The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Secret Time

Episode Date: September 30, 2022

Dan reveals a big secret he's been keeping from the world about his looks!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Hey, I'm gonna try to do like the radio thing and keep one headphone off my ear and then inevitably. Oh, she can keep your head in the game. It's our production also. I can just, I'm over here. Luke, cue me up. I can do this.

I can, I can give Christina, it's very awkward. I don't point. I give her Clinton thumb. Yeah, and like, or I rise. Or maybe also, also a settle down and Christine knows just by eye contact That means bring that up Well, what I just well trained girl Welcome to the bonfire series XM faction talk 103. I'm Dan Soder. I have beautiful son of a bitch is big J. Ocarson

Hey, bud go see him this weekend in Madison was constant comedy on state big J comedy dot com for tickets I'm running my special so I get it. Yeah go get go get J sound you know J Jason get Jason get Jason get son J son yeah I'm still point for the 13th still love it still out here killing I call me on Sunday I had a very interesting thing I guess I'll have mentioned to Lewis at this point, but you know me and Lewis, uh, J. Gomez, he's probably gonna run a sticker playing a NBA 2K game at Skankfest. For a gun, it's gun in the butt too.

For a duck hunt controller, up the shitter. Damn. Now, I'm a shoe into win this. It's funny if I don't win, but I will say I think it's it's mine to lose. Then the chat, then the is going to start. Did you take a dive so you can take a gun in the butt? Maybe I love it up the ass. Yeah, this is all a root. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, you got to win or else this is going to look like you took a dive, dude. Oh, yeah. I want you to go down in the third quarter before a gun in the butt. You got a problem with that? I, um, no, but I just, yeah, I was breaking stuff.

Good job, series. I have a phone. Black, black, I call a microphone. Our blacking, the black tiger, Lewis. John's and so on. Yeah, butter fingers. John's.

Also Jacob Christina and DJ Leroy here, but I, yeah. This, my thumb is wrecked right now from basketball today. I fucking jammed it bad Are you gonna have to have it right are you gonna be in a thumps sling at skankfest? I may be I'll tell you this like a like one of those risk guards I for sure today, and I don't know how long it's gonna hurt this much. I can't Put any pressure on so I cannot play video games today When you play you you're going to be like, ah, Christine, it's hurting again. She's like, I'm going to pop it. You got to pop it like Mel Gibson and Litha Wuppet.

Pop it. Pop it. I guess slam it against her. Yeah. I got to, uh, yeah, Lucy. I want to watch Dom or all night tonight instead. You're, you're isit, you know, you don't want to ice it. For sure. Maybe do some light thumb wrestling with Christine just to get it on the mat. Have it work a little. Just get it dancing around a little bit. Get the footwork down. Are you how bad is it? Is it because I mean jamming your thumb. Jamming any finger in this hours ago now and it's two

hours ago easily and it's throbbing. I honestly, I feel like you should be holding that drink. That was a big part of it too. I'm just putting it out there. I think in between shows, we go to Dwayne Reed, get you one of those ice packs. And you have the ice pack on your hand. I can do it. Steve will understand the pain.

That's where I can't look like a pussy. Steve open this. Yeah, I got that staple stuff to him. I'll get it. He's like, I lose two teeth a week. Yeah. Oh, he's jammed on. That sucks. I don't have toes. I lost all my toes.

Man, that sucks. You'll be fine by scanning first. You'll be ready to ride. Also, what team is Lewis bringing? I know you're bringing the six. That's okay. So you're not giving them like an old star team. No, not an old star team. But Brooklyn, that's, I mean, just got, they're in the Irving. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good matchup.

And they have, if I don't know what roster he's using, but if they have Andre Drummond, that's not an easy and beat back down. There's plenty of centers in the game. You can toss to him, Beatty's knocking them back. They eventually have to double team, and then you kick it out for the three, but Andre Drummond can hold them. We were gonna do a game, You can toss to him be he's knocking them back there eventually have to double team and you kick it out for the three but

Andre Drummond can hold them we were gonna do an again We're gonna make it like a Christmas day. Some doesn't work. We're gonna make it like a Christmas day schedule and have Dave and I play nuggets versus nicks and then loser docs No matter what happens. There's you're gonna win. I think they're talking no matter I think they're all gonna be preliminaries and Dave hasn't played in years. Oh, I'm not. I suck at NBA 2K. Madden, I'll fucking mop him up.

But there should be preliminaries. That'd be fun. You know, have like some of the interns play. Yeah. While they're warming it up. Who's gonna host that bad boy? Who knows about basketball that's good at hosting? Josh Adam Myers.

Dan Soder. I don't know about basketball on the football guy You don't understand the game of basketball. I don't I live on the grid. I live on the grid iron. I live sideline to sideline I thought that it was Jay and I was playing in you and Dave Comment that was the initial idea For you did the comment. Yeah, yeah, you said you would do that right? It's something like, Well, that's fun. All right, we're gonna book it on air. I'm just gonna be responsible.

No, I know. I'm also a pot-headed. Wait, I'm like, are you not doing it? My schedule's going to our room right now. I'm gonna deadline it. So I mean, once I get the schedule, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm doing that. You guys, you and Dave Smith are comments.

That'd be great. What day is that? Friday. Fuck yeah, that's bonfire in that that's fun as hell first day That's great. It's before bonfire right yeah, I I Man we might get you coming in with a gun right up your turists. No the actual guns got to us at the end of the game now I don't know remember are you gonna do it at skanks? We hopped on a there was a group text where There was some questions

that weren't yesterday no answers, but the response was no. Yeah, Lewis. So. No, we should have, it should be a good, we're doing a skanks the last night. You're doing Skanks all three nights. So Sunday there's a skanks night. Yes.

Night time? Yes. After Killtony. Wait. So Sunday there's a skank's night. Yes nighttime. Yes after kill Tony Wait, I Don't know the schedule dude, huh? You're locked in no. I just what I do know is Sunday you're doing a skanks the day You take your special that yeah that night. I know that a skank fest to him. I'm gonna do I Know that I'm off

schedule circumstances happen to be the case from five till like nine p.m. Yeah, have like a four hour break there. We need to go get you. That is the exact Eagles Cowboys game. No shit on Sunday. So yeah, a bunch of people are gonna go watch it somewhere. I mean, they're like in some room.

We're gonna figure out how to watch it. But that's gonna be fun. I'll be gone. I'll be back in New York. Yeah, you'll be gone by then. But I'll be I'm going Thursday through Saturday. Um, through Saturday night to baby boys special taping. Yeah. Gonna hang in the comedy jam drink kines euros.

Oh my god. I'm getting fat from drinking on my NA's. You're gonna live it. It's a lot of weight. We're gonna see it. We're getting all the weight of beer and not the coolness of it. It's a lot of weight. We're gonna see it right. We're getting all the weight of beer and not the coolness of it.

A lot of firsts, first time we've had video games, it's gonna be the first time. Bonfire's traveled to it. It's very exciting. Yeah, because we did Brooklyn. Yeah, we did Brooklyn before. I'm saying four on the road. A road show with the boys.

Do you know what the stage looks like for the live ball and fire? Where, what room's it happening in? Shandleer. Yeah. Okay. It's great. It's, it's where that's something.

Jacob's cooking up something fun. It's cool, the big, it looks vegasy. Yeah, it looks like a big lounge space. But it's, like there could be like Frank Sinatra impersonator. It's what would have been the ticket counter though for a movie theater. Oh turned into a bar Performance space. It sounds like this area with all its different rooms fun place to

C-shows, but also do drugs You're like that's a chandelier room. I think they're gonna lock me. I they're gonna lock the unused theaters. I assume yeah Because there's something that are just like warehouse. He looks till the zombie show up It's a shandalier, I think they're gonna lock the, they're gonna lock the unused theaters I assume. Yeah. Yeah. Cause there's something that are just like warehouse, you look like. So the zombies show up. I really don't have much of a choice, do you? The stadium seating is gonna be interesting.

I'm glad with them. The movie theater seating on some of the rooms. Oh really? Yeah. I've bombed in so many movie theaters that I'll probably have flashed right now. Me too. Do you remember that video?

Remember the video of the girl who got up and started doing comedy that no one asked for? Oh, in a movie theater. Do you remember that? Yeah Remember the video of the girl who got up and started doing comedy? No one asked for in a movie theater. Do you remember that? Yeah, did we we didn't watch that? No, no, no, this shows. It's a million years ago. You could absolutely bring that up No, that was like a year ago, right? At least it was it was it was during quarantine. Yeah She just it was in LA and she just stood up and started doing well the movie was projector was had been problems so she was was like, I'll save the day and no one asked for it. You never saw this plug, this is worth the peak.

That's always in movies where like the little girls afraid to sing and then the grandmother's like, come on baby. And then she's like, oh, everyone's like, this is great. But no one asks for this. Nobody. Nobody wants someone to just randomly do stand up. Oh, people were like, man, if you did that, they were like, people, a complimentary, but they're like. Oh people were like man if you did that They're like people a complimentary but they're like I mean if you did that like you would kill like no, I wouldn't necessarily it's it's a weird situation

This psychopath is crazy for thinking she could do it. I go I go to book spots sometimes feeling like they don't want me to do it It's early comedy shit when you talk about Comedy with such passion. That's why I said in all those tropes that are Absolute garbage bullshit. Yeah, like you're a real comic anywhere. There's a microphone. You'll get up on stage and do your thing like no That's a horrific Sometimes there's a lot a live microphone to Benagans just grab the microphone and start bothering people That's Corey Feldman behavior But it's also

What the fuck is up Danny's is that, what the fuck is up, Denny? It's that energy. What the fuck is up, Benagans? Um, shout out, Benagans. We are looking at becoming owners of a franchise. Dubai. In Dubai. In the port of Dubai.

Dubai, I'm just... Um, yeah, I suffered through that dumb belief. I wasn't smart enough to be like, oh, yeah, this is a worth your time. The first like two years I lived in New York, I would just bomb in places. The three two years ago, I just stopped you from you like, hey, can I get out of the show five minutes early? I'm doing a bar out in Cape Cod. That someone asked me to do last week in an open mic. Why are you saying yes to everything?

Yeah, I was saying I got to go to a tattoo shop in deep deep Brooklyn So if I just squeeze stack breaks I got to get on the D train for 40 minutes. Yeah, I promise guy Damn, why are you doing that? Well the guy told me Greer Barnes did it and Mark Norman did it It's always the Mark Norman Mark Norman Greer Mark Norman did it and had a hell of a set And then you're like, well, I'll do it. And you're like, also, also the passive aggressive like, I know your big time and get a lot of money, but it's like, we can give you 50 bucks and free drinks and, you know, like, please stop. Yeah. None of this is a thing. That was the first room. That's the room we're doing bonfire It's cool

The stage is by that arrow right there that she's around yeah, it's not there now. It's the lobby of a movie theater. Oh big is that room Stands a thousand Okay, why you get nervous get performance anxiety. Yeah, why masterpiece? You did you got a show to the cause is this is your moment. I'm gonna also go There's 2500 people there. I'm gonna be at least right? I'm ready I'm committed. Yeah, you gotta get into it It'll be fun. We're a Jay's thumbs gonna heal

Everyone's gonna have a great time my thumbs gonna heal or I'm gonna have a duck on control at my butt I knew where you thinking about doing that Sunday night that reveal what's gangster Everyone's gonna have a great time. My thumb's gonna heal, or I'm gonna have a duck on control at my butt. I knew where you're thinking about doing that Sunday night, that reveal what? Skanks, the gun in the butt, the gun in the actual butt. Oh, yeah, I think it should be done on the LASKanks. Yeah, it's like breaking a champagne bottle on a ship. That thing says that.

Goodbye. It's afternoon. Skanks? Stop, stop, stop. So that's the one we should do it at, though. It should be presented to us, ganks. That was exactly what I said. Yeah.

We should bring it out on a pillow. Oh, the gun. Yeah, for sure. You have to respect it. He offered me, thank God, I didn't take it. Because I mean, I think my thumb's going to be fine by then. At least I got a press on it too. Do you think, let me just say?

I literally, I'm telling you tonight, like it's bummer, because I can go on the night and play video games all night, Christine's doing whatever, but I my thumb I literally couldn't put pressure on it. Do you feel at any point that like video games you sometimes you can put some pressure on, you don't play as well because you're like on yourself. Yeah. I've practiced playing loose. I don't know how else to describe it Cuz Lewis is also here's the thing when you place someone in a video game that doesn't know it at all There's almost like this innocence of shit talking that can really fucking wobble you where they're just like Shit talking all like they'll just notice something that a person that plays the game all the time wouldn't know

He's like, oh you really like to go to the corner and shoot and you're like yeah, I do and then you stop And yeah, cuz then you're like what I'm the corner and shoot and you're like, yeah, I do. And then you stop and do it. And yeah, because then you're like, what, I'm not gonna say that's all I can do. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I'm picking Roland into the ground. I mean, he would, he probably won't even know what that it is. And that'll just be like, your guy's tackling my guy.

Have him stop tackling my guy. He's deep standing in the way. He's just gonna launch through his dude. You know, Nick Novicki, our buddy, comic, Nate's buddy. I used to stay with him in LA when I got LA and we would play NBA 2K and he just launches threes with the Celtics.

And sometimes, I was gonna say keep in mind, Lewis might do that with Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant. That's what I mean. Sometimes people just lob threes and that's when you start getting video game angry where you're okay, well, I was Pete Davidson's game dude you come over He shot only threes and when he shot it. Yeah when the ball went in the air he'd stand up To wait for it see if it goes in or not if it didn't go and he would just sit back down

But then he had like a whole like a like a snap are you splitting? Pump thing I'd play him in Madden and he would go for it on like fourth and twelve You're like hey, can you not do this? This isn't fun. I'm gonna take the ball away from you and then you're gonna be defeated when I'm at your fucking twelve yard line Damn, yeah really son does ass I'm just letting you know I'm we're just I'm gonna keep shooting three's the whole time. No, I was getting mad because it ruins the game This is someone who goes for forward on fourth down on Madden

is a chump ass hole. Piece of shit, it was understandable, Paul. But you're just being like, you just want it. You heard it here first, folks. Jay is anti-no punt rule. No pun is crazy. No pun is crazy. Now listen, if we agreed to play a fun game

that there just are no puns, You know, we do no ground game UFC. Yeah, we do all just standing UFC even if we knock the guy down and if the next punch when he's on the ground Could knock him out. You got to let him back up So if we did a game that was no punts that would be a lot of fun maybe but if you're playing a game and like hey if I am if I have fourth and one on my own 30 yard line, you have to punt. Yeah. By the way, situationally, yeah, there's a chance you have to go for it. You're down by too much. You're gonna be, I mean, someone in the first quarter going for it on first day or fourth down is I think I think we should play no fourth, no punting next time I'm over. Yeah, you have to go for it.

Yeah, Dan's gonna be by 67 points. I'm gonna slaughter only at 67 I'll try I'm saying though because then I might go for it and then you get it at my 10 You know what I mean? Yeah, it'd be fun Listen, I'll change up but back to this game. I'm saying do you think there's a point where you like put too much pressure on yourself with everyone there It's like possible. Are you, is there, is there points? Like are you giving Lewis points? Or 15, I have to be, I have to win by 15.

Okay. So he's a 15 point dog. But are we allowed to gain? He's not a lot of points, dude, basketball. Because it's not. Kristina, have you said anything up with three? Three, three, he's in a two. Have you set up any sports book action like with draft kings for skankfest that's wrong it's five threes the I know the sponsorship guys were working on it they are really yeah they're trying to

figure out you can start betting on stuff at skankfest like Ellosmania fights that's what yeah oh yeah because we what is it I don't know if I'm speaking out of turn right now I know we've worked with that DSDS sign the past well that was a long time ago Be awesome though. I'd love to get some action. I love to get a skankfest parlay going No, it's something with some Ellis mania fights damn. I love to play video games tonight to train You gotta call training not even I wouldn't play play only I get the last of us part one again tape it up but man maybe if I tape it up I don't know you want we can shoot yourself

what are you gonna say not about this do you mind if I lower the tip tick tock lighting yeah tick tock star lighting yes and here yeah I don't know why it's on so high I thought I lowered it when I came in as a tick tock star. That's what I got kicked out for. By low. That's what I was. And by the way, I do lower the other. Christine lower it. I do look like a guy that should be kicked out of a room for a TikTok star. A little higher. There we go. I'm surprised they didn't tell me I was bumming them out the way they kicked me out of this room. The way you're acting spubbing me out. I don't know what your whole vibe is, but it's like sad dad who lost his kids in a fire.

What was that movie with the Netflix? I know, it's like a fucking movie. Something by the seat, man. You have to give me your whole Manchester by the sea thing right now. You're Dunkin' Donuts. It's like you went home and your kids were ablaze. Your kids are charge skeletons because you had to go get cigarettes. It's because you have a drinking problem and I was like, yeah, okay, I'll leave.

But he was like, he's the last hoppin' my back back. I was like, I'm just gonna out get outta here. You look sad. Yeah. And it's kind of making me sad. Can you like go? I like go. Best case scenario, you're like, Markey, Mark, and Perfect Storm.

Like, you're about to die. I gotta give Christine credit where the credits do when she showed me a TikTok. I hate TikTok. I know. I hate talking about TikTok. You know why though? It's actually a lot more noble than you give it credit for. It's because you know it's the Chinese government manipulation of the youth of America.

Yeah. And that's the reason I won't get behind that. And Christine, you know that, you shake your head, but you know that. Christine keeps going. It's very true. Christine's so positive on TikTok because it's an addiction. Yeah.

So it's someone telling you that they have a marriage, co-cogniz. But I'm saying, she really, she talks about it and the thing like a dumb person would say, she says it's really, you learn things from it. It's really informative in the U.R., it's educational, she calls it. That you learn things from it. It's really informative in you are it's educational She calls it that's what dumb people say. It's the most educational form of social media to ever exist Totally totally and you know because I smoke American spirits my cigarettes are good for you

Notting you guys are just boomer people. You don't know what you're talking about don't use that word. That's my mother Christine China loves you Yeah, I love you China does does manipulate where it shows Chinese students, like people that are great at karate. Like people that are great at gymnastics. Karate. Karate. Whatever. We're promoting China now.

Do you understand how everything you're saying? No, no, no. Christine's learning karate through TikTok. No, I'm saying they show like young people having great achievements in China whereas they show dumb shit in America. Like the algorithms are different. Jay, I learned Tiger Style.

Algarisms. One person in this room explaining algorithms to me. I got it. I got you. Good. It's Don Chital in Space Jam. Okay. I'll accept that.

That's the only answer we have so far. Anybody want to challenge that? Thanks guys. I'll take over too. It's Don Chital. Thank you far. Anybody want to challenge that? Thanks guys, I'll take over too. It's time to go play, Jim. Thank you guys. Shout out to you, size goal. Isn't it like a computer generated

and then you're starting off by saying, isn't it like, no one knows for sure, but everyone keeps saying it. By the way, I used it and I don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm trying to see your habits. Yeah, I'll tell you what it is, man. Three letters, M-A-N, it's the man. It's the man keeping you in a box, Christine.

I don't want to take it. I don't want to take it to know my algorithm. But that's why I watch it through Katie. I use her as a human shield. That's what Christine Brings up, but she showed us something. I don't have anybody watched when she sent it on TikTok. It was really funny actually. It's a guy golfing.

Do you see that? And the two deers? It's the audio is so great on it. It's actually what's happening on the video. We'll tweet it out, I guess. But it's, there's two deer like doing stuff to each other in the background. Like, fucking? I don't want to say what because it's part of what's

the funny and the commentary. But the commentary, it's gotta be post-commentate. You saw it before, though? Yeah, it's gotta be post-commentate. But it really is good. The guy does a good job of sounding like an announcer. It's got that Tom Brennan voice. I've seen videos on TikTok and Instagram

of people doing like cuts of their day where they're like walking down a sidewalk or whatever then it's like a hot girl being like with inspirational music behind her. Today was pretty good day. I did some meal prep and then I got a lot of time went to a media and it's like people it's so fucking insane. By the way they find it in the future they're gonna be like these guys were such assholes. Yeah it is I'm sure it's sweet by the way, they find it in the future. They're gonna be like these guys were such assholes. Yeah, it is I'm sure it's sweet by the way, so I'm not taking an overall shot at what he's doing or is oh wait. Yeah, show this I'm gonna do not yeah, you got to love the focus here with the driver on 13 a deer is sucking off another deer in the background

It does not phase him It's Bob Menter. 15. Yeah, he's Bob Menter. He doing the voice. Yeah, yeah. He's hilarious. He does like sports videos. It's really fun. I mean, there's a deer sucking off another deer background

playing again. That's really funny. Yeah, you got to love the focus here with the driver on 13. A deer is sucking off another deer in the background. It does not face him. Rips that down the middle. Yeah, it does not face him. It lifts that down the middle of the back. It does not face him.

Yeah, he does that. He was on. He does that Brenner. He does the broadcastable. He's presented by Ray St. Clair Rubin. So by being the last time I put on a headset. I piss some people off in high places. Yeah, dude.

Bob Mennery was on billions. He was one of the guys that called the fight when we did the boxing match. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Bob Mentery was on billions he was one of the guys that called the fight when we did the boxing match. Oh yeah. Yeah he was cool. He's a comic cool. No he just does like internet videos in a podcast. He was the one that Antonio Brown was on his podcast when you know when Antonio Brown was going around saying crazy shit like right after he retired. I like the farting people's face. He was in trouble for farting in doctor faces. Oh I don't know but yeah he did a lot of cool shit. He just thought I

Don't send you guys tiktok's because I know how much you hate it So I saw that in tiktok and then I went and found this on YouTube and I sent this to you guys Distracted because there is right now a deer sucking off another deer on the side of the grain look at the way I do that video is crazy there is right now a deer sucking off another deer on the side of the green. Look at the red deer. Damn dude, that deer is crazy. I've never known that animals suck each other off. Can you look up, dude, deer, give head? Dude, are they?

I mean, it's right there. There, I mean his neck was bobbing on his cock. Yeah, but the whernack. His neck? Who knows? That's what you don't know if it's a mother thing. Well, if it's a gay deer, now I've got a problem with this. No, not on our golf course.

Yeah, not in my backyard, no gay deer. That one was like, I don't know. It was like sucking its dick. The first one that looked like it was maybe freaking. Yeah, I don't know. Dude, Dears give head. What if they did? Christine, take a note, please. Dude, De Dears give head. What if they did? Christine, take a note, please.

Dude Dears give head stop. I think that's gonna be the name of my autobiography. Dude Dears give head. They do the third. And you're about the author. Yeah, I'm about the author. My beard is completely gray by the end of a black turtle neck. Damn.

What do you think? You know what's funny? We're gonna, I was watching an old, always sunny last neck. Damn. What do you think? You know what's funny? We're gonna, I was watching an old, always sunny last night. Yeah. And seeing the, just not, age even in a bad way. Sure. I mean, like a Mac looks like great. Yeah.

I mean, he's in great shape and everything now. Rob McLean. Yeah. But seeing the age of them is so, I wonder what it would all, like seeing my dad always kind of take well. Not so much lately, but like when I would see him that's some so few times like sure there was one stretch between like him probably going from like, you know, I didn't see him since the time he was like 40.

Much maybe once or twice from like 40 to 55 I saw maybe like three times four times you know what I mean yeah so you saw an age so there was one when he came around we were like whoa dude that was like a big fucking gap so I'm so curious if we can't which would everyone would be if we all came back oh just we haven't seen each other for 15 years from now oh dude like a really you know go full gray beard yeah full gray full. Yeah I think it's going to be completely gray. I think I'll be completely gray in five years. What if I just completely start going shaved face. I'm like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I said. Oh no I like it. I like the feeling of

wind on my face. Yeah. I'm kind of past that now. We're polo shirts and stuff. Yeah. Jacob just a solid mustache, just a detectives mustache. Just a stash. Maybe long hair. Maybe let it go a little bit. That'd be great. But I like the stash. Lou goatee.

Luke, can you, is there any kind of a dare or prize we can give you to give your hair six months of growing out? No. The coldest sack? You wouldn't give us the coldest sack. Dude, I aged 10 years. No way. It's gonna be so funny though. To who? Everyone and everybody in the world. How human works? Not to me.

You got to sacrifice one lamb. You got to break an egg or two. Uh, you wouldn't do it when Lewis did it. Remember Lewis said he has George Jefferson hair in texture and shape Dude, that's why I fucking got science involved That's why I went and fucking got the fucking transplant. Well, do you remember when I can't believe I haven't talked about it on this show You're supposed to you were supposed to know you were holding I've been doing it as a joke Yeah, you were holding it on you were holding it for a himbo.

Yeah, but now we know that, you know, the episode aired with them already. She's come out. Yeah, I came out of the closet. I'm a little Danny here, the transplant. I was insecure and I got. In cyborg hair. Yeah, I got fucking a space to pay.

Yeah, I had science get involved. They took silly from the inside of the air. I took the back of my head and put it on the top of my head. But yeah, I was gonna talk about it on him, but I've been doing it as a joke. And I was like, why haven't I talked about it on the bonfire? It worked. It worked.

Very exciting. But you know what, I will say I felt dumb after I got it. I was like, I should have just gone. I should have just fucking gone bold. Yeah? There was a part of me that felt that. I was like probably like 70 30 But that I'd get hit with that 30 and be like I'm a pussy. I should have just I

Think it's a cool thing, but then you get it done now a lot of On stage I call it the fake tits on my head. It's like fake tits on my head You're in midlife crisis tits. Yeah, they're like my midlife crisis Oh, and I walk around with you know, I like a nice thick luscious transplant But I get it dude. I'm like fucking when they with big like fake boobs life crisis. It's walk around with. You know, I like a nice thick luscious transplant. But I get it, dude. I'm like, fuck it with big like fake boobs. Cause Katie and I were talking about it.

It's like, yeah, it's actually going ball. It's the same. You weren't going ball, but your head was growing so big that your hairs were getting further apart. I knew as I didn't want it. I didn't want to look like Sam Kassel. I was gonna look like the white Sam Kassel. That's my hair.

That's my thought about my gun. Is what? About my gun. I cellulose, I lost my hair. That's my thought about my gun. Is what? About my gun, is that like, I probably don't have sparse dick hair. It's just spread out. But if I lost that way, the hair's come together. I probably got a thick bush.

Dude, if they took half my skull off, that would have been me, but white. Should trim me down. Yeah, I would have been white tan, because that's a head. Yeah, that's what I mean. I was like, it's teeth, it's eyes. Also, I got the guy that I was going to

for the sprays that I was using. He was like, dude, we can do one thing. One thing and then you will never go bald. And I was like, let's fucking rock, dude. We're not having kids. He's like, look, you can keep coming back. But then it felt like- Bicking around.

I felt like I was talking to people about it being like, I don't know, I was like talking to people about it being like I don't know I feel kind of vain that I did that shoot just fucking taking it Shooting just taking taking the ill doesn't embarrass and at all the embarrasses for ten years before that you're using spray You're using spray hair. I know it's time that I wasn't should be in bad. No, it's not spray hair It was it's a spray. I know I know there's spray here I'm joking. Yeah, because I'm telling you a new room about you for actually last 10 years I've spray on hair. You know I have one of those things Katie's got to put it down on my head and we're in the kitchen with Krylon like it's fiber is spray yeah that you hit me with that a couple

times on billions near like like last season in the back of top that's time they have to fix your flaw for something on a show and they say they're so matter of fact. They don't go fuck. So if they were like, Oh, Jay, we want Jay to wear this thing for this thing and it's like, I did. I'm too big for that. They go, let's throw them in some spanks. Let's get me a real jerk off. I don't care. Make a look at your jerk off in front of females on the stay. Do you want to put on nude underwear over my bird that I couldn't Get even semi yeah moving to look like I had something it look like I look at a woman wearing panties while a female Production crew is like filming the thing. I'm like can we just Never not shoot from the waist down and I was act like my pants are down dude one time

Oh, I hated it the boxing episode of billions I was there's a scene where I'm sitting down right and I was sitting there in the director locked over and he goes hey Do you want to do you want to like? Or is it was the costume designer was like do you want to cover this up? And I was like what do you mean cover it up? Because I was in a tank top and it was just like you back fat. It was my tip Oh, it was my tip my gut and it just. And it was just my- Should I get back fat? It was my dick. It was my dick, my gut. And it just was like this weird lumpy thing.

And I go, oh, oh no, is that my body? You're like, oh no. And I like sat up. And the way I was sitting so I wouldn't do that, we can put you in spanks and fix this real quick. And I was like, no, that's fine. I had to do like that. I could do it.

And then like, no, we're gonna put you in. And there's a scene when they're talking to me, where you see me, I'm in spanks under because slap in my titting I'll tell you what though while you were in this bang so I bet you were flexing arms a lot the whole time really It's like my's my's my own if I own it my dude I like if you watch me see this you can almost hear me sir talking through you Yeah, but that when they were like do you want to fix that and I was like they weren't being rude What's that it felt so good to like be in it? You know what felt worse

When it was over and I had to peel off Like a fat fruit roll up in front of those ladies. I could have gone back to my trailer But I'm gonna have yeah, I haven't been able to do like, shapewear and padded bras and all that because then you just take it off and it's just like, boom. Dan, Janine Garoflo, when at the old stand used to have a really funny bit

about that about how like, she's just all spanks and perfume that she sprays down. It's really funny. She was like talking about peeling it off. I was like, that was the only time I wore it and I kinda got it because immediately I was like, that was the only time I wore it. And I kind of got it. Because immediately I was like, well, look who just lost 20 pounds. All in his tits. You jumped on Skanks list, right? For about 15 minutes. Yeah, dude. Jack young posted a picture,

you know, be kind, rewind. He posted a picture of Geneme listening. And it's like, my mom's concerned. She's great. Yeah, dude. We did put it on the show. Oh, Tosh got it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Has he not talked about it? Here's the thing. I don't think he does talk about it.

He doesn't talk about it, but first season of Tosh put it on when he looked like that, and then second season he looked like that. Joe MacKale for sure. Yeah. I saw him in the same. Pivin's the classic one. Pivin, you saw him. Oh, yeah, Pivin was bald in Judgment Night. Oh yeah, Piven was bald in judgment night.

Yeah. And PCU was like almost gone. Meccana, you know what's funny? I saw an article where one actor was like, didn't even want to admit it. Machine gun Kelly. Yeah, but they were like, oh, I took a natural herbal supplement.

And then it just, like just it. Was it? Meccana. Meccana said he, he won't, that doesn't make it worse You like just didn't meet dude just admit that like you were saying when I said I felt guilty about it You were like no, don't They could film me getting a hair transplant like live aid. I wouldn't care Happy down to do that. Yeah, send Jacob to the process as it's happening. Yeah

Gives a shit, dude you look great.'s happening. Yeah. It gives a shit. Dude, you want to get? You look great. Thanks, dude. I got my big fake tits. Tats. I got my hair tits. Big tits look awesome.

Thanks, dude. It really did make me have a little more sympathy with women with fake butts. That's so weird as well. It's the funniest thing, too. They were saying that Kim Kardashian, like, it is so, like, follows the trends of stuff too. She took all of her implants out because skinny's back in there. Did she really?

Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really?

Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? Did she really? How many surgeries do you think that took to her to for her to get flattened out? Tits on ass. Damn it. I shit. It's one day. Dude, she just comes back and she's like, oh my god. These pajama pants are falling off me. I think the retrieval process is probably pretty easy. Although they might have to like take a little skin off those tits because they're gonna be all bagged out.

Yeah, what how much? When did she do this? Did you actually done it? I think Christine told me. I didn't. Do you think that's why her and Pete broke up? What? You don't want to go on pasta just like a regular on me and girl. But you guys like. They think she has. Yeah, because she just she lost a bunch of weight. She wore Marilyn Monroe's gown that she, um, saying happy birthday, Mr. President to JFK in at the Met Gala. That was a big thing. She couldn't alter it. She had to lose like 17 pounds to fit into it, which is crazy. She's a big body. So she popped the tits out. She may have though gotten stuff reduced after that. This is like a mechanic. He goes, all right, we'll get you in there. We'll get you in there. That noise behind me goes, all right, we're gonna pop those tits out. We're gonna take a that noise behind me. We're gonna pop those tits out.

We're gonna take a look at that ass. We're gonna try to fit you in that dress. People, she seems like sh- Shut up! I'm trying to talk to Kim Kardashian! Mark! Yeah! The kids!

How much did you get tossed to feed a pop up? I can get that done. I can get that done this afternoon. Like a problem. You know what I'm doing a surgery to get to fit into a dress. I do major surgeries. It's crazy. Yeah, I major surgeries, it's crazy. Yeah, I imagine.

Yeah. She also, she seems like this big statue-esque figure, but like, she's tiny. I think she's like a five to tiny chick. So even, I feel like her big tits and ass like in person, it's like, it's on a tiny little frame. Yeah, but she's a big, though.

That is fuck turkey territory. Yeah, she's fuck turkey, for sure she is. Yeah. But now she's all skinny. Little stat that whole family what they're gonna do is they're gonna be those I mean, they're gonna keep getting work done for sure and she's gorgeous Kim Kardashian for sure But you could see in like that chest area where she's talking to James Corden there. Yeah, it's like it's getting she getting all Clavically and yeah, it's getting all sucked in I Mean yeah, look at that where she was. Look at those cans.

That's just it's funny for the to be a picture of penis or all. I mean, you know, do that picture, please screen grab that so you can show that is the most unflattering picture of Pete. They made him look like a zombie, dude. Is that real? She should talk Pete on an interview. I don't know. Since it's a brutal swipe at him. Dude, that's that that she shit talk Pete on an interview? I don't know. This is a brutal swipe at him.

Dude, that's how gossip works. They just get someone you know, and they gossip about, you know, that's not true. Here, let's hear it. I don't know. I haven't talked to a quick bait, dude. I love it. I love quick bait. I want to see what everyone from Duke's a hazard looks like now.

The whole cast? Yeah, of course, I don't mind swiping right on 75 screens to finally get to it. Oh, what you're going to lock up my whole browser? No, I do have a virus because I don't think I have a virus. I've seen this before and I haven't had a virus last time. Why did I start getting 10 more emails every hour? What happened? What have I done?

Jesus, yeah. Christine, whose side are you going to take if she goes against Pete? You know what I see with the clickbait one? I'm going Kim. The clickbait ad I always see is the, I'm forgetting her name. The girl from the born identity. You wouldn't believe where she's working now. Like she's in the supermarket. Is it for real?

Yeah, all the time. No. No, she's doing films like we all have. Yeah, and then they're always, by the way, someone you saw it not long ago always. I used to get with this is us girl. Yeah. You won't believe the massive weight loss and how it triplets you look. She's bigger than ever.

They just start taking your friends from your online profiles Where's Dan Ben Yeah, I take up yeah, all right COVID She tested it she test that dude she looks like sickly Then she looks she does look very very big. No, she is my type. She does look very very thin, but's beautiful. Yeah, she's gorgeous. Yeah, I don't know man. Do you think that over the test of time that she's going to end up being a bigger sex symbol the Maryland Monroe? She's big trash and she's famous for nothing but she's pretty for sure. I think she will be the new representative for crazy girls.

Like the way that Marilyn Monroe is like there. That's the, Marilyn Monroe poster is like a pirate ship flag for a crazy girl. Like they put it up their staff and you're like, here we go. This is, this is gonna be a lot of pink in this girl's house and it's gonna be a problem. You just seem to kind of have to die young

for everyone to say you were like the thing. Yeah, I think. The icon has to die young, I feel it. But also, I think Kim Kardashian, I think to be nicer, I think there's a chance that she's almost like the new Elizabeth Taylor. Like we're like, there's like people that love her. Yeah, just us. Just us.

It's a lot. It's a fashion Elizabeth Taylor. This is the Taylor had eight husband. Just walk in tits. I mean, that's awesome. I mean, is it? I don't know if those relationships are good. That's awesome.

Yes, did she put down eight dudes? Can you imagine? King Kardashian has a basketball team's worth of black children. Yeah, that's fun. Well, our front Michelle's had like four of them. I'm like, how do you get that many men to marry you? You're a T-Rish.

T-Rish got three. Dude. I can't wait until PSA explain to somebody goes, well, somebody goes what is the black children of my ex-girlfriend is initials I jump a listen to calls drop out this guy that's his kids It's order. I don't think she's gonna be remembered at all like not not too much I'm not now do she know if you have a 20 year career of something dude, you're remembered. She's been mega famous. People remember B Arthur for yes, but she's Golden girl stands the test of time You're you're fighting a battle against someone who's agreeing with you. I said people remember B Arthur. Yeah, my point is gone for a long time

And everything but they have documents like Marilyn Monroe has documents you can you remember you can watch a film and say she was famous for this. They've had a show filming. I'm gonna go back in 20 years and watch her older. But no one goes back to Marilyn Monroe for movies. It's always the iconic pictures, the playboy pictures, stuff like that. Like there's seasons of a show. Like seasons and seasons and seasons.

Do you have a favorite episode of Kardashians? We're gonna be like season 15 episodes 22 Bruce Jenner become Caitlin Jenner and you had no idea that was even gonna be a part of the storyline Right, but I tell you I tell you what though and this will I don't think reality TV Has any back words watch value on many things? I shouldn't say that as I'm saying that I'm like I'm watching 60 days in now But I'm tearing through that. That's also a violent Like social experiment. It's not just like oh like I'm so upset my famous boyfriend's doing something like I'm gonna go drive the Bentley and piss and moan to his sister. Yeah, it's also doing great

because hi, I was just finishing having the chef make dinner for me in Travis. I was just eating some some salad out of a bowl. That's all right. They're always in the run with salad. Yeah, they're always just like walking in salad being like, that sounds crazy. Is this the neat, different watcha show? Kyle Dunnigan has done the perfect impression of it on,

but the only time I've ever seen it, they're always eating salad. Yeah, and it's become increasingly more just like, they're so rich. So my point is being like, the back watch value is very low. I don't go, I love Bad Girls Club. It's all on P-Cock now.

I don't go back to watch the seasons before I got into it. I'm like, you don't watch it like I watch wrestling. If something happened, but if something, because if something happened that crazy in Bad Girls Club seasons, I didn't watch, I watched the other season so much, it would have come Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It would have been like, Oh, that one girl got stabbed by another girl. So I don't have to go back and watch more bitching and moaning. Like I could I'd rather watch the new

love after lock up than that. Yeah, you'd rather watch DeAndre just Deandre is fucked up, dude. He is fucking up his new thing already. He's a fucking weiner. And the one guy the best thing is this guy, the new one of the guy who got the hair transplant, where you see a scar big. Oh, hell yeah, welcome. I'm in the club with him, dude. He's with the girl who was just with him,

when she was in jail. She has no interest in him at all right now. Damn it, man. He's found her. He's been gonna leave me and I'm be dating jail ladies. But he looked her up online to go. Someone gave him an anonymous tips. So he looks up his girlfriend now or his wife actually.

They got married immediately. His wife has escorting ads up and pictures of her in like underwear and everything and she goes, she'll suck for whatever half hour for a hundred and some dollars and he's like, you could spend the night with her for a hundred and eighty dollars and he just gets like pouty faced. And when he goes and talks to her about it, she goes, okay, listen, my friend is on one of those sites and she, they canceled her account,

like they've flagged her account. So she asked me if I would post an ad for, and I was like, with your pictures, and she was like, oh, excuse me, she goes, I didn't even think that far ahead in this lie. Why would it be me spreading my ass cheeks? The thing about love after lockups, the same thing about 90 day fiance, where it's all just like really dumb people taking a shot down field at love.

They're all so like, it's all Hail Mary's. All those are just love Hail Mary's shows. Well, Lou, you're caught up, right? Yes, you were just talking about Chaz and Bran Winn. Chaz and Bran for sure, but here's the thing about that. Those names. Here's what the problem having with the show right now. Chaz, see, I'm still gonna watch it

because these people are real and they're just such a great slice of life to watch. However, and Lou, back to some, I had a problem last week. They show Deontay shows up at the moment. He's looking through the window while Lindsay is working with the guy who likes her. It's the guy she's staying with, like she's paroled to his place or whatever.

Yeah. And Deontay hates that, but she's like, I used to work for, he used to work for me and like we're just friends and he's giving me a job. And while they're on break from this job, he leans in, you see them both, close eyes and turn head and cock fate and it goes to commercial coming up. And later when Deonte walks up, he literally grabs, he goes, but I wouldn't get in the

way if you're happiness and if you're happy with this guy and just kisses her on the forehead. It was not like they, but they definitely shot them to going in for a make out. Yeah. And then they didn't make out. It was because it wasn't like he last minute, even dipped and said, now, Kister on the head, we shouldn't do this. It was a different thing. They were showing them getting ready to make out.

And then when it came back, they show them just kissing on the forehead. It's like, oh, so this is like producers like editing trick. Yeah, it sucks. It's like weird. Like, you know, I don't think you have to force these people in the situation. It's happening. Yeah. They have to go off to rehab.

Someone's gone in the middle of the night, it's happening. Yeah. They have to go off the rehab, someone's gone in the middle of the night because they found meth. There's filming people coming out of jail and they're like the first guy that pitched that. I hate massaged reality that when you find out. But then it's all manipulated and... I don't really watch even the cheaters anymore. It's just like you see it all and they're like,

oh man. So like... Yeah, well I would two mussely guys who definitely, they're. So like, well, I would two mussely guys, who definitely, they're not like mussely guys, like pretty boy mussely guys, these are like fucking angry dudes. And when they fight, they just both bear hug each other and like spin around in circles, my guys. You're not gonna throw a punch.

We just walked in on your girlfriend, dress like a clown blowing him. Yeah, yeah, when you find out like all that stuff, I used to love blind date, and then I remember people who went on it. Yeah. When you know people go on, it's the funny. What Al Jackson went on it, and he was like,

it's produced like a motherfucker, and then I couldn't watch it the same way. Well, Rocco, when he went with the girl, and while she was doing it to the hustler store, Rocco Stowe, you know Brian, Brian Stowe, right? He was a comic from Philly Goofy person out he dude so ridiculous

Yeah, and he went on the show he went to the hustler so he's a good looking guy Great, he's the one that Derosa has the story about being naked and he's like making his sauce Yeah, I was there for you guys Joe you got to start a gravy with his fucking bikini underwear boner and Joe's butt a gravy with his fucking bikini underwear boner and Joe's butt. Joe come on, no, because he's reach for a mind-joke, he goes, nigga, star a Joe, you gotta get in there. Just like, ah. He had a picture of himself in his phone of him like holding a towel low, like in the middle of his shaft and doing this, his head on his head.

His head up on his forehead. Yeah, he just had that in his phone. You see his dick hair and half shaft. It was a wild picture, but Rocco, I'm trying to remember what the point of that was. his hand up on his forehead. Yeah, he just had that in his phone. You see his dick hair and half shaft. It was a wild picture, but Rocco, turned him with the point of that was. Oh, you were saying, oh, he went on blind date. Oh, yeah, and he went to the hustler store

with his chicken. She was pretty. And she goes, maybe I'll try on something that's lingerie for you. And why she goes into the trial lingerie, he just starts hitting on the girl who works there. Yeah. You're cute.

You better look in the she is, I think. Was that real or was that produced? It's like he was doing it to be, it was produced in a sense that they're like, you don't have to take this seriously. Be ridiculous. Yeah. They don't care if you're having a good time on the date. It's just like, they're like, yeah, if this is going to be a thing where it's like, oh,

they're like, this guy's goofy, so they just lead him to be goofy and like, do his thing. What was the world? He called the girl disgusting for saying he, he was like, do you hook up a lot? She was like, no, not a lot really. He goes, why? He goes, I bet you hook up a lot, though, and he goes, no, you're disgusting. What was the one where they're on the ship together? Shipmates? That was my favorite one because that one girl is a reality star. I don't

know if you call that. She jumps from reality show to reality show, rain or something like that. She was on rock-a-love and she was on shipmates with a guy with three of his and she, I think they just stopped her. She grabbed a knife or something or threatened to hurt somebody and she's been on multiple reality shows and she is absolutely batshit and has done porn, I believe yeah That's like an eventual book where she just talks about the circuit The circuit of dating shows She goes and then I'm on blind date now

If you've heard what Christine I've worked with Robert Lodge before I've worked with old Lodge head before Look up girls and rock-a-love end shipmates. I bet you'll find it's a grain or something like that But she was when you see her on a show though. I'd get excited. I'd see her I'd be oh shit. Yeah, she's gonna fuck up She fucks up. I mean there's girls who's legacy in the world like there But the flavor of love like gets released on Amazon Prime or something I mean that girl who shit herself the first day is gotta be like Can't this just go away? You just got to lean into it. And the girl in Rockalov, remember that famous like, don't threaten me, you guys.

I'm telling you, we're in the age now, where if you just fuck up, make a t-shirt out of it. And then people will be like, all right, you get it. That's like learning your lesson is selling merch. You're like, I have a shit, don't shit on the first date, shirt. Yeah, you just have your merch machine. Yeah, I have a smear campaign. It on the first date, sure. Yeah, you just have your merch machine. Yeah, I have a smear campaign.

It's just about the shit from the, from the, it all smeared on against the wall. Oh, wait, we never watched this. Yeah, what does she say about Pete? We gotta find out what Kim says about Pete. The sickly woman. I cannot begin to imagine how Kim Kardashian looks for a partner. How do you find, it's not that you're gonna bump into someone

in Ralph's, you know? How do you do it? Do you, do you get set up by friends? Do you go on a dating app? How does, how does Kim Kay get a date? I haven't really thought about it because I just, I'm not looking. I just want to chill for a minute. I think I need some time to myself and to focus, finish school, all that. But I think my next route will, I feel like I have to do something, like go to different places. Clearly it's not working, whatever I'm doing. This tracking script won't be a problem.

That was your Adderwite, that was a barnwork. Is that the end of the video? Wow, I really want to fight everyone that posted that video. Hey, well here it says it again. It does a brutal swipe. swipe didn't take a brutal swipe She's what was it? Oh, she just says that the men she's been going for have clearly not working. Oh

Clearly not working out. Yeah, just hurry up climate change dude Kanye West though. Kid Tyson. Can you feel any? Hurry up climate change dude Kanye West though. Kit's eyes. I mean can you feel any? Can you see any of yourself in the idea of Kanye West fucked up so much during Pete and Kim's relationship? Show me a last look stupid look we got into the meme game, but when you see him interviewed now Yeah, doesn't a party go. It's like I feel his feel just like that's over. Yeah, he's so happy She's not with Pete anymore was so public and he just felt so chumped by this like tall awkward like kid. Yeah, dude. It's a classic So he got Kanye got Kanye got poolboard. Did you see how friendly he looked when he did you see they asked him? The pool boy just came and fucking live with your shit K. L.A.L.N. Just like his just like his character on SNL. He just came in. It was just like yeah, I don't care

I'll go apply on back to a guy. I'll fuck you for a few weeks That's just thing that's crazy. You scream loud when you fuck Said are you a wall soundproof? And then you're just calling it and they're just listening to beeps and boobs They just constantly in the studio like bam bam bam boom play with the drums, you know I was making a beat It just catches them just in the random moment where he's like He's a bum bum bum. Yeah, it just catches him just in the random moment where he's like

Bum bum bum bum. I am God No, it's the sweetness of him. Did you see him interviewed was it good morning America or something? He ever said sway does have all the way has the answers that we say goes I guess Sway does and he kind of like boyishly kind of. And you're like, oh, it looks coherent and everything. He was going to be a random guy. And he really didn't like that this 20-something year-old was porkin' his kids mom. He even went out his way to be like, I love comedy. I love Anthony Jesselnick.

And that he was like, but he ain't funny. He was one of his favorite comics, like he named his favorite comics and put me. Yeah, he's a hell for me. Which is so funny because he doesn't understand He was one of his favorite comics like he named his hair comics and put me Which is so funny because he doesn't understand that he's got he's been getting celebrity laughs for fucking 15 years when I come into a room everyone stay laughing. Yeah, I go. I call this and so I got this joke where I call Friday Friday Losers He did a whole big ABC interview. I want to watch it actually by thing. It's like just get in dig in Yeah, just dig in and crawl around it

Yeah, maybe you won't maybe you won't I said that I was gonna do the Tucker Carlson kid rock interview I'd never watched it once. Yeah, there's just Tucker going in for a kiss the whole time You guys wait what are you doing? Hey, man. Hey, what's up with that? Hey, all right. No, I was just here to talk about oh You know rock and roll Yeah, what are you doing? I don't know We sang a song about build that wall Yo, yo, hey Yeah, the Kanye one he just looks like someone

um, I think it was Chris Allen the comic Chris Allen uh, you see see yeah tweeted out Kanye was dressed like an insurrectionist Dude, it looks so perfect. Yeah, I want to give him credit because I think it was Chris Allen Tactical yeah, man, but he looks so sweet. It was like the first time he didn't seem like crazy Jacob, who do you think the next woman Pete's gonna fuck to break your heart's gonna be? Okay, we need you know, we need you think the next woman Pete's gonna fuck to break your heart's gonna be? Okay, you know what we need? He needs the track Pete, like a storm. We're like Santa. Yeah, maybe he was a Santa app.

But more like, yeah, you just gotta have a million. No, he's hovering over the CW studios. Or like a, yeah, dude, if Pete goes loose in the CW lot, you're so upset. He's gonna shish kabob three of those girls. That would be a big picker. I would be missing. I got sucked off in a closet, a party of day.

You guys are out of fan key jensen. You guys have a done a Justice League or a party. Dude, Gal Gadot was like first day to anal stuff. Dude, that's pretty crazy. I was in a mall, I was in a DC movie so they gave me access to the lot. Okay. They let me go.

They said dog well hung. It's a turn loose. We got to something with all these flash acters didn't get any money. Oh, we got a fuck. Jacob, did you see the CW trailer for Supergirl where the poster they made? I think I saved it. A couple people tagged us in it. It was Superman on the CW and it was like a... Superman, I think I see Superman is coming. Superman is coming in Supergirl. Like the way they phrased it. He's coming in Supergirl?

Yeah, hold on, I'm gonna try to find it. It is, I saw a trailer for TBS, I guess, is showing Titans now. You know how they're a season. But how can they do that? If they're like rated, like dark and violent, right? I don't know, it's not so bad. But they do curse? If it was rated, it's like dark and violent, right? I don't know. It's not so bad.

But they do curse, maybe they show it late, and maybe they probably edit it. Oh, maybe. But it looks like, it's the final season's coming. It looked like the trailer for that looked awesome. Yeah. Is that, Superman is coming in Supergirl? I don't know if it's edited or not.

I can't imagine somebody. You can't let that by, dude. Oh, isn't that like that guy bin seat Yeah, this is an old ad that's why I don't know. Oh It's like a really oh yeah cuz he's the one Bitchy kids right that's the one. Yeah kids What do you gotta be Superman on my soccer game guy? I want you to understand me as my dad not as the world strongest person

Why can't you just be my dad and not be as alien that's here to protect us? I'm not faster than speeding bull okay. I have to train. Yeah Maybe yeah, I know you didn't know your parents I'm like I do know you so why aren't you around more? I don't want to hear what pop-up Jurelle would have said again. Yeah, I get it your dad died because of a tornado Your earth dad on Krypton kids used to not talk bad to put shut up Krypton we used to walk to school both ways shot You're a baby when they launched you

God, how I don't know who I was like? I'm your dad, you call me dad. Whatever, Calile. Hey, Calile. Yeah, you're dead. It's dad. I swear to God, Lois, I'm going to put my hand right through his fucking head. You can call me Clark or dad. He goes, I'm not calling you Clark dad.

Dude, what if he came to school and was like, my dad hits me and they're like, oh, Clark can't, we never hit his kids and he goes picks up a shirt as this laser eye marks on his torso and they go Fuck your dad's Superman and we got to stop child protective services going to the Superman's Super yes is like now Superman I don't want to say what have you guys? I promise you you good citizens. I didn't hurt my own children He goes what happened to your toes my dad's super breath them to they turn black and fell off He goes your father's super breath

I'll also you mentioned hanging that over the head of like you know how kids will do that It's like I'll call the CPS and say you hit me. Yeah, do I mean like what because I'll expose you Because go to school today goes might tell a few friends that you're Superman Clark Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't say shit like that. Hey sit down get back here. Why did you say that? He goes I don't know. No, no, I just have a slip up. Maybe you can fly to Japan and get me a PS5 And then then Derek and next next meet homes doesn't have to know that you're super my dad's superman You know Derek is dad works for the newspaper For the small will be

Someone knows that's what I'm saying a teenager How you holding that in as a teenager they go for my dad my dad would fucking kick your dad's ass I see your tits if I if I tell you my dad's Superman They want to see you want to see my dad's indestructible cape. You want if I wear the cape, can I finger you? Oh, dude, I totally would have fallen for that too when I was young. She goes, can I like, yeah, let's go make out like up in the fortress of solitude or whatever. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, I know the code. You should give me that piece of script tonight. Yeah, I guess okay I mean it is my father's one thing, but it's the one thing that could take down our whole way I guess I guess you could hold it for a night. I promise to give it back though, and then she goes oh But I let Jessica hold it now just go through. That's gonna be a big trouble for my family. Oh, no. Just good. He goes, Jessica Lutherbarr goes, no, no.

Is that out of jail? Yeah, he's like been out. He's got a wacky drawings in his house. It's a big idea. He goes, no, no, no, you're going to get that back for me. There's something apartment complex by the 15 and you go, you give it. She said she lost it. Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, you guys would want to tell the secret to get late, like a normal kid. These whiny pussy's want to say how it sucks to be Superman's dead. And they have powers, you said.

One of them does. Which one, the boy? They're both boy. They're two boys. One of them has powers. One of them has seven powers. So you find out you got the powers guess who gets the big room Also though the key doesn't powers. He spends his whole life rationalizing goes actually like

There's so many people out there who like want like they want something from you But like I'm just like I'm fine for me. No, I don't care. I'd rather not my super car is riding just like that's fine for me. No, I don't care. I'd rather not. My super car is riding. Yeah. Because where's your dad and brother goes flying around the earth turning time backwards?

Why? Why aren't you with him? He goes, it's not even my thing really. I'm more of like an in-house guy. I respect gravity. I'm like those two. I'm a film student. I'm like those two.

I respect gravity. I'm like those two oscillals. Yeah, I think the yellow sun is for, you know, for the plants and for the animals, but you know, these two guys apparently use it to heat vision people in half and look at tits through walls. I guess they're Barry bonds fans too. Yeah, do you find out your dad and brother are just fucking staring at chicks through locker room walls? Oh, decryp creepiness that you find out about your dad. You know, like people discover their dads, like what, newty mags or watching porn.

You find out, you just find out why you moved next to a fucking orange theory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can say, oh my god, that Pilates class lines up with dads outdoor work. Hey, leave me alone, out here. door work. Hey, leave me alone out here. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on Sirius XM. you