The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - She Wasn't McCool About It

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Mid roll- 21:40Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd has some puns for his press conference and the guys get down to the The Twerkulator.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Believe it or not, it's just me. Joe Scarbury? Joey Scarbury. Right. Nailed it. Ketchon those music shows. We won't know.

They'll find out there as they will. You'll see. You'll see what the fuck is up. It's the bonfire everybody. We're live. Faction Talk Series XM 103. Big jokes and dance order of the crew is all here. Yeah. Jacob Atat, Black King, the Black Tiger Lewis.

DJ Lewitsky. DJ Lewitsky, depending on how you say it. DJ Lewitsky or DJ Lewitsky. Some people think it's his tag handle. Lewitsky. Um, of course Christine Marie Evans. Fresh off. A cold play mushroom high. Feeling good. She's still feeling good. She was cranking Lizzo today. It's always a good sign. The fun stuff though. Then I came out of the bathroom cranked the twerculator. Oh sonos is fun. Why is sonos never sponsored a thing by for me ever? But big proponent of sonos live my life by it get them on the horn. Sonos if you're listening. Let's go fucks

I never see sonos advertisements. It's like everybody just knows I'm the advertisement Sonos rules Unless we get another sponsor that gives us a full-house system like that for free then they rules Talk and you samsung he'll side you'll. Then they rules. I'm talking to you, Samsung. You'll sign with a competitor. I'm looking to you, Sony. I'm opening, I'm a free agent, Bose. Is this a calculator?

Bose rules. Yeah, give me some. What, what? Come on. What? What? What? What?

What, what? Ah. Ooh. Ah. What what What what Oh Ooh Oh What what Jay make it a clap. I am the see me getting low too bad. This is an audio medium. I am so down low right now Christine, what is this tweet you put up here? It's... It's the label to everybody except me, you, and Jacob,

why specifically Dan, Lou, and Lou. Because they knew we would look at it. You think it's what it is? Yeah, 100%. What is that supposed to mean? Because you don't respond ever. To Twitter? Twitter? To videos and stuff they send us sometimes.

Oh, I respond. I'm a responder in the Facebook campers group. Yeah, exactly. Okay, that's what I do. You handle Twitter. Yeah. Okay. sometimes. Oh, I respond. I'm a responder in the Facebook campers group. Yeah, exactly. Okay, that's what I do. You handle Twitter. Yeah. Okay. Talk.

Ain't no problems. But just, you know, I guess, did you want to run by it first? Cause they want you to watch it and then I'll come back in the room after you. You can tell me if I can see it. I don't know, that's how it works both ways. You bring me videos, I bring you videos

that these fans did. Crawl Dad. You brought this. No, Crawl Dad, Dad tweeted it at us. But you've seen us already. Yeah, and I love it. I sent it to seen us are yeah I love it I sent it to Christine okay okay and I sent it to black glue black glue and I both talked about it I it's worth the show worthy yeah this answer you you did watch it it's a layer show worthy I'm the problem

with it and the setup is sorry it's okay sorry it jumps did you know what we're both learning how to be a little less defensive it's I think's cold play. It's a testosterone. Well, that's old me. That's J. Me and that's what it is. I'll tell you what. What's my name? Because I got low T.

I did feel a little today basketball. Felt dominant. Felt out. No, I wasn't feeling dominant, but I definitely felt like, uh, I did. I felt good. I was like, fuck, let's go for it. Throw some fucking elk on the grill.

Have a little chilies. Let me fucking do some Rebo hunt. God damn your alpha. I want to freeze myself, and I don't feel good me. I'm gonna put on some new sweats You don't know that's like low T. I know I want a smoothie fucking Dan low T-soder Call me T-top dude. I'm top I've topped out of my tea. Damn, dude. Your tea's so low. Dude, T-solo, that I got to take a nap. My ice so cold, my tea is hot.

Dude, I have iced tea. Yeah, your tea is ice. Come in to hot tea, but this guy describes... Christine has to stare at a raging bone or 24-7. Can't do anything about it. Stay hard to be gone. You know her role. Why don't we have to suck your dick for an hour?

I don't love a big dick. There you go. Thank God. I know, right? Sometimes she does say the right thing. Yeah. Sometimes, sometimes just when I'm out, she's stuck to be right back in when I like that.

I don't like a big dick. You're right. What's all that about? Stupid. Stupid. Just dick. I mean, you've professed your love for a very specifically big dick. You're right. What's all that about? Stupid. Just dick. Sure. I mean, you professed your love for a very specifically big dick in the past, but I don't

say this does. No, nice flip flop, John Kerry. So you are a dick. So this video is a cop describing a woman freaking out of Adam McDonald's, but he's using like McDonald's puns. But then you get to see the video of the girl freaking out So we can make fun of him and her it's kind of a puns. So he's being so is it so it's not a dangerous situation I guess she fucking went nuts you see and he still plays games like and he's like she wasn't mccool about it

Oh god, it's so corny. Guess somebody should order her a but happy me. Yeah, hold on I want to make sure just back out real quick So I'm a guy I'm actually a fucking Jewish labeling star of the Holocaust Also, I need to go to this train yard What the fuck is this guy make this thing at a felt? Yeah, is that a fake cop? Are you dressed up as a sheriff? Is this my favorite guy from Paul County? Damn, you know Paul County, but County fucking Home of a go up a little summer rain

Who just there's so much horrendous crime there that the sheriff's famous first press conferences Well, this might be him. This was treated to us by Craw dad man underscore Craw dad I call dads are down and that part of Florida probably scammed my mouth Yeah, this might be your boy, dude that part of Florida probably. It's got my mouth. Yeah, this might be your boy, dude. Oh, it is. So now he's like performative.

This, that makes a lot of sense now about this press conference. Because now he's like, he's a ham. He's a law ham. Why is that? Yeah, I guess you could call him a pig. Why is every girl like a bad baby? Every girl gets in trouble, it's like bad baby.

Cause the girl, the same girl on the left, it's beautiful, puts those fake, lamb chop eyelashes on. It's like bad baby because the girl the same girl on the left It's beautiful puts those fake lamb chop eyelashes on. Yeah, it looks like she does in the right I think these two girls know that it's time for the twerculator. Oh What do you girls think is it time for the twerculator? Don't mind any young from from the city. I'm letting down a strippy in up. Oh, dude. I'm dropping it so low By whole opening when I go down Down and make a wink at you wow wow One make it blow kisses wow

Okay, okay, okay, okay Don't kill me with it Show your ass damn Jacob. There's a grown woman. Have a worse. Jacob's favorite sheriff slash Holocaust survivor. Yeah This is sheriff Rebenowitz It does look like it's I could have saved I could have saved more sheriffs. I could have done more. I could have done more. There could have been three more sheriffs. This stapler. Three Jews. That desk chair. Four Jews. What are you giving me for that? I got an eye-mact this weekend. 13 Jews. That set me back. for that. I got an iMac this weekend 13 Jews that set me back. Shalom! 13 Jews! You have a fleet of people making clothes for me, habbit dashers, but nope, I need a new

computer. The price is Lechaum. Lechaum. Lechaum. Lechaum. Lechaum. Here we go. Here's your guy Jacob. And you love this guy. I always watch this press conference as yeah. The a bit more high much. Here we go. Here's your guy, Jacob. And you love this guy. I always watch this press conference is yeah. The shit that goes down in this one county. And this is where some rain for the entire. I think he's like a sheriff though,

and like the wedding DJ in town and like everything like that. Definitely, it's a restaurant. He goes buying shakes hands while they're eating his ribs. For sure. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? It's a Hogan's place. Yeah, it's a Hogan's place. What's up brother?

Dude, I was watching a W's paper viewer or whatever and on Instagram, I went to Hulk Hogan's Instagram profile and it's like kind of a bummer to watch. Why? Cause he's just like old man and he's like, we're doing it brother, we're doing karaoke on Monday and he's like, he's there with his son and his son's like, ooh, we're party, it's like, rip it with his son and his son's like who we're party. It's like it

I was like man, I don't know maybe it was best to have a dad that went away He goes buy 10 drinks get a free ride home from Nick. No Then the law will drop the leg on you this guy Nick drives a party bus home after the show everyone Door it's a race home. He can get that thing up to about $7.75. So there's no corners. Coughing corners, they'll call that. God, let's get a little taste of this guy. She's a pretty lady, but she was a mad.

Oh, man. She doubt 9-1-1 and complained about her order at McDonald's. Damn. Her sister tried to get her out. I called 911s and just gave them my McDonald's order. You go, hey, what do you do? I'm gonna have a big Mac meal. Yeah, I think I'm having a hard time,

but on your way around, could you guys stuff over at 6? Yeah. She's there and grabbed me a filet fish, not a valve left or midnight. I had an ex lover come in and she did some damage with a machete. I'm holding it together. I'm gonna need you to pop by McDonald's,

six piece chicken nuggets. I door dashed my police officers. Also, could it be some raisers? Any kind of for a lady? Do you mind if I go puff you and just ask for some blue day right? I feel like I'm gonna want to want to come home from the hospital.

Is that bad? Oh, this is Sheriff Grady Judd. Grady Judd. I think Donald's. She wouldn't do that. Instead, she continued on her rant and her rage. It's her smack in glasses. I don't know what was wrong with her that night. What? I don't know if she was like two-fri short of a happy meal. Boom. Or maybe it was she was short of the happy meal completely. Damn, she's tossin' all the cuts. She created a Mac mess. Okay.

And she acted like a Macnut. Thank God there was another person of color there. Could you know where she ended up? A Mac burglar. On the way out of... Why wouldn't you say a hamburger? Can I tell you right now? I know this is your boy and everything Jacob but to critique the writing He's an asshole. He's an asshole. It's all mixed

He's just throwing mix in front of it. He did he could call her grimace. She was wearing almost purple Yeah, call her the hamburger or they use grimace in the term Grisha today was a grimace. She made me you know she made making leaving the manager grimacing in the corner. I mean, Jacob, these are light touch-ups that were doing, you know, I've never seen him do this type of dialogue before. This is off. You could tell she wasn't loving it. Come on. I'm not defending this. All right. The Mick Bitches back. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Comeick guys come on. This is just rolling out of you right now. I'm only putting thought in this. What's the next subject? What's wrong? She couldn't get a McFury. I mean guys we are doing it all night long The rest loves it. 10 piece nuggets, please. Uh-uh guys, but seriously though like we got a lot to talk about today Don't luckily we only have two reads. What's wrong with us? What have we done? Why do you hate that? Jim? Just smile at us and the thing Is that the kiss of death? Do you know Jim just kissed us both on each cheek? Is that and he says I know it was you

What is that? What do you think that? Jim's ever kissed me once let alone on each cheek Jason I Know you That he goes how's your parents? Yeah, yeah, house in order. Good, good. Okay, so she's flipping out, she's fucked all the cups up

because they got her order wrong. Yeah, that is always funny. Like, I understand being annoyed with an order being or I've been very annoyed by that, but I would just, the optics of fat guy losing it, going right not full rhinoceros angry rhinoceros on a McDonald's is like dude you probably need to be at McDonald's anyway but also they probably prepare for that more than they

prepare for this lady to lose it yeah you're right and then she bucks me like I would slide when I was screened scream on the video while I was beating them I go I said I wanted a mix salad and a coffee. Yeah. You guys kept giving me double-chase burgers. Why did you put so much dipping sauce in my bag? Thank you so much for bringing that cake sauce in my bag. I'm gonna throw you around, but I can't believe you sent me all that hot sauce. I can't believe Hisey Orange is back. Why is not more people should be talking about this?

Hey, if I can get into the house, can you mix Orange Soda and then Hisey? Or the Hisey and some Sprite? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Kiss me. Go keep playing it. After she had already announced everybody she was five months pregnant. Cool. She pulled her stomach, her shirt up to show everybody her stomach and then torqued her way out of the store. You can't make it. That's actually got the baby. I'll be honest with you this guy should describe I would actually pay money have this guy describe all like Black situations

Just everything like that at all like the way he goes he goes then she went on to say and I quote all Y'all can suck my dick you hose ain't shit You hose ain't shit suck my dick then hose ain't shit. Suck my dick. Then she did what I believe is called the Nane dance. All the way to her car. Do we have other press conferences from this guy? I wanna see if this is. This was what you just showed me

as the first non-double murder that I've ever seen. So most of the time these are a little heavier. So as press conferences can be seen. You love them so he still kind of goes at it. He goes, guys, we're in trouble. Hello. Double trouble. Am I right?

I'm working on my wink comment. He goes, I found two bodies, headless. Looks like there was a horseman that came by. And he's like, come on man, that was a wife. But this is Summer Reigns. This is where she works. Where's he works, yeah. Sex trafficking round up.

Here we go. This is pretty serious. He's cut to it. It's a 40-minute press conference. He won't be fun here. Or will he? When he becomes out, he starts acting like he's drunk and he goes, little girls, little girls,

everyday. I eat sleeping. Breathe, though. Or he comes out. Anyway, guys, this is a pedophile. Yeah, we found this guy with a bunch of kids in his basement. Good there you. Now, play me off thank heaven she's just turns out eight years old eight years old the body was eight she might have been seven when

she was killed she's just nine years old everybody it's a terrible tragedy. It's any headless corpse that we found in a lake. He goes, she's just 10 years old. She never saw it coming. She's been blindsided and traumatized for rest of her life. She just got out of fifth grade. You're rocking also hard. You broke his heels topping. We go back. We, this is telling me that my friend Benji from high school,

just fucking sex traffic. He goes, she goes, you guys want to see a body? Do you want to see a kid's body? I can't look at my friend Benji. Look at how I did it. Let's see if his name is Benji. It's probably Benjamin now. Probably goes by Orben. Benji. Every operation, they work at a lot and a lot of hours

so that they can be there the instant that we identify and help us identify these McPennifiles. These Ronald McConnals, that's what we call them. It's unbelievable the victims we get with our human rights. How sexy these kids are. I mean. And we identified one this time that I'll talk about without her name. Oh wait, where's the guy on the picture?

It takes follow up investigation by this wonderful team of counselors in order to get there. He cannot believe the crime that goes on in this county. Yeah, Mr. Finley is not involved in this from human trafficking slash prostitution operation. He's just an enjoyer of the art.

He's just a guy likes to watch him decide like he all goes down. Spector Earl Burns says, Oh, Ben, he loves a nice spectator sport. He's got an insatiable sex drive He's what we call a pervy jacker. You know what I mean doesn't like it involved with touch Honestly, you hit these on the fringe and then you go deeper to the core Mm-hmm, and that we also found child sex predators and

And that we also found child sex predators. And he's the first child sex predator that we identify. Big van Vader. He's 39 years of age. All right, my age. He's a handy man. He's from Mulberry. And you're handy.

You've been to Mulberry. And he traveled to our undercover location. Always. He was gonna engage a very young child for sex. Oh, so this is basically you know by if you ever get caught in this you know I was just gonna watch wrestling with him. Yeah dude whatever it's hell in a cell chill out. You there I watch that by myself I can't find any friends that'll watch it. But don't don't watch that stuff. I have to watch it shirtless with boys. Yeah. No in case we decide the rest of the way I want to mess our shirts up so our moms will get mad. Gee, I'm showing them the moves the baby oil is gonna get on the shirts and I can't launder it. I drove 17 hours

You want to drive back in an oily shirt? Okay? Fine fine. I guess we won't watch Cody Road Seth Rollins You're bumming them out you're ever if you tell them anything. I'll kill your parents Any who all right out. You're ever. If you tell me, I'll kill your parents. I'll kill you. Anywho. All right. Let me tell him one more thing about wrestling. Yeah. Fucking boys. I will murder you. If you say it with the things I just said to you, I will fucking hunt you down. All right. All right. Back to Benji. What did he do? Newsflavvy. Newsflavvy. Oh, it wasn't a very young child. It was a group of detectives. Boom! He's been charged as a result for traveling, for resisting arrest. That's right. He ran from us.

Is this why you like it? You want to go to jail. He had math. He was also charged with attempted to the loot battery and transmission of some very ugly stuff that he thought was going to a 13 year old child. Damn, he's trying to give him a 13 year old. Yeah, he's trying to give some fucking porn. What's going to the YouTube guys get through all this? I mean, probably with no legal sense. These guys probably. Probably legal.

This guy's got a lot more trouble because there's a whole legal thing here, but like. Yeah, Grady Judd probably hates the guys that you like because he's like you screwed up my investigation Maybe oh, yes, if they get in there for sure. Yeah, yeah You don't want to fuck up an undercover on a sex trafficking ring I wonder if they've ever got up to somebody by the way if you're gonna get caught pedophile I think it's a cover to please You pull the cover you guys do get out of here. You guys if you guys How do they prove that he goes?

Not every Pedophile use that you Cover what are you fucking do listen? I'm on the job. I'm on the job Don't make me call my fucking Come make me call my captain and fucking it's gonna rain I'm gonna come I'm gonna spread about this I've been down here working this fucking case for seven months stop it I haven't seen my wife or kid in fucking two years. But this is a dick pic you sent to me.

You thought it was a 14 year old kid. He gets money. He goes, it's not my fucking dick pic. I was, it's got to tattoo on it that says your name. He goes, fuck a Photoshop. Yeah, dude. You don't have a Photoshop. How could you possibly know that?

Dude, just get out of here. Just get the fuck out of here. Dude, before you blow my shit. You're naked in a child's bed. I know, get out. He goes, I know, dude. It's the character. This kid's gonna leave me to the bed of fuck. All right. I don't out. He goes I know dude. It's the character. This kid's getting

All right, I know it's a bigger bigger thing dude fucking pizza gate something. I don't know I have a little people just please did you really kill him? I'm hard on mom gets home, dude. She's so pissed. You see she's a big woman Jamie. Yeah, thanks for ruining a five-month Investigation You gotta do scrub the bridge of your nose and go I've been working on this yeah Craig's been living in this middle These fucking perverts all the time I've worked here. He's been their meetings Seven months and you're blowing you know this child pornography. I had to watch and smile through I don't watch that dude I put on vivid

Smile through I don't watch that dude. I put on vivid Vivid guy I like it pro. I like it fucking like it pro. I like it pretty. I like it well It I like it I like it surgically enhanced like a boom mic being a phone I like a scout locator a little labs and hair. Yeah, come on Oh man, why am I sitting there? I love the necklace mic. Black little, why was this guy looking at you? You're a fucking zoo exhibit, piece of shit. So close to June 10th, go hit that guy. You have every right, you're black, it's okay.

Guy in the back, dude. Just an old man. Old cruster. Old, crusty man. All these guys are crusty. Does he have any other press conferences? I bet two of these cops are worried that they're going to brought up in the child sex ring that's gonna find out. What do you think of these sandbag them

fucking blue chip style? And that's why I know that Henry back here has been dicking around the water in the soft little thing. He's been going to water parks. Four motorcycle shooting. There really is just a non-stop amount of crime in Polk County. Is there an article on that?

Is it is grant-if-dato based on Polk County? Polk County is vice city. It's not what's happens here. Landlocked Florida. Yeah. That's why they're pissed off. Why couldn't you guys just go a little like three hours? Not even.

Dude, when you're an hour, it's been an hour to get out of landlocked, right? Violent crime went up in 2020. Did COVID changes create the perfect storm? Perfect storm of what? The elder you're gone. Now it's the purge out there. COVID little get covered in the fucking old people cut the fat. Now it's just gold teeth.

That's next overall crime drop more. My nephew and I would just watch greaty-jud videos together and bond Because they were just Doesn't regularly so he basically just doesn't mean there. He just does a new set every night with a different crime Okay guys four motorcycle shooting Yeah, he's the word room in there somewhere. You definitely use a road rash reference to the Sega Genesis game You definitely use a road rash reference to the Sega Genesis game Maybe I do start maybe come out to the beginning of hot for teacher

Definitely reference the movie byker boys, okay, I can mention byker boys Putting a set together I for dead for horsemen. I could make that job I told you when I was in the West Village right when I walked by there Was a lady you're hooked by a fucking motorcycle. Oh, yeah, you said she's on the ground. She was in the ground crying I'm so scared for the here's why I know I think her injuries were pretty bad and the reason I'll say that is because what the cut she was an adult and The cops were talking to her and that the Ambulance and the empty people were saying like we know we're gonna get you medicine Which is not a thing you say to a fucking adult. Yeah, who's not going in the shock?

Who's allowed to live alone? Do you know I'm saying you're gonna get medicines? I'd be like what medicine are you gonna give me for my legs shattered in 50 plays? You know what kind of generic terms that medicine. No, I need surgery and like fucking I'm gonna get you some medicine, okay? We're gonna make out cheese go by by and you go I'm looking at my leg. It's jello I will say those soon she got as soon as they close the door on that ambience though We did say out loud that our sounds like yeah, they're about to give her the good stuff though Oh really, oh

They were about to take her to the stratosphere They go miss we're gonna put it a little thing called morphine. Yeah, it's like what I miss you My legs like a fucking bag of pebbles look at me Look you can touch it look that's bone feel that is a woman. It's moving. I'm a jellyfish The guy in a ninja bike did that look What's up, do Cati what's his craziest story Jacob? Grady Judd there a lot of Just anger, like deal, like, you didn't fix my car

and they just shoot them. I watched the last one I watched was a guy just double murdered somebody I believe just cause. Yeah. It's a lot of spur of the moment stuff, but also and listen, those kind of stories from the streets that some rain got to bring to the studio, you know, I mean, because you really does have a chance to be she got to get it on wax be rabbit for motorcycle shooting is just the other day it's just saying it when Beezer said she God damn, that's so... Get out of here! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What your fucking junky uncles probably shopping for a stupid head wrap You sit there's a little girl. That's why he's gonna screaming me to bikini And then he just comes out the parking lot does this look cool. It's wrapped. Yeah, that's a little good I can see the eagle I folded it to the eagle do you see the eagle in the front fucking sit so rad

All right, you're Marble man, and I'm Harley Davidson You on the front. It's fucking sick. So rad. All right, you're a Marble man, and I'm Harley Davidson. Mm-hmm. He says it's his niece. Okay, now we're gonna play this, we're this cowboy hat. I'll tell you what, I've never even tried on,

and I know I was a dude. Nobody pulls off the white du-rag. Dude, no way. Is that a du-rag? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know it's a du-rag. It's a du-rag. It's a band-danner, longer band-danner or whatever.

It's not even, no. I don't, the band-dad a longer band-dad or whatever it's not even no I don't mind the band-dad I like that. I used to do a lot when I was younger But bring it up the band-dad know you know I'm talking about where it's like where you make it a triangle Sure, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the already done One there they are they're they're down the white dude. Yes. There you go They come like that already you see them in like truck stops You ever see that they're already in the shape of the head. We got to get all we every one of us has got to get one of those Oh fuck it if you get to Harley-Davidson one don't write do rags

Don't write back to do rags do like a Not a head scarf No What would you call it? This is what they are though right like we found them like a, not a head scarf. No, the star is gonna say. No. What would you call it? I mean, this is what they are though, right? Like we found them. Yeah, yeah, look at that leather one. That's exactly what I'm talking about.

The money. The damn thing. I love it. That one right there, the little, yeah dude. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, it's a skull too. What a fucking jag. There's no way they have my size.

It's like 14 bucks. Yeah, of course it is. It's not real leather. That's gonna stain your head. There's no way they have my size. It's like 14 bucks. Yeah, of course it is. It's not real leather. That's gonna stain your head. What's the sign? It's a vegan brother. Yeah brother, the do rag black do do rag. Fuck man, 2000.

God, that's great. What, does it show sizes? Cause that's a big head I need to know this. Is it the one you want? That's a one size. That ain't me. I can't, that won't be able to do it I want you know to get biker head. I'm telling you right now. I

Will not fit in that Oh, that's a comic I saw him last night. He just today was his first day in turning for a battington We're so lucky to have batting today as a fucking leading show. Yeah, yeah this kid He's a comedian I believe in last night I saw him at the stand and he was telling me that today was starting. Yeah, so forever. Yeah, this kid, uh, he the comedian, I believe in last night, a song at the stand. And he was telling me that today he was starting. Oh, it's cool. Sarah Dom's set him up like to get this to jump. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah, her legacy lives on. They had to hire as long as he doesn't fail. Before he was terrible for the job, was they were like, she said, she put his own goes, we were gonna just say no, but then she passed away. It's like, okay. Yeah yeah now Ron's worried about a haunting Great not gonna worry about a haunting go back to the do-rag selection Christine

I don't want the leather one. We got a bike real joke Biker do-rags for all of us then I can shave my beard and do a fucking food man, too when there are very American is the lamest Oh, man I was in a store this weekend and I saw a guy with one of those shirts that's like I protect my pack no those the ones you look at you keep bringing up ones with it's not your fault but you keep bringing up ones with like the actual bandanas what I'm talking about are not bandanas yes that but biker but even that's not a great example of them but the ones at truck stops eat shit. Look at Broncos one damn

Yeah, yeah, that's one for sure Damn if you were those Or a leather pony tail holder a leather braid holder Although I will say I do like the way it looks, but I would never rock it and you shouldn't rock it You never rock what? Sometimes they wrap their pony tail like in leather. It's like a thing you can wrap around it It's another bikery thing. Grow your hair out. You never rock what? Sometimes they wrap their ponytail like in leather. It's like a thing you can wrap around it. It's another bikery thing.

Grow your hair out, dude. Do it. It's top. Do it, dude. I'm due for a haircut. You say now. You say just keep going. I think I'll let it come back. Yeah. My glowing locks. Yeah.

It's gonna take forever, dude. We have this conversation every year. This time next year, dude. You'll be have this flow, fucking flow, you may. This next year, I'd have pretty long hair. Yeah. It'll Yeah, look right you got this you do this a lot. Yeah, yeah, and then you pop one of these back all these hats right now I know you could pop it at time for me dude telling you By the time once you get to the once and once you get to Cooler weather in the fall you'll have long hair that'll be past your ears you think

Christine the flame one. That's exactly what I'm talking about. What a fucking dickhole of a product. I mean that's insane. Get me that one. Damn, is it one size fits all? Just no such thing. They have 19 on hand.

We need six. Yeah dude. We're gonna we're all gonna wear them, Lou. Lou, it might be your new thing. I got a bandana right here. That's not it. It's not a bandana. Dad does it count. And you know, I would do a bandana. I don't know. Look like Hulk Hogan's fat cousin. By the way, we don't want to look like bullcogan. I'll tell you what I started doing too. Sometimes which might come come if I'm growing my hair

Might come back a little bit. It's the bandana under the hat Axel Rose Michael are not George Michael George Not George Brett Brett Michaels Brett Michaels and stoner. That would have all been good though Brett Michaels and stoner. That would have all been good though. Brett Michaels would have worked. It's a fucking four-size. It doesn't weigh anything. What's the size of it? Size! Big heads need to know. Can't just add it to card all crazy.

Actually, it would be funnier if it doesn't. It's got moisture management in that it gets it. Yeah, you got to have your fucking DT's in it, dude. Absorbent Terry headband, Dan. A Terry headband. Comfortable to wear underhats. Hello. Helmets or by themselves. No one looks cool in one. The best looking guy looks like an asshole of these things, especially an American one. It's Lake shit.

Oh, yeah. That's major lake shit. Dude, I saw that up at the fourth. It fucking bikers when they have their shirts off and they look way less scary because they all have guts. Yeah, cuz I'll have soft boobs and guts They really did not do the biker stripping down as the funniest thing you're like how we worried about you guys coming Norbar and rough and tumbling when you all farmers tans. Yeah, then they take off their thick vests Yeah, you're like you got pink nips and not that much hair on your chest I kind of put, good boy body.

Look at you. Dude, let's get different designs of those durags. Are there different designs? Damn, the designs never end. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. We each got to pick our own design. That's bad.

Because you have a website called Whitehead. Well, surprise, surprise, real nice real nice Well, what a weird sight because I think I think that a really add to us being the bad boys is serious if we show up and biker headbands Can we do biker headband month and then Jacob you have to go to all the meetings in it For like a week Yeah, like you have to go to the main meeting and one we'll get you a leather vest I guess I'm trying to grow your go-t out kind of change trying to change my image anyway Yeah, for like you have to go to the main meeting and one will get you a leather vest I guess I'm trying to grow your go-t out trying to change trying to change my image anyway. Yeah, dude Well, this is the perfect time. We'll get ready for an avalanche of pussy It's gonna be the hard look at the whole game is someone's get ready

Should get laid all the time. This was the missing ingredients. This was it. This is the piece of the resistance Oh, yeah, I'll steal horse you ride See look at Harley Davidson ones This is you kick it open the door because they're the funniest and also then and then big Jim Just starts calling you Jake and what make eye contact because he's too intimidated I've been oh look at those The Harley ones are silly. Oh my god. I love the orange and black one. There's so many choices Which one you go for Jay I don't know I haven't seen it yet

You haven't come across it yet. You haven't seen your Lucille I haven't found my side on. Now, what am I? Bomberpilot? Yeah, do that here. I'm not the red Baron. I like that one for you. Yeah, of course. Well, yeah, but I would know it has to be silly. Okay, that's fucking sad. That's a pretty great one. A Harley Davidson leather skull cap. Eagle wrap. Black black durag. That could be it. Although I feel like it's used It's absolutely used you probably got a fucking salt rim of alcoholism and that thing. Oh, they don't have my size 75 eighths Do they have eight do they have so let's get a size eight?

Done, they got an eight. Kedoba boom boom boom Kedoba boom Kedoba boom Boom. Um, all right. Well, so I mean you got yours great. That one's badass, dude fantastic Dan that's Katie's not gonna be able to keep her hands off me. You having a size eight leather head is already just fucking gray I want to see that show up Show up in a huge shit. Yeah, look at fucking like a potluck ball Bullying ball back

That's my hat. Oh, put my head in my ride I like to wind dude. We need not understand about this. Dude, I can't wait for that. Do we buy it? Is it in? Is it in the shopping cart? It's already in.

Keep going down. Mine's coming. What? That, that, that, that, that, slow down. Jay, do you think you could be talking to a leather vest over like a sleeveless hoodie like that? No, I could be talking to a leather vest over a denim jacket Without a doubt what without that I could you guys want to start a gang did if I lose some weight I'll do a just a leather vest with my weird fucking white trash torso. Do you guys want to have a ride motorcycles and start a gang? Can we really do this? I don't know how to ride motorcycles. Me neither. Can we crash a lot?

You guys want to take classes together for riding motorcycles? Are we gonna do that in Florida? We should do that as a team. Do you guys want to start doing low-level crimes and then bump up into bigger gangs and then we get on crazy adventures? Get the drug trade.

You can go to Florida a lot. That's what happened in Blow. Yeah, be George Chung. Dude, you should be George Chung. Not that Johnny Depp said, I don't need this possible. Anything. Here we go.

Big Apple motorcycle school, we get learn how to get on hogs and then get hogs. Or we can just get a couple hogs. Do you guys imagine if we all pulled up for the show just in our fucking bikes out there? Yes. I love it.

You got a chopper for sure. You'd have a chopper for sure I probably have a classic you know throwback maybe like an Indian bike. Oh, Dan you're gonna have one where you have to We were a scarf and you hold and the handles are very close. Yeah, your butts tight and you're I mean your back is high. Yeah, my wieners push I don't mean you don't come in like I'm sitting on a throw like I'm taking a dump Pushed you know that me you don't come in like I'm sitting on a throw like I'm taking a dump With a squatty party. I want to try him so bad Do you do try? I'm you kill everything you do this is gonna be great our new look our new field bonfires gonna be We'll start with the head wraps. We already got the look first of all if we all show up together to motorcycle school wearing head wraps It's gonna look so fucking hilarious. I would kill to do a private class of us showing up.

Oh, we can absolutely can. Yeah. You can absolutely take a private motorcycle driving class for us. We need to do that. We should do it. I've been on a motorcycle twice. You know, there's both times I burn my leg on the exhaust

because I was holding a man's back. My? I wasn't on the front where you're supposed to be and my big boy legs hung down too far and burnt myself on Exhaust pipe because I wasn't supposed to be holding another man's stomach. Yeah, dude, Nick my stepdad built a door Our ass holes vibrate together. He built the He built a dirt bike and I burnt my leg doing the same thing holding on for dear life on my stepdad's back Did I made jaguar laugh last night at Legion's Gang?

It was so fun. There's a book called The Gaby Seas. Oh, yeah. And we were guessing what the letters were, like what the letters stood for, because what it was. And uh, we got, we got to eat, and I was like, Lewis, is this a word? E- out. Shit.

The Gaby Seas. E- out. What's this Vespas shit, Christine? I just thought we could all get Vespas. I'm going to need you. Christine. What? What? I'm not going to need you. What's this vest, but shit, Christine? I just thought we could all get vest, but I'm gonna need you. Christine, we're gonna, I'm not gonna wear a fucking leather cap.

You, do you want us to be laughed at? We're gonna pull up and vest, but it's Christine. That's crazy. That's a stupid thing to say. It's a dumb suggestion and I'm pissed. Oh, my God. Christine, if you, we just purchased me a leather cap, that's for a motorcyle. Christine, don't you want to get behind me? But I don't think you need a license for a vest, but do you?

Don't you want- don't you want to throw your legs around me and fucking while I fucking hog down the street? No, I want to drive my own motorcycle. What? God, you're such a dike. You're a lady. Ladies can't. Yeah, what? What about when you lay that thing down and flutches you little girl bone leg?

Oh, you're sweet bird bones, snap. Yeah, you're done. You're done, you delicate flower. You got bones like a salmon. My mom got my dad's motorcycle and just drove it right in her garage. I'm afraid of having to think because of that, he wouldn't teach charge. That's fair for a long time. Oh shit.

Because of that, he wouldn't teach me. My friend Scott had a mini bike when we were like, fucking nine years old, and he had a mini bike and he was like, all right, don't drive it because my dad says, we can't drive unless you have a helmet on or what. One of those crazy mini bikes where your knees would be like, way out, shit. It was like a Yamaha, but we're, yeah, we're like, nine.

But it was not tiny for us because we're nine. Nine? Yeah and it ran on gas. Yeah okay then we're talking about the same thing. Yeah there's a little little white and red Yamaha and it was like I mean me me me me me me me you know I was fucking gas in it up or whatever holding the break and then I let go of the break and then really and slam down on the ground and slid in his garage and hit the wall of his house and he was like, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up. And I jumped up and I was like, woozy. And then he got him and like laid the bike and like he did it.

And he was like, oh, sorry, because everyone ran and hit the house. I think I flipped a four wheeler before. I definitely, one of my favorite things, a laughs ever, was if he's listening, I'm sorry, John. But John Aiman, we were walking home one day and John lived what we would call down the hill. Yeah, up the hill and down the hill. Up the hill, but it's really bad. But it really was a V.

I lived on the street that I said that was the bottom of both. It was the bottom of the down the hill in the beginning of the up the hill. Okay. And we were at the top of the hill. And one of the down the hill kids goes, uh, he was driving by and John, like, knew him. I'm just in the neighborhood. They weren't friends. He was definitely in one of the, like, the more cool kid groups. And we were not. And Johnny was like, Hey Mario, which is named as Mario,

he goes, can I get a ride home on a mini bike dude? Like you're saying, like not this at all Christine. I'm talking, this thing's like a miniature motorcycle. It's like, I know that's a dirt bike, yeah, mini bikes. Yeah, there you go. Something more like that. For sure. I'm in a Yamaha mini bike. I wanna there you go. Something more like that. For sure. I'm in a Yamaha mini bike. I want to see you with this bad boy.

Looks like I want to see you. Yeah, this one even looked like a motor. There you go. Right at the top. Yeah, there you go. All the way to the left. Yeah, it was what it looked like. Perfect. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And John Aiman got on the back.

He goes, all right, hop on the back, but I'm going to go fast. And he was like, sure. And on the first jerk, you know, of like the culture, whatever it is. Dude, Johnny, even while holding Mario's waist, like his lower body just came off the bike. And then he was just being dragged with his book bag and winter coat on. We just watch him go down the entire hill on the motor. Because no, it's so loud. You remember the loudest shit. He's going, no!

He was watching his fucking like his jacket buttons. You remember the loudest shit. He's going, No! We're watching his fucking jacket buttons making sparks down the road, dude. I fell down laughing. He finally let go and did the roll off to the side. He's jacket, like his jacket feathers flew everywhere. Dude, it was so goddamn funny. It was so funny. He's right away, he goes,

all right, bye guys. Creep, whoop. It's just a picture. Right to the, he was off the bike. Immediately. He's right away he goes all right bye guys He was off the bike Immediately because that's what I think it was like I did that and then when I let go of the break the jerk It's it's always the jerk dude that's what I think I flipped for I think right away I was like holding the clutch in and then you know they're like rev and now let the clips come that first me thing. I think I went off the back and just like it went like straight up. I'm always wants to put it back.

The old. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I think that's how a member of Dave Matthews band dies. Yeah, totally. That's a fiddler accident. If I've heard one, yeah, that's a fiddler's accident.

They call out a failure. Let's take our first break. Okay. We should. Sounds good. We're gonna come out of the field where's death. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's take our first break. Um, okay. We should. Sounds good. We're gonna come back by some head wraps. It's fine. We also, we got some fun stuff, dude. We got Kenny Rogers's Planet Texas.

Jacob sent us that video. It's fucking wild. So many things. Chat Hanks, Z-Way. Oh, rabbis, rapin' people. Come on. Delivery workers are stealing food, which for F and shore. The article basically is just like eight out of ten

or for sure, dude. Easy, easy. They also, delivery, the quality control of delivery is a fucking mess at this point. Now, the new things, if they know they fucked up in some way, they'll leave it your door. They'll do like, oh, it's contact free delivery. I just, I didn't agree to that.

I asked for a knock on my door. And every time we've done that with pizza particularly, you pick it up and say, oh, this is one of those, like, they decide to turn it vertical and go on, I got through a doorway or something because the pizza's a fucking mess. But they just, they dip. They, they, they ding dong ditch,

but leave you a fucking sloppy pizza fucking ass Restron anymore so you can't call the restaurant ever to complain about anything what time of dude just ganked my sandwich Well, we had that happen remember we had to go I had to go fight a guy like a crouching tiger I had to go over to that What's signing an East member is a guy couldn't believe this delivery worker just, I gave the sandwich back that was wrong, and he was like, you never gave so that's why we'll never deliver to you again. Like, we, listen, I thought it was a wacky request

that you wanted the sandwich back, but we sent it back. And he's like, I never got it back. And we're like, remember that? I was like, one of your drivers, the driver who picked it up, just didn't want to bring it back. So we threw it out or he ate it. And he goes, my my driver right to me and we said yes and then he just put his hand to shake my hands and that was that was it yeah I grabbed the stone from his

hand dude good good job that's it I passed it oh to me to test to become a domestic one time this guy just I just I was like a during the pandemic which I get It's fucking crazy, but there's a you know There's a building you buzz in and then sometimes leave it downstairs fine whatever this guy just put it on the street It was like I left it outside and I was like Not outside my door When I went downstairs and I was like not no lobby Then I went outside and I was like, you can't just left it on the screen.

Outside of the apartment building. Out on the dude. That's crazy. Like under the buzz box. That's wild. Just the sandwich. I called the restaurant. I was like, guys, I'm tipping you six bucks

for the sandwich. Cause I wanted it. And they're like, even Uber doesn't have the fucking bean bag to try to get the tip Before the services concluded seamless does Seamless does and it's and by the way they start it's like 15 and they almost say goes 15 if you're a cunt 20 if you want to at least be a human being

25 if you care about others 30 if you super cool and 30 if you want to be awesome and people remember you was a good person when you die. So make your decision. You move, hot shot. Yeah. 15 if you'd want to just tell this person, I hope your family dies. What a cool. I can't even forecast.

You're a fuck seamless. That's very difficult. It's very difficult. It's your uptown problems. Huh? These are uptown problems. Deliver my food rights. Get back into the business of restaurants delivering, not a service delivering. So difficult. These are uptown problems. Huh? These are uptown problems. Deliver my food right.

Get back into the business of restaurants delivering, not a service delivering. I mean, but people are, it's easier to make money for people because they can just pick up deliveries and then drop it off. Right, but the quality then has, it's kind of, quality of delivery has been so effective because they don't give a shit though, just take it all. That's what this whole article is about is just people are like, I don't know, I'll eat fries if I'm bored. Because they're not, they're not like hired by the restaurant. They're just like it all. That's what this whole article is about. It's just people are like, I don't know, I'll eat fries if I'm bored. Because they're not like hired by the restaurant.

They're just like, right, picked up some fucking five guys, had a handful of onion rings, dropped it off. But you was nice. You'll go bad. And you'll go up, you go, oh, actually my bag was tampered with or broken. So let us go like,

okay, we'll refund you that $15 and But okay, yeah, okay the driver goes off and Probably we know do it if you do nine good deliveries for every and 10 you just fucking yeah fuck up Christine Look up this video. There's a video. I saw online of someone filming a seamless driver opening stuff and taking it out and filming a seamless driver, opening stuff and taking it out and moving it to a different thing and then closing it back up and delivering it. That'd be fun to start doing. I would try to make, I would get an empty, every time I pick up my McDonald's I go, can I get an empty fry box? And I go, why?

It goes, pinch a little out of a lot. Dude, you're going to your job at Uber Eats, you got your Tupperware, you just come home and you go, okay, so I've got two nuggets from Chick-fil-A. Yeah, you just dance around and you just get you just add it into your meal. Yeah, they have a new limited edition sauce for the nuggets. Pretty cool. And they give that a whirl, they got two of them. Yeah, I got the new Palm Pace sauce, pretty good stuff.

Why, what's the hold on? Why would they say there's a two limit on sauces and McDonald's? Two, two. It's crazy. That's the limit. You're lucky if they send them at all. Yeah. If you're calling Uber Eats for sure, but I'm saying when you go at all, they're like, like, you can get two. And like, I want 10. And they go like, I like when they do this by the way they go. When you say with this tone, we have to charge you, we gotta charge you. It should, you should be next, be telling me,

they're $75 as a sauce. Limited. Because when they tell you that they're like, it goes, it's like 30 cents for extra, I go. Give me a thousand of them. Like, okay. Is this a negotiation? So weird thing to just argue about yeah, well cost extra well then fucking throw it in the Fuck the world damn dude, you know burger king does nomencl you select sauces sons of bitches what a monarchy

Let's say a break we'll be right back. It's the bonfire. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! Always on SiriusXM!