The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sad Proms

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

The guys reveal their sad memories of going to prom.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Who are the DevTones, Bobby? What? Who are the DevTones, Bobby? What? Who are the DevTones?

What? Maybe only America's premiere Mexican Sacramento-based fuck rock band? I can't hear you. You know, I took- Get it? I know, the DevTones. I got it. Christine, we took a couple of people

to go see the DevTones a year or so ago. Yeah. And one of the people is Isabella and Christine goes, it's a little sexy to take your daughter too. I'm like, we're not going as a date. I don't like what she's going with like five of us. It's a little sexy for your daughter. Ooh.

The DevTones. Well, it is like our background music for 12 years now. True, but it's not a, but it's not Exclusively that in the world like a concert's not sexy. No. Yeah, it's a good It's a thumb No, all right not sexy then there's chubby Mexicans from Sacramento. They're older gentlemen now also But still pretty cool. awesome life there are sexy concerts What sexy concerts and what's a sexy concert? I mean those sexy concert the cure wasn't sexy

Curie was not sexy is the opposite of sexy. Yeah, it was barbaric as monstrous Fucking Yeah, it was barbaric. There's monstrous Fucking yeah What's a sexy? I mean, no, I think of when I think of the cure a tub of shit A croca shit just a tub of shitty lipstick What a fucking melted candle of a dude. Oh fuck it, but uh You can have a couple sexy like Fuck it, but uh You can have a couple sexy like Songs probably the concert or moments you could have but an overall concert, especially for most people like when you play a catalog of music

It's too all over the place that band that Italian band sexy a shit Monoskin monoskin now stupid his name every but you're not gonna. It's not sexy. We're like I'm big You big you that's not sexy. That's what their other song is sexy, but I'm like I'm big, big, big, you. That's not sexy, that's not. They're other songs, it's sexy too. No, I'm sure they have sexy songs, but I'm saying you'd have a sexy song moment at a concert, but no concert, I would describe fully a sexy, like all around. Like don't bring your daughter, it's too sexy.

Sexy when I'm hard making out with a chicken to stand, though. Yeah, no, that'll be sexy as fuck, dude. I know you don't play games too. You go for it wherever you're at. I was in the, uh, whatever concert. No galagher. Jacob stays fucking on the lawn. I was making out with a chick during the Aerosmith Angel video.

I was at that concert that they filmed the video. Making out with a chick. The video takes place. It's him in like a box. Oh, they have a they have a Concert footage. They have a concert footage. Put on the angel video Justin silver one of the things that always makes him laugh to this day still is Cox is Cox. No, that doesn't make him laugh. That makes him sweat My stepmother's brother Joe

So my uncle Joe that was it moisture My my stepmother's brother Joe my uncle Joe. I fucking love Joe. That was in Worcester. My stepmother's brother Joe. My uncle Joe. I fucking love Joe. How's he doing? He's doing great. Tell him I said what's up. He never met him. Dude, come out of love.

He's so. They were, but you probably know a lot of Joe's in your life. I assume being from Boston. He's just, he owned, he's a contractor. I know one Joe and he's a douche. Yeah. D'Rosa. But he would just like, he's a douche. Yeah, there was a. But he would just like he did like construction work.

Yeah, and it was all his own. He was building his house forever. He just one of those guys. He drove a truck to head all kinds of shit dry wall in the back and broken things, doing eight jobs at once. And but I just loved working with him because through just osmosis, he knew like all the current radio songs and this is going back to like late 80s you know and it would just make me laugh so hard

this guy who I deemed as older even though it was like early 30s probably I deemed him as older singing those songs used to make me laugh and one of them was just angel by aerosmith when a part where he just goes, he's just firing like nail gun into the wall, and he goes, don't know what I'm gonna do. Without this blast, fire's a fucking nail right through his thumb. And like literally, it's like one of those like take it out

and like put tape on it and like you go to the doctor later, maybe. Yeah. He fell off, that guy was awesome. He's still awesome, I guess. I haven't seen him in years, but he fell off scaffolding at work one time and broke almost everything in his body. And then we went to go see him in the hospital.

And he had like, you know, it was all the cast and all those things all over his body. And he had a cigarette in his hand. He was like, like, lit and he was like, hey! You had to pull the chain up for his arm to go up and down. Dude, they were the best. Her brothers loved me. Her, she is my stepmother, did not enjoy my company.

Why? Uh, cause I was a probably little annoying fat turd and not her kid. Yep. Yep. That's what it was. I was an annoying fat turd. Cause he made the family leave Disney World

cause he was afraid of weather. Different from what? That was my dad's first other family What you left you made everybody leave Yeah, because of what well the skies were grace in the world is gonna end You didn't feel that as a kid that every time the skies got gray and like that Florida gray, which is almost black We're gonna die. I know. I've never. We're all gonna die out of here.

Sure. I know it's an adult now. Go get cover for a half hour. It'll pass. It'll be a beautiful sunny day and you'll have a wonderful time at Disney World. But I'll tell you what. It didn't bother me getting out of there because I was also the scream and cry at every ride until you would make me not have to go on it. Oh, what a shit time.

There you go. We have to get on the monorail to go back to the car to get out of here, and I freaked out about the monorail. Why? Because it was high up and a thing. I did my dad's split, and I just had only girl in me. I'll agree on that trip. I don't know, eight or nine. That's the content I was at.

I was in the crowd making that with Bonnie McFarland Nice. Oh that Bonnie she used to use me for sex damn she's married to your friend No, no, no, but it was it was Bonnie. I can't I can't say the last name, but her name was Bonnie used to Fucking use me for sex call me to come over and I wanted to be I wanted her to be my girlfriend So bad so bad and she would just call me why don't you come over and I would come over and she just we've the best sex ever. I mean oh And then she tell me to leave and not call me for like weeks Oh Bobby and then she called me to go to this concert and I was like yeah

I'll go and we started making out in the as the cameras were panning by the crowd. I'm right over to the right. And that's the ghost. We were making out. She's like, the camera's coming, the camera's coming. And she's just started making out with me to get on the video. So hot. And then we went home that night. She didn't do anything with me. Drop me off and didn't call me again. Oh, Bobby, did you give her this speech that, hey, I'm not just great looking at a beautiful amazing cock that fucks like a beast. I have a heart. Did you tell her that? I didn't have a chance to tell that. Because poor guy. Poor guy. She just wanted to fuck you. That sucks, man. What a tough

time for you. Of course you turned to drugs, Bobby. This was after drugs. Oh, really? What were you 13? When I do what I've heard, Bobby kicked drugs at 13 and a half. I was, I was, I think I was like 17 or 18 and 19 or something, but probably 19 going to a concert with a girl by yourself. When I quit drugs, I forgot how to talk to girls. So I had a, when I started talking to girls again after rehab and all that shit, I used to talk to them about like God. Oh, you know what I mean?

I'd be like, no, you know, spirituality and your higher power. And you know, I had a great day today because I was all like pro A8 from, yeah, I was on the steps. And girls are just walk away from me. Well, so it's funny, whenever you hear that song, I bet that never is in what comes in your head, right? That's always what comes in your head. Always, I always remember her make making out with

Isn't such a moment. I always said that's my thing. I know I've said on the show before about enough You've heard pretty brown eyes by mint condition, dude Me and Janessa Farragale dance to that it meant the fucking world to me that song for that reason she what's her name? Janessa Farragale I We have plenty of drops of j, just as when she called the show. Oh, I know, that's not it. Given a couple dose as well, we listen to pretty brown eyes. I'll always take this for a walk. Turn it up, Lou. Put it up my cans.

Rit and brand names. You you know I think yeah. Damn dude. I remember this song dude. I forget Jay. The way you treat me. I forget you are R&B before you are rock. Oh dude. I forget.

Full wigger dude. I forget rap Jay. Oh yeah. Black Jay. Black Jay. Black Jay. Oh you gonna get. Yeah. You got a little tail on tail on the black I got a tail on the black J with your Your pdd jacket. Oh hell yeah fat farm. Yeah fat farm and

Foo boo. Yeah, Foo boo. I did it all dude. Newport. I think you smoked menthol say let's smoke menthol say let's like an old I think you smoked menthol, salons. You smoked menthol. Salons like an old black house cleaner. Oh, yeah, you're fade going. Maybe you fade. Yes. Turn it up a little. Give me the cans.

I'm back, man. Just a fair again. Janessa, fair again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Janessa Faragallee. Yeah. Okay, that's the good life. You could feel her, you wanted to feel her close to you.

I did want that, Jacob. Unfortunately, no. Unfortunately, while I was making direct eye contact with the side of her head, while holding on for dear life, also, she's a dancer, so she's doing unnecessarily complicated moves I only got you the old guy I know you do jonesa and she does and that's right to the beef and beer benefit show for her dance school oh yeah remember the beef and beer where she didn't care afterwards she's like all right thanks for leaving the money, I guess. But I was staring, I was burning holes in the side of her head while she had one arm on my shoulder, one to one wanting, which I can do, but I wasn't prepared for

it. Just like instead of just doing like this simple like back and forth sways you're doing like a one doom Bob Bob but it was just too much. I switched the sides one two Bob yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's three so it's gonna be changing you're doing the two on the different side each time I'm with it But it was two it was the moment was huge I Left punishment for this I was supposed to be punished and I remember putting on a stupid white button down shirt over grey jeans and going I'm going to the dance and that was the dance where I dance with Jess Faragalli and then I took a Picture with me and another guy's girlfriend. He was just like sure you could take a picture with her

I didn't have a date So just me a picture of him and another girl and then I go to my dad's in Ohio and say it was my girlfriend That should be a that should be a t-shirt. Jannessa Farragale. Mmm. Like I honestly didn't know. He felt that way. Yeah.

She says she goes, I didn't know you were in to me. I go the entire school knew. It was a thing. I mean, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yes. No.

Yeah. That's a lie. No, it's not, yes, it's not a lie. Everybody was there and everyone remembers Now fuck that shit. I ever talked to one of anybody I went to high school with a genetic Faragalli She's wearing my starter jacket everybody. Oh, I meant the world to me No, well, she's doing a dance the extra step is the that she's into the dance and not into you She was the extra step you would only you would only do if you're not in the big as part while she was turned Head sideways because she was talking to friends who were dancing with their boy They were just having a girl talk and I was so zoned in and fucking up the steps. How did you not kill yourself? Turn it up, Lou. We break in my heart.

Picture Jay looking at the side of her head with all the love you could have and the side is heart. Looking at the side of her head with all the love you could have and side is hard and then I went and took a picture with Deanna Brady My my Mike Luciano I love you my gluciano just let he did no no concern of like that looks weird He was just like I guess you fat sad shit take my girlfriend if she does a mind And it's just me holding her hot. I got my hands on her hips and like the whole smile and she just like Janess yo ness Oh man

How can you not name those photos? No go back to the other one with all the girls in the bed or whatever because I'll show us the other one my favorite one Courtney Schwartzberg that now other one Cozy Schwartzberg there in the middle in the black shirt there's Samantha Montevani on the left That's who Janess is saying that you on the right and drag Fuck is that poor ronda. Oh my god I know underneath was ronda. You know you're a fat chick when you have to wear a vest Poor ronda man. Well, I'll say it's funny. Well, I'm just a big girl man. Run as a big girl fucking. I

She is a big girl man. Run as a big girl. Fuck it, I left that school in 11th grade, moved to South Jersey in the middle of the year. Friends and everybody wanted me to come to the junior prom. So I was like, who am I going to go with? And they go Courtney Schwartzberg, the girl in the black. Okay, she's cute. And here's the thing, but Courtney was very- Who's the blonde way over to the left?

Buddy, that's Samantha Mothavon. He's the blonde way over to the left buddy. That's Samantha Month of honor. That's her That's the month of on it. She looks different than the other pitch of it. She's hot Samantha Month of oh yeah, we show we looked at her up the other day. She was the girl in school. Oh, that was my prom date That's why I lost my virginity too She's hot old the old neighbor School she was 22 what's her name Holly? Yeah, she's 22. She's 22. Nice. Great. Nice. So great.

Grateful dead chick. Did she drive? Uh, she did drive. I drove also at that point. Did you have to be back early to relieve her babysitter for her kids? Probably wrote in this opportunity to live in like you did you wanted to. Some of us were almost 17. Yeah, we make a good point. But uh, Courtney Schwartzberg, they were like, she's not going with anybody. You should go with her.

And she was like, sure, let's do it. I was literally like, this is just a way to get to the dance and whatever. She walked down the stairs like an 80s movie. She looked so good. Do you have the picture of them all to dance, I think, in Janessa's thing? She looks, yeah.

That's her right behind Janessa, looking all good. Where is she? The, uh, so forth from the left. Okay, so that, so the first one, who's the first one? Chrissy? Chrissy Carter. And the second one is the big girl, right? I mean, Ron, that's so much, she has to cover her arms. Or Ron, she has to cover arms with lace. I don't remember the second one in his name. and then Mary and something on the end Mary ends hot on the very end. Yeah, she's all right. That's the kind of girl. Yeah, dude That's definitely a Bobby Kelly girlfriend. She just talked shit. She'll fist fight with you

Yeah, I like that, but Courtney came down looking good and at the end of the night. I was such a dummy Feeling I was doing like the nerd girl of favor by going I to dummy, feeling I was doing like the nerd girl of favor by going. I think I told Rhonda, I was like, yeah, tell Courtney that she wants to look, I haven't had sex this point by the way either. Oh, you're still a virgin. Yeah, and I go nothing, no touching or sucking. I think maybe a couple making out, but no, nothing like, like, oh, you know, it's funny when I was really young with like neighbor girls, which is weird. Yeah, probably too much. And uh, but then yeah, that kind of shit.

Showing tell what's this? Yeah, look at this here. Let me see yours in a fucking closet. A culpire brother. Oh, boy. It was a lot. Did he come in and shut the door? He was one of those panel doors in a basement, you know, under the stairs, and Philly, and he opened it and moved it. And I think I have my hands like in her pussy. In it? I think so, yeah. You know, you're doing? I was saying out loud, I don't know what I'm doing,

but I did know what I was doing, buddy. I had a girl come over my house sixth grade. They girled down the end of the block, I forget her name, and she got naked. And I drew with a sharpie faces on her vagina. That's fun because I didn't know what to do with a vagina. I just I had a sharpie I just drew a face because it looked like a mouth She went home and a mom she couldn't get it off so mom got mad and their brother beat the shit out of me for drawing

faces on her his sister's pussy Wait, let me finish kicking your ass. He was like and don't tell people why I did this I had a big nose on it Little muppet mouth. My good name is Michelle. Yeah, he can't remember I've seen him going down this street and he was so mad and he just grabbed me and started tossing me around Don't have a draw my my sister's Of a jiner again. I was like huh? It's a pussy. Oh, yeah I knew again, I was like, huh? I didn't even understand what it was.

It was a pussy. Oh yeah, yeah. I didn't say pussy. Cornie Schwartzberg, I told Rhonda that I've let my guard down and I'm gonna allow her to be with me this evening essentially. And she was like, oh, she's not interested in that at all. And I was like, and I think I just left the after party. You left?

Yeah, there was nothing. I was late. I mean, it was like the after party thing. You walked home by yourself, did you take a jacket off and throw it over your shoulder? No Just walk down the street and it started raining and you got scared because I drove I drove away There's a cloud you started crying. We learn a limo or something. I just left. I don't know

Maybe I get my maybe I got my mom to come pick me up mom come pick me up. This girl's not gonna have sex with me Okay, maybe I got my mom on the come pick me up mom on come pick me up this girl's not gonna have sex with me Mom come get me this girl's not putting out Why you're such a lovely young man. Why wouldn't she want to make love to you? I don't know mom Bobby you had so much sex it is such an early age. I'm so yeah, I really regret it. I'm so much easier to say now. I'm Envious. Yeah, so super envious you tell all these stories. I'm like damn man. I wish I had I order of that I wish I didn't oh it's a blessing and a curse it fucked me up It's like me up later a life is fuck me up. You're Bobby look Bobby. I wish I didn't man

I wish I didn't like you get so you saw that warm and wet It's just like and then what then the rest of the world feels icy cold Because now I have to draw faces on Don's pussy to have an orgasm. Okay, but that's okay. That's what evolution I have to sketch. I think between I think you and Lewis had by far the most Sex out of everyone at a young age. Yeah, young age. Well, I was in the 80s, though. 80s, 70s.

Lewis Johnson. Yeah. By the way, Luke, who did you go to? How was your prom like? I have pictures that hit sent us. Yeah, I mean, you've told us. What? Oh my God.

Wow. What the fuck? And you made fun of my sneakers? How do we use to have a sex at 16? I don't know that early stuff like Bobby. I would throw me into the bus 16 is pretty early I mean we're in the same club you were 11 you said Easy a lot different than 10 is that crazy? I started having sex at. Isn't that a lot different than if I started having it at 11? Did I say it before that young black Lou looks like the cop

who was involved in probably killing two-pocker biggie? I forget which one it was. Orlando, whatever. Look up cop or lando. Yeah, he has a big soul. Yeah, he looks at this. The dude from Rampart. That's it.

I'll tell you, I didn't love that hat. These girls' fathers. Because they should go with a pimp. You going with a pimp? the dude from rampart that's it i'll tell you to love that hat these girls fathers because she go with the pimp you going with a pimp you started at sixteen but i mean it took off it did for a little while but that's just school i mean dress like that though you have to have that's just a guy slanted jake up we were all there or Jacob no i don't i didn't fuck a girl in high school from high school. I don't know. I fucked while I was in high school, but it was the girl I lost my virginity to.

And then I was fooling around with a girl who I did go to high school with right after high school was over, and then right to my long term problematic girlfriend. I know that's extra girls in high school either. I always sex with outside. Yeah, they were in their 40s No, they loved you because your abs and it sucks too because you're really looking for a connection and they just want to suck you off whenever you said the word They just want to drain your balls of common any given corner and that's I'm sorry, dude. I have to have me sorry that you went through that Christine give a picture of Orlando What's his face to see if it looks like black it's not coming up when i search for a land of police chug night

right so that's good in that suit that's good so well he looks fantastic that hat is ridiculous is there more lando would you get that hat though that's an expensive had it seems like that what part of the time did you get that hat no that was uh... from a place called Swab Sito. It was a cash on delivery service that I did not pay.

That had a high-teen box, dude. Do you got the Columbia House CD of suits? Absolutely. Absolutely. For the listening audience, it's a big rimmed red hat. I know we're just talking about a hat that nobody understands. It really is.

I think everybody got one I said he looks exactly like the guy who helped kill Tupac. Or Biggie. It's because he wore the red. So it's like the grips or the bloods. That's blood's cop, shug night friend. He's like a part owner of, what was it called?

Death Row. Did the hat come with the suit? Or did you have to put it came all together like a costume at party city. Plane of suit, suit, yeah. Yeah. All in one. Is this the cab cowboy collection? Yeah.

Hadi, Hadi, Hadi, Ho. It's a red suit with black pins stripes. Yeah, it's a hundred percent like a chug night fucking. Absolutely. Album drop. It looks like, Louis, looks like you play stand-up base 100% like a Shug Knight fucking absolutely album drop Little looks at you play stand-up base outside of a window in an alley to a girl going is you is or is you ain't my baby? Because if you is come here and give me a kiss Hey, it's everything and it fits in perfect. Yeah, so he looks great black black. Blue. You're a gorgeous young man

I mean you're still a good good-looking but back then you were, I mean, wow. Yes, why he's slayed ass. Really good slay ass. Christine, should night, cop. All white chicks, too. There's no blood cop. You didn't go with any black chicks back in the day? Oh, you don't know his background?

Oh, no, not, not many. But that girl in the bottom that I flew out of, Georgia, it was half-life. Shut up, dude, you found him doing it in the bottom that I flew out of Georgia. It was half-life Shut up, dude. You found doing it in the in the damn what a memory Okay, I get it. I get it. Look there's that why you have a disgusting face on Put that girl right there. Yeah, she had bad breath and your fucking nose is right at her mouth Look how happy is with all the white girls. He's smiling. He's with the half black Milato girl He's like whatever I know he's like oh man. He's smiling. He's with the half black Milato girl is like whatever

I know he's like oh man. He wouldn't go with me. I know her daddy broke. I had to take Tanya That's literally her name is it really it's Tanya. Yeah, that's fucking crazy Fucking prom Christine anything should night cop friends. I'm looking is it heaven games? Nope I've seen anything, Shug Knight, cop friend. I'm looking, is it Kevin Gaines? Nope. There he is, right over to the left. Nope. Is not him?

No, okay. It's a hard crime to solve. You may never find the answer. I mean, it's just part of every single documentary ever that he had this friend. I might be wrong about Orlando. I've seen so many, and I still don't know the answer. You don't know who I'm looking at.

You know what he looks like. Set your clothes. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. They wear red suits with Shug Night. It's always that picture of him and Shug Night wearing. He looks exactly like Black Lou in this picture. It's such an audio.

It's such a visual joke. It doesn't matter. Jacob. Jacob, 100% move on. Probably move on. Just Christine, anything on that, though? Shug Night. The top.

I mean, friend. Is this actually Shug Night or is it? They're obsessing. That's Shug Night. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. the friend sessing that's should not happen it's not going to happen why would you say it looks like should night when we go on break and i find it in three seconds okay to behold christines job in the balance do we hold it in the balance we can't send out this picture anyway

why can't why with the girl we have to don't have to blur a face. Yeah, we can blur. She's not sucking a dick. Protect her family. Blurred if you're gonna send out, but no problem. Damn. Now, let's say we're just trying to show that Louis hung out with ugly chicks. We don't want you to see what they look like. Living in the mystery, they were beautiful. None of them are ugly. You didn't go to your prom, right, Jacob? No. Oh God, that's sad. Oh. Oh, all right. You know, I'm pretty sad.

Is this Christ? I asked. Nobody would go. How many did you ask? Two girls. You asked two girls and what did they say? It's a low number. No.

They just said no. I can't. Yeah. I can't. One said no. Yeah, she just said no, sorry. She can cringe. She can cringe about it, but it really works.

I'm committing suicide that night. She's just crazy. Oh, I would, but I it was suicide that night. She's surprised. Oh, I would, but I'm committing suicide that night. It's a hard thing to do to ask a girl to prom. Especially if it's not your girlfriend. The trick is to have a girl you're dating and then you go. That's the best. You have the girlfriend.

Yeah. I brought a girl who was, she graduated the year before. My, she was my girlfriend. Yeah. So she came and we didn't rent the limo. I rented a fancy Mercedes and Then we pulled up and we there was limo's hanging out for the other kids. They dropped them off I just went I gave the guy a 20 and I said can you just drive us around the block?

So they drove us around the block and like one of the biggest limos and we got out and got our pictures taken in Somebody else's fucking limo nice and then we went in and we did our, I don't remember dancing. I don't remember, I remember it was just we were hanging out, we danced a couple things and we got the fuck out of there. Yeah. Yeah, problems were never. I brought a girl who was in her second year at Hanuman Nursing School at Hanuman University. She was 22 years old.

I brought her. I don't remember. We drove there in Joe's Toyota Corolla stick shift. And then we got out of there. Before the end end of the night, I went down to the shore. And so I told you, it was a whole comedy of errors that whole weekend. Like the first night, we stopped at 7-11, before we went to the hotel. And this was going to be like my third time fucking maybe. She found she found them that's areas David Mack I was very wrong in the name. It's a hundred percent

It does look like him. I don't know it does it does Jacob no one can really see it. You know, you just say it looks like them also because it does Yeah, it's weird to be contrary when no one can see it. You're like now, no, you're wrong. Stupid waste of time. Yeah, we don't know. You're wrong. We have no context so nobody can know what we're talking about right now. No, just fair point.

Just you know, the guy David Mack looks exactly like Black Lou. It does. Two-pots manager. So I've David Mack at the Biggie murder. That's okay. Yeah, he does. He does, doesn't it? Yeah, he killed Biggie, I guess.

I think it's the same suit. It's the same exact suit. Same exact place. You have to have balls to her hat To prom to prom no not if you're black and I not predominantly black school also Really yeah, prom to time where you can really black at the fuck up I mean coming seriously just dress like Nick can and do work be dazzled turbans and shit because they're gonna be like yo He's going for and no one's gonna go over to you and be like, you'll get an asshole.

Nobody would. But everybody's, it's a tuxedo. Like everybody on prom would go to the tux place in town and we'd all get whacked out in these stupid tux. Tuxedo, sure. Right? Matching your girl's dress. Match it and you get the, what is it called?

The flower. The cummer bun and then you get the, what's the flower called? Not a boost? Yeah, a boot near a boot near and you put it up you go up at her parents. They'd open the door You put it on the mother of course, I's of course, I was that's it and then you go yeah Well the boot nears for the man though. That's what the flower on the jacket's called you So did honey. Thank you mom, mom. But obviously, women, yes, Jacob.

On my prom night, I spent it in the basement. Under the bleachers? No, with my friend, Louise, who is a foreign exchange student from Spain, we were the two dipshits that couldn't get dates. I was so ashamed that I didn't even want my mom to see me. She was upstairs. She thought you went to prom. No, no, no, she knew, but I couldn't face her.

Oh, like her boy, even her boy couldn't even get a date, but the only silver lining. My friend, who was the only one of us who could get a date, came by way too early from the prom to tell us that his girl left with a dude and she banged that guy that night. She left him at the prom. Left him at the prom. They just say he came back. I think he came back covered in blood. He goes, they carried me.

He goes, they, they Stephen King's carried me. So don't go to school on Monday because I blew it all up with fire. I love that you added Stephen King because we were all like, I think because everybody said Carrie feels like Carrie like up in the air. But the film Carrie where they poured pigs blood on her from the film. I get it. John Carpenter I think made it.

No, no, no. But it was Stephen King book. Carrie. Yeah. Sissy Spacock. Sissy Spacock. For sure. Sissy Spacock see space is it again?

This is space at K. So see space. I remember they showed pussy. They showed a pussy in the in carry. There's a most ridiculous. I think we've talked about this carries opening scene in the girls locker room is the director's dream of what a girl's locker room is. They're all like towel snapping. They're all naked. They're all fighting. And then carrying its her period and they all naked laugh at her and throw tampons.

Which is insane. But yeah. It does set the mood for the movie. It does set the show. Yes, she shows her little ginger beaver in this. Then now did you have a shower in high school? Not one time ever I did they didn't have them in my school I was in from kindergarten to 11th grade senior year and the half of the 11th grade I went to a school it did have that but I was just like I'll just not overexert at Jim class Like I just you know, I mean Jim class at that point I was I never understood why you'd have to take a shower for like a kid in the middle of the day playing two innings of baseball.

I'm like, what do I have to really like? Well, I took, I was taking my heart. My life card license, I was getting, becoming a life-guided school. So I would go in early, to take the course, to all the part. You'll be there on fuck a teacher. And then you'd have to go shower for school,

I'd go in and shower. Really? Yeah. You liked it, you liked everybody seeing for school. I'd go in and shower. Really? Yeah. You liked it. You liked everybody seeing your penis? I did not. It was very embarrassing. And you always gave a mass hole. The worst time ever, the first time I went to Juvee jail,

you go, you get arrested, go to court. And then they set a court day for you. You get sent back to jail. The jail downstairs in the courthouse, and then they ship you out to these places. You go to this one place called Outtake, and then they find out where a bed's open and then you go to another place, the place you're going to stay at. It's a Juve Hall.

That's the Juve Hall. So they ship me out to this place and it was a very bad place. What kind of play group homes? No, it was a jail for kids. I saw it's just another facility. Well, you have to go out to the country, you go from jail, the courthouse jail, to out to the country,

to where they send all the kids to this outtake, and they figure out where this beds, and then another van comes and gets you and ships you to that, Juvie Hall, all over Massachusetts. And I got a very bad one. And for my first time in, and I was shackled to two 17 year olds,

17, I was 18. Why not? I was 13, no white dudes. No white dudes. White guys. Yeah, it was bossed. It was Boston. Oh no.

Yeah, we were racist even with our crime. Yeah. Yeah, this is whitey bulge your Boston. And they take you in and they make you you have to go in this room with this guy get naked, do squats, and then you have to go shower. And that was the first time I had a shower. You squat to make sure there's no drugs up your ass. Yeah. You just make you work out and for them naked like Corey Feldman. But it's a weird thing. You've already been searched a bunch of times

I don't know why they think I'm hiding a kilo of heroin in my house on 13 Well, it could have been way up there. It's gotta be making its way down now one more time Dude, give me a couple of those bag squats, but then not to the floor They would then you had to go into the shower with the other two guys and I was oh They had like regular guy decks with pubes. Oh God man. It was. I really saw your teeny peony.

My teeny peony dude, it was so. I'm there, would you Bobby? It was humiliating. I hated it. It's worse. If I had a fight about Juve, but I mean just had to do the showers in high school, it was the worst.

Yeah, but they're decovenants, you know, they just started soaping up their hogs. Yeah. If I woke up with a big cowering. If I woke up with a big cock tomorrow, like a real big swinging cock, I'd join a gym immediately for the sole purpose of showing people

in the locker room my shit. Your stuff? Yeah, because I've spent a life of like, I had to shower at a gym one time because it was one of the 7,000 are building in the East Village was like, guys, I hope it's not a problem, but we're turning off the hot water for a day and a half. That is a problem.

We don't have to go to like the gym and one time I'd do it. And it was just Lewis describes it as a fucking dream. I'm like, it's a nightmare. I hate it. I used to go to the New York sports club here and have to go from working out two shows Like downtown. I would shower. I would Especially now I couldn't imagine getting naked in the locker room now having somewhat of you know God forbid somebody just walks by. Hey dude crack a crackle. Oh God. Oh

No, don't tell people don't tell people don't tell people. Don't tell people. Hey, you know, I mean I just fucking suck just seeing some guy staring at you, a little tiny mushroom. Oh, looking at it, too, he goes, wow, I wouldn't have pictured big J.O.K.R.S. and not so big, huh? You went to the New York Sports Club that was in this building? No, I went to the one over in Times Square. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one, I used to go to that one at a time. Yeah, I used to go downstairs

and during my lunch break. Did you shower? I had to, because I had to come back on another few hours here. Oh. And yeah, I mean, showering. And but I've said this before,

the confidence with the, when the guys who have an enormous penis, they'll have a full on, they'll talk on their phone. Yep. And so that you can see their giant dick for 10 minutes. They talk to you. Yeah. They'll be like, hey, what's up, man? I don't know.

It's their living room. Look at my dick, dude. It's like rock hard right now. It's rock hard right now. Jake, if you know what sucks, we were gonna have a prom where you would have had a date. I know. We even got in late that night, but unfortunately,

and I have to apologize for this on a personal level, I don't know how to do live radio. So for that reason, we're not going to put a problem on there for I can't bring to you that thing. I'm to blame for that too, because if Dan was here, it might, it maybe it would have happened. Do you be prom city right? I'm gonna say no there.

Doesn't Jim would rather have one soda back than big J or Bobby Kelly and we're stupid and ugly and we're both fat. I apologize man. So sorry. Yeah but it was we had a whole thing planned here. Take it, you'd be tearing up ass after a prom. You would have just felt all the emotions all over again. You would be, this is better, leagues better

than original prom ever could have been. We're all gonna have been into it. You would have been so into it. And then in the last moment, I would have pulled a bucket and poured blood all over your goddamn body. We did have that. That was what happened.

I was gonna full blown carry you. But it was gonna be period blood. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. You know, when you guys had mentioned it,

I think I told the loser this, I'm actually starting to sweat. I have to get a prom date now. It's like high school all over again. We had it set up, dude. Yeah, we're you're gonna you're gonna be the guy. What was my favorite, one of my favorite American dad jokes ever was Stan went to prom and they made it,

like he was gonna be the prom king, they did it, but they dropped pigs on them, like live pigs. And the guy goes, what are you doing? He goes, it was supposed to be pigs blood. And he goes, oh, I stopped reading the book. He goes, you stopped in the middle of a sentence at the word pigs. I didn't finish the book. You stopped at the word pigs. That sucks. I'm sorry, buddy. Damn, Jacob. We'll have some kind of a dance off air.

Maybe we'll learn. Maybe next year we'll do better radio. No chance. Okay. That's what the brain did me, dude. We are who we are, dude. We are not good at radio. And that's the way it's going to stay. Yeah.

Sorry, buddy. It's never going to happen. Uh, Jim, when contract season comes up, just know, we're not going to be any better this. We're going to expect more, but we're not going to be any better this. We're gonna expect more, but we're not gonna be any better. You guys, hey, can you guys describe Nevermind? Oh, Nevermind, I guess. Oh, man.

Who was your prom date? A friend. You were as a friend. What was his name? Ryan. Ryan. Melissa. Oh, Melissa.

Hey, Melissa. Hey, Melissa. But she was a friend. You wanted to. Oh, Melissa. Hey, Melissa. Hey, Melissa. But she was a friend. You wanted to hook up, though. Yeah, but she was not having it. Did you go for it that night? Like throw it out there like, hey, we really had an amazing time. I think we should do something. No, I was fat and I knew that I couldn't get her, but she was a great younger, so that's why I took her. Oh, you thought maybe the older guy thing would work. I had a car, the one that you had a push to start, so I had her and all of my-

You had Dan LaRouce's mom car? Yes. You had a Mrs. LaRouce? Her and all of her hot friends used to push me around the neighborhood, I would take them where they would want to go, but they would have to get out and push my embarrassing car. I was, I would cart, and I wonder if they knew it. And it was anything malicious, never felt malicious,

but I was definitely like a dude. I would cart around like five of the girls from school like that necessarily don't always like talk to me like all day long. Like acquaintances, you know what I mean? But like all of a sudden all of them, I'm giving them a ride to like here or there when I had a car and I was like, so happy to be like, in like all of a sudden all of them I'm giving them a ride to like here there When I had a car and I was like so happy to be like in my mind. I was like yo

I'm driving around with a car full like the hot chicks from school like this looks pretty awesome nothing It was it was on a road to nowhere. I think they they think they left me with like Like no one had enough money when we all went to eat for lunch one time and I had like $20 allowance Remember I was like oh my god. I don't even like sure. Here's all my money. I wasn't gonna go by tapes with that or anything. That's one of my favorite.

You were the guy you Orion from best friends. I mean that movie. Oh yeah, Orion. Yes, I do remember Amy smart. Dude, what about that's my favorite movies of all time. Really? Yeah, romcom guy. I'm a you know, I like cheesy shit.

Yeah, that's cheesy. All right, that's a great. It was funny though. When he's singing at the beginning, this fat. Yeah, that's cheesy alright. That's a great. It was funny though when he's singing at the beginning this fat Yeah, I swear Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds man. No, it's a very funny. I actually funny in that movie Amy smart. Oh, she's so funny in that movie I just met her where? She was like a weird location of the bird christ your tour

She was backstage the tour it was someone pressure tour. She was backstage the tour. It was the first day I did what Lewis was. That's Jay. Oh, for sure. For sure. I'm telling you with that song, that pretty brown eyes song, it was definitely like, my mind, I'd listen to it. Like, there was something in my mind that was like, believed almost. I'm like, well, this is R. Jan. This is me and her as thing. She had no emotional attachment to it whatsoever. But I genuinely was like, I know she, I knew she didn't, but I was like, but it means something to me. Right. I'm a list. I'm most of the songwriting on Think About Her. Jay, what are you doing? Thinking. Oh, I feel bad. Why could you were just getting gangbanged

at 11? Reverse G-bead. I remember I used to go to the seventh and eighth grade dances when I was too young to get ice to sneak in. And there was a girl, Carol Kofflin, blonde, smoke, and I loved her. I used to beat her with a caveman plastic bat. Okay. When she used to come down my street because I just liked her so much and she would come

down I would hit her. I just get nervous. Why is it Christine? just liked her so much and she would come down and I would hit her. I just get nervous. It's why I do Christine, I love her so much. I remember we were at the dance, she was with her friends and I had a pack of cigarettes and she goes, hey, can I get a cigarette? And there was a song on and I went like this,

I took a cigarette out and I did this and I handed it to her. Oh my God. And describe it, Jay. You my God. I described it, Jay. You're doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's almost doing like the worm arm thing, but he's just doing it like one arm. Like he just, I just gives her three waves

and then presents a cigarette. I took it out and went like this. When she took it, you should have dropped down to the splits, came back up in the split and spun around and snapped both your fingers and walked away. She took it with a disgusted face. It went thanks. Yeah. And then walked around. And then when B 52s came on at the end of the prom with the rock lobster, yeah, I went over to her and I was going down, down, down, and I got on the floor and then then, dum, dum, dum, dum, and then I started flipping out

on the floor and doing the thing, yeah. And I remember them doing this laughing at me, but I, and hindsight, I think they were laughing at me and not with me. I thought it was. Well, were you trying to be funny or were you like, I'm canaling it right now? I was killing it.

They were laughing at them, Bobbie and the Relafrican. They were killing it. And I brought that in, when I got sober, I used to go to AA dances. So every Friday and Saturday night, we would go to a church basement and they have AA dances and it's all sober kids 1819-20 and all the people and you dance and this was my fucking jam This is my jam and I did a flip one night. There was a hot chick looking at me across the way There's a hot chick looking at me across the way. I had a couple coffee. I think I was hitting that fucking dress.

Jesus Christ. Just 14 year old drinking coffee. So I did a flip and I fucking, my legs went numb. You mean like a tumble sauce? Yeah, I did a tumble sauce and I hit my back the wrong way and I felt my legs go numb and I thought I paralyzed myself. Oh, it's hilarious. And I just had a lie on the ground and she goes, she was like, come here.

And I was like, I can't crawl over to a seat and just sit down. You, Christine, you take a picture of, you get me, Bobby and Jacob in the picture. It looks like me were telling Jacob bedtime stories when we were younger because it's okay, Jacob, get some sleep. But you'll go to prom one day like me and Bobby why are you so cold? I told you the blowers over me. It's just it couldn't be that cold but you get it? Jacob's bedtime stories?

It can't be that cold. It can't be that cold. I know you're right. You're right. You're right. You know why? You do look for distracting ridiculous but it doesn't mean you can definitely do it to a certain age It's the beauty. Don't care. Now you care. Listen to that prom story, dude. We should get you a show hat does hurt the

Brings it all back up again Brings it all back up again. Everything's flooding back to me. Nobody had, except for Lou, had a good prom story. None of us had a perfect prom. My prom sucked. What do you mean, Christine was doing fucking coke and running with boys to premise gangs? I actually, I was sober because I got sober my senior year. Oh. And I was supposed to go to my prom. There was this guy. I was like dating my boyfriend but then there was a guy that went to the school that didn't have a date and I was going to go to my prom. There was this guy. I was like dating my boyfriend But then there was a guy that went to the school that didn't have a date and I was gonna go with him And I ended up like blowing it off like I decided I didn't want to go and the guys like

You're going before me and I'm before I didn't want to go. No, it was nothing like the guys like dad called me and like It was a weird thing. He was ready to go and you you It wasn't like night of but it was pretty close I just decided called you and said what I'm other than my son go with you. He was like so are you sure you don't want to go That means he had to talk with his parents and they were like I still feel bad about it Let me take you to a give her a call and you were still like yeah, I'm not happening old man And I was hot too because I had just done drugs. I was thin wait you told you bailed on him 125 you bailed on him she bailed on him. 125. You bailed on him. She bailed on him a couple of days before

and the father made the phone call for the kid because he was probably crying. Yeah, he was my neighbor too, it was like, how's phones? We were talking on. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, I should have gone.

I should have just gone. I was just kind of, I just gotten sober. It was kind of weird to like go back to school. I just didn't want to go. I didn't want to deal with it. All right. So you didn't go to the prom at all? Mm-hmm. You didn't go to the prom. No, but I went to dances. Like, I went to my middle school dances. My neighborhood dances. My homecoming dances.

I thought they're doing your father-daughter dance, where you drizzling assholes. Oh, you have my father-daughter dance with my dad. That picture is adorable. I was just on drugs for a junior and senior. You've never seen Christina and they're fucking... No. Annie, a little chubby, Annie Oakley, and her little guns and her fringes.

Oh, so forth. Will you chubby as a little girl? Oh yeah. Yeah, Dawn was a fatty too. Yeah. Yeah, I was 200 pounds at 11. Dawn was in the, she was a cheerleader, but she was the bottom of the pyramid.

You saw her fucking on the bottom, holding up seven girls. But they get together, that's how you get a. That's how you get a hot chick with personality. You're really, you got the right. It was that. That's how you get a hot chick with a person nice. She's able to fucking thrust other women's body weight over her head comfortably while chanting.

I tried to be a cheerleader and on drill team. I got on the flag team is where I was at. What's the flag team? Colorful marching dance. Fat cheerleaders. Oh really? Yeah, well some of them are really cool and the praise are not all fat but whatever. Am I school? Nope, they're not cool. They're not they're not the color. The color. The color was never cool. I thought it was kind of cool color God yeah, like Christine. So it's like Rhonda. Oh wait a little Christine

Wasn't that guy in kill bill yeah What the f- That's my dad. He choked jerk to death. He was. He was. You dad. You dad.

I'll see you tell him this picture that Christine's parents had her when they were already 71 years old. 38. Wow. You dad is. He's a cowboy. Yeah, my dad's a dude. Yeah, he's a dude.

Is that a hay next to you? Would you yeah with a fuck did you get a hay it was the girl's father daughter dance? So it was a theme dance. There's one of me in a flapper out. Is that your lunch? He goes if he's keep it too far away from her she'll freak out won't take the picture You wanted to calm down put that hay next door and look at her face. She's like Should you shit on the floor You look adorable. It is a thing though fat girls like vests damn Jacob you dream about having sex with that you pedophile piece of shit Where's the sexy you have a sexy Christine? Can I see sexy Christine? I mean I'm looking at her now of course, but oh

You're welcome. I'll say if Jay does me see what my that's crazy Bob. There's like no cameras around that time apparently Tells me those times all the time but but there was like no cameras for some reason. Well, I think it was when everything was between disposable cameras and these cameras. Yeah, there was a couple of years of technology blip when they were like, what are we doing? Not her fault. And nobody had cameras.

That could happen at any time. And this is a very short amount of time. I went to like 196 really quick. Because of drugs. Yeah, because I was thin, I was super thin, and so there's like a couple months where I was on my way of drugs. Yeah, because I like I was thin. I was super thin. And so there's like a couple months or so my way back up. Yeah, but I mean very quickly. I was fat again. Right. And that's when she rolled down the hill in the my life. Jay's like, what's that noise?

He's my class started shaking him. See trees. A tree shaking. Syphil goes, she's coming! Fucking Toyota gets smashed off the highway. That's how many fats are you having? I received a sexy one at that Christine. How many fats have you had Christine? Well, I grew up fat and then I lost weight and then I gained it back.

And then right around the time actually me and Jay started dating I had gotten back up to almost 200 pounds and I kind of got myself back down but I I live at like 175 So you had a couple I've never like actually lost the weight again. Right right. I've just you know not been 200 Good now. You look good. Thanks. Hey look great What Jay what Jay what what say something oh what was the conversation you said you look good Christine said thanks yeah that seems like a cutting dry conversation no jump in oh hey hey Christine thank you to Bobby better thank you Bobby really went out of his way to say a beautiful compliment to you. Thank you Jay. I mean it was kind of rude

Hey Christine. Thank him harder for what he said to you Yeah, I don't like the Don's old photos to stank. You know, I mean like if you if you had a pick You're your wife or your girlfriend from photos when they were kid. I would never have picked on No, I've picked Christine, but she would just be you know she'd be on cocaine heavily at that point You'll co-Christine No, I met Christine when we first are dating like I Mean still, but I'm saying like when I we first are dating I wasn't like I didn't think I was like

With like an alright-looking chick like I was Why first but Christine? I thought she was really pretty. I mean I was pretty too. I'm used like when we first started dating I wasn't like I didn't think I was like With like an alright looking chick like I was Why first but you see and I was like I thought she was really pretty. I'm used to her now Me you like me you like the same type of girl the brunette. Yeah, yeah, that brunette nice eyes Yeah, you know if she's pretty but not so pretty that your friends are gonna try to fuck her. Yeah And then you settle for that And you go you you know what? Could be worse. Yeah, you should. And I was actually 10 pounds heavier

than I am now when I first started doing charity. Ew. What was I doing? Ew, what? I haven't done coconut most a decade, but I guess I'll go fuck myself. Have you seen girls? Have you seen girls that you used to date that were smoking hot?

And then you look at them now and you're like, oh, I dodged a fucking bullet. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. I've seen a couple of them on Facebook. Well, I go through most of the hot girls from high school and the thing. I was also the youngest person in my class by

year so they're all even like a year older than me. No genius. No, no, no, I've December birthday. I was joking. Yeah, no, you thought it was. He goes, Bobby, anyway, that was when I went to space, high school, just in high school, just learn about space. No.

Jay Ogerson, genius. Thank you, no. That's true. I have for that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no also no, I didn't watch them slowly age and see if they hit a wall Five years ago or ten years ago. It's just you look and you're like, oh wow. It's been 25 years You're like whoa, right whoa. Whoa is right full gray some of them like completely like accepting You know some of them just like married moms and just like except that they don't look good or anything But it's just like you're like oh, this was like a hot girl

when I was 16. Yeah. Did I mean so it's like, oh, wow, now I'll take a lady. Yeah. Who's got like a 16 year old kid, which is bizarre. I reach out to the kids. Well, I thought I was gonna like be with, be married. And I'm like, I hate it.

I'm like, thank God that didn't happen. I would not be happy now. My ex girl. I would not be happy. There's one of them that I was in love with. She broke my heart, she fucked. She cheated on her fiance with me. Nice.

And then we became, that was a girl I brought to the prom. And then she cheated on me with him later, like two years later. That's high school, or? And she cheated on me with him later, like two years later. That's high school, alright. And she cheated on me with him. And I caught them in the car. And I kinda, I let it slide,

because I just didn't wanna lose her. And then she went to college, which if your girl's going to college, she's gonna fuck somebody. She's about to be a college wallet, dude. Yeah, she joined a sorority and she started going to the hockey games to sorority girls had to go and support the hockey team. And she made me I was going to

arts school the time. Where'd you go to school? Yolo University? It's up. She made me make I was I had I was doing airbrush at the time You know me I get obsessed and airbrushing just came out so I bought like the most expensive airbrush machine out there Bobby's airbrushing fucking Tweety bird t-shirts for fat women in Boston. So so I airbrushed their logo on On hoodies the sororities logo and the hockey teams little logo for all with some with some of course white shine Astro X is buddy if I could get one of these sweatshirts I mean it would I do it I spent I stayed up all night because I had to do it and I had to do like 12 of them

And then it just got progressively worse as I got tired and I remember I gave her all the hoodie those sweat shirts and they warmed to the game She's like thanks and then I found out she was fucking one of the hockey players. Oh, Jesus Huh, you gave a shirt to that guy. I gave a shirt. No, she wore it to support him And my boyfriend made me this to come watch and fuck you Pretty sure she she got fucked in that. Oh with that a doubt. She at least made him breakfast the next morning in it. You know he probably was like this is the shirt sucks. You're breakfast a shitty artist. I'm

just gonna come on this if you don't mind. If you don't mind is what I'm gonna wipe all of my come off of my dick and off of your back and tits and face. I would get involved. If girls just wanted me to do something, the terms of turnouts, like a simp, I would do the thing. I remember like, you know, I draw, I used to love drawing all the time, so I would draw, for some reason I would get on these kicks of something, I'd figure it out and do it on my binder, and then I would just draw it a lot, and the one was,

if I had a rule or I would make this, I would do it on my own, and then I would do it it on my binder and then I would just draw it a lot and the one was if I had a rule or I would make this picture of like a brick wall Exploding like some bricks coming out of it and like your name behind it right colored pencils the whole thing and Do it is any girl that was like you know, that's awesome like one make you want And do it is any girl that was like, you know, that's awesome. Like, what do we make you want? And they'd be like, yeah, and I give it to him like, hey, I worked on this for seven hours last night. And they're like, great,

it'll be crumpled up in my binder by a third period. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Remember note passing? And I do, I also did it for like black girls too, had some names on them. So it wasn't you writing like Kim on this paper. It would be like, Lanta. The Manna. There's like there's three T's in Lashanta.

Do you remember note passing in school? Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. Right in a note passing it down. Rejection is though on notes a lot. Really? Yeah, that was very cool. I do my asking out on notes or we should hang out. On notes always. I didn't do the yes or no thing ever, but like I'd get the response and it would start. It was like getting rejections from colleges but unfortunately at this time,

I'm like, oh, you already knew it was bad. You got fun, you got fun. That's funny. But I funny. I was such a queasy. I went to my dad's house one summer and the girl next door looked like fucking Kathy Ireland to me. She was so hot and maybe a year older than me or something. And when I went back to my mom's house, we'd correspond through letters. Like she said, she send letters. And she said, you'd correspond through letters, like she said she send letters. And she said, and it would be like glitter inside

and like some stickers that she put in and her bubble letter writing and stuff. And I mean, I'd read those letters where I was like, my girl's writing me from, it was like nothing. Do you know what I mean? It's like, things are great here. Got a new car, that's fun. Senior year's pretty cool.

And I'm just like she I love that she can share anything with me I love that she was comfortable off the share everything to do to note I know I probably at some point had some sort of a box or a side of a drawer that was Genessa letters that were all platonic but like to me it was like, probably rereaded at some point, and he goes, she did say here that I was awesome. What does that, it's gotta mean something, right? I used to have this girl Denise Contino

used to write me letters when I was in Juvee. I found them recently. I mean, she wrote me, like, I probably have like 100 letters and cards from this girl. And I wanted nothing to do with her. I just wanted the letters because it just made you feel good. And she reached out to her hearts on the eyes. I just lived a little heart over the eye for the dot.

Yeah. Oh, it was great. I just found it. I have all the letters. She went to one of my shows like last year and her friend was shit face. She kept going, you know her. You know her. And I was like, hey, shut the fuck up. I was going, you know her, you know her.

And I was like, hey, shut the fuck up. And I was like, Denise, what the fuck, she's like, I'm sorry. I'm like, the whole show, she wanted to get kicked out, and her friend was drunk in the hallway of the theater, crying. Oh, fuck. And then I got an apology letter on Facebook from her mom.

Who the fuck those bitches? You know, they're worth. A crappy one-carat lab-grown diamond would be my best guess. Whoa. Oh boy! Stephen Singer could have helped you out, Bobby, because right now, Stephen Singer George, that's the I.H. Stephen Singer guy, is giving other George in America another reason to hate him.

Because for a limited time, Steve Ming is giving away a free one-carat lab-grown diamond. What? That's right, free. You can use it for, when something's free, I mean, chuck it at somebody. Make a revenge tool out of it. Yeah, keep it in your glove box in some of the fucks you in traffic,

throw it at their windshield. Don't even throw their windshield. Make it into a ring and just diamond. You think lab-grown diamonds, cut glass? You take that ring and do the little look, you know, you cut the circle out. They don't you're breaking into a building They don't that's not what cartoons say Bobby Are you think you know more than cartoons this guy? You're gonna get that free lab grown diamond with any purchase of a real natural earth-born diamond engagement ring online or in

Steven's showroom Everybody knows that the production and supply ramp up on man-made diamonds the value is going to go down and there's still George are going to sell this to you for a thousand, sell all this and then send it. For one to $6,000, it's a crime and Steven would never sell something he believes has no value, no sentiment, no sign of your love. So he's giving those lab-grown diamonds away for free. The listeners of the bonfire, too smart to fall for paying

for something you can get for free. Some of them. From our friend Steven Singer, most of them are that smart. The dumb ones I even know we're talking about right now. Go now to iHateStevenSinger.com for those details. That's iHateStevenSinger.com. We should take a break. I think our guess is here.

I didn't get a note yet. No? Wow. I could do a break. I think our guest is here No, wow, I could do a snack. Wow. I like a snack. Wow. I'm feeling package You haven't you feeling a little package? I feel a little package. I'd affect your meal today. So I'm feeling pretty good You did? Yeah, uh Most under 550 calories Thank God, no featuring today. I had a beef stroganoff style burger with green beans. That's all. It sounds fantastic. It's pretty impressive.

I mean, it sounds like something we get asked to prom. That's how I feel. Eating that way. Beef stroganoff? Oh, if I was eating factor meals when I was a kid, I would have been able to take a picture with my own girlfriend that had danced instead of somebody else's, Deanna Brady. Um, God, maybe if I'm lucky she's ugly now too. I gotta look into her.

It's the bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates, coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo