The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sex Island, The Jersey Shore & Opiates (w/ Richie Redding & Paul Virzi)

Episode Date: November 5, 2018

We find out that "Sex Island" is back in action,  Richie Reading tells us about love on the Jersey Shore & Paul Virzi joined the show for a discussion on Roseanne Barr and how ABC wrote her character off her show. 

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon. And I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8PM on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. No, they're doing that again! So be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire SXM.

Oh, they're doing that again. SX Island? SX Island, didn't they say they're getting a lineup? We gotta send you on on these trips, man. Jacob, what's the point of getting the juice? You know, Lou and I banged around Europe all summer. Right? We're for-skin buds. Lou was cleaning up.

Yeah. Yeah. Lou's banging hookers. I'm going to the sky to shake hands with God via mushrooms. Oh, SX Island is back. Yeah, dude. banging hookers. I'm going to the sky the shake hands with God via mushrooms. Oh sex Island is back Yeah, dude play the trailer Where's oh, I think I'm gonna send you coordinates to where it's better something to the 17th of December are you ready? Yeah Look at all the hot ass Did it get canceled last time dude crazy fantasies. It got canceled last time, right?

Jay shot up, dude. Hot girls. All inclusive. Oh, luxury lifestyle. I think you know naked activities. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if being naked in front of people at all,

I certainly don't wanna do activities naked. The activities naked is my big, it just found out as my bigger fear. If someone was with your biggest fear, I go being naked in front of a bunch of people. Sex Island activities in front of a bunch of people was actually my biggest fear. You wouldn't also hate the dildos you're gonna be walking around like the guys that are gonna be there. Oh my god. Like you saw the guy in this video. Yeah, did this all, did all jacked. What are you doing? You got a marium jaco? Just fucking do that. Yeah, what's

up? But I noticed you've been checking out my chest. I just want to know what you're doing your off days. I had a chr. So, where do you use the? You could probably get some leftover dynamite ball out of my dick hall. Dude, I kind of like the fact that you know the important parts of the healing part. Yeah, you want to go, uh, we want to give you a protein dose. I could take you down by the shore. We can make a real romantic like. Yeah, the event, here's the information on the website on sexisland.co. It's on our private islands. Enjoy the company of 100 beautiful Latin girls.

It's special in their slaves. Too hot DJs. On lease from an oil baron. I was spending the most exciting music all day. And I drug friendly environment. Yeah. All the girls will be able to please you and make you feel like a king

if you have any specific fantasies. Just let the host or the girls know and we'll be sure to make them a reality. Jacob, what's the thing? You've said something weird, dude. Dude, you can make it. They can make it. So you wanna train, like, you want girls

to dress like horses with butt plugs in and you wanna train them. You wanna break them. You wanna be a horse whisperer? Yes. Yeah, this one right here I found to break them. You want to be a horse whisperer. Yes. You got this one right here I found on the planes. I think she's a Spanish Mustang but I can break her. Look.

And it's all Latina girls so if you want to like really you want to demean them you can make them dress like donkeys or something. No. El Borro. El Borro Day said that. El Borro. Unlimited sex with two girls per day. Come on. Switching girls with two girls per day. Come on.

Switching girls with other guests is permitted. All the meals. You could trade chips. Oh dude, it's like pugs. Oh man, that's awesome. I don't like mine. You can trade it. I want a purple one.

Yeah, I can take this. I got a busty Colombian slut. Uh huh. So are a big booty guacamole of whore and he opened sores Yeah, no all disease free all the alcohol you deserve one track mark But she does say that she gave blood this week airport pick up and drop off yacht parties I think you're gonna get picked up and like a god damn jeep with a guy who one guy's holding a like a guy I do and, my name is Matt. I am your point man.

Now, this is basically drags your attache. This is basically Jurassic Park with pussy. Three days after electricity's gone out. And RT Rex is a heavy Puerto Rican woman, and that is hungry and angry. I think it's the little ones at the spitter, the squirt of the shootutes and acid at you. Who are you?

Oh no! Pfft! Ha ha ha! Hundred and lightning. Yeah, yeah! Hundred and lightning girls. That's very specific. I go, I want to pull off.

Ryan's showing up here, island. Oh, maybe that's what the fans, he says. I've already killed a Latina girl. Can you give me a time, it does. Every look, I looked, the sales pitch is great. But, this is great, but this is already murdered a Latina girl. I was bedroom's with a shower maybe an Oriental like stadium city. Do you have

Oriental girls? We know God and that. Bedrooms with showers. That's big. I think that's real big that they're leading with that because it lets you know you can wash off the showers. Brillow pads, hijack. You remember outbreak, those suits. This Bork acid, a delousing station. Delousing, an ice-prace station. We don't know where you're going to put your face, and it's none of our business. You pay the money, we put you there.

A Neo-Sporin pool. Check out our sponsor, Neo-Sporin Water Slide. It's on Neo-Sporin. Go down naked with your holes open. Why open wide and take a ride down the NeoSporin slide. Wi-Fi and unlimited condoms. They should put in parentheses for the dorks. Yeah.

Yeah. Or just next to the period, just put the parentheses with a question mark in it. It goes, why find unlimited condoms? Do you want to hear that? Or if it goes unlimited, con, dot, dot, dot, con, dot, dot, dot, it goes, I can't say it with a straight face. I can't imagine how many fucking cell phones salesmen are going to at this thing or dudes that sell cell phones of horizon stores this is what it is guys was souped out cars being like yo dude i'm going to sex island yo hold on i'm

gonna sell this idiot a fucking iPhone at any moment you can switch girls you won't go to the doob comb on why is there a luxury yacht in incredible sexual surprises unlimited fucking two hot Latinas a day. Dude, Jacob. And then, by the way, some of them... You call them the pit crew. Some of them only have two kids. Yeah.

Some of them didn't have to fight their way out of a fucking carrier, what's those called? And if you go for Ecuadorian chicks, because they, uh, they're... Why do you want me to go to somewhere you would never go? They're pretty smaller people. What? What's that? You would never go sex island me. How do you not know I haven't been there dude? I'm the mayor of see believe I wouldn't go do you believe that I think you wouldn't I would I would absolutely go I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna. I'm gonna wax up

I'm gonna get some Rosetta stone going and I'll see you and then on marked location to December 13th some Rosetta Stone going and I'll see you in an unmarked location to December 13th to the 17th. You'll get your coordinates. Thank God you have a map. Yeah, I'll drop it. I drop it on a shoot, dude. Because you have nautical maps at home. You could help us get there. Just, you'll see me come on the island. They call me Magellan. Because I'm a bastard. How about you, Jeremy, and some gash? Yeah, but I know we're revisiting this since they're doing this this year, but this is one of those places where you come and you immediately regret the decision. Dude, you're like, fuck, dude, I'm here for three days.

You could go, f**k. Why don't we get hired? We can be safety and privacy is their priority. So we have a full staff of security guards. Man, being a security guard on a fuck island, you gotta break up some really raunchy shit. Christine, could you email them and see if the hosts of

Comedy Central Radio's bonfire could be hired as security for sex island? Thank you. Okay, yeah. All you do that while we're on the air, please, I want to prove free to. I want to... Oh, dude, look at that. You get to eat stuff off naked women that definitely aren't prostitutes. I'm telling you the truth. By the way, it says how it's work.

How it... We know it doesn't. Go down. How it work. That's know it doesn't go down how it work It's just typed out it's just typed out stubs out cigarette how it work number one you cool you cop How it work you know you gotta tell me right If you don't say it's entrapment, so you know that right you can't trap me. So you gotta tell me. know you gotta tell me right? If you don't say it's in trapments, you know that right? You can't trap me. So you gotta tell me. So you gotta tell me. Are you caught? You gonna cover? Okay, okay, listen you seem cool because I just I pat you down for a while. I am just being cool I'm gonna be cool. I just need to be cool. So you gotta be cool. It's been a little dirty

I just want to know why that is hey look at me right now Six grand six grand. It's it's it's an episode of billions dog Ragnar Richie Reading I was told that we were talking about Jersey hose Are we yeah, well I was I was geeked up to tell one that it I kind of like Unblacked out the memory just recently the reason that my album is called late bloomers because I Was the last kid on earth to go through puberty. Like I just got no play, no play in high school. And I mean I'm 40 now and I still have the baby face.

But I mean you look 21. Oh, go on. And we all went to some party. It was around seaside heights, which is where the Jersey Shore was. And we always used to intentionally split up. That was the move. Like, which is where... It was like the shores of shorelines. And we always used to intentionally split up. That was the move. Like, oh yeah, my friends left me.

And because that's how you wind up staying somewhere. And it was like 11 p.m. and a girl was still in a bikini, which is a great sign. That cheese fucking hammer. And within two minutes of first starting a talk you were and I was about 110 pounds at this point right just a stud yeah perfectly hairless air dynamic and she somehow brought into the conversation do you want to start a loose team yeah she goes yeah so I'm you know I'm just really working on my

blow jobs this summer so she said it like she's like a post game she said it like she's trying to make varsity this So, she said it like she- It's like a post game. She said it like she- Try to make Varsity this year. Yeah, she said it like she was working on her L sets or something. Um, you know, I'm like working down at the Crab Shack and I'm just like sucking a lot of dicks, logging ours. Yeah. Just getting a lot of throat muscle in there.

So- It's reps, I'm always told. Yeah, so, you know, pretty obvious invitation there. Like as soon as there was an opening, well, I mean, let me tell you what, why was it on me? Yeah, that's who I was. I was always that guy.

It's like, what does that mean? You wanna surprise me? Does it mean she's no? So I took that shot and it worked. And another minute later, we go off into a side bedroom or something. And this girl, and I was still,

my pubes were new. Like they hadn't fallen out and recycled. Like it was the original carpet. It was my first bush, you know, yes. Yeah, the bottle-lilves. You're a model head. I'm like, yeah, you will not get this in yours. Yeah, and she like takes my pants down.

She's an absolute pro. She's chopping on gum the whole time that we're talking. And which could be intimidating for if you've ever caught too many blowjabs, however, those of us who have been in the bush, you know, if it got in your wispy pubes, you know, well, this little lady had a plan for that. She fucking, she takes the gum out of her mouth, puts in her hand and slaps it on my knee. So I'm to go to work on the fucking. stairs. That's her turn in the hat around the arm. She puts in her shift of, oh, let's say 80 seconds. And it takes the gum back and walks outside.

Really? And I always feel like I can see. Some of your cum got on that gum. Oh, for sure. I'm sure that spearman at Gum some of his come times that double mint What a pro, but that's the knuckle crack and I mean Don't ruin the story with details Yeah, you got a you got a NASCAR pit stop fucking blowjob

It does skew the scale Yeah, another hour later. She goes into the bedroom with another dude Reps day comes out still chewing gum. Yeah same gum. This might be the most frugal You know be the best if she that is the most evidence riddled punk a gum ever in the world That thing's got nine DNA on it. She spits that thing in your emergency and a lot of people are going away for a long time Willie won't think you know next you know you A lot of people are going away for a long time. It's just Willie Warren. You guys just found some more. Next you know you guys are called like the fucking central party.

It's me or something. You guys are the Jersey Shore Six. Yeah. Making a spare murder. Oh, the seaside seven. Yeah. Hey, we're out of Randy Bunch. Brutal murder.

Everyone, now fuck this girl. It's funny. When women get that blow job, like go to work phase, there's like certain girls out there. It's one girl I met and stand, I Island fucking tossed her necklace behind her. Like she was like, there's something to it to being like,

I wanna get good at this. Go away to the Jersey show. And she just did it clinical. I was somewhere in Skanky. He didn't even get like the I like you vibe. I was like, I use your, I think you probably wanna get your dick sucked thing. I just use the figure out the skill.

And the ghost thing's rolling her eyes. No, no, no, I listen. I don't think get your dick sucked thing. I just use the figure out the skill. And the ghostings roll in her eyes. No, no, no, I listen. I don't think this is a good thing. I'm saying, but it makes sense to get out of town. If you want to be a good shot, you got to shoot a lot of guns. And just, right. And then you go back and she doesn't have to really tell the whole world.

She didn't know that one of those dick she stuck was going to fucking get on a radio show and talk about it. I mean, you assume. Yeah, you assume it. That's safe. Everything floats to the top. I mean, you assume. Yeah, you assume. That's safe. Everything floats to the top. I do, she whatever, she gets some sort of validation

from sucking dick and she thinks it's hot to say that she's trying to get good at it. Well, she's definitely damaged. I think that's, of course I'm saying. I think that's her setting up to be the reason why she's gonna do it. Yes, but it gives her validation. Listen, we had a conversation with somebody

who was the person we talked to that was like, Oh, I'm friends with everybody. Oh, it's just came on the show Tracy, which is the, Oh, no, I'm friends with people. I'm friends of people. It's like, now my friends would, you know, whatever they'd come and like, they would call me whatever because I was just, you know, jerk them off. And so what? They're my friends. I was like, I'm going to, you know, they want to come. I help them come. I just friendship. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's a way that you're actually being pretty shitting you. Yeah. They're being pretty shitty to you actually. I just friendship. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a way they talk behind the back. Yeah, they're being pretty shitty to you actually.

And doing that. Yeah, like that girl was just like, let me just, do you want to put my comb here? Well, there's a, I have a theory that the stories that make girls stop drinking are the same story that make dudes go on forever. Yeah. That like, I'll find that bitch again.

Yeah, I bet in recovery for the long time. I had heard some girls say one time she's like, this is an overshare, but, you know, uh, St. Paddy's day really triggers me because I came out of a blackout one time on St. Paddy's day and I was surrounded by four leprechauns. I was on my knees and they all had their dicks in my face. Hey, come on. I know so close to finding out where the goal is Yeah, that was so rough just you

Dude, I think you'd die the beer green. We'd die something else green, too Those dudes version of that story is awesome. Dude, me, it's Patrick, Sully, and fucking Connor are all there with our dicks out The squirrel goes, I'm your pot of gold. We were tatered. Today. Kiss kisses. It's officially Cypress Hill Day. Ooh. It's about to get gully in these streets.

You ever been, when you're in elementary school, did you ever get sick on the day of a field trip? Yeah, I had chicken pox. Mm-hmm. Oh, and still, I had chicken pox. And still, I had to recover really quick to go to a ski trip. Did you go? I did go, but I had a lot of chicken pox on me still. I went a little bit.

You were pocked up. Yeah, it was done. I wasn't contagious anymore, but it was like that. I went with chicken pox. I didn't want to miss the school trip. I used to love school trips. Something, there was something magical in my mind that could happen on that bus I don't know why did you take a bus to school? No ever

A little bit when I moved to Jersey. Okay, very little but no, I was always in middle school all 6th and 8th grade Every day was a bus. Yeah, which probably makes it like I think when I went in high school on a bus a little bit Yeah, before I was able to drive Very little amount of time, but it was yeah, there was nothing magical about when I went in high school on a bus a little bit, yeah, before I was able to drive, very little amount of time, but it was, yeah, there was nothing magical about, when I was a kid. Yeah.

Could you go on a school trip and there'd be like a girl you like flirted with a little bit that day and maybe you ride on the bus back together and just something about that seemed like, it was a big deal, it wasn't dating, it was, I mean, we're too young to even give us you to about that we're dating. It was, it was just like me and that girl

Like had a thing there that we were we were tripped. I mean her laugh a bunch or whatever. Yeah Yeah, I know exactly so she's dick it is weird day for camera day that we're being so sap Yeah, but I remember all of them and true elementary schools going like Southmarked in an episode of it, but it's a thing that used to go to in elementary schools cave of the winds in Colorado Yeah, it's like these caves you go into and you learn about stagdights and stagmites But they had an episode of the South Park with Al Gore where he went in there and it was like the same like the one that I went to But I yeah, there's like a girl had a crush on Man, I had such a crush on this girl Carrie Cracky Olo when I was in fifth grade

I was in love with her and on Halloween, I was at my house, because you know, I was like 10. And I think my friends and I already went out and I came home and her and her and her friend, Caitlin Allgood came to trick or treating and she was dressed as grapes. And I remember being like, like hiding against the wall,

like, fuck an alien was in our house. Cause I was like, oh God, oh God. And I was so embarrassed that my mom was like oh those are nice grapes Shut up. Oh, yeah, oh you're worried about like you never bring these girls back to my place of my stupid parents Oh, man, I'm embarrassed to shit. I mean, I'm so awesome and there I had friends who was like, you know You'd go to my friend Adam you'd like go to his house and his mom was like they were like put there They had money so they like a finished his mom was like, they were like, they had money, so they had like a finished basement. That was like really nice.

And like Adam was confident with girls. So he was like, he'd bring his mom around like, mom, and I'm like, dude, you're crazy. I don't think a girl met Trish until she was, until I was deep in my 20s. Yeah. I unveiled it. You know what it was, like King Kong.

Yeah. Hobba ho! Feast! You're right came Feast my mom she's like We brought her from the island of moms She's very talkative the island of momsters momsters. Yeah, this is the cave in the wind. I am cave of the winds I actually had a school trip like Flirty it may be only in my head, but like she became my trip buddy with Carly roadside I, um, cave of the winds as well. I actually had a school trip like flirty. It may be only in my head, but like she became my trip, buddy,

with Carly Roadside, the same girl. Carly Roadside? Yeah, same. What a cool name. Same girl. It was a cool name. Same girl that years later, uh, I got in trouble for when the kid was like, you have a sex with that girl?

You hanging out there all the time and I was like, I don't know. Maybe. No. And then just a trickled back to her Oh, no, and then her family instead of just going like you asshole like in school And maybe asking me in school a little bit and me going like I didn't say all right. Yeah, we didn't you know I mean yeah, it was it came like her parents calling my parents threatening to sue for slander and shit. I'll hold you Young man, I got I wait like Jesus sounds young now, but I don't know 15. Yeah, that's still like your children. So it's like yeah, you're son saying this thing, but that field trip you had But Jacob are you why are you dressed like a lost Vietnam vet?

Lieutenant Daniel, all right, you're cool, you see, which is cool. They just for Cypress Hill, because by the way, speaking of Cypress Hill, Dan out under the weather. That's why I said, it feels like I'm sick and I'm missing a field trip. Yeah, Jacob in there. No, you're going. All right.

I went on the trips to DC free. We did DC, we did New York City. It's big. We did the caves and Hershey P.A. and all that shit. Yeah. We did out there. You think a ski trips, like two ski trips. Yeah.

And all those trips, I'd go to the, I'd go to all the bus ones where you come on that night, but I'm telling you, there was something like that day. You're never with all those people, like when you leave school, you can go with your friends, you know what I mean? Like the few people. But now it's like night time and you're with, you're kind of near the popular kids and the popular girls have been laughing at you all day because I'm the shithead.

You know? And you get that thing at bus ride home, and you're just like, someone's like nuzzled up and just wants you to make them laugh. Somebody even come over and you go, it's like, I'm bored and make me laugh. And like, you know, I'd start doing I'm bored and make me laugh. Yeah. You know, I'd start doing,

I'd start shucking and jiving right away. It's the always. But class the class clown objective is you have to go all the time. Yeah, right away start shucking and jiving. But I'm saying, I mean, in their mind, it was almost like, I went over and sat by the fat kid and told them make me laugh.

But in my mind, I'm like, we have a thing going right now. It's weird you're saying this, because I remember specifically a seventh grade field trip and it was, I had a disc man, like the one that wouldn't skip, and then I brought the two CDs I brought. We're Bush.

16. I don't want to come back down. 16 what? Stone. 16 stone that album. Taking me out of this, oh this time. I was, we were talking about the that out taking me oh this oh this 10 I was we were talking about the special earlier and I brought Adam Sandler's what that'll happen to me Those were like the two things they were bumping in your headphones those were the two things that let's do on that field trip

And I was like good choice so to I didn't waste time with headphones on a field trip buddy headphones on a field trip time I just the buses where I lay my groundwork man. Yeah, yeah groundwork. I can't be, I'm not trying to eat my own it looking at a window, think of the lyrics. I'm engaged, man. That's my day. Yeah, that's your day to shine. Everyone gets full personality. Yeah. We're not in a school room.

I'm in the bus. I'm in the back of the bus fucking holding court. See all the other court in school? See all my friends would, all my friends were like louder and more popular, so they would just control the back of the bus, and I'd be kind of like next to them like on the window. And that's why sometimes if I was like, hey if I just want to listen to machine head that's where driving through fucking wadsworth like I might, I did not have, I did not have the best years of my life growing up in school but dammit man.

Field trips were a challenge. If I didn't dominate a field trip. That's what they said. They said, J.O.G.R.S.S. and that is a guy's field trip. He's in my mind, dude. Field trip. I love it. It's the most time I spend with any of those

particular kids. I just give their dark man. The thought of you walking leading the tour is in young J and you go over here's a dinosaur. I must like Mrs. Hutchinson. You guys know everyone. All right everybody we're now going to be going into the Holocaust Museum and this.

The alleged Holocaust Museum. Am I right? Am I right? You guys go that funny? That's funny that I'm denying it because I'm Jewish. You guys got it? Samantha Samantha Mothavani. You got it.

We're going through the Holocaust Museum and it's quote unquote. Am I right everybody? Wink nudge. Wink nudge push and a lot of media help. Am I right? Okay. We're going through the Holocaust Museum, it was quote unquote. Am I right, everybody? Wait, no. Wait, no, push, and a lot of media help. I'm all right. Okay, we're all kids. I started rooming like that too if I owned all the media. Oh, yeah, go on, guys.

Go on doing here. ABC should have stood by Roseanne, is what they fucking should have done. I mean, what they did there is pretty fucking grow. I know, I know why they didn't do it, but I mean, Roseanne is a woman that was racist, wouldn't write a show where she has a black grandchild and a trans grandchild.

Her character and real life being a super right wing conservative, but still giving knows the funny and the whatever is in the view of this, not making racial jokes of the grand. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like she wouldn't be a part of that. If she had hate in her heart, even when I saw the Hitler picture that I thought Michelle actually weirdly misrepresented on her show, but it was a joke. I mean, when I get for the joke obviously, but I, just someone who forgot about when I saw the picture of her with the Hitler mustache, baking cookies, I was like, well, it is

Why the hell would she have tweeted that that's crazy. It was a photo shoot for hebe magazine. Yeah, it was for a Jewish pop magazine So it's like you're taking these things out of context like I don't know and then when she screamed I thought the bitch was white in that interview. I'd nothing's ever shop through my chest harder. I was like I believe her Yeah, I absolutely believe her that she had no idea. She could see was even just like, how much more of this fist up my ass, you want me to take? I kind of quietly have walked away from the show as you guys fired me. They killed her by making her a junkie. Yeah, that's crazy. It's, they kill a beloved character because some people, they kill the creator of the show by making her a junkie. And the star of the show and a beloved junky and the star the show and and a beloved

American television character You can die making her junky because in real life she tweeted something to and that's so that's a hard pill to swallow My question is after all this if it does calm down because Jay was saying it might not because of social media And that kind of gives it this thing, but like look at the Al Franken. Al Franken is an example of Leanne Tweedon said that he grabbed her breast over and it's like a picture that shows him while she's asleep. No, it's faking it. Yeah, he's faking it. And the left ate him on that. His own people were like, you should resign. And he resigned. And now it's like, he was one of your best senators. And now he's

gone. So you shot yourself in the foot. So at what point do you think 10 years down the road? Do people look back at this and go like? Like this? Yep. Like, like, like, oh man, like do you see like tweets from like, like, black entertainers being like, I fucks with Roseanne. That kind of got crazy for a little bit. Like, do you think people come back and they're like, kind of on hard on her there? And then you think she's like, I'm looking at Black Lou for his answer. Do you think that happens? That you think 10 years from now? Yeah, because I know a couple of Black people in my family

were like, listen, Paul Adin is an old racist as grown from the South, leave her a fuck alone. I wanna know how to put butter in my meals. And now that it'll kill me. Yeah. And that's it. Some Black people won't care, but here's the problem. Black people liking her aren't gonna put her back

on television, doesn't mean anything. So no, she won't be back no I'm not saying black people would say that like I'm saying is ever gonna be like oh that might have been yeah but there's a start but there's a matter of scarlet letters on her remember when Michael Vic had to like he went and saved dogs and he so maybe Louie just has to console people like

your dog yes you put your eyes at this he puts his arm on a kid's shoulder like I know you got the urge just don drink Just go kick people that dick and they pull it out Ha! Or maybe you're way He's like a guardian angel but on the subway for homeless dudes jerking in front of him Like is that ruined? So women that have been jerked off in front of in front now I understand the power element is what makes it like if you found it was your boss

You felt like it was suffocating but it's like It's terrible fucking things say that's how things dumb too But are there women on the subway that have homeless dudes in front of you? and the power element is what makes it like, if you find it was your boss, you felt like it was suffocating, but it's like terrible fucking things, say that's how things dumb too. But are there women on the subway that if the homeless dudes are jerked off or they're like, I can't come into work today. I saw a guy on the D train whack off

and the 80s that was like a normal thing. I heard there was somebody said, somebody did a joke about it on stage where they said this black woman was on the subway and a guy was doing it. I think it's on YouTube and she was, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you, and she got up

and she goes, you want to do that shit in front of me? And she was like trying to swing on them. She's like, you fuck, like she just called it out. And was like, no, you're not doing that shit right now. I bet she didn't go and like quit her job and still she probably beat the shit out of the house. I went to her job. My mom used to be a medical mediator,

like, you know, with lawyers. Like she's going to like try to negotiate, like if they're gonna set a lot of court You can tell us your mom let them all jerk off or far. Yeah, no, but she said that they would be at these hotels in Wyoming And then my mom drank and these dudes would drink and guys would plot their dicks and my mom would be like put your fucking Cockaway like we have business to do tomorrow sure No, but I believe that there's been like what should do what else? Yeah, all right my mom sucked all the decks I'm just a bit more interested in this story. No, but I believe that there's been like... Or should do. What else you have?

My mom sucked all the decks. She was in cleaner house. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app. Be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire at SXM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

be sure to follow us on all social media at the BondFiner. SXM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.