The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sexy Cowboys (feat. Michael Che)

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

That Damn Michael Che joins the Bonfire and admits to wearing crocs in public, which have become oddly fashionable.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.comStream That Damn Michael Che on HBO Max @chethinks#CrackleCrackle

Hey, it's Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Welcome to the Bonfire podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. You want more bonfire. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. You can go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special three month offer. Welcome back to the bonfire. I'm Dan Soder. That's Big J. Okerson. Joining us, a friend that we haven't had on the show in 2DAM long, because it's that damn Michael Che streaming now. Welcome to the show, Michael Che. Welcome back to the show. Hi guys, I'm Mr. Guys. So much, man. Che, before the break, we were talking about the HBO documentary about opiates. I was on HBO Max too, but I was watching your show. But that's me. I'm a different kind of friend.

Dan was checking that crime in the century. I was worried about the opiate crisis that's ravaging. I personally didn't have a chance to catch the crime in the century thing you saw kind of about. We have a whole season finale about the opioid-channel crisis. Now we on a very special Michael, you like HBO Max? Do you like like the NFL and stuff?

HBO Max? Yeah. Oh, Jacob saying no. Jacob says no. Jacob hates it. Jacob will come right with it. interface blows. Jacob hates it Jacob will come right with it interface blows Asking me a lot of my thing where he's just like Jacob came with hard notes immediately You think I want to dress like make my gatsy for real Jacob thought you had a head injury like Charles and Charles and charge and your new personality

So how about that Michael Chay's like I can't fucking find it He goes and watch it if you can navigate the goddamn thing love to find out he's your time firing in the wire season three which sweatshop they designed this goddamn thing in but throw it away I Find age I find HBO Max to be a lovely platform. I Couldn't enjoy it more It's honestly just a choice of so much wonderful program. Hey Jacob, can we talk to you? As soon as he started asking you. Oh, what's up with that? You know, as soon as Jake, as soon as he started asking, Jacob was already gone like been waiting for this moment. I'm not even gonna say I'm gonna take

Che out of the equation and say, hey, Jacob, you're gonna catch me heat with HBO. What do you do? What are you doing guy? You think I don't want to do another special again just over here's shitting on the room to face? Hey, Mike. You got the ear the head over there because I got a couple of things. I'd like to tell him hey Also got some notes for Lauren. I'm gonna send you back with them. Where's dream on yeah, why is dream on that on there? There's no tips on HBO Max. Ticks on my mind HBO Max Dream on That was 11 once yeah, I think that was right and Che and I were the same age. It was our wheelhouse of jerking off the soft core. It was like dream on for me at least to me at that age.

It was for my age, it would be watch those titties to get worked up and then go pound to a magazine. Yeah. It's pretty good. You get a good night of saying, you know, you that's like finally in the gutter. We would literally find magazines in the gutter. I think like people throw away their old porn collection. Yeah. What? That's the gutter. Yeah. No, I had to put the porn that smelled like creek, but I

will, but also, but also my buddy, my buddy John, that was huge. He got a job when we were young. He was like 17, so I was like two years old, so I was like 15. And at 15 years old, he had a job, he worked at a new stand. And when they would get rid of the old porn magazines to get the new ones in, they would just put him in a box and like, who gives this shit with him? He would bring me home like a satchel.

I mean, I had so many that eventually it rained pornography on my mother because she touched the wrong box and it just hundreds of porn magazines. How many times who had that made homeless men's days when they're like, what's in this old box? Holy shit! Yeah, just a grail. Oh my God, I just found a vein of snatch.

Look at this vein. Woo! Dude, the thought of Che is a young kid God I just found a vein is snack Dude the thought of Che is a young kid mining for porn in a fucking gutter being like oh Like a video game like you know you go to a video game you just take one weird right turn and it's a Point not a good or a porn, and maybe coins. Yeah, that's this for her. I'm so sorry, you're part of porn. It was a lot easier to get like a porn on tape for that older brothers. And they would always have like an unmarked,

if you ever found an unmarked tape in my house, you press play on it just to see what it's like. Either it's gonna be porn. Yeah, porn or security footage. You're like, I don't know what this could be. I'll never forget. I think I told you, man, my buddy Frank Frank I think as a family now lives in Puerto Rico Frank up Shaw you met Frank before right? I don't know big black dude. He used to make

If you barred porn from him. He did porn like on VHS like a wizard I mean he had them labeled what they and he made his own compilations what I mean It wasn't just on mixed tapes. He made his own mix tapes. So it was like it was like his like Frank's best asses. And it was like and I got to be honest like that guy must have been reading my diary because everything he said I agreed with all those headlines were we're we're preaching the right word. What a way to come out with your own brand of other people's porn. I'm like, oh, you know, it's Danny Double D February.

So it's all big tips. On a dying medium. On a dying medium. DVD was out already, but you also would still have a VCR in the house. It was that time. Like, you got a DVD player if you had a little bit of money. But VHS was still going strong. It is a nice nostalgia. There's no jerk quite like a VCR cassette jerk.

Yeah. You know what it is? It's a labor of love. You have to really watch and rewind. Yeah, the warm hum of the rewind. Oh, that's nice. Watching the clothes go back on, and then quickly go back. Also, how many times does the next thing is just a little white noise? Yeah, it's just the feed going, and then the cum coming off a lady.

This might be our age difference too, but did you ever, sometimes you would just find these porn tapes, you'd get them from somewhere, and they were like 15 minute long videos. They made the heads on them really big. Instead of the normal size heads on VHS, they were like 15 minute long videos. They made the heads on them really big. Instead of the normal size heads on VHS, they were like huge.

And there was only a very little bit of tape. But man, in that 15 minute, I knew for sure where my marks were. Do you know what I mean? It's like, it's just trailers or little like, bump, you know, little like half scenes or something they would show. Just sell Dildos a lot over the phone.

That's what I learned. What I learned from porn tapes was there was a lot of 1,800 numbers selling dildos. Really? Remember, it would always be like, we'd put in a tape that you didn't know, and then you'd play this game of like, is it a horror movie or a porn?

No, because I always started kind of the same. I always looked a little the same. It'd be like some lady alone in a suburban house. Yeah. You need to go get killed or something real cool is going to happen. And if just titties come out, it's meaning it's still worthless to the side. Still nobody's getting. Still looking. You really got to see a dick or a clit before you know what you're dealing with. There's no, there's, they got the no horror, no horror. There's no, they got the no-hor, no-hor.

Titties like wait for it, wait for it, killer clowns. All right, there we go. Yeah, the porn that I always had like a vivid tapes that my friend would tape off spice where they would put vivid porn but the soft core ones. So that was like one of the first tapes that I got where my friend was like, I'm done with this and I was like, please, please, because that was was an only child so getting porn in the house had to come from outside

Donation maybe I grew up pervy, dude, but you like the passing around of soft core pornography Would never I just Can get man now if somebody was like hey you want this Video of skin-and-max movies. I'm like no, mean, if we're trading a video, this needs to be hardcore pornography. Yeah, but I was in 13 or something. I have to be straight up baseline, no sex of phone. Yeah, I fuck you guys. Yeah, fuck you guys.

I'm in bird back in the day. Did I? No, I know what Robin Bird was though, but I didn't have it in Philly now. Oh, it's like I'm pushing up soft core because you could watch like strippers. It was like how it started, but just strippers. Yeah, lady now just stripper. And she would interview other strippers and strippers with dance. No, she was actually, hey, well, access.

She was a porn star, Robin Bird. I didn't know that. I never seen her porn. She was in like one of the most films either. Deep throat or Debbie does that. I Debbie does Dallas actually she does actual like porn That movie, but she was crazy looking by the time she was doing public access Yeah, she was crazy looking she was not That's why New York kids are always so much more mature because they were just like growing up with fucking you guys had Robin bird like blues clues You're just like oh look at this guy shaking his cock on the TV and me. I was like a lady's boobs at 11

I was like I should go that's rub my weener. That's why I didn't like the movie kids even being in Philly where I was like the movie kids seem like she's just terrifying Like you know, I mean I grew up in a neighborhood. There was like the movie kids seem like just terrifying. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I grew up in a neighborhood that was like relatively rough shit going on. Like, everyone's like parents were still like new where they were. It wasn't just a bunch of like skateboard kids at two in the morning out. And do all weird stuff.

I'm like, that's bad people. Kids was like rich kids though. Like that was like Manhattan and kids. That was like, what was really fucking happening. That wasn't. No, but I'm saying, but just like the fact that they were just like loot these kids just like loose all the time. It wasn't so much like their behavior was like,

what was going on around them? And they just seemed so young to me. I was like, oh, what they could do around? Yeah. Like, yeah, that's literally how New York, but you know, that was that was up until about, I'd say 2000. I think the towers ruined all of our innocence.

Yeah, hours came down here like, all right, guys, no more kids just hanging out. Get kids off the street. Well, you grew up in New York, so you watched a lot more stuff than I've only, I've been here 20 years, I guess almost, but like, I don't remember like a knot, like Disney time. I don't remember Times Square ever being like a scary place to go. It was always big and lit up. Yeah, you know, it's a just I mean, times ago it was always kind of big and lit up,

but there was like a time. I remember as a kid, the further you went west in midtown, the way where it's even that was like the case 20 years ago, like the fucking lemon fab in you and West. I would have there was like prostitutes and shit over there. Wasn't there when you? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, Keith Robinson called one over because he wanted to prove to me that it was a a tranny. We're trans. Yeah he was like he goes every goes he goes

yeah you like that girl right there and I was like yeah she's pretty for hookers. It's a dude. Oh man. Made a made a come over. dude. Are you a guy? She goes chicks with Dicks, baby Yeah, dude the young an X-rated I don't know we're quoting the chick with dick said it to me and also we're quoting it from 2001 So you really can't oh, yeah, yeah, this is like Lincoln Lincoln Park Lincoln Park was dropping new hits Yeah, it was different time. It's time. It's breaking stuff. It was awesome. We need to do the adventures of young Keith Robinson. It's just like an animated show or is like, I'll tell you right now that's definitely a check

for the day. It's just driving J around Philly. You know, it's funny. It was said by the times changing. This was something we brought up very early in the show show but I said I wanted to bring it up with you too is like watching musicians as they get older or even just their work matures like how different the view of like teenage rebellion is and sometimes they still have to play these songs do you know I mean so I was saying like it's like you know Nirvana like they're all dead now so they don't have to do those songs anymore. Yeah, one of them dead. I know, but if it is, if Dave Grohl was like singing the words of smells like teen spirit, you'd be like, all right, Gramps. Yeah, it was like, you know, pardon me, was singing, she was just 17 and you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, we can't do that. You can't do that any more. By the way, also Paul McCartney wouldn't fuck that chick now. Whatever age she is now, he wouldn't fuck her. Now she's too old. I mean, there has to be a ton of examples of them changing their lyrics because of their age. Just because singing it out loud, they're like, oh, shit, I don't know if I can do that.

But just the idea, we said like, you know, of like, just like poison songs. There's like hair metal songs. They're just like, your shit, I don't know if I could do that. But just the idea, we said like, you know, like, just like poison songs. Like, hair metal songs. They're just like, your mom doesn't understand. It was even a little weird. Seeing like guns and rows, it's like, Axel Rose looks like a goddamn like a cat lady. He's singing like, welcome to the jungle.

But this song about like, showing up in LA is a fresh face, whatever. And like, he's been like an old lady, Diva for the last 30 years. Yeah, now his face is just scary that singing at you. Yeah, it looks like it hurts like his eyes are gonna start to bleed. Hey, hey, I'm sorry, our guns and roses gonna be on the premiere episode of next SNL. He's like, I shit, I can't say.

Has there been any famous people that you've seen that we're young, that we're cool as shit, that now you see them with facial work, and you're like, oh, fuck. Oh, man, I'm not good with facial work. I'll just be like, this guy is something with Bruce Springsteen sick. I don't know. I don't know like facial work I don't like like Mark Mark Vory. He said to blow your guys minds. Yeah Yeah, we said turtle being yeah, we said turtle Person on a person that's seeing someone in person that has facial surgery that you notice when it happens

Yeah, they're like hey, and you're like, what's up? It's like a fucking weird thing. We're like, what's going on? Yeah, what did you do? What did you do to your face? Remember the lead singer of Molly Crew did like VH1 special him getting a fucking face list. It's the grossest thing ever.

And then he just shows him performing with his wacky new face like his eyes never he can't blink And he's just like performing songs What's that? Would you I mean I feel bad man because a lot of those guys They just want to be and it's like what what angel you going for because you're not going for 20 That's just like real is that's crazy. I may be so what are you trying to get back to you? Don't look so you just look like a weird 65 or but also like how not like part of like the rock and roll thing that I thought I would envy

Is like the not giving a shit as you got older and just kind of aging and to be in like some old grizzled fucking dude or Maybe you clean up or whatever, but yeah, to be a person that also cares about like, you know if you're Like you're if you're starting to get like wrinkle lines from laughing or something to care about that is very not rock and roll or like Like awesome or like he's like does Keith Richards at work because I feel like he's doing it right now I think he's just letting all the wrinkles take over his whole body i think that's good like it i want to a big pop i want to just yeah do you want to i want to get like spooky old not sexy old yeah i want kids to be afraid to get their ball back from here i want crack

i want weird cracks off of cracks in like yeah i want sunken lines i want like a fucking bass and hound mouth words Just like a good I want a good smell a good Muffy smell like yeah And these people I've seen especially like Scottsdale that they're really trying to be sexy and they're all fucking plastic And then they got like the rock tits So those are the rock tits are the worst

Yeah, she left me baby So those are the rock tits are the worst I know, yeah, she left me baby This fucking weird and shit, dude, you're old Every couple of years they got to cut off some more of his Tit meat and move his nip around Yeah, he's like some crazy surgery I've always, I just remember working a comedy club in Arizona And they had a flixing shirts on

There's all these old dudes that were tan with a flixing shirts on And they're table sucked Oh dude, how big were their belts? How much were their pockets? Their back pockets but dazzle not be dazzle, but also had like a button Like a button on them for the flap on top Her voice was on their fingers. I'm a I mean So much a gold ring

I'm thinking of dang cook dang, Dan Cook, vicious circle. Gee. Yeah, I'm excited to dress. I'm going to dress like Nate Parketsi when I get old. I'm going to have very comfortable slacks on. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's kind of the thing. Cause that's the one thing you see about O.K. He's like, well, these motherfuckers look comfortable.

That's what you want. You want to see just comfortable living people. Yeah. My grandma's basically an old people pajamas. She just wears sweatpants with a matching cat sweatshirt. Do either of you Munchie or dead either of you see yourself not being a jeans person at some point you think you're gonna move to I'll be do move to daily slacks ever. No, but I will be I'll never be an agent. I think where I'm like you know, I gotta be honest Slacks It can happen

I'll do like like good fabric like pajama pantsy kind of old I'll be like why is this guy in this pajamas at Walmart kind of okay? You guys might get a nice crease leg slacked old man nice, creased leg slacked old man. No, no, no, no slacks, no slacks. Just like comfortable ass fucking wool, or not wool, but like cotton, anything cotton and flowy. Yeah, maybe linen, I would love to do it.

But just like mad shawls and scarves, this flowy shit, like that stuff in the dryer. Yeah. You know what, if I make enough money in this business to go get a like a young girlfriend in California, I'll start wearing fucking flowy stuff and get into yoga. You're gonna change your dress like a fucking hippie guru. Yeah, you're not gonna get this.

All these pillows around all the time. Like Dante's living room. Yeah, that's a lot. I love that. Now that seems comfortable. Yeah, but you get to a certain age where it's rude to ask questions, you know. I love that. That seems comfortable. Yeah, but you get to a certain age where it's rude to ask questions, you know? Yeah, yeah, let him live, man.

I don't care where the fuck he's coming from. That's why if you get those fillers, they don't know that you're at that agent unless they could see all those cracks on your face. No, the fillers. Damn, I'm still trying to process that you think you're going to go the road of slacks at some point. I'm telling you I'm too white. It's going cut in at one point. I'm just gonna all of a sudden bang. I'm just being some downforce. Although, I'll tell you, Jay, I've seen Dan. We dressed up for a picture one time jokingly as like we were like a Christmas family and Dan put on like the sweater with the

the button down shirt underneath of it like Like in my clothes, it looked like uncomfortable that I'd be dressed like that. I didn't look right at all. Dan, as soon as he put it on, everybody in the room had to acknowledge, I go, dude, you could be this guy. You'd be the handsome guy in the office who just, he fits, he's tall, he's broad,

so he fits those clothes right. He really does. He fits dad clothes wonderfully. Immediately, immediately felt like giving some fraudulent bank loans. Yeah. People and minorities. The funny thing is you're the exact opposite of that and not just that you're like t-shirts and jeans. You're specifically like a like childish t-shirts.

And yeah, yeah. Jam shirt on right now. T-shirt and you're going to do spots in an NBA James T-shirt and a punchline hoodie Yeah, yeah, I'm a damn shirt on right now. Yeah, T shirt And you're gonna do spots in an NBA game T-shirt and a punchline hoodie that I got for free from Molly at the punchline. Yeah So I don't know I'm dressed I'm always dressed like Tom Hanks and big when he first turned so damn first turn big And he just grabbed that giant sweatshirt. So I think what Dan's preparing for and he knows about himself is that you are one Real just from the right person like a tack on your dress, that you will like girls like, well, looks like gotta grow up, get some sweater vests and-

Sweater vests I can't do. I can't do polo or sweater vests, but I could probably do some smart button downs. No, you'll do polo shirts, dude. You can do it like a jacket and a turtle neck. Are you joking right now? Is that strike your fancy? I think that struck as fancy and now you're saying it didn't strike your fancy because I'm judging. Just a smart gray. Oh my god. Great, yeah, I got a little professor I got a little I can totally see that oh I concur I could start using words like that sweet elbow patch Dan to drop in bows Oh, man, I can see it 47 you start I'd put it under you say

Seven you start I put it under you say you say Is gonna wear the slacks to that like button like like coach shorts? Did you get the button the button on the up to the front kind of Eugene Levy pants. Oh you guys I'm gonna get super into gardening You guys gonna love it. I'm gonna fuck it love it. I can see you walking around with a fucking Tacklebox. Oh Cheg I'm gonna show you some light little work I've done here in the back Yeah, oh, let me let me show you a great way to properly dress your rod. Is it hard to believe that even considering the way I dress, I make several choices of things I don't do because I'm like, dude, you're 43. So there are actual things to get knocked out of the list.

Can you throw it out to Cheg and I? What are some of these things? Yeah, like what's one of those things? More probably like another piercing because something that's like I'm like one right there. Well, I'll tell you something that I could never pull off that chase hand when I we're doing a show in Brooklyn and Chase got one of those like bandaliers, you know, like the cool bandaliers, which is basically it's what it's a purse Yeah, it's a purse, but it's a cool purse is it Louis Vuitton one? It's cool, but it's a purse is it Louis Vuitton one?

Because I've been looking at I have a bunch of different ones man I just sounded so much like I just Scotty from book and I was like oh do you think that's cool? Okay, if you think it's cool get it like I don't even care if it's stupid though I don't even really need a purse. Yeah, dude. I'm just mad because I wear a fanny pack and I'm shit. The chase got a bit out of where an actual bandalier. Bobby tried pushing those in like 2011. This fucking bandalier. It's got everything. It's got a charger for my son. Got a sandwich slot. Got a hot dog slot. Little gravy point. Hot plate.

I honestly got into them because of the fucking pandemic. And like, you had to keep around like sanitizer and shit. Couldn't go anywhere. So I'd bring like a flask and a notebook and I'd go to a river and write like a psychopath. But it like, we all live like psychopaths then. Yeah. And I got used to it. Didn't you just don't have shit in your pocket then. Yeah, and I got used to it.

Didn't you just don't have shit in your pocket? See, and I didn't do that, and I walk around with enough stuff of my pockets that people think I might have gotten kicked out of my house. I just think, yeah, I'm going to go right by the river. Did project, did little projects, Michael Chey, think you would say something like that ever I'm gonna go right by the river

Breaths it's really let it out. It's almost brown bear season. I almost think that we when brings up the plugs, it's gonna say that Michael Che has his own sleepy time tea. He goes, all right, so have a little cup of cup of tea. I really did. I'm so glad in the tea as well. You fucking nailed it, man. Do you welcome, are you in the celestial seasonings family? No, I got somebody's got me this as a jiffle like a putt like a loose leaf tea a sort of thing or whatever and I got this tea different this breathless thing it like bruise the tea the way the tea is supposed to be bruised so like I always thought you just boiled water and you poured tea on that's right. That's what I have to be at certain temperature has

certain teas have to like room for a certain time It's fucking intricate Chad probably should toys before the show starts is a way you're talking right now If you don't know this we do have some black listeners, so you're just gonna really confuse a share of them So just like I Think you probably thought me just talking to a bunch of white people that we're gonna understand this tea story But it's a black listeners out there that we have what the fuck is she doing and don't get me wrong chay we are overwhelmingly white that's why the khaki talk goes over smooth but khaki talk won't it won't even be a highlight of

the show today some black truck driver just turned out he goes huh huh fuck you j Jay love Earl Gray The fucker's gonna be herbal tea. Yeah, I fucking Yeah, you know how about sir black people have a different way we steep We don't got a white steep and burn it all up burn the fucking leaves like you fucking Pressors, I would say I don't drink tea. I would say I don't drink tea But Christine's been jamming tea down me for several years now so I'd almost consider myself a tea drinker. Yeah and yes, Che, you are correct by Christine's use of scarves that she does dance while making tea. Oh yes. And also, I drink tea because my baby girl, I'll tell you like my baby girl, Christine went ahead and got me that Wendy Williams mug to drink my tea out of with the thumb rest and the Wendy lips on it so

You know I use a Ellen mug I got Ellen mug Oh dude that is I'm not gonna lie Jay I love Jay's Yeah, I love Jay's Wendy Williams mug. I love it But having an Ellen mug is very punk rock because you know she's evil. It's more metal. Yeah, Ellen She knows she screamed at somebody to get that shit for you. Yeah, she might have taken that mug and thrown it at someone. It's lucky it landed in the gift basket. It's like glued together like it was shattered. It was a mug and give it to her. Okay, Ellen. Okay.

I can do it. Yeah, I'll drink anything out of Wendy mug. What? What? What? Wendy was on that day of Michael Chey Windy was on the show and she was I don't know I'm guessing she's single you pretty pretty flirty. Yeah, she is single But you see me was like windy Williams like you think that's a power cup up and trying to figure out a power couple situation I'm saying you and Wendy. Oh, dude. What shall dunk on you, dude? No, you don't want that shit and she has a hot and she has a hot topic. She'll oh, dude Yeah, she she's a woman that if you scorn her Che you will pay for that. Yeah, I would know

Scorn, man. We would be in love Well, sure that's how you plan it but unless you got a benefit like reunion plan. Copy honestly I want to be in her world so bad I don't I don't know why I'm deterring you from doing it. Yes. Fall in love with him when he wins. Yes and let me let me and Christine come over and hang out because I want to talk shit with her all day. She makes me feel like a I mean like a gay drag queen. I get so excited when she comes on. I do all the ooze and aaws with her. I fucking feed right in. I know it's ridiculous, but God damn it, I love it. You get excited for Chiu Kame and all that shit? Oh. I can't believe people submit to it. I'm just intrigued by her whole thing. She just makes you really

go through a whole heap of shit and she really never talks very nice to anybody. Yeah it's. I was on I was on her show and I did the shoe cam and I was wearing a crocs. Audience audibly gasped. Oh, it was so disgusted. Oh, yeah. Happened to him. But here's the thing as weird as that gasp is I also find it crazy when Bill Bell and me today shows a pair of chucks, they give a standing ovation, like nothing makes sense really. Yeah, really, it's so strange.

I felt like like Ace Ventura, like a wine tasting party or something, like something where I should not have been. I was like, this is going to go all the way bad. Yeah. I did from Jay's Gen Z daughter find out that Crocs are way back in style now though. So you might just be ahead of the Wendy Williams game. Crocs are great.

I love Crocs. I'm pro crocs. I used to only do it in the house. And now I'm outside with the Crocs. Really? Yeah, man. Not for the night though. Not for the night though.

Not for the night though. I was night though, not for the night though. I was, I was just had a more last night. I went on eight barbecue and my crops and then I went to my friend's house. I'll tell you what, you know who's enjoying this stage with them? You know what stage with them on? Not at the seller, only because I think they would attract too much attention and distract from my opus. Yeah, well, when you got that river right in in your notebook, you gotta let it out. You can't be a crox.

I am very excited about hearing this. Old Dan used to wear Tiva's soda. I've been waiting for an active leisure shoot to come back and crox. You know, Nate tried getting me out a couple years ago and I could see myself making a crocs move now, then you can't go listen You can't go to down the crocs That's a move down that you're not prepared for you are crocs on stage You're not gonna like yourself. You're not gonna like person you're becoming when I'm clippin around

You're gonna gonna like yourself. You're not gonna like person you're becoming when I'm clopping around Bro, you're gonna East Coast Beach bum look at me Look at those I know Yes, I know Jay, but you are but you are 20 feet walk away from writing by a river Dan is in his urban jungle and he's gonna be walk around in crocs with a fucking book back in crocs. He's gonna look like he's got some sort of fucking Benjamin Button or the thing that makes you older. What's that? Jack DeZoe? Progeria. Yeah, I'm gonna, you got Dr. Morote syndrome.

Oh no, man, look, there's a Jack. I bet that kids 10. Oh, man. Dude, I love LEGO shoes. Let me wear my LEGO shoes. You're just like more and more like a boy with every fucking passing face. Yeah. They go, hey, did you just make a wish over in Coney Island last night? And then some fucking trees tap against your window? Oh my god. Yeah, let's get down. Let's convince Dan to wear Zubaz pants and crocs now. Exclusively. Easy sell. Easy. I got a pair ofers crop of Zubaz already ready to go

Zubaz I got it. That's but that's like very white. That's like white. Oh, no, it's not dude. Look it up It's for muscular men. Yeah, yeah, it's not for muscular men It's for it. No, it's for aging Italians who are in shape for their age men Which come on Jay who are you guys who guys who work at a body shop bro? B. We're not your sleeves off if you wear in those pants dude get those fucking tight tank tops with the thin strip Yeah, they're but a fooco's dude you gotta go but a fooco's no I don't know if even the tank tops what you do is you get a sweatshirt and you cut that fucking neck out something wacky I mean the show a fucking the bottom of a chain of a necklace.

Dude, let's bring back early 90s Roy, you fucking wear. Let's do it. We're gonna do G and C. Flexure cut like a t-shirt is the funniest, most... Oh, really well done. Yeah, unless you're fucking Bill Bellachack, you get asshole and even he even he yeah, he had to win six super People don't accept it He kept the hood or he didn't turn into a fucking scoop neck like like the scoop neck's the best

But that's a lot of worries. Do you remember dice clay did a special in a scoop neck? Did you know that? Please somebody Christina bring up the bring up the last one wasn't it? Is it no apologies? Just bring up the trailer for it's definitely on YouTube. It's Crazy look dude. He made a real extreme time and place choice Showing that much Mac room. He might as well have showed up with a fucking squeeze in a thigh master between his legs and hold a George Foreman grill He was a fad person for this one special. It's crazy. It's sponsored by AOL. Hey Yeah, don't get your 20 fucking free hours call the danger king

Get your 20 fucking free hours! Call the Pager King! Oh man, a scoop neck. Hope your mother doesn't knock you off the porn with a phone call. You gotta be so confident to wear a scoop neck on a special. What was the name of the special? No apologies. Maybe. It's so, it goes like full Travolta staying alive. It's such a it's such a choice, but he was this is all a time

Where he couldn't do wrong to his fans, you know, I mean whether the mainstream is going to I don't know I don't know dice that that well is Is he kind of in on the joke or has he just he A little bow like this this like when you talk some off is he like I you know I'm fucking around right dude look at that yes sort of but he's not he's he's definitely he's definitely dice a lot but like yeah look at that dude look at that that is beautiful no man that's. I mean what a choice dice muscle get out of here We're looking at swoop neck Wings yeah, we'll take a little taste. I got a couple of walkmans and TV's that's a good fucking time

The only one that lost out in the riots is Rodney King What a place to come in. Right. And I even figured if I couldn't get Joey Butterfuelco for this show, I would have called Rodney King up, you know. He's an every 19, 19, 19, 19. Oh, I'm talking about George Herman Walker Bush and everything that happened in a certain area. I'm talking to Homer Simpson.

Good fellas. You know, dances with wolves. Next thing I know, the invention of... What is the collection of... bottled water for the first time. I mean, if it doesn't come in 30 minutes, it's free. Oh, I don't want to go on a rent here like Dennis Miller. He's just bring it up early 90s.

But I'm gonna do the Barton. Man, I'm over here like this isn't in living color. Oh shit. Dude, I fucking love the fact that he was so confident. He was in a round and he was like put me in fucking work out here. If I just do what I do what my next special I'm going to do it in yoga pants. It is a tight shirt. My stepfather didn't not fully not dress like that when my mom started dating him.

My step up, he definitely out of that at the time. He definitely had a belt that was looped under and pointed down. You know, I mean the old fucking thing with the metal part pointing down and like I mean a baggy ass button down or backseat strip or like wrote with the sleeves rolled up because he was like mussely and shit. I mean boots, a man and boots. But you know, I mean like pointy toe girl cowboy boots.

You almost looked like it was a girl. There was a phase like my my uncles are very like muscular and she matter of fact they used to dance with with Dante. Dante yeah. Yeah. There was like a 90's phase where I'm under the dress of like black cowboys. I don't know. Yeah. But yeah, they used to be like the cowboy boots, big fucking cowboy ads.

It was so easy. It was brilliant. It was one Mario Van Beeple's movie, turned it all around. Posse, Posse, Bode, everyone doing. Was it that? Was that what? I'm telling you, that's why they went. Black Sea was a good in the cowboy hat.

Yeah. That's it. Black guys look cool in the cowboy hat. And for that one year, Colorado culture was everywhere. But I mean, it was so funny But like especially the strippers cab we had so always had like a bunch of like balls hanging off like Yeah, man, it's so weird to be so masculine so not masculine That's why when you go back and you watch that genuine genuine's pony video

you watch that Genuines Pony video, you realize that he's just fuck dancing for a bar full of dudes too. Like that churn changes their opinion about him. They're like, you're so good at fuck dancing. You know what I'm like? I like you. I didn't like you when you walked in because you're black. And then you fuck dance. And I'm like, this guy is fucking.

You're fuck dancing his top notch. It's so crazy that they're like, by the way, I mean, the concept that like, Dante competed in and probably won in several lion heart like underground street fights for money. Like also, we've put him on like, fringe wristbands that like, you know, making choices to how to make them like,

wiggle around when he does certain like ass dances. It's so bizarre those two worlds collide. Yeah, do Dante is like a sexy cool forest gump? That's like it. Then I was then I stripped and what I wanted to fuck, I fuck, and what I wanted to come. I came. This is when President, President JFK told me that I had the highest button America contest. I was fighting in the underground. They didn't like me much. I was always weird.

Yeah, I don't know. Let's bring sexy cowboy stuff back. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM!