The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Skankfire Live from Skankfest South (feat. Luis J. Gomez)

Episode Date: November 12, 2021

Skankfire goes live from Skankfest South in Houston, Texas with Dan Soder, Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@LuisJGomez www.LuisOfSkanks.com 

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Bond Fire Faction Talk Series XM 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Okreson.

Yeah, if you missed out on Skankfest Houston first off shame on you There you second off. Why don't we just bring it right to you? Let's just bring it right to your stupid fucking face And I found I thought Skankfest Houston was perfect, but I have one note When recording the shows Mike the audience because we had a good show Did it sound like if we're bombing? I don't know. Well, we had a good show. Does it sound like we're bombing? I don't know. Well, we had a good show. We'll put in some canned laughter. That's it for you guys.

Do me a favor? Can you throw in some like Frazier Studio audience laughter? I mean, I'm talking about 97 Emmy Award winner. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Everybody, it couldn't have been a more fun experience.

We hope you're all there. Next gang, Fest. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Yeah, fire. Legion of fire is fucking real. Tank fire has such looks like the little face with the Yeah, that's it's fun, but Legion of fire is fucking fire is bad. Don't fuck with that. Yeah, dude, absolutely. Three-part guitar hero band. I called it shout out camper whoever recommended it, and I mean, I'll play bass. I call lead guitar.

Everybody, what a cool moment. It is the Skank Fire. From Skank Fest South. Yeah, what the fuck is up? It's the premiere of Firefingers. Everybody welcome to the fucking Skank Fire here. Skank Fest itself. It's a tradition at Skankfest. It was invented at Skankfest.

Yeah. And then this year, finally, Dave quit. Finally got all that donor money to run for president. I'm the Dave Smith of this show. I am the Dave Smith now. So get ready for me to say wild, uninformed, political things. Just like Dave Smith.

Yeah, I heard the vaccine causes a third nipple. I said it. Rogan's got the science to back me up. Dave came in for a- Hitler was a freedom fighter. Dave came in for one half day. Dude. He came in, you guys kissed his hand,

and he's like, go away now. You know, I love about it. It's his hand, and he's like, go away now. You know, you know what I love about it? It's like, he left like, it's this is partly his festival. Dude. Yes. This was built on his thin back. He technically put more effort into getting out of here than being here at all. It was more of a hassle for him to fly here doing show and leave.

It's seven hours of flying, yesterday a to just not be here with you guys Dave did an infinite an infinite amount of more work to leave the festival Than to do anything to do with this festival ever. Yeah, he made it more about him leaving Yes, he did being here. He's like I'm gonna really stress. I gotta catch a second flight today guys I'm meeting with my financial probe that I'm looking into. Oh, he got me, yesterday he goes, I had him fly me first class, so it's a lot of flying.

I'm like, oh, did they princess? Is that really? He's really, it's like, he's calling Christine, and he's been like, fly me first class. And she's like, all right, Dave. Yes, he'll have fucked down, Dave. No, no, what happened there was, he asked me, and then Christina Rebecca, we're like, well, I don. And she's like, all right, Dave. Yeah, settle the fuck down. No, no, what happened there was he asked me.

And then Christina Rebecca, we're like, well, I don't really know if you have money in the budget. And I was like, it's Dave fucking Smith on the phone. Are you kidding me? Get him a first class ticket. You're a good friend. I really am. You're a good and terrible friend to all in one move.

Yeah. Because now, did you get first class? I think I flew myself, but yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that Lewis fought for David, and if you were like, just get there yourself.

He's a fucking liar. He did not fly himself. He's a dumb, dumb fucking lying cock. That's an extreme reaction to have for something that maybe you're right. I don't know why you're calling me so many names. I called you technically three names. I called you dumb twice. Yeah, dumb, dumb line cock.

Man, we found that last night that this festival is just a bunch of pussy's apparently. Dude, how are you getting fucking smoked by Travis Scott? We have zero deaths, zero heart attacks. Guy had a fucking... This is how real-ass, this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this is how real- this how real- this is how real- this is If you guys can find this, if Travis Scott singing with his voice all modulated, you know how he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's hanging on this pole singing while they're pulling a fucking pass out person out of a crowd.

Please everybody to the party, child. Ladies are dying in the crowd. Be mindful of your days. You got to watch the herrington fight, hoping one of them dies, and voice modulate. Oh, my God. Apparently they, and not only did they, because I guess it was like a surge of a crowd where people got trampled.

Yeah. But also there was a guy walking around with a syringe and injecting people with drugs. And we just offered that guy free-skanker tickets. Yeah. That is, that's the fucking, that's the skankfest version of Shotgirls. Yeah, dude. This was, yeah. the Skankfest version of Shotgirls. Man, dude.

This was... It out in Mexico, they grab your head and point. You guys, you guys just put fentanyl in people. Yeah. What happened? Well, I got fentanyl coyote ugly deep into my mouth. Do we serve Narcan in here? No!

You ever drink bleach in a cowboy food? Yeah, dude, this is gonna get fucking weird. We're gonna turn Zach into the actual toxic Avenger. I think the only way we top this is if Harrington punched his Dylan so hard it kills him, and then Harrington has a heart attack from the effort it took. And then we gotta go to Dylan's Wigger funeral We got they got out of imposed his mom's got a pose he stuffed with some fucking loces on Yeah, so loop up his voice over

Yo, come to my funeral. It's lit. Ah Kerens're weeping. She's got a black nail on her. But it's a slutty outfit still. That is the weirdest couple in comedy right now, right? Karin and Dylan. Everybody, today we lay to rest. A guy we fucked

I love how Dylan also necessary from working the merch booth to warming up backstage for a fight. What a carnival lifestyle. Guys hold the t-shirt and sales. Poppins got a fight. Poppins got a fight of former fat ass. It's like Bruce Springsteen's own show. Yeah. Dylan's the best part of all is Dylan is doing the merch booth, right? So we have like an extra 200 year books. We have these amazing year books that are for sale as well. So as people are buying the merch booth, right? So we have like an extra 200 year books. We have these amazing yearbooks that are for sale as well.

So as people are buying the yearbooks, Dylan is, he takes out a marker, he signs his right way. The first person to sign their yearbook. And I've had five different people come up to me being like, dude, I don't know how to tell him not to fucking sign my yearbook. I wanted you to be the first person to sign my yearbook. That makes me so happy I put 100 down on Harrington,

against Ralph. Yeah, Dylan's picture in the yearbook, I showed Karene yesterday and I go, this is a picture one day, you're gonna look at and be like, fuck that asshole. Because it really is, he's like, this is not gonna be like, do you want to see a picture of him pop up, Dylan? This is where he thought he had black blood in him. Yep. Old Dylan's pictures look like, sorry, I fucked your niece. Yeah. I took her lip gloss after we fought.

Ah-ha-ha. Oh, hey girl, last night was great. I think I left in your sweatpants. Oh! Damn, dude. Is there a second night of Astro World or was that it? It was supposed to be today. Astro World was supposed to be today. No, the canceled Saturday of Astro World. They did.

But is there going to be a Sunday? I don't know. I don't know how to come back with it. They're going to regroup, but what are you doing? Petter Barrier, Saturday. Yeah, I mean, look, what do you, you know? What was the song? Was it Sikko mode?

Was it just Travis Scott playing? Who was playing when the people died? No, it's like a festival tour. I don't know. Who was the search happened during Travis Scott? Yeah, it was going him. The search, the search. It's no longer a shunny.

It's something to mount and do. No fun, learn and kill each other. Yeah, please get off her. He's like trying to remedy the situation. Guys, she can breathe. Where's your humanity? She's a person. Yeah, there's some space.

She can breathe. Yo, I almost saw this was crazy. Shane and I were hanging up in the birds nest. And when you saw a fucking guy yesterday. Yeah, the dude's out front security here almost took on a gang of eight dudes on bikes. Bicycles? Bicycles, not motorcycles. Not bikers.

No, no, not so much. Dude ate bikers. Yeah. Not bikers. I should have. Not bikers. They almost fought eight psych... Psych... No, but I want to amend that and say it was Cholo's on bikes.

Oh, low rides. Oh, they have like fat, terrible... Yeah. And they're like, do let us fucking go through these streets. And the guy's like, I can't. It's a silly boy festival. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, these festival. I'm like, I can't. It's a silly boy festival. I can't. It's a silly boy festival.

Oh, these jolos are like, I fucking live right there, bro! I don't care. These boys are wings. The jolos were rights. Yeah. Oh, I saw at least three different groups that were right to be pissed about.

This three-man judge had that. Oh, we had one woman yesterday, she was trying to leave. She's like, I just want to leave. I'm blocked in on both sides. We're like, you know, what are, she was trying to leave. She's like, I just want to leave. I'm blocked in on both sides. We're like, you know, what are you going to do? Guess what?

We got it. Doug Stan is getting his face painted. Sorry, bitch. Dude, but I want to say right now, your security is the opposite of you. Their conflict resolution was top notch. They had eight trellos on bicycles ready to fight them and they talked them down. I've never seen a trello get less upset and pick up his bike. You're making some good points man.

I don't really know if it's worth it for me to throw it away right now. When it comes down to it, right is right. Yeah. You know what? Two wrongs don't make a right. Right? Thank you for teaching me the way. Yeah. Oh, shit, dude.

Stand by me. Those guys, yeah. Those guys were like Michelle Fyfer and dangerous guys. What are your security guards turned to chair around? Hey, guys, what are we doing here? What is it? Dude, it was fucking wild, you know, that they left.

That's our big moment. It was eight of them now? Yeah, it was like, there was seven dudes in a chick that was ready to fight first. Oh, that's what I was saying. If anyone was on that corner and saw that, that girl dropped her bike first, like, what the fuck?

Like that. Well, that's the problem is, because as soon as she does it, then all the other seven guys are like, well, I guess we're fighting this racist comedy festival. God damn it. I can deal with the outlined lip. I can't deal with starting fights.

Yeah dude. The girl was ready to rock first. Which is always the problem. You always have that issue. I always see it like I've had times you've had girls like start shit with me when their guy is like looking at me like dude, it's like, come on, dude, I don't want to fucking fight. Yeah.

I don't want to. Who's saying, oh really, I fought you over your girl. You know. I know. That would be... The guy has to be like, I gotta say, don't talk to her like that, but I get what you are. Yeah. There you go.

This is... Shut up bitch, she goes. I know, right, but... I don't want you to... She's my chick, so I gotta hit you. I'm gonna hit you. Honestly, bro, where you're at right now is kind of a fan of the camp of mine.

I wish you would have started this while I was around the corner, but I'm here, I gotta stop it. I remember one time I was dating a chick and we got into a big argument at like a concert, like in like a... I almost said, I don't know, it was a matter of words, to a big argument at like a concert like in like a bill like it was like almost I don't know it was matters were on both like a Madison were garden And we like lost each other and both of our cell phones were dead and I mean she was just being a fucking crazy mess At a one point we found it's like a half an hour later and we were so mad at each other

She's like I got to a fight with a guy and he spit in my face and I was like good Yeah, someone had clear is he I want to shake that man's hand. I am happy he's been in your dumb fucking face. Fucking good. And this is something you know. You know I'm a secret psycho that I fucking snap. Secret psycho. Secret psycho, dude.

Secret psycho. Secret santa acceptance that it gives they give you fucking things. Except the time I had a catch on the salt charge. But it's a dead cat in the bag. Fucking look at it! Sigma psycho! I was in California with my girlfriend and we were in a fight in this guywalk by trying to be on my side.

Because the guy was fighting. That never happens. I didn't know that though. Like I rules. I was, hey, sir, do you need help? Is she being a little bit too much? I do. No, this is what happened.

We were fighting and it was like, it was building and building. And I was like, that's just fucking death. And she was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, and he walked by what, right? Like that? To me, I thought he was, I was like, what's up? And he's like, I was saying it right. He had to explain it.

And then I was like, oh, thanks man. Yeah. You pull him in, come over here, tell her. Yeah. Because I went up to, what the fuck did you say? He's like, no, no, I'll say it and you're right. I was like, do you one time me and Dave Smith There was a dude fighting with his chick. It was so fucking was like Brooklyn lady at like two o'clock in the morning and

This chick was a fucking psycho, right? And I guess she had his bag and she wouldn't give a back to him and he was like he was restraining himself from beating the shit out of this Shake but it was doing a lot of like grabbing her by the arm and like, it was a crazy toxic fight, right? Yeah. But like, me and Dave were stepping in, but it was almost like we were on his side, but we were still trying to like protect her. Yeah. We're like, dude, no, no, no,? He's like dude these two domestic angels came in and saved it

Sport or even in this fucking skinny, dude guy fucking talk me out when I get super angry Christine I just tell her I go I walk through out loud an imaginary fight I wish she had with a girl beating her up I was like I hope you go outside some chick beach to shit Elbows you and your stupid fucking face. Dude, you want your damn- You're playing it like a wrestling match? That's a quick record for the elbow.

You kick out. Then you're gonna take her to Suplex City. Okay. Lewis, you're stealing my style of crewneck sweatshirts. I have not stealing your style, Dan. First of all, you have no style. Check the records since 2019. I started wearing crew neck sweatshirts. Oh, I have not stealing your style, Dan. First of all, you have not found one. Check the records since 2019, I started wearing crew neck sweatshirts.

I gotta be honest with you, I love this look, this is my new look. I don't like mature Louis. It's a very Dan outfit though. You think it's a Dan outfit. I look like, I look fucking stylish and cool. You dress like a giant boy. You're wearing a nice sweatshirt.

You're wearing a nice sweatshirt. I'm a nice sweatshirt. No, this is a cool. Don't call it Nike sweatshirt. Cool. This is cool. It is cool. It is cool. It's cool. It's cool.

Thank you. It is cool. It's cool. This is a cool fun. Like, I know you guys are cool. You guys are target chic. Tarjay. I was born that way, bitch.

Jay, first of all, you should not be talking. You're style stinks. Okay. And I'm not even gonna bring it up, because I know, for some reason, every time you not be talking. Your style stinks, okay? And I'm not even gonna bring it up, because I know, for some reason, every time you bring up the J-style stinks, it shuts him down emotionally. It's fine.

I don't care. I'm just, stop fine. You can't say a athletic sneaker shirt is stylish. I swear to God, his eyes are getting glassy. It's stylish. I swear to God his eyes are getting classy. It's just like... I try to put forward... Oh, you know how to get my goose. I don't know what it is. You attack his style.

Second you do. No, I can't tell you guys to do this very Lewis thing. It's a very Lewis thing. I don't give a shit. People make fun of my outfit all the time. I don't mind what Lewis says. I'll just lose a smart, Lewis, a smart move. He'll start for the next five minutes if we let him.

I'll talk for the next hour and a half, you let me. Lewis does this move, which sucks. It's a good arguing tactic. I've got, everybody goes, he goes, yeah, Dan's outfit sucks. And you go, at whatever duty goes, oh, look at him. Oh, sad, sassy over here.

Where you gonna piss your pants, pissy pants? And you're like, that's fine. If you don't like the shirt, you don't like the shirt, he goes, oh, look at him again. Why don't you fucking grow a. If you don't like the shirt gonna do about. Leave me alone. That's when the table flipped. He goes, what caused the surge at Skankfest? The fuck was that?

She was upset. That was that. She was upset. What did you guys, you guys formed a coup earlier? Yeah, we were in the lobby of the hotel and I go, you go after a star, hot dog, man. Jay's stupid outfit. No, I wanted to get, I wanted to, I was getting it

to the rotation work. Did Shane pay you guys to bully me today? I'll give him a salute from the side stage. He's like the, he's like the black janitor and Rudy. He's like the black janitor and Rudy. He's like the black janitor and Rudy. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. But see that it comes back and that it's a solid rotation.

Are you going to hand it? Oh, we're not. I'm not supposed to be having this much fun. How is it legal to have this much fun? Man, we are so crazy. Oh, wow, the political opinions opinions Down syndrome is caused by the vaccine Oh, yeah, one guys like dude. Let's turn the lights down lower I'm ready to enjoy everything

Hey, man everything's cool Can I follow that up with an oops? Hey man, everything's cool. You're just here. You're just here. You're just here. Hey man, everything's cool. Can I follow that up with an oops? Fire marshal. I'm going here. Just here. Guys, be cool.

There's parents in the room. Stop dog whistling the fire marshal. Yeah. Guys, it's walking out right now. If you're at home live streaming this, help. If we all keep it cool, everyone knows Fire Marshall's go off movement. Fire Marshall's seeing like predator. Just standing.

I'm just fucking standing there cutting my chest for the night. It says even though like something got into the day. It really gets things like jug-a-lo. Hey, give me a Lewis, give me it. I can put it out. I gotta think. There we go. What do you have? A forehead? Ssps. That'd be sick. Dude.

That'd be a good bar trick. Like an 80s villain? It's like, yeah. We'll find out if she bleeds. Sssh. I think it's more of some more casual. It's like, Dan, you're on in five. You go, oh.

Sssh. Or a fun way to meet a volunteer. We're like, oh cool. You flew here from Cincinnati. Damn, your face would make a hilarious asshore. Please someone make it. Yeah, please someone make a dan soder face asshore. I'm a very flat face, so it's already easy.

I love it. Whatever, what else happened to the Travis Scott Festival? I feel like there's more to this show. I was like, what's the biggest happened to the Travis Scott Festival? I feel like there's more to this show. I, people died, Lewis. What's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest,

what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest,

what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, what's the biggest, you know, like their fans are dancing on it because they think it's part of the show.

So there's a clip of an ambulance and then just someone like fucking goofy white teenager going like crazy that even an astro world, an idealistic, futuristic utopia. Nothing with rap fans still kill each other. Wow. In a fantasy world filled with lean and big butts. What other acts were on the festival? I don't even know anything about it. I didn't know it was another festival. The man said it was on that festival, one point.

Was he? Yeah. Oh, they kicked him off because he rapes. Ironic, right? That's literally one of the, one of the, uh the three records that's again on skank fest is that you are a rapist I'm gonna see as you put cases on everyone on the Everyone on skank fest has raped Houston PDs is waiting outside and they're like hey, we'd like to talk to you about some stuff Okay, you ready who's there? Yeah, master P. Yes. Shana Nana. Fuck yes.

I'll say that a thousand times. Suck my dick. I want to know if we can get one. I'm a no limit soldier. Can we get some of them in there? I'm a no limit. Did I have a friend that stuck with no limit way too long? Shout out Joey, dude.

He fucking, dude. He loved him in an uneironic way. I don't know. I don't know. Dude, the glasses? No, we just fired too many pills. It was funny. I hear somebody love these kind of festivals

when they just throw a wild one in. It's Travis Scott, Sizzah, Chief Keith Bad Bunny, Young Thug in YSL, Master P, Taiman Pala. That's the weird one, right? No.

Earth, Wind, and fire. That's the weird one, right? No. Earth, wind, and fire. Actually. I shoot a bitch, and we break this bitch off and blow up back out and rip up on them titties. Everybody, Earth, wind, and fire. Do you remember? Ah. One is to keep.

No, Femba. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did that be great if that's when the trampoline happened? Yeah. Earth, wind, be great if that's when the trampoline happened. Yeah. Earthwood and fires here! AAAAA! Guys, calm down. They'll get to all of it.

They'll get to all the hits. I want to see a fucking circle pit. After the love is gone. How can you leave me home? Something about their musical notes strikes people on fucking cough syrup. It's like a man cheery and candidate effect. Pearls swaying in unison. And then it's people, I don't know, then it sounds like.

That's it. Yeah, posters on my daughter's wall. Lil baby. Lil is shit Gomez. Lil is shit Gomez. T-Zo. Dude, that would be awesome if you popped over to the set at Astro World? No, I was saying I wasn't supposed to run as Donors' wall.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe no one else thought exactly about it. I'm dumb. Well, you do have an Astro for a forehead, so. Don't forget, you can pick up your dance order, Astro. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah, no this or fight Well, I mean look it is we are only one day in

Man, well, somebody will die as gang fest eventually and I'm not we're not gonna publicize it We're gonna all collectively hide the body. Oh my god Then that fucking that Netflix documentary 20 years from now Yeah, we found a tiger and fed the body to a tiger and Then just it is put a fake post on their social media hashtag van life And then another victim a crazy van living And the documentary will be like Dave Smith declined to comment on this. Senator Dave Smith said we could blame it all on Dave.

He was supposed to be the festival all weekend. He said he really did come in like he tried to create an alibi for himself. Well I couldn't have killed my assistant. I was enthused. He kept saying the wrong on his podcast. He just kept saying different days. He was so good to be here on a Sunday. Keep it going for the 7th of November.

Between 8 and 11.30 p.m. I'm going to be here parting with you guys for the next 72 straight fucking hours. You can check the cell phone towers. Anybody got today's paper! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is Mike Haring. Yeah. Governor, I'd like you to meet Jimmy Martinez. He's like, yo, you crazy? You really as fuck, man? Yo, wrestle me, son.

If I win, I'm the governor. Yo, let me be you. Yo, son, let me be your lieutenant governor. Just pull him up. I got some real prison reform ideas. Let him out. Jimmy, if he just got into the right social circles, could bully himself into some sort of high office?

He absolutely should just go far left. Bullying all of them. Yo, your word speak is bothering me right now, son. Watch your pronouns. I am we us. They and us are gonna go outside and talk. Do you remember? I'm crazy. I'm turning. I'm turning. I'm turning. I'm turning. I'm turning. You're just fucking, that's wrong. In the middle of fucking Astro. So Earth, when in fire was in the house somewhere.

This guy's fucking, oh man. This old black dude's going, oh man, that's terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember, is the fire marshal gun? I don't know. I think he was just sitting in the back all day.

Yes, he's there still. Thumbs up. Yeah. Oh, hey, no, we're done. Hey, we're just hanging out. Hey, we're just saying a fire marshal. What's going on? We extinguished that like heroes.

Yeah, to do. There was a fire in here. I didn't see you springing to action. Yeah, Marshall. Hey, Jay a fire in here. I didn't see you springing to action, Marshall. Yeah. Hey, Jay, I think he's volunteer. Yeah. We were just testing you to see if you would come and put it out and you fucking didn't.

So I'm going to have to give you a wound. That's a survey. His head counten still, he's like, fuck. What? God damn it. He's got a clinger. What? I don't know. I don't know.

Also everyone looks alike so he just knows he goes to that count. This guy five times. God. Yeah. The fights. I'm so excited for the fights today. The what's the what are you doing today? So today I'm gonna be out there as well. There's two LSM any events when is the when is number one? When is the musical chairs boxing? That's tomorrow. That's tomorrow. What's on that? It's a three three PM All right, and then today I have that poster of every day is even funnier But to that poster of the fights all the fights you think a schmitz. Yeah, the shfights all the dudes are so jack and then there's you It's fucking crazy

It's crazy. I like there's your new best friend dude It's crazy. There's your new best friend, dude. Oh, dude, Lewis gets so fucking pissed when you say shit. Like that. Oh, damn. Oh, shit. Oh, damn. What a fucking queen, dude.

Look, he's fucking sweating so much. You're so mad. You're so mad that physique is so good. Damn, dude, why you all quiet now? Why you so mad? Why're so mad that physique is so good. Damn dude, why you all quiet now? Why you so mad? Why you so mad that none of their bodies can quit? Oh man, you look like a mess and everyone thinks shit. Oh.

Dude, Jay is sort of showing his ass right now though. He's still. You can't switch it back. Living in that moment. This is from what I would say one light bump up against what he's still living in that moment. He's thinking of a shirt. I would say one light bump up against what he's wearing. Dahlke, today's going to be even funnier because today we're doing a pinata match.

So I'm dressing up as a pinata. It's like a pinata suit with candy and everything. And a bunch of fans are going to try to attack me while Jason Alice and Alan Joban and Eddie Jackson try to protect me. How do the... Do we have wings? I mean, I did not know you were going

fucking word of the f**k eyes on Saturday. Uh-huh. We are all to honor. The page has begun. Oh, you guys, come get a f**ker piece of me. The purge has began. Oh you guys, come get a fucking piece of me. I'm a real ass pinata. Fuck it. Kill everyone.

For the next 10 minutes, Oh, the crime is legal. Dude, I can't wait for that fucking scene where Ellis is overwhelmed. So I can't do anything more like this. The break in the fucking barrier. Oh. Ugh. I've given all these guys CPDs, so they're relaxed zombies.

I can punch, too. Apparently, I'm allowed to punch them as well. So, does everyone have gloves on? Everyone has gloves. And I think they're trying to punch my piñata suit off me. Dude, if you get like a ruptured kidney. Do you have anything to do with fucking InstaStory from the hospital? He's like, what's up doggues?

Turns out my spleen took a fucking laceration. Eight people died as your world. One person dies at Skankfest, the organizer of the festival. I'll tell you what, I really, when Candy comes out, this would always went through my head at once. I'm like, oh, when Candy comes out, wouldn't it be funny if I did the run-up

and like slide underneath the rope into the ring and start grabbing Candy? And I'm like, what's gonna happen is, this part of my stomach's gonna hit their thing, and then I'm just gonna get chin and nose burn. And never make it to candy. No, you're gonna do that thing like when they get caught in the ropes and pro wrestling like you're a foot through.

No, just walking out the candy. And then you have to yell out, my precious gems. My precious gems. Guys, unrelated real quick, somebody in production, earth, wind real quick, somebody in production, Earth, Wind, and Fire is in town, and they got nothing to do. You see if they want to swing through. And that would be awesome.

That is a good point. At that point. This crowd, they would be blown away. The way this crowd looks and everybody would be out there, lay. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do that be the thing with it, be like after the show, they'd be like,

I think we really made a difference. I think we. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, White teenager researches. Guys, you might wanna see this. You're kids on the iTunes chart. Are you guys ever heard of Earth when in fire? Fuck it. Sorry guys, I'm getting distracted by the Lewis Hessex with young boys t-shirt. Yeah. Shout out Ari Shaffir.

Yeah. I go up to the merch booth and they're selling it at my merch booth. I shit you not, there's not a single comedian selling merch already like that put it up there We're gonna sell it. Yeah, I When I moved this past summer I had like all this you know I like piles of clothes that I was gonna donate to goodwill and I had the pedophile shirt from the old skank fest And I was like perfect put it in my fucking

Podcast shirt pile and then I was looking and I accidentally donated it. Oh, so there's just gonna be a homeless guy in Queens with a Lewis picture that says pedophile. He's like, fuck, I don't know man, fits. I used to, when I had a bunch of extra shit, sometimes I would just put it outside in New York for the homeless, and then it is funny when I'd be sitting,

smoking on my stoop and you see a guy,'m like, look at that, dude a fucking Legionist Kanks fan. Oh look at that he's checking through my garbage cans for stuff. Oh look at that he's eating something. Oh, that's a shirt left out. Oh you just pass that he's shitting all over the guys. You're going over him. Oh you know what? That's an I'm just an SDR fan. Yeah. Oh, my mistake. Oh, dude, people with home is barely listening to that show. Yeah. Yeah. Can I get a little bit of makers on the rocks, please?

Damn. Dude, you're going to be tuned up. You know it's fun to spend. I'm getting drunk before this fight, too. Sure. That'll fuck, don't you? Skankfest is fun, because for those of you that don't drink, you'll watch around 11.30, that's when all the drugs

and booze kick in, and everyone at Skankfest goes from being like, what's up to me? Like, who are you? It's the fire marshal you're not a cop, right? Yeah. Yeah, be cool about this. You guys only put out flames, you don't fucking snitch, right? Yeah.

As long as we only snort it and don't smoke it, right? Yeah, you're at 11 o'clock, can't take it. It turns into a zombie town. I just looked at everyone's eyes, didn't it? It's like, the two days I've been here already. You see comics that you saw an hour later, just walk up, you're like, that's your night. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Fine, hi. That's it. I tried to ha ha ha. Fine, hi, that's it. And I tried to have a conversation with Shane last night, and it was not that it was serious, but it was just not like a ball-busting. It was an actual conversation. And then I just looked over to one point, and he was really doing like,

yeah. I can't tell you the joy it is having a conversation with Sincere on Drug Shane. Exactly what it was. He's like, dude, it's not okay. Can't tell you the joy it is having a conversation with sincere on drug chain Exactly what it was like dude. It's not all gay Dude dude goes I said that's not retarded I know I say to lot guys, but uh Gays pretty cool Okay guys, you're pretty cool stuff This fucking so much fun dude the fact that you got it down here to Houston and everyone that showed up Gaze pretty cool. Okay guys, you're pretty cool stuff. This is fucking so much fun dude.

The fact that you got it down here to Houston and everyone that showed up, it's been fucking awesome. It's surreal. It's like easy to bust Lewis's balls, but him and Christine and Rebecca did a fucking awesome job. You guys have been legitimately like, it's fun because I would say Skank fans bad reputation online awesome reputation in person Great. It was funny. It's like there's in this room right now There's a hundred people who have called you a faggot. I'm Twitter. I would say there's a good seven in the room right now That I might have blocked and I don't block anybody. Oh Buddy, you're my dancer

Can I read you something. I took a picture of this because it made me laugh so much. So the other day, me, Dan and Dan's lovely girlfriend, Katie, fucking, we talked about the, there's a documentary called Four Hours to Capital about the insurrection. And we were just laughing at the ridiculous people. Not the other documentary, inches, the capital. The original.

The Sagalos erection governor. Sorry, I can't get the words out, but you know what I was going for. But it's basically the bonfire. It's us sitting there laughing at this guy's wearing a Viking helmet and the guy wanted to smoke weed and the rotunda. It's just like. Guy rolled. Dildos.

But we were just laughing at all of it. This guy wrote, way to ruin the bonfire with your dog brain political knowledge. Did you get this too? Yeah. You got it same guy? I think so. He goes, you openly admit to not caring about politics.

You're a comedian, stick to comedy and dance clown. Hell yeah. If you had Dave Smith on that episode, he would have shut both of you the fuck. Oh, I'm gonna do it. Imagine what Robbie Bernstein would have done to your chump ass. He goes, oh, the insurrection.

But he gets the thing where they put like every other letter is either capital or lowercase to show that you're a dumb idiot online. I hate when they quote me and do the fucking different. Oh, that would be dope. It's too dark like that. Look at the fucking different, oh. That would be the best. Oh, it's dead. This is too dark like that. Look at the fucking race. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's actually a violent jazzy. He goes, not even this specifically, but in the past couple of years, you've really become a faggot. That guy's the funniest fan we'll ever have. It's got rules. It's got a fucking Jesus.

What a whole, I didn't get that. What a home run. He goes, that guy got up, that guy typed it like the end of a dookie house or episode. Sincerely yours, dooks. I've been a fan for like seven years, and you used to be funny. Wow. Not so much anymore, I'm talking sad.

It is sad. Man, what if he hit your style at the end? Oh, did he? And your sweatshirts are stupid. All right, dude, look, I know I dressed. It doesn't bother me that he says that. Oh, you fucking keep bringing it up. But it's like, what does this guy dress like?

It's so great. Dude, as a wrestling fan, you know, everyone, it's gay. And I know that. Buddy, you are at home base for wrestling fans, right- Yeah, but everyone agree, it's the same. Like, I look at you as someone that doesn't care about politics, I look at you like a wrestling fan where I'm like, it's okay, why do you care about that? So I understand when people are like,

how could you not know what it's like? I don't know, I fucking don't care. I'm so not giving a shit about politics if somebody was like, that in some, someone gives me two sentence, good explanation of why the insurrection was necessary. I'm like, should have fucking killed them. I'm not being like, I'm with you guys.

I said with documentaries, I'm the best mark for the, when I watch Fahrenheit 9-11, as the example I was used, I was like, this bush is a monster. And then another documentary came out called Fahrenheit 9-11. And when that was over, immediately I go, guys, you're just trying to do his job, man. is a monster. And then another documentary came out called Farron Hype 9-11. And when that was over, immediately I go,

guys, you're just trying to do his job, man. You know what always takes me on a documentary is this shitty production value? Do you guys remember loose change about 9-11 being an inside job? Well, fuck me up was always the voiceover because the kid had such a bitchy voice. It's Dylan Voice.

Yeah, he's like, yo, this looks sad, right? But he's like, 9-11, do I see that? Oh, see him, look at that dude, jumping upside down and shit. Ha-ha! Yo, that building's fire! And what, yo, at what temperature does metal really burn?

Oh, shit. Sikomode, that's what I know. Yo, it was control television. Ha-ha-ha! Yo, it was control television. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why did Peter conscious have like a hole in it, but there was nothing on the ground, yo? Yo, what was that shit like a door? Everyone knows the bush family been in bed with the bin lives forever You dude open up the ledges and shit let us see what's up. Yeah. Yo, declassify that shit suck. Look at this page, redacted.

Ha ha ha. Page 13, redacted. Oh shit. Oh ha ha ha ha ha. You don't think that government can pull that off, but ya. Redacted. Ah, your with gonna tune up, Harrington. I'm gonna lose 100 bucks. I'm trying to set up an illegal gambling thing for the fight.

I don't know how to set up. I'll take side bets all fucking dated. Harrington, you lose this. I will fucking dog lock you. You can get beat up twice. I think people want how into it. I don't know if anything Clap if you want her into it. Yeah Harrington's the Rocky He's the fucking job or who's just getting in there. It doesn't look like he should win

No one's heard anything about him being good at fighting. Yeah, all Harrington's Rocky and Dylan's Ivan Faggot. I'm a suck you. Yeah. It's fucking dead. Oh my God. And I know if Dylan wins, he's going gonna toss that fucking head gear off and be like, that's what I'm fucking and then I'm gonna fucking come over to the top rope.

Harrington. I'm fucking sliding with a chair, dude. Harrington is stocky and doing his clubber dang. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. And a fire marshal leave you. No.

I hope not because I'll tell you what, I'm stoned enough that that little stocky and clubber dang joke, I remembered and forgot six times in a one minute. If you go back to the tape, I went, it's like, hang on. And I go, there it is, stocky and clubber dang. It's like, damn, going again. What in one of your out there? You would already move down, I was like, damn, going again. What in one of your out there?

You would already move down, I was like, back to the naming the last thing. Don't get too far away. Don't get too far away. Let's sit down from me with this one. Justin and Dylan were training in my room this morning. Yeah, what is that? What is that?

I'm sure. You mean they were kicking it with their shirts off? He goes, Justin's like, all right, training in my room this morning. Yeah, what is that? What is happening? Sure. You mean they were kicking it with their shirts off? He goes, just like, all right, now here's what's called a kiss combination. One, two. That's not me. If you wanted to have a box, you're going to have to have to have a kiss a man. Yeah. I heard the people next to me fucking this morning. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Who was fucking at the Hilton this morning? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Who was fucking at the hilt in this morning? It was pretty lackluster. I don't know. I told Katie I just hear it. But it was lackluster. I just told Katie it sounded like grunt and bumping.

It was just like you just heard like boom, boom, boom, boom. You heard it like, that's more fun. It wasn't fun sex noises. It wasn't like, fuck yeah. It was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Amir. You some long island. You're like, yeah, I hooked up with this girl in the next morning, he's like, yeah, you mown loud when you fuck. Completely took the wind out of my sales. Also, you have a hilarious voice to listen to mown.

Ooh, yeah. Oh, you're fucking. Ooh, what's the craziest thing a chick's said and been like yelled at. My feet, my feet. Get off me. Yeah. Please help, please help me. Just finish at my my get off me. Please help. Please help me. Just finish quick and don't hurt me.

I have a family. Do you have a family? I think about this was happening the year. I might have my eyes high. And then her eyes just sort of went blank. Dude, DeRose has got my favorite story that ever where he was fucking a girl.

Dude, her... Yeah, ow. How are your shoulders so... Did he tell you this ever? He goes, he was fucking a scroll. When she was gonna come, she was going, Joe, Joe, Joe. And then when she was coming, she goes,

Joe DeRose roses fucking me. Yeah, that is a boner crush. You are doing it. Yeah, sex you all in, of course. I have no respect for myself. This is my rock bottom. I really need help. This is a crime, bro.

Every time I talk to a chick that's fucked in Rosa, I'm like, really? You feel for a shit, too? Goddamn it. You're just mad that it didn't fall for years, shit, so. No, they also fell for my shit. We're in bed. I have fucking like eight chicks that DeRosa's fucked.

That's why, dude. That Vendiogram is fucking almost a circle. DeRosa, DeRosa ran through young comedians. DeRosa fucking gets them on the lot like the first salesman. You guys show up and he's like, how you doing? You want to do some comedy? Fucking derosas. Fucking derosas shows up at 7 a.m.

Every morning for the work piece of shit. There's a couple coffees like I'd like to talk to you in a minute. Here's what the Rose is going to all that young comedian ass at 5 in the morning and everyone's leaving. He's a guy who goes, I got a little more Coke. Oh fucking 15 mile man Rose. morning and everyone's leaving, he's a guy who goes, I got a little more Coke. Ha ha. Old fucking 15 mile man's girls love Coke,

but when you do Coke, it's difficult to fuck girls. Wow. That should be, that's a fucking deep one, dude. What did you say? What did you say? Another Lewis Jericho. That's not it. Sometimes you want to do Coke to fuck girls,

but then Coke doesn't let you fuck you. Deep thoughts by the rattlesake. Sometimes you're a winner of the score. Is it definitely rape if she was asleep? I mean, she didn't say no, or yes. If she doesn't push back. Was that a no? If you buy if you buy her dinner technically she has to fuck you. Another Louis Jacob. Remember we all thought you can get AIDS from a woman. Yeah. Damn, bro.

Remember we all thought you can get AIDS from a woman? Shit. Shit. Fuck, dude. How drunk are you to get for this fight, Lewis? Not that drunk. That drunk. Just drink it a little whiskey.

All right. You're fine. Just a little whiskey. Just a little whiskey. Just a little whiskey. Just a little whiskey. Just a little whiskey. All right. You're fine. Oh, whiskey. Just a little whiskey. Just a local anesthesia. Yeah, a peinyata would probably drink tequila. All right. I'm not trying to get him to mix his booze, because then we're going to get a sideways Lewis by 6 p.m. He's going to be like, fuck, at Hunter S. Thompson

walking through this place. Got talk to my friends here for a second. And tell you that I'm worried about something. I just did it for maybe the third time today. I don't know if anyone's noticing, but I'm doing it in comedy a lot and I'm calling it out because I hate it. I'm naturally after punchline. I think I'm getting old.

After punchlines, I'm doing this a lot. I fucking hate it. But I don't stop doing it. Yeah, I say all the things I go, right? Yeah. Am I right? Am the things I go, right? Yeah. Am I right? Am I right? Am I right?

See, this is why you're such a great comedian because you know, is this tequila? Fight out. Is that a thing? Dude, that would have been great. Nine years, fuck off. I'll be a fucking problem in this place. Is this immediately?

Oh, damn. I'll turn it to the goddamn ground. Damn, we'll be getting this dick sucked while you got a tattoo. I'm Oh, damn. I'm burning to the goddamn ground. Damn, because it's dick sucked while you got a tattoo. I'm like, yeah. Just a fucking, just a chest piece of shame going up there. Yeah. Shame with Angel Wings.

Shame-wings. Put his hands together. Shame-jong. Shame-jong-wing. Shame-jong. But I, yeah, you got to catch yourself doing that stuff Yeah, you can't have too many yes men around what You didn't if you weren't on skanks and you just had to gas digital employees you'd be doing a lot of shit

like sincerely that would just be fucking what he made aggravating Like you don't have my new closing bit where I fire a t-shirt cannon You know what I mean? That sounds awesome. That sounds actually so. You might have a t-shirt cannon and I would just fire it plank plank into females faces. Buddy, you'd kill them like Ned Flaner's wife. It's not even a sketchy idea. I just want to see a guy, one of those t-shirt cannon guys

lose it one time because it's so fun when they're aiming it like this and everyone cheering and then just front road. And just changes facial expression. You guys ready? You guys ready to fucking do what? I bet from five feet that think fucking lays in. Dude, I want a guy that's suicidal with a t-shirt gun.

He's like, yeah! I'm sorry, Rebecca. I'm sorry, Rebecca. Tell the kids I love you. This wasn't because of you. Oh cool. Oh, a size media. Oh yeah. Because of you. Cool. Oh, a size media. Baa-ya.

Oh, yeah. Is a t-shirt can't be dangerous. Is it fucking close range? Yeah. Is it to be know that though? I don't know that at all. I don't know that. Because sometimes that thing fires into the deep top level

of a stadium. Yeah. So I have to assume, I think the only way to find this out is to get a t-shirt gun and fucking take shots to the chest. I mean, that's you, sir. Come here. Tyler? Is that Tyler?

Tyler. Tyler. Hi, Tyler. What's going on, Tyler? Your Ioskanks army. Your sole job today. I don't care what they told you. I'm the fucking guy. Okay. I'm the guy. Tyler,, sorry. You're a sole job today. I don't care what they told you. I'm the fucking guy, okay.

I'm the guy. Tyler, we can talk about this now. No, no, we're not. It's nothing after. No, Tyler, he's right, but run a bike, Christina. No, don't run anything by this. Just see you in a Vecate, Christina. Now say nothing to them.

Right now, I need you to go get us a fucking T-shirt done. We need tonight for Steel Panther, I'm gonna be on stage firing fucking skank fest here. And then we will have the inevitable first death of Skank fest when Lewis fires it into a guy's chest and his heart stops working. Sorry, no, Tyler, you have to go find, I guess, a large concert supply store. Can I tell you why you're throwing a lot of Tyler right now? I guess a large concert supply store. Can I tell you why you're throwing a lot of Tyler right now?

Because he's a big fan of Skanks and Bonfire. He's a good guy, found out he took his first flight ever to come here. And now, and now I'd like to let you know the Toyota Center where the Houston Rockets play is only a few blocks away. If you could somehow ocean 13-year-wave through the ventilation system, I bet, but if you could come. If you could somehow ocean 13-year-wave through the ventilation system,

I bet, but if you can come back with that one, they put in the middle that fires like the fucking, the Tommy gun. You guys lose? I got a solution in a problem. Got the Gatlin gun and fucking, two-year gun. I promise you, and I'll say this all loses behalf,

and I think this is fair. 35% off gas digital subscription, if you may call that happen. 35% off gas digital subscription, if you make all that happen. 35% off. And have Bryce Merch for one year. Tyler, you are a king amongst men if you can get us a t-shirt gun today. This is the one job you have, dude.

You can do it. You can do it. I know you can do it, dude. So go. Tyler. Tyler. Tyler go Tyler Tyler Tyler Tyler Manchinit And Rebecca it's a little long manchinit to Christy and What's best is when he shows up tonight at like seven with it loses like yeah, we don't even do that anymore

He goes oh yeah, dude that was morning shit. Yeah, oh No dude sky fire was over like right after that. we don't even do that anymore. This. He goes, oh yeah, dude, that was morning shit. Yeah. Oh no, dude, this kind of fire was over, like right after that. You didn't even do that. It's got the Houston rocket fuel wires. Are you fucking shitting me, dude? Are you shitting me?

He goes, also got the mascot head. Are you shitting me? Oh my god, I bought bulk cutters in an A-shardware. He goes also the gate got me on the side. He goes, is that a look at the antenna shot? I feel like I was desperate to walk it back. He goes, they triangulate in my area, but I don't think they know exactly. You know what they probably looked around us.

You know what? I'm gonna go, take the gun, put it away, and slam it. It's all under one building. I didn't know where I am. You know what, the bonfire's pretty good. Woo! Took seven years, baby. These guys. Seven years, the fucking walk them down. You know what the bonfire is pretty good Took seven years baby these guys seven years the fucking walk them down these guys they can fucking stretch out a bit I'll tell you right now. Yeah, you don't do eight hours because we Fire marshal sir

I want to support his child dude. Can somebody put a pillowcase around the fire marshal's head? Guys, go give a fucking minute of the pillow here. Yeah, go give a minute of your phone as like a kid at a concert. Oh, let's make that our first touch. Just right now, some psycho just hose them down with lighter fluid instead of one phone. You're like, ah!

Turn them into actual fire marshal bill. Yeah, yeah. Burning man him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He runs through the crowd. Were you guys at the burn? You know what's funny is they all when they set someone on fire in Movies, I don't know if this is just real life, too, but they always walk this way That was because in movies they're wearing like a crazy

No, I'm real life you'd be rolling freaking out and doing yes Stop talking roll idiot. You got when you're dressed like this thing This is how I would walk on fire every fucking guy on fire in the movies like Dude how many people the first time they try on the fire suit like while they're in fucking like daredevil school Yeah, they freak out Probably did you see did you watch the Friday the third and that's a fun night my non-street movies that made us Yes, by the way, I was funny. I just watched my mind on street one with my check and the scene where they light him on fire He's wearing the shittiest suit the shittiest mask, but they talk about the stunt man in that They were giving so much kudos because he was only any bars. He was it. Yeah, kudos candy bars

I loved kudos dude. I just Cudos candy bars. I loved Cudos dude. I just were all man. They give me five grand Fucking love now fuck that bring it back to me like the stunt man was so over He was just supposed to go like walk from like one area to the bottom of the steps But then he kept going up the steps and the steps were catching off enemies like hose him down He was just like almost dead. He's like Like this is too committed. Do we get the shot? I don't even remember they sent him on fire again in part one. Yeah.

That guy almost died for it. It was so, it was almost so pointless. The special effects were so bad back then. Like, it was like, he watched it, like, yeah, it's a fucking suit. He's twice the size of Freddie. He's fucking, he's more than a mask. It's terrible.

Dude, did you ever see the, you know, the scene where people died in the Twilight Zone movie Like a helicopter chopped two children in a man and a half like really happened. It really happened real life The scene I think is still in the movie ish Not the scene of them getting killed but like the jungle nomsine and It's just so funny because it's just such an unremable you know I mean like you died for an unremable death.

If someone died on like the, you know I'm the king of the world and he fell off the front. You're like what an iconic scene. Yeah. Like a scene that means nothing. You go, when did he, when did he die? Is like when everyone was getting on the Titanic? Yeah, yeah. The Embarkment.

So you have two car accident on the way to the Titanic. Didn't even, we weren't even filming. You died on the way to the SES. Like people that, we weren't even filming. You died on the way to the S. Like people that died on 9-11 of natural causes. Oh, dude. So true. Dude, that's so what an amendment to a situation. A lot of my father on 9-11.

There's a, so sorry. There's a Howard Stern call. There's a Howard Stern call, her name Bobo, whose brother. Wait, the same one from an opian in? No, no, no, he wears a different retort. He wears it. Yeah. He wears a retort name. Bobo's calling a deradiant shows as like fucking bugs to his

apper. There's like, I got to call it. My name's Bobo and I got to call something. I got to. He says that he wears like a remember like 9-11, like lost his brother. Yeah. In 9-11. Check it.

And what's turns out he died on 9-11 like lost his brother in 9-11. Check it. And what's turns out, he died on 9-12. And also when they're like, what? How do you die in the towers on 9-12? He's like, nah, I think he had a hot attack because he was freaked out about it. So he considers that a 9-11 death. I can see it. I can see it.

I can see a walker there. All right, frivolous lawsuit. What do you want for Jacobian Myers? I think we got a case. I can see it, I can see it. I can see a vlog of that. Alright, frivolous lawsuit. What do you refer to Jacobian Myers? What do you think, dude? I think we got a case. That's wild. The city owes me something because my brother and Florida died.

It was sad and it doth. It was so sad. Freaked out by the news. That's just always funny. You got a cool dead dad story. Pete Davidson's got a cool dead dad story. Pete Davidson's guy. I don't have a cool dead dad I got murder. Yeah, murder that's a cool Where are you so fucking cool? You're on the edge of cirrhosis gay

My dad's fucking still alive and here queer Guys never been in a knife fight outside of a strip club. No, I mean it is kind of cool cuz my dad did beat up the guy first That's no that was that was in the newspaper. It wasn't the newspaper I was in the newspaper article. Oh, we believe in all the news now. I guess you're right We need the Dave Smith voice lame stream media is it? No, that so that's kind of cool like he beat up this good, but then you know this kid came back and fucking God, I'm Benny Blanko, yeah, just fucking. Do you know where he got stabbed?

Is it in the article? Well, the organ, the fatal organ that he penetrated, splint, lower intestine. Ah! You're shitter. You shitter, spray everywhere. Oh, no, you're dirty. You just got loose. You just got loose.

You just got loose. Spraying all over hot chicks. No, girls, go back inside, please. Oh, no, please. Let me die with dignity. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my diarrhea spray.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Why did I go for barbecue this afternoon? And the Chinese for a late breakfast. Oh my God, should I get my mouth? Should I get my goddamn mouth? It stinks so bad. Please die already.

Oh, it's still hurting so long. I got a message from my children, but they smell so bad. What did I eat? Loose corn kernels today. That's how much coming out. Stings. That's why when you talk to Pete Davidson and he was like, yeah, my dad's not. And you're like, how did you dad know he's like, you know, to people on his shoulders.

And he was walking out of the towers. That's the coolest death ever. Is that actually what now? Was that like within the towers? I know, but he didn't say. I know, he didn't say. Nobody did, he was a fireman. I started saying, he was a shit.

He might have been the shittiest fire, I'm gonna never, he's like spraying the away from the building. Yeah, or just, or just, she's like Mr. Bee, he's just, he just gives up, starts running through the hallway. He's riding the host, shh, shh, shh, shh, Davidson! He just gives up and starts running through the hallway. He's riding the host. David's in!

I think he's the one that broke, or something. He's like, we're all gonna die! Everybody we're all gonna die! And they go, help us get out of here. He just holds his knees, goes, it's too late. It's too late. This thing's going down. Let's try to get to the roof and surf it.

I don't know. I don't know. We got to escape from L.A. this thing, I don't know, I don't know. We got to escape from that light of this thing. I don't know how it works. Yeah, I don't know how to do it. If he was a hero, he would have made it out. That's what I say. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Dude, I hope you see a hero right here. I hope he hears this episode that goes and fucks Natalie He's like I got I got you I got you lost I Don't I'm gonna play with the fuck very loud Hey Natalie want to get involved with me and Kim Kai. Are you in the group stuff?

Maybe you haven't met my assemble of Femfei Towers. Do the idea of Pete Davidson bringing Kim Kardashian around his whole life already? So funny, dude. Into the stand. It goes, that's Patrick. He books the files. Patrick, this is Kim Kai.

Ah. Do you have two stools for her bond? Kanye showing up to the stand, jealous. What do you have to say? Hey, Kim, what kind of wood fire pizza you want? Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. They got a homestay on them.

I'm not your dick of the dirt. Ha-ha-ha. Judge, you try one of my friend, Joe, the Rosa sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. I'm not a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a old. I'm hilarious. No, the fucking John Mayer was bringing Katy Perry around for a minute when he was trying to do comedy.

Yeah, but it's a little different. I don't know. It is different. John Mayer's like above Katy Perry. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, pizza. What?

John Mayer's better than Katy Perry. Like, I mean, if you were to grade them on a scale of whatever, their celebrity, their f**kiness, their music, their f**kin talent, every, there's no- They're comparable level fame, I think. Not just fame, I'm talking about just better. John Mayer's better than Peter. Oh, John Mayer's a better musician.

Motherf**ker, are you kidding me? Yeah, John. Well, that guy loves him. Also, the guy screamed it like he was informing us like he knew. Yeah. He's like, John Mayer has a big dick, but he's very sensitive about it. He just doesn't toss it in you, like a fucking animal. Sorry. No, it's cool.

You guys just blunt-fucked me on the momentum. I'm glad you guys could check the time and let me fucking die out here in the warehouse. See, whatever you said, end with like, ain't that right guys? Yeah. Hey, that's what I'm saying, guys. Hey, guys. Would you say, guys? Guys.

Look, this is by far the Skank Fest that's had the most chicks in the audience. Crank hot chicks. Hot chicks. What's happening? Is this a setup? Let me ask you one question. Were you guys hired by Jake Flores to take this down? I will not come on your cookie, sir.

Look, I, uh, I have not seen any hot chicks, but that's okay. He's trying to take it. Negging. Well, I'm Puerto Rican, easy. Sorry, that's your work. No, there's some hot chicks here, yeah. Okay. Good back pedal.

There are a few hot chicks, you know, it's literally 98% men. I know. And any hot chicks that are here are probably dating a man. Yeah. Are there any single hot chicks here? What if we go, listen, I said I would give him skank fest on Friday if I could go to Astro World on Saturday. And then this fucking shit happens and I gotta fucking see this.

What even is a fucking skank fire? Guess I brought my earth when it fired, he shared for nothing. She's crying in her hotel room. She's so un-sick-o mode. I do want McDonald's now though. Have you tried the, I'll give a fucking free plug to rodeo goat. Oh, that's one. I'm gonna go get that burger. I'm gonna fuck that burger.

I'm gonna walk every day. Really? Every time I come to Houston, I have it. It's so good. Me and my chick get the whiskey burger and the bodacious burger. We split them. One sweet, one spicy.

Cool, dude. Why are you saying such a queasy couple thing with like aggression? We split it. We go halves. Because we're both the one to eat that bread. No, you fucking stepped to this. You got to understand something when we snuggle we ask them Mo kiss

You want to stay in what I'm saying I fucking rub my girl like no You know me in this bitch don't bump noses. I can't get to full REM cycles Yo, I got I fucking feel my eyelashes against her like butterflies Yo, I see that girl on site. I'm kissing her every time gentle forehead kisses. Oh, I'm holding my gentle little queen I'm excited to get two hearts coming one. I'll go with you today. We got lunch today hell. Yeah, hell yeah, dude Be actually friends. Oh, I'll be here Fuck happening I'll go up with you today, I'll get lunch today. Hell yeah, hell yeah dude. Be actually friends. I'll be here. What the fuck happening? You guys just made lunch plan for hell.

Jell-ish. Jell-ish, Jell-ish, Jell-ish, Jell-ish, Jell-ish, Jell-ish. It seems like warrants in Jell-ish, so you guys are making plan. You're smoking around me, fire, marsh, I didn't smoke, they hand it to each other. I don't break rooms. I don't know if you heard but the last seven years or so, I love Skankfest.

This is my best friend. I love Skankfest rules. Everybody, thank you so much. You guys are awesome. We love you guys. We love you. We love you, Skankfest. We love you guys. We'll see you around.

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