The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sound It Out (feat. Ted Alexandro)

Episode Date: June 24, 2021

Ted Alexandro joins Jay and Dan on The Bonfire to chat about the good and bad relationships with other comicsStream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com@TedAlexandro www.TedAlexandro.com#CrackleCrackle

Hey, it's Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Welcome to the Bonfire podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. You want more Bonfire. You can hear our full show every day on Serious XM. The Bonfire! Please welcome the hilarious Ted Alexander who's new album, the lost album is out now available at Ted Alexander dot com. And the Ted Alexander show live streams every Thursday and Sunday on YouTube and Roe Finn, roe Finn, rock, rock, fin, I suck. Rock, fin. Sorry.

Yeah, we found it out. Use your context clues. Ted, I guessed all the way through school. All right. I know your former teacher. I am just happy to be with you. I don't care how you pronounce anything. Well, welcome to the bonfire.

That is the thing with me. Yeah, thank God, because we just found out yesterday that we've been saying, we should ask Ted. Yeah, can you? Let me read you the end of this ad read we have. So we have a help us out we're kind of in bed with big Wendy's we're on the down low I'm with you okay yeah we're pumping their agenda of major savings also trying we're regularly we're also trying to woo another advertiser coming on for tasers but that's a different we found out the Bennington show has a deal with taser.com.

How cool is that? That is great. And it is pronounced woo. Is that, is that what you're going to ask? Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to woo. Yeah.

It's woo. That's the proper tool. Yeah. To win someone over. No, Wendy's would like you to know. And tell me if I'm saying this wrong. And it's the C word that I'm going to say here that they're going to say I'm saying wrong. Okay. Fresh beef available in the contiguous

US and Canada. Who wrote who wrote that? Like some kind of ad nerd. Yeah. Some ad nerds. Dave Thomas, dude. Here's the deal. We know that's not me. We know Wendy's is given us some sort of, I know poor people bones and no real big real fresh beef, dude. That's their thing. Don't come down when don't come on. Yeah, and I hate to, you know, to step on what could be a burgeoning, and I think I'm pronouncing that right, relationship with Wendy's. But why would you even use a word that in any way resembles contagion when we're coming out of a pandemic, you know what I'm saying? That's a good question.

Well, here's the other thing, not only that, but the sentence itself says, fresh beef is available in the contiguous US and Canada. Now I don't know if I live in the contiguous US, so I'm not getting fresh beef. Like that's, does that mean only landlock states get that? I can't believe we haven't looked it up yet. Why would you fr- I mean, isn't your whole thing hot and juicy, like fresh beef, like no matter where you live,

the beef should be fresh. That's what I was led to believe growing. Yeah, okay. So it's not fresh beef in Alaska and Hawaii's what they're saying. It means the 48 contiguous states. So the, yeah, yeah, okay, and also can you see how to say it when I was about next to it Yeah, push the button but when I was in Alaska, they called it the lower 48 How's it sound? bang it out

contiguous contiguous get the fuck out of here contiguous contiguous I would have sided with you one. I would have sided with you contiguous get the fuck out of here contiguous contiguous I Would have sided with you on I would have sided with you. Yeah, I can Think you by the way when I say it with when I said contiguous I the first time I've said it was the first time I read it was the first time I knew it was a word in that very ad Weeks ago and was so proud of myself that I was like, I said the word probably exactly how you say it. And it's going to make people think like, look at Jay's name and question. And he goes, yeah, I have the contiguous United States contiguous embarrassing memory that

just popped into my head. Please. I remember in high school. And I was a decent student reading the word drought. Okay. Incorrectly. Because honestly, honestly I like I don't know how I made it to whatever age I was 16, 17 and hadn't come across drought. So I think I said like draft or draft draft or something like that and like the class is laughing and uh the teacher's like looking at me like you don't know how drought is spelled you know.. So like yeah, just so Jay, what was I say is don't, don't feel shame at coming across the word. You know, but I was saying how old were you when that happened? High school. So I don't know. Maybe that's the most that's the most pressure with embarrassment. That is where like that's like Olympic athlete level of pressure

all the time socially You know, yeah because I considered myself relatively With it like you know, I mean and we're dropped you're like dropped and they're like oh Ted's an idiot You know if you really it's funny if you if you put a toothpick into me Anywhere you start to see where my humor came from and what my like what I'm associated with from the things even a conversation like this sure they were having where you learn words like that and I learned that the word depot is not depot sure I learned that because in the in the shopping center my mom worked that when I was younger. There was a place called the Video Depot, and as a kid I could walk in there and you

can see behind the thing, Porno movies. And the video depot. That's your episode one story. And so you know I was just like, I remember being a kid and having going like, I was like, man, there's like, you can see porn there in the video depot. And they were like, it's dep-Pot, I go, still. Yeah, still, I go, okay, noted. And by the way, so noted that still rings true

in my head today, that moment. I'm talking about being like eight, nine years old. Sure, sure. And then you have the word, a despot, right, which is just an S away from D-Pot. Yeah, and it's, and it sounds the way you think it does when you call it a depot. A depot? There's a video desk, a video desk bit, which I don't know what that would contain, but probably

the porn is good. Yeah. Did you ever do in your young time in comedy, Ted, did you ever, because like, that's one of the hack, like bits that like 14 people, you know, also had it because like there's that's one of the hack like bits that like 14 people you know also had it was like the Houston No, not that no that like the hey, I'm a why would you get with that hamburger when you can have a philate Mignon over here The right yeah, the Pronunciation of that so fancy. Oh my god. Yeah the Cab Cabernet, you know, a glass of Cabernet.

That feels like a joke that would just blow apart a long island room and then you're like, well, I'm in trouble. Which is kind of where I started. I started between the city and long island. So it was like the worst possible combination. Yeah, I was hearing the Flet Mignan regularly and then going into the city and trying to forget about it. Oh man, you're coming in here doing original comedy in the city, then going to get buried when they make a psiosit reference in front of my ex wife. My ex wife is deep in the long Island comedy circuit now.

And she's and so I've just come across these people and man, it's the ones they probably hate me anyway, so it doesn't matter because they're all pretty bitter dudes sometimes I think out there. But like the 50 something 60 year old that are still banging out those like spicy boys Wednesday night shows and VFW halls and shit. You're like, damn dude, this was not what you, this was not how you saw it. This was not the thing you saw. I don't know what fit is or it isn't. I think it kind of saw.

I think they kind of saw it. You know, uh, there's a moment where they just like went into it and were like, okay, steak houses and fucking via firehouses, VFW halls that whole that whole. What's that? Why go like, let's say we'll do a gig. I'm doing a gig in Pennsylvania tonight. So you're driving out to the gig

It's gonna be shit money shit money. No pussy What are you doing it for like what's the what's the what's the draw the traction you're looking for there then the life I understand the money. I understand the money. I have a first for money. You're like, oh, that's that's good money But now we're talking about guys who mostly probably have day jobs a lot of them are pumping the merch too You'd be surprised a t-shirt that says like the lit Mignon like it's oh my god that bottom is third car. Yeah, that kind of thing man. You know, you know guys who work backwards from merch to direct.

Yeah, so that's there could you know could be a t-shirt of the first the first thought. You know, I think I've told the story of the bonfire before but this guy that was open for me when I first started working I did a weekend at zany's Nashville and they did the thing where I only worked the late shows you know but they had a guy so they had a guarantee sell out on the first show and then they were like hey this guy's features good part of the deal is this guy's feature has the feature for you and he was much older than I was and he was just very wildly

Uncomfortable to fact that I was younger than him and he kept being that thing where he's like I was headlining when you were a kid And it's like well then you suck because now I'm headliners. I always one of my favorite stories my favorite stories ever was something like that And he was a nice enough guy, but it was just a weird Situation with being in the green room in rascals, Cherry Hill, New Jersey. I was a headlining just like a one-nighter, I think. There, and Chip's coony was opening. He was featuring for me. And it was just, you know, it was getting a lot of those,

like what did you get up to? And at this point, like, that was a big deal for me to be headlining that night, for sure, to me. And I just got off doing like some dates of the Insomniac tour with David's hell. Oh, Larry's Jacob just left. And I just got off that tour with him. And so he just goes, he was like, well, so what are you been working on?

I was like, oh, I just did a bunch of dates opening for a tell on this like theater tour he was doing. That was great. And as Chip's cooney, to the camera as Chip's cooney, had a top hat on, a tuxedo. And while he was tying the knot in a cape around his neck, he goes, oh, he goes, I tell us to him, theaters, now it's good. He was a funny kid. Just the casual way he said that I was like, what's? Well, there's, and then he came, and then his, I'm sorry, his his his ending bit

was uh where he gets the strips down to he's an older guy and he's wearing pasties and he had uh he's a tidy whiteies with a shit stain in the back on purpose you know like a big goofy that's the joke and and that guy dressed like that after a set I didn't know I was just in the green room having that barge in the green room. Having that barge in the green room with his tuxedo like balled up in his hand and tassels and a shit thing. And he goes, hot crowd out there, man, real hot crowd. Ted O's saying I'm doing a show, I'm doing a show at Lincoln Financial Field in a couple of weeks. Oh nice, man. It's awesome. Yeah, but it's like this show and the thing. And they were a big daddy gram when I was young. He was a radio guy down there.

I think a radio DJ, a big daddy gram. But he did comedy also. And he looked like a soap opera star almost. Like he had like feathered hair, would have didn't need to be. And he was one of the few white comics that came down to the headline weekend of his own crowd at the Laugh House in Philadelphia.

And I remember he had songs in his act and everything and me and Kevin Hart used to actually laugh like sort of at Big Daddy Graham, not with, I mean, I mean like Jesus Christ, what a fucking like antiquated act. So I'd yesterday for this show that we're doing we had the big zoom meeting, whatever with the Philadelphia Eagles, like PR people and the big zoom meeting whatever with the Fodaf Eagles Like PR people and all the comics just to give the backstory One point they go and in half time they go You know big daddy Graham and I was like oh boy, and I'm looking like to Ray who knows who he is too

I go oh yeah Well, I remember big daddy Graham. All right, and I'm getting ready to Ray who knows who he is too. I go, oh yeah, well, I remember Big Daddy Graham, all right. And I'm getting ready to definitely say something shitty or snide and funny. And they go, well, half time we're honoring him because he's paralyzed. And I went, ah, come so happy I got stopped. The breaks I go, but I mean, when they said,

you know, Big Daddy Graham, I go, I don't think that he cramped. And I do, I, yeah. And I was like, worst in saying he died would have been, is it been going, he's paralyzed for life like, oh God. And he's gonna be there. It is chair.

By the way, watching, didn't say word about this. I left it, I come on the radio. That's why I need to do everything on the radio. That's why I tried to talk to Anthony. Justin Nick, when there was a weird thing on the radio, I'm too much of a pus to say the things are the problems in real life. They said, all right, so we're gonna do like three comics and then the big daddy Graham tribute

and then three more comics. I'm like, oh man, that's not a good way to do it at all. Like, you wanna to talk about a fill it off your legend being paralyzed for life, newly somehow. Well, there's an outside possibility, you know, and forgive me for suggesting this, but maybe Big Daddy Graham is faking it because it's the best career move.

Oh, got a book, got a book on the show. What if he stood up at halftime and someone had to follow that right? You got to follow that you go wait. He just miracle walked and then it's like you be like oh So anyways good to be here Philadelphia Yo Christine what happened to Big Daddy Graham? Do you look it up? Have you well? I was gonna ask Ted a question. Has he have you ever had? I'm gonna please I'm gonna shoot a shot. Have I ever had a nickname like that? Shoot your shot. We heard you were called quick silver Alexander. I want to know if you pick that name

up in Queens or in the city. I was like, I'm a little bit younger. They called you Ted the truth Alan. Yeah. You're a school yard legend. We just make up a story for Ted. Ted, you inspired the Beastie Boys. Tell us how that happened. No, but when you, you know, obviously, you're like, one of my favorite comics and what's cool about you is you're such an awesome guy to talk to and be around. Has anyone ever been addicted to you and then you've felt like while they're going up, they've been addicted to you

and then later in life, they're just like done and you have to feel bad for them. Well, you know what comes to mind, not so much that, but just like when people are addicted to you when you're starting out, you have some level of power. Exactly. I remember there were a couple guys who just ran open mics or whatever and they were dicks to you because they could be. Sure. And then years later, you know, as you kind of surpass

or whatever, then they're kind of like cozy and up to you and acting like it never happened. Like I remember one guy, like literally wouldn't let me go on because I had four people and you needed five for something. And Andy Angle. I just say the names. I just ripped the band. And Andy wound up being the best man at my wedding.

So young comics never never never never turn around on the ever burners. I yeah absolutely. I didn't have as so much with the young comics that were shitty to me or kind of nasty, all just sort of phased out. That was kind of shaken out of the net right away. By the time I started working the clubs, I wasn't really around those people anymore. And they kind of just went by the wayside.

More for me was the way you're treated by like people who are the power people there like the what was his name roger paul that guy was an interesting guy who would do that he's far yeah I'm not even like fuck I don't even have like a fuck that guy thing at all yet he would be probably blown away if I did but just like as he doesn't even remember I just remember though when like Keith Robinson is a mentor of mine was like oh oh, get Roger Paul a tape. This is like VHS. Get Roger Paul a tape because he books a bunch of like, you know, he's basically saying like shitty stuff

that like a new comic should be doing. And I was like, hell yeah, that's huge. You know, it's like all paying gigs. And like, I was like, oh, it's talking like Keith he said I should give you a tape. And he was just kind of like, oh, my kid, like don't bother me. It was just like a very attitude of like don't bother me. And when I was really young too,, so I should give you a tape and he was just kind of like, I had big kids like, don't bother me. It was just like a very attitude

like don't bother me. And when I was really young too, a Richtorffman, I called him, but again, I know now, like all these years in comedy, the call that I made to Richtorffman was anointingly stupid to him, but like, it just wasn't nice. And if someone even calls me because I'm a young comic, he thinks he was, oh, kids, like,

what I'd need from that phone call was more of like, and I think it would have taken the same time. Oh, dude, you're not like looking for a manager. Just do open mics and like, you know, I think I did open mics for like three months. And I was like, well, time to get a manager. And I just made phone calls out of the yellow pages. And he happened to be in the yellow pages. Well, Dorfman was.

He was kind of, he was kind of like, just kind of like dismissively like to, it was almost made me feel like I was stupid for calling instead of saying like, oh, kid do this other thing. But Ted you said that Rick Dorpon was your manager He was my manager for I don't know five years or something in the early 90s So what I'm saying is I can make the intro now If you feel ready if you feel ready for that shot we were talking about managers earlier Don tomorrow show we're talking about assistance it's time to I think works I know Rick now this point like he's a good dude. You just remember it, you just have that thing put in place.

You could have been like cooler to me. Yeah, well there's also a flip side of it and Ted, you know, you've worked along aisle rooms and every other room. Sometimes you have a booker that's like really nice to you or good to you or promoter and then you like work with him and then you have a friend that's like, that guy's a piece of shit and you're like, well, he's nice to me. And you have a weird thing. Everything is always dependent on your relationship with the person, which is also dependent on where

you are in your career, right? So it's like, if someone treated me like an asshole when I was, you know, first five years in, but then after I have a couple of specials or whatever, then they're like treating me like a human being. You have to learn not to take as hard as it is, not to take any of that shit personally because. Exactly. I do think it's hard.

I actually have a hard time with it. I've never even attempted in 15 years to engage with Chappelle and Chris Rock when they're around simply because like at this point it's frustratingly annoying that like I just know they've come in while I was on stage or come over it's like they've never just you know I'm the younger person who like why don't you say hi once instead of like they pass me like they're like, oh, are you a comic? And I was like, you just see my face for 20 years, dude. Like, come on. You know what's even worse? I go to the other route.

I mean, not recently, but when I was younger, I actually gave a line to rock one time, like stupid. After I, like, I was like, you know, because I was, I was genuinely like watching a set, something I thought was good, Parkinson's in my head. And I did this with side fell too one time. And I think it's the opposite.

It's the same dynamic is what you're talking about, Jay, but it's my nerves and my whatever. I'm like, oh, I'm going to like pretend like we're just, we're all comics. I'll give you a year. Yeah. Both of them looked at me like rightly so. Like, you know, what are you doing? I don't even know you. Oh, dude. That is the, that was still a thing of like being like I get I have that happen me all the time.

People to fans have texted me entire bits that are just like not like I mean like word for word like many many pages long and you're like I just go like oh do that I don't really do other material but thank you man you know I mean like there's still way to just handle it like Like, not like, hey, dummy. What do you think this is? Now, here's the thing. This is why I love radio. Because on radio, I'll go, hey, dummy.

Dude, but because there's nothing to shield it on being fake by it, it's just like, I genuinely just like, I'm not confrontational and I like to be seen as like a nice person, I think, you know. How do you mean, radio in terms of like, if somebody offers you something, like offers you like a nice person, I think, you know. How do you mean radio in terms of like, if somebody offers you something, like offers you like a suggestion or so, I don't, I don't know.

No, no, no, yes, we have somebody offering me a suggestion on a joke on radio. I go, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you offering me a joke? You don't offer people a joke and I can, because I know I'm entertaining by making it funny and ball busty, aggressive. real life. I just eat it man. I just go I'm skittish and warmish like oh, I don't really it's great

But it's not really my thing. I see the potential. There's something. Yeah, I just don't know So that's what yeah, I honestly, I don't remember either of those guys being a dick, but I just felt so stupid. They were both like, you know what I mean? You feel so stupid that you're like, why did I, I've told the story on the show before, but a tell called me one time to run bits, and I gave him a tag and he just goes,

not looking for tags. And I was like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, I was in San Francisco. And I remember hanging up the phone and being like, why did I do that? Why did I do that? But you're talking about them being dicks, a foolish mistake that I think a lot of people make

when they move to New York City, especially when you've loved comedy your whole life. When you see Jerry Seinfeld, you're like, oh, shit, Jerry Seinfeld. You're very influential in a lot of people's lives with comedy and living in New York City. And I saw Seinfeld outside of Stand Up New York and I was like, hey, how's it going?

And he was like, eh, like that, walk by. And I was like, I understand that he's probably bombarded with, but there's a way to like, there is throw away. And that's why I don't believe when he came out years later and was like, I'm autistic, you know, or whatever he said. He's like, I'm on the spectrum.

It's like, that seems like a convenient excuse because you've just been a dick to everybody. You know, well, he's at, like he's at such a level. Yeah, that, you know, everyone knows who he is and had the biggest. Yeah, yeah, he had the biggest show of all time, but I'm saying, I didn't, he doesn't just say he doesn't distinguish between. Oh, you're a comedian and you're an annoying fan. Everyone's annoying. I was I was I was remember there being years between us having this conversation of a But I mean I was in the day. I for whatever reason got Ben Bailey's phone number by the next day I was I still lived at home and Philly I called him to punch up Because you know you needed a cab. How'd you get? Yeah?

Well, good for cash cap. Tony right now Ben, I am deep into Roman history. So if this ride hasn't hit it, no, I gave him a phone call to punch up one of his jokes for him that he didn't ask me to do. And I will say he just like he was like, oh, it's funny. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you know, I'll think I'll think about that like maybe any hung up and he never did it with that bit as he shouldn't have and Years later, you know being like a more established knowing him. I was like I remember I did that He was like yeah, it was bizarre Of course, I was like yeah, of course it was cool But he never was like he wasn't like dude don't call me with like

Joke I did that would and that would because maybe go I would make me go like oh man I'm an ass and I'd be embarrassed to hang at the seller and see him there like I'm just like I'm much more than guy because it's such an intimate thing right it for me it kind of has to come from somebody I have a relationship with in terms of a tag or something if some random open micer says, hey, do this. I'm not going to I'll be like, oh, thanks, but you know, no. But if one of you guys like appear says, hey, I thought of this and I like it, then I'll put it in. I think it's almost the equivalent of someone coming up at like adjusting your shirt or

your pants. We're like, who are you? Hey, move the shirt back and you're like, stop. But if your friend comes up and you're like, yeah, taking a look at that. Your friend comes up and goes like, oh, okay, there. Sorry, your hood was out of whack and you're like, oh, great. But just some open leaker. Hey, Dan, like, that's a fuck all. Yeah. What are you doing? And I was thinking too, with the a tell thing, have you guys had the experience?

I mean, this might have been exactly what you're describing. I'm not sure. But, like, I found Paul. Yeah, he's like, do you have a bit about Jesus writing a new cycle? Yeah, he calls me, he's like, we always say, we always, I used to ask comic, is that a real one? Yeah, I know, no, but it's something he might say.

I'll tell you why, like, I always, I say, you remember the weirdest one. I do this with comics a lot. For me, it was, do you have anything with civil warry and actors and strap on dildos? No. No. I mean, it's always like, second.

I just got one last week where he says, do you still have a joke about, do you have a joke about still using cash? Oh, no. Oh, no. Right, even like little things that I was out, like just cracked me up is like, oh, that's probably better than anything I have.

Let me just say it last time. That's what I always like do with him. It's like fucking like, I don't, when he ever goes, do you have a joke about Civil War and the actors and strap on Dildos I go? No, but I mean like, if I did man, just two years, it's probably my favorite.

My favorite, just two years or one, do. One of my favorite at home moments was outside the cellar smoking a cigarette. It was right after the Boston Marathon bombing, maybe two days after. And a towel comes up and we're both smoking a cigarette. And he goes, so how many Boston Marathon jokes do you have? And I was like, I don't have one. And it's like, you don't have one Boston Marathon joke. And I was like, no, but I'll go right one.

I'm so sorry. I let you down. I didn't know we're at home. Oh, fuck, are we doing current events? And the Patrice were the only two guys who could affect my set with like a snide comment at all. Like I was blown away. Like the tell was always so like complimentary

and like, like good to my comedy and like really fostered it and put me out there for people. And it was just one show. I think it was Virginia Beach. He goes, you're gonna close on that dog eating bus you've been again. And I was like, never again for the rest of my life. He'd probably go, I have my God.

That was like a negative from him was so like, oh, hey. Yeah, yeah. I was just checking my phone for for a tell interactions and funny enough Want one of the most recent ones I asked him to do my podcast and he's like I'm doing the bonfire today Can I can I get back to you? I'm still from you, but yeah, but then the second thing he's like do you have a minute? And I'm like, yeah sure. What is it? He's like important. I need to check a joke

So then I he must a call he must a call Yeah, I didn't get that block number and he goes are you out of safe location? or what is it? He's like, important. I need to check a joke. So then he must a call. He must a call. Yeah. And then get that block number. And he goes, are you out of safe location? Okay. Here's a deal. Dolphin cops. Do you got it? Or not? Dude, right. Dude, I've had, I've gotten calls from celebrities, like, like, like, deep, not high level celebrities, but like, people that like don't have their number blocked. David tells the, I only know him because it's the only

blood number that comes through still. I feel like it's and I like to believe that he star 67s it before every call. He writes it down star 67 718. 10 was there ever anybody that when you were like when you started comedy because you started in New York City which I think is fucking crazy. I think it's like crazy just to be like, let me go to an open mic and just crack that thing. Well, I was from here, you know, so it wasn't like I had any other choice

or anything else occurred to me. It was just like, I'm from here. So the good thing was being from Queens, I was halfway between Long Island and Manhattan. So I was kind of doing these bea rooms that, you know, they could be decent. Were you like a start driving right at 16? Yeah, I had a car too, so that helped.

Yeah, that's, yeah, these new or kids don't. Yeah, so I mean, as far as getting reps and stuff, man, it was good to get a lot of stage time. And also you saw a lot of good comedy and obviously bad comedy. But that was going to be my question, is who is stage time and also you saw a lot of good comedy and obviously bad comedy. But that was going to be my question is who was the first person that you saw that when you started you were like, oh shit, this person's awesome because I started in Tucson. So the people I was seeing were like silent clowns that played the piccolo and I was like,

this isn't good. So seeing a good comic I was like, oh shit, I think it was like Troy Baxley and Ben Creed were the first two guys I saw that were like, oh shit, these guys are fucking good. So seeing a good comic, I was like, oh shit, I think it was like Troy Baxley and Ben Creed were the first two guys I saw that were like, oh shit, these guys are fucking good. Well, it's funny because you have that, I don't know if you guys have this experience where it's like a little bit skewed for you because if someone is killing routinely, you kind of think like, wow, like that guy is good, that guy murders. But then like with a little bit of time, you're like, oh, that guy's been doing the guy murders. Oh, shit. And like with a little bit of time, you're like, oh, that guy's been doing the same exact act verbatim. I have five names I can tell you right now,

all that I know in New York. That one at first, Moopier, I was like, wow, they're really good at now. Like, they're still doing that joke. The bummer is we all have the same one. Yeah, we all do stuff the same way. Well, that name is clicked in all of our heads. Yeah, so you had that kind of,

you held them in high regard and then you kind of learned, like, oh, they're, you know, they're is clicked in all of our heads. Yeah, so you had that kind of, you held them in high regard and then you kind of learned like, oh, they're, you know, they're mailing it in night if night, but, but yeah, I mean, there's, there's, in New York, there's so many, but just to kind of continue on the hotel vibe, when you get words from somebody like that, I remember one time I had just done Boston

and he was downstairs having a drink at the bar and he just invited me down. Like I was maybe five years in or something like that and he invited me down and like you don't even know how to act or like what to say. You're just so excited. Like, you know, it's like the Godfather calling you in and he says, you know, I've seen a bunch of your sets. I really like what you're doing.

You have your own thing going on and I was like, oh thanks, you know, I've seen a bunch of your sets. I really like what you're doing. You have your own thing going on. And I was like, oh, thanks. And then I had a drink with him where I don't know what I said. Sure. I just felt like a date where you're in love with somebody. Honestly, it's the closest I've ever felt to being a lady. Was I went just like a love struck lady.

Was I went to playwrights for Sam Rill and Joe Mackey's birthday there I have like a mutual birthday party and Bill Burr was just sitting at the bar watching the black hocks Bruin Stanley Cup and he's like, Souther what's up sit down he's like, and I don't know anything about hockey so I just sat there being like his girlfriend like who are we cheering for? That's a terrible he'd be like, that's a terrible plan. I'd be like, that is a terrible boo. It took me, it took me a decade of multiple seven, eight hour plus car rides with a tell, being on a tour bus with them for a little bit.

It took me all of those to get still not to, he's still not a guy like, I mean, you got him a car to go drive somewhere. I would just think I'm gonna make, I'm gonna go, 80s fucking rock ballets, dude. That's what we're cracking. I'll sing it and be silly with you. A tell is still I feel like I get in the car, I go, is this music cool?

Like if you don't think it's cool, I'll turn it off and stuff it. Like, it took me 10 years to get there. To get, to get where now I'd be like, oh, dude, I think you'll like, or do you care if I put on plastic rock or whatever? Like, you know, it's like, I could talk to him like a guy, but I still, I'm like, I don't want to put on something that he will just silently sit there and not like for an hour. Even though he doesn't care, he's like, I don't care, put on whatever, but it's like, no,

I want you to care and I want it to be something you really think is cool. I want you to have the best car ride of your life. Yeah, but I mean, he's a guy too that like he'll drop in like cats in the cradle and he's like, you know what I mean? Yeah, oh yeah. He's coming. You go, hey, so I'm playing Harry Chapin live the whole time. We got W-R-P, you got a little taxi. Maybe the drunkest I ever got in comedy was with a tell for the same reasons

we're talking about. It was at the Caroline's Christmas party. Oh, man. It's like you're talking about Frazier Ali at the garden right now. You went over to play rights. You're right. You're with a tellin' is prime. Yeah.

A tellin' is prime and he buys me a shot. And like I was kind of already kind of buzzed and like kind of thinking about my exit plan for the night Was this whiskey or Yeager years? I think it was the Ager. Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure I came in Yeager years Yeah, yeah, so he you know buys me a shot. You're not gonna turn it down So then all of a sudden I'm like drinking with a tell for the night and then we go over to playwrights and he's buying more and Yeah, I wound up I was parked this was when parking was easier on Broadway Sure, I was parked right in front of Caroline's and I woke up the next morning in my car in front of Caroline's Yeah, I was I was so wrecked. Yeah, I just slept and what you didn't know is that Dave was up at 8 a.m.

writing new jokes. Completely fine. Yes, the driving. Driving someone you look, I, Goddamn, Rebecca Trent, let me borrow her van and I drove Colin Coen up to Binghamton. And I had to do that thing with the entire car. I was like, is this okay?

Is this okay? I get it. And then, you know, Colin's got that energy. He goes, can you stop being so damn nervous? And I was just like, is this okay? Is this okay? I get it. You know, Collins got that energy, he goes, can you stop being so damn nervous? And I was just like, oh, okay. I felt like a college kid picking someone up at the airport. When a tell, that's me one time. I was friendly with a tell already,

but I didn't know Louie really at all. Oh, yeah. That's what he goes. And I don't know, but whatever it is, a tell points out, he goes, he goes, Louie, you should catch a ride with Jay. Jay's going up to the comic strip right now too. And he goes, you should ride with Jay.

And he was like, is it cool? I was like, yeah, of course. We didn't say a word to each other on the walk to the car. We got in the car and it was just two white men sitting back super straight. Well, I drove, I drove safely there with no music playing maybe like light very I think I may have just to have any kind of not silence some volume going I didn't smoke because I didn't know if that would bother him like cigarettes even and we drove there and when I when we were on the

block whatever it is like 81st or 82nd the one when you come from above it. I was turning on to second Avenue and he goes, you got any gigs coming up and I go, I'm going to the Montreal Comedy Festival and he goes, oh, he goes, he goes, it's a good festival. And then we both get out of the car quietly and as he opened the door of the comic strip, I was started smoking so I was staying outside. He goes, good luck with the festival, man. Just went inside. It was like two senses and 35 minutes of being together. It was so awkward. Now, I know Louis now and he's great.

But those early times, man, I am just like, I am not good at meshing in very, if I respect the hell out of you, you know, do I mean it's like a special thing. Yeah, that's true of everyone, you know, and I think in come because honestly, the ones who go the other route of you. Yeah, that's true of everyone, you know, and I think in come because honestly the ones who go the other route and are so aggressive, you ever have like open micers come up to you like they know you like they're so like, do I know you did we work together?

Ted, I had a guy DM me that was like, hey, take me on the road with you to open. Here's a link to my set. I can feature, I got a car I can drive. He didn't follow me. He just DM me to overform. He got to even follow me on Instagram. You're like, what are you doing? You think I'm like, okay, yes, you.

You're like, I got friends. That's weird as shit. Just like, hey, oh yeah, we have a lot of friends, don't we? Well, I think actually, we should probably let Ted go, because we're gonna take a break. We're gonna read ads and come back and wrap the show up. We basically fucked up and pushed all our commercials to the back, but Ted Alexander's album,

the Lost album, out now, and available at TedAlexandro.com. Ted is fucking hilarious and one of my favorite people. One of my favorites. Also, Ted, those things you you post how cool is that? I love when fans do art that stuff. They're awesome. There's some things that's all today. Yeah, yeah. That's on my Instagram for folks who want to check it out. They did like eight different, you know, different artists,

painters, illustrators. They did different renderings of me. Yes. So make sure you go check out Ted's new album, the lost album, go buy it and also make sure Ray and of course big J in the Philadelphia Native also know this. Well, my and Orlando Florida this weekend June 25th and 26th. J is going to be at the Orlando improv that Appleton Wisconsin go to big J comedy dot com for tickets. Dan Soder is going to be a red bank New Jersey this weekend. That is Friday and then Saturday is going to be at the Bell House in New York City two shows get your tickets for that. After that's gonna be in

Dallas Cleveland Sacramento for tickets and all other tour dates go to dancoder.com Ted thank you so much for being with us man always a fucking pleasure. Great to see you guys. Not sure why through the F-bomb in there before release to the message. Hey man it's a fucking pleasure hanging out with you. I gotta walk on my bag at you. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you