The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sex Cults (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Ari Shaffir triumphantly returns to dig into muscular murder and sex cults!

On Big J. Ocarson, I'm Dan Soder. You can listen to full two hour long episodes of the Bond Fire? Two hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. The 32-year-old, Joy Legato, he's already built a whole of Baynt career. Today, he etches his name in stone as one of the few to capture multiple championship

Legano. It's a two-time basketball cup through his champion. Time now starts up through his champion. Let me tell you right songs of champions. We are a Joey Logano household And when Papa Jake is happy, so are the babies. Your guy did it again. Oh Sure did I think it's you dude. It's like it's nothing to him. I think it's you. I do think it's you. I'll tell you why because I've... I mean, obviously I only know that name because of you,

but the idea that like a guy won two of the all around things is like a pretty huge thing, right? There's a lot of people done that. Very few. Terry has Kyle Bush done it? I think a handful of guys has as Kyle Bush is one too. There you go. Isn't that his enemy?

Kyle Bush hit the test, Joey Ligano. Yeah, so it's setting up a nice dude. This is it. It's 2-2. Yeah. Oh, when Joey sees a challenge. Oh, you got to go for your other boyfriend. And there's so much going on today.

Jacob's just soaking in dick. Yeah! It's a bonfire series. Sex and affection. One, two, three. So good and dick It's a bonfire series XM action talk one of three I'm dance soda that's big Joe Kerson you just heard with our crew all half of our crew just went outside to Go cost Timothy Oliphance in the house. They're would you say they're justified? I would I would. I would. Um. We just, we just had a little confab with a little trifecta meeting, a little teta, a little

teta, with one cone and o' brine. I can't tell you, and I said this the second I walked this through. Do you think he's a guy who remembers us both. I don't know But I'll tell you whatever that was felt familiar felt real, but Jim said I Said good to see you again. That was a move, dude. I was just in awe If you just saw me I was I was just like hi J's right. I'm lucky. I didn't call him Mr. O'Brien. Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't call him I was overriding slowly I almost went that's Kurt mode

Well, I would have gone Lewis mode and called him mr. O'Brien you call that his name at the end Which was still did read weird. It's not a problem not problematically, but it was that it's like that like nervous Yeah, so because we were like yeah Hopefully we'll have hopefully we're gonna try to get him for the pre-record tomorrow. Yeah come out Thursday And that's in the Kansas. He's like hey, hopefully we'll see it stands like hopefully we'll have, hopefully we're gonna try to get him for the pre-record tomorrow. Yeah. Come out Thursday. And that's in the can, so he's like, hey, hopefully we'll see, hopefully we'll see tomorrow. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna have time works out, man. I'd love to.

He goes, okay, thanks Conan. Yeah. It was, and I was already shaking my head as I walked through the door. And, I mean, we both were talking about it before the show. He could have said anything and I would have agreed with it. There's, by the way, 50 people I would do that the same exact thing too. I mean, Conan's my guy though, we were talking about last week.

Of course, no, no, I don't understand. I think it's awesome to be Conan, but listen, I did the Conan O'Brien stage shows, not that he was on, yeah, at Comic Con the one year. And like, I was bummed I didn't see him, you know what I mean? Yeah. But like, yeah, I would thought he was cool. Yeah, it's him that you know, I mean yeah, but like

Yeah, I was thought he was cool. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Yeah, it is awesome to talk to him right but for some reason like He won't make me like Jabberjod when he started talking to me backstage at the show. Yeah, I was kind of like oh This is real I felt when Jimmy Fallon came by for the thing. Yeah, yeah I thought Jimmy Fallon came by for this thing. Yeah You know what I'm gonna fuck you daddy. Try the Cook cakes. Yeah, it's good. Found you do a good casual Jimmy never tried before. That was my first shot first shot in Pression. Yeah, there it is. Jay Ogerson genius. Yeah, no, right. Um

Wow, I want to be able to come back in because uh well right now till Timothy Olafant walked out and Jacob his pants are being pulled off by Jacob Then all the way Jacob screaming like a girl in a beeper concert It's shrieks. I felt it. I touched it. I touched it. It just keeps calling him deadwood. Yeah, he's rude to call him deadwood He's oh man. I hope I hope you're taking pictures blackwood and he's filming Yeah, action. Yeah, and he's filming the action. Yeah, you want to see the shaky hands, you want to see? Because if I would have been filmed with Mr. O'Brien, I would have been fun. I wish we had that.

I'd probably... Okay, thank you Conan. Oh, so much Conan. I look for the catch later. Can we have a catch? You're always there for me. It's making me feel right. It's making me feel right.

It's making me feel right about myself. Do you Nick Kroner? I'm Nick Kroner. I'm Nick Kroner. I'm Nick Kroner. I'm Nick Kroner. I'm Nick Kroner. It's made me feel right it's make me feel great Play that again, that makes me laugh so it's made me feel right about myself Nick crawls a new special in Netflix were that joke you finally put that joke on a special about how cool you are with your dad being a Dickhead and then your mom whatever she does a noise. Yeah, I saw in the trailer I'm fucking love that joke. I saw him do it at a festival somewhere. I was like god damn it That's a great bit. She's like, you look nice tonight. I go, why so I don't look good other nights?

She's just a lot. He doesn't perfect. He's fighting and watching. Is it great? Uh, yeah, it's funny. He's special. I didn't see it yet. I did see Ari.

She fears Jew. So did I. It's fucking great, dude. I checked. Third or, yeah, Thursday or Friday with like one and a half full days out. Yeah. It was already and half a million.

So I think it's over a million and stuff already which is pretty fucking I gotta finish it I'm so awesome. I made it halfway through and I paused it I honestly bailed on I did crow for like you said it was funny I was I watched like that bit and two other bits. Yeah, I did some shot. I watched a bad special That will remain I Was all over the map. I was doing, I was hopping around. Is it on that flicks?

Give me that. Yes. Hmm. Who's new on that flicks? It gets a thing. Bop-a-dee-bop. Just go watch Irish if you're Jew on YouTube. Yeah, I did watch it.

Yeah. How did you feel watching it as a Jewish man? It did hit a lot of, I thought I had a lot, yeah, it resonated with me, a lot of good stuff, man. How are you? It was so funny. Yeah, it's fantastic. I'm a brilliant hour, hour and a half.

Yeah, my bow, yeah, right? Is it an hour and a half or something? It's an hour and a half, yeah. So good. But you were saying when you first checked it out, it was like half a million. Just checked on the views. Yeah, now it's obvious. So when I watched it, I watched it it out, it was like half a million. Just checked like on the views. Yeah. Now it's obvious.

When I watched it, I watched it that day. And it was half a million. I mean, you have to. So that means it's if he's on pace, which it is, the pot. I know all the podcasts he's done are coming out like, as we speak, you know, like last week, this week, and like each one's like, it's great. It's so good. So impressive.

Jacob had to just go with deadwood. Mr. Deadwood. You're a super nice guy. nice guy really cool. Yeah kiss him on the cheek. I gushed like a little girl. Yeah, did you make it? Tim man. Did you make a happy? You're You say Tim man? No, no, no, no, I know I know I know I don't even call him Tim man. I'm saying no. No, I didn't do like Tim man No, I didn't it's you don't do things. I did say I love I love deadwood I always did you say sorry about the shirt it goes don't mind the shirts my boyfriends Sorry, sorry Mr. Deadwood. I belong to Joey Ligato so much going on today. Do you remember the MTV show? You know all the fields. I'm sorry. It's art

I on today. Do you remember the MTV show? You're getting all the feels I'm sorry. It's hard. We get gloss over Joey's win. Oh, because I left the room. It's my fault. Yeah, you're your number one, not your side piece Timothy Olafan. We're supposed to interview tomorrow. The will air Thursday. Joey Lugano. Yeah, it's a big day. Both of our crushes are on. Yeah. We're both going to dress up. Well, I'm I'm dressed in what I'm going to dress.

You're in a way where your pencil oil. You should wear the four. You should wear all of our pens. You should wear one of the pencil oil jackets. No, I want you both to wear them because I'm going to let you know. I got one upstairs for you. Is that what I thought fits me. So maybe to fit you.

Is it yours? He sent you one. No, no, no, it's not mine, but I... It's one of the mines are dance. Right, I think. So if Dan's in the storage, I think I gave you mine. You, you show up at your house. Yeah, remember you put it over your shoulders when he was cold that night?

You guys were rocking home. Don't you remember that from the sock hop? Yeah, dude. Remember that? God, it was the first night we necked. Yeah, dude, you remember? And then Jay told you he was gonna do that dangerous drag race. You told me you were going to be out front with his scarf. You told me you never next with a boy

before. Don't you remember that inspiration point? Is it really? It's all blurry. You drank it all the way. No, I do. Not those memories. Totally those. I wanted to tell you because I don't want to waste anyone's time with a video or anything. I would like to know if DJ Lewer, you caught up on the VAL. Did you watch episode three? I did. Okay, there was a scene, not a scene, so the VAL season two is next to him, cult documentary. Got it. They did it. How do you do a second season of that documentary? It's happening. Well, it's because he's in jail. It's him going on trial. But now, why it's a great second season is, as soon as all those arrests happened and they started telling people

who were more involved in the business side, and then they were able to also like deprogram the people who we had like in the sex part of it. Yeah, and they were two different. Well, there's just some people who weren't involved in the sex cult that were just. Can you imagine beating the cult not getting the sex? How bad that sucks. Well, there's just some people who weren't involved in the sex cult that were just. Can you imagine beating the cult, not getting the sex? How about that sucks?

Well, it made sense. Like his business lady, Nancy Salisman, that's her name, right? That's like his right hand lady. She was all business stuff, but whatever they were doing, probably not much fault of hers, maybe though, there was like playing with money, as was the issue there.

Sure. They got them on that too. I'm just saying if it's down on the paperwork on paper if you're like you're joining this cult Uh, then later you find out that there was sex other people are all in these giant padded rooms banging around uh crazy shit Uh, and it's getting like darker and darker, but the so what it this season is them they flipped those people So it seems like episode by episode You're talking to somebody who in the first season was like still moving around with them

and trying to hide them and all this kind of stuff. And now they're like, yeah, not the guy fucking brainwash me, is a fucking piece of shit. So that is interesting. I've never thought about documentary series being more than like, being multiple seasons. It's because there are people that are gonna

Change from season one to season two that might have been like or even if it was like a crime documentary That like might might be witnesses that that aren't witnesses, but yeah with Colt You're definitely a lot of day line in 2020 a lot of times their stories start off with like new evidence emerges in the 20 year So you know, I mean that is it is that sort of thing But this has been great so far, but Lou really because that first season was one of the most overbladed This is better. This is better. I think the seasons do better Yeah, because they deal with the real events of what happens with the court and and how everybody abandoned this fucking guy Yeah, and the people also who don't still, because you got into a thing where,

I guess they actually did know, like some techniques of stuff. He was like a smart guy and like a manipulation and you know some book smarts. Yeah. But they sort of figured out how to dare, I say cure Tourette's and it was such a weird mental game. I'll do it no just as explaining it,

but it's essentially more like they'd stop their ticks because they wanted to please them and not make it seem like they failed. It was very like, but it does sort of work. Like these people got rid of their ticks and with the diagnosed terrets. So they stopped doing the, yep. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But they, yes. So they were able to do some weird thing. Yep But they yes, so they were able to do some weird things so some people are still like Sex coach smex cult dude this guy's maybe stuff looking weird to parties I don't bark at the grocery store you wore genuinely like I do they show the woman he first comes into the blazing He's like faggot faggot Oh, buddy, and then they what what did they, they just had these 10 firsts? That's the first that they, they had this, uh, subtitle that, Faggot, Faggot.

This is what he first walks in is what he says to them. Yeah. Uh, And then what did they do to them? It's like this cognitive, like therapy thing they do. And it's just like, they get them. Listen, I'm sure it didn't work for everybody who they tried it on.

But the guy, again, the first guy, the guy who did it, that it didn't work, and he's like, that's so fucking stuck. Yeah, man, there were a bunch of, yeah, as I couldn't even, well, you know what it was, they were trying it, he convinced him to like, Tourette says what they thought made them special,

and it's like, it's not, so like, whatever it was, he just convinced him like, basically to not do it. Yeah, stop it. Stop folks, you know, a potential, yeah. It's like with hiccups, you know, when they're like, hiccup and I'll give you $100. I'm like, I guess the way they said the way they do it though,

when they stop ticking, like something else in their life is going to fall to pieces and sort of does happen. But because it's a mental game. Yeah. Once they cure them of the Tourette, then they start doing their culture on them and start telling them. Yeah, exactly. We got. Yeah. So remember, remember when you would remember when it was uncomfortable to

go to movies your whole life. Yeah, if you're susceptible, like if you're susceptible to curing your Tourette's, you're also susceptible to joining a sexual. You remember how you could ruin every time in an ice cream parlor just by walking in. Fuck, fuck, shit. It... It... Not just... Not just a right. Is this like what? Is there another place where I see it? Is this a franchise? Kill the babies!

And uh, do you guys read his water ice? Can I try that rocky road? Yeah! Kill the kids! Kill the kids! But, in the newest episode, the thing that made me laugh that Louis, I think when I remind you, you'll think it's funny again. This had be cackling last night by myself. Um, he doesn't experiment with one of the girls and it's kind of setting up she's going to talk next week.

It's the daughter of his right hand girl. But I definitely think he was fucking constantly. You thought he was fucking the daughter? He was fucking his partner's daughter for sure That's the fucking his partner. No, she's she was the money lady. Yeah, she was involved Nancy's daughter Sonsie's daughter though is salsa Salzman yeah, she's who about is about to talk next week But daughter's name was salsa. They're loading up like how deep he had her in yeah, and he's doing he's conducting a class

Jacob you can be ever second. I gotta tell you about this in the phone. I will ha This makes me laugh so hard So we're filming it so I have to do a fire. Yeah, look look I'm over here in film it. So you can see what I'm talking about He goes, all right, Laura, put your hands on my hands. He's like, and he goes, now try to, it's so weird, it seems so backwards. He goes, try to keep up with my hands and with what I'm doing.

So Jacob, try to do that, right? It's like, right? It's ridiculous. And the thing is, if I really want to, I can break away from you, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So then he goes, and the reason is if I really want to, I can break away from you. You're saying? Yeah. So then he goes, and the reason you're slipping up on that, he's telling us because you're not, you're thinking about it too much.

You're not just like going with it. So he wants, he wants to prove how good he is at this. Not always you're not good at it. This is what he, he tries to look away from the whole situation. He goes, go, move your hands down. I'll keep up with you when he's going I'm telling you he starts throwing crazy like when someone's trying to work one of those wooden yeah And he's looking at the crowd and he's like doing this and he just dex the girl in the face It's so if you want to bring it up, it's like the last episode.

It looks like, um... It's the last episode of the Val and each of you will see where it's at. Like the steam that's going to toss us people. You know when Steven's like, I know he's doing a keto or whatever. Yeah, exactly. He's trying to look. He's like, he's like, it's this simple if I do it. And he's going way too hard for being a girl. When you go to the... When I think he was trying to do,

go ahead and grab my shirt. What he was trying to do, well, that's Steven's a golden shirt on the microphone. If you can see, I believe what he was trying to do, yeah, was not let her actually control where it goes. Like he was gonna go hard and control her hands.

Yeah. So it looks like he's so good at following her movement. Do you know what I'm saying? They're pushing him in and moving. He's gonna control it, yes. Exactly, exactly, he just described. And in his dead, he just was wacky. Like, dude, it's so crazy.

I mean, he's belter in the face. That's a thing. He's like, yeah, all right, you're right. She's like, he just need to think a minute. Like, yeah, he's like, he rings her bell. And then she's like sitting down and he's like, and he's like that half embarrassed, but he just keeps going, he's like,

so you see, like this way it works is, you're letting him, are you okay? Are you gonna be okay? And she's like, yeah, yeah. Is this after they've been sleeping together? Or before I did that, I'm not sure. Okay, because that's as crazy as if he hits her and then he's like, my guess would be after.

Do you wanna get a drink sometime? Turning her around. It never had to be be that do you remember when I fucking open palms slapped you right there in front everybody remember when I almost jammed your nose up in your brain it's never a will you fuck he just has somebody else in the thing be like all right your next assignment for the sorority is uh like go get come from Keith sorority is uh like go get come from Keith like it would be like and they go oh uh I drew that one and not sweep the front board yeah it was always like uh go give Keith a blowjob it's like a cult thing where you're like a range board game night and then number one is like

sucky sass it was always something like that season one season one was like more almost Like pinpoint things it would be like ghosts to do sim and like pleasure him But he doesn't pleasure you at all or go let him pleasure you. It's like go let him go Do sim into letting him eat your pussy based on a weird go let keys when it madden by 21 I'm doing really good tonight. She's like yeah, you're doing great. You're doing really good tonight. And she's like, yeah, you're doing great. You're definitely not leaving. Dude, the same stupid. The same stupid.

A pleasure documentary on that Flix now. I just watched that and I caught orgasm saying the story of one taste. Oh, okay. And one taste was a nexium. Coal instead of selling like wellness, like your brain wellness. This is orgasm and everything's orgasm stuff.

And it's basically a thing for dorks, nerds and weirdos, to go, because they have an opportunity to do a finger fuck and get jacked off by hot chicks. Yeah. But they just join these like communes, and it's all like, again, it's a pyramid system, same thing, or who you bringing in to get somebody else to take these like jerk off parties,

essentially is what you're going to. And the girl, I mean, if you're the buddy of that, before you know that it's a pyramid, really, it's all your friend, oh, it's all girl. Well, it started off all girls, and it's a girl, a girl, at the head, of all the former go-go dance, yeah, her.

And she'll, by the way, put their money where a mouth is, she'll go to these, because she knows it sells stuff, and she used to be a stripper. So she'll by the way puts her money where a mouth is she'll go to these because she knows it sells stuff and she used to be a stripper. So she'll go finger a bunch of girls and get in the joiner call that and not even finger the girl she'll also get naked hit there and let like guys come up and like finger her and play with her pussy. What's that greeting like how are you?

You're not the finger. She's is there naked and you go how you doing do it Glover no glove. They just they just want to come here. This is their naked and you go how you doing do it Glover no glove Do you want to come here? You want me to put the push it through the slot? They change names. They still operate this company apparently where they change names and she sold off her steak and it and damn She's like in hiding or something Because they were really like they're

Every time I watch this it's always cool. There's always people where I'm like They would get me they would get me all they'd have to do is tell me something I'm doing wrong And then be like you're great Besides this and I'd be like yeah, that's right. You're I could have gotten this one could have got me But I definitely But yeah, this one's specifically once but I would have never taken seriously see the like the shanani noon Like we're transferring energies. I'm just like hey when could I flick this chicks quit? I'm here to fucking goose

What do we do here? I'm gonna get a little a ba-wush on the old arm hair. I'm trying to get some stinky pinky Hey, teach is there is there nerve endings in the butthole? I'll check. Hey guys, I'm wearing basketball shorts. No, I need knocking around. Yeah. It's just, it's fat guys and weird. Only one, there's one like super handsome, like Latino kid.

Yeah. Who was in it and like he was just, but by the way, so the same thing, they do these show, but then you're just, you're recruiting people to go around, just like Keith Ranieri, then give more speeches, other places and put on these demonstrations. I just got the assignment that I'm supposed to vacuum

for Keith and make him a sandwich. Buddy, this guy at work, this Hispanic kid, he goes one day me and this girl were fighting about something we were arguing about something at work, like really arguing, and she got in the middle of us, the boss she goes, no, no, we're not going to do this right now She goes go go have sex with each other right now and don't come back until you do so go so we went in this other room We just had like weird sex and then came back in I've never talked about it again I'm like what did you come back and go in the CFO made me fuck Jody from a

She's my macaroni and cheese what do you come back and go into cfo made me fuck jody from a account that that jody i think you're back in jesus i left in the fridge and he's like you guys go fucking your cube that's fucking back and steves finishing the last of the water never replacing the uh... the water cancer success to jerk him off you're unmarried

she was but did you jerky moth that you jerk him off. I'm married. She goes, but did you jerk him off? Yeah, also we're playing each other in fantasy football this week. It just feels like I'd be weird. If I jerk them off and then you know, you want to do you like this job? Go jerk off Steve. Come back here and finish your reports. I'll go jerk off. I mean, I don't want to lose. I don't want to lose the Jackson account. So I'm going to do it. But I watched the documentary, I only watched the first two of the three episodes. Sally killer.

Yeah, yeah, the female bodybuilder. It's pretty good too. She marries a, they're both Marines, bodybuilders that marry each other and then she kills them because he's abusive, but I got, I haven't watched third episodes. They're both nuts. Yeah, they're on steroids, but I thought of you when they were showing the kids talking about being at the competition. Oh, yeah, we don't people up in shit.

Me and you are, and I just recently realized this, another bond we have is we both had to go to gay competition. You had to go to a bodybuilder. No, not really. I've always saw body building because of my step. Are you going to power lift? Cis' it, we'd go to power lift in color. Way cooler, never any masculine.

Mine is opposite. Well, you're a land I'm see. But I'll go. I can't go much just with, but I was thinking about those things. Hell amiss. You night. We are the centaur. Is it not?

Centurions. Centurions, yeah. We need need an air we need someone whose mom was a slutty flotteness McLeod I remember air's name yeah uh land was rock something he was green though so shout out oh no they was orange he was orange green he was green shout out this guy was blue yeah dude some of the coolest action figures of all time fuck they were good. They were great I had one of them. You just keep on the green you outfits to decorate them with or Kids that you're fucking after school program would take the stuff that attaches to them

So then finally just be a guy with a bunch of holes on them. Oh just Dude, I lost the helmet the final when I lost my guys helmet earth shattering day. Yeah, you're like, that's it. I was like Making the world just a mustache. You're a man in a green holy All I had mustache. There were only one specific size. So you couldn't You couldn't pair him with another Oh, oh no, those ones. Oh, you couldn't pair him for another toy line And you also couldn't use parts from a difference in cheer and on a difference So then you just hold them for a couple years and

then he becomes a villain of the X-Men when you get into the X-Men. Yeah, that's it. It's all about repackage. You're thinking you're moving, you're bobbing, you're weaving. Yeah, but of cults, or guys and men could have got me in. I would have preached their bullshit, but I just don't think my mind would have gotten into. Like I said, I would have done whatever they wanted me to act like I was doing when the ladies like blowing fucking raspberries in my belly and saying that's like transfer. That's what she does.

Raki. Rambaa. It's wacky. You just humbada. What is it? Bada bada. And you weren't you were you were a stripper. You're like doing that thing where you look down at her.

You know, where did you work? Would you work? But just you work? Would you work? But just a girl would you work lucky ladies? Huh? Do the demos are so weird though someone is going and laying in a like a board room We're not a board room, but like you know like a conference room at a hotel Yeah, I just go on up on this table. Okay, and then it's like sir Do you want to go over your and try this top right right quadrant of the clip, stroke it, and they call it getting stroked. And stroke masters.

Dude, they had that merch. They had that merch. I would love to be a stroke master. If they had merch, it would be, they would have paid for them, Colt. They do. Does they stroke masters? Oh, no, no, no, the thing was like orgasms or something.

Fuck. I mean, you're an idiot. If you have the term stroke master and you're not profiting off it for you I'm a total stroke master me. I'm a stroke master because they want to make it see my paint brushes What are you looking for an edger? I'll fucking we might want to put tape over the fucking core you got any frog tape you want to put over your butthole Just get weird here. I'll pull it. It's gonna look completely

Killer Sally was like it it what it's what you think it's shit finish it before we talk about that We'll talk about later, but yeah this lady I I want to know what they what did they rebrand the company to if it's still functioning I might join what's it called? I become you look that up to the afternoon a stroke lord or something the orgasm cult general What's their new what's their new business? It was called one taste one taste Yeah, because could they get you to it? It's from a quote of something It's from a quote of something like some but the ocean having one taste salt like the entire ocean is one taste and this is like what is supposed to be all it's all about orgasmic so it's like orgasmic conversations and forehead touching and it's so dumb the true story behind neflexes orgasmic the orgasm cold and by the way it was a cult because

And by the way, it was a cult because she would just tell her employees anytime they were arguing with somebody like to fuck them. And they just did because they were like, she told me to and like, that's the thing I guess. So they were just big, like pin cushions for cock because. Walking in the studio and it's John Lennon shirt, I guess trying to get shot or something. It's buddy from the YouTube smash success. Jew sensation. It's Ari. Shafir. Thank you. I'm just placing a Jew to be here. Yeah.

It's okay. How's the press? I haven't today. Yeah. Jacob's got Joey Lagana one yesterday. He got nice dude. He got to meet Tim if the Ole fan today. I saw Blake Shelton out in the lobby. Really? Jay and I were hanging out with Conan in the hallway earlier. Conan the barbarians? Yes. Yep, Conan the Brian.

Yeah. Really? Where'd you both know him, right? No, I don't know. I was giddy as a girl. I dare you do. Boom. I mean, I've done it twice.

Oh, so you do know. I don't know. You know what I was going to do? I was going to be known. Yeah, what I'm saying, you know what I do. Yeah, I did it twice. I'm just saying I'm a loser. I'm a super fan. I did it once, but it was panel It was great. That's why I feel like he's right when the show started

I think he at least realized he knows me from somewhere. Yeah, he I don't know if he for sure knows that I was on bad Yeah, he did a he went when I did the second time I didn't like my set and I sat he like brought me over the couch and then like you say good night And he's like how did you feel that went? And I went, I don't think that I didn't like them and he was like, that crowd bucking sucked. And I just remember when he said that, I was like, man, it's cool.

Yeah, I liked how he said it to, how did you feel that went? Yeah, I know it didn't, but I don't wanna like ruin the dream. Well, they are also filming another episode that they sandwiched in another guest. So it went two guests and then I was like, oh, I'm gonna go my go and then they're like oh we're doing a guest from Thursday's show tired It's like right now. Yeah, and so then they like brought her out did the interview the opponents of Conan had a change Do the interview change back and they brought me they should have just don't leave keep it going

Yeah, but I was like fuck who was when you've done late night? Who was the coolest other guests that was there good question I had good question Kristalia He was in a guest. He was him in Courtney Cox were the guest my first Conan He was paneling. Yeah, it was when Whitney came out. Oh right. All right I had the guy who got a bat to the skull in walking dead. Oh Glenn Glenn. Yeah, that's and I had the brothers, the one of which was on the league.

Oh, the Duplos brothers, they reset afterwards like, Hey, that was really funny. That's great. Yeah. That is pretty cool. Oh, I had, yeah, who'd you have? What'd you have? Who was it, Jay? Andy Sandberg was the other person on the one. I liked him before that Corona commercial, the Snoop came out. Yeah, little lamb.

It's really ruined. Really ruined how I feel about him. Both of them really. He's just aging. Well, I mean, if you felt that great about Snoop, I mean, overall, I mean, what I find interesting, what I love about Snoop Dogg is that he is this, they put him in the most mainstream of mainstream media things.

And then he also like when they set him loose on a thing like the Jake Paul fight or whatever. He's yelling the N word. He doesn't he doesn't break the way he's just. Snoop. Yeah. He is. But they can just like they could put him up on strings. Yeah. Make him do his thing.

So I snoop stalker. He's like, Oh, I can put this blunt out for five minutes. Jacob, Jacob's got a whole thing about the, in your right, who else is the other part? It's Kevin Hart, the rock, and Snoop Dogg are advertised everything. Yeah, Snoop has never been like, I don't want to put a name on that. Whatever. Whatever. I mean, from porn, we're actually porn comedy series.

Big Snoop Dogg working with Hall of Burton. Yeah, I got the best. I'm killing people are Oma Middle East better look out. We got that new Snoop drone. We can take your dizzle for shizzle I'll murder was the case that they gave me When I killed a bunch of people in Saudi Arabia I got oh yeah Big snoop working with government contract dudes we were talking about a Documentary wash about a orgasm cult this lady Orgasm cult yeah, this lady's it. Oh

You do the opposite yep you edge but then no release I'm close. I just tweaked their labia and I get out of there. Great marketing. It's called orgasmic meditation. Okay. It got so it's home. So they call that. They go, you have to go home, which is a great term for flicking bean. I'm gonna go home. Yeah. I'm gonna go home. And that's what they say. And you go, when you home, you release this and the that and the blah, blah, blah Omen and they had merged as I love Or no I own but it's I heart M Who's think here's my question about their Omen what are they Omen to is it like some of these people you know no first of all You don't have to tense. Oh, it's always gonna be home the Omen. It's like it sounds like a heart

It is a harbored with the Omen and though. It's just a bunch of women or guys my same time It's like a heart. It is a harbored with the Omen and though it's just a bunch of women or guys might say time The Omen I wish there was a picture list that we could put out of the people of the guys Discussing this thing because yes exact guys. It's on Netflix. Yeah, they're like we can never Jordan bring it up now, but like we can never They're like you know, it's like, I was a guy, I wasn't very good women. And I, and they came in there and they showed me like, oh, it's just because of this.

And by the way, what hit me about it, why could be Lord into it? Yeah. The girl took my virginity before she got into me and was like upset when I dated a girl afterwards. This was who, the dad was a skinhead, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the story I told you thing, Ari. Um, that girl, the guy underrated. Yeah. Underrated

dad. She's a lady. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That we were hooking up under the guys that she was like, Oh, you're, you're awesome. She would tell me like, you just don't have any confidence. Like, you need some self confidence. Do that's like an 80s teenage movie. Absolutely. She was 20, just're awesome. She would tell me like you just don't have any confidence like you need some self confidence Do that's like an 80s teenage movie absolutely she was 20. Yes, we're 22 We're like she pulled up and like the red cat all the sunglasses and she's like I'm gonna make that boy cool by the end of the summer and Jay was pushing on a lawnmower wiping sweat off Go ahead and make you a man a simile Jay

Yeah, and then just you fucking her all summer and he's like, sometimes you can turn cool. Yeah. Yeah, it was camp army love. Yeah, did that really work? I wasn't like that shade. Yeah, it was. It was you live camp army love. And then my nerd friends go, hey, Jay,

and I can live my sunglasses from behind my ear like that. And you get into African dance. I lost to what it really was. And then I got back to it and realized, and still somehow the girl came, comes back. So she was the whole time being like, I'm giving you confidence right now. She enjoyed fucking because we did it a bunch.

Yeah. And upon her, let's hang out kind of thing, too. And I said when I was like, hey, great news. I got confidence in this girl, being this girl sort of hooked me up She's like what or is he each other? Yeah By the way to make me cool right

I totally would have what day of course. Yeah, I would have been thrilled to She was just doing like I like no, I'm like a Hard to get a friend no, I'm like now just just a friend is doing this for you. She dating someone else I like on and off at the wall before we fucked probably the close way here I'd say because I was because I would guess that there would be times where she's like dating someone and she's like Sorry, I can't tonight my boyfriend's buddy, and I would listen to and she'd get dropped off By the guy and I and I'd see a good job that I would listen to like like sad like nights and white satin type music is look at my window I'll sing her get out

I had a girl that I thought I was in love with because she made out with me I didn't realize she was just waiting for me to have sex with her and I just wouldn't do it. I think that was a possibility. She was so hot she just has to talk put your hand on me and she just boner up and then we made it a few times to my friend Darren I knew it was going over there and I stayed on the deck of the doorchester hall for hours waiting for him and then I saw him walk across the quad Seathing just seething It's like I know back, what a loser. Oh my God, I had one where there was a stripper in my building.

She said she was like a bartender at the strip club, but it was like, I had a two fold with her. I hooked up with her and she was hot and I was like, this is awesome. What a cool thing. And then this like fat hippie that lived under me was like, yeah, she sucked my dick like two days ago and I went that's up and then that was like the sink and then I was on my balcony smoking a cigarette and

she pulled up in the strip club limo and got out and these guys these random dudes in the apartment complex were just playing beer pong on their shitty patio and she's like hey they're like doing the new home here like a little bit of it she was like I'd love to and I watched her walk in that apartment and I was like, hi! And they're like, you want me to do a new move? I mean, you're like a little bit of it. And she was like, I'd love to. And I watched her walk in that apartment. And I was like, damn, dude, this girl is just relentless. She goes over a little bit. Damn, it's horror.

Do you know of like, the stripper? You know, of like, what she's alive, dude. Again, of those weird cult things, they get people wrapped up into. Yeah. Like, to go back to some of that shit, that's something they said that resonated with me yesterday. Again, it's just like a way I get what that's something they said that resonate with me yesterday again

It's just like a way I get what they're saying they get you with logic Yeah, and then start pumping illogical things and they tell you they can fix something in you right But they made a really good point about they were like people don't think they're in control of your sadness or your anger They think you're not in control of that but you are completely in control that in fact When you're feeling those things you're feeling an actual enjoyment, you remember that low? You're feeling an actual enjoyment in feeling that way, and it's kind of what we're talking about.

You want to see them get dropped off. Do you know what I mean? You want to see because you want to feel that thing and you're trying to get that feeling. It's the reason you play with the loose tooth. Yes, with your tongue. But it's all in like, oh nice. But it reminds me, like when I was a,

like when my long girlfriend when I was like before Carla. Yeah. High school, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was dating her and like when we broke up and she broke up me on my way home, the area, like the neighborhood where the guy she left me and started dating for was like in root home. So I would, you know, it's like eight blocks or whatever you

know. So I would like loop around like that thing. Just like, you know, it's like take 10 minutes, but like look for her car because and when you find the car, not only do you want to see the car, part of you wants to see the silhouette of like her head going down. I need to see you. Yeah, you gotta go and just get you to go, no! My heart! Oh, turn the knife! I had one.

I went out to a show with this girl, and I was fully dating her. And we went to show the game to the smell. And then it was like the band was like a Brazilians. And they were like, you wanna hang out later? And I was like, to all of us. And I was like, do you wanna go hang out? And she goes, no, I'm just gonna go home and paint.

And I was like, okay. Drop the roof at home. Went to the store. Um, uh, dice was there with Eleanor. He was like, what's your dude and I told him I was like, dropped off, you know, she went home and he goes, no, she didn't. And I was like, what? No, I'm not. She didn't. I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, does she usually want to go home and paint? No, did you run? You don't know this girl. He goes, go see her car's still there. And I went and it wasn't. And then I had to try to remember which hotel they say they

bet, drove all the way down sunset, then all the way back. I'm like, I think it's this one went through the parking garage over until I saw the car. And I needed to see it. I needed to see it. And then you know, it's called their next day. It sucked, but there was also a kind of like a... Well, here's a suck right be able to suck also the suck of that also good pain

What hurts more than her going home and then going back out this thing was that before she even left you she Not only she know she said to somebody in that camp like yeah, let me let me Let me get rid of him and I'll be I'll be over that means to a group of people they were like that's that's almost the thing that's a hurting me most goes Hey, I'm gonna go make I'm gonna get rid of this fat dumb shit drop him off and get him out of my face Yeah, so then or the thing you have fun without being with this loser Yeah, just ditch me just ditch me just ditch me't tell people. You don't even have to fuck you We don't have to even yeah, I'm just realizing that because I called her next day

I was like so what did you last night because actually I think she thought she was caught because I actually you know Couldn't really think of any of the pants. I actually and going out. You know, I met those guys. It was cool We just hung out talks. I didn't like how how do you know what room they're in? What are you talking about? Yeah, you little pushback. I would roll over so easy Well, I've been high school and that girl was like before homecoming like I have a boyfriend now and I was like Yeah, I mean, we could probably still get a home. Come here No pushback. You're like not like all right. Well then fuck off later, dude. Yeah, I wish I was a man enough to be like each shit Fuck you get a loss. Yeah, it's so hard to know. No, not what you that is

No, there's a handful of kids that did, but even now it's an adult. Oh yeah. Comedy Central's like, hey, we need you to walk with your show. It's like, okay, I'm just going, no, fuck you. Yeah. You feel it with the press.

All right. Yeah, okay, are you mad? Whatever you guys say. Yeah, that's what it is, dude. Oh man, my, uh, those pain thing, my, that same girlfriend, Okay, are you mad? Whatever you guys did. That's what it is, dude. Oh man, my, did those pain things, that same girlfriend,

in that same time that she was breaking up, she was the slowest breakup, because she was probably also scared, you know, we were young, so she was probably afraid also of something different. I was all she knew since she lost her virginity basically. Yeah. And so it was scary for her too,

but she definitely wanted to move on, but so she come over like in the mornings and we'd fuck and then and she'd say like she's made a terrible mistake But she's gonna fix it and like you know, we'll be together still and I was such a dumb. I was like Oh, sure was this the girl that the PlayStation 2? Yeah, yeah, there's that story this bitch. Yeah, same story But she would come rule she come fucking it is She runs yeah, what's the emotion's gone? You're like, oh, dude, damn dominated. Buddy, she dominated in every possible way. It was because she would call me and, you know, she'd be like, I'm gonna come over whenever I'm like, I'm gonna fuck. And then she'd leave. And then she'd go home. And I guess like her parents were so her family was just so screwy. You know, I mean me like they would drive around my neighborhood looking for her car to see if she came to my place because I guess the guys

You everyone's following each other like a Benny Hill hallway. Yeah You guys are just driving around it was You guys are just chasing each other you're stopping and looking at it it. And then at one point, we both come out together, me and the person chasing me, and then we back again. And then you go out and kiss her, and then you guys run him back in different doors. You just run the family's going? No, so they went looking for her.

So they would basically, I guess the guy she was, she had it marrying, ultimately, was a friend of the family's. Do you know what I mean? So they wanted her to be with him. They did not like me at all. So like fair, maybe probably. So they would get on her ass and be like,

you were a J's house today, you were, so then to prove it, like the mother would want to prove it. So she, so we fucking the morning is what I remember. She's like, we're getting back together. We're together, like this is crazy. We're gonna I remember. She's like, we're getting back together. We're together. Like, this is crazy. We're gonna be together. And I'm like, okay, great.

Let's get past this. By the way, that's one of those things. Like as soon as I had my wits about me again, three weeks later, I would have like probably broke up with her. Do you know what I mean? You're on your heels. I just didn't want to be dumped like this. Yeah.

And I remember how much it hurt and how funny it was. Fuck, leave. 6, 7 o'clock and I get a call my phone and It would just be her mom on three way with her or mom behind her and she had to call me back I hate you so much. I hate you and she was everyone saying that I was at your house today Was I at your house today? So she calls up to be like shitty and then once me to like support her a lot Yeah, so I'd go yeah you did come over like this morning and we hung

out all day. Yeah actually I can't even say that I love my boyfriend you're ruining everything. Jesus. Like two days later you come over. That is fucking wild. Wow. That woman was absolutely also like give me some clues on what you want me to do for a lie. Yeah, you got to hint at it. I'm just This isn't here. This isn't fucking groundlings, dude. Was I at your house? Yeah. Why? Fuck you. Yeah. It is so funny. Damn. Yes, it's a no-and. Yeah. No. Yes, I don't know. I can't. It would have been so funny again having like your Your wits about you know, also be like especially the time of your. And I was like, you know, I'd cheat on her, the same way she was cheating on me, we're kids, you know? And she would, if she would have been like,

I'll continue like, you know, let's fuck still, like once a week or so or once twice a week still and whatever I go, I probably could have been like, talking to them that pretty easy. I'm like, yeah, I was already going to New York at time for comedy, do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I was kind of getting out of the world of like giving a shit, like I said, it was already, I think I already time for comedy. Do you know what I mean? I was kind of getting out of the world of like giving a shit.

Like I said, I think I already said many times I have to break up with her. Yeah, but like, it's the classic. You just don't want to get dumped. So you want to break up with her. And it was what I have to tell her. You'd both be fine with like, can we just hook up occasionally? It's like, yeah, yeah.

That's really all you had. I was just pretty talked to Pete Holmes once and he was like, you know, I'm afraid of hookin' up with these girls in the row, because you know, they might, it's like tough. You might wanna hurt them. And she's to Pete Holmes once, and he was like, you know, I'm afraid of hookin' up with these girls in the road, because you know, they might, it's like tough, you might wanna hurt them, and she's like, oh yeah, cause you're irresistible, right, Pete? One time hookin' up, and that's it,

they wanna make a life with you, you fucking idiot. He's like, damn, all right, fair, big sense. Oh, and you put it like that, I guess. Should we take our first break? Yeah, I guess we should take our first break. Arsh, fear's hanging out. New special, Jew, streaming on YouTube. Go check it out Now his tour coming through Dallas December 1st through the third

feature richie conquest. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, hell yeah, January is he a Cowboys fan? Yeah, that's what I'm taking us so weird That you know what the cowboy fan black though? Nice nice You know what the cowboy fan black though? Nice. Nice. It's a thing of like you want to say fuck you to the couple of your friends around you. That's why Che is a Niners fan. Oh, as everyone's New York Giants. His brother was a New York Giants fan and he was like, nine years old. Yeah, so it's what I'm saying, Reggie.

Black Lou, this is our year. We get disappointed in the playoffs instead of the regular season. He's a cowboy fan, same reason. Keith Robinson. Yeah. I know. It's so weird. I hate him. I like it.

I love hating the Eagles. January 13 to 15 in Pittsburgh, which we all can agree. Fuck the Steelers. Wow. Tickets are available to ryeshafear.com slash tour. We'll be right back. This is the bomb fire. Fire. Everything you said is true. Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the bonfires are radio show, a full show. We got a

studio and everything. You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. TheSeriesXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.