The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sit-n-Spin with Mike Finoia

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Jay thinks it's long overdue that the "Hawk Tuah Girl" has started an adult platform for her talents. | Mike Finoia is back and Bobby gives him his thoughts after listening to The Grateful Dead for the first time. | Everyone tells stories of their early job experiences. Jay gave away the store at the 7-11 and Christine was fired from every place she ever worked. | Mike recalls a video of Sal Vulcano crashing into a wall and breaking his foot on Impractical Jokers. | Childhood tales of ringing and running. Join Mike Finoia for the Saturday Night Shakedown — stories, guests, and live jams every week on the Grateful Dead Channel! Sundays at 1pm ET on SiriusXM! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. It's weird to look across from you. To look across and see you because you're changing so much physically. You mean my story? No, no, no. I didn't even notice the star, but now I can't stop looking at it. But you're becoming a very attractive man, Jay. Not that you weren't before.

You were Big Jay. but now you're becoming like I don't know really good looking no yeah dude you got these I hate this you got look at me look at me look at me look at me you got these big big beautiful eyes is it blue right yeah you got blue I mean amazing blue eyes that

they're crying and fucking you at the same time happy pride month and then and then your jaw line is so defined now you know you You got this, this, your head is thin, your body's thinning out. Thin head? No, but it's, I look over at you and I kind of get distracted. You've always been gorgeous.

No, I, now you know how I'm living. No, I'm just saying, dude, I look up at you, I just looked up at you and I got distracted by your beauty. Stop it. No, happy gay pride month, everybody. Happy gay pride month, everybody. You're a gorgeous man also. That is the great Robert Kelly. This is the bonfire.

Faction Talk, Series X-M-103. We are sitting in with newest Sirius XM family member here over the Grateful Dead channel. Yeah. Another Saturday night? Saturday Night Shakedown. Saturday Night Shakedown. Yeah. Changed a bunch.

It was supposed to be one more Saturday night, but Bill Walton had a show called that 40 years ago. Oh, that's good. So we don't want to use that. He hasn't played basketball for 51 years. He's also no longer with us. Oh, it's right. He died. Oh, way to bring that up.

Tees and peas. The Saturday Night Shakedown, you can listen to it. every Saturday 8 to 9 p.m. on Sirius XM. On the Grateful Dead channel, it is America's Amigo. Pancho Mike. Mike Fanoia. I almost wore that shirt today. You know when I put it on? I was like, fuck. Bobby might

wear this. I swear to God, I took it out. You guys bought them together. I went to that shirt, and then I went to my other Liza Colby shirt, and then I just went black T-shirt, and I'm glad I didn't know that shirt. Was that last one? Liza Colby. What's that mean? She's a New York performer. Very great. Amazing.

sexy black girl, lead singer, does just rock and roll. She's amazing. She's a friend of mine. She's a friend of yours. Friend of mine. Okay. Yeah.

All of that things you said, I'm like, where did you find her? She plays rock and roll, things. How does this end up with you having her merch? Guitar, person, yeah. When I did sex, drug and rock and roll, one of the actresses was, Elizabeth, she sang all her songs.

She sang the song. They wrote all the songs for her. and she sang her songs. One of the other actresses was supposed to come in and sing. Larry sang, all his stuff, and she was supposed to come in, and then they went into the studio, and she couldn't sing that good.

Oh, yeah. She had to bring Liza Colby in, and she sang all the songs. This is her? I mean, that's not her. That's not the song I'm talking about. No, that's not her. Oh, she does all that jazz?

That's not her. All that jazz. That's not her. That jazz. That is rock and roll. That's rocking and rolling. My baby takes the morning train. She's typing Liza Colby rock and roll.

Oh, I typed in Liza Minnelli. No. I have that shirt, too. I know. That was my fourth pick. Liza Menelli? Yeah, but it's not a T-shirt. It's Liza Monelli's shirt he bought at auction.

It's a really big soft shirt that Bobby learns to sleep. It's a blousey number. It actually is a blouse. Oh, the Liza Colby sound. She, uh... Could I ask you something that takes us a compliment. looks identical to the, what was the fucking, Hawk Tootich.

I'm sorry. Oh, I look like the Hawk Tootich? She looks like Hawk Tootich. She does. Spit on that thing. She said, you got a hawk to spit on that thing. Where's that fucking idiot now? What do you do?

She's sitting atop of fucking mountain of Bitcoin. She wants to win the prison. No, she had her own coin. She came up with her own coin. Well, she didn't come up with anything. It was a scam. This company came up and got one coin. All these people bought it, but it was all bullshit.

And now she was just, she was just, she had her own coin. He was like, I don't know. You try to spit on it? Spit on the coin? Yeah, it was all bullshit. This ain't worth nothing till I spit on that thing. Sure, it ain't word nothing now. Hang on you got.

Hachtoo! Send me all your pennies. I'll be spitting on them. Huckoo. I think she's probably doing only fans now, right? Nope. Nope. She's down in Florida.

Back to Huck to-in. Oh, look at her. Yes. Yes. She is promoting her adult. Finally. We knew the day would come. If we could go back in time,

and Hocktoo, a girl became a thing. I'm sure it was a crazy guess that a lot of people made, but I did say it's a countdown to only fans. And she lasted way longer than I thought because that she had to, but she had to almost, in order to avoid doing only fans earlier, she had to almost go to prison on another scam. They're like, she was like, I'm going to be the one dumb, mean person who figures it out with business.

And then the business falls to pieces. She almost goes to prison and she's like, never mind, I'll show my pussy hot pills, bit on that thing. Do you know before she Hopped to a spit on that thing? She had a job at a spring factory. That's a job on the Simpsons. Like that's not a real job.

Is that a spring? I work in the Seesaw store. Is it springs for like Penn Springs? Like fucking springs. All kinds of springs. I don't think they have different factories for little tiny springs and big springs. I think it's different floors. I think you start on Penn Springs and then you work your way up to like the fucking

horse, the heat off. Yeah, yeah. The thing in the park. outside of old grocery stores. What was the thing you used to jump on? The pogo stick? Yeah, Pogo stick.

That's like you got to be there. That's high attention. Remember when they made, they made one version of that, gas powered. They put a piston in it? What? Did they really?

Yeah, they made it. What the fuck? We're just sitting in the fucking sky. Yeah, dude, they made one version of it with a gas powered piston. It's called a jackhammer. And it would shoot. They had to take it off the market because people were just getting hurt.

Of course. It'd shut on top of your car. That's not his teeth. They just made a toy because it was like, oh, those would be great. Right. People didn't sue back then. Of course. Your kid just lost his teeth in his nose and you just went, ah, what are you going to do?

Be more careful next time. I never played lawn darts, but I've seen plenty of videos of lawn darts, and they over talking about that. Can you believe this was a thing? I think lawn darts is still a fine game. What would be the problem with lawn darts? They come right in your face, hit your eye. What kind of a dumb person would you have to be to get hit by the lawn dart? Well, the problem is that people played that at a barbecue when they were fucking 17 beers in.

and then they would just throw it in the air and there'd be some lady just having a margarita anyways the funk go just sink into her head next thing you know you got it sorry you're right next thing you got like an Aunt Donna kebab just got the blood running down like the butler in a

in the shining lovely party yeah she's still telling her story but just the same sentence over and over but her eyes pointed in so I went to the party so I went to the party so I went to the party got to stand still down

she goes can you believe Steve, Stephanie was wearing the same dress as me. Is my eye look weird? Yeah, lawn dogs were dangerous. You know it was super dangerous, but I loved sit and spin. Do you remember sit and spin? I love sit and spin.

Did you have sit and spin? Yeah, it's still the, it's the funniest thing to me. And he took an injury for it. It's the funniest thing to me ever on a prectal jokers. In a sea of hilarious things, when Sal does the sit and spin, it has to deliver food, and he immediately comes out of his shoe and breaks his foot. He broke his foot.

It was like a problem. On a sit and spin? No, no, no. They keep making him do things and going out and serving food. And the last one was a sit and spin and he got Disney when you get... He falls backwards first,

which is funny. And then they just push him forward and give him a tray and he just goes out and smashes into his shoe comes off. It's so violent. But I've never laughed hard or anything on the show.

It's so funny. And he just like crumbled down the wall. In real pain. Had to go to fuck his foot up. Had to go to the hospital. But dude, a sit and spin was just like, you sat in the driveway and spun yourself until you were tripping balls and then you just got off and ran right into a station wagon.

Maybe that's how you started liking the dead. Perhaps. That's why I have like Division III CTE from fucking... What was the other one? The big wheel was a dangerous thing too because you couldn't see... The cars couldn't see you. Your head was bumper level.

Yeah, you used to be fine going down a hill. Hey, this is a real shortcut conversation. Hey, guys, Christine, get to that sit and... spin please real quick couldn't see over the wheel what the fuck is happening in this room hey DJ Lou remember seeing over your big wheels wheel just fine oh yeah I said the bumper

the bumper the bumper car my head was above that bumper here it goes here he goes no this is not this is the yeah this is it no it's not this is he falls it's the sit and spins next that was the chair oh right right yeah go turn it up

oh my god whoa guys there you go whoa that's a Electric sit and spin. No. It's like body weight powered. Oh, is it?

He smashes into a wall. His fucking shoe came off. It's, I mean, they shouldn't have done this. No, no. Oh. God damn, it makes me laugh so hard. Broke his foot. Oof.

Oh, right there. Yeah. You know it's a bad accident when a shoe comes off. You're not your shoes. Yeah, when your shoes, I'm out. That's a body camp thing, too, when you see, like, an accident where somebody was hit on a motorcycle or something,

and you see, like, oh, there's a shoe. Now we're about 100 yards into the woods looking for his body. Like, God, damn. Getting knocked out of your shoes is crazy. Even if you have on loose shoes. One summer in, like, my early 20s, I worked as, like, a summer camp counselor thing or whatever.

You killed a kid with your car and just a flat of his shoes. Buried them. Kept the shoes. No, for the end of the thing, you know, that like we had like that end of the year, like, you know, like that day where you go outside field day. Yeah, and color wars. You had to do fucking, we did a dizzy bat.

It wasn't called color wars that. I was at a Jewish camp. I was a crazy asshole. Jesus Christ, color wars. What happened? The Irish first of blacks. Yeah, the Irish first of blacks. This is a school event, Bobby?

I mean, this was like all Italian kids. Man, Boston's crazy. So there you go, at the end, they go, oh, the counselors versus, it turned into like meatballs. It was like the counselors versus the kids and a dizzy bat race. And I was insanely hung over and I had to do a dizzy bat race against the kid. And I was spinning. You put the bat on your head and you spin and then you have to run. And I took two steps and then just went sideways into like just a group of other people and puked all over myself.

I hate that dizzy stuff. I'm not good at any dizzy. I love watching people dizzy fall, though. It makes me happy. I hate dizzy stuff. Like, dizzy rides. I don't like that shit. I don't like that.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love that you have to get over it for a second. I like that it's like, then you get used to it and then it's just fun. I wait. They had a place called Canopy Lake.

Still there, but it sucks. But when I was a kid, they would take us every, the school would go every year. And I went and I went on the Turkish twist. It's when you, you just sit down and then it spins and the floor drops and you just stuck to the wall.

And then they kill all of you. No. Oh, is that the Gravitron? Yeah, it's like that. They called it the Turkish twist, the floor drops, and you just stuck to the wall. And then one of the kids puked. And it just goes, whee-hmm. Hey, let me tell you something.

Let me tell you something. They haven't worked out quite exactly the everybody science on that Gravitron working, because I stuck to the wall, all right, but not where I was at first. So I start sliding down, and the wall is holding onto my pants and ramming it up my ass crack while I'm, like, fucking being shoved. I mean, it's so, I never, like, stayed up. I think they do a general physics. Yeah. For this house, this house. Most people weigh this much.

Oh, I see friends of mine are, like, upside down, like Spider-Man, because they're stuck to the wall, light is air. And it's like, I'm, like, going down with the fucking seat. I'm like, I'm going down, going down with the floor. This isn't working for me. It's not working. Grabby's not working in this chair. Is there another gear? Turn this thing up to 10?

And there's always one kid that would just spit, elude. into like the middle and then it would just fly back at some point this kid puked every every every even fair every year that's the problem when you grew up in it just chunks were flapping in people's faces yeah but the spitting thing that's a fucking that's the problem of growing up in a privileged white area a very white area I think is where you get asshole behavior like that now there would be fights and stuff in my blackish neighborhood color wars color wars but no it was never like black verse white it's a weird thing I

actually. It was like, everyone was so integrated that it was groups of friends. It really was never like, there was groups of friends that were like I'm still like all white or all, man, I don't know if there was but like, definitely all black. I had color wars. You had colored colored wars, yeah, yeah. But everyone was all mismatched. It was like

fucking, it was like Death Wish movies. Yeah, what were color wars? Was it like you had a red flag, green flag? I was a counselor at a Jewish camp for a summer. It was a lifeguard. And at the end, they would have color wars where they all competed against each other. Right. Like John Fish was one of the kids You're kidding me.

Yeah, I was his counselor. Damn, dude. Have you seen his chest hair? You should feel really old. Have you seen Lenny Marcus' body hair? Never in my life. It is, when I did Aspen, he was in the room next to me, and I opened the door. I literally went, ha-ha, when he opened the door, shirtless.

He has shoulder hair. It looks like that he's covered from the neck. Yeah, dude. You can't see skin on his shoulders. Give me a keg of you and these. Do you think that's why Leslie loves him? He's got Steve Martin body hair. She just pets him.

He just pets him like a pet. Come here, my little Jewish too old. Get over here, Jew! Write me a joke that's edgy, motherfucker! I'm going to pet that shit. I don't even buy we talking about this. Nah! I want a sucking dick joke out your mouth.

Why don't you make a joke? Lenny? About howdy's black dude, don't beating that pussy! All right, well, I don't really work well under these circumstances. Yeah, well, I'm... If you need one,

go fuck yourself, you little... What the fuck is a sucker? A sucker. Another subway token joke? Those two Jews got that joke. But because I went the Jewish summer cat, I got it too. Sooka.

I'd like to be Jewish. If I can go back and do it again? Not now. I'd go back and be Jewish. Yeah, even what you'd be facing now? I don't care about all. I mean, you're Jewish and you don't care about all that. I don't.

There is a sweet spot. Yeah, but he dresses so non-Jewish. There is a sweet spot. He has a, that's his disguise. I know. There's a sweet spot between, like, 1950 and, like, last year. That was pretty cool to be Jewish. Between Woody Allen and Trump.

That was the sweet spot. The sweet spot. 1950 to, like, last year. What? Jewish was all right? The Poconos and Hollywood. Catskills. What the fuck?

Entertainment. Everything you love. Banks. Yeah. Media. Jackie Mason. Jackie Mason. Crownhog Day, too.

The Porschebell. Jewelry. Or the Caddy Shack, too. That wouldn't have happened with that Jews. Every rock star is Jewish. Yes. Kiss. Every rock star is a...

Alice Cooper? No. Is it... His guy? The Mensch? The Super Mench? His guy? Yeah, yeah.

That got very Jewish. David Lee Roth? Of course. 100%. Didn't even know it. So cool. Didn't even put the Roth together at the end. George Michael Burke.

He said, Chobabababee, Habadeh, Habed, that's an old Jewish Limerick. M.C. Searchberg. That was his order at the diner.

That was his order at the diner. Vanelai, Stee. James Morrisonstein. Have you seen David Lee he's finished. Oh, dude, the video lately? I didn't see the video of this.

He's got to stop. He's got to let it go. Let's watch this. He's bringing like three and a halfs on stage and trying to be sexy with him. Let's do it. Can I give you, yeah, I was going to say, and Lou, that was fantastic. I know what you did right there was fantastic because me and you were on the same page here. Let's look at this David Lee Roth video.

But let's not get far away from the fact that we were about to find out if Hachtu has spit on that dang. We will vamp- We were vamping for a while. Did you get it? We've been looking for it And I haven't found the actual link yet. What, OnlyFans? Yeah, it says it's not only fans.

It says it's some other platform And that it's not nudity. So I'm still searching. What's adult content? Oh, is it just her sucking cock? I'll take that. Is it? Haley Welchadulted content.com?

I'll try it. Is it a Bitcoin? You have to buy one of her coins to actually get access. You have to buy some Hawk 2 of coins. Punchup. Dot live forward slash optoid girl. Have you been holding off on us, Bobby?

Don't you fuck? We're a punchup. I'm live. What your classics. Dude, you should get spit on that thing on Huck, on punchup. You absolutely should get spit on the spit on that thing, 2016 tour. I'm not going to put,

I don't know, that's a great idea, guys. She's a new Gallagher. I got to make a phone call real quick. Well, I mean, you're the CEO, but get somebody on it. I actually wound up listening to, I went camping this weekend. Oh, there he is.

Primitive camping. Primitive camping. And I went up and I listened to a dead song. You did. Yeah. Did you listen to my show? What was it called? Sample in a Jar.

That's Fish. Oh, sorry. Well, Fish Grateful Dead either way. It lasted the entire trip. Did you enjoy it? He had no choice. It was the background music for the entire thing. I'll tell you.

It was a 42-hour song. I'll tell you, it's good in the woods, nothing around. No one to judge you? No. But it's a good camping. It was a good little thing in the background while we were cooking to have that, this play. Yeah.

Who made the choice? Joe Russell was a big fish fan. And he was like, dude, he loves dead, the fish. He's like, can we play a fish song? I was like, no, if you want to play a dead song, I was like, absolutely not. I go, there's no dead. There's no, and he goes, just let me play one fish song, you'll like it. It's a good song.

It's a good intro into this type of music. I was like, all right, go ahead, play it. And he played sample in a jar. Yep. And you liked it. It was good around a fire. in the middle of nowhere when you're,

you know what I mean? Like, like, yeah, sure. Starving. Starving, no water, dehydrated. Skidobites, a lot of, lot of, encephalitis running through your veins. Low on hoagies, for sure.

It's a good fire. They got a bitch where they mean fucking anybody. Yeah, I like it all the time, but yeah, I got what you're saying. It would not be a good, like, before I'm going on stage to pump me up. No. Or any other time.

Well, you know. Can I tell you something? Whenever I hear something like this, the element of this that I'm hearing right here is like a, seem like a part of a song I would like. Yeah. It's just that it's, I think, in my mind,

it's this for 17 minutes. There's no crescendos. There's no lyrics that I really care about. It didn't go anywhere. You don't know the lyrics. How do you know you don't care about them? I can tell you what I think. I say, I hear the element of this,

and I go, but if it's like, if it's this pace and this kind of thing, like for 17 minutes, it's not that interesting. This isn't that long. No. It's not as short as a regular song.

No. But it definitely, they jam, they do this for a while. This version is 15 minutes. Which is good. See it, not 17. Oh, my God. It was a long time.

Settle down, dude. Be back in two and two. Relax. It's good in the background, though. It's good in the background, though. While you're getting stuff ready and you lighten the fire and people... They're controlling an elevator by hand. Yes, it's fine.

In the background, it's all right. When you're making hemp necklaces. Yeah. In your trunk. Thank you for trying it. When you're washing your coach in a puddle. Next time you go, hey, why don't you let me know... It's good pussy puddle wash.

washing music. Next time you go camping, let me know. You want to go? Yeah. I'm going to bring Jay. I definitely want to go. Can I go but like hide in a tree and scare?

No. No. No, we can't. We all have to go. Please, I'm down. That's not going to scare Jay. Who? And you go, who.

I'm going to put Bobby on my shoulders. Can we be a gay couple there? Yes. Play. No, let's be. Play Leslie Jones coming up the mound. Where's this fat motherfucker? Hey.

Hey, go fuck yourself, you little antsy bitch, assy assy assy ass, bitch, Puerto Rican porn star looking ass. What constitutes us being a gay couple? Do we have to do gay stuff or just staying in the tent? I think we should be a gay thruple. I have a lot of great thruple ideas for three guys,

but our crew won't be part, so we're going to have to thruple it now. Yeah, we go up to the woods, we'll thruple for the night. Oh, yeah. I tell you what, we should bring Mike for the me, you and Mike doing the fucking one-night primitive camping. We'll be a funny, funny night.

Yeah, it'd be a great night. That'd be a pretty funny night. I just got a terrible visual of me, you, and him naked, rubbing bodies and a tent to this song. Well, I'll be honest with you. Don't ruin fish for me, please. Can I say something? And I mean this.

We weren't funny, we're just rubbing. Just rubbing. Bringing the third person, I know it's supposed to be a me and you thing, but if we bring the third person, Mike can bring the inflatable hot tub on his backpack. I have a lot of stuff. We're not bringing... I have a hammock.

Acutramants. We're bringing, we're just going to hang, dude. You brought a pillow. I got tons of... You're going to have a pillow. You can have a sleeping bag. You'll have a sleeping bag. You'll have a tent.

Flashlight? No, you can't fuck in the wood. Why, it's batteries? No, because that will attract bears. Your jizz. Oh, no. Flashlight, flashlight. My jizz.

Your calm is the battery. Yes. You know what you do? We could all get in our tents and see who comes first. I like that. Can I just fuck a regular flashlight? I mean, we're going to have flashlights, I assume. That's the spring, dude.

Oh, I get it. That's what Hawk II is doing. She's making the springs for fleshlights We all have to come Whoever comes for us Has to put there Everybody else has come in the bear bag Okay

And hang the bear bag Deal Say less I am already there I'm in I will do I think it would be I do

We said yesterday We were walking to the cars I think that would be fun All right To go up there Just But really fucking I mean

Oh Guess what Mike also does He plays the fucking guitar Oh yeah I'll bring my guitar I'm gonna strap that to you back I'll play you Grateful Dead songs.

I'd rather have that. Okay. I'll make up the lyrics. I'm sure I'll be pretty dead on. Boop a doo-bap-doo-Doo-Doo. Yeah, boo girl in a flowy fucking thing. Lick your armpit. Licking your armpit.

I want to make your armpit. That's it. That's called Nightmare Hippie Girl. Yeah. I want to smell your under-tit. Undertit. Smells like behind your ear. Behind Rich Voss's ear.

I want to pluck the hair out of your ariola. Nipple hair using it as floss. Oh. At what point do you stop calling a belly button hair and calling pussy hair? Your belly button isn't pussy nor? Remember when Rich Voss made us smell that gross cheese from behind his ear? You know what it was? He had a cyst behind his ear.

I fucking... That he never got checked out and you'd smell his ear. I know I'm not supposed to say his name on this show. No, you're not. Right. Rich Voss? Oh, no, if we say it again, he shows up. Don't beetle juice us.

Did someone say Rick Bloss? Holy shit What? I know before they said she had done How old is this article? I didn't say she announced it on Twitter What is this again?

Hawk to a girl doing adult content We're all waiting for it. This is from March 21st. Has anyone had to live up to a blowjob in their life more? I know. Oh, sorry. Maybe the girl's soup ahead?

Yeah, Monica Lewinsky. Monica Lewinsky. No? No, that's not true. That's not true. Because the thing wasn't about, there was no thing about, like, holy shit, you get best blow jobs. What everyone took her for is, like, a fat chick who was willing to fuck the president. Was she fat?

She was fat-ish. She was chubby. Yeah. And she put a cigar in her assholes. She was chubby. That's the early ozempic. Well, it's just like putting it in a brandy. That's the white guys version of what the black guys do.

Is that a macanudo? I think, I feel... It's a macadoodo. Monica Lewinsky was much more availability than attractive. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, she's got a pretty cute. She's cute. Yeah, for the White House.

Her body doesn't seem better. I've seen those fucking hags that are around that stupid building. Her head looks like one of those clown heads that you spray water in the mouth and the balloon pops. She's kind of cute. I mean, if I was the president and she was hanging around wanting to suck my dick, I would 100% do it. Absolutely. She's got a big old basketball backboard head. But I don't think the thing was about, like, everyone knew she gave the best blow jobs or anything.

Do you know what I mean? was like, Superhead, by the time she got that nickname. Superhead. And that was her fucking complete name. Karen Parsons? Ooh, did I guess that right? No, Karen Parsons is Hillary from Fresh Prince, I think. Is she a porn star, Superhead?

No. Stupid head. No, it's not stupid head. Stupid head. Of course. I'm gonna call you stupid head after that question. What's your next question? Is she white?

I know there was some celebrity scandal I didn't know about. Dufus face Dufus face. Wait, who's superhead? This is the only show we can still be abusive to women on. Finally. Who's stupid head? I don't know who she is.

I never heard of this. Superhead? Karen Stephens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was just like, she was cute, yeah. She was just it. She blew, here's the thing. When all, in the 90s, when there was that influx of monster cock black guys,

she was able to fucking gobble them down to the ball bag. Superhead. So save yourself to Wikipedia. I just answered the question for her. Her name was Superhead. Thanks, Johnny Cliff Notes. There she is. Wow, yeah, she's cute.

She's cute. Definitely cuter than Monica Lorenzky. The thing was more that she could suck dick. Who else we... What you got to suck a monster black cock or the president's dick? Monster black cock. Really? Yeah.

Over the president's cock. I don't give a fuck about the president's cock. Dude, that's such a better story. It's badge of honor. Badge of honor. You suck the most powerful man in the world's cock. Or some random black dick. Air Force come.

Yeah. Sure. Come on, dude. All right. Yeah, fine. I'll blow the president. Change your answer. All right.

I'd like to change my answer. All right. Change your answer. So wait. The Olympics of Dick sucking. Hot to a super head. Monica Lewinsky. But here's again.

Lewinsky was never known. Monica Lemusky was known for giving some great blow job. It was the fact that she just did it. I'm saying people that have to live up to a thing. Like conversely, after the Paris Hilton tape came out, you were like, oh, well, she gives an awful blowjob the way I assumed a super hot rich girl would give a terrible blow job. Because because her parents

are together and love her still. Right. If she was a rich girl with going through that I stay at my dad's mansion and my mom's match back and forth, she would have been she would have fucking been gargling that guy's balls. Instead, she sucks it like she's trying food she doesn't like for the first time. I think money has an effect on it too.

I think the poor you are, the better dick you suck. Sure. It's very possible because Kim Cardiff While not famous at the time, definitely grew up wealthy. And I would say also on Ray J sucked like... Mediocre. Better than her friend, Parasilene. Like a thick milkshake through a straw? But not great still.

Still looked like she wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to be doing. Am I right about this black glue? Thank you. It's not that great. Whereas a poor chick is... You're sucking dick to get you. She's like... She wants to suck the fatherhood out of you.

Yeah, it's like rich kids who really don't know how to run. There she is. You know, like, my son... These kids don't know how to run. Gargoy, gargoy. Yeah, totally. My son knows how to run right now because he's not rich. He does ring and run.

You know, they run from... Of course. He does all that stuff. He's run from the cops a couple times. But the better you do? That's where kids learn how to run. The better you do, the worst is running? Yeah, the worst is running.

He doesn't have to run. Do you know Max has been running from the cops and just drop that in? Well, he's doing... He got caught ring and run. He's doing that ring and run. The ding-dong. did shit. Yeah.

Mischief night. Yeah, Mischiff night. Yeah. And I guess the cops were called. And he came through, you know the back of my house where it's all woods?

One night I seen him just in the rink hand coming through the back of the woods. I'm like, what are you doing? I'm going to be honest with you. We were playing ring and run and the lady called the cops

and we were running from the cops. And I was like, well, you learn how to run. There you go. Did he get caught? No, he's not going to get caught. You were like, go down in your man cave.

I go, if you get caught, play just mentally retarded. Yes. Well, Bob, you got to lay some boundaries down that at some point, buddy. You got to lay some boundaries down that, he goes, they're going to come to the door and be like, we'd like to talk to your son. As soon as I catch you, son, free. I lost my love it, Pop.

They're going to go, son. Doorbell make a light. I love a doorbell. It's like God Jesus. By your fear, he's going to be like, Dad, did I? He goes, Dad, Max, did you rape this girl? They were accusing you of rape me? He goes, I don't know, did I?

I don't know No, I'm gonna get caught He ran Yeah, yeah No, I ran Is that still fun to do With ring doorbell? Rape?

No No, not in front yard Dude, ringing and run I mean, that was the greatest thing That was the best The best thing ever when you were a kid That was when you still would have company Not to quote Sebastian

But that's when you had company Now if somebody rang the doorbell I'd be like, who the fuck? Like, what's going on here? Why is anybody ringing my doorbell? I would never, I never did that. You want your kid to be your kid

be the one ringing it because they're not going to do your house you have to understand it's why i fought a lot when i was younger and all that stuff because running was couldn't could never be my first option so everyone's like ding dong ditch i go do you mean ding dong i take the fall for everybody no i'm okay dig dong dive under a car that's right he never did crime hey we're going to rob the store i can't go i'll be the lookout white collar i can drive I did a lot of white collar crime He was returning a lot of non-rewound videos That's it

All white collar shit I used to ring and run all the time Me too We used to ring and run And the dive over bushes Like people were gonna Like we can't get arrested For ringing and running

Oh it's the best You gotta get a talking to My uncle You could have gotten Shippied out of you by a neighbor My uncle used to bring me Ringing and running And one time I wasn't running

Fast enough And he grabbed me and just was Dragging my legs And he was like Come on let's go Let's go We're gonna get in trouble and I was like bouncing behind him.

I'm like seven years old. He's like 20. I was like, he's got a couple of scamps you guys were. Hang on one second. There was a cut off to ring and running. I think it's like 15 to 16, 20. Yeah, he kept it up.

He kept it up. He's supposed to have a job at 20. He may be his job. He's a professional ring and runner. Yeah. He might have went pro. You can still hire him, right? Absolutely.

He does birthday parties. I think for sure. I bet you there's tons of adults doing ring and runs on fucking ding-dong ditch, we call it. There's no way. It's still doing it. No, on TikTok and shit,

but it's constantly. Now they've up the ante. Now they're, didn't the guy who got fucking killed, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, Tentatian, didn't, before he got, like,

before he got, like, he would just go to someone's house and, like, kick in their door and beat the shit out of them. Was that juice swirl? It was, like, one of those people. I don't know.

Their thing was, like, just to go in the house and he goes, yeah, just go to someone's house and beat the shit out of them. I think that's assault. Yes.

That's not, That's the point. It was not fun. Ding dong death. We used to take, during Halloween, we used to take all the pumpkins from all the other house and put them on one person's house and then ring the doorbell and run. So they would come out and there would be like 50 pumpkins on the porch. Yeah, 100%.

You start leaf fires in the front yard. Well, that's nuts. But yeah, that sounds fun. We used to do that. So here's how I got away without having the run for things. What I would do was sneak out of the middle of the night and you go to the old folks home that for some reason had one of those boards that are like a marquee out front. You switch their medication?

No, the boards that would be have the With his own Vaseline and fuck them It would have the letters up on the thing You could change Yeah Like a marquee Yeah And we would just change those to like say

Oh that's fun Like fucking suck or something That's awesome It was like duck dinner or something Something like you gotta look at it That would be the fun You look at it during the day Yeah

And you go home and write down the phrase And then you plot What could we change these letters to And to make enough words That are fucking hilarious That's very mental fun That's like high levels on this back kid me and him are going ding dong

you'll go on james i'm gonna take this project home dude what rhymes with uh jewish center see he did this he did this in between drawing walls for people you were always so artistic with your yeah it was a skillful i do i wasn't running away from the cops or dodging or jumping over bushes so i did you know what we did one every year we picked one neighbor we really hated and we would put uh like store bought oscar mire like on their car because it would like strip the paint oh my god Jesus you know like ham like like like like all the preservative like you'd stick it to and then we'd put like hand soap in their door of their car so

when they went out in the morning it was like we used to go on our street it was a really long street from main street down to the end and there was this one strip where you it was just there was no turnoffs and it was both side parking so there was cars on both sides yeah so there was cars on both sides yeah so So late at night, we'd have a group of kids down the end, and as soon as a car come, we'd pick up a car and put it in the middle of the road. You'd pick up a car. Yeah, you just pick up the bumper and just swing it over. And then we'd go up the other end and we'd pick up a car and swing it over.

It was like 10 of us. And we would swing the cars over 30 of you. The car would be stuck. It would be like two in the morning and they'd go back up and they couldn't. They had to just beep their horn. And then the guy would come up and be like, whoa. What the fuck? It's a car would just be in the middle of the road?

I don't mind saying it. I don't mind saying it at all. We got to move some cars. I don't mind saying it at all. You guys were bad boys. We were bad boys. I wasn't a bad boy. I was a good boy.

Yeah, I did. I got in my trouble. My trouble was always like that dumb shit. It was like a fat kid bad things. I had all the porn. I would steal porn magazines. I would steal snacks. I would write things.

No. Do you ever steal snacks? I don't think so, no. I used to steal. Never. Never stole food, but I would have, I would have stole food. I thought there was a route to stealing food. No, it was funny.

There was no, like, I think it was, like, more likely to take money out of, like, my grandmother's drawer to go get McDonald's and stuff. It wasn't, like, for drugs or anything. I mean, it was what my drug was, I guess. I used to steal Swanson TV dinners. You did? Yeah, I used to go into Alexander's, and we go in, and I would be the guy that would stuff all the, like, the fried chicken, the TV dinners.

And that's back when they had no, they had no microwave. so you had to do it in the oven, which took like seven days to cook in the oven. You got a poke a fork in it. He came out so high. I have two burns on my arm because we got the fried chicken, and we were so high. We got so fucking basted.

We were just waiting for this chicken. It seemed like for days. Yeah, the cherry cobbler would take off a layer of skin. And then we went in, and I, we all, three of us were standing over the other, and Frankie went, it's done. And I just grabbed the pan with my hands and my wrists. And you're, it's, and I just threw the,

chicken up in the air. We just ate it off the ground. We were so fucked up. Wow. Yeah. We used to steal cars, too. We used to steal cardinal cigarettes. They were, like, the ones that were so cheap.

They didn't even keep them in the back. They were, like, on display near the register. So it would be, like, ring pops and fucking cheap sunglasses. Yeah, they were made with leaves. Literally. It was like 80 cents a pack. And we would go, what's that right there? And then just grab a ton of them and go, like, smoke in the woods.

We found a canteen truck. We used to pull all-nighters when I was, like, I don't know, 11, 12. and we'd go around, we found a canteen truck, and we opened it up, and it was all Marlboro cigarettes, and all kinds of snacks. Whitey Bulger came out and said, you working for me now. Yeah, we stole all the, so many, having a carton of cigarettes as a kid.

Probably my worst kid crime. My worst kid crime was probably when I worked at 7-Eleven, and my crime was not, like, I just let everyone I know commit crimes in there. Like, I gave them all. I didn't even think at what, like, the back were. and I was like 18, 19. I didn't even think what like the backwards of how they would find out.

Things are going. I didn't have any concept of like inventory or cameras. Everything's accounted for. I don't think there was much cameras in there because they never really ultimately came to me, but it was, and the things, I was giving away the things you really can't give away. You can, by the way, you can give away a hot dog. You can a bag of chips, a soda here and there. You can just like miss the scan or something like that.

I was doing like, oh, hey, a girl that's kind of pretty that I sort of. to know like what's your brand of cigarettes take the carton who gives a shit you want an arm's length of scratch-offs oh hang when I just got I think I gave away scratch-offs I think I would just do some I think I'd get bored just rip one off and do it myself like I just didn't treat anything like I was

what I thought the fat pay dirt for me was middle of the night no one watches me while I make chili dogs on top like on top of chips you know a tortilla chips all that I'm like you know I can just make as many hot dogs as I want no one buys them and we're just going to throw them out anyway

I think I'm going to get a job at 7-Eleven on, like, Sunday nights. By the time I ate them, it's like prune fingers. Oh, that was hooking everybody out. And then just like I started doing comedy, and then one day the lady who owned it came in. And she was like, I was a white lady, big fat white lady. She goes, hey, can I talk to you? She goes, we're having a lot of like missing items kind of come up. And I went, I don't got time for this.

And I just left and never came back. I don't got time for this. I don't got time for this. I was like, oh, the jig's probably up. Huh? Man, I really gave away all the Newport's and Newport Lights and Newport One hundreds and Newport Light

100s. I used to... I got the joke. He gave it all the black kids. And Marlborough Menthol's. And you get it yet? And Cools. Filter Kings.

Salem's to the ladies. I used to deliver subs at DeAngelo's and he had the foot-long sub. It was called the Great God. How big you think a foot is? How big you think your dick is? Not a foot-long.

It's a yard-long. It's called the Great Divide. And it was the whole sub-roll. So it was like this. It was like four subs and one. It's the best. Yeah. And I was such a fat, so I would call up and place a pickup order and then just never pick it up

towards the end of my shift. So then they'd be like, I'd be like, where's the sub going? Am I delivering? No, they didn't pick it up. You want it? I'd be like, I don't know, I guess. You'd crank call yourself. Oh, I would just go home with a whole sub and just fat eat by myself.

That's, you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, most of my crime when I had jobs, was hooking my friends up, letting them do crime. Strawberries, the music store, my manager chain smoked. He'd go in the back. My buddies would come in, and I would just shut the sensor thing off. That's when CDs had that long, plastic fucking thing, remember? And it had that teeny little strip on the back that was like the thing that set off the...

You had to rub it, right? Yeah, we had a dumb thing. You had to do this. But also, if you just hit the switch behind the register, it shut off the... It shut off. Yeah. So I would load all the CDs I wanted into like jazz or whatever, right, where nobody cared and my friends would come in and just- You could have just left them in the dead

area when nobody cared. Yeah, there you go. And they were like stacks of blank tapes and shit like that and posters. Like, we robbed the place blind. And then I worked at a car wash. Everybody got free car washes. I told you before when I worked at the, uh... I gave everything away to my friend.

When I worked at the CD place, that was a fucking... That's what you know, Lou, part of my dislike of parole jam, I told it was like the day, it was like a month apart, you're a fans, you know, a month apart, they released one day they came, you know, it stock the CDs, like alphabetically and stuff. And then they released all the same exact cover CD, Pearl Jam, the entire North American tour,

every city, its own CD. But you had to read the sticker. Right. You have to read the sticker to see where it is. Every cover was exactly the same, which is the sticker would say like, you know, Austin, you know, whatever. Every show they recorded a CD for it.

Like Carlos Mansia. 100% of them. Right. White cover black typeface. Yeah. Yeah. And then a month later, the entire European tour. That's right.

So in that place... How excited. The European tour was brown, so you could tell those apart. Yeah. When that place came, that's what I said. I was like, hey, I can't come in whatever day that I was scheduled for because I got this comedy thing up in New York. And he was like, I need you.

Come and no one else can do it. I go, I'm not doing it. And he was like, he goes, you don't come in that day. You couldn't come back at all. I went, okay. Jane's the most sweetest, non-confrontational guy ever. Hey, you did that. All right, I'll see you later.

A lot of my jobs, I just never went back. And then one day they'd call. And I think they liked me so much. They would be like, hey, are you ever coming back? And I go, no. Sorry, you didn't realize it. Sorry, I thought you realized I was gone and moved on. I got a job at Schmedley's Pub.

What's at Yukon? Schmedley's Irish Pub. How's Schmedley doing? Schmedley's a right. He died, but his kid took over. They'd serve food. You've never had the Schmedley sauce on fries? Schmedley, dude, a Schmedley burger?

Are the afternoon smetly salad? Schmedley's at Yukon. You got a Schmedley soup? I got a job working there and they go, have you cooked before? Like a fry cook? And I'm like, yeah, I never had. And they go, all right, well, your first day is Super Bowl Sunday. Scalops and Carpaccio.

And I got hammered Saturday and I didn't go in and they called and they go, why aren't you here? and I was like, oh, you meant this Super Bowl? And they were like, you're fired. So I got fired before I even went in one day. I think that's got to be a record. Maybe. Well, yeah, that is a record. Mine was, my record was UPS.

I went for the initiation at the video night. To load trucks. Yeah, but the video night I went to watch. And I mean, that video night, you walk out of that video with like a feeling of like, yeah, there's no reason to go to college. I will work my way. You throw these things in the trucks for a while. Then they tell you, they point up in the factory and they go,

see that people up there, those are the sorters. Easy job there. That's just, makes much more money than you. Well, then what? Then you get to the 18-wheel drivers. That's the moment. The 18-wheel drivers isn't the real way. It's the fucking brown truck guys are the ones who make the money.

And if you get up there, like, looking over $100,000 a year, which when I was a kid, I was like, you know, me more than that forever. Yeah, yeah, immediately. Yeah. And I went one night, and they just, they're firing that. fucking conveyor boat of boxes at me and they they gave me a fucking big laminate this big of zip codes

that I had to make sure everyone before I built this very very specific kind of wall building they wanted done that was what the video is mostly about like building the wall the way it's supposed to be built and then but they also want you to grab every package find the label and then small type

like is it one of the 50 fucking zip codes I have on here like you can't memorize it. Then I stopped giving a shit about that and started making the walls and I hope it's their stuff's in here. I hope it's the right packages. There's the reason why you don't get your packages? He's redoing like Michelangelo's David out of boxes.

The fucking, dude, the upstairs. He actually built an apartment. You can take a nap in? The upstairs, people, the sorters. I'm like, well, they're making more money. They should do their fucking thing right. Why am I down here getting pegged with boxes? I got to check everything.

So I stopped checking. And then it didn't matter because they're just coming down so fast. You're trying to build this wall. Then I started just kicking them off the conveyor belt and frustration. And then I left and I went home and I'd so much soot my lungs. I went home and sneezed and it was like black on the thing. And then my Jewish mom was like, you can't go back there. I was like, I know.

It was so mean to me. It was crazy. They're throwing boxes and I was scared. And she's like, I was scared. And she was like, you come here. You just go back to babysitting your brother and sisters. And I was like, yeah, I'm just going to stay here.

You go back to tummy time, Jay. Go back to tummy time. She goes, we're a FedEx family now. I'm just going to watch my brother and sisters for money. You're right. It's scary out there in the world. That's what happened. I'd go,

I'm just sitting here. Babysitting your kids all the time. Oh, my friend's got money because they have jobs. I need to fucking go and get a job. They go, all right, go get a job. And I come back a baby. I hate it there. I can't watch TV or nothing.

I can't even wear my yellow blouse. I can't answer when my girlfriend beeps me? You go, Mom, can I have two bowls of cereal tonight? I've never been fired from a job. Huh? I've never been fired. You just walked away. I've never walked away.

What? I've never been fired. I've always had a... I think the first job, the real job, I worked in a farm for a summer. I just didn't get fired from a farm. I didn't get fired from the... The cow just goes, m'r, kicked out the fucking gate. That's HR.

The first day, I told you that before, the first day on the farm, there was, I showed up at like 5.30 in the morning, and the guy was like, if you want eggs, you can go to the chicken coop and get eggs. And I was like, oh, my God, I went and got eggs. I cooked eggs in the kitchen of this farmhouse. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. What? And then my boss was this big lesbian kind of bulky lady in overalls.

And she came out and she was like, well, I want to show you what going to do. But if you want to go take a walk around and check out the farm. And then I walked up and there was a mentally retarded kid who worked on the farm too. It was like a, you know, they had juvenile delinquents and mentally retarded kids. What if you found it was just retarded kids and you thought you were a juvenile delinquent? If this whole time I just thought about us retarded? I'm a hire. I'm serious.

You got to bring you back. to the farm. I'm actually, it was all delinquents. He goes, how many delinquents were there? He goes, I guess only me when I think back on it. Wait a second. Maybe you go back to the farm school for retards?

I was just your retarded brother, your mom. When Dan left, he was like, bring your brother in. Bring your brother in. I remember I walked up to me. He had a cat. He was holding this cat. And the cat was like, just almost asleep lying in his arms. And as I got closer, he had his finger in the cat's vagina.

What? And I went, hey man, I don't think you could do that. He's like, I'm showing you that I can. No, he went... It's like, a milk in the prostate. Yeah, he goes, he thought you, I didn't think I could either, but look, it's in there. He said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, which means he's been caught before. Of course.

Right? But the cat was like, man, mind your business. Yeah, dude, this poor cat's coming. The cat was like, uh... Me, yeah. You cock-blocking, motherfucker-and-buck. But I've never, I've never been fired. I've always...

left on good. I worked at a styrofoam factory making styrofoam balls. For what? For ornaments. Was that next to the spring factory? No. I used to when I went when I got on it. Does that you learn how to us? Spit on that thing? I had my boss was Mr. Goldberg. I mean, right out of the Simpsons. Yeah, really? Bobby, come here for us. You had a desk in the middle of this factory. I had two Mexicans ladies and I had a mentally retarded guy was my boss. There was a theme here. Yeah. He was your boss?

Yeah, he was my boss. He was making the balls longer than me. Oh, yeah, styrofoam balls. Dude, he was fucking great. I bet. He made a perfect ball. It was a half ball and you make another half ball. And then the Mexican ladies would glue the balls together.

You're a newbie, so you probably want to use a breather so you don't get the fumes and you're not used to it yet. You're just not used to it. Yeah, you'll get used to it. And then you probably won't have to use the beer. I mean, for a long time. We used to take the scrap balls and we used to make, like, you know, the peanuts. for packing.

We'd make that and he used to yell at me all the time because I would fuck it up and I would like overfill the thing. No, no, no, I'll fit the body and then too much. This is great.

It's not that hard to make strap balls into packing peanut. What are you? Which, hon. He thinks he's a juvenile delinquent. Hey, New Kid thinks he's here from jail.

He's telling everybody was this or jail. I would go to two. classes a day in high school ninth grade two classes and then I would go work at the styrofoam factory I mean that's that's a retarded day what if right now the voice I hear goes away and I just hi that's a retarded day that's all retarded day I went to a special need school and then I fucking went to styrofoam factory because everything's so dangerous you say left Bobby in a field trip yeah it's better to work at the fucking sharp corners

factory. Can I say something? Which is really weird. My later job, I lived with six elderly retarded men. I know. You always think you were in charge but you were just one of them always. No one gets involved in retarded people this much. Oh my god. What if Don's not my wife?

She's my aunt. She's her caretaker? She's just my aunt. My parents died. She left Bobby as well enough to get money from the government to take care of them. I mean, we don't have sex. That would be weird. She'd be breaking her Contract.

Yeah. Holy shit. I think I've been fired from pretty much every job I've ever had. Really? With the exception of maybe like. You know, this one, well, I can't. I mean, I probably would have been if I didn't own the company. Well, you didn't get fired from the stand, did you?

Yeah. Fire? Not fired. You got fired? No, I got demoted. Wait a minute. I mean. Didn't they just make it uncomfortable?

Yeah. You were like, I'm not coming back. It's fired. Why didn't he was fired? Dude, it was the best. It was Maureen Tarran and I started talking to her a lot when she first kind of went solo there. It was kind of like towards the end of true TV or something, but she was talking about getting back into managing. I didn't know enough about anything.

I was kind of like. When did that conversation end a week ago? Yeah. But no, she was like, you know, she was for people to know she just worked for like Barry Katz and everything. She worked at True TV for a long time, but I like Maureen. I love her. And just like in the time of like chatting with her, I was kind of like, maybe like, maybe Maureen would be a good party.

She worked with Barry Katz and stuff. And I was like, you know, at this point I was already like, Chris Italia is the dumbest person who ever met my life. Yeah. I'm like, the owner of the stand is, you know, one half of them was the great David Kimowitz. And the other one is retarded actually. I'm surprised you to run into one of your fucking cats. Yeah, maybe he was.

Did he have his finger in a cat's ass? Yeah. It might have been him. He might have been thinner. Chris Italia is a numb finger in cat's ass. Let me see if he can get you in you know He goes, I'm smart Not like dad said

Bobby can get Jerry Rosetheyes Bobby, you're losing me Put his finger into his cats Is? Bobby, you got to make a stout from ball for you only mate Heet, heat, heat, heat, heat Hey.

Well, anyway, I was like, he's retarded So I have to kind of get at a dog I'm just, you know, I love Dave But I was like, he's just He's making most of my phone calls at this point And he's fucking up, huge so my agent doesn't like him at all. And then, what you'd call it?

So what the fuck? Where was I asked? Maureen. Yeah. So I was like, maybe I'll run with Maureen and think about going to her. And then just in talking there, I was dating, just kind of new dating Christine. And Christine and her really got along. And, you know, she looked up to Maureen.

Maureen's like an executive at a network and stuff and worked with Barry Katz. So she's kind of like, you know, taken by Maureen a little bit. And Maureen's almost about, like, maybe possibly working with her or something like that. And like, and I think Christine just gave like, You said like a tell-all or something to Maureen, and then, like, they saw it. No, I wrote her an email that her assistant saw and her assistant told them. But I didn't know, I figured out it was the assistant later. Yeah, okay.

I just was like, how did he possibly see this email? And it's like, you should never put anything right. I'm a little confused. So you wrote a tell-all about the stand and how shitty they were? Not a tell-all. It was an email. I was just kind of bad-mouthed thing. Bishing about them.

And the assistant ratted you out to them. I believe. So it's so funny. So it was pretty funny like when Kim was, because, you know, the voice of reason and the situation,

he is my manager still and he was and him and Chris broke up. But even in that moment, like, he said the most rationally he was like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, I'm not firing her because like we love her, but I mean like, come on. He was like, we can't have somebody

who works for us talking about us like that and complaining about our whole job. It was like really complaining about the business running of the stand. So they were kind of like, if you can't work.

And so I was kind of like, Boston like I honestly I wasn't thinking I was being you know I wasn't I was also very I mean I was like 26 at the time yeah it's very young so it is just funny but it is just so funny though it's just like you know they came that but even Dave when he talked me I was kind of like yeah I guess you got demote or what are you going to do like it wasn't even that they like asked me if I wanted to go part time and I said yes which was really stupid but they were also kind of offering it they kind of did that and almost like quit yeah yeah and then she eventually was kind of like oh I get it And quit.

They go by part-time. No, it wasn't that. It was weird. It was like, then I got back in and I was starting to manage the standing room.

Oh my God. They sent you to Queens. That's right. They sent you to Pergatory. And I was working like all the time. Yeah, in that fucking bowling alley of a club. And then eventually I was able to.

That was a great room when you were there. I used to go there a lot when you were there. It was fun. Yeah. But I did get fired from comics, stand up New York, Comic strip live, and buy gnome from the seller,

but not from the club from his show. How are you still in the business? I started my own company. Why did you get fired from the comics? Very mouthy. Oh, yeah, that's true. You got fired by the seller? No, by Noam.

Why? What did you get fired from No? He didn't like the way I was booking a show. She goes, hey, can you help me book? You were helping Ron Beddington do Ron and Fez show. Get like comics. Like, can you help us with booking? And then she's like, yeah, sure.

And then she was coming back with like, hey, I've got Joe List and blah, blah. He's like, I was thinking more of like a gnome child. Tombsky or maybe Donald Trump he was there he's like how about Donald Trump he was how about Donald Trump Jr she's like okay I was thinking more Joey gay yeah I guess I could see what's going on with Dan Rather he really did take the comedy podcast into some political stupid it just wasn't what I thought the show was he's like he's like he doesn't the show the people who are fans of the show it wasn't what they thought it was going to be either

noam's like do you have Desmond tutus of ales for I mean really You're right about the prime minister. You're right about the UPS drivers. What a gig. My friend, he went right into UPS, became a driver right out of high school, retired at 52, took less.

If he worked one more year, he would have made full pension, but he was just done. He had made so much money. And by the way, for the last two years of his work in there, it was one day a week. We said,

you just work one more year for one day a week? You went, ah. No kidding. I couldn't be bothered. Do you know how much he made? I mean, enough to, he just plays golf and fishes all days. I mean, he's done. Spits on a bunch of things. For set up, he's content.

If you could get into, I remember thinking about that UPS job. Yeah, I think about it every weekend when I had mine. You're in shape, you could still do it. I'm going to get that 7-Eleven job on that. I'm going to start eating hot dog. and chips. I'm going to start my own comedy company.

Buddy, because I say something? You can just, you know where the bags of nacho cheese are. You could just keep putting more bags and cranking more cheese on your stuff. It's like an utter of cheese. Yeah, I didn't know to make it hotter the cheese.

I knew to crank it up. I learned all the little things where you take this and then you put it in the microwave and then zap that for a second. That's so great. Pull the bun. Man, I really do. I did not have a problem working there.

If there was, it didn't exist then, that would have been fucking great. If I had like a laptop or just a phone that I could set up and watch stuff all night, I may have never quit night shift at a 7-Eleven. I would have had to get robbed violently to shake me from doing that job.

And you wouldn't have to rob me that violently because if I wouldn't have gotten caught doing anything, I would have been like, dude, take whatever you want, man. Who show would we be on right now? He'd be like, guys, I don't, you don't have to rob me. He's like, take it. Hey, grab the end of this win-for-life spool and run and let me see it.

I'm curious how far you can get before the spool runs out. Let's start, you're the lady in the trap, I'm in the middle. Hey, grab these fucking bingo doublers. Win for life's my favorite. Yeah. It is the most alluring.

You don't want to just win tonight. You want to win for life. I don't win for life. To me, though, it's another like you scratch it off and you're done. If I'm going to spend $10 on a fucking piece of paper that's probably worth nothing, I want to play a game. I want to play a crossword puzzle or I want to play bingo. I want win for life.

I want life. I know you're looking at the prize. I assume we're never going to win. I'm like, how could I kill 15 minutes playing bingo on the scratchoff card? With the chance that, as I'm sitting here half giving a shit, maybe I'm a millionaire, I don't even know it. Are you buying smokes? You go, you know what? Let me get a royal rumble.

Twice a year. Twice a year? Twice a year. A couple of them? Me and Bobby and Rie got them won. We never got to cash them in. No. Never did.

Every so often. My grandfather likes him as a gift. Mike, you're married. I am. How's that going? What the fuck? Great. Oh, I thought you'd just be able to run into a joke doing Byron Allen. I'm sorry.

Damn, Mike. Dude, man, I'm sorry. I'm leashed again. Who put you back on the leash? Mikey Fanoia is going to be the Mohegan Sun, July 2nd to the 4th. Zanies, downtown Chicago, July 9th through the 11th. Zanisnashville, August 28th and 29 for tickets and all of his tour dates. Go to Mike Fanoia, F-N-O-I-A.

Mike Fanoia.com and check out Saturday night shakedown every Saturday, 8 to 9 p.m. on Sirius XM, Grateful Dead Channel, and follow him at Mike Fanoi on all socials. Punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly for all his tickets. He's going to be a governor's Levittown, June 19th and 20th. Comedy Mothership in Austin, July 3rd to the 5th. After that, Port Smith, New Hampshire.

Saratoga Springs in Brooklyn, New York, for tickets in all tour dates one more time. Punchup.com slash Robert Kelly. And of course, every Tuesday night, fat black quisket lounge to comedy cell, or 7PM. That's tonight. Big J. He's going to be the Pantages. Correct.

Pentages Theater in Minneapolis this weekend. June 12th, then he's going right over to the Egyptian Theater in Boise, Idaho. Mike, he's going to be with me on both those. June 13th. Oh, that's cool. After that, he'll be in Buffalo, Harrisburg, PA, Winnipeg for tickets and all the tour days. BigJ Comedy.com, YouTube.com, slash at Big J. Okerson, for all his videos and live shows. We'll be right back.

It's the bonfire.