The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sex With Kinison (feat. Nathan Macintosh)

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

The gang discovers a bombshell about Sam Kinison as Nathan Macintosh joins in the fun.

And now the bonfire with Big J. and Robert Kelly. He made a... He had a fetish with making breasts too big, and he made them too big, and with the playmates or something like that, and the nipples would fall off. Are you from real? I'm from real. A little bonfire context here, maybe.

Yeah. I'll give you a little bonfire context. Nathan, are you familiar? We on to the Michael Jackson. Yeah. Are you familiar with who the rhythm section is in this song? Jesus Christ. The rhythm section. He had the band playing. I mean, is anybody? I would assume that nobody, I would assume Michael himself didn't know who was doing this. I'll give you a hint.

Woof, woof. Woof. It's a better hint than you think. The Baja, man. That's what I get from this this that wasn't bad. I'll give you another one ready Michael wins low. No ready. Here's another one. I'll get you my pretty With the Toad oh there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, took a while. Wow. Took a while That's some good. I mean, I have a good hint.

Bobby, those were good hints because I would give hints like Steve Luke a third play. That you know what? Oh fuck are you talking about everybody? Our guests of our good one is going to be performing at the Grammar C. Theater as part of the New York comedy festival November 11th at 7 30 p.m. And he's got a new special out money, never wake streaming right now on YouTube. It is the hilarious Nathan Macintosh. What's up buddy?

Hey, what's going on everybody? How you guys doing? Make sure you get your tickets too. It's a great way to see you in New York. You're usually playing the Sallar of the Clubs. Yeah, but you're gonna get to see you do your whole hour in a theater, so make sure you get your tickets to go see him. Yeah, thanks.

Come out, yeah, please come out. You don't have to get mozzarella sticks or anything Spide ticket and sit down and watch a show. Yeah, don't remind people are not gonna get mozzarella sticks, dude Well, I'm handing them out. I'm just saying I'm gonna fly any I got a bag that I drag out and throw into the front be great I'm gonna have seller mozzarella sticks and chicken wings and all my shows That would be part of the cell. Oh, I love those things, great. Yeah, who don't, dude? I always forget how great they are until I never order them.

Someone always gets them. And you want one, I'm like, nah, yeah. And then you do, you're like, oh, fuck, what am I doing? Do you do the sauce? Or do you just do a straight mozzarella? I do just the mozzarella by itself, but I do more of the wings. And I do the same kind of thing.

I'm like, oh, get wings for everybody and I eat the whole fucking thing. Yeah, they're too good. They're so good. I'm mozzarella sticks. I do one bite without sauce. Then I go in for the sauce. Really? Yeah, that's rogue.

One, it annoys everyone around you. Two, now you get the sauce going in the side, the breading a little bit. Can I tell you why that's disgusting? Because you're basically double dipping. That was gonna say the same. I'm single dipping with my double dip. Yeah, it's taking a sauce. You're ruining a sauce for everybody else.

This is what you're saying. Yeah. Don't use my sauce. What's the point of all this? I think if there's a point in this, what I was saying is stay the fuck away from my marinara. Did Toto come up today or you just knew that that was the rhythm section in that Michael Jackson song?

I happened to know that, but we were talking about it before the break. How I knew that. I was on the train today, and a guy came over with a speaker, and it was so loud. He had a bike, and the speaker was attached to it, and he just hit the button,

and it came on, and everybody was mad, and then it, but it broke into a Michael Jackson song and then everybody was happy. Broken to beat it. Broken to beat it. It's great. And we were like, what the fuck? And then he came and he goes, do you know, yes, you know that, you said, you know the rest of your life now, Nathan, though, whenever you hear, uh, beat it and you go, oh, you know

everybody knows that he van Halen does like a tar solo, but, you know, everybody knows that even Hound does that guitar solo, but do you know who the band is behind them? And then you get to sit back. Yeah. And then Alunatic in the room gets to go, whoof, whoof, I'll get you my pretty. Only the I get you my pretty is the thing that would have got the wolf never would have done it. I never would have gotten that. Yeah, start with wolf to me. It's wolf. You're going to win. win lasty air bud yeah uh uh uh uh uh

baha man which is impossible they weren't even fucking around that I was really excited to do the tornado do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do beaded either do we do we do we remember the video was eddie uh... van halen he had to ask van halen he didn't ask he actually just went and did it because he's not supposed to van halen you you weren't supposed to leave and do anything with anybody else but he just went down and did it with the whatever you fucking wants he's van halen that's also what you would do in the eighties

when michael jaxon asked to do a thing you go you go do it no he didn't know Michael j like, well, is this kid want me to do? Huh. He was like, what? Yeah, I'm gonna do this with this kid. I was making up new things. And then you know what actually is funny. Pink Floyd came in, but they refused to play the song.

Just sounds like real facts, doesn't it? It does, yeah, yeah. It's not though. There was one where Robert Plant was just gonna go, ah, and they took it out. Damn. A lot of people don't know this. Michael Jackson was the cop in the village people for three years.

Yeah, I did know that. I have heard that. Did you know that he did all the voices on police academy? It wasn't Michael Lindzl. I knew I heard a little bit about that. I heard that he also played Bobcat Goldthwaite for number three and five. That's true. Do you know in the movie moonwalker, it wasn't actually Michael Jackson. It was all of the Colken boys standing on each other's

shoulders and Michael Jackson costume. I just learned that one right now. Okay, did you jot it down? Did you know he used to bring young boys for sleepos and have sex with them to make them show the butts? You know, I really don't I don't believe this. No. I might be the last person. I watched that whole documentary, the fucking three and a half hour, four day fucking documentary. Sure. Which showed us, as soon as he died. Once he dies, the villain's gone. Why are we still doing this? But then I watched... Wait a minute, what? If you watch Friday the 13th, everybody's running from Jason for his, right? Jason for his dies. We

don't need another hour of them in the fucking woods camping this documentary they go for three hours and then like Michael died now I'm still living my life he's he's he's gone it's over as we I can watch uh... survivors of a Friday the 13th movie move on just just swimming what he just back to life again you just go back to your family goes that was a crazy trip uh... and you just go back to your family, that was a crazy trip. Wow, I hope we get a refund, mom, because that summer camp was fucked up. We lost the complete front end of this whole trip,

but the back end, we went camping, we had marshmallows, it was fun to, I would watch that too. It's another hour of y'all that for sure. Do you guys still wanna go, white water rafting? I don't think that documentary more than ever told me he for sure sucked on the but also the little yes so so i watched the documentary and i

i was huge michael jackson fan and i was like i still am me and me too but i just got a lot of it is like the pedophilia the guy went to trial once and died It is also pretty incredible that like all of the let's say he wants a pedophile all the things he had to do in his life to be a successful pedophile Fucking give it to him. I mean you got to learn how to dance like this You got to learn how to sing like this you got to learn how to do all this shit You got to build a fucking amusement park at your house. Yeah, That was Dan Adams, my favorite joke that he does. What?

When he goes, it was unfair, he's a pedophile. Yeah, he had rides. That's unfair. I mean, he'd pull up to a kid with a van, be like, hey, come on in the van, kid. You got rides? I'm not gonna suck you dick for a nowlada. That's such a great joke.

Don't you, That is how the, that's how the, that's how the, the one where he was like, uh, you know, it's Michael Jackson, he goes out, had to be blown away when these kids complain. He's like, you can in my house,

you had cakes and pies and foods from around the world. You've had a giraffe's and rhinoceros's, you roll roller coasters, everything you could do. And then, after all that, you get your dick sucked. I mean, that sounds like, and then he goes,

by the way, one of the fuckers, aren't you supposed to be dead? He's like, well, you're healthy there than ever. So, okay, so the first, I watched your documentary right, and I was like, okay, he did this, this man did this. This is 100%. There's no way you can describe opening your bum for somebody. That's a, that had to happen. Bob, do you remember when I opened my ass for you?

Yes, that happened. Do you remember this? God damn it. God damn it. I didn't think he was going to go with it. There's Quixie did. Oh, I will. If you're not going to shake Robert Kelly with that one.

Yeah, we, we, we, we, we pounded each other in front of the panda cage at somebody's house. But I watched a three hour documentary and I was like, okay, he did this. And then you what? There are, there, there's one story about that guy. He said he got molested in the fucking clock tower on the train station. But it didn't exist.

It wasn't there at the time that he said that he was, wouldn't you remember being blown by the king of pop in a clock tower? You remember the day, you remember the day. You might remember the day, but you might be mistaken of you know where it was I mean you get blown by Michael Jackson How do you forget where you get you know you don't forget getting fucking blown in this thing sure you do I do remember my first blow job was Valley Brook golf course What was his name?

Tim Valley broke off Tim. Valley brook. But you would remember getting sucked in this. Also, this is not how I wanted to tell people to go to grammar. I'm not trying to defend a dead fucking pen of my own. If he sucked, people he sucked people. You did do a job.

I think you're a terrorist. I think Jackson deserved to fuck children. Good for you, man. Grammacy, what's the date again? And he's got a special on YouTube. Yeah, good for you man. Grammacy. What's the day to get? And he's got a special on YouTube November 11th, I believe I'm saying it's a tough it's tough to get away with it for that many years. You know that's all of say He had he have to be very talented. No, he really did He padded the right hands for sure. I mean when he would send the parents the parents were the ones I hated most in

Documentary because they had no surprise where he was like He's like, hey, I'm gonna hang out with you boy today and send you guys on a one-way helicopter ride to the top of Mount Everest And he would always like, I mean we'll just go You said then we had to like walk back from Mount Everest. Oh, sorry, I thought you guys went to walk back Didn't she with the dad's killed kill themselves someone did someone's dad killed himself but let me ask it million dollar question Kill them Having Michael Jackson one of the dead kill themselves for sure having Michael Jackson

Jerk off while he looks at your but hole But it makes you a world class choreographer like Wade Robson did become world class choreographer choreographer to the stars pretty spears videos backstreet boy at the time of those that pop rock he was all over Wade Robson do you take the molesting yes that level oh level, there's more, I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, never mind, you answered my question already. Wait, two of Michael Jackson's victims, fathers both killed themselves. Yeah, yep.

Yeah, dude, I got molested and I didn't get candy. Hey, dude, listen, honestly, those fathers are weak. I agree with you, Nathan. Those fathers are weak minded. And Michael Jackson deserve to fuck their boys. Crammacy Grammysy. It's 730 show 730. A comedy festival 730 so older people can come also you can bring your kids 730 I think Kevin Brennan's opening field right Kevin Brennan's opening the big night

New York comedy fest really big They're going for it this year. What was any of your question? Would you take the man looking at your asshole and jerking off at you? For the career of a world class choreographer. You obviously said yes before the question was over. I'm sorry, just shot out of my mouth. What would you do to sell out twice at the Grammacy?

Which pop star would I let jerk off at me? Yeah, man? Maybe a couple of them for sure. Yeah, definitely at my open asshole. You're allowed to just But I'm over there. You're over here. Oh my god. That amount of money to take Is oddly low for me. There's a distance Yeah, I'll be over there. No, I agree with you the distance makes all of you know everyone's what's the millions suck a dick or blah blah blah to just Open my asshole while a guy jerks off behind me like over there, but even where Jacob's that I Mean it's not a lot of money now tongue-g'm not doing it. Hundreds of dollars? I mean thousands, I'm sorry. Thousands for sure.

$10. I'm gonna come in at what I'd say is a wacky number I go. You give me a half a million to do that, but you could talk me down the probably mid tens of thousands, maybe high for digit thousands. To simply spread my buttholes. I'm only doing much. I would do, I wouldn't even do money. I would be like it to simply spread my buttholes. Not only doing much. I would do, I wouldn't even do money.

I would be like, hey, can you get me one of those new MacBook 3M? Oh, I don't mind that. I don't mind that. I don't mind that at all. New MacBook Pro. Yeah. That's. Oh, I love that little suitcase and he just hands it to me after I open my asshole.

Yeah, I went on a nice case too. I don't know why I'm looking at you, Jacob, you're gonna set up this deal. Okay. Jacob, take right this down. Take a note for me. I want. I want the E16 inch, by the way, not the 14 inch. With AppleCare, you need AppleCare. Yeah, three, yeah, that's $2.99. Of three years of AppleCare.

Full coverage, don't fucking bullshit with me. If you get it at best by $1.99, they give you a deal. Look at this guy, look at what little choreography he was. This one he was a little boy. This isn't his prime, getting his butt looked at. You know that they all dress like him though. All the kids that hung out with him want to dress like him.

Can we ask this question? Now we're talking about people that dress just like him. What's his name? Corey. Oh God, don't even bring it up. Okay. I mean, do bring it up. Okay. I mean, do bring it up. All right. Because we're all about it. We're back. Yeah. I've been down. He sent me down this rabbit hole. Oh, yeah. This is a bear. This is a bear. The eight-year story

learn on the bonfire. Really? Corey Feldman. Yeah. Hates us. Oh hang on. Hates him. He does. He does. He hates me yet. I think he hates him. I think he hates him. He really has seemed to single me out. He hates you. What did you do? That's a couple people? What happened? There's a couple people that have singled you out of it really have is it me? I guess just being funny. I'm just being funny Corey film what we've made fun of I mean the dancing the singing Yeah, it's kind of a similar style of dance because we grew up dancing together Yeah, he also me because I brought his name up. He also claims that uh, that's a real cool play that again, Lou form

Yeah, it's kind of a similar style of dance because we grew up dancing together because it's sort of a similar style of dance because we grew up dancing together Oh, yeah, wow that's because we grew up dancing together. Oh yeah, wow. That's bat shit insane. Yeah, it's crazy. That's crazy. Well, that again, Michael Jackson, I think, is 15 years older than Corey Feldman.

Oh yeah. I grew up at a 15-year-old, though. You start, you're like, you're five, you're 15. I'll tell you. Well, especially if you're jerked off to 13 or buttholes. Yeah, you're hanging out together, then you start dancing. You're both on coming. You got to wait 10 minutes, 15 minutes. You start spinning around. You got to work back up. Yeah, you're hanging out together and then you start dancing. You're both on coming. You got to wait 10 minutes, 15 minutes. You start spinning around. You got to work back up. Yeah, you're

I like that. What you're doing? What's the footwork on this? This man you have the time probably exactly right. Yeah, but 10, I've come before. Yeah, about 10, 15 minutes and then you're back to do you know the wild thing? So Corey, it, oh yeah, Corey Feldman made a movie. Yes, about him and Corey Hame growing up together. And when Michael Jackson meets him for the first time, it's at the set of goonies,

because he came to Steven Spielberg to come meet the cast of the goonies and when he goes over, he goes, you want me to Michael Jackson? He's like, yeah, wow. And he goes, hey, wow. Michael Jackson's great to me. Where he goes, hey, Michael Jackson, he goes, call it Feldman.

I'm so excited to meet you. I'm a big fan of you. It's, he's insane. He's insane. It's not what happened in real life. That's how it tells the story. I love your Michael Jackson though. Yeah. I'm excited to meet you.

You're selling my grandma back. Yeah, you're gonna say, you're selling me a cigarette in your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, you Michael Jackson. Bobby, could you bring me some chocolate since I'm your friend? Yeah, PepsiCo, put my air in front.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a big dish of candy beside Michael's bed. But all I was gonna say is, you love that he got away with it. Good for you, man. He deserves it. November 11th at the Grammar C. Theater.

Cory Feldman. Absolutely. This is gonna be the Channing. Mac and Josh. Mac and Doug. He, we think it, he says it. Mac and Doug. Mac and Doug.

Cory Feldman made an entire documentary about agents and managers and shit, right? Do we know that documentary? I know. We had a viewing party. Did you actually? Yes. I thought it got shut down somewhere, right? It was like supposed to play in the... Well, I got shut down because he didn't purchase enough bandwidth to put it out there.

However, he tells you that spies and secret agents have been sent in. He's out of his tree. What if it's right though? What if this really did have a spot? There's a bunch of people called the wolf pack after him. It's I believe that they're not. There was a whole there was a whole they fucking ran W.C.W. for like two years and a 90s. Okay, as true they were disbanded when the when the outside of the back. They got back together though once the whole company folded. No for sure sure but then but then Nash uh... conens out there diesel

they got together and they're trying to stop corneville they're right fair enough the wolf back to get four life suck it suck it but he also in that document you don't talk about all these people but he never mentions uh...

he never mentions the good doctor michael jackson you know, it's just leave him out. Yes. And he says it didn't happen. However, this is how not credible. How the fuck did this happen? How the fuck are we here? This is, let me tell you, this is how crazy, um, Cory felmin is. That's the show in that, in that documentary, he says, Charlie Sheen but fucked Corey Hayme while a bunch of people watched

often. And the world went, shut up. After Charlie Sheen and all of his crazy shit he went through, this still when he said that, everyone was like, now Charlie Sheen was like, I don't know what he's talking about. That's crazy. I hope he gets the help he needs or whatever and just moves on. I mean, he's out of his true. I didn't believe any of this stuff until I heard Richard Pryor's son fucked Sam Kinnison in the ass. And then I'm like, I believe it all now. Okay.

What's next? This is the first time I'm hearing this. Oh, you never heard of that? No. Richard Pryor's son was on a podcast in LA where you have to say, a lie, a story that's a lie and a story of this truth. And he told two stories, one of the stories and a lie. Yeah, something like that. And he told one of the stories and one of them was that he

fucked Sam Kinnison in the ass. And they were like, well, that's the lie. He goes, no, that's the true one. And then they were like, what? He was like, he was like, Richard prior son. Richard prior son. Hello, Richie. Had sex with Sam Kinnis. How old would he have been? She was young. Seven eight.

He was not seven eight. Well, how the heck? Seven eight, that's a lie. He would have been like 15 maybe. He was a teenager, yeah. Nice. What the hell? No, it was a swing in 60s dog.

I don't know if you see, in the LA, if you're a comic, it's okay. It's totally. In LA. On the comedy you see in the LA if you're comic. It's okay. It's totally In LA on the comedy store table with all the key marks in it. Yeah, totally This is a real he says it's a real story. It's over believing this. This is a story that happened totally Oh, Richard prior and I think Paul Mooney yeah got no big fight because he fuck prior son too Back in the day. They just we need a Ouija board if the cab its son fuck Paul Rodriguez in the ass Like a million of these for the rest of the show Do you guys know any young men's son actually fucked

Gilbert God for you. Yes crazy time. That's a legend. That's allegedly allegedly. I Would tell you it's true. The only thing I'm finding is a red thread. It's it was a podcast I forget the name of the podcast at the comedy store. Oh, well then it was for to be funny Oh, well, then wait a second Oh, well, then wait a second. It was before podcasts. They didn't have mics. It would have been a fun time. Hi, fuck StarVros in the ass at MuguBee's one night.

It's a joke. Okay, come on. Oh, it was at the club. Oh, then Bobby, stop. Why don't even bother telling me the story, dude. I want to be bummed, though, wasn't there to see that? I would have, I have to be there for that one. Yeah.

Let's say there's no, like, uh, there it is. What's your prior heart six? Well, lipstick alley. That's him. No, that's him right there. That's his son. That's by our son. Talk to me right there. His son's JJ Walker. No, I know my. He looks like the duck from the king and the duck at the end of Whitman can't jump. But he was only a drug addict they gave me drugs and all that kind of stuff in alcohol. I bet he wears double knee braces when he does anything athletic.

So it wasn't a good relationship in that aspect. But it was a, I needed that at the time for someone who likes, I'm going to take care of you, you know, because you're kinda out here on your own, I wanna be there for you, and he was that person. Did you guys click or speak about religion because he has a, he was a pastor. Yeah, he did.

Well, we actually did briefly, but when we came in, we were in a way. Yeah, we didn't have, man, we should, I guess we didn't know how religious Sam can listen was. He was a former pastor. That comes with them. I think, and I'll support this when you said this really or anything, if you're a pastor or a man of God,

you have to have sex with children. I think I'm by that. I just wanna clarify. I just wanna clarify. The number 11, I just wanna clarify, I said that off camera and I meant to say, I meant to open with that on camera. So that'd be right back there.

Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, stand behind that. I stand behind you. I meant to open with that on camera. Yeah, yeah, that. Jerk off to the side. Ha ha ha. Well, while it is being queued, just before the break, it was curious. You were talking about a $30,000 boob job over a $10,000 boob job. No, I don't know how much a boob job is now, but when my wife got it back in the day, it was a $10,000,

moving on $10,000 for a boob job. Ladies, if you're out there listening, what would they send to TJ? Could, what's our email? If we have some send something. The Bonfire SXM. The Bonfire SXM, the Bonfire SXM, the Gmail, send a picture, your TIT job.

Tell us how much it costs. Yeah, let us know the going rate for a TIT job right now. And you want to call it 866-969-1969. We need to know the going rate. I say, you can know the go on rate for a titch job right now and you want to call it 866 969 1969 we need to know the going rate I say you can text a picture Christine. I'll give out Christine's home number right now It's a 917 to no kidding I just got one. I think it was like 12,000. I think it didn't go up I think I think it became either stayed the same a might have got a little cheaper in certain places in So affordable for I heard they went down like the price of TVs. Yeah, they went either stayed the same a might have got a little cheaper in certain places in so affordable i heard they went down like the price of tv

christine christine the so affordable why do you still sink in pools uh... shit uh... dr newman the pheser twelve Okay. Uh, Dr. Newman, the fees are 12, uh, 12,500 to 15,500. Yeah. Um, well, I mean, it's not 30,000. Black, you get interdated with calls and emails from people setting in pictures as their

tits. It's been seconds. It's been seconds since I gave them the email. How long does it take to take this picture of your tits and tell us how much you should eat boob job cost? Mm-hmm. I could see you'd never get a boob job, right? I mean, never say never, baby.

Come on, I like to hear that. Wait, what? Never? I'd rather get light-over than a boob job. But where are you gonna put the, what are you gonna do with the? Yeah, I must take that fact. Might as well take that part.

Put it back in, repurpose it. Put it in another place. Take that haurposing put it in other places take that haunch throw it in your tita's just have fat tits like mantids just get a sloppy pair of fat tits joderosa tits yeah you're gonna go get a boom job but to make really ugly booze just saggers that go in your armpit when you lay down. Everything bad about Big Tits. Can I get the waffle house, Tits? Yeah.

I want to have you and uncomfortable on your back. You have to wear unflattering bras just to hold them out of the way. Yeah, get afternoon stripper tits. I want the fucking tiger claws on them. Ah, the tiger claws. Go, just play this guy. OK, it's like right here where he says it.

Okay. I know he was in there. Anything that was bad, anything that people thought was bad he wanted to do. Like, you mean, like, sleep with a black dude or something? What? Yeah, that was one of our things. So, when you say a thing that people thought was bad was the sleeper would have do What do you do to do to what a dude back?

Do you know anything about that? Well, yeah cuz I'm the dude you're the dude. Yeah, you and Sam Yeah Yeah, send a book It was just a man. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the coke. Thank you for this. Okay In the book If this interview wasn't taking place in the hallway of a hotel I Might take it seriously and if he wasn't selling a book this guy didn't fuck Sam Kinnison why you buy why he's saying that he's a child who fucked Sam Kinnison for co-samp. That sounds crazy. He's saying he fucked it. He sounds nuts.

Oh, I'm sorry. Does that sound crazy to you? It's the Sunset Strip in the 80s. Oh, okay. I didn't realize this geek doesn't party. He's saying, hey, they are from Canada. Yeah. Yeah, they don't do that in Canada.

You can't wait till Max turns 15 and you can fuck me in the butt. Wait a minute. What? You don't fucking max. No, no, no, no, no. He'll be fucking me. Oh, no, no, no, no, he's not gonna fucking set. Do you see that?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm not gonna fuck you. Yeah, I wasted on me. I'm not letting a fuck the guy who went on the guy's cruise. Don't fuck that stowa. Yeah, man. You gotta bang the big dogs. Yeah, man. Fuck Sebastian. Yeah. On Nate. Yeah, yeah, fuck Nate.

Yeah, fuck Nate. That's fucking hilarious. You never play that. And it goes, yeah, my son fucked a comic. Can you say the comic? And they go, oh. No, he was like. He was like, he was like, he and they go who? Now he was like

It's a scene guy made the Bob and Tom a few times. It doesn't mean the guy who plays Uncle Vinnie's On Wednesdays Yeah, yeah, no, but he was like he was a comics comic this Yeah, man, he's a graphic at all spit my duke you hole And I got have his way I love the jesus voice I bought coke one time to like share with everybody. He my bag was a little he's like put it away and he's like put it away. Get that little sit out here. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

My impression was better than that. Way better. Fuck my butt. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. The interviewer's terrible. So what's the thing? He's the terrible. Well, he's the manager of a holiday

and forgot to take care of the interviewer. He's supposed to be a good interviewer. Now, if you don't mind, I have to go outside and ask people if I can have the end of their cigarettes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Think him in a cigarette and I'll tell you a story You know what it ain't man thought but alright free tobacco free tobacco There's lipstick on the end of this Mines me at the time I got lipstick on my dick It was from Paul Mooney Judy Tannuda walks in Pits down her accordion and start slipping up on my shit

Down her accordion and start slipping up on my shit. I tell you one thing that Judy Tanuda goes suck a tennis ball through a fucking muffler. Not as good as Rito Rutner, but she could damn do a good job. Now I know they say Paula Pants don't like the ladies, but I'll tell you what, she'll look anything you put cocaine on. Paula Pants don something like a tomatoes. Ah! Oh, shit. No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no but he knows magic the carrot top don't match the carrot bottom if you know what I'm saying. Oh, Christine, can you show me some patchy shirt shirts?

Oh, good. And this is another one, Mollum Brando and Richard Pryor fucked. I mean, all bets are off now. I believe everything... You think Jamie Foxx is having swing dick parties at his house? I thought that... That Hollywood elite corrupts, huh? It just gets you in a weird place.

Well, I'm learning a lot of things here. Jimmy Fox says parties were men just fuck. A P Diddy. They play sports first. P Diddy, maybe. Naked basketball. Allegedly, they play a naked basketball with the big dick swinging.

That's not even, that's horrible. That's absolutely terrible. I think they just, they they have party, dude. What, did you watch the thing today that, uh, or on Jimmy Kimmel a couple days ago, P Diddy, he has P Diddy, he goes, didn't you actually, didn't, you and Will Smith have a thing one time? Cause like you and JLo, or no, you had a problem

because J to, Pinkett and Will Smith proposition JLo for a threesome. And he got, no, is that what it was? And he wanted to get an argument with him and P. Did he was like, what? He was like, uh, Jimmy's I thought you were my friend, man, he really gives away like it sounds like a real story, which isn't like a too crazy thing, but I'm just saying again, you just don't think of it a scenario where

J. Lowe's got to be like, hey, I'm trying to, they talk to me for a minute because I Will Smith and Jamie make it keep trying to take me home for a three-some pretty wild. So I think it gets pretty dark up in that world. I'll do it up in those hands. You ever go hang out with somebody who has a house up there? Mark Marin. Not, that's a garage.

Well, those were Jamie's parties. I heard were pretty legendary. Well, that that's a I said legendary, but yes Yeah, I Mean, that's pretty legendary. It's probably a lot of people's like if you get a party and you go home like how would you even process you were like My friends like an assistant for this guy and then we weren't there's like Jamie Foxx was fucking like Tom Cruise in the ass and something was there and there's a live tiger. Weird Hollywood should. You have to have a live tiger to distract you from what the fuck's going on. Oh here's the thing. Yeah this is a p-dicklet. You sure? Yeah I just kid it. Okay Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah. Hey speaking of love. This is love. I saw a guy on

internet the other day who said he used to be your security guard who said that when you were dating J.Lo, Will Smith and Jada tried to pick her up on a threesome and you were going to beat up Will Smith. Is that true? No, this show has gotten crazy since the last time I have a few things. No, it's all about love, though. That's not true. You really heard that? No. Yeah, yeah, I watched it on the internet.

You're telling me I can't believe everything I read? What? I don't know what you're talking about. See at the end there, he was convincingly saying like, no, you're just hearing weird stuff. When that, I don't know what you're talking about, was a real like, he wanted to also know, yeah, we did almost have a problem for that. I saw this full interview earlier too and he gets into how he used to fuck Sam Kinnison when he was 10.

Whoa, that's true. Man, this show has changed since last time. He did, he was on it But yeah, they see P did he has naked basketball games at his house all-dude nude basketball games uncomfortable, right? Even if you're gay even if you want to have sex with men that's you have no shoes your dick is out You're playing basketball. I think I'm sure they've Nice issues. Yeah, that naked, but they got you. I mean look, it's just you know shirts, you know, or you know, skins and skins, it's skin all the way down. Yeah, and shoes, yeah.

Bobby. Yeah, what's up? Speaking of, do you think we have enough money to pull? Because Big Jim will get behind it if we get the money to get a franchise of buns and basketball team. I couldn't get Dan's super behind this idea, but I still stay behind. Can you explain it to me a little of buns and basketball team i couldn't get dan super behind this idea but i still still still behind you explain it to me a little bit before i get behind it bans and basketballs of america's uh... favorite sporting event where uh...

anywhere from thick to morbidly obese ethnic women play uh... basketball in thong underwear and tank tops. But if you think there's no actual like rough and tumble sports going on here, one of these fat ladies broke her leg the other day playing buns and basketball. It went down hard. It's one of the grossest breaks I've ever seen. Am I making throw up? Oh God. Is this a real thing? Buns and basketball. Yeah. Yeah, it's a very real thing I'd like to get a franchise. I think it all happens in Atlanta, but there's no one to stop us from

So it'll be a farming out of team and bring them down team. Yeah, it would be only if we make Jacob the coach Absolutely Jacob. This is a real thing. Yeah, Bonson basketball I want I want Jacob on the sidelines yelling with a clipboard basketball. I want I want Jacob on the sidelines yelling with a clipboard. Now I'll tell you what here's what's going on in the sport Nathan. None of these girls are good. They're all buns. They're no basketball. I'm talking about showing up with some real heat. Look I want to go on there and school these fatsoes with some girls who want no buns all basketball they get a buns I'm expecting an intermediate amount of buns there's more people here than a WNBA game you're right this fucking crazy well because the

WNBA games all basketball and lies we said no buns no boobs no buns wow kind of hot Christine can you get to I'm telling you she's what I bet it smells not good in there The why is it not wetty ass crack? Yeah, but they shower No, no, they're not showering it listen Do you think it would smell good if NBA players and had their fucking balls just out? No, no, no Is that league that so that only happens at Jamie Foxx's house he he should televised he really should be this house This is this is in Atlanta. No, this I know but he should do balls and basketball where all the famous fucking people just nuts. Just nuts. Just nuts. I'll do that. Let's do that. Yeah, just your bag out. Nothing but traveling. No, I want the bag split down the middle like a thong. Yes, separated. Yeah, we're gonna play. We're gonna be like the Jerry bus of this thing right we're gonna be in the background just making moves We're gonna be up having cheese sticks up in the luxury VIP booth, but I'd like to while we're ripping into a T-bone I'd like to send them in and they all come in present their dicks to us when we start picking like no

No, send that guy to Seattle That one goes to DC and we just start breaking up teams, but That one goes to DC and we just start breaking up teams. But a bun's in basketball, I think, do you have the leg break? Oh, no, I can't watch that. No, you wanna see it, it's great. I can't. No, but you need to.

But honestly, you should check it out. But I will fucking die. Okay, I'll describe it to you as it happens. Okay, just describe it. Bobby, there's buns. She's drivout a basketball. Oh, yes. And then she's fat and just breaks her

right. Oh, Jay. What? Jay. No, no, Jay. She tried to cross her over. She wasn't ready. I would rather watch Michael Jackson eat a kid's ass out. Okay. We have that video next. Are these guaranteed contracts and buns in basketball or not? That's terrible. I'm gonna tell you, I think the back into this girl's deal is gonna fuck her. Please tell me you didn't get that clean. I sounded dirty to me. Oh, no, you know what I mean.

Losing your sponsorship. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, fuck. There's just too much weight on the little baby foot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, for sure, too much weight. Too much fun on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no for sure too much But too much bond on the foot well look you know, here's the problem the problem is now They go for style with the sneakers and they're not going for the support

Yeah, but there's no support with that big of a bun on that little tiny calf The only break I've heard of so far happening in Bunsen bed in all of the five years or so of Bunsen basketballs the only injury I've heard There are also the new Nike Bun supporters that that are made specifically for this type of Sick right hugs underneath the S. I've seen these in the airports. Yeah, like a like a back brace Black lose totally on the idea for sure What's the day? I want black Lou to be an assistant coach, but like a a hyper aggressive one i mean i want him like really yelling and screaming what's the name of your team i don't know that's what's gonna be the fun the the the fire buns

mhm the bonfire buns the bun fires the bombshell fires the bombshell fires the bonfires the bonfires the bonfires the answer bonfires the bonfires we The bonfires. We worked it out. We workshopped it live on air. The bonfires. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for your hometown team. The bonfire. You're starting center coming in at five foot 675 pounds from around the way it's Tameca Tameca is currently involved in a pretty serious child support lawsuit and she's looking to make ends meet. She's been on three episodes of Cheaters and she's not afraid to throw a punch in the screen world star makes some noise for your MVP

we only know her as Feefe Feefe do they have great names? remember when they was at the XFL they used to have great names he hate me he hate me and he ate me too. You know, he ate me, went to the NFL. Oh yeah.

That guy ended up being like, I went to the Super Bowl of the XFL. Did you really? And I actually was sitting and Vince and Stephanie and the rock came out and I actually like set high to them. And what did they say? No, maybe it was in the rock. Maybe it was, no triple H. Maybe it was triple H, Vince and Stephanie. They were just like, hi to them. And uh, what did they say? No, maybe it was in the rock. Maybe it was, no triple age.

Maybe it was triple age, vents and stuff. And they were just like, hi, they were cool. Yeah, you don't remember if it was the rock you met or triple age. I think I said, where's the rock at that moment? It's a fun thing to say to three people. You just meet. I payed out for you.

Yeah. Oh, you know me. I'm awful with famous people. I would have been like, where's hope? What's hillbilly Jim like? What Duke the dumpster where's he at? Get him out here. It was awful, but they were that was a great. I love that game Why do you guys ever let Ted our CD be a character? Why'd you make them always be Ted our CD?

Can you smell when I'm cooking Vince? I said can you smell? cookin vents. I said, can you smell? What are you looking? Hey, Vince, you like the NFF? It doesn't matter what you like. What? Dead. The Super Bowl, the XFL. What was that called? The X Bowl. It was in the, it was in LA at the, wherever the fuck the, the, the call see him. It was called the X Bowl. I don't know what it's called. I didn't know they got to a champion. Yeah, they did.

Neither. It was kind of, it was, uh, it wasn't even packed. It was kind of, it was kind of sad, but it was honest. Shit. Cause they used to kick the ball and they have to go chase it to, to, to who got the ball first, I believe. The rules were incredible. I was called spear the queer one.

I was younger. I don't even remember that. Kill the cow. That was what you had to tell your parents. That's what they changed you to and no, sorry. Yeah, no, you're right. That's what they changed you for that reason. Yeah. When it was called spear the queer by the way, none of us ever thought that the idea was like attack a gay part. It was never it. You know, I mean, it was just like whoever had the ball. Yeah, everyone just tries to tackle. No one ever thought it. I guess it was pretty heartless. It was heartless.

It was a different time, you know, the kids were banging Sam Kinnison in the ass and you could just chase down a better time. A better time. Nathan McIntosh, everybody. Seven, a better time. Yeah, man. McIntosh.

McIntosh. Grammously. What was it, would they? No, no, no, no, no, but Mac and Josh Grammously, was it with me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Sam, get us it. Half-stand of comedy. Half propaganda. He's gonna be spitting some pretty unpopular opinions by the end. But he'll make you laugh in between. But I hope you've got a stomach for the laughs because it's coming. Sponsored by the bun fires, Prince of Asciples, newest franchise. sponsored by the bun fires put some basketballs new friends bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap

y'all ready for this, dinner? oh my leg! oh, Mr. Kelly, my leg broken! you ain't giving me no safety equipment! we're playing in kids! wise max keeps sneaking in all dressing room? He ain't looking for basketball. He looking for buns.

We have to talk about that. Maybe not today, but maybe another day. I had to talk about Max last night. How do you tease that? We're going to tease it. We'll give it a nice tease. That's what I'll tell you this. When it comes out, when Bobby decides to tell the story, it's, I want to know this story.

Monday, Monday, Monday. Monday, tune in Monday. If you listen to this anywhere else, you got to get serious. Get the app, because Monday. Yeah, Bobby's going to be, Bobby's going to be like pretty Lucy Goose. We're going to go to Isaiah. He's gonna be like pretty Lucy Goose. We're gonna go to Isaiah. He's gonna get his face touched up.

We're doing Beards Monday. We're gonna do Monday. And I'm going first, because I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get, you wanna fresh. I want fresh Isaiah. Yeah. I want fresh, I don't want after Isaiah. I want fresh.

Fresh. I see how we go with two, so we can really take our time with this. I'm not even gonna shave this weekend. I'm gonna do my head. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Does he do chest? I wonder if he does nipples. I see a come here.

Did you do ball bags? And you do large bags, I say. It's 640. What's up, Jacob? Talk to me. 640, 20 minutes to the hour. I'll get. What's up, buddy? What do you got? Because I'm reading Lewis's note on the run down 20 minutes to the air. Oh, good. What's that, buddy?

What do you got? Because I'm reading Lewis's note on the rundown, and this is the story, says, and it makes no sense, unless she's terminal. Michigan woman chooses between lottery prizes, 25K a month for life, or 390,000 one-time payout. What would you do? Isn't that four years? Is she dying? It's more than four years. Well, 25,000 a month. That's not even. Yeah, it's not even for yeah, of course you do 25,000 a month for life. Yeah, 25,000 a month covers everything. But what is this one time? No, it was good

We had one minute for a subject so that worked out. I do want to know. We got all the answer that's super quick. The obvious, 25,000. 25,000 months. It's an obvious answer unless I got it completely wrong. No, that would be the one to pick. It's going to be 390 million, not a thousand.

The came is wrong. Oh, is it a million? It's not a came. No, it's a came, it can't be million. It's a million. It's got to be thousand see what the sea with the article actually is But a lot of people would see the bigger number and just fucking pick that one but it's not me I know your show is edgy, but you don't have to swear you have to pick You have to you have to know the grimmest he's gonna be nuts

Well, you have to pick that and then like Dart to the office and not have anyone cross your your path, you might go, wait, you're doing what? No, no, wait, think about that for a second. Like, no one else would have said that in their lives. I can't be 390K. It has to be million. But it is. Look, it is. Where? The man he's saying that's 390K. I know, but he could be wrong. It's a Lou, 25,000. The man in the box. The man in the magic box there.

No, it's 390K. Yeah, it sounds that ridiculous, but people were putting up a debate about it, saying that they would take the 390K because you don't know what can happen to you tomorrow. Well, they're all malicious out there, Michigan. Do they don't need our paper money? What does that mean to them?

They're sovereign. Yeah, but here's a $25,000 every month is three, it's $300,000 in one year then. Yeah, who's got that nice on there? These dumbasses would rather take a one-time payout. Yeah, stupid. I mean, what do you, what do you, if you don't get dead?

Yeah, with 391K one time, dude, think about this. You could buy probably 300,000 fully punched red lobster cards and then sell those. Now your money's making money. That's why you're absolutely right. Michigan lottery. $25,000 a year early. Oh, not a month. That does change everything. It's a whole deal. I take that. Now I take the $390,elt for sure I want to work in lawful house or have 390 thousand dollars I take the 390 I buy three tiny homes And then I rent them out. All right, we do what's gonna rent your tiny house No, no that you'd rent it. I would rent it You'd rent it if this tiny house is a rock and then help hold either side of it

It's gonna flip over I'm only gonna do one as a rental the other two Gonna be fuckhots out in the wooden hamper I like the cells that I Look at look at take up going crazy does breaky fists. Oh, we're gonna take a break I was gonna call you miss it We'll be a Grammyssey theater as part of the New York comedy festival November 11 7 30. It's gonna be a wild night While he's saying it Jackson got everything he wanted in life and deserved nothing less at Nathan Macintosh on everything so to me Yeah, he's got a special right now. My name never wakes is

Streaming right now on YouTube so go check that out and go see his wild night of comedy big Geocherson You're gonna be everywhere right you're going to Cobb wild night of comedy, Big J. Ocusen, you're gonna be everywhere, right? You're going to Cobb and San Francisco, which I love rock. It's a rock club in San Francisco. The fourth and the fifth and you're going to be in Milwaukee, Philadelphia, Cleveland, Houston for tickets. Go to bigjcomedy.com. And Bobby's doing comics come home, everybody in Boston, his home on November

4th after that Potstown PA, Baltimore, that's a real dip down now. Boston, the Potstown. He's coming home. They go in that Potstown PA Baltimore has a real dip down though. Boston the Potstown. He's coming home, they going to Potstown. Yeah, Potstown. You know, a suburb of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia. Baltimore, Dania Beach? Yeah. I think I nailed it.

And Saratoga Springs, which is an awesome, awesome place. For tickets and all tour dates, go to robbercallylive.com, treat yourself. See Robert Live. It's this yourself. See, robber live. It's this shit. Uh... We're all very funny. We're all so funny.

Give the three of us are like, fucking funny. Yeah. I'll say it. I'm not afraid. We gotta take a break if we want our Jacobs gonna shit himself. It's the bottom five. We'll be back. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show.

If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you