 30. Or you know when she went back and my stepfather started a little bit after my brother was born. And because they were both just like working regular jobs and they're like I guess we got to do

something and they became respiratory therapists working in like, oh wow. Emergency rooms, and they still like 12 hours shifts, so I was just, I said a lot of response, so I was a good boy because it was just like, you had a lot of responsibility. And my friends were the kids who were like willing to be like, well, I don't go hang out and drink and smoke.

I'll come play video games and hang out with you and your baby brother. Oh my God. I was a bad girl. I was doing that, but I was also being bad. You're like, I'm babysitting But then I go hardly ride Smoking We're doing we're definitely trying to get our dick sucked and do all this stuff. I like you're all teenagers. Yeah, yeah

I the bad kids it just and it was like eighth grade all of a sudden my friends were like yeah We smoke weed and we finger girls and I was like whoa whoa Seven and eighth grade I was like that's it we're 12. Yeah, that's a lot of them. Yeah, I mean I was like, whoa. Whoa. Yeah. 17th and eighth grade, I was like, that's, we're 12. Yeah. You're making a team inside of them. I mean, I was smoking. Yeah. Well, yellow fingers gonna do.

That's the good boy take. We guys having a good boy take. Don't put fingers inside of them. I remember you wash your hands. Before girls, it was all about cigarettes. There was like the summer of in between 17th and eighth grade. It was like more important like getting cigarettes that it was. Cigarettes were cool in the 90s.

I remember I had little candy ones and I pretend to smoke. They made me like real. Like, oh. Did they have the ones, the gum ones, it would blow the powdered smoke. Those were awesome. Those were ruled. Yeah. And then I just started liking real cigarettes.

And I was like, these are cool. I come full circle. I'm back to liking cigarettes more than girls ago. I go right back there. I just go. I go full circle. I'm back to liking cigarettes more than girls again. I go right back that I just go I go outside and smoke and I go You don't ever complain about anything. You're always here. You don't tell me I'm actually weird. Yeah You don't have to be what's wrong. You sit and watch every six years game with me sweet sweet cigarette sweet sweet beautiful cigarette

Yeah, man It's I mean the fact that you have all homemade dresses is awesome That's like a fun throwback thing They're pretty cool. I think actually one year my senior year I think I did actually buy mine. I bought it from a thrift store. How did you break your mom's heart? I think she just didn't have time that year now that I'm I can't him But my mom made a lot of my clothes growing up my mom would make me wear like these weird little house on the prairie like bonnets And stuff that she would make cuz she likes fashion That's her hobby. Yeah, what she likes fashion of the 1700s

She goes I stick with the Mayflower era those are my prom dresses She goes I like settling the West nothing later than nothing. I don't want to do anything later than that Should we take a break? Yeah, we got to take a break. We're gonna come back for a little more time A few minutes. Give a few minutes hanging out Katie Hanigan's album is out now, right? It's out now. Go stream it, go download it, a feeling of emptiness. She's hilarious. You can also check out her podcast with Sarah Tala Mosh,

Lady Journey, a variable wherever you listen to podcasts. It's a good lineup. Yeah, hello, Sarah and Katie, both hilarious. So go check out their podcast, Lady Journey. We'll be right back on the bonfire Tata Tell her just for them Welcome back to the bonfire so you're a sexing factor top one of three. I'm dead

So that's big joke or send our guest Katie Hanigan who has a new album out downloadable everywhere You can also listen to her pot. Oh, there it is. A feeling of emptiness out now. Go download it. Listen to it. She's hilarious. And then check out her podcast, Sarah Talmash, Lady Journey. Growing up in Indiana, you a big basketball fan? No, no.

I never, I never really... Did they push it on you? Like, skiing was pushed on us in Colorado? No, it wasn't. I just had no exposure to it at all. Really? And people were like, oh, don't you like basketball? I'm like, I don't, I actually don't even know how it's played. I know you're supposed to go like throw it in the hoop. There you go, Joy. I know that, but...

That's your advice for tonight's game. Throw it in the hoop. Throw it in the hoop. Has Mike made you a Eagles fan yet? Yes, I love the birds. I love the birds. I love, I love football. I know football and I know about it. Yeah. All about it. And I love the purple team. That's my favorite Vikings. Sure. Ravens. Purple. I said purple. I like purple teams. I like purple.

Go bird. Oh really, I get those go birds. That's purple. And I like purple. Go bird. Oh really, I get those go birds. I know I thought Mike liked animals at first. It's so sensitive. Oh my god, he's in the birds. It's so cute. How about butterflies? Yeah, you should at least be familiar with the thing.

It's going to ruin a lot of your Sundays. Yeah. Sometimes your Mondays. I watched the whole Super Bowl this year. I was in it and I paid attention the entire time and I enjoyed it. Yeah. Not a good time. Was it good Super Bowl? I don't know what Super Bowl was.

It was a very good time. It was the bangles. It was bangles, right? Bungles, rams. Should've been like the whole 49ers. It was a pretty good time show, but mostly during sports, I just confused her with keys. I just jingled keys.

What's this? What's going on over here? And the Cheat Jingles keys for the dog a vicious cycle going to the games a lot going to Sixers games going to basketball games and love going to the games and going to football games like I love the energy of like the live event Yes, I do like that. I like to drink get drunk, you know, and then it's just exciting You don't know what's happening. Yeah, I like to get Mike into a fight I can really ruin his time. Yeah, I just read.

I just just fucking scratch the ladies eyeballs out. She just doesn't even know it's coming. Yeah. Drinking at sports games is very fun. It is. Something I miss about drinking. It was very fun to get a couple of Indian. I never quite got it.

I have to pee a lot. That's only part of the sucks. I always want to drink baseball games. That's the best of the sucks. I always want to be a baseball game. That's the best. You're out. Sign. That makes baseball and two drinks. Get a hot dog. That's these sports out.

It's warm summer to get a cold beer. Yes. That would make sense to me, but I'm going to baseball games at all. But I've never fully got getting like, when we went to the Eagles home opener this year. Yeah. Like Tom.

What's up? We got up from Tom from a gas digital. And Tom, like, whole family goes. And like by the middle of the game, like, we were supposed to meet up at half time, smoke cigarette and kind of catch up on the thing. We didn't. It was like, oh, you have to the game. And then he even said by third quarter, he's like, I don't know where we were standing or sitting anymore. Like, he was just lost. He's like, yeah, I don't know. He left. I got home somehow. He's like, yeah, I don't know. He left. I got home somehow. You're like, what?

That is all that happened. I've only been black out. I don't know. I've been drunk. I've been drunk at a lot of stuff. The most blackout I've ever been was a baseball game. Wow. Cause Kursfield has a lot of bars around it.

And we were it was right. Isn't the bar in like the center field thing? Is that like that? That's in Boston. It's Bleacher bar. There's no there's something like that in my at mile high I mean in Denver yeah course field I don't know I don't know I think I think there's like the course something's like right in the they have a lot of bars around there they have a lot of fucking the outside one of the home run areas it's just like a

fucking bar is like a bunch of people sitting like at tables like high top. Oh, yeah There's a lot a lot of major league stadiums are like that where they have beer like bars in the outfield or like Beer places and stuff But I dude it was right after Montreal in 2011 and I went from Montreal to Denver for a friend's wedding and it was like one of the get-togethers was going to a Rocky's Cubs game And I got black out at a bar Didn't even watch a pitch of baseball was going to a Rocky's Cubs game and I got blackout at a bar. Wow. Didn't even watch a pitch of baseball.

Went to Kuerstfield and just drank somewhere at the, don't remember it at all. No. They were like, yeah, we went to a full baseball game. I was like, Jesus. Wow, usually you black out at the wedding. I did that. I did that.

I took a 40 milligram Adderall at the wedding and so I was. Wow. Do we have anyone's taxes? You're a, you're a, He was a wall flip like Gene Kelly. I was fucking. I was like a Phoenix. I've been drinking for two weeks and I was like I fell in my head to my toes. Anything goes.

I'm singing in the rain. And then I had a speech that you made at the wedding. I was like, you don't fight everybody. I think everybody here is too big pussy and no one will fight me. I had a speech that you made at the wedding. I was like, you don't fight everybody. I think everybody here's too big pussy. And well, no one will fight me. I had a breakdown the next day. Oh, God, that's tough. I was hungover and the, I don't know where we're off

and I was at my mom's house. And she lives on a busy street and I had to go get cigarettes on a hot day. Oh, oh. I gotta remember how it went out. You used to remind me to think of Louis's speech that was at V Vita's wedding? The worst, the biggest bomb I've ever seen.

It was so funny. But is it all Gary Vita? I have to list is his best man for his wedding. And everyone was like, that's an odd pick. Didn't know you guys were that close, but everyone's there. We all show up for this wedding. And the speech he followed from Gary's wife's cousin. It was like a cousin like the best friends and it was like I'm watching you grow up to be such a beautiful and murdered

Murdered and Lewis goes up there. He's like That wait wait. You got to set up the situation here Lewis has only done public speaking in his life doing to stand up comedy. He's now performing, he's giving the speech in front of an audience that is like 10% or less comedians. I would say 10% is perfectly. My majority of it is her family and then it's Vita's family who just like this is for his friends from college that we had never met so they showed up and we had to like smell each other's butts. All the all the groomsmen were like comics and we're

like who's these guys he's like these are my best friends from when I was growing up. Wow. They were like jealous that you guys got to probably probably probably. But all I know is Lewis went up and made the whole speech a state of the industry. The freeway goes because marriage is a lot like standard comedy. That's a big analogy. You go out every night and you work at it and then eventually you become better. You know comics are like general. Yeah, comics are the where the only family we're got. It's like, you know, and then the difficult times come

and you feel like God's giving you the red light, you know, I mean, you got to wrap it up. But do you, I watched, because I was sitting at a table where Lewis was, we were to the side of Lewis. So I got a view of who was watching him. I could see the people's faces, and you saw the people start with the smile of like Gary's friend.

Okay, and you saw their family be like, oh, to like. Pardon me. Is this gonna, look at the titties on this pig. Is this Mike already on? I said, hey, so. They're like, their faces change, they're like, is this gonna,

is this gonna be all about comedy? It was only about comedy. Dude, by like, in it went on, it's too long. Sometimes in life, you're gonna wanna do something else and your wife's gonna want to do something else. Like when Brian Scott McFadden bumps you on stage and they don't need to go,

hey, wait, it's again. You go, Wayne, that's pretty bullshit. That's all the seconds for both to go. But you know, my time was 915 and now it's 930 and I'm not on yet and I have another spot. Are you gonna drop tracks? Are you gonna drop tracks? I'm gonna go my spot. Any who such is life So I love Chokes, but dude he got off he got done and it was like

Norman and list were sitting at the next table and this just gave one of those like We were at Lewis is at my table and he's like shut the fuck off list. It wasn't that bad It was a guy's was it that bad and everyone had to be like Dude that was what was what bad dude? I wasn't the bathroom what happened what I Did you give speech was like I bet it was good? Oh, dude. It's always awkward when you see someone bomb And you have to be like it Your mother-in-law is like Estee in this situation. She booked me, but the pitch says she didn't.

Yeah, she booked me. She made the mistake, but she won a minute, so now I got to eat crow. Anywho, such as marriage. It was my favorite coming together of two worlds that didn't blend. Wow. Oil and water. But Lewis was all he was thinking about was the 10 people he knew that were going to the wedding.

He thought about me and List Norman touching list Norman and touching their hearts and touching their hearts and minds with an analogy is this why I'm not having any comics on my wedding you don't be invited now and I mean I would hope to get invited but I get if you don't you will you can come Katie can tell me how it went you guys can get a thank you Christine and Katie have to fill in Jay and guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you guys can you Mom of a yo Fixing prosciutto or the top of that Why don't you talk like that you've been in my house before yeah, oh, I'm a mom of a you know on this special day It's gonna be a great day. Yeah, that'll be a lot of fun But I totally get not wanting to have comics at your wedding. That's why people do destination weddings I'm like oh I get it like South Africa, hope you can make it.

Sorry. But, there's only 26 hours. Do you even care about us? My buddy literally called me and was like, I'm getting married in August. It might be in Central America. I was like, what is this, a drop? Is this a heroin drop?

Are we fucking shipping people? Well, you know, Vanessa's been mulling through the cure quarantine because, it's safe for the wedding, no? She has a huge pussy and no job. So we've been able to get her back and forth across the board. There's a suspect diamond mind in Uruguay. And she's been smuggling diamonds up through Central America.

We have a lovely pavilion in her. Hey, hey, you know, would you do, would you do stand up at your own wedding? Oh, God, no. What kind of person do you think I am? It just be funny if you're like and now five minutes on marriage And now I like to subject everyone to myself. I've never done a wedding with someone At least a rap to show like a minute. Have you ever been to a wedding where somebody

Does a choreographed dance? Yes, I've been to two and it's a multiple wedding that's happened Yeah, it's insane. Yeah, by the way, I'm talking about, you know, you could probably bring up the scene. You ever see the wedding scene and you used to start with our old song. Was that Jake Jo and Halcott movie where it's like real gritty end of watch? Yeah. And they do like a thing where they like, they like, like, like workout some like crazy dancing together.

If you could find that see it's so annoying. It's a thing when Paulie Z from Z Rock was married for 10 days. This girl 10 days. 10 days is crazy. That's probably less time than they rehearse the dance. Absolutely it is. It's nuts. Yeah, that's the scene for sure. And a head-trigger. Within a minute, Lou. Yes. Full minute. Well, while we're getting the video, make sure you go get feeling of emptiness. Katie Hanigan's new album. It's out now go. Go listen to it download it and stream it Thank you. Yes, you're welcome, you know, oh

Of course Go see Dan this weekend, man, you have to be like you go see Jay and Ontario, California. You really have to be like I this gives me this is giving me uncomfortable feeling cuz I've been to this kind of a thing. Oh No, it's not this You'll see record scratches. Oh, we've actually been working on a little something Yes, I saw at my friends wedding. It was very similar. Oh Song like push it. Oh, no, I'm not things. No, I hate this No, I hate this

I know there's people that have done this that are listening that are like fuck we did that Almost black Lou you you said no eventually put your foot down. Yeah, my wife friends wanted to do an insane dance We change who's wedding we have five four three two. Believe it, Jesus. Who's your best ball? Easy. You've been listening to Sirius XM's Bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on Sirius XM. Always on SiriusXM!