The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sea Legs with Tim Butterly

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

Tim Buttlerly returns from the festival at sea that is "ShipRocked" and he has stories. The band P.O.D. performed on the boat and Bobby has to be educated on their catalog of songs. Tim trolled comic Mike Finoia on the cruise because of his constant moodiness. Butterly waited all year to hear Buckcherry perform a sexy, ten minute version of their song "Crazy Bitch" and was sorely disappointed. Bobby sees a stranger in the corner of the studio and has no idea that it's camper and meme artist AbsurdMoron. His real name is Rich and this is actually the second time that Bob slighted him. The Bonfire will be live on SXM on Monday, but please enjoy this never-aired podcast! The hilarious Tim Butterly is @Timbutterly on all the things. To find out where Jay and Bob are performing stand-up, go to Bigjaycomedy.com and Robertkellylive.com. Big Jay Oakerson's crowd work special "Them" is out NOW on YouTube! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Everybody fun fact this song is the raining blood to Tim Butterly's life Jack that rain and blood comes on or fucking jungle boy Tarzan boy. I'm gonna stand for the rest of it Fucking let it out, man. This does something to you, huh, man? Oh yeah, I'm charged right now. You wanna arm wrestle? I think they ended a lot of movies with this song just as my body started producing testosterone.

Let's see, what's the list of songs that Tarzan Boy was in? Listen, movies? Give it to ya, give it to ya. I like this part. This part's alright. I like that. But I don't like this part. Is it the best part of the song? Oh no, it's the worst part. What? It's what makes it cheesy. It's the hook. What are you talking about? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3. Oh yeah. Beverly Hills Ninja. Oh, come on when they go back in time Turtles in time It was a has to be used in more than that Tarzan boy is the name of the band no no no it's name of the song

Yes, okay, what's the name of the band? Massimo Massimo Massimo no something like that Baltimore Baltimore So it's so not Massimo. I thought it was in the Beverly Hills ninja, please dude. Oh, no But it was Mossimo. I thought it was like this Italian. I thought exotic man. It was Baltimore It's just some queers from Baltimore Baltimore. Oh, right Yeah, just a couple of hipsters Starbros his friends Give me the auto give me the auto

What is he saying right Christine, please Tonight is getting an order He's begging for sex, let's see what he said Move your head night tonight. Give me the other give me the other, give me the other. Give me the other. Anal. Oh. Duh.

Oh, girlfriend experience? The other. Deep French kiss? Know the other. Know AA. What is this song about? Is this about love? It's about nothing.

A fire blows. What does it say? Jungle life, I'm living in the open, ow. I know what it's about now. What's it about? Tarzan boy, time to cut loose with the guys in the jungle. You know what I mean? Oh, so it is some-

Look, jungle life, I'm living in the open, native beat that carries on, burning bright, a fire blows the signal to the sky. Right. Right? I sit and wonder, does the message get to you? Does anybody find out that I'm living Closeted in the trees like a Tarzan boy Give me the other anal anal

And the only break it The other and it hurts so bad because he's never had it. Yeah, so he's going oh, yeah, yeah, that's him getting Or maybe he's asking for like it was two guys and the bigger dick guy went in his butt first And he's asking to give him the give me the other give me an easy round night tonight Oh, give me the other give me the other this one's too big this one hurts But the other whatever was the first one the little one at first is nice is enough. Give me the other Give me the other I can't argue in there. I couldn't tell let's go positive Yeah, why do I have to make my neck veins pop out to fill you in my ass? That's crazy. You should fill me up. It's an asshole. How am I going to sing this chorus if I

don't have a big one in my butt? Monkey business on a sunny afternoon. These are real lyrics. I play alone while rushing across the forest. This is Nobody noticed that DJ Lou looks like a substitute teacher community college Maybe have a special mogwais. Yeah, do not feed at the midnight at 10, dude. If we give you a Milky Eye contact, dude, you'd be an old, sage Asian. I just looked over and I was like, why do I feel bad about not doing homework? Is this why you got upset about NoAA? It's African American, not Asian American. You're fine, Lou. Oh, no, no Asian American.

Yeah, what girl complains about the dicks coming the fucker for money or too small No Asians. I'm trying to fucking walk. I'm trying not to walk tomorrow. You know that the thing with Asian dudes that they get mad because Nobody want they have to do they have to marry Asian women I talked to a couple Asian dudes after show in the front of the cellar one night and they were mad because Nobody wants to fuck them. True. They have to have set up marriages and stuff because white girls wanna bang black dudes, and Spanish girls wanna bang white dudes,

and black dudes, and other Spanish guys. Nobody. Not a person. Really wants to bang an Asian dude. Not even the Asian ladies. And they feel bad about that. They should. And I feel bad about that Yeah, well, let me say on behalf of the white man Ball up in the air and you smack it out of the park very very happy, you know, that's sorry. Sorry Asian guys

You're gonna be knows a little dick one I'd feel bad for you if I had a bigger dick, but I don't. So fuck you. Thank you for making the average dick size small enough that I feel good about myself once in a while. Thank you. Thank you for lowering the global average of penis size. Dude, I wanna hear about this frigging cruise you went on

with you, your boy, Mikey Fanoia. Mikey Fanoia Tim and mrs. Butterly. Yeah Yeah, we went to Miami first do the improv What a wonderful staff the Miami improv. I mean, it's they are it's Little Cuba They put hard there that they're the best they drew hearts on my check. I mean like they are the sweetest people. Yeah They're so sweet. They that's a great club and I mean, like they are the sweetest people, yeah. They're so sweet. That's a great club, and the guy who runs,

all the people there are sweet as hell, yeah. Yeah, Justin. Great club. Yeah, great club, great people. It's just, it's so Miami. Like, just there, it's just so Miami. When you walk out, like, all right, we got the car waiting for you outside,

you have to walk through like a thumping club that's just technically supposed to be a bar. It's a copper blues that is supposed to be a live music bar but it is just naked women dancing. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah, every night they open the door for us. It's like, alright, see you guys tomorrow. What's it, 7 15 tomorrow? Yeah, see you then. Open the door. Exactly. But when you go in at like 6 o'clock it's like this beautiful outdoor quiet awesome place and then you come out after like 6 o'clock, it's like this beautiful outdoor, quiet, awesome place. And then you come out after the second show and it's... yeah, it's a 1980s movie.

It's thumping. Yeah, it really is a disco. I feel immediately fat when I walk out of the second show. Was Miami, that was the gig where guys, they kicked the girl out? Was that that gig? In the beginning of the show. Yeah. Yeah. They kicked the girl out was that that gig in the beginning of the show Yeah, yeah, she's just watching they have the CCTV of the stage and as they're filling in the show There was like a problem person every single night Well, this is where watching security footage of people being thrown out. There was a lady a lady gets kicked out

But then we didn't realize that She got kicked out her boyfriend and his friend Stayed and when asked about like, where is she? They're like, I don't know, they kicked her out. And I'm like, he's like, I paid for these tickets, but I'm not going nowhere, I'm here to see you, dude. And I was like, do you think she's outside? So he's like, maybe, who knows?

And then it turns out she was. After the show, she was just out there drunkenly waiting for him. Jay, can I just, real quick, side note, are we being like surveyed right now? Why? I don't know, I just noticed there's a person in here that I don't know.

Tim Butterly. No, not you, I know you. Behind you there's a guy just in the studio. Do you see him? No. Okay, there's a guy, right behind Tim there's a guy. Oh the studio. Do you see him? No. All right, there's a guy, right behind Tim, there's a guy. Oh, what's he look like? He's, he looks like, excuse me, he looks like he could be Louis' uncle.

Louis Gomez's. A black gentleman or a Spanish? He looks maybe Spanish, maybe light skinned black, but Spanish, more Spanish. Yeah, maybe he was probably dangerous when he was younger, right now he's actually a nice guy, probably helps kids out, probably has a nice family. I want to keep going with the, I don't see him either,

but I do want to say it does look like he yells at kids to get on track. Yeah, yeah, like right now he helps them, but he hurt them before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been in these streets. Yeah. I killed my stepson, But that was a different person.

A man can repent. I don't know who he is. I don't know what's going on. Is this like... Well, I'm guessing Spanish Lou. We have white Lou, black Lou, and Spanish Lou. Okay. Is this a, I don't know.

Like nobody introduced, like he introduced himself when I came in. I gave him a pound, but I don't know what, is he here? are we being judged? Is he a friend of somebody's? Yes. Who is he? I think he's Tobias Sirius XM's grandson.

He's testing out if he wants to take the studio from us. I don't know if you know, as soon as they start moving in, when they bring in ethnic people and turntables, we're out of here. Okay. That's what you ethnic people and turntables, we're outta here. That's how you know. That's what they did to Jim and Sam. That's what they did to us constantly. We need to come in to work one day.

Me and Soda, we come in to work and go, hey, what's this DJ booth set up in here for? Are they bringing in a guest? And they go, no, they're getting rid of you. This is Rich. He runs the absurd moron Instagram. He's the one always doing me Photoshop's for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, okay, what's up, man? I'm sorry, great work. I love your work, and I, nobody explained that to me. I just walked in and there was a dude sitting there. Absurd moron, if you don't mind me saying, it's a little lazy to just put a picture of Chas Bono up and say it's me, even though it is very accurate. Oh, it is extremely, extremely accurate. and say it's me even though it is, simp. Simp by Jago.

Delightful. All right, dude. All right. Perfect, dude. I thought he was a... Joe DeRosa loves fucking children, subway, and campaign. Campaign. All right.

That's great. Oh, what's that one? What, this one? No, the Dan Cooke one. Oh. Subway and campaign campaign. All right, that's great. Oh, what's that one? No the day cook one Stalked Dan Cook's child bride Kelsey Taylor describes how a lowly radio producer terrorized her family for over five years

Literally ruin all my fun Armenian which overdoses on Philly drug trade. God damn, do you remember? I forgot that when Christine went to the dentist and she couldn't smile, we just kept making her laugh. And half her face didn't work, so she would just sit here for an hour going, go, like, go, guys. And she was like, she couldn't help it. It was her laugh, just her face didn't join in. I just wanted to know I was sitting here I didn't know who it was, but now I thank you. Nice. That was also my

Said hey, this is the this is the guy that does all this stuff. Yes. What's up, buddy? I've been a fan forever ever since Torgasm and something that's been bothering me for a little while Not this past Christmas show the one before that. Yeah, I came up to you. I was very forthcoming So I'm a big fan. I gave you a gift and you gave me the nastiest look I did What did you give me? I gave you a hoodie with Corey Feldman as Michael Jackson I said hi Bobby I'm absurd more I don't know if you know I do a lot of Photoshop You gave me the meanest look Can I just say something? I don't like Puerto Ricans

I'm not a fan of your people So when you come up on the street I get nervous and scared I don't want to buy any cologne get away from me It's not you it's just your face You looked at me like I was asking for a ransom money for max. No Yeah, dude, I guess I'll take your bag of garbage We're gonna do where this I'm so sorry Well, maybe it was the old Bobby Maybe that was the old Bobby though. No maybe it was the old Bobby. If anything.

Maybe that was the old Bobby though. No, it's not the old. I'm too good. I think last week, I think you shed a lot of that last remaining anger. No, not at all. I did that? Was it, did something happen before it?

Yeah, yeah, you farted in your hand and put it under his nose. The whole thing was really disrespectful. So sorry, buddy. How'd you feel when you went home that night after meeting one of your heroes and having them be so rude to you? Felt very bad.

Bad buddy, I feel terrible right now. Can I give you a dum dum? Bobby. I gave you a gift, I get to see it on any podcast. That's why those things happen to you. Is this this year, Christine? It's that behavior. Is this this year?

Yeah. Christine, is this this year? It's for New Orleans. You can go, I'm not going. He's making digital voodoo dolls now. Actually. Be mean to me, you're fat. Did you do that?

Did you do that? You motherfucker. Well, be nicer. Yeah this was for the Vegas, remember they made you a fat robot? Now I made you a fat robot with a real stomach and belly button. It's so lifelike.

I feel terrible about that. I think something might have happened or right before that, I might have, someone might have, I never would do that. I appreciate you, man. Look at Christine on Love Connection. I just tweeted out this handle, so go look, because these are all so funny. Oh my god.

So good. I'm going to get you a gift, dude. I have this hoodie with me and with Michael Jackson. You like catches? I'm going to give you this hoodie. Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot when Kevin just talked Hannah Gatsby Well, we want to talk about shiprocked I want to talk about shiprocked and I want to go yeah you with Mike or Miami and then we got on

Very easy getting on the boat. I will say it wasn't too much of a ordeal. Well your talent, huh? Yeah, we got the talent treatment everywhere we went no no for sure I'm saying that's good, so it's not that like it's they could still be a pain in the ass sometimes We've done it. We're still sort of a pain in the ass. This was you move right on you guys kept all your bags Yes I'm gonna give you the first guest pivin That's the first guest pivot ever That you can have and I apologize. I like that.

From whatever I was going through or whatever I did. You shouldn't have had to go through that. Thank you for being a fan all these years. And I'm sorry about that. You can have it for 25 minutes. Alright Jacob, could you fucking not downplay it? You piece of shit. I want you to tell Christine all the jewelry is fake.

Why don't you let him, uh, Why don't you let him, uh him put Dawn's face on the glass? Maybe that'll make it better. You want me to let him take my wife's face and push it against a window? It's Black History Month. Don't say that. You don't know what I was gonna say.

He's charging up like Godzilla. He's gonna run out of big one. You know what? was going to say. He's charging up like Godzilla. He's going to run out of big ones. Woof, woof. You know what? Yeah. Like baby Godzilla. But on baby Godzilla, it just comes like this. Woof, woof, woof. It rings.

Woof, woof, woof. Baby Godzilla. I love baby Godzilla. Woof. I only got to see. there comes the next Photoshop in the two and a half days that I was on Shiprock I got to see one band that I was like in this going to see was pod. We saw pod first night Ripped it brought it there. Come on brought the house down people of distraction, huh? What's the name again? What does POD stand for? Oh, Payable Upon Death.

On Death. Payable On Death, yeah. Is that good? POD? Yeah. You know POD? Yeah, man, POD. Gonna make it, gonna go down.

They actually fucking rock. Let me hear. I've heard them a few times. This is from Shipwrecked. I don't know POD like you know POD. No, you absolutely do. Alright, tell me the song that I know Oh, this okay. Yeah, this was the show that we were you uh

You know here comes the boom you know is this where you're standing go to just go to the songs that like the hits The you know is this the actual cruise I was yes No go to the part of their shit go to the part of the set where the guitar player admonished the Handicap section for not standing up and getting up for them section for not standing up and getting up for them. That was good. Really? Yeah. They all talk like strong bad too, so he's like, this is the lazy section right here,

why aren't you guys on your feet? And they put like the spotlight on this front row group and you could see them waving their hands at him. He's just tuning his guitar, he's like, what's up, why aren't you guys on your feet? I guess the people who sit the closest don't feel like dancing and moving Also Tim kept pointing out that that's my favorite dude He does like like we just like like to shred motions like to the audience But not not shredding at all He was like go out there and play the actual like rhythm guitar part of it

But then yeah, and then at the end of it just be like So I put your foot up on the fucking monitor and then just play the rhythm? Yeah. Come on, turn this up. I know how to be the man that we know what to do. What to do? Me and my crew, we stay true.

Old school and new. Many will call, but the shows in the future. Early odds rap rock. I'm still the dodger boy just in case you forgot. Rush to stay out. That guy looks like me. Show me what you got. You didn't know how he was doing to see.

Oh, yeah. It's all right. It's all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't know. You know why she's smiling at me. Yeah, I remember this song. And then come on, their biggest hit, uh, do Youth of the Nation. I feel so alive. Come on, man. Hit after hit after hit. I mean, take a two. Hit after hit after hit after hit after hit after hit. That's about it. Four hits. Four hits. Yeah, that's four hits. Now this is when they were younger.

Oh, southbound? Nope. Because it looks like physically they look different. This is all them younger. Okay, this is younger, but now they're fat in jumpsuits. They're keeping it together. No, he looks alright. They look fine.

He grew his dreads back too. One year they had like the two hottest girls I'd ever seen on the boat and they were just hot chicks the entire time. You remember this song, right? I do. Yeah. We are the youth of the nation. I do. I like this band. I just didn't I now play I feel so alive So what happened they were on this thing? You said you you I don't know pod I'm showing showing you know you know them you would have known several songs I want to hear I want you spill some tea. Did we say what happened about when they were telling the people to stand up? What do you mean? Oh, no, no with the handicapped people? Yeah, please. Oh, yeah, so so he's in between songs to these stories Why you use the ladies? Why don't you go stand up? And then they finally get his intention

They're trying to explain that it's a guy with one leg that he's talking to he's holding his prosthetic leg in the air And they don't do like a joke or anything. No excuse pussy He said I'm not trying to discriminate and they just went into playing fucking South town. Yeah Bobby this song this will be three Yeah, I like this song too. Yeah. Ah, feel so alive. I love when guys pretend to have an English accent. They're Mexican California people.

Yeah. When they sing with that, that thing. We're so alive. Um, and then South town And this is it, Bobby. After this... Wow, this must have been great to see. This was actually the highlight. This song on the last day, they played on the deck. At night. Yeah. Completely packed. All three levels. Completely full. At this point we're on our way back so the ship is trucking through the water. The wind is going crazy. There's like water coming off of the water park on us. We're being sprayed and they hit South Town and everyone went fucking bananas.

Ah, that's awesome. What was that hippie Fanoia doing? Reading a book somewhere? Nah, we were going to that point. Terrorizing! Terrorizing the Malaysian staff of the boat the whole week. The Malaysian staff was getting the biz, dude. Why? What was happening? What was mean to the staff?

Why was he mean to the staff? He was stern. He wasn't mean to the staff. Why were you stern with Filipinos? Because he's over it. Over what? Their fucking Filipino shit. Well, he really moved to Connecticut

and became uppity, didn't he? He was. Mike was. What? Mike was over it. When you think about Mike Fennoy as a Shiprock's choice, might not be the best... Why was he the mesh? Old mean Mike showed his face on the cruise.

Mike is a very nice guy, but almost... One of the nicest I've ever met. But almost too nice. There's something behind it. He's hiding a darkness. I mean... Hey, what's up Bob hey Mike hey Mike how you doing buddy we found the yang to his yin on this trip he was ready to explode why I don't know what I don't know what what turned his mood was it might have been actually it might have been me making fun of him for flipping out all people probably

Okay, what it's just uh The one that got me a catering was really funny was these guys are they're puzzled non-english-speaking People whose full job is to slave like squirt disinfected on your hands That's the job That's what they live and die for, these people. And he's standing there while Mike's in line, we're all in line waiting for like shitty pizza or something, and he's just looking,

and Mike just has like a, Mike just looks at me, he's like, what's, he's like, can I help you, man? And I'm like, Mike, he's here to squirt juice on your hands, he's like, I know, but it's like, he's like, can I help you? He's fucking looking at me. I'm like, he's, I swear to God, he's like, he's like

And the guy just like Doing gorilla sign language to clean Mike's hands for him. I'm like so you got a fucking problem Staring right at me. I'm not going anywhere Fucking go get me out Maybe leave you want me to leave anybody want you to leave right? Yeah, the guys coming. I'm like I got every right to be here, man It was like kind of like a quiet little thing in the moment almost passed and I said Mike what the fuck was that? He goes whoa what like he clearly thought it was gonna go under the radar. He was like I mean I was just like messing around a little bit. No you weren't. Hey you can't razz a guy by asking him what his fucking problem is. Why is he staring at you?

Well what man? What? Just say no thank you. Oh no I'm good thank you. They're slaves. So I wouldn't stop bringing it up and then every interaction that he had with anybody as soon as it was over I'd be like, Mike what the fuck? You just clapped. Damn man, the guy just asked if you want a beer. That's the worst when you're on tilt.

Uh, shit. So. Mike's got patience for one thing. So it's like, do you know what I mean? So he could be like- A song to get to the fucking point. If he was calling like the thing that order like drinks or something, right? Yeah.

He's got one patience in him. So he's got a, yeah, I don't know. I guess like four Miller lights. And it's like, then I guess Michelob Ultras then. And then by the next one, it's a rap. It's like, what do you have? How about let's start with what do you have before you can tell me what you don't have? You know, it's like that.

And you're like. You've already popped. He also had another really good move. He's got one patience in him. He has one what? One patience? So if he gets ice cream, it's like, can I get chocolate? Do you want sprinkles? Did I say sprinkles? No, because you've already used up my one patience.

I think it's not even one patience per person, it's one patience in general. Maybe time. He might have a cool down of 30 minutes on that one patience, dude. One patience per person in general Cool down of 30 minutes on that one patient But your fucking calf off there's something that will turn quick. We'll marine dude. It makes me. It's like a rescue dog I know I bit this lowly janitor He also did a really fun thing anytime we were in the buffets

Whatever he was getting it was instead of reaching for it He would ask someone behind if they had a fresh one that they could give him instead And so he constantly had people running brand new stuff out for him, and I didn't get a chance to get in his ass about it. Oh, I tell you what, I didn't even know so much of that. I just know that he came to the table one time, I go, where'd you get that pasta from? He's like, I had to make it.

I go, what? I go, because they have pasta out, but it has red sauce on it. He goes, yeah, I just see if he'd make a little with a little oil and garlic. Yeah, if you ask him, they'll do it. Wait. He's one of those.

He was asking for new food at the buffet every time he went to the buffet. Not even new food, different food. I was like, hey, do you have any of that without potatoes in it? Could you just run up a new batch real quick? And then he turned to me and he'd be like, I do like the idea though.

He turned to me and he'd be like, they'll do it if you ask. I was like, okay. They don't turn to me and be like, and you turn to me and be like, they'll do it if you ask. I was like, okay. They don't want to. I do want to tell you what though, I don't like a place that has the ingredients but won't make the thing. And I say, that's where me and Mike will bond on that.

Don't tell me you can't do the thing. It's like, hey, can I get a this? And they go, we can. He goes, sure you can. Cause there's, I'm looking at all the ingredients laid out. I know, but they're they're cooking for 5000 people. Yeah, not a cracker barrel. It's not like you're 70 miles out in the middle of nowhere.

These guys barely speak English and they got a bald angry guy coming up. Yeah, make something different. Hey, fuck face. I like clean pasta. I know you guys made a pasta and pizza. You got a peanut butter jelly back there. You can flip up for me. You throw me a catch you a pet baby real quick, jelly back there you can flip up for me. You throw me together a Cacio e pepe real quick, please You have everything you need for it

Your pepper your pasta shave some parmigiano reggiano on it They'll do it if you ask did you guys did you guys ever make it to a restaurant Only on the beach in Half Moon Cay, they did like a barbecue catering thing out there, the rest of it we just did the buffet. And it was fine. Well it is funny because you go on to these truces with people and there is a breaking point,

a tension point that you hit, and you can either hit it like right away or towards the end there's a point where somebody's gonna go, hey man. Fanois is day two, mine's is day four. I sounds like Fanois was like in Miami. Fanois had it in Hartford. It was night one, we were in Jay's cabin

and he was grabbing beers for us before we walked out and down to whatever, I think it was guess it was POD, right? Yeah. And that was when you were like, hey Mike, you want a beer? And uh. Oh dude, that, the tone of it, that's what it,

he laughed about it all weekend too, it's funny. It's again, it's just his, he can't hide any emotion or he just shows the wrong on his face sometimes, but it was such a, I laughed the whole walk because of how funny this was, the exact interaction. I went, Mike, do you want a beer to bring with you and he goes excuse me What do you think it possibly was Excuse me

Excuse me goes I didn't call you a pussy for sure I just asked if you wanted a beer for the walk Was this day one Excuse me Wow Did something happen at like now the club at Miami did he get frustrated Tim you had him for like two extra days on your own no Oh, he came left with Jay. Oh, he left with you? Just me and my wife trying to kill each other.

What do you mean, you're in Miami together? We did Miami and in the boat together, but they left on Wednesday and I stayed so fast. We did Miami, we all got an Airbnb, so we stayed in an Airbnb together. Oh, you stayed on the boat longer? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that, you left earlier.

Yeah, Tim stayed till the end, yeah, we got off. Okay. Or else, yeah, then it would have been me, Fanoia, and me both ruining Tim. By the end, it would have been us ruining their time. It was like, you wanna go watch a band? Like, dude, I don't know. Yes?

What else did Mike do? I did, what else did Mike do? I know there's more. Mike, can I give you a couple hundred bucks? Yeah. What? No, he uh. Mike, I set up massages for us this afternoon.

You cool with that? Well, when we got off the boat, he had bad sea legs when he got off the boat. So the day off the boat, definitely I was like, we just got fucked all around. We got off the boat and then they were like, they made us get off kinda early and then, like the flight just kept getting delayed.

Like by like a half hour to an hour each time. So we ended up getting a hotel room by the thing. Which you had that you canceled. Right, had it, canceled the room, then regot it again. The hotel. Speak a tone. The hotel, and again, it's island shit, I guess people say. Like the lax-a-daisy effort.

There was one other person, another another couple an older couple in the lobby We weren't even talked to For 30 minutes Christine was on hold for 20 of those minutes on the phone. I'm already there She was trying to call since before I got to the hotel I'm there now and they're whole finally when they talked to me. I was like, hey I think my girlfriend called him like set up a room for me here And she was like I gave the name and she's like no no and I go She called and she goes oh, she's still on hold. I don't think she's made the thing yet, and I was like oh you

Yeah, she said she's been on hold for like a half hour and the lady does this with her hand she goes yeah No, I know, but I mean like and she does like to look at this lobby She was we have I'm slammed I go nothing is happening Give her a credit card number and I was like wait I think she picked up I was like I think you're taught I was like I think my boyfriend's standing in front of you Me lose it me almost almost crying at a point then I was like all right We're we're flying out four or five hours past what we thought.

We're sitting in this hotel room, by the way. It's called a resort. It's a fucking bungalow. It's a shitty place, this hotel. It's really bad. It was a resort walkable to the airport. Yeah. It was a shitty, shitty place.

So we're in this room watching a P. Diddy documentary that came out on Peacock and just killing time. Mike says he's got sea legs so he's in a bad mood. I, at one point, we're both like, I go, hey, is there a restaurant at this hotel, this resort? No. Okay, can we order food from somebody? Is there anywhere to deliver?

And she goes, yeah, Domino's. Like she goes, Domino's, I go, Domino's Pizza? She's like, yeah, that's all it delivers. And I go, all right, well, can I get the number for that? And she gives it to me and I go to the room and I call and I go, hey, I need to get a delivery to, they go, we don't deliver. I went, no, I don't know.

This is Domino's Pizza, right? And they're like, yeah. I go, you don't deliver? And they go, no, we don't deliver. This is Domino's Pizza, right? And they're like, yeah. I go, you don't deliver? And they go, no, we don't deliver. I go, Domino's from the commercials? Like, Domino's. Because I think your entire thing is based on a delivery system.

You invented the 30 Minutes or Nest, the Noid. They fixed the roads sometimes in some of these shitty places. They made a real big deal about it. They have robots. You have robots to deliver. Pizza tracking software just for this. There's an app, there's an app. They're like, we don't deliver.

I go, that's impossible. You've gotta be broken off. There's no way you report that back to franchise headquarters because they're not gonna be okay with that. So we had, I got a little bag, because you also had to have dollar bills, which they did not have at the place.

But Mike had like two or three, and I got a little bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, and he got a little thing of Fritos, and we watched P. Diddy and then got on a plane. Frustrating, went home. Really. Can I just say something? I don't think sea legs is a thing.

It is. It is, but not sitting down. I don't think after you get off a boat, you can have sea legs. Absolutely. The Miami airport felt like it was rocking. Yeah, it's weird. No, I did tour you don't tour bus You never got that when you get off a tour, but that actually scared me the first time I did a tour bus Not the first time I guess but when I was on that uh that first corn tour and we stopped after three days

The first three days we stopped at a hotel for the night and I was taking a shit in the bathroom And I thought I was gonna throw up because it just felt like the room was just like moving around I thought the sea legs were like for leaning the knee and the pinter and the Santa Maria you get Luxury cruise ship. Oh, you think it's like smallpox and scurvy. Yeah, just things you haven't heard of since pirate times I thought the boats wish the better now. No way they fucking rock dude. The boat was throwing shit around I thought the boats were better now. No way, they fucking rocked. Dude, the boat was throwing shit around. Well, so you had a good time.

Nobody got, nobody got. POD was great. We didn't really get to watch much other music. I saw a bunch of other bands after you guys left. Yeah, yeah, you guys. Wasn't there a band you were here, you were like, that was the big B band you wanted to see. Oh my God, dude.

I almost don't wanna talk about this. Why? I know, you had one thing you were really looking forward to for months. Six months of anticipation to see Buck Cherry, and their dripping wet performance of Crazy Bitch that they stretched to 12 minutes with this slow jam, pornographic soliloquy in the middle about having sex with a slut. A crazy bitch. A crazy bitch.

And I basically was building the entire cruise around being there with my wife while this guy was making fuck noises and talking about getting his dick sucked. Part of my decision to get off the boat early lended itself to, well I want to give Tim and Mary Jo some time because they've made a promise to each other to be in midcoitus in the audience. I had intended to climax just as he got to the point of fucking this crazy bitch in the song. That's when semen comes out of your penis. I know what that is.

Oh, you were saying what? I'm saying what as in like, holy shit. Apologies. You're gonna have sex with your wife on a deck. My wife knew how important this was to me. Well, we saw them twice actually. I saw Bucket cherry twice on one boat in the theater and on the deck and First of all, they stretched the set to 90 minutes with a bunch of like really bullshit covers. Yeah, they're more of a dome team It's more of an indoor grass

The I mean they were playing they played the summer of 69 I Don't know if that was like a I love that song But that's I don't need buck chair. It was a straightforward. No frills. No pizzazz. No cock polish cover Yeah, the summer of 69 they played like I don't care. I love it. Yeah, it really changed. I love it to say fuck it. Yeah, you know Yeah, by the way, by the way, he is that guy you could tell and just listen him talk Oh, he's a guy that's simplicity that simple bullshit So it will say fucking instead. He's mine. He was like we did something tonight his current

Uh his current hot phrase right now is kind of get some OMD. That's old man dick Yeah, dude and uh So I'm a bitch taste skinny though, doesn't he? The set's not going great. It's completely fluffed out. It sucks fucking dick. It was during the day also here. So you're not hard.

You were somewhere trying to find your wife. This was Friday. The first time I saw them was Wednesday in the theater called POD. Okay. And you know, we're getting kind of antsy because it sucks so fucking bad. Is the theater better than outside?

It depends. At night, outside was awesome. Yeah, nighttime outside was. Is the theater better than outside? It depends. At night, outside was awesome. Yeah, nighttime outside was. During the day, it kinda just felt like being at a tailgate for too long. Were the stowaways great? Yeah, they were fun all the time. That's for sure, yeah.

Yeah, they were fucking awesome. But Buckcherry was doing the same thing. They were playing like weird dumb covers with no twist to it. And so they saved the crazy bitch for last last and he's teasing it the whole time He's like, yeah, I know you why y'all here You want to hear the crazy bitch and they'd be like, yeah And then he he does a lot of like affectations that are like girly sexy. So he'd be like, oh fuck

Y'all want to hear the crazy bitch She's like, I know y'all want to hear the crazy bitch. They'd be like, oh, he goes, oh, shit. It's like Paul Stanley. Sounds like Jacob working out. He said, oh, yeah, yeah. He said, oh, fuck yeah. Come on, one more. My back, my back.

He said, you know you were at a Buck Cherry concert when you hear that first. Fuck yeah. So Wednesday night, we're in the theater theater and they finally get the crazy bitch and they start slowing it down and they're like working covers into it and yeah that's their whole thing and he gets to the part where it's time to start like really laying it on and I don't know if he was just bummed about performing on a cruise ship for the 15th time. He just totally fucking phoned it in he was like you know they slow it in. He was like, you know, they slow it down and he's like about to start his thing and he's like, yeah,

what? And he goes, uh, well, are we having a good time? Ship rocked. And they're just like, yeah. He goes, what's what night is it? Is it Wednesday night? And they go, yeah. He goes, and then he starts freestyle rapping about it being Wednesday night, And they go yeah, he goes and then he starts freestyle rapping about it being Wednesday night The entire ten minutes he just goes it's Wednesday night and tonight's tonight This is how that was crazy bitch, can I hear his rap because Wednesday night and tonight's tonight And it goes nowhere. It's completely devoid.

This is it. Go ahead. This video is only three minutes. I'm not sure how long the whole thing was. I guarantee everyone that was waiting for it started recording and when they heard it's Wednesday night and we're in the spot, they all put their fucking phones down.

Oh fuck no. Shit. Oh Does look good though yes Mary Joe said he moves like Joe Biden This is Joe DeRosa's dream. According to his songs. I was gonna ask, did he do lit up? I like that cocaine. I love that cocaine. I think they opened with that. That's their best song. So they completely, I mean, it just was such a massive disappointment. It was the only blemish on the entire 10-day trip. I mean, it looks pretty good to me.

Looks like an experience to me. Oh, for sure. And we got to feel stupid about it, and that was fine. But then I- Hang on, DJ Lou's giving me sign language. You want to finger my ass in a circular motion? What do you think that's gonna get some stuff out? He didn't start some like sexual stuff here and there he told a song about a

Babysitter there you wanted to have sex with and he said this one's about a big tits and a fat ass And the guitar player gets on the mic he goes hey, man. There's kids in the front Big tits and a fat ass I'm talking about my lovely wife Tim butterly check out the chim Tim butterly show and you can check out dad meat available wherever you listen to podcast and YouTube both on YouTube also I thought it's Tim butterly's show. Tim Butterly's show. I'm not picky, don't worry about it. Not the Tim Butterly show. Tim Butterly's show. Tim Butterly's show. I like that.

Tim Butterly's show. And Dad Meet, available wherever you listen to and get podcasts. Tim's also going to be at Wise Guys in Las Vegas March 7th and 8th. For tickets and all of his tour dates, go to timbutterly.com. And of course, Robert Kelly's going to be at Governor's Levittown, New York, February 7th and 8th. My ex-wife's asking to open for you. I would say no, but you don't care. Of course. After that he's

gonna be in Naples, Philadelphia, and Denver. I say she's a horrible devil wool lady, but you love her. I'm good. You love her so hard. I love everybody. And every Tuesday night you can catch Bobby at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge, the comedy seller. And you make sure you get his tickets for that at punchup.live slash Robert Kelly and Gurus YouTube. Robert Kelly Comedy. Big J is gonna be at the Funny Bone Orlando February 7th and 8th, and Syracuse February 14th and 15th.

After that, Los Angeles, Ontario, California, Indianapolis, Baltimore for tickets and all the dates. BigJComedy.com. Guys, we'll be right back. No we won't. We're done, have a great day. Timmy, thank you. Tim, good to see you buddy.

Thanks for being here buddy. Thank you guys for having me. Bobby, it was great to see you again. Good to see you buddy.