The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sixth Gear Summer (feat. Mike Finoia)

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

The Summer of Sixth Gear is here! Bob explains that he only has two gears when it comes to his anger and the sixth gear is the angriest! He buys a kayak and it goes terribly wrong. Mike Finoia coins the term Sixth Gear Summer. Jay makes a PowerPoint presentation about Maren Morris who may have performed with her genitals showing. To hear the full show and subscribe to SXM go to www.siriusxm.com/bonfire FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Dance I'm gonna die. Oh nice. This is a little rap part. This is the worst Bring it down seal You wrote this doesn't scare me at all He got those scars from going down on a girl in Africa he's a black rapist she had one of those Rambo traps down there with this bunch of sticks and they just fucking close it on his face. Like how he got Predator? Well he yeah he didn't give her a good enough dowry and she put that it's called the dowry trap. Oh babe, dowry trap. And it's... Wow! Tom wants to fly I love you so much

I love you I love that you just went with it Oh babe Dollar drop Wow Wow Now they said it was like some kind of scarring and then it was like an accident

It always... The story changes a bunch I think It's because when he was coming out the tongs they used to pull him out You know that actually happened That's why Tom Popper If you know Tom Popper He has scars on his face Mm-hmm From his mom's pussy tongs? Yeah to pull him out. You know that actually happened, that's why Tom Popper, if you know Tom Popper, he has scars on his face.

From his mom's pussy tongs? Yeah, I swear to God. Netflix really is a joke. Tom Popper? Yeah, Tom Popper has scars on his face because they were pulling him out as a baby with tongs. It wasn't done yet. It wasn't done. It wasn't done like his yeast bread. Now look, he's making bread. Now he's making bread like everybody. know I made bread before him, and he stole my bread thing Bobby bakes bread Triple B Bobby goes I bake bread Bobby breaks bread is that show I he did steal that I I told you the story stole being friends with Rob Zombie for me fucking Tom Papa dude

We talked about that when I was with him, but he was like that's such a great story He loves that story Rob Zombie just never interested in being friends with me. But friends with Tom Papa wearing loafers and like a tucked in golf shirt. Close friends with Tom Papa. Stay in touch. He threw Tom Papa's newest movie. Because he loves ascots and hats. Didn't Rob Zombie direct his specials?

Yes! Rob Zombie directed one of his specials. And you saw them. You had Ari Shaffir direct yours. The same guy directs all of his specials. And you saw them in the back. You had Ari Shaffir direct yours. The same guy directs all of my specials. And Tom Papa looked at you and goes, I know, right? Oh yeah, when I saw him at the, at Ozfest, I was like, Tom Papa? I know.

He goes, I know. I know. Okay. I know. I love Tom. I have to tell you, the the time, I called up Colin Quinn on April Fools, and I called him up, and I was like, bro, I'm in, I'm over by, um,

in the West Village, over by Christopher Street, and Tom Papa is with a young guy, like, almost like a boy, just fucking making out in a vestibule. They're passionately kissing each other. He goes, fucking knew it. I was like, oh God. Too believable, dude.

Too believable. Too believable. I almost had to call. Just kissed on a boy. I almost called Collin the other day, because. But you didn't have his number? No, I have his number. No.

I can give it to you. 555-1212. Dude, if it makes sense, I almost called Eddie Murphy the other day. I have his number. I can give it to you if you need it. I can give it to you. 555-1212. Does that make sense? I almost called Eddie Murphy the other day. I was about to call him. I went outside and went, Colin. No, I'm going on cholesterol medicine. I got some gaguts in my heart. And the doctor told me to go.

You go on a vacation to Greece, Rome, and fuck it. Czechoslovakia. I asked him, I go, can I start the medicine when I get back? I go, because I start the medicine when I get back? They go, cause it's just gonna be like. Before we start going hands across America for Mike, he said he's got a little gagout. A little bit.

So before you ever get to a point where in 10 years you need a surgery for this or something, let's give you some cholesterol. There's a test you could get, 100, I'm a hypochondriac too, I notice when we tell things, he goes, I mean, when the guy told me I had skin dots, and he goes, it's always just this one thing that you're having, but we always got a test for leukemia.

And I was like, well, you might as well tell me I have leukemia. I just went home and started putting my house in order. I was like, Mom. I remember that. See this? Mom, I hope you don't want Carla's car because Christine's getting that.

Yeah, and Gil's getting all of that. want my carless car because Christine's getting that yeah There's so many of those cups I got a lot of I sent a picture you know the fish ones Yeah, look at this see this I gotta go get this checked Is it I don't know it's either it's either. It's canter. It's a genital warts. Oh I don't know. It's either it's either it's cancer or it's genital warts. It's a little ozzy-ago. It could just be a little rash. It could be a little rash from shaving but like maybe cancer. I love that Christine got the joke. On your neck.

They do a test. I don't know. No it's not from shaving. Look. What is it? Is it a rash or something? No it's not. It's been there for like a while. Oh man it looks like a spider bite. It's not a fucking spider bite. Could be. It's been there for a year. Well you keep asking us what it is and we take guesses like a spider bite. It's not a fucking spider bite. Could be. It's been there for a year.

Well you keep asking us what it is and we take guesses and you yell at us it's not the thing. Because you keep guessing wrong and it's scaring me. But you don't know what it is, so you don't even know if we're wrong. I know it's not a spider bite. You don't know that.

I do. How? Because spider bites go away or you die. Maybe the spider keeps coming back. Remember you've got that dusty ass kayak impulse purchase and then smashed your car to pieces with it recently. Yeah, maybe it's Ringworm. That hurts.

Hey, maybe that's harder. That hurts that I open up to you. Don't you remember you bought that? And you make it radio fodder. Remember you bought that shitty kayak and then your friend came over and bashed your car apart? First of all. And then there's a bunch of Anson's spiders.

Can I say something? Big Paul, Big Paul? Man Pete, right? It's Paulie G. Oh, Paulie G. Guy Man Dude. My man friend. Suburban. Oh, Paulie G. Guy Man Dude? My man friend. Suburban Ron?

I have a bunch of Guy Man friends from my cigar lounge. Guy Man Dude. He's one of them. He has fucking gorilla hands and shoulders and he's a big dude. I, I, I. What, do you feel him like a slave? Yeah.

God, dude, this guy's a brick shithouse. I make him arm wrestle me at like a midnight. Every Monday. He goes, come over here and punch me in the face. I go like. He goes, Paul, can I come over and just fucking deck you, dude? I love how you do not, you just smile punch me in the face. I go like. He goes, Paul, can I come over and just fucking deck you? I love how you just smile and keep eating your sandwich. I go like this.

I punch you and then French you. I go like this, dude, I wanna get some. So, I've developed, you know I'm an addict. I'm addicted to every, I was addicted to food, I was addicted to drugs, I was addicted to sex. Now you're addicted to one man watercraft. I was addicted to drugs. I was addicted to sex. And they're addicted to one man watercraft. I was addicted. Well.

Now he's addicted to surviving in completely survivable situations. Dude, I got addicted to knives. I got addicted to fidget spinners. That was fun. How many people can go on this kayak? So I got addicted to getting a vintage trailer. Right, I remember that.

Okay, so I am hunting all day, all night, taking a shit. I need something from my ADHD, my craziness, because I don't take drugs for it, to consume that. Can I tell you, can I give you an idea that can get you away from some of this spending? Have you thought about hanging from doorknobs and jerking off?

Ooh. Yes, I have. Because it does fill, apparently, an addictive void. It's a gift that keeps giving. I was addicted to that in 98. Would you be willing to do me a favor and try out my new product where you have to acknowledge it every 30 seconds, and you can tell people, it goes, I come, I've passed out, never died.

I could use some, what I need is some user reviews. I'm a survivor. So I was addicted to this fucking vintage trailer thing, but I need is some user reviews. I'm a survivor. So I was addicted to this fucking vintage trailer thing, but I can't get it. We're buying the house, she's yelling at me, don't get it. What do they go for, roughly? The one I wanted was five grand. Which one? No, a vintage.

The one that looks like a toaster? No, I don't want the AeroStream. The AeroStream is, don't take away, just camper. The AeroStream's too much money. I would love one of those. An Airstream is my dream. But it's- You want this ice cream car?

What are you gonna molest Max's friends? Yeah, that one. Mr. Kelly didn't mean to be cruel. I love the shark. Somebody hurt him too. How great is it? I wanna get that for the tiny house. That's the same trail or that Drake Bell gets molested

in the video that he gets molested in. Awesome. That looks like a diner in Vermont. It really does. how great would it be to flick Christine's bean in that? Dude, I just want to go in there and eat a grilled cheese Yeah, she's like a paper like waitress hat dude you guys can smoke you can do whatever you want You come to the tiny house you stay in the little vintage trailer You can make you coffee go in there, and it's like life would be a dream look at that I'm green one. I love it. This is definitely this is by the way these campers were for a time

They made them all steel so no one could hear the kids scream Yeah, I was addicted to cameras that I was addicted to murder In the buried children I can't turn it off. I'm one and sick. I'm zero So I got first gear six gear, baby. I got off He goes I'm thinking about fucking a kid. I'm fucking them by the gag I'm first gear 6th gear Kelly Either I'm not or I'm fucking them all. He goes look I'm thinking I'm mildly thinking about fucking and murdering children

I'm fucking them all. Alright, you know what dude? I made a decision. I'm doing it. I'm fucking and killing all the children 6th gear! And the kid goes Mr. Kelly, what are you doing? 6th gear kid, I'm sorry! killing all the children Six gear summer! Life is a highway! So I got, I got fucked up with these trailers. I couldn't stop looking. I almost bought one last weekend. The guy sold it out from underneath me. I was this close in Connecticut buying one of these

trailers right there. On the way home he bought like an electric guitar and an amp. Just gotta buy, spend money on something. I'm with you. I do that same kind of thing. I goes, then I want an electric guitar and an amp. You've never said you wanted that in your life before I want a thing before I go home What I really want I really want a Pepsi Rolex. I can't afford it right now So I'm on the pinball machine. I went to Max I go dude your kayak is too small

I go watch get a new kayak. He goes. I don't want one but in front of dawn He goes I'm like't you get a new kayak? He goes, I don't want one, but in front of Don. He goes, I'm like, you should get a new kayak. You're too big. He goes, I like my kayak. She goes, we don't need a new kayak. He said no, leave it alone. I'm like, yeah, but I want to get him a fishing kayak. He's got like one of those cheap Walmart ones.

I want to get him one like mine. I have like a real good fishing kayak. So I fucking, I couldn't stop looking at him. If the shit goes down, you have to kayak away from your family. You guys shoulda got kayaks! So I... I was kayaking down the Hutchinson River

Parkway. I sold Max's bed last night on Facebook Marketplace. I love Facebook Marketplace. I sold his, he had one of those Captain beds. Oh, the bed, right. Someone bought it. He sold it right from underneath of... Get up!

You guys need to make a little pillow for it or something. Get up, I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. You don't have a bed. You understand, it killed me though, watching his bed go out. I mean, nine years of going, you know what I mean? I fucking killed me. I like that Mike is almost putting it that your addiction is selling your son's furniture from underneath him.

Dad, where is my dresser? He goes, Don son. He's like, I started with his tennis racket, then his gi, now his bed. I sold my dresser he goes Don son Then it's gee I saw his bed. I saw this dress. Yeah, you're like, sorry son. I woke up with an itch I had to scratch I sold the table Selling it for drugs goes just like selling and then buying T-shirt give I know you're listening get on the six-year summer the six-year summer is a fucking fantastic Shirt this is really just Bobby Kelly's fucking screaming in a kayak Shedding his mouth

How much is the one to the bottom it's a shittiest shittiest kayak. Oh, these are motor boats. Oh, no You got kayaks. Oh, no Here's a problem so I I'm on last night late night have motors I you can put a motor on him I am I think It's a boat. Yeah, so I'm like I Flipped out came up one came up. I was like I was gonna buy it. He goes someone's buying it. He goes up Sorry, it's gone. So, one came up, I was like, I was gonna buy it, he goes, someone's buying it, and he goes, oh, I'm sorry, it's gone. So I one came up right after that, it's near me, because that's the whole game you play, you wanna get it kinda near where you're at.

So it comes up, I go, dude, 400 bucks, I'll give you 350, he goes, I can deal with that, I'll pick it up tomorrow. But I don't have a car, I left my pickup truck. 350 bucks for a kayak? Well, they're only, they're not 800 bucks. Oh This is the problem. That's not a boat. That's a fucking motorboat. We have wait a minute timeout. That's a kayak That's a fishing kayak. Was it a wooden kayak like no, it's a plastic kayak

But they're made so you can stand up on them You they have a real seat in it so it doesn't hurt you back fish off the back fish right there I'm all your shit underneath down the feet fish. No, no, you don't you sit on top. You don't go in the kayak inside kayak stick. It's it's on top kayak Has a nice chair the chair. Yeah, you see the chair. So how can challenge you you're looking at? I got that I got that I got no the kayak the blue kayak I think I got the blue one who the Johnny boats bass 100. I got that one. Yeah that right there That's a nice kayak, yeah. Okay, full of spiders and...

Here's the problem though. Spiders and ants. So I... That bit your neck. So... And then gave you fucking AIDS cancer. So, I didn't have AIDS cancer. You got neck worms.

So I'm on last night, I realized I don't have a truck. I'm panicking, I got Dawn's Lexus. Now you gotta buy a truck. I can't find a... I can't find a... I didn't think of that! Now I gotta buy a fucking truck to get up there. You could have bought a truck.

So I call up my man... That's like doing a speed ball. I call up my man friend, Paul G, and he's like, where are you? I go, he goes, I'm with the family at the deli getting the thing. I go, ah... This is your crime? Hey, I'm knocking around doing this and that. What are you gonna think?

Just a mustard. I go like this, I go, dude, I need your truck. I got a kayak. I have Dawn's car I can't fit it. I got a block. He goes. Where are you? He goes send me the address I'll meet you up there, so I send him the address he shows up with his his suburban But he has all his kids and his wife in it. It's loaded with car. So I go like this I go bro. We can't we can't stick a kayak in your truck. You have children. Does bro man guy have a-

I have a better idea. Let's just bust this thing into my wife's car against all odds. So I go over to it. First of all, the guy didn't clean the kayak. It's got all ants and spider webs on it. Piece of shit. So the guy shows up.

Neck spiders. Hands me the, I hand him the money. I go, dude, you got a hose? He goes, nah, I don't. I go, okay. Cause I'm in first gear. Right? So then Paul's like, come on, let's go.

We'll load it in your car. We'll fit. So he puts all my seats down, takes all the things in the Lexus off, pushes the stuff, organize, and we just push it into my car. And he pushes it all the way to the front, smashes the front window, the windshield

of my wife's car. He goes, Bobby, I forgot to tell you, it's six gear summer. Six gear summer. Big Paul runs off. Six gear summer. Six gear summer. Fuck your windshield, fuck your wife. Place it at the table.

Fuck your kids car, fuck your wife's car. You're a fucking addict, motherfucker, stop buying shit. Six gear summer. Six gear summer. Six gear summer buys a truck. Six gear summer. Six gear summer. Six gear summer.

Six gear summer. Six gear summer. Six gear fucking addict motherfucker stop lying shit 6 gear summer, boom boom boom boom So, so 6 gear summer buys a truck Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo So now I'm driving home in my wife's brand new Lexus, windshield smash, and then I look and it's just ants all over my fucking arm. Oh no. So I'm going down the Teutonic fucking highway and I got ants. Like fucking Candyman, you're covered in bugs. It's like Clark Rizvold when he was bringing the tree home.

I gotta get home, I gotta clean this stupid thing. I gotta take it. I gotta call Dawn, tell her what happened. A bird hit the window. Safe flight repair. Safe flight replace. What if she goes... Called safe flight. This was broken from the inside. So now Paul calls me and goes, hey, how much was that kayak? I go, it's probably 800 bucks total. He goes, I had 350. You paid 350. it's gonna cost you 500 for the

windshield all right well that's 750 you save 50 bucks I'm like a frig Wow he goes I'm gonna go back and fight that deli you're gonna uncork on somebody somebody's catching the beating you wanted to give big ball I can't give it to him no he's big he's gigantic yeah no understood is he big dude yeah I'm saying listen we don't I don't want this to him. No, he's big. He's gigantic. Yeah, no understood. Is he big dude? Yeah, I'm saying listen We don't I don't want this to be this is the summer of six gear Not the summer of week after week getting chumped in front of your son I had to call Paul up because she had to pull the fridge got frozen and he had to pull the back

And Don's like can you pull the back off? I go I'll call Paul I'll call Paul do that Paul came over with his gorilla hands. I would call Paul and go Paul there's a roach I killed it but I'm not touching it. No just pick it up with a tip with a napkin. No but I know it's in there. Dude I'm with my wife doing that stuff with those guys I'll be over in two seconds. Come over right now Paul cause's six gear summer, I'm starting to feel it. He always takes his family everywhere. They'd sit in the car, he leaves the windows up, it's running. It's three in the morning, good, I'll be there in two seconds.

Dude, I was like, you came in six gear summer buying fucking kayaks, and then he smashed your window, and he goes, sorry about that, and you're like, six gear summer. It's like, time to downshift into four. Oh, one, back to gear one. Could you tell, do you have like, can't like a safe light come and you go, a branch fell.

I told Dawn, yeah, well a bird hit the window. That's what it did. Can a great artist make a caricature of Bobby just coming fucking in sixth gear, screaming? It's one of those big teeth, like a real caricature. We can do that right now with AIs. Hey everybody, if you're listening to the Bonfire as a podcast, you gotta know there's a whole second half of the show that you're not getting to hear.

Look, if you love the Bonfire, which we know you do, this is just half of the show. Go subscribe to SiriusXM at SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire. Subscribe right now. Did you see the new AI that's coming out? You can draw something on your phone now and it will take over and make an actual artist rendering of it and different versions of it now. So like if you wanted a logo of Six Gear Summer, you could draw just me with my hands, right? Six Gear Summer, hit the button and it'll make an artist rendition of it in different

stuff. On what? On your iPhone, the new AI that's coming out and the new Samsung. The iPhone's too small. Dude, the new Samsung, you can take a photo and draw anything on a photo of somebody. Cock in the mouth? Cock in the mouth. Yeah! Penis on the forehead? It'll make a real cock. Shut up. Dude. Man, this is really exciting exciting I haven't waiting for a phone that will get my put a cock in someone's mouth a picture needs Everything always like the aperture and this and low light whatever I just need to be able to very simply with a few clicks put a cock in someone's mouth I'm an addict to guys. I need my things Your megapixels in your ass. I want a cock in the mouth. I don't understand. What. I need my things. Keep your haptics. Stick your megapixels in your ass.

I want a cock in the mouth. I don't understand, what's my RAM, my gigs, they're gonna slow my thing down because of my screen time and data usage. Just let me fucking shove a very realistic cock in someone's open mouth in a picture. So nuts what we're gonna be, it's putting a lot of people out of work.

Did you see the- AI is gonna fuck- The people who put cocks in mouths for real pictures. I'm minor to that in college. That industry of people out of work. AI is gonna fuck. The people who put cocks and mouths for real pictures. I'm minor to that in college. That industry's going out of business. Well, cock and mouth. Did you see the- While we were talking about Madonna, by the way, just gonna wanna get this off the sheet here

when we have stuff, we should talk to her, woman of the year speech she gave. Did you hear it? No, but- I haven't heard this, but they're saying she's fucking crazy, she sounds. I saw a little bit of it. She should have died. Madonna? it. She should have died.

Madonna? She should have died. If she had died a few years ago, she'd be, everybody would love her forever. She should get AIDS now and then die from that. She'll be a real martyr. She goes, oh, I'm not even gonna, I'm gonna die from it.

I wanna see what everybody felt, went through. She just goes and lays on a rock. I'm gonna see what all my dancers from my first and second tour died from. Yeah. Yeah. I wanna feel what they felt. Take a true empath.

Anyways, I have to, I gotta stop. Facebook marketplaces, dude, I almost bought a bow and arrow last night. Really? Just one arrow? Yes. But I'm just, I'm just trying. Just one bow and one arrow.

So you sell your son's bed and then buy a crossbow Are you guys moving to the walking dead or where are you moving? I thought was nice area I can't mark you can type it anything you want. I know on Christine go to Facebook marketplace used butt plug Dude, I bet I bet I bet eBay eBay has it but I use a plug sure there's no way sure But plug let me look on my phone Plug plug no but plug, but is there a safe search you could take off? Oh look Louie No, is that one in the bottom right? Is this a real painful one? That's actually a Real painful one you can't buy oh wait wait there's one. Oh earplug. That's for a real small, but Christine's having pocket pussy

Finger my ass that's for love What's that it's Different Facebook groups that you have to do it by neighborhood, and it's just change it tells you where the molesters are It's not come free how come when she's put in pocket pussy the universal Latin dictionary game eBay has a bunch of them Christine go to eBay and look up used butt plugs look a pocket slut. Oh pocket slot Yo face Facebook marketplace sucks. I can't get a used fucking butt plug. Oh wait But look there you can get a bug to a butt to plug Apparently down there next to that on eBay. We looked at a picture of bad, baby

Apparently down there next to that on eBay. We looked at a picture of bad, baby We're looking for a bad baby fathead I want a trailer now again take the trailers off wait hang on Anal shower enema douche nozzle wash anus Vaget Christine look at that please No, you'll Bobby yeah, but I think it's a hollow cleaning anal shower and I why'd you turn around? Why did you turn into a rapper? Yo Bob? Yo Bobby? What's up? Yo Mike? What's up? So what if you had someone that you could partner with on some of these purchases? Those the butt plug What is it it's cups that you put rice Oh, it's hollow cleaning anal shower and a Medusa nozzles where you can wash your anus vaginal colon cleaner.

You put this butt plug in, but it's opening the side. It just gapes you enough where you can really fire a ho... What is it again? Hollow cleaning anal shower and a madouche nozzle wash anus vaginal colon cleaner. I'm gonna name my next son that. Please. Oh, look how that works, dude.

That's gonna clean my colon so good? Dude, it's like a stent for Kelly. Oh, look how that works, dude. Wow. That's gonna clean my cones so good. Dude, it's like a stent. That's gonna clean your liver. That's like what I gotta get in my heart for gagooch, but you get it for your asshole. But when you put that up your butt and then attach your shower.

No, you don't attach your shower, you just shoot water up it from the shower. I hope you lose it in your ass. Dude, that's like a power washer nozzle, dude. No, no, no, no, no. You're looking at the, you're seeing what it is wrong. It's just a tunnel it's creating. Yeah, of course.

It's opening up your asshole. But it's not, doesn't. But you would put the power washer in that end. Well, you just hold it up to the hole. It's gonna get in there and fucking. You don't need a flower pot, fucking washer. You have to put that part in your bum. Look how big that one is.

The end part is actually. That guy's fisting the thing. This is for prostate fisting. This is a different thing. I'm talking about cleaning my asshole. Right, which size would you start out with? The smallest? The biggest.

I'm actually surprised you've never done an enema or a colonic. I'm surprised at a lot of things you haven't done. I've almost brought that up to you on the road. Find a man that treats her good? Yeah. Whatever she believes that is. Packed up in love.

Packed up in love. She goes, I could find a rich old man. I go, you could find an old man. What's that on the top left? Is that shit art? What is that thing? Jay, the time I got an enema, you do an enema, did I tell you this?

In LA, you go and you do your own enema, where you sit in an enema bed, and you have to put- Not enema, you mean the colonic. Colonic, so you sit in the, it's a bed that you sit in. So you go in, they explain everything, and then you sit in the bed, and you lube your butt, and then you put this little straw, the tube, in your butt yourself.

Oh, I like that. But I put it in way too far. That's what I would do. And when I sat down, it ripped it out of the machine, and I didn't have to, so I had hit my buzzer, and I was like, I pulled it out of the machine. She goes, oh, you're not supposed to put it in that far. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I would've think of burying it, I'd be burying it. Bobby was like a turd fountain, he just had a shulkin' coming out of his ears. Ah! Ah! That's what I thought, he goes, I just turn the water on, I sit there and look at them, and then tears start coming in my eyes

She was looking at the thing just stuck in my ass I was like fuck you bitch Perfect song for six years summer Summer What a perfect song for 60 years summer Yes, we do yes here I want to get a Kalanick speaking a second here back to your back down a gear one everybody Downshift y'all from the woman of the year Christine 2016 Christine why don't you give us a little talk up on this clip? Well, she just got excited from 2016, Okay. Okay. Let's hear it. Good talk up started. There was no internet. So people had to say it to my face. There were very few people I had to clap back at. Because life was simpler than Michael is gone to talk is gone

princess gone Whitney's gone all the people I saw in White House is gone David Bowie is gone well that was a little but I'm still standing when I started which is like Hitler's gone Jesus Christ dad Jesus Christ, dead. Jesus Christ is gone. John Lennon.

Drip. She's such a... I think Abe Fagota is still alive. Abe Fagota is still alive. She's such a douche. Keep going, though. Is there more? She's like Abraham Lincoln.

That was the full clip. I have the full speech here, but it's 10 minutes long. Oh, no, I don't want to hear that. It wasn't that crazy. I mean, she's just rambling. She's a dumb-dumb. It's so funny that you're such in a bubble that crazy, I mean she's just like rambling. She's a dumb dumb. It's so funny that you're such in a bubble

that nobody told you not to. Just shut up. Yeah, really. Just shut up. Can't you enjoy your millions and all the shit you have? It's not enough, now you gotta fucking make us feel like shit and not like you? I'll tell you what else, Bobby.

What? You popped up with a good video today. Christina DeShomi. God damn it. It was so good. I like to fancy myself the guy who brings in the filth in the regular square world. Yeah. But Bobby found a good one today.

And it's just what? It's just Instagram? Buddy, it was on, I think it was Facebook. I know where it was. It was out there in my little mix. And I'm not on it, I'm not you. I don't go to those things. Mm-hmm.

This was just, you spotted this. I know, I would know about this because a thing comes out, which it may be will tomorrow after the show. On the nipslip.com it'll be like, so and so had an upskirt moment or whatever. This is just presented like it's the, look at this performance of this girl. I saw this on my ALGA, which is very clean.

What does that mean? ALGA. What is that? Algorithm. Oh, Algo-rhythm. Come on, bro. Six gear summer, dude. I'm trying to figure out where I'm at.

I'm trying to help you out, you know what I mean? Hashtag six gear summer. Six gear summer. So yeah, I actually couldn't, I can't see, I didn't have my glasses, and I'm watching this, I'm like, I think this is what I think it is. I had to send it to them, I'm like, am I seeing this right? I can't see, I didn't have my glasses, and I'm watching this, I'm like, I think this is what I think it is. I had to send it to them, I'm like, am I seeing this right?

I can't wait to see it. And then. I mean, this is, now, you know what? Turn on these microphones really high. Egan, when are you gonna come over here, like it's a pruder film, everybody? Why everybody, you gotta come to the screen for really doing, appreciate this

the way it needs to be appreciated. Everybody's going over. Sure, you jerk up everyone's power, right on the mics? Sure. Okay. Okay. Come on in. Christine, keep in mind there's people coming behind you. This is Marin Morris now.

Marin Morris. She's a lovely performer. Now, Christine, you can hit play here. Now you'll see, guys, what you're looking at is this slit right here when she's walking towards camera. Christine, go ahead. I'll let you know when it's time to stop again That's just pussy. Oh, that's her pussy. Oh, that's actual vagina. Oh, wow. That's vagina. I mean she gives you

That's not underwear. No, it's not. It's crazy. That's crazy It's on Instagram. It's a ton of pussy. I'll tell you if it's underwear. It's see-through underwear She might be wearing stockings, but you're seeing her pussy She's got a lot of stockings. I don't know the. I am like this Christine there might be some kind of stocking there But I will tell you this we're seeing her pussy. We think you go back up, please Sheer stockings is not she comes back around she does, but it's not as good the second time around this one's the one Which you really bad wow that's a pussy sandwich right that's box That's fucking that's a pussy That's a pussy sandwich right there. That's box.

That's fucking pussy. Damn, dude. That's box. God bless her. Good for her. Everybody, Marin Morris. Everybody. Look at that.

That's fresh. That's fresh country pussy right there. That's early in the concert. Pussy. Now, that's country right. I'm not familiar with Marin Morris' work, but I will tell you I really enjoyed her pussy well this is super popular is it yeah can you play with the call look

at my sniz this cause news through my slit it's called gash it up it's called walking back yeah she's not even we have your headphones on so you can't hear you know how many how many dads brought brought their daughters to this and were like, yeah you know what, anytime you want to go see Mary and more of us. Fucking bonus dude, could you imagine? If I went to a country music thing, I would expect... Can I say something? The only thing I would say is, alright I should probably go to a girl, there's gonna be a

girl sucking a guy off in a bathroom, I should be able to see a passed out girl's tit. Yeah, it's like a buffalo tailgate. And it's gonna be hot chicks. You see all these things things at Limp Bizkit You might see a decent amount of stuff, but you're common like Rob Zombie show if you see a girl passed out from heat exhaustion She's 703 pounds or makeup was smeared before she got there. I don't know. I don't know if you fucked me up and Now it's an optical illusion to me because now I'm seeing underwear. Someone's saying she has leopard print underwear on no no absolutely not Absolutely not is that the giant I wish I can make the screen bigger. I do love I do love this song I

Don't know but her pussy's great That she's a young hot girl, I don't think that's leopard skin anything. It was like bush. That's bush, right? Like very I think it's a nice neat bush Bush cuz if that was nylon you need to have long that would have to be some nylon You can't have a new nylon. You have to go down to your leg, right? I said no, it could be full on pantyhose. Yeah We're gonna just hear the thing and you're seeing so it's like her pussy's robbing a bank, like that kind of look.

Like it might be that, but I think that's just loose puss. Like her pussy's wearing a Bill Clinton mask. It's point-brain pussy. 100% pure pussy adrenaline. Yeah, man! Six-year summer! She goes, and my pussy says, I am not a croc. Six-yearER! YEAH!

Vaya con Dios, bruh Christine, can you play it again? This is where we're watching our fireworks SIX YEARS SUMMER! SIX YEARS SUMMER! I'm in the association You won't fuck with me in front of my son! I broke your monkey monkey world! This is my algorithm! I'm my son

This is my kayak I didn't pay you for fucking spiders and ants Big man Bob you fucking broke my goddamn rice car Why'd you bring your family? I used Safe Flight Repair, Safe Flight Replace one time in my life. They put the windshield on, looked beautiful. The car was a week old. I remember this. Got smashed to smithereens when I opened it for Steve-O

down in DC. Someone threw a drinking glass out of the window of the hotel. I was so happy the windows in the hotel open when I get there, because I go, ooh, I could smoke out the window if I don't want to go downstairs once or twice. Somebody else was happy they could smash a window.

And they were happy they could throw a full drinking glass out of the car and bash my window to smithereens. Had SafeLight come out right there, looked fantastic. They come out that day. Within an hour or so. They gave me. I gave them the model number.

Well, this was, I lucked out. It was also in D.C., it's very hour or so. Yeah. They gave me... I gave them the model number. Well, I lucked out. It's also in D.C. It's very metropolitan downtown D.C. And a lot of windows get smashed there. I'm sure. Yeah. So I'm like, are they putting it on? Did I go, wow.

It was expensive, but I'm like, what a solution though. When that first happened, I was like, I'm fucked. I don't have money for this. Brand new car. Brand new car, and it was fucking, we got the money back from insurance even, like gave us money back for it. And got on the highway after the weekend.

And, you know, middle of the night, an hour into the trip is when I just start hearing whizzing. What? Fucking wind coming through. Somewhere in there, just not a seal caught and it um now and it was never ever right again then whatever that seal break was one time when it rained like really bad this is the car that ended up getting taken by Hurricane Sandy it was non-stop like things happened it was the car was awesome

things happened to the car like awesome. Things happened to the car, like externally, always. That was the thing getting bashed. And then whatever that lack of seal was that made that little whistling noise that I eventually just got used to because you're like, turn the music up, who gives a shit. It's fixed. One time it rained really hard and filled my glove compartment box with water that went all over and got all over the car, but it had to be re-carped. That sucks. Doesn't that suck when you get a car and it's not meant to be time it was a week old it was the first time I got a brand new car right all

your little sneaky snacks oh yeah I went it was funny I said I was like I was like I want I was like I want this car this is the first car I've ever go oh I want this it was the Santa Fe right a Ford Explorer oh I love in 2012 Bose stereo I was like I want this car and was the Ford Explorer. Oh, I love the Ford Explorer. In 2012, Bose stereo. And I was like, I want this car. And we were like, we're able to get it. I had the Ford Edge. I was gonna go explore, but I went a little sporty with the Edge.

Sportier and less, better gas mileage. But, son of a bitch, I loved that car so much. And from the first weekend having it, it was just a nightmare. So ultimately Hurricane Sandy just literally drowned it. That ruins it right off, that's like when a puppy gets sprayed by a skunk, and you're just like, I don't want this dog anymore.

Like it just ruins it for you. Yeah, it's like a kid with a hair lip. Yeah, exactly. You're like, oh, this is what, we saved up for this. I'm not gonna like this kid till he can grow a mustache. And then he's gonna get one of those mustaches that grows like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuckin'. Yeah, real fuckin'. That Joaquin Phoenix face. Ah. Ah, you cuck sucker. My son the Joker? That's great. God damn.

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do, dude? I'm gonna have to get, I'm gonna get it fixed Friday morning. I'm gettin' it fixed up in New Hampshire. And I told, I didn't tell this, because the actual kayak didn't hit it the bird hit it Bobby the bird hit it Wait the bird hit the wind Bird gotcha gotcha the wind hey here summer right there those eyes God my fucking goats Yeah, the bird hit the fucking sabba. I saw it. It was a crane I got six gears up at a fucking blood the bird hit the fucking windshield. I like to fucking told me bird at the windshield

But let me tell you Bobby, but I tell you don't get it fixed in New Hampshire. Yeah learn from the story I just told you no no no no New Hampshire, dude Dude, does it matter buddy New Hampshire is the glass capital of America? There's no such thing that is true looking looking that up. It is the glass cap That's what they make most of the glass poor Mike wants to believe you No, I don't know you want to New Hampshire last capital of the country look it up. It's a hundred percent true Little, Ohio. Yeah, buddy, but it comes from most of the sand in New Hampshire. Okay. But then they go back. New Hampshire, no, Bobby, if it's fucking funky,

well I guess you go up there a lot, but if it's funky up there, you're- See, I'm thinking why do you wanna drive with the busted windshield? I got it because I couldn't get it fixed today. And I gotta go tonight. Oh, big call to know somebody? He broke it for you and told you he saved your money.

They sent all the guys at the cigar lounge know now because he took a video of me on the highway with the kayak sticking out and the windshield broken. windshield broken Jesus, and he sent it to everybody so now I've been getting fucking memes from all Tony Vinny Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what? This masculine yeah cigar suburb. I can't joke around gay Everyone's a guy look memes I can't joke around gay. Everyone's a guy look The Bobby they mean you belong to an

Influencers cigar group of not masculine. What's he putting Bible quotes on driftwood now to for you. Oh, they're man memes It's the finger. They're making me then no, they're not making them. They're using them The fact that they know how to use this is me. Yeah This is a this is a grandpa thing memes. They Darlene find me a meme to send to this game sweet I'll give me a meme Mike you know ya he is gonna be performing at Zany's downtown Chicago great club five shows August 1st through the third it's the summer of six years dude Sunday, fucking six gear summer dude. It's on.

August 1st through the 3rd, that's where Mike's going to be in Zany's downtown Chicago. For tickets and all tour dates, go to mikefinoya.com. Follow Mike on socials at Mike Finoya. Skankfest 2024 badges are available single day, Friday and Sunday. Never sleep on Sunday, I say. Go to our YouTube page go to our

Sunday lots of videos coming out now Awesome videos coming out on the social news about our podcast. We got some fun news We're paying out of pocket for our videos because we love you so much Dedication. Yeah so much dedication and Robert Kelly is gonna be living like life at a highway The music hall Portsmouth, New Hampshire July 20th the home of glass then the showcase lounge in South Burlington, Vermont the home of tires And then co-host New York where rubber was first invented break pad city San Diego

San Diego, California. Torque engines. Yes. And Minneapolis, Minnesota, home of Somalians. And Prince. You can see Bobby every Tuesday night, 7pm at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Seller for tickets and all other tour dates and all of his content. Go to PunchUp.Live slash Robert Kelly.

And Big Jay this weekend is going to be Friday and Saturday night at the Funny Bone in Richmond, Virginia. Dave Temple with me on that. Young Dill. Make sure you go check him out and of course the Bugada in Atlantic City. Bugada. I'll be there with you. July 27th.

Him and Mike are going to be there. It is the only show he's doing this year. So get tickets for that. It's the only one? BigJayComedy.com. If you want to see him go fucking Six gear some six gear summer story war is also starting up next Wednesday July 17th to stand New York City live show Me and Louis J. Gomez to fucking blast and three comics that will be a surprise

That's the stand NYC comm where you can get your tickets. I'll be right back, I think. Maybe not.