The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Saved By Paul Virzi

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

After a rough Bonfire show yesterday, the vibe is totally refreshed as Paul Virzi brings a professional and funny attitude to the room. | Paul has an idea for the wives to make side-cash by running a restaurant. | Bobby created a code word for his son only to be used in extreme emergencies. | Bob needs advice from a real man like Virzi because he doesn't know how to cheer encouragement to his kid during his lacrosse games. When Paul Virzi is not saving radio shows, you can find him performing stand up comedy- go to PAULVIRZI.COM for all his tour dates and info! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. This show is already the energy in the room is better. The vibe is better. People are laughing. I feel like we all went through something yesterday. I mean, buddy, we were talking on the phone to each other. Like an incident happened. It was nuts.

Yesterday. We made it through, though, I guess, man. I had a call five people today. It was nuts. We were all Vossed yesterday. God, it's so much better in here today. Everybody's happy. The energy's vibe in.

I mean, Paco's a little miserable. I don't know. It's raining. He rides a bike, you know. I got a great guest in today. I'm very happy. Thank God. Thank God.

That's right. He's a true New Yorker. Mr. Paul Verzi Is in the house I mean I would have liked the other Knicks song I mean let's get into it I'm a Celtics fan I'm not playing the cool song

This is when they were wearing Chuck Taylor's playing Paul Versey My man What's up dude My podcast brother from Bone to Pick Dude I knew something happened How did you know something Because when I walked in here

Did you go outside and see the crows flying No I When I walked in here Everyone's like, you feel good today? You're having a good day? Everything good. You ready? You ready?

I'm like, yeah, what happened? Of course I'm ready. You good, Paul? Everything good. You need anything? I was like, yeah, God. First of all, congratulations on the next stomping. Dude.

Of the Sixers. I don't mind her. Who's your team? Sixers. First of all, she doesn't have a team. Okay. I was Lakers, but I was going to say, you're a California girl. It was Shackoby Lakers.

She has no team. She has to have a team because she lives. with a Philly boy. Yeah, yeah. So she's a Sixers fan, which I, look it, I respect that. Look, you go for your man. I get it. You follow your man's thing.

I get it. You fall right out of the playoffs with the Knicks stomping him. We do look good, boy. I'll tell you. I don't like that Christine's pretending to be mad like she cares about basketball at all. You care about basketball as much as I do. I mean, probably a little more than that. Yes.

Touche. I know that I could name players. That hurts. That hurts. Yeah. Yeah, the Knicks killed them. They're going to sweep them, I think. Oh, I hope.

We're looking good. They're looking good. I'm not going to jump. There it is. That's the song. Oh, fuck it. Yes. That is a good song.

Yeah, that other song was my grandfather's jam. That's one, Jacob. That was for Jacob. It was the 80s. Yeah, the Celtics song stinks. I don't know. What is it? Oh, God.

I don't know. It's some white Celtics. I think there's a lot. a banjo involved. Some long bass, one of those fucking, what's the Celtic song? When we play it was just so fucking corny.

I thought they would have updated it. I mean, we did win a couple championships. You should update it, dude. I know. Make it exciting. I know, it blows. Because it's Boston. They're not into,

we're not into mascots, went on into themes, songs. You know what I mean? You're into insults. Actually, we're into fucking championships. Yeah. All right. Well, there you go.

All right. You can't fight that? You know what sucks is when you can't argue because the last time the next one was 73 so after you say that I just look at my coffee I'm like, yeah, you got it. Is this it? Is that it? No, that's just this...

Not official, yeah. That's not even an Irish song. This is cool. But this is actually... I love this band, but I used to come up to them in Boston. This was my jam. I would come up, I'd play the song at the Wilbur, come out to this, and I'd wait.

I would wait. I'd let this go. Can I say something? And I'd let the crowd starts to go. And then I'd walk out right around. There's something about this, though? Yeah. Sounds a little racist, doesn't it?

Yeah, that's why I was in Boston. Got all these racists riled up before I came out and did comedy. But I stopped playing it, though, because I was doing my show at the Wilboa night, and it was half sold. And I'm standing out front smoking a cigar, and all these people are walking by. And they're going, hey, Bobby, hey Bobby, Bobbo. And I'm like, where the fuck are you guys going? They're going, oh, Conan's playing next door. No.

And this band, the actual band was opening for him. Oh. No. Oh, that's... Oh, my God. I literally went in, I go, fuck that. Get him off. I took it off.

I was like, fuck them. The actual bit. Could you imagine? I'm coming out to them and a half-sulled Wilbur to the song and they're next door playing live for Conan. Oh, God. I just got killed in Detroit. I lost to Jeff Don. I went on Jeff Dunham was at the spot next door and I was like dude I could understand

you know losing to a comic but not a puppet man dude dude to a wooden funny I was in Albany once have sold I lost to the flower festival during the day the guy was like yeah sometimes get people get tired do it the flower festival's in town I'm like what oh god the excuses they give us yeah yesterday do was so fucking I had we had first of all I want to say sorry to everybody in the room I apologize and I want to say sorry

to the to the fans of the bonfire the loyal listeners I want to say sorry to Jim dude this is a eulogy I want to say sorry to Opie and Anthony I want to say sorry to Jim and Sam Opie and Jim

Sam and the boys I want to say sorry to everybody because I don't don't know what happened yesterday. Dude, I love Voss. He's one of my best friends. He came in yesterday and did everything you're not supposed to do on

radio. Sip, fart, burp, chew, answer a phone. Dude, at one point I looked down, he's answering the phone. And then Ellen Carrigan came in and she, he starts showing, he goes, I got grandkids.

You want to see some pictures? Gets his phone. and start showing her pictures of his grandkids in the phone. And then he was having side conversations. Did you see this? Side conversations. I did. But off Mike.

Like he would lean over to her and just whisper, hey, where did you park? What? Can I say something? Yeah. I'm going to say something. Oh, no. It's your fault. No.

No. It wasn't your pick? It wasn't your pick? Okay. Was it your pick? Okay. How long you known him? You know what, 35 fucking years?

How long you known for us? Fucking four decades? Okay. What did you think he was going to do? Do you think he was going to be a perfect fucking citizen and just... I went off, Bobby. He's telling people, he's showing people. I love Rich.

But you know what you're getting. Buddy, but can I just say something? I, yes. You're right. And everybody in this room is going, yep. I think Christine, when I said Vos, she said, who? What? No.

But the thing is, I think that Voss, I looked over here. He got hearing aids. We got DJ Lou, who's probably one of the best in the business. During the show, he's, listen to what he's playing right now, because I'm talking about my friend. He just, he is a, he's like a voice. He's doing sound design during the show live. It's a pro. It's not even a pro, it's magic.

He's a magician. And he doesn't hear any of it. Do you know why he didn't hear any of it? He wasn't wearing his headphones. He's been doing radio for 40, seven years. He's been doing radio when people had just radios. Yeah. And he still doesn't get, at one point he went, I'm not interested. I went, what? What? What? Wow. Crazy. And then it won't, didn't he say something? There's so many things. Didn't he say, what else did he do,

Christine? He did something disparaging. Maybe it's like, it was a medical. It sounds like, it sounds so nuts that it was he like low blood sugar? I think it's just time we, we got to put them out to pasture. You know what I mean? I think there's a spot in every comic's life where you just got to go, go. Just walk him out to the streets? Just go. I can hear you a little too clearly.

Could you constantly touch the microphone for the entire show, the rest of the show? Paul, this is what he was, the mic was there, didn't have the mood, he kept doing this. Oh, God. Was he, all jokes aside, was he fucking with you or no? Dude, I don't, no, he wouldn't fuck with me. I think that he's just not there anymore. Oh, boy. I don't think that his, his,

I don't think he can, I think if he did the show at 11.30 in the morning, he would have been better. You know what I mean? Like if he got up, had his coffee and did the show, I think five is too late for him. Six is definitely like, hey, man. I got to get my CPAP machine

and get ready for bed. Yeah. I don't, dude, I can't believe it. I mean, it was, I was, and I'm telling him, hey, dude, stop touching the microphone. He didn't. And he couldn't hear it because he didn't have his headphones on. It's like, you've been doing radio longer than me. You've been doing radio.

And look, Voss is killer on the radio. He's had some epic bits on the radio. He's great on the radio. But to sit in that chair to be a co-host, you kind of got to be with. You've got to be there. We've got to be to, you know. You got to be there. It was just distracted, and it seems like we couldn't wrangle it.

I was, I was like, I must be a horrible producer. Like, it was, it was questioning. Like, everybody, we were like, what happened? Yeah. Like, what happens? I mean, it was, there was so many, like, usually there's one, with Voss, there's one or two things. He doesn't have his headphones on, or, like, he'll, you know, maybe chew, chew. a little bit into the microphone.

Buddy, he got a Diet Coke and was just chugging it on the... And then burping, and then burping into the microphone. And then chewing his gum. At what point, was there a break where you were like, hey, dude? Five seconds in.

No, there's no break. There was a break, but, oh, like, I could have said it. At the break were you like, hey, Rich, are you good, dude? You said it on the air. Yeah, he was like, what the fuck's wrong with you? Five minutes in, I'm like,

are you a moron? Like, what's wrong with you? Like, I kept going, stop. It was like, I was, dude, Max is what better behaved at 12 than this 69-year-old man, 40 years in the business. Oh, you should have Max come in.

No, that's not good, I mean, I know he's not going to touch the microphone, not going to chew, fart, burp, his stomach was doing weird shit. What do you mean fart? Like, you heard him fart? Dude, he leaned over and not, he leaned over.

I go, are you farting? He goes, no. And then we're talking, and he kept, in the middle of the conversation, he kept, as we're kind of trying to go back and forth, as you do on a radio show. Like, I'm talking now, and then you'll talk. Yeah.

And then I'll talk, and then you'll talk. And then Jacob might talk, and then Christy, and then I'll talk. That's the way our radio show goes. Yeah. Because there's people listening live, right? So I want you to just start talking. Start telling me a story.

Yeah, dude, you saw that next game. No. Oh, God. Oh, God. No. No. No. It's like, what the fuck? Yeah, I think he's got to, I think we got to, we're going to take old yellow out to the fucking tree in the backyard and put him away. What's up, Lou?

You know I'm a big ONA fan. I've been watching ONA for years and years and years. Yeah. This reminded me, it made me really sad. It was like when your favorite sports, it's like when your favorite sports player isn't young anymore and that fastball is not there. and fucking crossover's gone. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, it's like, fuck, dude. It's like when Patrick Ewing was in a Seattle Supersonics jersey. Yeah.

And it's good in Arizona. You're like, oh, shit, it's over. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? That's funny. Buddy, that is exactly. Buddy, I was mad, but I was sad. Yes.

That is the exact feeling I felt like I was, like, looking over at him, like, sad. Like, like, sad. Like, I was just like. Then he came down, he comes down to the cello last night. I told him, I go, I'm doing my pussycat. Every Tuesday night, by the way. You kept him out? Every Tuesday night by 7.8, I do my show at the pussycat.

You guys are more than welcome to come down. I got to get a discount code for Bonfire fans, by the way. What a good friend you are. Come down. Let's continue the five. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're showing signs of dementia. Why don't you come down to my show?

Buddy. You must have already lost him before the show, and he didn't want to unt. You didn't want to take it back. Christine, you're right. I asked him before the show. But here's the thing, guys. Here's the thing.

Maybe radio as your attention span. His attention span was wild. At one point, I looked over at him. I asked him a question. He was looking down. Oh, boy. Just like looking down. I don't know, dude.

He's texting. Dude, if he had fallen asleep yesterday, I would have been happy with that. I would have been, we would have done the whole show like this so uh eleanor you're from philly that's interesting buddy it was

crazy so then I asked him down and then at the end of the show he goes that was a great show I was like are you talking to me who are you talking to right and then he so I say come down and he goes I don't know if I'm going to make it I was like okay I'm I don't need you like you know what I mean

don't get mad at me so so I'm in the middle I'm doing my show this five it's left to the show. I'm doing in the middle of a bit. I have a bit about saving the girl. It's like a new bit that I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to work out. I'm in the middle of it.

And the crowd is great. They're from all over the world. It's like Indian and Australian and Brazilian and, you know, Nicaragua, there's a lot of, when you go to the cellar now, the world's there. Plus there's fans, you know, you look over, there's a side split of shirt. Well, you know, we got Mondani now.

I get it. Oh, come on now. You always have the Guinea come out on you. Absolutely. This city doesn't affect you at all. You live in South Salem. I wasn't going to say it until you said whatever the last one was. Dude, you're in South Salem.

I was in your city on Sunday at Max's lacrosse game. You got nothing to worry about. Oh, I know. Dude, I felt Puerto Rican in that town. You are. So I invited him down. I'm in the middle of my bit. Look, I'm not bragging.

It was going good. I was happy. The crowd was great. I was just having a good time with this crowd They were laughing at everything I'm in the middle of the bit And all of a sudden I see him walk in At the beginning of the bit

He walked in and just stood in the back Oh, that's the worst But was staring at me Like look I've had Jay on the show Jay comes in he'll sit down in the back And just wait, you know wait You know what I mean? Like wait until he gets called up

You know That's what most comics do They'll go hang out in a certain spot Upstairs in the little VIP or somewhere And wait He stands in the back and stares at me like a fucking assassin. And he's wearing all white.

And he's just, and I can feel him. Just staring at me. Just see the silhouette with the fedora. Yeah. Yeah. So in the middle of my bit, literally, I get a laugh

and I'm going on to the next part of the bit. He goes, I can do that. I was like, what? What? He goes, I can do what you're doing. I think I could do that. So now I'm,

in the bit. You know what I mean? I go, rich Voss ladies and Joe. So I go oh, you can sir? I just pretend like that some audience member because that's what he wants. So I'm like, oh, you can. You think you can't come motherfucker up here and do what I do? Right? He goes, yeah, I think I can.

So I go, come on up. So he comes up and I'm just standing off to the left and he goes into his bit and he's just bombs. What? Buddy, he goes to it looks down to the guy's French fries. These two indie guys in the front he goes, you have French fries? in India and they go

yeah we do like yeah yeah dude it's not fucking the kutti pie it's a it's a it's a dish right and then he goes how do you like the pipes with the water and goes that doesn't impress you or something like that

and nobody and I'm like as a comic I'm like thank you God like this is happening right now like I'm like and I'm looking around to make sure the lights are on the video is everything I'm like please Jesus Christ let this happen And then he starts going into other bits. But, you know, like, this happened in Chicago.

We did a big Creeps with Kids show in Chicago. And he would host. And he goes up and seven minutes into a set, a couple walks out screaming. And then she yells out, you're a fucking racist. You know, and we were like, what the hell? What the hell? I went back and listened to his first seven minutes. Voss is a racist.

Every joke was just terrible. You know what I mean? If you don't like racist jokes. So last night, it's like, dude, if you do a racist joke, the key to doing a racist joke, it has, people have to laugh. If they don't laugh, you're a racist. So I'm just on stage. At one point, there's a guy to the left with a side splitter shirt. He's a fan of mine.

You know what I mean? He's been to multiple shows. He knows who Voss is. Voss is doing so bad. He goes, get this fucking guy off the stage. What? he didn't he didn't know it was Voss

Oh shit He thought it was just some guy From the audience bombing And then I had to go I had to break characters I said listen guys Because people were getting mad I go guys

This is a 40 year vet He's a professional community And I turned to the guy I go That's Rich Voss He goes Oh yeah it is Oh sorry

That's how bad he was he doing He hypnotized people To not know who he was Yeah And you invited Rich to that right Yes I did I did You invited Rich to that

Yeah So you invited rich to the radio and then after the radio incident you invited him to that. As his tattoo says, never again. Never again. Did you guys go out and eat after that together? No, no. I'll eat with the guy

but I'm not fucking. My God, dude. I mean, he is trying to chisel Israel in every, dude, he's trying to chisel the Israeli war shit. And I'm looking over Christina, she's literally giving me, no, she's waiting in your hands. Like, don't go there.

like warning me don't it's like dude he kept saying he kept saying that his daughter's school is really liberal his daughter so he's not saying it but he's like going

and I'm like pivot and then Jacob like a damn about to burst like a damn about to burst oh that's hilarious at one point he's like

the Iran war and I'm like what are you doing I only see you don't mention the Iran he's like I was trying to get into the preppers I'm like I still

I wasn't trying to trigger I was trying to get to focus on something. So I tried to lean into preppers. That's funny, dude. It was like the end of an action movement which just goes into slow motion. No. Oh, God, dude.

I know what you're doing, when you try to get somebody off, but then you realize that topic ain't good either, right? Like you tried to. It went nowhere. Yeah, that's crazy. You know, the only way you can focus him if you say, Israel, Iran, Palestine. What? I mean, I mean, it was,

That's not really what this show is. Hey, we're just trying to be a silly and have fun for an hour and 45. Yeah, dude, I don't want to fucking talk about. He was trying to bring up his daughter stuff. And I was like, dude, I don't want, I can't. I don't know anything about it. I don't, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't want people to die.

Can we move on? I don't want to get into the horses shit of it. Yeah, people ask you, what's your opinion on in the war? You're just going like, I don't know, dude. I just go, war's bad. Let's just have people be safe. Yeah, war's bad.

Yeah, I don't, yeah. We went through one last night. What's that? We went through one last night. I did. I said I feel shell-shocked. I know how. I was like going through like PTSD last night.

I was like, what happened in there? Dude, I got a phone call. I got a phone call from Bobby. And he goes, you ready for a great show day? It's going to be good, right? I was like, yeah, dude, what's happened? I'm just doing radio, I thought. You're freaking me out.

Here's the thing. We went last week. Last week, listen, I've been having so much fun on the show. Last week we had Lou Diamond Phillips. We had Youngblood. We had Riza from the Wu-Tang. We had such epic shows. Monday, we had Colin Quinn.

And then we went to Voss. Flying high. Buddy, that's what you get from flying too high. I was flying too high. Feeling too good. I was feeling. I was feeling. Great.

You tried to touch the sun, Bobby. And I got burnt. You clicked on autopilot. You sat back. Buddy, I had Jim. The boss was like, hey, yesterday's show was great yesterday. That was a really great show with Colin Quinn. I came in too high, dude.

I was like, this is going to be good, too. No, it's not. Oh, hey. Hey, how you doing? Youngblood and Rizzo wanted to, like, just hang out with you. Oh, dude. Oh, dude, they came in. They were fucking...

Dude, how great is the Rizza? Dude. So cool. But we go... Dude, we didn't get Wutang Rizza. We got Hollywood Rizza. Which was even better. Yeah.

Yeah, because he was in promotion mode. Yeah. So he was like, hey, guy. You know what I mean? He was a little... Not that white, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't think he was hey, well, hey guys. Hey, hey guys.

And from the slums you're shouting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. His voice is iconic in it. But I thought he was going to come in and be like, yo, what's up, boys, how you doing? Well, I mean, what? I don't know. Have you ever seen him actor? Yeah.

I've ever seen him. He plays, like, plays piano beautifully. I mean, the man's like, he is a beautiful man. Yeah, he's really talented too. Yeah, it bugs me. That bugs me. The piano thing bugs me.

Did he can play piano? No, anybody that plays piano and does other things, too. Yeah. It's like, fuck, I'm not, I'm not good. You know what I mean? You play drums? You play drums. Not good. Drums are drums.

Anybody can play drums. Yeah. Piano. When somebody sits down on the piano, I'm like, fuck, they're like an extra better person. You know what I mean? Like I went of a gnomes house. Not to mention his name, but I can because Jay's not here. I want to have a gnome's house, and his fucking 12-year-old kid just jumped on the piano.

Started playing Beethoven. I was like, fuck, I looked over at Max. And Max is just drooling like, that's interesting. You know what I mean? It fucking bothers me. He just holding a lacrosse stick. How does his fingers move so fast? Yeah, we had, I mean, last week was so fucking great, dude.

I remember I went home last week. I was like, dude, what a great week. Because we were asking, we literally was like, hey, we need to get some guests. It happened like that. We had three of the epic guests. I was like, oh, my God. And then Monday, Colin Quinn, I mean, Jesus.

It was so good. And then it really, we just, one of the tires, all four tires fell off the bonfire truck. Life will, what's that? Life will humble you. Life, yeah, you know what? Man makes plan and God laughs. And boy, did God have a laugh yesterday.

It went into the, YKWD, it went into that. I mean, I was fucking, you know, I was like, dude, I had to drive home alone like at like 12. and nobody was up. I think I called you at like 12. I fell asleep early last night. Yeah. And then I called Jacob after that.

I'm like, hey, dude. I was like, hey, man. He's like, how you doing, Bobby? Well, I want to thank you, though. Why, buddy? For not calling me. Oh, God. Because, you know, if Bobby calls it midnight, it's something.

Yeah. Something. Yeah. I needed a human. I knew I was getting a call that night. I made sure to have the ringer on. And then his face popped up. I don't know.

It's the same picture, but looked sadder for some reason. Did you guys... Was I on Bobby Watch last night? You guys, that was your shift? Midnight to 4. Christine was 10 to midnight. Lewis 6 to 10. All right, guys, we've got to go in Bobby Watch tonight

because he's going to call one of us. Yeah, dude. It was so funny, too. Don't, you know, your wife. Hey, you know, in the morning. How'd the show go? yesterday and I was just like she went Voss

I swear to God swear to God she went Voss I was like yeah man I don't know what happened Yeah Rich is so funny too that's weird man No listen bro he's funny You know he might have just you know I love Rich I love him so much and he is one of the funniest guys Is he on medicine? He should be

He should have been some type of thing Maybe he missed his medicine I don't know dude he's missing something He's missing something he's gonna be missing the bonfire I tell you that I don't give a fuck if he wins an Oscar He's not coming back on this show I mean I feel like we should have some sort of a trial scenario Well that's great

You know like I don't look at messages that much I try not to look good or bad Because if you're not going to like the bad You shouldn't get the good in my eyes You know what I mean? It's like whatever That stuff's not for me But on Monday There was a I saw a conference

Colin Quinn, oh my God. And, you know, of course, some of my fans from YKWD are fans of the bonfire. And then, man, was it immediate yesterday? I just go, let me just check. Oh, you didn't. Buddy, it was 705. Oh, Bobby. Oh, you did that to yourself?

It was just one. And I went, wow. But I went, I checked his text. I went, he's right. You know what? He's got a valid point. Yeah. So I'm glad.

I was so glad when you were. comment in brother. I appreciate it. Because I know you don't do you, you, look at you're listening right now. I mean, by what you said he did yesterday, the bar wasn't set so high.

You're like, hey, do pay attention, put your headphones on, don't fart. I mean, don't look at your phone. I mean, fucking chimpanzees gonna do that. I mean, there was, we had a show where we had like four trans women on at one time and they were all talking over each other

and it was like, unmanated, like we couldn't rain it there were side conversations. It was a real, like, crazy situation, and it felt like that yesterday was just boss. Just him by himself. Do you know how bad it is when it takes four trans to make one boss?

Yeah. Yeah. Not one trend. Not two. Three. Four trans to make one boss. My God, dude. Woof. I couldn't...

It was like when he stopped doing something, he started doing something. If he wasn't texting, he was slurping. If he wasn't slurping, his stomach was growling. If he wasn't doing that, he was showing pictures of his grandkids. And then at one point he's looking down. He goes, this stinks. I was like, what?

I tried to get the topic off Israel. I tried to move away from that. He's like, I'm bored. This is boring. We're like, okay, sorry. Okay, grandpa. Do you know my name, Voss? At one point, I want to go, do you know it's Bobby, right?

You know it's me, right? Oh, God, dude. I looked around the room in one point. Everybody's just looking at me, like, I don't, we, like, do we, like, do we, Dude them? Do we, like, what's going on? So do we end or, do we end at six? Oh my God.

Do you have a best up in the can? Hey, do me your favor. Can we throw the interview? Can you just call Jay real quick and get him on the phone? Jay! Jay! We have to have a code word for Jay. We just called Voss.

Anytime something bad's happening, Voss, I'm calling right now. Yeah, it was, it was a, it was a, I, I got over it around noon today. Oh, wow. It was an over-niter. It was an over-niter. You know if it's an overnighter, something happened. Dude, I didn't go to bed till three.

I didn't go to bed till three last night. You thought you were fired. Bobby's waiting for your thoughts. Bobby's calling serious in the morning. Everything good? You guys eat donuts? Can I pick you guys up anything? Jim, I just got your Rolex.

Jim, I just got your Pepsi. Is the boss in? That's the boss. Did the boss hear yesterday? Yeah, that was the one that hurt. It was such a great week. And then literally, we were taught. I was like, wow, that was fun. What a great week of guests.

And then calling, we were all riding high. And we went too far. I went too far. But we learned a lesson, you know. And we get it back today. We get it back today. Get it back today. I like that.

Because you got a guinea in here. Dude, that's, I can't even believe you just did that. Buddy, I can't even believe you just hit the time. like that. That just made me want to fight a Russian. What are we waiting for? Can you change it to a Jew? Dude, that was... Rocket could still win at his age now.

I told you. Voss heard Nannaloo. Part of the show for me. Part of the show that makes me laugh. I like to laugh during the show is Loo's his drops, his music beds, everything he's doing. He's listening and creating conversation through music and sounds during the show. Voss heard none of it.

At one point I laughed at something he didn't. He's like, what? Why? Yeah, I'm trying to help him. There's no helping. There's no helping. I mean, that was, I've been doing radio. I've been doing, I've been doing, I've been doing radio.

That was one of the best drop-ins I've ever had. I mean, the timing of that was- He's a magician. He's a magician. He can drop anything. You want to hear Christine be dirty? What? Yeah, yeah, you can hear Christine be dirty.

Want to hear it? Why would you? Why would I do what? Wait, guys have different size peels? Spread assholes are for gay men You want to hit Bobby be gay? You want a little gay Bobby? I've always liked men.

I love it. Oh, shit. That's great. He's a magician. Yeah, he is. Dude, I want to ask you a question because me and you have similar lives. We live up in the suburbs.

You have the kids. We've got to do the, you know, all the games and practices. Yeah, you're a little more into it. to me. Yeah. You know sports. You know, you get you know, I go to Max's game because I love seeing him play and I love being them for them, but I don't know,

I don't know what's going on. Yeah. You know what I mean. And you got to help me with, you got to help me with this. What's up? I don't know what to say. To what? To yell out. Oh, to, at the game? Yeah, like the other dads are yelling out, 47, pick it up. You know, two more steps, 69.

Like, they, I don't know what that means. I don't know anything. Like, I'm yelling out. Like, Max, do it. You're doing good. Yeah, I know. And I yell at Maxie. Like, I go, Maxie, which is not what I should be yelling out. Yeah.

And, you know, Dawn, Don doesn't know what the fuck she's saying. She yells out stupid shit. And you can feel other parents to kind of look over at us. Like, what the fuck does that mean? I need some good stuff. Just watch him do something good. Like, even if you don't. He's a goalie in the cross.

Oh, he's a goalie. Okay, so he gets a goal. What do I yell out? I yell out. Nice stop. Good save. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, but I need something more. I mean, but he's in one position. He's stationary. There's not much. What could you say to a goalie? He's got a ton of shit on. He's got a giant net. All you could say is good, you know.

I did yell at one time. Stop ducking. Because he was. When he first started playing goal, they shoot on him, and he duck under the ball. I was like, you can't duck, Max. I'm like that with, I'm like you with not. sport stuff. Like I dropped Sophia off. Like strip clothes? Sophia went to a

No, no. She's 13. She went to the middle school dance. I didn't know what to say. Yeah, don't touch her. No, no. It's me and her. I dropped her off. All right. And I just go, all right, and me and her are close. And I go, all right, sweetie. And she was dressed nice. And I go. Wait a close with your daughter? Very. Okay. But of course you are. Yeah, but some people are like, you know, fathers, mothers, daughters are closer with the mother. Sons are close with the father.

Me and my daughter are like, like, I'll take both of them to the games. I do everything like equally. You're right. I don't think my grandfather talked to my aunts and my mother until they were 35. No, some parents are like, yeah. So I just go, all right, I drop her off and she had a dress on and she looked, you know, pretty nice. Okay, sweetie, I go, uh, dance good.

What? Dance good. What is it fucking footloose too? Was it 19-fif. I go, dance good. And she put her hand over her mouth. She goes, dad, never say that to me. I just dropped, I said, dance good, because what do you say? Like, you had a sports thing. That reminded me when you said that. You said, do good or whatever. But sports, no, sports are easier because you can be. Adaway.

It's a good one. Adaway is a good one. Adaway. Stay with it. Stick with it. Stick with it. That's a good one. Stick with it.

Because if they score on them, right? Stick with it, Max. Stick with it. And stick with it. Even if he's blocking. Stick with it goes both ways. What do you mean? If he gets a save.

Good. Stick with that. Like, you know, stick with it. Stick with it. I like stick with it. Because it means keep doing what you're doing. Stick with it's good. Anybody got anything?

Who else got something? What did Paul say? Good save and what was the other one? Yeah, good save. At away. What did you say? 16's mother's a whore. No,

don't say that. Could save in something block? No, you said. They were both good. Yeah, stick with it. Stick with it's good. Good block. Good block.

Good block. Good block. Stick with it. Big stop. Big stop. Good stop. Good stop. That's coming from a guy

who'd never had a father say any of this to him. That was fucking amazing. His father was like, dance good, son. I'm a goalie. Yeah, you, I know. Lou, I know. you got good ones. So my father-in-law

is the high school lacrosse coach. Oh, thank God. Here we go. Here we go. This is what I want. Ball down. Ball down. Anytime the ball is loose and it's not in someone's ball down. Ball down. So when the ball's loose. Oh, God, Lou, he's going to say that in the wrong place now. You're going to say ball down at the

he's at half time. He's going to be ball down because he's going to see it laying on the field. I know what ball down is. I know ball down is. I know ball down. I know when the... So when they're like on the face off when it's all over,

or they drop a ball, ball down. Because it's supposed to go over. All right. Okay, good. I like that. Ball down. Go ahead. What else?

Similar to hockey, especially since he plays defense. Yeah. Check. Or slide. What do you mean? Basically, when the offense is coming to the goalie to him...

I've heard slide. I don't know what slide means. Slide the defense over. Slide the D. Can I say slide the D over? It might not be good. No, okay. Again, I'm getting too close to the sun.

slide just slide slide slide slide can I say slide slide slide that big B max all right I get it now that's good I understand so slide slide slide slide slide slide slide slide and then when he gets the ball out of there yeah clear he's clearing it clear it clear clear all I like all these oh I got some good ones I need to I need to have to write these down I'm gonna take out a notepad during the game slide slide slide slide I'm going to have to write slide three times. Oh, God, I can't wait. Just video yourself and send it to me when you say ball down. I got to hear you say that. Ball down, Max.

Slide, slide, slide. Good Dada boy. Adda boy. Adda boy. Just, you can't be denied it. But you got to make it Italian where it's not the actual sentence. No, no. The Italian adder boy is good for you. Here's the thing, too. I don't know if you have this with your kids. I have a thing with my kid. I set this up. Me and Don set it up, especially now that he's going to be 13.

He's going to be a brand new teenager. So I set this up with Max. Yeah. I said, listen, you ever get in trouble. You ever, I don't care what it is. You're ever in a jam. You're at a party you don't want to be at. Something happens.

You know, the cops show up. Anything. You use this code word. I have a code word. Yeah? You call us and you say that code word. We're coming to get you no question. asked. You're not in trouble.

You know, just we're coming to get you. No questions asked. We're going to pick you up and take you home. You mean a text. A text, a phone call, whatever you do. You say the code word that we gave it and you would just come in to get you. Anything happens. You're ever somewhere in trouble. You're partying with kids. Some kids do some stuff or whatever. Even if you do something and you need us, you just text us or call us and you say that code word.

No questions asked. We're just coming to get you. Okay. Bringing you home to make sure you're safe. I like that. We can deal with it when you get home. Okay. Right? This was two days ago, we told him this.

Yep. He used the code word today. What? Yeah. Where? He was at school. Oh, my God, that's incredible. We get the code word.

I get the code word. I panic. I'm leaving for the show. I go, it was the code word. Don's like, I know, I know. The code word. She runs to get him. It was nothing.

It was nothing. some kid yelled out retard in the hallway the teacher turned and saw Max and thought he did it and thought he did it he ran and used the code word I'm so fucking mad at him I gotta take away the code word

the code word is for cops and drugs and alcohol was retarded and that's what they heard no nothing it is that is the code word but that's it I think that's It's a great idea to have a code word. It's a great idea, but I think it might be too early to tell a kid that.

Yeah, maybe I should have done like 16. You're going to get that code word for a long time now, buddy. I couldn't really be fucking used it two days in. This jackass made me so mad. We're thinking cops. We're thinking, you know, something happened to school, a fight. He's at a part. I'm thinking he's somewhere in this, you know, drugs and alcohol.

I'm like, go get him. She's like, I am. Oh, that's great. God damn, Cragge. I love the idea of the code word. It's just if you give it to a 12-year-old, they're just not going to know how to use it.

I got to admit where I got it from. You got it from a movie? You got it from a movie, didn't you? No, I wish I'd know. My neighbor. I was talking to my neighbor last weekend. She's like, her son is a big kid. He's older, though.

He's in college, but he's a big boy. And she's like, we used to have a code word. We had a code word. We just used this code word. And anytime he called us, no questions asked, we pick them up just to get him out of trade. He was at a party. And, you know, the cops come or the, you know, there was too much crazy stuff going on. If he could use that code work, you'd just get out.

We pick them up no matter what. And I was like, I'm using the code word. I was like, that's it. I went back to Dawn and go, we're going to start using a code word. She's like, for what? Yeah. And I'm like, for Max. I wish she was using for sex.

Dried up. But. That's funny that you took a. from a neighbor. I know. I am a hack. I'm a hack parent. I didn't have a dad.

I didn't have a dad that teach me stuff. You had a dad. I mean, no, not really. My dad was, you know. You didn't have a dad? I'd stepdad. Yeah, a stepdad, but like. Right.

My dad, my parents were divorced when I was young. I was five. My brother was 10. We visited him like a few hours a week. Oh, do you talk to your dad now? Yeah. Are you friendly? My dad is in West Palm.

He's just, you know, complains. But my father, all the chains. My father is a stereotypical, you know. Italian? Oh, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I bet he's great.

He's, I mean, he's something, I'll tell you. Oh, really? Yeah, he's wild, man. Really? Yeah, he's just a different dude. Grew up in the Bronx and the 60s. He's just, you know, a Bronx tale, that's my dad, but just gaudy chains. All those bits that I did about him with, like, jewelry, you know.

Do me a favor. Don't bring up jewelry and chains. Why? We're just not out of it yet. Yeah, it's triggering to all of us. I just keep seeing Voss in that chair with all the chains and the jewelry. Does he wear a pinky ring? Who?

My dad? No. Good. No pinky ring. I fucking hate a pinky ring. No. My dad has 90 watches. 90?

90. Real? Yeah. Yeah. 90 watches. He's probably, he's got hundreds of thousands in jewelry. Real? He didn't give you any watches?

He just gave my son a watch. What do he give him? He gave him a, it was a Swiss. It was a really nice watch. I forgot the name of it, but like, worked a lot. Great, great watch. He didn't give you a watch? No.

Why? Like I got watches I don't need Really? Yeah You wouldn't want to watch from your dad I mean eventually How old your dad

78? Now What's what fuck are you talking about Eventually Yeah My dad's a trip man Oh I want to meet him dude

Yeah I want to meet him Yeah let's just say He's not liberal We should You go to my dad's house And there There's like portraits

Of Trump It's like It's not just the hats There's like Oil paintings of them He's kissed up, the blood coming down the cheek. It's unbelievable, dude. Is it Florida?

It's like, yeah, he's, but the thing is he's from the Bronx and he's in Florida. And all he does is complain about Florida, man. It's too hot down here. There's lizards down here. And I'm just like, yeah, man. Like, you know what you were doing? You know what you were doing? You know what I mean?

But he just, he always complains. He said the people are stupid. The doctors are bad. He misses New York. The pizza shit. You know, and you just. Yeah, that's Florida. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. He got no pizza down here. But he acts like it's a surprise. I'm like, what do you think was going to happen down here?

You know, he hates it. But he's cool, man. Was he in the mob? No. No. Knew them, but no. Because he would always preach against it. He'd be like,

he'd be like their streaks. He was like De Niro in the Bronxdale? No. He was like De Niro in a Bronx tale if De Niro was like cool with them. Like if he didn't fight him but still wasn't involved involved. Oh, if Nero liked. If De Niro liked. Niro and Sunny were like cool.

But yeah, that was my dad. Right, okay. But, you know, but my dad, chains. My dad was a lot gaudier than a bus driver character that's the Niro played. Is your stepdad not like that? No, my stepdad's blue collar. Blue collar dude. Right.

Was a UPS driver for 25 years. Great dude, like just, but like different than my dad, you know. My dad would like do crime for money if he had to. What? How do I not know this about? I've known you for fucking 20 years. Yeah, not that he did, but. my dad would just, you know.

He would do crime. No. If it had to. Right. Like my dad would just get like a $40,000 car. Like yeah, no, I pay cash for it. And I'd be like, but you don't work, you know? Like, I don't know how he got it.

So he does crime? No. I think he saved. Saved $40,000 in cash? What is he a stripper? What the fuck are you talking about? Dude, you can't save $40,000 in cash? Like my dad's advice.

to me and my brother were so different than like what a dad's advice would be like what like he'd be like you know if you guys want to really make it in this world he's like you know you just you got to marry a rich broad and like like meant it yeah well i mean i'll tell you what i wish i did oh my god he'd be like you know you find yourself a beautiful woman she got a rich family i listen like what i'm talking right now like not sit down and work hard boys Find an heiress. You know what? It sounds great.

Great advice. That's fantastic. Actually, if you really do break it down, it's kind of genius. Genius advice. Yeah, right. And like Japan, I think, that people will adopt sons that marry their daughters to, like, take over their companies. And it's efficient, dude. The Japanese are efficient.

I, dude, I've been nudging Dawn to fucking start doing something. You know what I mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? to like maybe, you know, start, you know, getting something going. I don't know. What do you? Maybe add to the fucking pot a little bit.

You know what I mean? Oh. You know, be creative. You know, start making some jewelry or get a hobby or, you know what I mean? Making jewelry, really? She had a, dude, she made jewelry. She had a company called Be Me. Because she, her favorite, she has a bumblebee.

Her last name is Weatherby. She made this beautiful earrings and necklaces. She would make for, and it was great. And I got behind it. I had little silk bags made up, BME, I had a website made, the BMEE website with all the jewelry on it,

and it was taken off. It was really taken, like people were buying it, it was expensive. And in my brain, I'm like, if this fucking, if I could hit at the same time and then I could promote her shit,

her shit could take off, right? Yeah. I love those couples, like HGTV, where the one guy's the contractor, the other girl's the wife's the creator, and they join companies like that girl from Waco

they own like Waco, Texas or some shit like that and they have stores and blah blah blah and you know I would like that I would like if she had something something I could promote

with my stuff and get people to buy her thing and then her thing starts making a lot of cash and then I don't have to you know worry about my thing so much no we should do what?

You, me, Janice we live in the same area yeah we just get a restaurant my wife's got recipes my wife's got certain things We take your wife's best stuff, my wife's best stuff, Janice's wife's best stuff, make the menu, put it up in Northern Westchester.

Yeah. We still do our thing. We don't do nothing, you mean. Well, we're still going to do stand up. Yeah, we do our thing. We just have to show up like once. Yeah, just what, you know, but here's the thing. There's three of us.

So you go one week, see how things are going. I go one week. Yonis goes one week. We go tour, do our thing. And the ladies have a nice, beautiful thing. They're running good food. So the ladies have to run a restaurant all day long. Yeah.

Backed up with your money. Huh? Backed up with your money. Oh, we got to pay for it? Well, yeah. You have to fund this. Well, they run it. We fund it.

We fund it. We fund it. They run it. That's a fair deal. Yeah. I don't like this idea. I don't like our wives being friends. Do you really want our wives being friends?

I mean, if they're taking in cash, dude. Mm. You know, restaurant business and money pit. No, dude. I'm thinking something else. We got to think of something else. What are you thinking? Let's see if they want to, you know, we could start some type of,

like middle-aged stripper thing we send them out dude we can be there pimps well I'm sorry I was very negative there I felt like yesterday

it rubbed off on me yesterday I shut you down I mean I'm talking about I'm talking about good menu and he's just like it's a money pit you can't do it I know it's not me yeah it's not

you seem like that I just realized you know it's a good guy he realized what he did I apologize too you guys just burned down a dream you burned down a dream dream on the spot.

I apologize. Boss is gone. I'm not boss. Okay. I apologize. I love restaurants. There you go. You got three smart, great women who know how to cook.

You put it on the menu. Lord knows, Westchester's not New York City, so we got to get that. How do you think it's going to go when we tell our wives, hey, we're going to open a Western. You're going to do all the work. And you've got to cook. By the way, you guys got to be there 24-7 for the first three years. But we'll be on the road. We're going to be going to have it fun.

I'm going to be down in West Palm as we were hanging over a Verzi's dad. Dude, let me tell you something. I feel better already. What a better vibe. Thank God you were coming in today. Well, thanks for having, man. Thank God I didn't have Voss on Wednesday.

We would have had a... In the week. Oh, God. Could you imagine going through the whole weekend, all of us alone? I need to go in today so I can wash yesterday off of me. We would have to done a special Thursday show. I don't think I could have made it until Monday. You should be worried about your friend.

You got to call him up and be like, Rich. Are you okay, dude? I just want to let him go. I'm just going to let him go. Look, I don't want to track. I look at Vi. What you mean?

It was a good show. I get it. It's just not radio. I don't know. I don't know if something happens at a certain age where, you're acting like he's 80. I mean, well, here's a two thing, too. I've never been a co-host with him. He's always been on something with me.

Right. With somebody, right? So I've never had that thing. I never, he's never been in that position where he's had that much responsibility on him. He's always been that guy where there's other people in the room that you could kind of go to while he's farting, burping, sipping, checking his phone and, you know, calling, you know, that type of. Yeah, that type of shit. So, I don't know, we'll see. I hope he has a good life.

Bobby wrote him off mentally. It's over. Buddy, we all did. I mean, loses Christ, dude. Christine was like, we have to, next time we have guests, we have to all talk about it. We can't just let Bobby choose. We all have to give a thumbs up. They should have prank you today and made your card not work in the building. Yeah. You really want to prank me.

You should have had Voss come in again. I would have left. I would have walked out. I would have been. I'm out of here. Verzi, it's on you. All right, Paul Verzi. He's going to be at Penfield Pavilion in Fairfield, Connecticut on May 8th.

Tomorrow. And then tomorrow night. So go check him out. If you're in Connecticut, check him out. hilarious, funny as hell. And Zanis, Rosemont, the 29th and the 30th. After that, he's going to be in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, Manchester, Connecticut, Ohio, for tickets and all the tour dates. Go to Paul Verzi.com.

Thank you so much for coming in. No, dude. Thank you for. Thank you.