The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sex Clubs (feat. Steve Byrne)

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

Our friend Steve Byrne has sex club experience but not Sex Island.

I'm Big J. Okerson and I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to full 2 hour long episodes of the Bonfire? 2 hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to seriesexm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Welcome back to the Bonfire, series XM, Faction Talk, 1-0-3. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Okreson and our buddies joining us.

Steve Bern, on tour with dates coming up, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Brand and Houston. SteveBernLive.com, but most importantly, the last late night. Yes, hi, how are you? How are you doing? Good good specials out. No, it comes out Friday. Oh, yeah, it's late night. Yeah December 2nd December 2nd fucking excited about this one. Yeah This is the one guys. This is it. This is it. I do this. It's all so all in you know what we are We're really are shitty bank robbers every special like this is it the last job. It sets everything else up. Yeah, I can go away to that ranch

I mean I wasted a lot of money on mine. No way here. No Now we never love it. It's the whole point. I know that's why because it's always a heist that goes wrong Steve we were talking before you got here about, uh, I said, swingers in my audience this weekend, like a couple, a lot of pineapples. But they weren't a couple. Yeah, upside down, pineapples. Yeah. They weren't a couple. They were fucking that night, but they are significant others were soft doing their own things. Um, so they were like a swinger. And they said they were going to a sex club afterwards. Yeah

Have you ever been invited to a place that were going to a place like that like a swingers club? I've been invited and I went yeah, where was it was it in Los Angeles? It was here in New York City. Okay, cuz I was gonna say big city Probably pretty cool I've been I've went to two with my ex-wife. Yeah pure Spectating purposes right With no other intention, but also like and I found them both times to be like relatively humorous more than anything else Oh 100% it's like you read the detail of the episode of real sex

H.B. Real sex and you see the people like ah fuck I don't like it this you know it's so funny It's that just struck a chord with me because I was right at jerk off Age with real sex was coming out and I was like I'm ready for some hot dance. What are these old people doing at this We're gonna look at old balls Flashes old balls for five minutes. Oh for sure. I sure it's a lot of looking at old ball But was that what it was like you went so I I'm you guys might appreciate this because I'm with a bunch of people We know I'm with my girlfriend at the time who's now my wife. We just started dating. It's like a first time in

New York City. We finished just set at the seller. Marina Franklin and Dove David off. We're all together and Dove's like, what y'all come with me? I know a special little place we can go to and they start we getting the cab and he's telling us it's a sex club. And now I'm like, oh my god this is going to be fucking hilarious. And my wife's super nervous. She's from Minnesota. She's like, is this what you and your friends do? I'm like, no, it's what Dove does. Dove does this every New Yorker. Is this what they eat pizza and they watch each other? Fuck.

This place is flawless. Get a dirty water, get a dirty water dog. Watch a couple of. You go to the state of livid Statue of Liberty you go to a ranges game and then you watch you chicken bang down by a guy from Bronx Vinnie Frankie I take the D train over the Saints and Sinners Give it a saw sorry gravy

Look at that you look at that for sure Come came right on a back Sorry gravy. And look at that. You're gonna find sure. Look at that. Come came right on a back. Yeah. So you guys, what's your man? Manhattan, it was like in the 20s and we walk in and we hear people banging. Really?

Oh wow. Okay, this is like really a sex club. Did you think the banging was real or did you think it was like ambi? No, it was real. It was real or did you think it was like on beyond the crowd noise in Seattle and it's happening everywhere

they did be a lot of the uh... on the on music so i can sign you up for the uh... exclusive I could sign you up for the exclusive It's a go on and house flickering lights Trying to keep fusion keep the off balance Why are these lights off? Is that a guy wearing a jacket? Spray the pheromones

Under the door It's like comedy shows that they keep cold to you laugh better. It's like mist-comps Like one of his 4d movie theaters the fucking floor moves like a fun house I went out guys. I'll meet you at Gangbang Co. You're gonna have some mirrors. Oh no not the tunnel of co. You walk in the house of mirrors, it's all jerk and off you like, where are you getting in there?

Keep hitting them in their mirrors breaking. It's like enter the drag. And then there's double drag and you can couple of mirrors behind you. God they're multiplying. What the fuck? Is this what it is? So you go in, it's in the 20s get to the drag and then there's double dragon and there's like a bar so does like cocktail. I'm like dude, where the fuck are we? So I'm getting a drink and we get a drink. We walk in this room and there's a dude banging a girl on a bed. He's standing up. She's on the

bed. He's just drilling her and her glasses fell off. She was wearing glasses and her glasses fell off. Marina Franklin went over and picked them up and went over and put them back on her head. Oh, so funny. Someone moving while you're trying to put glasses on and she's like, like this, she does. Thanks. What if she like this. She goes What if she was racist? She goes oh Dude, actually don't touch my glasses. Whoa

Good not to see that she's getting fucked being racist. She goes, hey woman try to Get police officer hang on let me face forward this guy can't hear me unless he's facing forward that woman a costume Hold my waist hold my fucking waist She know how does she know to get in here. It's like need a hearty and places membership It's like need a hearty and boogie nights where she goes don't stop stuff Yeah, do that's so that's, by the way, that is so, who Marina Franklin is, she's so sweet. So nice. Here's your class is.

Yeah. Here honey. You need these, you're gonna need these when the com shot happens. How do I why I had the same face watching that all go down as she did when we went to the 9-11 memorial. Oh man. So what?

This is in person, this is something. I think the first time I ever watched it just watched other people fuck out right was that sex show they did in Amsterdam and I went there and as soon as it started it was all funny giggles and laughs with all the roads was with me and the marina was with me also. It was all giggles and then and then when a guy just puts dick in the word starts like like everyone's just kind of like I'm telling you I'm telling you I don't know how long they do this for you start asking questions quietly you don't want to look at the thing directly you're like

it's like a 45 minute Did you go fast? Is it a double car? Is it a snake or you guys want some popcorn? It's the same feeling it's watching I'm like oh my god, concessions right away It's the same feeling as watching. I'm like, oh my god, that concession's right anyway. It's the same feeling as watching violence

in person for the first time. An actual fight where you go, oh my god. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, the sounds dude, hearing this, my buddy, my buddy was dating this girl recently and he just broke over there. They're like two weeks into dating and she goes, she goes, I got a hard rule, no porn.

If you're dating me, no porn. You can't watch porn. I don't care. I won't tolerate it. My last relationship was ruined because of it. And I'm just setting the press and I'm being honest. I don't want any porn. He's like, okay, yeah, no porn, no porn.

Yeah, it's cool. No problem. Like a week later, they're in the car together. Porn. And they're going somewhere else. And she goes, can I borrow your phone to put in where we're going to the address and he's like, of course, jup, oh son.

Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. And there's just like a girl with two dogs and just you, the noise, gah, gah, gah, gah. So now anytime I see him, that's all I, for sure. And then today he sent me the thing of like, Yeah, get get get so now anytime I see him that's all I And then today he sent me the thing of like the Miami Dolphins coach last week That's my clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock clock yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah same thing It was just so fun. Yeah, yeah, I saw that clip I grew up with Mike McDaniel. It's one of my really childhood best friends

The eighth grader who's coaching a football team. Yeah, I mean we were best friends in eighth grade And he looked exactly the same my god. It's unbelievable then when you say I had a tough childhood Hard Dan grew up Dan was a logger when it was three years old. I was found in a basket Rapt in flannel It's like a maple syrup emotional scar. Yeah, but he you know like on throughout this show We've watched him go from being Wide receiver coach in Atlanta the San Francisco to now head coach of the Dolphins. Well, did that girl break up with him after she saw the porn immediately No, she gave him another oh grace

Another chance to lie another chance to lie That's right. Yeah strike you know what you know I'm gonna give you one chance to put your fucking like put a code on your phone honestly the more penis is the less in trouble you are there's three of them so you're okay I saw three penis is one girl so technically that's hilarious it would be like where to be on he just goes Well you got oh, baby. Is that what you mean by porn? Oh, I thought you meant making porn with other people because I haven't done that Yeah, I've been with you. I've been a good boy. How long were they together? There was no pretty new relationship Yeah, she called it right away

That's hilarious. Good. Didn't you just get caught with a Bluetooth connection? Yeah, I have a bit about it. Yeah. Yeah. During the pandemic, watch porn on my phone. About my girlfriend, a waterproof Bluetooth speaker for Christmas before the pandemic. And then during the pandemic, like six weeks in, she was taking a shower and I watched porn. Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, her hair like this the way women do. The talent she does, don't. Don't. And I was like, you know actually what happened to us. And she was like, don't. I don't even want to fucking hear it.

And then like four weeks later, she just walked out the living room. And she was like, yeah, you got to do that as a bit. Oh, wow. Like four weeks later, she was like, that story. So she's like, I'm far away from it now that it's funny. Wait, she was actually upset for a while Well, she was like come on, dude It was fresh our relationship wasn't even a year old. She's like just come in the shower and bang me

She's like you're watching porn we're locked together. This is fun. I think I should take a shower He just immediately got to check off It was actually It didn't strike me as nuts. It's not it wasn't done it. Yeah, it wasn't nuts. It was just like the relationship is still so new that I think it was like, she thought what did your wife give a shit if you watch porn? She doesn't keep by the way, I don't think she cares about porn, but in general, I'm saying you're like right there at that moment. No, I get, I'm saying I don't think she's like comes down to you for watching porn.

No. I remember it was hilarious that the girl I've known in my life who maybe was the biggest like, fuck everybody person I know was also like the most like religious part you know, I mean yeah like that And like also was like Like didn't want anybody watching but she did a couple people I know like no watching porn. She's religious No, I don't think I think it was just like just always trying to find herself in some way And one of those religious and not into porn

They just did that but literally fucked everyone that Hulu documentary about the fall wells, you know They're like oh, yeah, we're there like that Yeah, and then he's just got the pool boy fucking his wife and then like in a relationship with her when she's crying about the Holding that when he's saying that stuff and she's like why won't't you enter Michael's? He's like, I'm in college class. You're an old lady. Hey lady. He's telling the story. He was like, when she was like,

remember when we made love here and she's like, going to our kids room, like, remember when we made love on this race car bed. And now we never will again. Remember you came all inside. My daughter's jewelry boxes. And we told her, she's taking on a tour of where they fucked in her house and crying, like, why won't you come back to me?

It's so hot. And we lied and told them it was Nickelodeon's GAC. But really it was you, it was your butt-homing new, they knew, it smelled like salt. Yeah, that, if you're watching that documentary, if your parents break up because of a thing like that and you get old enough and you watch a documentary and there's that scenery where your mom's like,

do you remember when we fucked into your room? Yeah, I'm swinging I'm swinging at Christmas. I'm walking in the door swinging of the fall well kids might have a complaint Yeah, fall well kids are gonna have big mom. What? Uh, you fucked in our room. She's like That's not very cool. I'm a naughty little minks Well, you know it's crazy is that? Well, you know what's crazy is that? Because your luck is not that.

Did you watch that in all the documentary? I did. I saw the trailer, but I'm like. But that's the thing. Yeah, it's like she's such a proper wife of a... But then what's funny is it's always when you know, you'll see that in that case, the Anthony documentary too. Like when you hear like an accusation of something, it kind of like flushes out a little bit differently

when you hear it. And we're something, it kind of like flushes out a little bit differently when you hear it. And we're just talking about this. Paul. You have the Paul Welles thing, when he has on stage a lot, the wife he does a whole lot of like, it may be the sexiest damn wife any man's ever seen in this part of the Bible belt or something like that.

This guy gave me my own even he is. Yeah, he really goes and she's looking just fine in the eyes. He's not fellas. Like, oh, any gentleman that loves the Lord want to take a shot, I'm blind. Are they still together? No. Are they not?

Did they break up? Christine, check the marital status of Jerry Falwell Jr. Thank you. Yeah, dude, it's a, it's always all the videos in here. All the people that are like super religious and shit And they're like my favorite ones always the preachers that are like homosexuality is the devil

Oh, yeah, and then they're just going to explain all of this circus ceiling But that's what they do it you all everything you got caught He just tries to explain it. He goes, oh, we were laughing, and I was taking a picture with that 18 year old girl with both of our pants run button. Like, that's funny. He just left it on that. He goes, come on, you guys don't get humor.

You guys want me canceled. You're one of those things. He's one of those people. He's one of those people. You see me, you see me, pants less than 18 year old. Enough of that. No, it doesn't say, huh? No, it doesn't say if they're married or not. You mean those people you see me pants less than 18 year old enough of that No, it doesn't say if they're married or not so when you look at their marriage It says the baby Mary in 87 and it doesn't say anything about divorce. They just put out this came out

I Guess earlier this year January 25th 2022. I'm partly to blame. That's great. Okay. This may have been a little me You know what I can't see what the man. You know what? I can't feel like I'm not hired a hot dude. Yeah. Clean our pool. It's such a rich stereotype, you know. Yeah. It's kind of cool boy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is it? Why was it dating hard? It's not a pool boy. Fuck the corporate comedian. It came in entertained every day.

Dan nine. Fuck Dan nine. Yeah, that goes. But it's not Steve at Hofstetter destroys man's wife. Steve in Hofstetter. Oh, glitter rates man. This is just a wife, huh? Where is she? She's talking. He was in a pool boy in the sense you're thinking like cleaning their household pool

and she fucked him. He was like one of the waiters at like the country club. He was a former Miami pool attendant. Yeah. Oh, okay. But it's just like a thing. Yeah. He just like wasn't there pool boy. He was just a pool boy. He was a pool boy. And then they one time did like the, Hey, can you help us get something to our room and then he fucked her and then she started having to come over and stuff. But it wasn't like they're in house like pool boy. Right. That's the first. Yeah, one point he came to me was like, hey, I have a girlfriend now,

so I really can't come over for these weird your husband watches me pound you sessions. And. Is that what was happened? Like they were, they weren't doing it covertly. Like he was watching. He'd watch or he would like watch later. It's so great.

And again, I don't give a shit about that, except for the fact that he's like, you know, he's like mad at all, he has a conversion camps and shit, you know, I mean, right, right. I thought he's in this article. It says that he was put under pressure to become somebody he wasn't. Well, his dad, his dad was that guy for sure. He's still a conversion camp type dude. Like he doesn't know.

Oh, no, no. I don't know if he does. I'm saying he just fought exactly. He said he had to be something he wasn't to be like his dad. Yeah, the guy seems like a party dude Yeah, Liberty University's like a religious universe, but be a party dude, and oh, yeah, you know his father was like His father was the one that like this father's one like fought. He's like no, I'm bush Yes, but he's supposed but he's w He's w

Exactly, but he but he agreed to do it, you know, I mean He agreed to do it. You know, I mean, he agreed to do it. W really does. I love W. I think I know where we've like now that we've gone through Trump and we're like, dude, W is just a former drunk. He's like, man, dick Chinese, a fucking piece of shit. He's like, I watch that movie. He's fucking great. Christian Bale. Just like like just like to get W's review of fucking Chaney. But did you see W that movie that Oliver Stone yeah with Josh Broin I was like I want a party with this guy. Yeah, I don't know he likes baseball.

He can throw a heater to the owner Rangers and tank them to a case. I do. Yeah, I feel like warm and fuzzy when I see W Bush. Yeah, in a way where I'm like, Oh, that was like a better time. Yeah, you're a Republican, him or fucking zombie John Kerry, ground curry or reporting for duty. And Debbie's like, we're stuck.

We're kind of fucked in the Middle East. I loved it, dude. I remember 04. I was such a dumb young kid. I was like, Bush is more. Then you just realized they all are Remember army army hammer. Oh, yeah, the army hammer. Don't you see that on yeah That's great incredible, but that guy's father has like the same thing words like you don't the grandfather die No, but do you remember army hammers?

Dad was like a hippie-dippy. Yeah, like free and then when the dad like I'm gonna die now. He was like yeah, he's like I'm gonna die or he was dying. He was like a hippie-dippy. Yeah. And then when the dad became the house, he was like, I'm gonna die. No, he was like, yeah, he's like, I'm gonna die or he was dying. He was like, cut off your hippie hair and now you're like a weird sex deviant rich person. He just went right into it.

This guy, Army Hammer's dad, one of the people investigating their house found a like schematics or a blueprint for a sex chair that he has which is a throne with multiple devices on it but the main part is there's a cage under the seat and then where the seat is is a hole no no so someone can put their it's a simple uh... low job it's a simple hobo human toilet situation. If you ride the rails, you know this is a South Carolina Jones, the basic, uh, the B.S.

This is just going out house. Wow. We call this thing a Charles, the naughty chair. Yeah, the naughty, just a basic one of the naughty chairs. He's magic. Like if you're, it's one thing to have your Bluetooth right, but if you're go walk there and you're at an architect's drafting table, what are you doing? I want my asshole lick.

I also want my knob too. She comes in, she comes in. She comes in. I'm in bed with my books. I'm reading and bed and she comes in with Blueprints. I go, what are those? She goes, you tell me, I go. I was gonna surprise you. But all these families have somebody who like got a sex family all the families have somebody in them who's like

Not gonna follow the trend and then like jump spec into it Yeah, so arm army hammers dad the Michael guy is the one who was like you're not and same with Jerry fall Well, Jr It's like he's like I wasn't that guy at all. It's a good didn't so be a guy who like Goes the other way and you watch dudes fuck your wife and live your life and do your thing. You can't then go agreeingly go be speaking at all the events at this religious university.

He's telling those people with whore from sex and then inviting him to the cabin. He's fucking the girls from the university. Because he knows they're all horned up. Yeah. He goes, no fucking, you wanna have fucking fuckers? But his instinct wasn't to just say, I'm gonna not be that guy, he goes,

oh, I can do that and sort of abuse that power and fuck these religious girls now too. Yeah, have their cake and eat it too as the saying goes. But I love how like sex island, the naughty chair, is like rich people things, there's a lot of production into it. There's all this money that's ported and it's just like everything but the name. We try to send DJ Luda sex

island. Yeah we wanted to. Oh really? Yeah. Isn't like for single dudes like 50 grand or something. It's crazy. And it's all Dominican hookers. It's back again right? Sex Island. I think six islands. Oh it's real? There's three events going on. Alright well let's pull up some videos for Steve to watch. Go to the middle one. You can go to Ali Al-Watan. Yeah, do you start going to these like weird oil kingdom? Cardahena, that sounds terrifying. And Dubai.

Yeah, I'm all right. But Lou, you're going. I can't have a girlfriend now. Oh, we'll send her to. It's probably cheaper if you go with a girl. Lou, it's this week. It's December 2nd through the fifth. Perfect. That's like, yo,'s December 2nd through the fifth perfect. That's like

Yeah, she does want to get go to an island Does she know you're going to sex island wait? Do you get to watch the trailer? Let's just watch the trailer Is there a trailer good girl? Or there's a trail good. They can tie you to go. Yeah, just the name sex Island Cartagena. Yeah, oh cool. It's terrifying Cartagena Cartagena's where Joan Wilder has to go and romancing the stone. That's terrifying. Cardahena, Cardahena's where Joan Wilder has to go and romancing the stone. That's fun.

That's fun. Columbia. So you're saying we should go on relics while we're there? Full video. Go up to full video. Hahaha. We're still there.

Is this the one? The L. Oh, right, dude. Here we go. Good girls. Oh, these are very good girls. There have been no way been trafficked. Hahaha. It's just to be legal. There have been no way been trafficked

For this to be legal you have to walk with a camel through a desert for days. Oh, this is range. This is free range women That guy's from O'Neill, onto New York He's just going to sex Island. Dude. This is definitely a troll. You're gonna end up with a bag over your head in the cave Yeah, did dad's got to ransom for your dad's gonna have to sell all the Goldie bought on TV okay but but all that considered are you gonna have sex yeah that's the only thing sex Island promises you're probably with a sickly Asian lady who was you know brought over in a crate I guess gonna face piercing sex Island hello that's not that sexy I don't want this sex Island. I don't want this kind to see scary Yeah, this seems like a fact guys gonna come out wearing like a a togan cut my head off

No, I don't want this get this one off go to the other one. Yeah, the Beatles are gonna come in and Can you go to the one in Las Vegas, please? Now we're talking oh Oh, American action. Yeah. Hot American hookers. If we, they won't even give you the full video that one. They will. We can find it.

We will find it. They won't do it. I will find you. See, there's no trailer for Vegas. They can't. Oh, there it is. Deep in the island. Sex Island Las Vegas.

Las Vegas is landlocked. Why? How is this a sex island? It's already flawed. You can't have sex it is deep in the island sex island Las Vegas Las Vegas is landlocked why is it a sign on you it's already flawed you can't have sex island in Las Vegas it's in the desert why is there always somebody who's just going through a real trouble to get there yeah oh cool something I would something I wouldn't want to walk up to a pool full of aggressively slutty women I'm lost in the desert you bitches offer no help Hot-tutting out here this guy's a dork, but we brought you a sex island tank top Video'd be cooler if it wasn't skipping I know he'd be like girls. This would be great, but can I just have some water? Do you guys ever play like PlayStation? I need electrolytes. Yeah, it's gonna be fun to be a whore

Like to be one of the girls on the island. No, it's probably like a fun time. You're probably like a dog These are like being to me sick. Yeah, for real You guys I got to play some Thailand. It looks like girls look like it looks like the spillover after party from a Joe Koi show You know he's really loves his mom. And he's got like, yeah, as you're trying to kiss him. Oh, yeah. You're a kisser. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, it's crazy.

It's crazy. He's doing a rehearse now. He's been Chelsea had a real thing. No. Crazy is doing it. It's crazy is doing arenas now. He had been Chelsea had a real thing. Louis, you want to go to secret location for sex sound Vegas? It's in Henderson. There's a secret location. It's in St George, Utah. Boom. It looks like it's in Reno. Yeah.

What about now? Let's just say your balls have been drained. Let's call it 15 times. Now what? And what? Let's say you fuck 15 times in the first day or so, or you just go with nuts just playing around with all these girls. At some point, you're going to be like,

you can use no cable at any place in this at all to watch anything. Drug friendly. I don't think, I think you're going to pass out and the next day, you're just going to watch anything. Drug friendly. I don't, I don't think I think you're, you're gonna pass out and you're the next day you're just gonna get right back to it. You're Gavin something stolen. You're gonna lose a Bluetooth speaker,

you're gonna lose a phone. But in a novelty of this, I feel like with the all of them floating around, it's gonna wear off quick. You don't think so? No, I don't think so. I think that wears off second nut for me. No way.

I've said this second nut, I go like, do you feel like I gotta go home? No, I was that wears off second nut for me. No way. I've said the second nut, I go like, do you feel like I gotta go home? No, I was hypothetical world, you're not married. We're saying, do you want those girls to sleep in the bed afterwards and stuff? Yeah, I mean, that's like that old Charlie Sheenline, right? I don't pay to have sex with them.

I pay for the leave. Yeah, I think that's kind of what this is. Cubic. But when they leave, then what? Do you go horseback riding after your Bweeners all sore from banging all day It's a two-to-one ratio though. They keep it said 50 seconds How look raffer concert you see that's pretty awesome there and

Two pocket Michael Jackson That's hilarious Island has it huh we should just go like before it's too late I'm already booking the year's eve. You have to go. Don't wait until you're dead to visit heaven. Visit heaven on earth. Yeah, Christine, we lost in the desert of Vegas that a fuck island that doesn't exist.

I can maybe expense it. Is that a diamond mine in Africa? If I got that email, I'll send you money. I'll send you, yeah. I am a prince. Send me money. There's a sex island. I'll go and then you show up like you go to who you are

You go to the way that was in Kermit you're this fucking stupid. It's a fucking gun to your head She's in that comment sex island. I mean are you for real? For real that fucking commercial got you I can't believe those are first attempts. Honestly, we're gonna Where's our first pass? I don't want to let you go because I feel bad for a Bumble or I wish the little sucks all the I can send you to forever

Damn dude you really thought there was gonna Harp by the way that was 2019 in Vegas so And then I did a thing called Covey B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b This is Columbia Columbia. This should be the dangerous one. You think worse than the Middle East. I don't know if you've been watching the World Cup, but it seems like the Middle East is getting their act together. If you have guy who only watch your stuff South Africa and Cape Town, they were doing, the World Cup was coming there next. Yeah. Or were there in a couple of years and they were like saying

that they were like the areas anywhere near the airport at all, where like was the poorest areas. They were just building them, like in a rush to build them like tin foil houses or anything they could throw up and like structures just to make it look like not like people just living kind of squall or I mean you know how many people died making the stadiums in the car like the car they're like the stadiums are built on the bones of people died that like tried making it they're all haunted stadiums really so I'm saying that's why there's no Native American teams

they would bring the spirits to life, that'd be crazy. They go We're deep in 35th minute and oh another Native American ghost is on the feet Yeah, we're like a we're salty raining a skeleton pops up because oh it looks like they move the headstones But they never move the bodies. They didn't move the bodies. I repeat they never moved the bodies. Why? Why? So what is this is another one? How many islands are there? Here's the thing This is guitar island. Is that fuck? I wrote that place is beautiful. This is the guitar Stadium. Oh got it. Yeah, yeah, they're gonna make them look good in the commercial Oh, they made several stadiums.

I didn't know they didn't want to eat stadiums. Well, he said, yeah, I'm gonna do that. Imagine building hotels in Mecca, the kind of fucking business that you have to do. Can I tell you something? For people dying, you think with six thousand people dying, you're like, they must not be very good at this kind of work.

But when you see the finished product, you're like, that's a space age and a new looking as humanly. Also they built it in 117 degree heat in the summer. I was that how they died. I don't move somewhere else. Yeah. Give me. Give me a society where you can't just move. Just come to America. Our borders are open. My favorite thing, my favorite thing ever is people like rich with oil money, finally hiring PR people to make like trailers where they're like, everything is all right. In the Sultan is it cool dude.

And then when you get there, they're like, hey if you make eye contact with them, they cut off one of your nipples. You know, like, oh, it's fun. The Sultan doesn't want to come to the game today. He's pretty sad about murdering his sister this smoke. He's actually got a burned feet hang where he's just going to burn the feet of people that were caught stealing. Yeah.

We're tractable thing. What's crazy is let's take a quick break so we can come back for a little bit with Steve. Look up Olympic stadiums after the Olympics because this is what's going to happen with the World Cup and it's just like- They're all trash. It looks like I am legend. All of them are all in the hands of the band. Nothing happens. It's dead space. Yeah, that's it. Like China and so we come back and Russia. It's crazy. Yeah, we're gonna take a quick break. Steve Burn hanging out. Steveburnlive.com. Also, good check out the last late night. New special coming out Friday.

Come to Pittsburgh. Come at home. Why? I was in Pittsburgh, but he was in Pittsburgh Milwaukee New Year's yeah fuck yeah, everybody will break back. It's the bonfire Pop that pussy baby I'm popping that pussy sounds I'm gravy poppin I wouldn't you put on me so horny that has all the lines I said is that the line you wanted? Yeah, put on me so horny well first and foremost You're so much Steve burn in studio hanging out on the bonfire. He's gonna be in Houston Mill walk a on Mill Ontario. Oh man. I'm gonna burp. I get so excited

You do get Steve burn live calm and his new special the last late night coming out Friday so make sure you check it out on Friday December 2nd Steve burn hilarious friends it is different because it's a it's a late night talk show yeah that's that's that's a That's basically where's your film in it. I did in Nashville I was looking at all the different and then I walked into this theater And it's the Franklin theater. It's been around since like the 30s and it's it looks like a you know like those old jukeboxes. Yeah, that's what the stage looks like. It's this great like you know, you just have to deal with the old racist ghosts.

That's the problem that real. I think I just built this thing in 1931. There's this guy going a half Asian, half Irish comic. Chuck Mary used to have to change in the bathroom. Yeah, that's the theater. So it kind of reminded me of like a TV studio. Yeah. And this set looks like a late night talk show set. So the set we have a band that there's commercial breaks that are that are basically showing crowd work. That's fun. And yeah, it's 20 minutes of monologue jokes commercial break,

20 minutes of panel storytelling commercial break, 20 minutes of standup at the end. Who's the panel? Who do you have on? Just me. I do, okay. So I just do storytelling and then do traditional standup and then a lot of monologue, one line, or topical kind of fun jokes.

Do you like sit in one of the guest chairs to tell the storytelling? Yeah, I made sure to sit down. So I sit behind the desk, we come back from break and I was like, let's bring out a first guest and I introduce myself and I walk around, I sit down, and then just throw it all. So it's just a different way to do an hour special,

because you guys know, I mean, everybody got one, or like, pretty expensive. So I'm not doing much expensive. I'm not doing one, because you just did one at Skankfest. So now he's in the throws of production. Oh, what way did you sell finance, so you can own it all, or this is not fair. Yeah, so finance, no, no, I did it myself. Oh, what way did you sell finance so you can own it all or this is not your selling. Yeah, sell finance, no, no, I did it myself.

Oh, I did it myself, dad. Yeah, I did it's all me. I gave it all, I did it myself. But yeah, I mean, that's the way, you know, his was beautifully shot at Skankfest. And it was like a cool looking thing. It's fun seeing our friends like Ari with Jew and then this coming out. it's like really cool to see

everyone's kind of like independent takes. You don't have a, you know, we've all done specials with networks. We're there like here's the notes, here's where it's gonna go, this is what we can afford, but we make it yourself. You really have it, you're on choice. Well, this was done by Amazon Prime.

So, you know, I, some of my favorite jokes got cut out of the monologue stuff because of, you have to, like, a show. Hell. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's something. Why did he edit them? Did they hire him? They go, hey, hey, doing Steve, I'm here to personally edit you special.

Two of these jokes ain't gonna make it to A. Two damn bad. I want you to talk about trans people again. Well, there were three, three great ones that I had to lose, but I got the rough edit before they took it away. And so I have those and I'll put them up at some point. That's what you do. Put them on social media.

That's the way to go. Amazon Prime members get to see it for free. And then how much is it if you're not a prime member? No idea. $35, $15. Yeah, crazy. it's crazy. It's a crazy, 99. The guy has the hood.

The hood's black, Adam, for $10. He's got the hood split to put 99 at the end. And a free cameo. The nut sack on this guy. It's a pair on this guy. The fuck, I can't put it up there for $35. We're marrying it at Sex Island. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you got to walk through it. You just came down to the show shown the Steve Berm video. Steve Berm's late. I'll give you the money. Just make it stop. All right. It's good. I like the monologue stuff. I thought there could have been some trans jokes in there. A red carpet with the outlines of old comestings all over it. There's the white on the outside.

It looks like water-cresting. Do not mind the crunchy carpet. Crunchy carpet. Welcome to Dubai. Watercresting do not mind the do not mind the crunchy carpet Crunchy carpet. Yeah, welcome to Dubai. Are you sex island? Give me all your money in your car Is this sex island? You're like stop putting your past down. He goes sex island No, I thought we're doing Sri ala Stop it. Are you do you own the right stuff it?

Like, are you gonna be able to put out more of it or do they, they made it in their life? Sacrifice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marcia, I'm gonna taste something right now. I've cut up a bunch of HBO clips from my special in 2019. I haven't gotten flagged yet. Yeah, I haven't got flagged yet.

So who knows if these, I don't even think they care about me anymore. I call HBO, they go like, yeah, take it. I don't really forgot you even did something We're saying before you know we we talked yesterday We had Ebony mystique that porn star in here and she was like we drew her work on her seventh Instagram account and everything you have to watch now like what it depends what you're doing I'm sure you could write like I'm a sex positive person in your bio, but if you use the word,

if you like, I absolutely love sex and you're like a porn star or something like the flag. Yes, so they put like S3X, people with dollar signs for things, but I was saying that what makes me laugh now is they're learning on the, I watch the petafile hunts on YouTube all the time, and they can't say they flag words a child pornography

They they flag that and a couple other things so like they'll like but it is funny. They use like Cartoon noises to get over it goes. I know for effect in that phone. There is over 700 700 images of child Yeah, he goes look man. He goes what is the definition of a peda. Why he? He can say peda for all the kids. How about you? But I was sorry, the little kids. I think you wanted to have a 13 year old cover come over to this house and perform.

We, we said you wanted to lay out a newspaper and watch your squat Yeah, do they made they pulled my videos on Instagram of See trailers for billions that were given to me by showtime really would show time would send me emails like Hey, can you put this up on your social media for the upcoming episodes? That's licensing flag though, right? And then all of a sudden one day I'll go on Instagram, it's like this post has been removed because of licensing and it's like showtime.

And then I find out that they're like, yeah, you'd have to like protest it. And like, fuck, I won't do it. Or have it. I won't do it. He's still want to do it in the beginning anyways. But great news, I can't promote this. Yeah, oh, wonderful. Oh, but they do it by the way, like two years later. So you're like, okay, bye.

If you risk canceling your account so we can get a point eight rating on this on show time this week, yeah, I think GMO he's the one bringing people. Yeah, I don't think it's me. Even though you like to go to a farm and conduct acts of BC. Well, you know, ever since that first time I watch a hooker get I was an ex club that guy put his finger right my Different noises. Oh, okay, I know fine. We got it Steve burn on tour Steve you fucking rule anytime you're a Love you boys coming ahead, Please appreciate the last late night coming out Amazon Prime this Friday December 2nd He's on tour Milwaukee Houston Ontario Steve burn live calm go see him. He's fucking hilarious big J Austin, Texas this Thursday through Saturday

That's tomorrow through Saturday cap city and then you can catch him at the San Jose improv after that San Diego Indy and Chicago big J comedy dot com particulates Dan Stodd is gonna be it the improv Houston Tejas That was so loud That was so awesome So awesome So gassy So gassy This Thursday through Saturday. Oh gosh

The Austin did you eat corn and hot dogs? They'll be selling thumbs at his March stand. I wish to I'm on the fucking real deal. Yeah, Dan straight acid He's acid After that he's gonna be in Brooklyn Philadelphia for tickets and all Telling Tom's at his march stand. I wish to I'm on the fucking real deal. It's great acid He's acid is we after that. He's gonna be in Brooklyn fill it out for tickets and all toward dates course Go to dancoder.com all right, Lou. I know we still have a whole minute, dude. Yeah, and by the way Houston Houston by tickets That's a big ass club. Why are you freaking everybody out? This you know how they send you ticket counts how your agents assist it likes to fuck up You can I just ask him can I say publicly because I forget to keep doing it stop doing that my agent. I think I'll listen. Yeah

Please stop sitting my tiktok. I know they said I do another post from your car about yeah But they show they also go way too far out. So they'll be like Hey, I got bettos next April. There's only like 12 tickets sold in Kansas City I got bettos next April there's only like 12 tickets sold in Kansas City Vancouver of February 23 Stop I don't even know who I'm gonna be then And then there's always one wheelchair Q2 wait stay up and so sold out on him Thanks for listening don't forget that the bonfires a radio show a full show Bye, I know you. you