The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Simple Jake & The Boyz

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

It's DJ Lou's milestone birthday and Jay has him phone his twin brother to compare dongs. Jacob promotes a listener's business and gets accused of being a simp for The Bonfire spokesmodel. Jacob takes the criticism pretty hard. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly The In case that horse you can't defend has no doors Burning with determination to demon up the storm Hearts on fire, strong desire Rage is deep within Long desire, rage is beckoning Hearts on fire, fevers rising high The moment the truth draws near I'm afraid for the first time in my life I'm afraid. Rocky 4 dude. I've been working on my smile. My Hollywood ready? Yeah. Say hi. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Rocky IV, dude.

I've been working on my smile. My Hollywood, ready? Yeah. Say hi. Bobby? Hey, how you doing? Top teeth, it's important. Top teeth.

Gotta get a little top teeth, look. Top teeth. Call me. Jay, how you doing? Hey. Top teeth. Top teeth. Not bottom, bottom teeth is bad, ready?

The most important thing. Oh. Oh. We're using. I've got it. I've got it. Sorry. Bobby pegged it. Sorry. We're vamping here. It's a very special day. One of my favorite words. Vamping. Oh yeah. Sometimes you have to vamp. Ah. It's have to vamp. It's somebody's birthday. Happy birthday to Lou.

Happy birthday to Lou. Happy birthday dear DJ Lou. Happy birthday to you. You're the comeback king. Here he come, the comeback king. Did you know what else sang besides you two? Jacob doesn't mean it. You had my mic off.

And Black Lou didn't want to overpower us with his booming fucking bass. I was. Well, Black Lou was supposed to come in in the middle of the song and start talking goes Lou you know what's one of them birthdays where you just gotta say oh hell fuck it man I'm gonna zin till my fucking Pekka falls I got four packs of zins what a special day yeah big day the big five oh Lou 49 that's what I meant. Thank you. 49?

I thought it was 50. Isn't 50... Lady never tells. Are you 50? Oh, no, I'm 50. Yeah! Lou is old, Lou is old, Lou is old. I was telling in the meeting today with Big Jim that I was...

Jacob was 55 by the time I learned he was 50. Oh, yeah, you... I'm 55. How old are you? 53. You're 53? I was telling in the meeting today with Big Jim that I was, Jacob was 55 by the time I learned he was 50. Oh yeah, you're 55. How old are you? 53. You're not, you're 53? I'm 53, we're the same age. Be proud of your age, Jacob, you're a man.

Everything's fine, dude. I don't wanna love it, but I'm- You dress 60. I dress rock and roll. What, rock and roll when, in the 20s? Yeah, what rock and roll, do-op era? Yeah, yeah. You know, you're like the Fonzie on the first

episode when he didn't have the cool leather yet. He had a barracuda. I've been watching, funny you mentioned that, I've been watching clips of Happy Days. Yeah. Specifically when Fonzie gets into a fight and he can't fight and he's always just shifting so that the the guy was about to clop him, flies through a wall. It's called the keto. Yeah. What were the odds that Henry Winkler thought he was gonna get the role of like a cool guy in something? Yeah. It's pretty, his name is Henry Winkler. Yeah. That hit him all through school. The Winkler part? Henry Winkler, the whole thing, Henry. Such a sweet little nerd too.

Foley is named Henry, Henry Foley. You know, Foley and... H Foley. Everybody goes H Foley, cause Henry's elderly sounding. Yeah, it's either that or serial killer. Yes, Henry the serial killer it also could be. Lou, how's 50 been?

It's fine, just like 49. How'd you celebrate? Once at my brother's bar, had a band, had some shots. Nice. They had a band for your birthday? No, they just have a band every night but the celebration on the flyer was Will and Lou's birthday, twin birthday. Oh, fuck yeah, that's right, you're twin, you had the same fucking birthday, you gotta celebrate together. Both 50, that was nuts. Yeah. Did you either get laid that night? Absolutely not. Neither of you?

No. What do you do, do you jack each other off and see if you do it the same way? Is that how you put the candles out? You jizzed into the candle? A half century in, you guys should do that. You should jerk each other off and see if you can make each other come,

because you like the same things. It's about time, the curiosity's been killing me. Hasn't it though? Yeah. Do you guys have the same penis? I don about time. The curiosity's been killing me. Hasn't it, though? Yeah. What will? Do you guys have the same penis? I don't know. You've never seen it? Can we find that on the show?

No. Why, dude? I wonder if it'd be. This would put us over the edge, dude. Stern never did that. Stern never had twin boys show if they have the same dicks. Do you? Dude, this would be the first thing where we could say,

we took nothing from Howard Stern. You could lay no claim to that. Twin boys comparing dicks. I would like to see that. Are you identical? Are you identical? I call them a fruit. That's my favorite slang.

You fruit. You really do dress like a fruit. Sorry. It's not true. Why, it's not true. That's a fruit response. Rugged cowboy. No, today is definitely a, yeah, today you look soft.

Today's a very soft look. I had something to go to today. Yeah, don't take the subway home. Not like that. I have no choice. Well then put your wallet in your sock. You're asking for it today. Take your wallet and put it in your slack sock

that comes up to your knee. This isn't the... Put it in your slack sock that comes up to your knee. This isn't the... Put it in your sock garters. Yeah. This isn't my usual dress. It's not. I'll agree, it's not your usual dress. No.

It's for, yeah. What did you have, was it something fun? No. Don't poke. I just said, was it something fun? No. I'm just backing off. Something sad?

Yes. It was sad. Christ, what was it? Lou I'm backing off. Something sad? Yes. It was sad. Christ, what was it? Lou's 50th birthday? Sure was. Lou, were you identical twins? No. Oh, okay.

What? Yes, you were. Well, there was no ultrasound, but the doctor said- Why? Because- Your mom didn't know she was pregnant? Was it one of them stories?

That's right. She didn't know I was in there. With twins. She didn't know she had twins? She thought it was one eight pound baby, but it was actually two stories? That's right. She didn't know I was in there. With twins. She didn't know she had twins? She thought it was one eight pound baby, but it was actually two 4.7 pound babies. And when my brother came out, they go, ooh, there's another one in there.

Damn, your mom couldn't even do math right. The doctor went, yuck, there's another one. What's Will's status with the ladies? Who is that? He's straight. Who is that? He's straight. That's his bartender friend.

Ooh. Nice. That's Jen. Oh, nice. That looks like Happy Lou. Your brother looks like Happy You. Jen's got short nails, means she gives hand jobs still. And that I appreciate.

That's a Jersey girl, alright. Dude, that looks like a picture of you, Lou. Well... I mean, it looks exactly like a picture of you. My mom always said we were fraternal, that's all I could tell you. Your mom's a liar. Do you ever try to switch it up with a chick? Uh Yes, but we get jealous. So it didn't work out. Wait, what you got jealous like it was working Yeah, it could have easily worked. Yeah, you were gonna slide in or he was gonna slide in

It never got to that point because the jealousy overtook any kind of well you get you know What are you guys the one you guys So she didn't know you were twins. Did one of you just blast out of the closet in between one of the switches and was like, all right, man, that's enough. He had a Jewish girlfriend from Israel. Sorry to get political. Boo Israel. Boo Israel.

Sorry, guys. I go to Harvard. Boo. Boo, boo Israel. Boo Israel. Sorry guys, I go to Harvard. Boo. He met her bartending and he stood her up the next night going on their first date. She found me at my bar and said, pretended like she didn't know my brother,

like it was the first time meeting me, but she knew who we both were and took me to a hotel and porked me. And then when she was done, she said, I have to confess, I know your brother. And she already fucked him? No, no. But me, I thought it was like the right thing.

I'm like, well then you gotta get out of my bed because I don't wanna betray my brother. Lou, I am, wow, what a nerd. What an asshole, she's so hot. Did he bang her afterward? No, no. Oh. So to get What an asshole, she's so hot. Did he bang her afterward? No, no. Oh. So to get back at him, she porked me.

Oh, so when you said jealousy, I thought that one of you got jealous that the other one was being taken away by some bitchy girl. So that was the jealousy. You came out, get your hands off my brother. So she banged you just to fuck your brother? Yeah, just to get back at him.

But he did fuck her? He never fucked her. I took their first date and finished the job. Did you guys ever hook up with the same girl ever? Besides that one. Because I'll give you an easy out. We could track this girl down and she could tell us if you guys have the same penis. But if not, I'm gonna need to see them both.

I don't think so. if you guys have the same penis. But if not, I'm gonna need to see them both. Yeah. I don't think so. How crazy would that be if you both have the same exact penis? Can you call Will? And then what? Then what happens? I don't know, we have to-

It's for science, so then we know. Get Will to call in, I wanna wish him a happy 50th birthday. On the air. And we'll find out if we can do this. If he says yes, will you do it? Yes. Yes! Nice! Do you have to be fluffed? and we'll find out if we can do this. If he says yes, will you do it? Yes.

Yes! Nice. Do you have to be fluffed? I'd like to go in with a little preparation. Wow, here's the thing, we can't make sure you guys are equal hard. So we would just have to go with the, what would we do there?

Full ragers? Do we have to get him full ragers? Because what gets his brother hard is different than what gets Lou hard? No way, same. Same thing. You guys each get one fucking Puerto Rican butt cheek. We'd have to get a hot blonde and two guys with a small dog. Oh, dude.

Is that the Make-A-Wish kid they gave you guys? Because you guys look like adult Make-A-Wish kids. That's my nephew. Oh, what a cute little guy. I know. Little Mets fan. That's your sister's son. That's right.

Yes. And then you're the That's your sister's son. That's right. Yes. And then you're the two creepy uncles who come over. Couple old spinsters. You guys definitely have the same penis. Stop showing these pictures, I'm getting sweaty. You have the same penis. You guys look exactly the same. They're exactly the same with the exact same penis for sure.

What if one's fat and one's thin? One short one's longer. Can we ever not talk about penises on the show? Okay, let's move on. Can we talk about hot chicks like dudes do? No, dude, that's corny. What are we, Spike TV? Maxim magazine?

That's corny. Come on, it's my birthday, I want some puss. I think we have some fun nudity coming for you. Is it this week? He bailed, all right. What? He won't do a good bit, but I'll have to take over. What, what are you talking about?

I don't know what you're talking about. Well, I can't, I don't want to ruin the bit, so. That's currently happening, we're unaware of? Yeah. No, there's nothing currently happening, there's just a discussion that needs to be further discussed with YouTube, probably all fair. Oh, I got you, I got you, I got you. Lou, you are sweating profusely, why? I don't know, because I discussion that needs to be further discussed with YouTube probably. Oh, I got you. I got you

We are sweating profusely. Why I don't know You don't like your brother's use your brother calling in All right, I just want to wish you a happy birthday And ask me if I can see his penis and your penis together No, no, no, I'm sorry to say it. It's going to be solved with dick pics. You guys can fake. You can send the same dick twice to just.

We'll fake it too. Yeah. I think. Yeah, we need a newspaper next to you. Yeah. Or else I'm going to send the biggest black one I can find. There could be no pictures of it. But if you're going to do it through pictures,

I need full body shots. You could have a shirt on. You can AI things now. Yeah you have to be in studio. Yeah it has to be in studio live and we have to see them. You're so good with computers. I'm good with audio but not visual. What do you say he's calling in he's still psyched about it? Uh, he's not answering. Thank the Lord. That's not true. It's true call him you could lower your mic and call about it I'll be fine. We'll make sure everything's gonna be fine watch this Everything's gonna be so good Tell me it's an emergency here. We go. I hope you give his number out

How's he gonna hear you guys well this was your plan I was just gonna tell you to tell calm tell him to call in when he answers he can hear us He'll hear us. He'll hear us this way. It has a microphone on it. It'd be better if he's on the horn. He does not respect you. Oh, thank God.

He's probably getting, he's probably getting pussy for his birthday. Yeah, you got cupcakes and Zin. He's getting box. He gives Zin like John Bender in breakfast club a smoke up Johnny Well while we're waiting to hear from Tom to get a hold of you as soon as he can though if you could text him That please we do have an announcement to make here. Yeah, Jacob Is winning an award for me? I'm making it myself. I'm gonna make it out of soap. I'm gonna make you a trophy

for ultimate simp of the year. Jacob. Can I not root for a couple? You sure can. Yeah. And I do, die hard. No, so you know, our bonfire forever spokesmodel. Forever. Lynn, Lynn for the win.

Gorgeous Lynn and her awesome husband, Nolan. Nolan now has a Construction company basically a carpentry work handyman services 24 Manly is that it's quality construction too. I'm not gonna say that I have no idea if that's true. I've seen it You've seen his construction. I've seen his construction. It's quality. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean the guy's got another work There goes guys got a nice hammer for sure And it looks like he has bottomless spackle. Let's assume. Yes

Damn How do you not help this so Jacob You know in a whirlwind without that he came in today and we have an advertisement for no one's construction company. I just said, Hills Quality Construction. And he goes, but he goes,

I thought maybe we could promote Nolan's thing, because you know, they're such a great couple. I'm rooting for them so hard. And I go, they asked you to do that? Because I thought that was a little weird. And then he goes, no, I just told them I would. Why don't you ask first? But I understand, I'm not upset about it.

Could you simp hard for that girl, dude? I knew I would take the hit. But it's another level of simping to simp so hard. Simp is what? Simping is doing anything. I don't think, it doesn't sound good. Rollin's cum. I don't do that.

No one, no one, no one. No one, that too., no, and that too rolling rolling you don't want Rollins come No, you don't want that come Nolan definitely Jacob keep eating Nolan's come Keep sucking it out of the palm of his hand. Oh my lord Bobby eyes No one's wieners big enough to by the time the cum comes out of it. It's uh It's cold. What can I tell you? It's over for them for them. I've been a hard spot for them you got a real hard spot and it's right over him and into her and It's listen confusing to me to hills quality construction everybody

I want them to do well, though. That's genuine. I'm not going to give the number out. OK. You could check. I don't know where to check, then. We don't just give a number out on the radio. If everyone's going to go, dude, let me see a picture of your girl's pussy.

All right, yeah. Then check it out, then. You gave them the name. That's good. Hills quality. You don't think they're going to go to the website and do the same thing? Hills quality construction. Dude, come over and build a cabinet and send me a picture of your wife's good. You don't think they're gonna go to the website and do the same thing? Hills quality construction. Dude, come over and build a cabinet and send me a picture of your wife's box.

Yeah, the more I'm thinking of it, did they want you to do this? She was happier. They were happier you said you were gonna do this. Was he happy? I didn't talk to Nolan. Well, you probably should talk to the guy. You probably should talk to Nolan and I'll tell you why. You're just dealing with the-

Guaranteed he is. Well, let me tell you something. When Nolan and Lynn came out when I was in Houston Tejas, yeah They at one point I said Hey, do you want me to like kind of tell the fans that like this is Lynn you're here and I Know you'll be a celebrity the rest of the night and she was right away. Like she lit up. She wanted to know when No one did not was not a no and she didn't she went she pulled back and went no no no But then they talked about it again, so he's a little more

He's not out there as much says the person who's watched him fuck 50 times But his face his face also never in any of it right, but this isn't about This is about this is about quality quality construction. No, right? But his face his face also never in any of it Right, but this isn't about This is about this is about quality quality construction. No, right? That's what it's that's what you do when you're simping and Luz making a face behind you blackie. You have some thoughts too, right? He's doing nice things for the husband. It would if Lynn walked up to you and said Listen, I don't tell no on this at all. But I have I have to fuck you. You'd fuck her right in the bathroom here. No, I wouldn't.

Stop it. Are you crazy? Stop it, Jacob. Jacob, God damn it. I know it's confusing. It's not confusing. Jacob. It's a lie. Jacob, look at me.

I think I would pass a lie detector. Jacob, look at me. If you, if Lynn came up to you. Yeah, I think I would pass this. And wanted to make sweet love to you. Yeah, you'd say no Yes Wow, I can't believe the lies that come out of your face I am telling you this now. I think I would pass that

You think because I wouldn't want to come legion skanks night. We got the lie detector out I'll ask you the whole question. I'm not going to a another comedy show Well, we don't have a lie detector out. I'll ask you the whole question. I'm not going to another comedy show. Well, we don't have a lie detector here. We don't have a lie detector machine. You would... I think I would pass that. You would not. You would come in a brand new gutter that he made. Oh my God. You're such a liar. You're a lying...

I don't think I am. And then I'm lying to myself. Yeah, you're lying to yourself. You are. But I think I would pass this one. I really want to read this entire definition. Please, simping involves. Simping involves giving too much attention and affection, whether through gifts, compliments, or acts of service

as a way of seeking validation from someone else. That's the only thing I've done. This kind of excessive behavior usually comes from feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem. Second, simping can be damaging for both parties involved. You're hurting him by doing this. You're getting nothing out of this. Yeah, you do. Now you're setting up no one here to have non-stop harassment from people, talking about his wife's fucking rockin' snitch. Well, you brought that up.

That's how we know her. Yes. Right. I don't understand where we're going with this. We know her yes, right How many guys are gonna hey, can you build me a box I can store my come-in oh About that, you know what I'll just take the one you got and build yourself a new one But I think I would pass that to I had I Don't know how to explain it. I feel like, and this is the truth, it's confusing. I don't think you really have any interest

in Nolan's business getting out. No, you're wrong. Listen, I have. These are brownie points for Lynn. No, I've thought about this. Okay. I'm sure you have, naked. Yeah, I've thought about it.

I'd pass it also. You looked at it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, you knocked it around a little bit You flopped a little we have somebody on the phone Can I explain myself? I'm black lucent Not not will but we do have a caller on the line. Oh, but who? Who is it? It's Joe. He's got an idea. Oh, okay, Joe Joe nobody on the line Cincinnati Joe Joe Joe Okay, Joe Joe nobody on the line Cincinnati Joe Joe Joe Hi guys, how are you doing? Hey Joe pull up a log and sit it over by the bonfire

Thank you very much. Yeah, sit up with a bonfire and sprinkle some of Nolan's jizz on the fire. See what happens. Hey go Joe go take the rope swing into the lake and then when you come out warm up by the bonfire you're on the bonfire thank you very little if Jacob would do it if Christine was the one guiding the whole sexual encounter you know like I just get you and all that stuff I mean you know how he feels about Christine right sure oh he's been wanting to bed her down forever but he has never simped for Christine like this before this is a new level something I'm simping yeah okay I think this is it that's really can I explain now sure can Joe thank you for the call thank you Joe thanks for warming up by

the fire Joe Joe I hope that the fire warmed you on the call, Joe. Thank you, Joe. Thanks for warming up by the fire, Joe. Joe, I hope that the fire warmed you on the inside out. First of all, you have... Thanks for calling the bomb. But Jacob, our outro... I do have my own life. Jacob, we have our outros, please. Jacob, sorry.

Joe, uh, give me a favor. Clean up and leave it a little bit nicer than the way you found it. Yeah. Thanks, Joe. By the way, I gotta say... Big Joe, Chris and Robert Kelly. Yeah, thanks Joe by the way, I gotta say I Mean I knew though. I knew the bit was I was gonna take a beating for this, but it is worse than I thought You have a new nickname Jacob this simp I mean I knew it was going this direction. Yeah, but it hurts worse than I thought

I'll get you a hoodie. You know what hurts? Sometimes realizing things about yourself, you have these epiphany moments that it happens and you realize today that you don't give two fucks about Nolan's construction company. 100% you're wrong. You want Lynn to be like, what a nice thing. And then now what you're going to possibly get, Jacob, very possibly is some private videos. I won't do it. What do private Videos I won't do it

Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no, that's a lie. I'm talking about you'll get an email or a message We don't think she would and I was just for Jacobs, you know I'm opposed to it in the first place Jacob if she sent you can I private videos? I'm because you did this she sent you a private and in the video She looked at the camera Jacob went Jacob this is for you You wouldn't open it. You wouldn't want it. I've seen the ones on no, but she just wants you to wake up when she goes Jacob I'm coming for you right now. You're not gonna You almost came when I said it. I

Wish we had video today That face was crazy me up to a lie detector because detector because I'll pass this with a flying colors. Really? You can't. It's a skinks bit. I didn't even say why. Why? I cannot fantasize about anyone.

I 100% it's like it would be the same as me. I've never been able to fantasize about like a famous celebrity. Like if you, there's no way. So Christine ain't shit to you. She just some piece of shit producer. If it was Margot Robbie, never happened. No celebrity, no, no like CW star. My brain, as soon as I know there's no shot, I can't, I feel like a dildo creating that fantasy in my head so I've never been able to.

What about their fappening pictures? I don't, the only time I watch fappening pictures is when you put them up. I don't know what you mean. We mean the naked pictures of Supergirl from CW where she's getting fucked by that guy with her bush. So you think because I've seen the fappening pictures that Supergirl's gonna bang me? No, I'm not sure what that correlation is. Is she saying that you've never fantasized about Supergirl? No.

You've never, while you're alone, in your twin bed. No, hook me up and that's why the lint is the same thing. And that's why I'm telling you, you don't know how my brain works. Once I know that's not a possibility It doesn't it's never ever happened so Mm-hmm, I don't know why you think I'm full of shit because you're full of shit Jacob Jacob don't look now. She's sucking cock on video Jacob

Yeah, your girlfriend pulled put your head down. No, I've seen this and I'll watch it again Jacob, put your head down. Put your head down. You can't look at it. No, I've seen this and I'll watch it again. Why? Why would you watch it again? By the way. I don't have any problem watching it in here.

You're putting it up. Not cool. By the way, the closet was built by Nolan in the background of this. By the way, Hills Quality Construction. Quality Construction. Hills Quality Construction. Quality Construction.

Most of the rest of these pictures are God's work. But. Phenomenal. No. Where was I going? Well, I know you like them because you like the family unit they have. which is our God's work, but. Phenomenal. Now. Where was I going? Well, I know you like them because you like the family unit they have. Go to the next picture, Christine.

That's it. As a family unit, I realize that these two kids are out there and they're making their way, and you're trying to. Real Jack and Diane, Christine, scroll up, please. I'm not. Okay, now we're talking right there. Who was the only guy in the room

that told them not to do this? Huh. Who is the only guy in the room that told them not to do this? Huh? Who is the only one in the room that suggested they don't do this? I uh, Kristina, do we fair play on that one? Oh, it's a winking butt hole but there's no butt hole. Jacob, I'm looking at her butt hole because it's on the screen. Mmhmm, mmhmm. If you're listening, if you're listening, when could you grow a bush?

Just for a little bit. Thank you Construction companies so they can get away from all this and move on with their lives No, I mean, I think I'm what's the construction company to boom He wants this guy out of the house more Mm-hmm So he's he's gonna cheat and then Jacob will be the shoulder to cry on don't have that never happened I've never allowed myself to be that kind of a dildo the more work this guy has He's not on time. He's out of the house and she's stuffing hair brushes up her ass for Jacob. No Look at that hair brush right up that duker

Mm-hmm. Oh look at Bobby's face. Oh on her butt on her butt cheek. I don't know what it is Here's the thing. I think I definitely have regrets in life. Yeah And lying to us right now wonderful. It should be it should be I hope you have to sleep You're gonna be up all night tonight if you don't get this off your chest On your chest you're gonna get it off on your chest. I can't admit to Jacob This is a new one. I've never seen this in either of you. Don't look don't look though. I will look No, I'm gonna look not look. this is not what you're about with them. You just wanna make sure they make it.

No. I think I'm old fashioned, like I don't. Old fashioned? Meaning I don't get putting OnlyFans doing OnlyFans. Jacob, you have old fashioned, not old fashioned. Look at that, Jacob, not you. I've looked at every one of these Oh, why are you thinking I wouldn't nice gel manicure by the way Lynn? I mean speaking from a gel manicure guy

I got you guys actually have the same color nail polish on you cuz hot chicks think alike Whoa, look at her butthole that does nothing for you Jacob No, another quick question if you're listening Could you make your butthole do that thing where it like sucks in pushes back out like a dolphin hole? Oh, there's no one Hills quality construction. Everybody. I think you're construction. Everyone's all over your back.

Well, you're not doing slashing slashing prices all over your pussy. I don't think you're doing this a service. Why? I mean, if you're gonna have a guy work on your house, you might as well have a big cock, right? Might as well shoot fucking powerful young loads. Well, I guess. What if, so here's the thing,

he's doing construction in a small town. This is what you're picturing. This is what you're hoping for. He's doing small town construction, and then some local lady does something to him and then Lin finds out she's devastated. Who does she call? Jacob Batat, the only guy who understands and I know when you tried to help us in our times of whatever, if they break up who you rooting for? Break up? I don't want them to break up.

You want them to do. You want them to make it. it. You want them apart. You want them to succeed, get a quality. Do you think I don't, for real? I don't. I think you want to move to Colorado with her and take care of her bastard children. No. That's breaking up. Yeah.

So you believe I do. You want her to be with you. No. You want to take care of her. You don't believe that. I do. I think you want to take care of her on a ranch. I will take a lie detector test

On all these things sure yes I believe you're so if you man if you met if you met they go to skank fest this year And they come up to you, and they're like hey the business is booming. Thank you for that plug Jacob she's yours. I want you to spend I want you to have her tonight You wouldn't no get the fuck out of I said I'd pass it She's yours. I want you to spend some. I want you to have her. I won't. Tonight. No. You wouldn't. No. Get the fuck out of here.

I said I'd pass it. Why are you lying to us like that? What? Wait, even if he was like, If I pass. Cool with it? Yeah. Buddy, I'm telling you, that girl's pretty hot. I saw her in person.

You might have to figure out the consequences tomorrow. Jay, I think she's like, bonkers hot. She's like, AI created this. Yeah, she is. That's why you do all these crazy things for her. I don't do anything. Now you're making it things plural. Yeah.

You're trying to keep the husband out of the house. Yeah. How can we not plug in some dumpy girl in her husband who's an electrician? Hey, what's up? I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, aka The Rooster. I'm Big Jay Okerson. I only have one aka. I'm a cowboy. Look, if you love the bonfire, which you know you do, this is just half of the show. That's right. It's the podcast version, everybody. So if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious XM comm slash bonfire to get the whole thing

Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment, too It's not just us you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show You go to all kinds of other shows and you know what tell a friend But most importantly this show this show just go show. Just go to this show. Do something resembling anything. I bet her birthday is in your Google calendar, you psycho. I don't know her birthday. Hey, if there's any chicks out there with a hair lip with a plumber for a husband, send the ads in. Who's the bonfire spokesmodel?

Ladies, if you want us to plug any of your husband or boyfriend's business, send pussy and fuck videos to Jacob and the crew, I guess. We all might as well get a little benefit from this, and we will plug your husband's company. If she wasn't the spokesmodel, I wouldn't have done it. Well, now we're opening it up. We will do any, as long, oh, thinks... Didn't you think that was my anger?

As long as Jacob thinks you're hot we will plug your boyfriend or husband's business. I wouldn't do that. What? 100% because she was the the bonfire spokesmodel. Mm-hmm. So I wanted to help her out. Hey you know what Jacob? I believe you. I don't think you out. Let them out. Hey, you know what, Jacob? I believe you. I don't think you do. I'm getting this so... No. See, the wink says something else.

Jacob, let me tell you something right now. I believe you're sincere. Do you know that I take notes and I refuse to type in Jacob Simp? No, you can't type it in. Yeah, no, you don't have to type it in just yet. Just... Because I don't agree. No, and none of us agree that you're a have to. Yeah, no, you don't have to type it in just yet. Because I don't agree. No, and none of us agree that you're a simp.

I'll let Jay and Bobby say that. Buddy, you're definitely not a simp. Black Lou, thoughts? I don't want to blow up any spots, but Jacob requested that I help him sign up for OnlyFans just for this girl. She sent me an account, which I did not ask for. You have your own personal account.

But she'll send you a freebie for a month, yeah. But I would, I don't know, I'm conflicted, but I will do it. But I'll show you everything in our program. You made an ad. No, that's their ad. Listen, you made it. No, that's their picture. But you made it.

I didn't make it. That's theirs. You didn't even say, hey, could you mention this on the air today? You made it! No, that's their picture. But you made it! I didn't make it. You gave us a, you didn't even say, hey, could you mention this on the air today. You made a copy. Listen, that's a piece of paper. Thick stock. Hang on one second. Cause you know, my ad reads have gotten way better.

Add your horse, Reddit and Christine. My ad reads have gotten way better. If you're located in the East Texas area and require carpentry work, handyman services, or looking to start a home project, but aren't sure where to begin, please reach out to Nolan. That's N-O-L-O-A-N, oops, sorry.

I wouldn't have read all this. Huh? You wrote this! Well, that was what was attached. But you put it together. This is an ad. They sent an ad No, that was on her Instagram. He went and then you made it into Live read copy made it a live read copy

Could have just said Hill construction you printed it and put it in front of what else were you gonna call it? It's Hills quality construction. You're gonna promote now your sandbag in the guy's driving now I don't know. I wanted you to say the right name if you're gonna promote it. I said wrong. It's Hills Quality Construction. If you're gonna promote, now you're sandbagging the guy because you're acting now. I don't like it. No, but I wanted you to say the right name if you're gonna promote it. You said it wrong. It's Hills Quality Construction. I hope that he, I hope that he. Right, so I don't know it offhand, so I printed it. Yeah, because you don't really care about this company.

You're just trying to get him out of the house. I do care. You could pork out his chick. Oh, God. I hope the company succeeds. They become millionaires and she never talks to you again. I'm fine with that. Is that what you want?

I'm fine with it. I believe that. It's not going to change my day. What if you're her enemy? She says, I actually hate Jacob for what he did. He got no one constantly harassed about pictures, people asking for pictures of my asshole. Well, I mean, did I start that? You're getting, you're trying to get. You can pay for it.

You're trying to get his phone number out there. So the girls start calling asking about his ding dong and he gets lured away from her. And then you move in and you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number.

And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get a phone number. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to get his phone number out there. So the girls start calling asking about his ding dong, and he gets lured away from her, and then you move in. This could break them up,

because he has such a perfect penis. The guy's got the most straight, thick, perfect fucking size cock. And now what? Girls are gonna call up and try to hit on him, and this could break them up. Christine. How do you feel about that?

You want her to go from that to this? Hang on, Jacob, Christine, completely. Are you insane, Bobby? Christine, completely unbiased. Nolan's got a fucking nice cock, yeah? It's a great piece. Guy's got a great piece. I say perfect.

I say perfect, too. Could be perfect. I'm telling you, I ain't knocking myself. He wants it all over the world. It's a step down. Hey Jay, Jay, we might be going in the wrong direction. You think he's trying to get Nolan? It might not be Lynn he's into.

I think we might be barking up the wrong tree. Oh look, he's never gonna see upside down. Look at these crazy kids. I don't even know what angle that is. That's a, Wait, what's happening there? Lou, can you put a, while she's montaging these videos?

Can you play our house by Crosby stills in Nash? She was the Bonfire spokesmodel and we know Nolan you've met them and you blew this into a bit a bit and And yes printed live read copy library And yes printed live read copy You promised them promotion before you even asked anybody if they want that was going I think it's You went to a computer and well got a photo And then wrote copy no Lou did this for me for you, right? Yeah, he did it. But you did it. Look how bald their pussy is. I did it. I said yes! Well, and your pussy's so bald. Well, I

hope they succeed. I do too. I hope they- They're not going to now that his dick's all on blast. Hey for a good time. You want to have- by the way, look at this, by the way I don't know if you know the logo by the way is, is the outside of a house with a screwdriver, a hammer, and a wrench. All nice three little emojis for his big fat cock. And you want that out there. So he leaves her alone with two children. And then who's gonna swoop in? And suck Nolan's dick.

Jacob. And you're gonna suck Nolan's dick while she's not... I actually think I will pass every question you think I'm gonna fail. Damn, that would be the ultimate Shyamalan twist no one shows up to a construction site and then Jacob just walks out he goes Surprise it was never about her if it's true If I pass it was an Andy dick if I if I pass am I not surprised surprised if I passed I'm not a simp No, you're simp. You're simp for sure. Why? I'm not a simp. No, you're a simp. You're a simp for sure.

Why? It's just what the definition of simp is. Yeah. Your posture, your energy, your outfit. This one? Your hair. I went to a service today. The way you close your hands when you talk.

Because you're two comedians and it takes me a half an hour to think up a rebuttal to you. Listen. And it's like machine gun at me right now. If Nolan died today, me and Christine would fuck Lynn tomorrow. I bet you would. But you wouldn't. I don't think I would. To be fair, Nolan wouldn't have to die for shitty people.

Oh, yeah. By the way, I know... Well, watch what I'm gonna say on the radio. Also, Lynn, if you ever just buy yourself for a few minutes, me and Christine will fuck you. I 100% know you two would of course I Wouldn't that's what I'm telling you. I would fuck Lynn in front of Max How old is Lynn don't get me wrong it's not that I wouldn't want to how

I think she's No, she's 22, 23. No. She's flawless. No, she's very young. Well, then this is kind of crumbling. Oh, there's your big thing. Your age limit bullshit. I do have a... Oh, shit.

Because it's fucking bullshit. We'll find out. You're full of shit, Jay. We're gonna find out in a couple hours. You're full of shit, Jay. I'll tell you, on Legion of Skanks tonight, we're doing a live I'll tell you on Legion skanks. They were doing a lot of don't put the age put Lynn you're gonna fail She's like 25 She's 25 she's not pretty sure You're gonna fucking and so is your threesome loving girlfriend

gonna fucking fail and so is your threesome loving girlfriend. You two freaks. Don't make fun of my sexuality on Pride Month. You two fucking freaks are full of shit like me. That's actually not cool. That's fucking really anti-gay. That is anti-gay on Pride Month too. You're a bigot. Pride Month is how you act? Jacob. Jacob found a hole and he's trying to squeeze out of it. They're going right. They're as shitty as I am, I guess. I don't think I would. Aww. I know they would. Maybe I'm repressing it. Can someone message Linda Collin when you know her age?

I need a free OnlyFans. I can't believe. Who else has a free OnlyFans from her? Well, you haven't offered her a whole bunch of free things. Side gigs? Side gigs. Fuck. I'm thinking about opening a store, a little convenience store down by you if you'd like

to work at Lynn. All I want to do is build stuff for my sweet. I do think... What? Well, if you need construction or a little demolition, call Nolan, everybody. And Nolan, watch your back if these two are in Texas. What, you mean Christine? In two seconds.

Yeah. If she says I'll sneak out when he's asleep. I know, which is why I'm confused when I'm getting attacked. And then the next day, I say, of course, don't bring him to the show. And I'll be like, oh my God, it's so good to see you guys. And then we'll, and then we'll make Christina work with her.

I would watch them fuck from the amois that Nolan built. It's all built by him. Yeah Jacob, you just act like you love their beautiful family so much, which is the weird. Noah, I have not said that I. You're not like, oh I think Lynn's super hot, so I'm gonna do this.

Lynn is bonkers hot. Yes, we know she's bonkers hot. Well stop acting like, I didn't say she isn't. Like Papa Ingles. You're not. You're a piece of shit, just like the rest of us. Aw.

I am a piece of shit. Yes, but I still believe I don't think I would. You don't think you would. That's why I'm actually interested in this detector test now. I want Lynn to come here and try What? What if she did what if she was like I'll come not gonna happen

What if she's like I'll come and be with you Jacob. Holy Christmas. I'm looking at this picture Well, don't No, I will it's not cool to her husband. Yeah No, I will. It's not cool to her husband. Yeah. I don't care. No, oh, no one doesn't like you looking at this. He wants her to stop.

Nolan doesn't give a shit. Hm? Nolan's on these pictures. I know. That's Nolan right there, Jay. I know, he's helping her accomplish. Hey, Jay, take a look. He's having her accomplish it.

She's helping her accomplish her dreams. Yeah. He's such a great guy. He's helping her accomplish. And she's helping him accomplish his dreams. and she's such a great guys helping her and she's helping him maybe I thought there were via Jacob maybe I thought there were more part of the show than then I thought okay what was that sorry no I thought people and you're not that was exactly bring up the simp definition again. Well, here's the thing, we could have just sat here

and said, check out Hill's quality construction. That's all I asked. I know, but now we've talked about them for the better part of 45 minutes. Which is what, yeah. Right. A lot of people are gonna get a lot of stuff done now. Did I think it was gonna be 10 minutes of bludgering,

not 45? I'm not even done. I can't believe this whole thing is nuts. I know. I want Lynn to call in. Why will Will not call? Where's Will, by the way? No Will.

Nuh-uh. Call him again. Put it on the microphone. How happy Lou is. He got off the hook. No, he's back. No, he's out. OK, he said sure.

OK. He's out. He'll do it. Yeah, he said he'll call in. Nice. Nice. I thought he said he'd send a picture of his mom. In the meantime, Lynn also call in. He's out. He'll do it. Yeah, he said I'll call it nice nice I thought he said he sent it in the meantime Lynn also call in what's the number here eight six six nine six nine? 1969 Lynn if you're listening if you're out there, they should both call in

Well and Lynn are you simping to everybody now Jesus who don't you say you're just a simple no well and It's not a handyman. You wouldn't like him. Yeah, you only like handymen who let you look at their wives' pussies. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Christ. Okay, still looking at somebody's pussy. Oh, look at that. Christine Q, zoom in and enhance, please. That's like the Miley Cyrus stance.

Christine, if you could zoom in and enhance, please. I want to see this. Oh, I zoomed in and I lost it. Oh, I want to see the split when she's squatting down with the split There it is. I need go up up up one more right there. Can you zoom in 75 more times than that? Mm-hmm and down and then uh, that's that's a bald pussy. All right. It looks like a fish mouth It really is. Uh, yeah, it's really we all just wanna be rich and successful enough to continue to fuck 20 year olds forever.

Well, I'll find out tonight. I don't think that's the case. I think it is. Jay, if you say you're gonna fucking fail. You're gonna fail miserably. My daughter's 21, so I don't think that's true. Yeah, dude, you're not gonna be thinking about your daughter. Oh, the speech you gave before we went on the air.

Louis, you get to a certain age, you can't do this anymore, dude. You gotta grow out of it. Gotta grow out of it. There's certain age range, and it's bullshit. Bullshit. There's gonna come a time when you fuck somebody that's younger than Isabella.

Jay thinks it's all right, because he has a woman with him. There's a girl here. He went alone. Jay has his lady friend in the room with him, so it makes it much more. Oh, did you guys meet without Christine? No.

No. That's Jay's loophole. He has a, how old is Christine? I think I'm gonna pass the lie detector test tonight. I think I'm passing it tonight. Well, have this picture on the air while you're doing it. She's not 21, question's 21, that's what we're we're arguing 21 in a few months you're gonna say no oh she's this girl's 27 years old no she's such a piece of shit you want her to be because you really She's shut the fuck right up. Those kids are 11. You're so gross, Jay. They're not 11.

They're 11. You're disgusting. You would have sex with them. She had it when she was 15. Is it different when they're a mom? It's different when you have a mom. Oh, that's right. I did forget.

She's a MILF. No, she's a MILF. She's not a MILF. She's a fucking MILF, dude. She likes milk. She got two kids, dude. She's a MILF. It doesn't matter.

She's from Kentucky, for Texas. They have kids when they're 12. She's 20, 21. She had kids when she was 12 she's 20 she was 12 yeah and look at that pussy still popping how old are you that you would have sex with her Jacob's turning it I don't know but I'm pretty sure she's 30 you're out of your mind now she's pushing 30 you're a crazy person she's 25 at least it's okay when you do it though because you have an adult in the room supervising she's 25 at least. It's okay when you do it though, because you have an adult in the room supervising. She's 25 at least!

Ha ha ha! Christine is there going, Jay, Jay, no. Jay, that's gonna make her uncomfortable. She's too young for that. Jay, no. You have Christine to do the priming while Jay giggles off to the side.

Jay, no. Your jealousy is so ugly. Jay, don't. Your jealousy is disgusting. Christine goes, Jay't give her... Your jealousy is disgusting. Christine goes... Jay, no alcohol. She's not legal. She can't drink.

No alcohol. Oh, God. She can drink. She can drink. And I think she's the better part of 27 years old. She's not 27. You mentally... 25 at least.

You're mentally ill. At least. She's 21. Where's Will? So should we. Get Will on the God damn phone. I'm trying to see his dick Who am I who am I so she would do this

Should we do this I guess I don't know Who are you? The lines are lit up after Christine is prepped To take I don't think we have to take a brain is caught but I like the idea He said let's we can start calling you simple Jake I like I like them young Another one just says, can I tell Jacob he is a simp? Let that guy in. It's sunk in already. You know what, James in Utah, pop on.

You sure can. Go on, big shot. Tell me what a fucking man you are. What's up, buddy? Wait, oh. Who? Hip. Is he there?

No, it's green for some reason. Usually it's pink. You're right. The only reason, Jacob. There he is. Oh, thank God. It's working now. Yeah, James, James, you're on the bonfire.

Feel free, open microphone here to Jacob. You have an open line to Jacob right now. Let me have it. I'm the same Crackle Crackle. I'm the same Jacob. You are the same. Jacob you have an open line Jacob right now. Let me have it The only reason that he would not fuck her is because he already has a doll made over He might have a doll One of those dolls did look like Lin he may have a Nolan doll. He has have a doll. I come to think of it. He's got a Lin doll. Come to think of it, one of those dolls did look like Lin. He may have a Nolan doll. He has a Christine doll.

You know he has a Christine doll. You piece of shit. Where's the Christine doll? Let me see a picture of it. She has it. Oh, you know it's right in his shower where he jacks up on it. Oh, you fuck. I know you're a clean masturbator.

Yeah, he has a Christine doll with a dream catcher around her neck. I thought this week was gonna go easy. Jake you fucking simp. Thank you for the call James. That's a guy from Utah, that's the Mormon community. James, thanks for calling the bonfire. Oh man, fly away to Skankfest and run the lie detector test. Have her ask the questions. I, have her ask the questions. Chad's just spending my money.

Yeah. You can't see him, but my brother's there. Oh, okay. Chad's not a bad idea, Chad. Oh, we got Will? Yeah. Very, very nice. Will Witzke.

A brief respite. Will. Yo. Hey, what's up, buddy? It's Bobby Kelly. How you doing, buddy? Good, how you doing, Bob? Happy 50th birthday from the whole crew. Hey I had a

question for your brother today maybe you can answer it cuz you guys are twins. Yeah. And I was wondering do you guys have the same exact penis? I actually don't know. Okay that brings us to a second question. Jake you take over from here. Yeah, so that leads to a second question By the way, your brother Lou said he is willing to do this if you are Would you be willing to show me and Bobby your penises together so we can see if they are identical And I'm gonna be honest saying it out loud now for the first time to you It does sound like a more difficult ask than I thought Yeah, no, I'm not doing that Wait, wait, wait, wait now. Let's let's think about this. Let's negotiate. Let's negotiate pause for a second. This is for science. I

Assume it is I mean we haven't take beds together since we like to so when we don't take showers together anymore So how the hell would I know well you guys could be asked to ask in this thing and me and Bobby will go on either side. I Would assume they're probably the same size now Is there any way that we could get you here and then we could just take a little quick look not a long look Just a quick look you don't have to fluff it. You don't you you have to do anything We just want to take a quick look just for science. I just want to see the color. Here's the thing. We're also trying to...

Howard Stern's done everything he could possibly do on radio, but I think the one thing he hasn't done for sure is look at twin boys' penises to see if they are exactly the same. Let's call them men, but yes. I have no interest in contributing to gay science. It's not... Well, it is Pride Month. It's Pride Month. It's Pride Month. It's twin science. Yeah, it's twin science. It's not, well, it is Pride Month. It's Pride Month. It's Pride Month.

It's twin science. Yeah, it's twin science. It's twin science, it's not gay science. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to even look at each other. No. We're gonna look at you. If you guys do something, that's on you guys.

That's not part of the plan. That's part of the party. Too weird. Damn it. How are we ever gonna find this out? Now, is there any way you could do it together without us seeing it and then honestly give us an answer? Yeah, you could ask Lou.

I don't care if no one else is around. Okay, Lou. Why is that weirder to me? Why is that more uncomfortable? Now I have a problem with it, yeah. Why, you and your brother can't just hang hog in the same room together? How about if we both separately show it to a woman

and she reports? Christine. Who's this? Could it be Christine? Christine. No. Get two other twins that you don't know. No, it's not the same.

I'll show it to a girl, not Christine. Do you like humiliation? If we get a girl, and we get a girl to look at both of you guys and they'll tell us, will you do it then? What if she blows us? What if we get a smoking hot chick, confirmed, god made woman, up here in the studio to take you guys to a place and look individually at your guys' wieners. Could we then, and she could tell us, she can report.

You fine? That's totally fine. Yes! All right! Get Lainey on the horn. Yep. No, not Lainey. No, Lainey's not gonna be the one who looks.

She's gonna get somebody. You know what? I got it, I'll call Dawn. We'll get Dawn. It's not gonna be a hot chick, it's gonna be a middle-aged woman chick with boobs that aren't the same size. Will, just for the record also Will, I was gonna let Christine look at you and your brother's penis but your brother ruined it for you. Well dude, happy 50th birthday. We're going to organize this

and this is a verbal contract. If you renenege on this I'll fucking sue the shit out of you I Will jam your ass up so full lawyers you'll be fucking shit briefcases Happy birthday my man I can't believe how much he sounds like you There's no way you guys look exactly like you sound exactly there's no way you have the same yeah they taste the same. I'm gonna throw up. There's no way that you guys have different penises it has to be the same penis. And now I'm thinking about your buttholes. What about them? Well because

there could be different wear and tear on a butthole. It could change. Well, there's definitely wear and tear on one of the buttholes. Yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah?

Yeah. Yeah. You didn't get to make it your life's work for free. Oh yeah. You don't get free vacations to Fire Island every other weekend without having a little soreness in your tuchus Not free. Oh man, haha, oh

Some of my bitch what a fun day back. Yeah fun fun day back. I'm gonna talk about your trip. Yes. Yep Oh, no, we talked about hang on his limb. Does Lynn reached out yet as he reached out to Lynn She doesn't listen she probably offer free advertisements No, I knew it was gonna be a thing but I didn't know it was like you were gonna be you're gonna find out what you are We don't promote that we promote campaign because it's your family campaign because it's your family. Christine can do twat so good. You don't promote things. You ain't kidding. Oh it's nails on a chalkboard. Wow. Completely, totally true. What just came out of her mouth is so awful. It just hurt. Hey we all have something that we do and you do simping well you simp well there's simply I hate that You're saying this why?

Something I don't agree. I don't you don't think you're good ahead. You're good. Are you let me ask you question. Are you insecure? I? Don't think so no I feel pretty confident. Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean I have a good life outside the show I could you know what I'm what I'm up to. I agree I heard a good guy You're swinging that shit. Okay, so you're slaying it. So so you just sent in for this fucking girl And you fucking are gonna do a bunch of fake things nice for her husband I will do nothing else. You're the neighbor who brings over the cake The single male neighbor who brings over the cake and you're like well when I soon as I go to work

This guy's gonna be waving to my wife every fucking day. Yeah, he comes over. He knows he actually watches no leave and then he comes over Hey, what's going on? I baked you guys a ziti. Oh It's no around not weird. Well, the dumb move is to knock Nolan that he would never do that Right that's the you don't knock him down We do is like even when they're arguing Jacob wants to be the guy they're going Uh guys he goes no, but you even she goes he doesn't this guy doesn't love me anymore And he's just blah blah blah, and he goes no no I'm sure he loves you Yeah, he loves you and the kids like listen he goes you try your best to make things work out

And you just say another nice things like that so when inevitably meanwhile He's lighting all these fires trying to get Nolan's dick sucked from his construction sham. Yeah, don't forget that as she's crying, he's wiping the tear out of her eye and then licking it behind her back. You don't need this. Chalkboard Christine, you got anything, Dad? I was just thinking about how great Keiki Ko is.

I love those blankets so much. Really? I do love those, but I would blow somebody for one of those. Oh man. We promote nothing. I can't wait to just cuddle up with all my Keiki Ko. What's the lady from? I would blow somebody for one of those Renee from cakey co is an absolute doll Renee do us a favor start sending some pictures of your puss And I'm telling you I will blow this company up even more

Do not blow up this fucking you don't have to I'm just saying I'll promote it more if you send Jacob pictures your asshole I love the blankets. I don't all of the blankets. I don't need demolition work done No, we promoted stuff so I didn't even know it was a big fucking deal I feel so shitty now that you made you feel a little insecure Simpy You seem a little insecure, Simpy? No. You seem a little insecure right now. I don't think I am. We got to take our first break, everybody. You're listening to Simple Jake and the Boys. Can we change the name of the show to that?

Simple Jake and the Boys? Yes. You're the main person on that. We're just the boys. We're the boys. We're Simple Jake. Simple Jake and the Boys. This is your show.

Big J is going to be on the full and loaded festival tour. We're just the boys with the boys just simple Jay simple jigging the boys. This is your show Big yeah, big Jay is gonna be on the full and loaded festival tour. Hopefully he survives this I'm getting high jinx. We're doing great June All of June then the funny bone of Richmond, Virginia July 12th and the 13th the Borgata Atlantic City July 27th for all the tickets and tour dates go to bigjcomedy.com. Can I drive to Richmond? No. No. No. Are you nuts? No. Why do you want to drive to Richmond? The Virginia Beach is nine hours. No, you do not drive. You fly to Virginia. Robert Kelly's going to be in New York where you don't have to drive, I guess. The Gramercy Theater, everybody. That's a live regs podcast with Joe list Dan Soder

Louis J Gomez and the great Robert Kelly himself on July 10th after that he's gonna be in Portsmouth, New Hampshire in San Diego, California And of course you can see Bobby every Tuesday night at 7 p.m At the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar except for July 30th Because we're gonna go see Corey Feldman so excited we still we're waiting on the tickets but I believe we're gonna go see Justin Timberlake okay but now everyone's watching and saying he's being weird in concert since really he's tweaky I heard he was on a lot of drugs it was an alcohol really I heard he was on drugs buddy they said he's tweaky in the

they showed a video in world star today where he's like in the and his eyes are A little weird heard it was on Molly and a few other things. Okay Nice. Well, you can get all Bobby's tour dates and tickets for those tour dates at punchup.live slash Robert Kelly. And of course Check out the podcast wherever you listen to podcasts and the YouTube page YouTube page a lot of videos coming up Yeah, what clips are clips are killing it. We're clipping pretty hard right now. We're clipping. Check us out.

We'll be right back. It's simple Jake and the Boys.