The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sideneck with Chris Stanley

Episode Date: August 21, 2026

Jay saw Guns n Roses last night at Metlife Stadium in New Jersey, but he only wants to talk about a new rapper he discovered on YouTube. He is named Sideneck because his neck was paralyzed to the side in a car accident with a moose that left him for dead. | Chris Stanley is back in Bobby's seat to witness Axl Rose drone on about his dental work during the big show. Jay thinks the show was an hour too long. | They discover a video of Roseanne Barr rapping about MAGA. | The guys debate weather John Mellencamp is as good of a dancer as he claims to be. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, sly. T.rex was trans? Something like that. Looks like it. Just glam? Yeah, just glam. Just glam?

Just glam. Did make no claims. I don't think so. Maybe buy it. I don't know. Real problem, though, right? Wait a man. Wasn't T.

Wasn't T.rex, like, a problem? Yeah, the dude died in a car accident. Oh. So a self-problem. Bender bending, though. Yeah. It was bending genders. Classic Mark Bowlin.

Classic. Also named Roland Bowen. What? Yeah, see, bisexual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Openly bisexual. Married women having a son named Roland Bowen. What a piece of shit.

Hey, one last fuck you before I fucking hit a wall in my car. Your name's to be Julia Gullier. By the way, get it on or bang a gong is the same song. You may have heard some of their hits, like Get It On. This is AI slop, all right? The AI doesn't know. Fucking slop. If both of them was around today, A,

probably wouldn't have been a musician because music's just made by AI now and B, probably being a polycule. Totally a polycule, without a doubt. Yeah, that bisexuality would have put him at least on the charts. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Man, people really love a guy who's like, yeah, I've tasted cocks, and I've got a voice of an angel. I like all flavors. Do you what I mean? Give me a taste of everything. I guess that's coming full circle

because we got out of that that was like the 60s and 70s probably had a bunch of that androgynous shit without a doubt and 80s too and then the 90s jumped in and then Wu Tang Clan

would just outwardly call you gay if you did stuff like that and they would also tell you that gay might be punishable by a street beaten with ninja stars with ninja stars for some reason

in the middle of Staten Island why am I being killed with Far East weapons Oh, was that a katana? What the fuck? I just got nun choked by a bunch of black guys. Black guy's name is Rizza? What?

Is there anything? Is there anything like, there's, listen, if you're a white guy walking through a neighborhood and a bunch of black guys come out of somewhere, that's pretty scary to a white guy. If they come out, but they're all wearing, like, Kung Fu gear, it's somehow less scary. It's somehow less scary. You know, I was talking to,

finoy about this. The karate ghee is not a comfortable outfit at all. Never worn one. Only supposed to be worn for just competitive and like, you know, classes and stuff. Why? Of all the things he could have worn if chosen, at the end of Karate Kid Part 2, knew he was about to

fucking slide in and start fighting somebody to the death. Why a costume? Why is he dressed like Scorpion from fucking Mortal Kombat 2? It's crazy. Do you think he made his decision? He'd look through a thing. He was like, what's going to be my outfit to storm this party in? Yeah, absolutely. He's like, I want to look good.

I want drip. Do you think while he was looking, he kept playing I'm walking on sunshine while he's looking through geese? I'm walking on sunshine. That should have been the montage. Yeah. Fashion montage. Do you remember those old Wu-Tang videos, like from the first album,

like Method Man? And it just looks like the most fucking burnt-out place in the world. Everyone has guns. Everyone. Everyone just flashing guns. Yeah. I love that. That's what was great.

Then they started making the, these, I think, early 2000s, they started making these videos called Beef. And then Beef 2 and Beef 3. And they would go through them. And these guys were like, well, you know, they decide to do the video in a place where there's heavy gun users. So everyone just got their guns in the thing.

And then another guy would go shoot another guy because he wanted to be in the video. Wu-Tang wasn't even super big with guns, from what I remember. It was always like Onyx, dude. Oh, yeah, Onyx, yeah. I mean, the Onyx is something called throw your guns in the air. everyone's holding like oozies and shit the whole time. Like they got those

from the IDF, you know what I mean? Like that was fucking ridiculous. And then they went mainstream with slam. Yeah. It's so funny. Yeah, yeah. It became a jock jam. Everyone's so willing to go mainstream. I mean, the amount of acting roles that Method Man has played where it's, you're definitely seeing Clifford.

He's a good actor though. He is a good actor. No, and all the problem with him, I'm just saying, like, he's played role. There's one thing he played, where it's called the Mortician. He's a mild-mannered mortician. So watching Method Man play like a, like he's supposed, he still looks like method man, like perfect beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the whole thing's all lined up perfect.

Yeah. Always not perfect. But he's just like in a suit and he's like a nebishy nerd. But it's like, no, you're method man. I can't escape it. You're M-E-T-H-O-D man. I can't not see it. You're from Staten Island or South Brooklyn, whichever.

I had a hard time with Tupac in that last movie where he's playing a junkie. Like, I don't know. Wait, which one was that? Gridlocked? I didn't see gridlocked. The last one I saw was Ken, I patch. Oh, I did see that movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a goodie. What a dumb one. Oh, the one fucking homeless person we decided to pin a crime on happens to be an esteemed doctor who is just homeless for a little bit. What are the odds?

It's really funny the beef Tupac had with, like, Biggie, obviously. It's like Tupac was funny. Whatever came of that? I think they're in Cuba. A million laughs. Tupac the most like charismatic man

Like if you watch him interviews The guy just had charisma He was acting kid And then Biggie was just like a monster With a lazy eye Oh yeah He's like I'll know what's uh Yeah

And he's hanging out with Diddy He was just fucking Black Epstein Dude his most famous interview That Biggie Smalls did His left eye is on his chest It's just a monster of a man Literally He goes

Yo can you turn up the air condition are melting. My eyes are melting in my tits. No, that's not the most famous interview. The most famous one is when he's sitting to mo money, mo problems. When they show him in the videos, he's like, hey, can you film me from the fucking bullfrog neck up?

Thanks. He didn't care, man. I'll tell you how times have changed, though. I went to that Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The Big Papa jersey is not big. I don't think he was tall or anything. Really? I thought he was gigantic.

I don't know. That big Papa, as a, As the fat person I was walking through when I saw it, I was like, I don't think this thing would fit me. He must have been short, I've always told myself. Normal-sized pop-old. You notorious MED? That has no fucking ring to it. Is this gridlocked?

Yeah, he played a junkie in this. And, like, I don't know. Down was like, he still was like, it was too much too pocky. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he was six foot two. Man, never mind. With 400 pounds. Maybe he was just bobbyed.

bottom heavy it's all in the ass dude i feel like that i feel like when i saw it i was like i couldn't wear that it was kind of short i don't know what do i know yeah well but he was that kind of fat where he like dressed to fat you know what the idea was it didn't matter like it didn't matter if his if the bottom of his shirt was two and a half feet away from his fucking legs of his pants he wasn't tucking it in he wasn't pulling those pants up over the i got that too by the way I'd rather look like a fucking capital P than fucking make myself a capital B With a belt

That's the worst When you separate yourself with a belt Oh no, that's bad No, it's no good Nope, that's not it either Man, that fucking eye was lazy It was, yeah, dude I mean, Jesus Christ

It's just turned around He's looking into his own brain That must have been his non-Jamaican eye Because those people do work hard They do, yeah, yeah You should have had an eye patch I know what you're saying, Chris I get what you're saying,

now that was just his regular old left black eye lazy not taking care of little eyes I didn't mean that shit those are those the guys things you're saying no that eye that eyes actively walking away from a family no I'm not saying that you should have it was great stuff I wish you would have said all that because I think I got what you were saying but I guess I had it wrong said those things I feel like those things were right there for you to say I asked you to bring up. Yeah. Yeah.

I want you to know. I'm here to talk about it. I had a pretty great music experience yesterday. Did you? Yeah. And I want to share it with you right now. Okay. Where was it?

YouTube. Oh, just on YouTube. Yeah. I know everyone thinks I'm going to talk about guns and roses now, but this is more important music right now. Bitch, I'm sidel neck. You're not familiar with sidel neck? No, I'm not familiar with side neck. Oh, because he's about to become your next internet sensation.

I love an internet sensation. Oh, God. Well, you might have been wondering why he's called Sideneck. Crank it. Now, he's a... I think he doesn't have to be in a wheelchair, but he doesn't move really good. Wow. I guess I don't laugh at Art like you do.

Why can't he move his head from his shoulder? He said he was in an accident, but I've never heard of an accident that's like... That's like a cartoon accident. Like I was hit on the left side of my face with a baseball. ball bat and it never it never came back he's just trying to get a check from the government i think i mean he's got that's how he's paying for these tattoos for sure i mean these tattoos are great his entire body lit up with him i will say now what's going on here is this guy i don't know he's some sort of plegic yeah a quad or a para or a uno something's pleaged now i think he's parra i think he walks though

oh that he's just like i think he's just lazy this fucking lazy ass sideneck motherfucker Sideneck The crash he was in Let's see Social media personality online creator Known for his music and viral content Got hurt after crashing his Hyundai Tiburon That's the most

That's the most embarrassing part of this whole thing Into a man Might as well be a Kia Sportage I didn't realize side neck was a fucking Puerto Rican 12 year old His Hyundai Tiboron into Okay, should have kept reading Into a 1200 pound moose

In Ontario Canada on April Fool's Day in 2010. That's great mythos. This guy could just rap. Wait, so he, the car, the moose wrecked the car and him? Buddy, I've seen a deer destroy Keith Robinson's Ford Focus. The crash happened around 130, which is also a humiliating car to be driving. Driving at around 1.30 a.m., his car struck the moose, which crashed through the windshield.

Oh, my God. And kicked him directly in the head. Oh my God. As the vehicle launched him into the swamp. Side neck. Go! That's so fucking agree.

Side neck. You know, if I were him, I would have called my rap name would have been Moose Face. I mean, sideneck is just too on the nose. It's a little on the nose. You make a song called Side Neck.

Yes, yes. Albums called Side Neck. Yeah, that's your lore. Yeah, you're going to go to go get moose tooth. A moose face. And then after he got kicked in the face by a moose, that launched him out of the vehicle. go into a swamp.

What the moose swamp is what else? Then alligator saved my life. What a Canadian weirdo. Yeah. Severe trauma.

He broke his neck in three places. Jesus. His back in two places. Fractured his face in five spots, broke ribs that punctured and deflated his lungs.

And tore his Brock... Jacob. Come on. Jacob. Why is Jacob laughing? That's fucking crazy. He tore his Brocchioplexus nerve bundle.

Oh, no. That's important. Which permanently paralyzed his right arm. He's an unobledgic. Okay, yeah, he's got three limbs working? Three working limbs. Okay.

And it's pecker, I hope, because it's going to be raining pussy on this guy. He drowned in his own blood and was temporarily pronounced dead at the scene for 10 to 15 minutes before being revived. All right. He's definitely got his old wrongdoings must be haunting his dreams because that's longer than the flatliners did. And they had to write some past wrongs. Yeah, they had to go to the past to just really deal with that trauma. So do you think he had a... I love that movie.

Do you think flatliners? I love the ridge. Why do they remake it? They think it was a great story? Well, Keith are Southerland. That's what I always say about those movies when they remake point break. Like, do you think it was an awesome story?

Or do you think it's Patrick Swayze and Keanu Kiana Reeves and Gary Buse? You psycho? It's really insane cash-gras. Let's remake it with just actors who can really bring the roles a new life. Let's make this the most soulless thing we possibly call.

Oh, you know what? Hey, let's throw a little in the mix. Let's do flatliners, but let's have it the person be in charge be a trans, a confused pre-top surgery trans. Going into the WMBA, I think. Yeah. Is that in the news?

She wanted to die. Didn't they remake Roadhouse, too? Yeah. And total recall. Yeah, all bad. I'll tell you what, though, I didn't hate fuck, I hate saying this because I love the original.

The Running Man. You liked the new one? I mean, I liked the director. Edgar Wright's great, but I saw the trailer. I couldn't watch it. I just watched it on it. I had nothing else to do. Sure. It was like a house to myself. day. I'm like, fuck it. I'll watch

fucking total recall. Treat yourself a little bit. Treat myself. No one else wants to watch this. Because here's the thing, like Christine wouldn't get the nostalgic value of it. Okay. So like I would, you know, so I was like let me see how they keep the story and what they do. And they made it very different, but I didn't mind it. Yeah, but I didn't mind it.

For the trailer, it seemed very, very, it was like everyone searching for the running man, like out in the open. Yeah, yeah. It's like survive the world. Was Dynamo? Do they reboot Dynamo? No. It's No, no superhero things like to come get you. Come on. Yeah, they did take that element out, but it was pretty fun.

Was it? Who was the actor in that? The fucking guy everyone loves? What's his face? And then co-starring. He was it Maverick. Yeah, those movies also have to have a young black child from the ghetto who understands that. And now he understands the black plight because he's running for his life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny. There's always a black family that goes, like, I don't know, I just want to help him. And they go, get this white boy out of our fucking house. He's the running man. Everyone's trying to kill this guy. You've got a family take care of him. What kind of man would I be?

If I let this white man just die out there in those streets, then I'm just like they think. In this universe of the new running man, is it a show that keeps going? Like, this isn't the first time it happened. Yeah, no, no, right? So everyone knows. I think the only similarity is that, like,

they lie about people winning and, like, having a life of luxury. No. No. Well, that was the original one. I know. Did I ruin that for? were you? No. Spoiler alert.

Oh, look at an evening with sideleneck. Look at that's a nice picture. That was sideneck and running back. This is a story of sidel neck. I tell us what happened to him? Yeah, it's basically repeating what you just read. Oh, yeah, that he was in a terrible car accident. With a moose. With a moose.

I didn't see the end of the thing. I didn't see that last part. He should do a... Oh, you know, I did... He subsequently spent two weeks in a coma during his recovery after he was dead for 10 to 15 minutes. Came out dropping bars. I mean, that's like, you know, sometimes people come out of comas and speak it over the language. That's true.

It's just that like hits a part of your brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That moose saw something in him and decided to crash to the window and kick him right in the right part of the head that makes you side neck and also a lyrical genius. Tell you what, I've heard worse raps. Oh, sure. He should do a co-lap. Remember that dude that went viral with a giant neck, the black dude in Florida? Yes.

Like, why don't they get together? Did that guy rap? Eventually. Eventually. Eventually they all wrap. I'll tell you what, though, this guy's a shoe, and I mean, this guy's a main stage opener on gathering the jugglers by next year. I mean, that makes sense.

By next year. No, I don't think it's happening now. I'm saying, though, with this viral video, how could he not be there? I'd like him to be, I've pitched very often this guy should be Skangfest opening musical act, but I'm, you know, I'm getting overruled. It's not my festival. Who's going to do shit? It's not my festival.

He also has a death row records chain, and he's definitely not signed to death row. it's definitely not gold it's an odd color it's a real odd color it does he does seem like somebody snoop dog would sign it does sure

yeah and he is in control of death row now oh bitch he's saddenick he's siz ad in his egg booze face look at it what's the he's got the tattooed sideburns that's sick

he also has a tattoo of like the ski mask Is that from the, is that the logo of the band who hates Israel? Oh, yeah. No, I think it's just Spring Breakers. He's just a giant fan. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah.

Bitch, I'm side neck. Yeah. This is good stuff. Yeah. I bet when he sleeps that side of his neck sweats so much. I bet it's so uncomfortable. Oh, that must be terrible. Just the rashes?

Oh. Side neck rashes. Oh, and you got to pull, when he take his chains off and you got to pull him out of that fold. Who? his side neck? Sometimes it gets stuck. You think it's any chance he's fucking any girl in these videos at all?

I think he might be getting blown. Like a, uh, like, uh, like, you're cool side neck. I'll fucking, I'll hum one on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, side neck. That was a really good, uh, verse. You really lip synced well for the video. Good job, side neck. Your face was moving, which we all thought would never happen again.

Because of the fact, you were dead for 10 to 15 minutes. I'm surprised I just have a moose tattoo. Nah, if y'all, excuse me, I gotta go fucking tetaport. I got to astro project because I was dead for 10 to 15 minutes I now have a gateway to the other side it's my duty to go check it out

he's fighting in the spirit realm right now yeah yeah it looks like he's rapping here sure his physical presence is yeah but right now he's a spirit warrior fighting in the spirit realm side neck dude I've never

are there a lot of people that come alive after 10 minutes if you do I thought if they get there if someone goes he hasn't been breathing for 10 minutes do they even waste time pound it on your chest I don't think so because after three minutes

that's when the brain damage starts hitting. Yeah. Because there's no air to the fucking noggin. Tell that to side neck. It all went to his neck. Maybe there was there. Due to the injury, there was an air pocket in the neck that let the brain

not get so messed up. He got sealed off like a balloon. So he was able to survive for probably 10 more minutes because side neck cut off the air so it didn't escape his head. He came out smarter than he was to fucking wreck.

A lyricist. All right. Zero to four minutes, your brain cells start to starve for oxygen, but permanent damage is still unlikely if CPR start immediately. Up to four minutes, not bad. Yeah. Four to ten, high risk of severe and permanent brain damage as cells begin to die. After ten minutes, which is where he got,

survival with normal brain function is very unlikely unless unique protective factors are present, which might be a side neck. Yeah. Well, it might be, it says extreme cold and he was in Canada. Oh. Oh. Yeah, it was move season, too. Ontario?

Yeah, there must have been cold as hell. It slows your brain metabolism, which I assume pre-accident side neck probably wasn't a rose scholar. I think he was an ice rope trucker. This is where this happened. Bitch him sidneck living on disability

and I can get a license. Alps is called accessory. Special conditions. Nobody is dead until they are warm and dead. What? With rare resuscitations successfully but warm and dead I thought like they would say cold and dead

it sounds like a caveman wrote it not a doctor I think they're saying if the body's cold it's it's gonna last longer without air oh so if the body's warm yeah so if somebody you know I got they're saying in those extreme conditions because up above it says up to 30 minutes

it's extremely rare but up to 30 minutes but that might be completely brain dead Jesus Christ side neck Yo, just know if any of you guys are down for four minutes, I'm going to tell him not to waste their time. He ain't coming back, man. Yeah, dude, I don't know if you notice,

but these guys just have regular neck, so their brains are dying at a rapid pace. If any of these guys, do you guys want to get preemptive side necks in case this should happen to us? You should never be at the right angle. Yeah. I don't know how much fucking moose areas you're driving around? Oh, all the time.

I don't even have a license I'm driving around moose. Dude, non-stop, moose. They're huge. apparently. 1,200 pounds? Jesus Christ, that's almost as fat as biggie. Bitchy side neck. What's the longest someone's been clinically dead? What does it say? And then come back

to life. Oh, there's his underwear. Side neck's underwear? No, no. Briefs? Weird. I bought this company's underwear, but I didn't buy those fucking little Pinocchio fucking hats that they were selling right there. Mine are long box or briefs.

Most of the time, death's permanent. When someone's heart stops beating, it rarely starts again. Okay, blah-bety-blop. Spending more than 30 minutes dead and coming back without major brain damage is rare, but in some specific circumstances, people have been resuscitated after many hours and made a full recovery. Many hours. After many hours. But that's extreme cold. It's extreme cold.

Most of the time when doctors say clinically dead, we're talking about cardiac death. That means your heart's not beating. Okay. Okay. Is there an answer to this question? Do we get fucking clickbaited? This is an ARO. This is one thing you go the way down.

Yeah. I keep going with this. I got yesterday. This new Hulu show, thriller, has people talking. You are not going to want to not miss it. I see a picture of Chris Maloney. And then I click it. It's like, The Handmaid's Tale.

I'm like, this has been out for maybe a decade. Now, look at this. What? A 31-year-old man, okay, here we go. After cardiac arrest and hypothermia. All right, so yeah, it was cold. It was a real. 31-year-old man who was revived after 8 hours and 42 minutes.

His body temperature was about 79 degrees Fahrenheit due to a summer. or thunderstorm. Experienced a cardiac arrest and people nearby immediately began a minister but immediately. And they did that for three and a half hours. Now what kind of rapper is this guy?

Not a rapper at all. Yeah, this guy woke up fucking, yeah. Yo, I'm dead lips. Who's that other white rapper that raps about bag of shit? His name's like Tom McDonald. Tom McDonald, I think. That guy's fucking, that guy looks like sideneck. I came in at one point to make fun of this guy,

this country kind of guy who seems to be like a little something's wrong with him. He's like a midget or something. But it's more than midgety. Yeah. It's like a little TJ maybe or something like that. I don't know what it is, but he's... Oh yeah, this guy with Roseanne.

He's Canadian and he's just pumping out a mereslop. And that's Roseanne with him? That's Roseanne. Yeah, that's Rosanne. With full-blown braids, by the way. Side neck is no worse than this. I don't know. I mean, here's...

Here's the thing, these guys didn't have to overcome anything. Yeah. And sidneck overcame something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what, though, when we turn this off, I'll never remember how this goes at all. But if you find the original, the Instagram post or the reel of how bitch I'm sideneck, like, the initial viral thing went. It's immediately, it's this girl going, you blah, blah, blah, you fuck you, you and fuck you. Who do you think you are?

And just go figure, bitch, I'm sidneyx. Scary. I read the 30 on my smile, bitch and time, bitch. And I loved them. Oh, is she rapping? Stop it, stop it. Go back. Were you aware of this, Chris?

No, I just don't Tom McDonald. Wait, back that up. Did that happen? I feel fucking crazy. Can you subtitle this? Because does that just happen? When did this come out? I'm going to be honest with me now.

I'm going to be honest with me now. Immediately I like this song more than side neck. Oh no, side neck I didn't mean to do this I mean, well, I'll be honest with you I thought side neck was gonna be more shocking That was crazy This came out a year ago

What? I know How was this never on my radar? I think if everybody likes Roseanne Don't want to fucking trash her I'm absolutely fine trashing Roseanne I've already met her and had the like Oh man you're Roseanne

And she acknowledged me And we had to have some laughs together And then now she's a fucking lunatic cycle I can just point that out Yeah, we don't have long term friendship Yeah, but you got the experience she wanted. You got to meet Roseanne. She did the festival. People loved her.

Yeah, sure. She had a good time. Yeah. It's a rap. Oh, the jab. That's the anti-backs. I hate that goddamn vaccine. They won't write it. Why they try to turn Becky and the Dan? Start that verse over again so I can memorize it. I know.

Good God. Here, hang on. Well, this is karaoke night. Oh, no doubt. own CD, sir. This won't be in your library. The instrumental or the lyrics won't. This is wild. Oh, Pat McAfee's album drops to tonight at midnight. Can't wait.

Is that true? Yeah, it's true, yeah. A music? Matt McAfee released the whole country rap album. He's a piece of shit. I mean, oh. Here we go.

Say that I'm a racist. Take that jab. The jab. it's okay it's like the N-word if I'm singing a song it's okay no black Lou said oh good oh who you on the wrong

is that HR what's that you talking HR over there Lou see you on the phone well there's still the office at this time shit you came back in why because this is the new bonfire opening theme song

it's just a loop of that part of that part though yeah yeah they get it oh my god he's really good why is she not in here's the thing She doesn't think this is funny.

She might. She doesn't. I mean, how could she not? She's Razan. Like, how could she not think that's funny? I think she's having fun with it. I don't think she's going, like, I'm doing a pure comedy thing.

Oh, no, I think she's like, what I'm saying is meaningful, but the rap's funny. Yeah, she thinks she's really poning everyone here. Oh, I don't think she thought the rap was fun. I think she thinks the rap was fucking dope. Yeah, it was like on brand. Whatever her age calls dope.

Rad? No. Spiffy? Groovy? The ticket's groovy. Oh, man, I'd be groovy. Damn, she was good. And he does a song of Ben Shapiro? Oh, yeah. Ben Shapiro raps.

Oh, Jews historically good rappers. MC Search. Uh-huh. MC Search. Probably the other guy in third base. Oh, sure. Oh, God. Modus Yahoo.

Who else? The lead singer from Disturbed. That's rap. Beastie boys. They're chosen. They're chosen. Mostly Jewish. That's true.

Are we getting to the Ben Shapiro part? Yeah. Let me get a lead in. You know this one. Oh, yeah. Who's listening to this? Everybody listened to it. It's pronoun rap.

All of us listen to it. I love it. He's a MAGA rapper. Yeah. Yeah, Tom McDonnell. Has there ever been a rapper that was like, I'm affiliated with a thing? There wasn't a Ronald Reagan rapper. I guess it is what I'm asking.

It's like, we're pumping crack. to the fucking community through the CIA. He goes, oh, dude, I'm an Eisenhower a lyricist. Oh, man.

That's crazy. Yeah. So once you come out as a Nixon rapper, just sample all those tapes from the white house. Who said something's not a basketball, a baseball bat in his pants?

Who the hell was just saying that? Top McDowell? The fuck are you following on Twitter? It's Alex Rodriguez. That's not a baseball. And it's TMZ. Yeah, because there's yeah, he's got a big, huge

Pecker, it says? No. This dick looks like a sideneck. Jayla wouldn't have walked away from that. Damn. I'll tell you what, if that's his dick, God bless, dude. Oh, wow, look at that.

That's awesome. It gets super big. From the juice? He was constantly doing and selling? It made it small. So you think that when he got off the juice because he got older, his dick came back to life. Yeah, yeah.

I heard Dick will come back to life. It could be after like eight hours if it's cold enough. This is what Flatliners was about. I mean, I think the one with fucking Juno Oh yeah The one with Juno in it for sure I did go to see Guns and Roses last night

At the Meadowlands I saw them years ago I think like 10 years ago at the Meadowlands I was at the same show That's where I got gout Oh you got gout Yeah yeah You know shockingly I don't have gout

I don't know why Yeah No How would you? I'll never get it 43 43 Yeah so I saw

It was great. Nostalgia. They make them sound great from front of house. Did you go on on time? You way on time because we didn't get in there until like the second or third song. Oh shit. Pre-gaming?

Poundting tall boys in the parking lot? Just getting there. It was crazy. Just getting there and park. But no traffic. We were there after, you know, public enemy was done. So like there was no traffic. The cars were all done.

We just got to go in and park. They even, the guy gave us a cool like, you guys could park against the curb. over there like no one's gonna bother you one of the parties so we can be close to where we needed to be yeah he was like you can just park along the side there like it's fine so just don't block anybody in so I did that and then and then I started here as soon as I got out of the car started hearing welcome to the jungle I was like oh shit I'm missing is one of my favorite songs by them I just let's let's make it better from hearing into the parking lot they

opened with it always oh you got to set the tone I do not enjoy the outfits he chose for this tour. That's sparkly flannel. Oh shit, that's Axel? Yeah. I guess it's singing into a microphone, so it should be. It's a flannel with fucking sparkles on. Badazzled. And he's got three or four different colors over the course of the show. In between what becomes sweaty t-shirts that start hugging his dad bod. It's a bummer. It's my own mortality that gets me about watching it. It's not them. It's not their fault. They're happy to be doing it. He's out there doing what he can at his advanced age. Slash looks good. Yeah. No.

He's got Dad Bod too. Duff McCagin looks great. I like Dad Badz. I don't want to see someone ripped. No, but not rip, but I mean, if he was just even thin still, it would look cool. Oh, yeah, but they were kids. He's got like a dad tit coming out of the side of his cut off shirt. Pop it out in a hip.

It's just a fact. It is what it is. But Axel was moving, and he sounded good. Like, in front of house, he sounded good. I don't know what they're doing to his voice, but he was, and he was going for it on songs where it was, like, notes, like big notes. He was going for him. He should wear a wig just to bring back the old fucking...

Or I said this. Do the fucking... Do the trucker hat and a fucking bandana. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do the look. Like, do some... There's no reason to do what he's doing. He's dressed like an old queen doing fucking, like, a review show.

Yeah. It doesn't look good. Duff McCagan looks awesome. Oh, yeah, he looks. He's ripped. Look at that. Perfect. And then the other problem with the concert was too much of this.

They are... They did a handful. or more of songs that I just was like... Who cares? I don't know it. And then another couple ones that I'm like, you probably should have put this song in and took this one out. Sounds like most of the show was Chinese democracy.

No, maybe. I don't know what was on Chinese monarchy, but there was definitely songs off of it, for sure. That's weird. Were people popping for them, the songs you didn't know? Or was everyone just kind of like, please let this be over, get to the hit? Yeah.

Like this isn't even a song that should be sang by guns and whatever this is. A little, do you know it? Bad obsession, Use Your Illusion 1. Sucks. He's singing a low register, which is all he can do. It doesn't matter. That's just an ass song. Stop being an apologist, Lou.

You're being an apologist. And Use Your Illusion 1 and 2. You should have just been one album called Use Your Illusion 3, and it could have been five songs long. They made two albums for no reason. The band didn't like those songs? it was Axel Rose jerking himself off That's right

But that would have been the time to see him It looks like the time to see Guns and Roses Would have been Use Your Illusion Tour Because the band was still into playing the songs From the other two albums And they just got through November rain and fucking whatever

And let him jerk himself off Yeah yeah Buss out of ballad They do seem like they're having a lot of fun Right now But they're like Axel Rose is smiling A lot talking to the audience He's having a good time

Like He tried telling a story story that no one quite understood. What was it about? Yeah, see if you can get to, I don't, what the fuck is he started, like, complaining about something? Oh, but, like, where in the show it was?

About going to a doctor. Oh, that's not good, man. It's bad dancing. That's my problem. Yeah. If your voice is going, at least dance. The man needs to dance. Get off his dick.

It's very easy to do the snakey dance. It is easy to do the sneaky dance. We could all do the sneaky dance right now. I saw him do a half-ass version of the snakey dance. He's older, you know what I mean? He doesn't even try. He doesn't even try. He's the big thing is walking backwards.

and switching the microphone from hand to hand. That's not a dance, you jack off. If you find out where Slash's solo is, it's right before Slash's Solo when he introduces the band. He keeps trying to go back to something. He went to a doctor somewhere that said something, and he was like, he's like, ah, I'm not going to, a dentist. So I hit him in the face, and he was like my tooth,

he's like, but my dentist, he's like, and this guy was like, this is going to be a problem, so I got out of there. Anyway, Duff McCagan, we got the new guy over here on drums, he goes, that new guy never understand. these kind of dental issues over here I got. Man, this thing is just like, and this doctor was like,

we're going to do this. I'm like, get out of here. And then he would take my insurance. Slash. No, if you look in comments, someone will always tell you time moments of where things are. Someone makes a list. How do you not know the internet? Why do I know the internet more like a child than you do?

All right, these are just underwear ads we're looking at. Well, I don't know if in the list of songs it's going to be like. Slash a solo, absolutely. Oh, here we go. Thank you. Chad. They chapped. Right before that. Just like I said, yeah. Bad obsession stunk.

So many of the songs were like ass choices. And again, personal things. I could do for, listen, if I never hear Sweet Shot of Mine again, it's okay. But if just like Piano Man, I feel that way. But if I go to see Billy Joel in concert, play Piano Man. And nail it. And I'm going to say, I'm going to be excited. Sweet Chown of Mine is going to be great when you're there.

How is patience? Great. What did they end on? What was the encore? Always Paradise City. Oh, is it? Yeah, by the time they got to the take me down the Paradise City parts, my feet were already outside of the arena. Oh, gouted up.

That's a good feeling. because of gout. This time was because knowing I'm like, I'm not fighting this traffic for the next. For Paradise City, that song means nothing to me. Not with this gout. It's going to be before his solo. Yeah, doctor says bugs bunnies in my ear. You want to suck my dick while I do coke off your asshole? Are you in heroin right now? I wonder if this worked in Europe. It didn't work at the metal left. He keeps going.

He's not done yet, I don't think. This is rehearsed, obviously. He thinks this fucking story. Pause it? I can't say you're wrong about that for sure because John Cougar Mellon camp I mean, rehearses his terrible, long stories, and until people eventually heckle him, and he leaves early.

Oh, that's sad, man. It was so funny. Yeah. That video was so funny. He goes, he goes, shut up, man. He's telling the story. It's a story about a thing. And he goes, little ditty about, you know what?

I don't even want to do this. It just leaves. Stop with the stories and do the ditty. That's literally he goes, Lil ditty about Jacket. You know what? This isn't even fun anymore. You guys suck. I like that.

I like starting it first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the best part. Little ditty, I'm not a fucking dancing monkey for you people. Fuck you. You're all monsters. You immediately fell when people are booing you and you go, wait, wait, wait, will you like this? Maybe you like this?

Fuck you guys. Yeah. This is my heart. Suck my dick. I got 15 minutes on a TMJ. Go ahead. Oh, yeah, TMJ speech ain't over yet. New drummer.

You can tell by his young nipples. Oh, yeah, so young. And by the way, two slash solos, and I gotta tell you, he's just getting older. The guy still shreds, obviously, shreds, but it's just not what it used to be. His solos used to probably be, like, running around the stage and having the guitar out and the side.

And now it's just like, hey, you guys want to hear a little blues folk? He's tired, man. I'm going to take you through this. It's like 40 years. Yeah, I mean, he's like, at least I'm out in the back in a hyperbolic chamber like an axel right now, changing outfits.

I'm not getting my blood, completely changed in the back. We have 18 year old fresh blood for Axel. Too long of a show, for sure. How long was it? Then you cut. Three hours they played almost. They got a cut. We're here. How long does it say this concert is?

Three hours. Three hours? Yeah, three hour, nine minutes. I mean, they went. God damn. That's every song they played. But that's almost it. It's not every song. Yeah. It's a lot of the songs. And then a bunch of ones you don't need it all. They didn't. They didn't. mercifully this time didn't play Wichita Lineman. What a dumb song would play. I like that song.

That song's great. I like it too. But Guns and Roses shouldn't be doing it in there. I like Axel's take on it. I do too. But you don't need that in the set list of a live show. Do you want to see Melanchett way out? It's one of my favorites. Have you ever seen this, Chris?

No. He does not like a stupid story, and he tells dumb stories. No, he's getting booed for real. And then what? He's going to blow it. Yeah, he goes, and then what? All five foot one, old man who only talks about what a good dancer he is.

Never said I'm a good fighter. Not one song says, in fact, the only time he says he fights authority, he says they always win 100% of the time. Sounds like my dad. My dad fucking would tell me fight stories all the time, and everyone he lost. It was a story. And then I got fucked up.

I talked some shit, I got jumped. One time, just one fucking story after another. They're just fighting in the 70s. But that's so funny. Finder that guy is. Let me see me after the show. It's the gigantic black security guard, Mr. Mellencamp. Never mind then.

I'll be going to my trailer. At ease. He's like, I'm just going to go home if that's what you guys want to do. It's fantastic. Just fucking with that. Bad Jack, you know what? I'm not up here fucking perform for you mean pieces of shit. Don't want to hear my stupid fucking stories.

I'm going to punish you. Dude, his stories suck. If you could find that one, I'd play that for, Chris, dude, the story he tells to get to a song that no one knows. It's a new song. A long story about going to meet. He's trying to relate to the blue-collar audience. He feels he has at the Beacon Theater here.

Sure, yeah. And so when he tells you, he was at a meeting with some agents, I had to be out there in L. L.A. Big-time Hollywood agents. Yeah, he goes, and we're at this place. I swear to you, he does the thing. He goes, and I don't know. We're at some plate.

They're ordering, like, Philette Mignin. I don't know, whatever you call it, like some kind of thing. I don't know. I'm just a meat and potatoes guy. Lobsto? I'm just like, yeah, I don't know. I'm confused. And then I see this girl outside walking around.

And basically he says, like, he goes out there and asks her if she's okay. And she gives him, like, a sad sex story. Aw. And then he gives her money. And he doesn't think he's being funny, by the way. He goes, like, and then she ran off. And different varying versions of, she said, thank you, sir. Now I don't have to suck cock for my dinner tonight.

This song's about her. Lonely girl in a drug, in the cog and herb jaw. All fentanyl packs. Suck it in all the fannolololol. It's such a bad story. Smoking Tina at the same time. Right when he starts the song, you're like, what the fuck did he just say?

It was so crazy. Thank you, sir. Now I don't have to have sex for money before. Oh, my God. And at the middle of it, he's like, I go, well, where? She goes, I'm far from home. I said, where's home, honey? And she said, you know, Portland, Oregon or something.

He's like, far away. And she goes, I don't have money for a ticket to get back there. And he goes, you know what family to get back to your home there? She goes, I have no home there anymore. It's like some kind of shit like that. So the crowd goes like, oh. No. Sounds like blindside.

Yeah. And then he goes, and then at the very end he goes, and she says, I offer $200. I said, how much is the bus ticket? Yeah. And I told her. And she goes, it must be. the most interesting that's ever happened to him interesting thing because he

how much what you this story is so dumb she grabs the money out of his hand and runs off and before she hits the woods turns around and goes thank you mister now I don't have to suck cock before my dinner tonight at least for tonight but tomorrow night what if she's to live with her family and she's used

as a sucker father's cock for dinner yeah but if I give him $200 he won't make me suck his cock my father says if I bring him $200 a dad don't have to suck his cock this song everyone's about CENT. Hot, right? Helping a little girl so we're daddy doesn't fuck her face.

Oh, little ditty. About a girl getting her face fucked by her dad. What? This is different for when I remember. Ain't that America. Huh? Excuse? I'm pardon.

Pardon? I never got my face fuck by my dad. I can't relate to this song. That's okay, sweetheart. You can still dance, dude, right? It sounds like he Yuba trafficked her, and he's lying about the her fucking getting home part. Yeah, I think he's at multiple songs where he brags about being a good dancer, which is always weird. And then you watch him dance, and it's just a stupid old, like, it's, like how an auntie dances at a wedding.

Yeah, it's just snaps and leg bops. And that's cool. That's good. It's footloose style, dude. It is footloose style. It's definitely guy in tight jeans and a white t-shirt style. Yeah. Maybe rocking some cowboy boots, but not because they're cowboys, because they're roared, because they're

rockers. Yeah, they're rockers and they fucking have style. Hung and dig around. Oh, wig and lao. I love John Cougar Mellon camp music. Hell yeah. Some people hate it. Really? I do John Cougar Mellon Camp. Soda doesn't like it. Soda said he hated John Cougar Mellon camp. Sotom's a 49ers fan. He can't trust him.

I don't trust him. Not for the, and that's the main reason. The NFL starts tonight. The preseason starts tonight. What's this? Just him dancing. Oh, yeah. This is good. It's not bad. But it's just very, it's kind of, it's like white girl seeming.

It's like white Motown. It's also, the arm motions are a little like Napoleon Dynamitey. Okay, well, that was my entire dream in life was to be able to do that. I didn't realize he did the dance split. In fucking jeans, no less. Damn, he is a real good dancer. What if, uh, in the video. This is the song where he tells you he's a good dancer.

The lyrics, he goes, I know, I'm a real good dancer. And he's great. It's a table hours and chairs match. He's just on fucking... I'll tell you what, he's so tiny. The guy really is just like a... It's like fucking watching Spider-Man work.

Imagine he did the split and his cock just fucking fall out like Lenny Kravitz and they kept it in the video. Man, I've never seen a white guy enjoyed dancing this much. That wasn't gay. Elvis.

Half Michael Jackson, I guess. Michael Jackson by the end. Elvis did like dancing, too. He loved it, too. Dare I say, John Cougar Mellencamp, better dance than Elvis? I mean, you both have the hips. The problem is the media landscape at this time was so saturated. You know what I mean?

Elvis had the Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan? I can't remember. Everyone watched it. All the hips. 80 million people watching. Yeah, but he's doing a full routine over here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Elvis just fucking, Elvis just gyrated. Yeah. Until he does, uh, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, suspicious minds, right? My favorite when he really starts fucking like just way of doing fucking air karate? Hell yeah. Yeah, first, Elvis Stunk. I think Mellencamp

had a stunt double in that video, though. How dare you? I swear. Look it up. Lou, you shut your mouth. Lou, let that be true. Did you just ruin my entire childhood of cheering while John Cougar Mellon camp danced? Dance more, John. John Duke Mellon Camp, you have lied to me for the last time.

You said you're a real good dancer. He's still a real good dancer. Not if he's not doing that. If he's a real good dancer, he should be able to handle whatever it was in that video. There's no way he's sliding down that big huge ladder. Really? That ladder thing he just did? He's five foot one.

Egg on their face. He's a great dancer. No, he's like a park horse expert. He's tiny. That was the first parkour, actually. That was the first parkour. That's a fun fact. You don't get that when Chris is in here.

That's right. I'm full of them. I'm sorry you feel stupid because Chris is here. Hey, get this bullshit fucking young Elie. us out of here just show me his fucking dick bouncing around in his fucking panties I want to see what is this for is Megadeth what's this going on that's for nothing

you just want to watch fucking is auto play on trying to fucking jill off later's some fucking Skid Row Wembley Skid Row Wembley That's for you I would jill do it On what looks like VHS

Man if I'd a sniz I would totally rub one out to I remember you live at Wembley Cut a big fucking rail and just Jack Absolutely Just fucking Jack Put a little on the dick hole so I take a while to come too. Enjoy it. Yeah, yeah.

You got a goon, dog. You got an air with a goon state. Full goon state. Full goon state. Guess what? It's not about coming. It's about not coming. It's about getting there.

It's about getting there, but not going there. Yeah. I think that's how you get that Peroni's disease. I think you bend your dick. Oh, he's so fucking weird. It's like, remember Yuri Geller? The guy, he would bend the spoons because he was creating the heat with the friction while he's, like, talking to you all the time. Eventually, I think your wiener bone.

will start bending because it's not bone. Yeah, yeah, because it's just flesh. It's a cartilage in there or something. Filled blood. Right. Right. We know stuff about dick.

Is this? Now, I don't know what you have on here because YouTube, you just look at it what's most watched Elvis video because it's this. Yeah, there he goes. It is. Uncorkit.

This is when he did karate between every fucking verse. Talk about being gacked up. Bigger screen. Hold on, let me get on YouTube. I'll make it bigger. That fucking, that goddamn his outfit is awesome. Oh, God damn it.

Why is everything I say have to be right? Do you think it makes me feel good, making you feel ridiculous every day here, Christine? Yes. Do you think that makes me feel good? I think you love it. Describing you how you could be searching things so much better. Remember when you came over and tried to do it and you couldn't find anything? Nope.

I don't remember that even at all. Did that even happen? Uh-huh. Really? Tree falls in a wood, bitch. It's false It's there It makes a sound

It does make a sound Still no matter what Now fucking Fucking full-sized me He gets into it I like the no shirt Yeah well he wasn't fat here yet No no no no

He was just like scruffy And this is when he was becoming like an outward piece of shit This is when the world was starting to see Yeah this was after the war Obviously this is in color Is this Vegas? Yeah But this is him like

This is You know, you saw that backstage footage they had him a while back, right, where he's like, get the best head and so-and-soville. Yeah, yeah, it's great. He's like, oh, those girls on there, man, 14 years old. Suck your balls right through your dickhole. What a... It's something like that.

I'm paraphrasing. Just a dumb redneck who just was the most popular man on the planet. It's like, how the fuck? A pedophile redneck is the most famous person in the world. Just the most famous person in the world, filled with pills and coke. And just like scumbags all around him. I love it, dude.

Feeding him, coke and pills. Absolutely, dude. Do you die taking a fucking steamer? Yeah. That's great. The most popular band on the planet. Dies on a shitter. Yeah.

That you can't go see in Graceland, apparently. Oh, really? I never been. Me either. But you can't go up to the toilet. I may have just seen it on a TV show that was a fictitious drama. It's a reenactment. Oh, look at him.

Pipe band Black Chicks. See that? Different time, Lou. I would never talk to you like that. That was the booze talk. He goes, pipe down, black chicks. Whoa. Yeah, dude.

I would have, tell you what, though, the greatest showman alive. I'm not a huge Elvis fan. I like a handful of songs just from repetition of hearing them. But if I saw this show live, I'd be like, that was awesome. I'd go, if I was a kid and saw this, I'd be like, I would have memories be like, you know, that guy goes for it. Blows axle away. I would never fucking, I would never stop doing the fucking, uh-huh, honka, honka, this is great.

He belies. He was so famous he believed he knew karate. Yeah, yeah. People around him just go like, no, you're a black belt. And now, he goes, I've only been doing it for like a week. He's like, you're natural, man. It's crazy. He's only fighting his friends.

Yeah. It's everything is a squash match. It's like when a, it's like what a Stephen Segal now? He does like the Russian demonstration. And they just walk in him. I said it's like when, it's like when Razor Ramon came back when he was all decrepit and fucked up on drugs. Sure. And the guys had to react to his weird, like, nothing karate moves.

Yeah, because he had, he was, there was a bluff in the tank. He couldn't move, yeah. That's what Elvis fights were like, yeah, the, the Steven Seagall's are so great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's so great. This last chapter of his life is fucking nuts. Just like living in Russia. It's crazy.

Yeah, it's like Putin loves them. Yeah. Yeah, so I guess it's like the Kim Jong-un, head of Rodman. They always pick a fucking, like, a weird American that they just okay with. I'm surprised that American always agrees by the way to not care about whatever that person's policies are and they go I'll go meet them Do the dictators just murdering people constantly? Yeah, I'll play his birthday though It's good money I would have man I would have turned down Riyadh for such the wrong reasons

Because I was like the if there's a amount of money that can get me to go for sure It's literally the reasons I'm not going are more like I'm like I see it so more racist than anybody else. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to go there and immediately get kidnapped or gun down the streets, because it's all just sand and guys with turbans and guns, right?

Yeah, but they're all rich. Right. Every citizen there is fucking low-lawful. Yeah, I'm just like, I'll fuck it up. It's nothing to do. It's like, if I go, if they go, it'll be a couple things. If they go, you will be able to be B.A. Baracchus, karate chopped and sleep through the whole flight because that flight would suck. How long is that flight?

16 hours? Whatever is. I'm sure it's ass. Yeah, yeah. But you probably would I'm going to throw at emirates. You get the pod. Maybe. Get pissed drunk. Okay. Definitely would have done that. Like twice. You get pissed drunk twice. You fly me emirates? I'm already thinking about going. Now how much are we talking for money. It's just the money. But that money's going to have to be just like the one. I feel like I'm going to bomb.

I've gone to plenty of out-of-country English-speaking places and I still, for some reason, resort to talking to them like they don't speak English. You know, I really am like looking, I'm pointing at my mouth, so I'm talking phonetically. I panic and slow down too much, and I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and I hate it. So overseas comedy I already don't like. Now, if there are me $1.2 million, I'll sort all those things out, for sure. For sure. But they wouldn't have offered me that, and what they would have offered me, I would have said no, but it would have been like, why? Is it because of our woman beating and murderous policies?

I go, no, I don't think you guys have, like, Hulu, and I have to watch American Dad when I go to bed. And I just don't know how to use a VPN. I don't, and I do, but like, I don't trust it'll work there. You guys might block American VPNs because it's got so much freedom in it. So much freedom. And I might want to whack off in one of those days. Oh, there's no porn. Yeah.

Well, VPN life, dude. Oh, yeah. I got one. It's great. I got one, too. Oh, look at you. Most times, though, but here's what I'm happening. Most times when I go on the road and I have things not working, I go, oh, I bet it's angry.

I have a VPN, and you turn your VPN off, and then everything works again. magically. It's weird. They try to stop you from using it for some reason. Yeah, they don't want you to use it. Yeah, they'll say shit doesn't. Yeah, it turns out they really don't want you to jerk off in Texas. No. They're like pissed that I'm trying behind their backs. God forbid. God forbid. They want you using your goddamn imagination. Yeah, hey, get your balls all backed up and fucking go by guns at a fucking corner store. That's a brilliant fucking mix. Steven Segal has a very deeply publicized decades-long affinity for Russia and a close personal friendship with President Putin, who he called one of the great living world

leaders. I guess. Listen, we have to acknowledge. I don't know if you know this, but at one point in Steven Seagal's time, while undercover, his family was murdered, except one of his sons. He comes to find out, but he was also attacked in his own house and his super hot wife, who showed her titty's briefly before, was murdered. And then they thought he was also dead, but he was just in a six-month coma, which we do know can do some sort of brain damage to you. And also when he woke up from a coma, I don't know if you know this.

Even though he had a pretty hot nurse who took care of him, I think it was a girl that was created by the weird science guys. Oh, yeah. She was so hot. Immediately, out of coma, immediately, still wizard beard and fucking long nails. Fights from a bed to disperse with several bad guys

while navigating a hospital bed with a broomstaboard. with a broomstick ore out of the hospital. Yeah. So he did all that. Yeah. So keep that in mind that now he might be making

weird decisions. Okay, sure. Making new friends. He was in a fucking coma for six years. That's a lot. Yeah. I'm surprised his arms

worked after that. His arms, his legs didn't work for some reason, but his arms tip top. They were just working those arms every day. He used that,

that fucking broom was like a bow staff. And I'll be honest with, Kelly LeBrock was no help. No. When he was on a train. Well, it was his cooking phase. I think after the undercover thing went so haywire,

he was like, let me get in the sheffing. But you can't take that undercover out of him. And when there's problems, and then you got fucking Erica Lineak in there showing her fucking Canzola's. Did a giant birthday cake. Yeah, and you know, a fucking in-cell like Gary Busey's over there,

fucking all pissed off because she doesn't want to fucking... She ain't fucking him. That's for damn sure. And so he's right away like, she's a fucking whore because she won't fuck me, which doesn't even make it flawed logic. And Stephen Segal's forced to step in. What do you want to do?

Oh, yeah, we got to take a break. Sorry. I was just telling... I'm doing the book on tape for Stephen Segal's life story. These are all true stories from his life. I'm auditioning for it. Yeah, that's all after he killed Richie, by the way.

And beat that guy up with a pool ball. Chris Stanley is on Bennington. Did you know that? It's right here on Faction Talk 103, weekdays, noon to two, and also on High Society Radio on Gas, Digital, and YouTube. Hilarious. Check them all out. And follow at Bennington, SXM, on social. and listen to the portcast.

Michael Chey? Michael Chee, yeah, yeah, I just saw the beginning of it. Does he cry eventually? It's spoiler. Don't tell us. I'm not good. You got to watch. Don't tell us.

Yeah, I'm wondering how far down the line of degrees of separation from Ron, I'm going to have to see comedians in there before I'm invited to the podcast. You were invited last week. You couldn't do it. Oh. He's got time. Listen, the one thing we all for sure have here is time. Let's remember that.

I'm going to be at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Michigan, August 21st, to the 23rd. After that, Albany, Virginia Beach, Baltimore, and Cleveland. For tickets and all tour dates, visit bigjaycomedy. And make sure you listen to Legion of Skanks and Story Wars where you listen to stuff. Bobby Kelly. Saratoga Springs, September 11th, and 12th, Brooklyn, New York on September 26. After that, Port Charlotte, Florida, Boston, and New Orleans. For tickets and all tour dates, visit punchup.

com. And check out his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. and see him every Tuesday night. Feb-like Puskegat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. All right. We'll be right back, for real this time.