The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Sounds Of Silence

Episode Date: July 15, 2022

Audio problems in the studio are awful with no help in sight!

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Oh, it's fine. We're sorry everybody, we're figuring out the headphone situation over here still. I'm on technical duties now. Did no one say anything about fixing this one? Nobody heard of it. It'll get done. Well listen, I fixed two of them.

I asked for replacements of headphones from mine and for where tickets are sitting. No, not your problem is different, but you would think they would listen to all of them to see if everybody's all right. You would think they would have done all this during a worldwide pandemic. Yeah. Yeah, you think when no one was here forever. Well, here's the thing, they didn't replace my headphones, they replaced just the pads. What? On these cheap mother-e-ing headphones just the pads you lower me a little bit Dan actually Trying to get that fixed during the break good this

You think that's gonna get fixed or any in between shows Not it's like no chance. Hey, no, what? Flux is gonna get it. Hey, you know if they're gonna do that Well, when we get this one done the actual one is supposed to be right in front of me instead of being the wrong one already. Jay, consider it done. Thank you. I love this.

Jay, consider it not done. And I guarantee you by Tuesday's live episode, they're not fixed. Which is hours from now. Hours from now. Which obviously terminator timeline, we recorded this before Tuesday's episode. Jay, if you could tell them to fix it now,

I don't mind. Tell them on it. We'll tell them a guy while they're here. Don't suck your nuts that you're the iguana king of South Florida. You know what, we really need Jato explain what he's hearing because a lot of times they'll come in and say, it sounds fine. Shipship. No problem.

Plug it over here and touch the cord even a little bit and the sound goes out completely. I always love that the staff that's here to help us with all the technical issues always seems bored and angry at us when we ask for help. What the fuck are you guys doing? You know, like when you were a bad student and whenever you tell your teacher that your desk is broken, they would always be like, oh it's not. But if the good student asks, they'd be like, let me see what I can do to help. Yeah, tell you fuck to stop eating cheese, it's in the break room and talk stuff.

Tell them to stop sucking off Joel Osteen or whatever the fucking channel they care about. What the Christ is happening in that fishbowl? What was going there yesterday? Young punks. Bro, there's a lot of people up there today, somebody big coming in. There was a rapper that Black Lou doesn't know. They're on the way. They mean nothing. They're on the way right now. Yes. Oh right now? No, I said come get in. Why can't he do it now? Throw on the way right now. Oh right now. No, I said come get in. Why can't you do it now? It's gonna make the room weird. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna stare at him the whole time dead air everybody I have a lovely ice coffee that I can just sit to the sit to the side and sit I give myself a nice try

I'll just get over here. I don't give a fuck. I never thought I'd miss puppy monkey, baby. Oh, man He was great and he even fucking didn't mind that we shit on him a little bit And he got shit done. He did get shit puppy monkey baby wherever you're at You have all the mountain do you want puppy monkey baby now they got a bunch of confused Fucking fat up, but then exactly like I said Hey, how you doing? Hey? We've prepped the audience for our awkwardness is going to be both of those heads. You want to explain what's going on?

Both of these are not working right the headphone jacks and this one is working actually fine over there But this side is fine that side the headphone jacks are all messed up I know the people at home are on the edge of their seat hearing this. Oh, this here. I'm gonna plug this in Here and then you can you can hear check it out Oh, this here I'm gonna plug this in. Here, and then you can check it out. To check it out. Hang on, we have some charging cords over here too. There's a lot of technical things going on.

Give it a whirl. Dan sing a song. Everybody knows... Yeah, B.P. Oh, Bill too. Oh, B.P. Bunk B.P. B.P. Bunkin' bout bad girls. Oh, it sounds good.

It sounds good. The sad girls. Here we go. There's a test for the J. How does it sound? No way. You don't hear the voice? Like the voice sounds like all modulated? No, no, it's like.

Yeah, yeah, I go. He knows, J. It's you. Your ears are busted. No. Yeah. Let's get that. Smell my duty. Yeah, how powerful I am.

Jacob, stop. Jacob, don't say things like that. Don't talk about your duty and how powerful you are. Did you, did you have to spend an hour just cutting up clips from that one? That doesn't came right to me like a gift from God. I mean, it really does. It's work, it's preparation meets opportunity.

It's too fun. It has pure success. And you're saying. It's way funnier than I was hoping it was going to be. Yeah. Well, now we're going to see you know. Second opinion. Yeah.

Second opinion on how Taney the voice sounds through the. Can it be you listening to the whole time? Absolutely. Jacob, come listen. Tell me how wrong I am. Jacob, jump in. We need a third chef in the kitchen. I was thinking maybe a third person should jump in there and listen.

I'm so thankful if you. No, Jacob, maybe I've just been wrong the whole time. Give it a whirl. Show him how powerful you are. Make him smell your duty. Gets you in the whirl. That's right. Well, that's, that's, uh, that's fart boxing.

Garrett, it's, uh, Baray's birthday on Thursday. That's what I was like. Far-box. Far-not, far-box. Far-butt. Baray. Baray's birthday on Thursday. That's what I was like. Far-box. Now Far-box, Far-box. Baray. Baray. Baray.

Baray. Baray. Yeah. Peacat it. I'm loving this diagnosis. Shh. Everybody think about punching it? Just giving a fonz on the top.

E. I don't know, we fonzied it. We fonzied it several times. Blue into the top. Hey, I don't know. We fonsied it. We fonsied it several times. Blue into the hole. I had to reset a video game recently on PlayStation 5. Yeah, where is puppy monkey baby? And upstate at a farm. What happened? He didn't want to come back. Yeah, well, he was gone before the pandemic. Yeah, that's true. He was gone way before the pandemic.

It was Doville. Doville. He's out. He published his rules. That's it? Yeah. He became a New York Times best seller? Yeah, now he's out fucking... He's given all the Doville rules for the studio. I haven't seen Doville in a while. You're right. Rule number... 181.

When white people don't see you, you go. What are you doing? Huh? Doville run down. Dude, they have the Doville rules on a website? 181 when white people don't see you go Huh doveel run down dude. They have the doveel rules on a website shut up on bonfire series xm. fandom dot com Don't drink a soda that's already been open just doveel rule number seven. I like they're all over the place I wasn't born yesterday 32 I will not sleep in a room painted in industrial colors. Rule number 37. If the room is acting weird, something's going on. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Rule number 41. Monitors are the eyelids to the soul.

Man may God contact with you. Don't shake his hand. Rule number 51. You stand by everything. A motherfucker says. Never forget a seven behind. Never to let another man make you smile. Yeah, you got to pull a fast one. Oh, old tofu. That's really funny. Don't care about no eclipse.

That's it. These are great. But these ones that were set on the show were just all ones we said. Yeah. Do you not need a hardball? They're gonna be at the house. The whole ones we said yeah, you're not eating a hardball they get another man's house Did you say there's eight there ain't no number 69 cuz doville don't do that? Definitely you You walk it like a you walking with a bitch you always be on the outside keep a safe from the streets It's a good man Here's go If I sit at a table it would not be with my back to the door.

In this lifetime, you don't have to prove nothing to nobody except yourself. What a wise man. That's from Rudy. And also, Bonfire Context, who's Dovell? Oh, hit me with it. A little Bonfire Context. Dovell used to actually be a technical... What would you call that? IT. IT guy. IT guy. We had several IT guys. Bonfire context. Hit it. Bonfire context. Our first IT guy, we named Puppy Baby Monkey. Puppy Monkey Baby. Puppy Monkey Baby from the Mountain Dew Commercial because he looked exactly like Puppy Monkey Baby. Puppy Monkey Baby. And then our second IT guy was all up being around so many guys to boys day. It's boys day at the bonfire

Hello, did I hit the jackpot? I'll have a lose having uh-oh someone put Jay and a meatloz on It's all meat all the time I know I know it is throwing you up Had to get fixed right yeah, no, what a good time. I always like getting a medical checkup on a date. You know, like to bring in a doctor, having to fill my nuts. We have fun topics behind you, though, coming up, Mr. Pan. We already did that.

I know. Do we do Mr. Pan's? Yeah. I talked about Mr. Pan's. We're trying to figure who the comic was and his non-Pants comedy. You got to tell me on AGT if he comes back and does the pants thing again. Well, tonight's the big night, buddy. Because he emptied the barrels.

Well, last week was a best of, which made me furious. Yeah, because it was a holiday weekend. How dare you? On a Tuesday, though? Yeah. Get over yourself. Take Monday off, fine. God bless America. Get over yourself.

But you take Tuesday off, you're being a real piece of shit. Dude, when this awkwardness is over,'s gonna be 30 minutes of hilarious. Just see you know. I want to know if this gets fixed. If this gets fixed? Tan. No. No. So what do you think you're gonna have to fucking share cans with Fiori when he comes in on the live show? Fuck all of them.

No, I'll probably, no, I'll be good to our guests. Now listen to, I'll stand perfectly still and not move my arms at all. You have to go cheek to cheek with all the guests now. It's, yeah, we're gonna just spread just one head phone over us. Oh dude, dude, dude, dude, you're touching. Yeah, do it.

Oh, that muck of two years mushing together, sweaty. Your guys is beards rubbing against each other? Oh, damn, that's erotic. It it's so sexual I'm coming in my pants can you come soft is that possible you're wrong yes you can yeah I've done it you can you came soft yeah you can how how does it get like you just got a will it out of it eventually yeah you just mind push your come out of your soft you You can get a half feet to the point I've done a half feet. That's what I mean though. I mean soft button now impossible. No not impossible doctor What's the diagnosis? You think is it?

Dirk everything's fixed Jay. Oh cool. Thank you guys, man Give a little listen. Give a little listen then. How does that sound? How is my voice sound coming through? He's plugged. Oh no, you're right. No, it's this one here.

Right? This one here? No. Beat beat. Boreston before. What's worse about it? Just specifics. I'm not making it up.

Lou. Listen up. Beat beat. I've been working here guys. Guys remember, I've been working here 10 years. So remember that I've been working here Harp came here. Yeah I want to think of this as a long part of the show which I have you guys come back down between shows I won't forget I think you guys I want to thanks guys. I want to have a long. I want it to be a long con This is the please leave company

That this is a company thing I mean Door shot what yeah, what was that what the fuck was that they really did they he was staring at No, they're fine Jacob makes that face like I'm just kidding. It's fine. They're fine Now there's two mics so we're getting feedback there's two Something there's oh I have the headphones off turned down a little bit. Yeah That was wild. Do they came in here? They really like if you if you if they were mechanics We dropped our car off and we were it's making this noise and we picked it up and it made the noise and went that's fine

our car off and we were it's making this noise and we picked it up and it made the noise and it went that's fine Three three three cars running three times. It still makes that noise and they go. It's fine Three times a hand to me and they go perfect Now and the last time was the worst of all time that guy handed it to me really goes They're just standing there watching the show and they just set there and they just kept looking at it and then changing like The heads on the thing it was insane I didn't see anything actually nothing nothing it'll hold on and Jay hold on Jay can I fix it for you real quick? Yeah Cut to you my favorite thing what you do hold on I'm fixing it. Oh, yeah, you stare it a little bit look look around

There you go Think it and thank it Okay, we're good. It's fair. The funniest thing about the whole thing was, we were using it. Jay, I'm still fixing it. Let me tell you the funniest thing here. That I don't know if you guys call it or anybody call it.

They were using these headphones, the entire time stretching them from the console in front of me. Yeah. The ones that you're not using. They're stretching them across me to use them over there and constantly playing around with the controls over here Don't want that I don't even like you're hooked into this

Thing so they did literally nothing you want to go like head and I need to be the headphones and they were like there you go Hey guys, it's good as new are you guys friends with the president of the company? Is this like a smoke screen? Are you actually like are you as adopted children or something something? Is there a job? Is there nepotism? Is your uncle zoo serious? Jacob, I know you're worried that the hellpire is going to beat you up one day, but don't. Here's the thing. Jacob's got to deal with that smoke while we're not here. That was insane. That was their job to fix the texture. That was the funniest thing. I didn't want it to be live technical assistance, but aren't you glad that you actually saw what happened? Yeah, sure. Yeah, because now I can do this

impression. I'm thrilled. It's all the time. Dan is lowering and raising the volume. That's it. It's like, hey, it goes, I think the TV's not working. It's like, did you guys try headbutting it and we're staring at it for 15 minutes? The end of my impression is this. Yeah. Hands of pockets. We had to dismiss them. I didn't know what else to do. Like guys, you can't just say you're staring at equipment anymore. They did nothing.

Dove rule 117. They did nothing the whole time and three times handed me the headphones going like, here we go. And every time I go, it's unbelievable that they would do it. So much so that Jacobs like, damn, JR, you just wrong this whole time like not even sort of wrong You know when you know when you believe that you know when you play you know when you play tea party with a kid Yeah, and they pour it in there and you're supposed to go like oh, that's good tea hot That's what they did that is poured nothing into a cup of it. They came in here and played make pretend I teabed guys

Yeah, I sort of got that like, if they were acting, that would be a good acting. Jim, if you're listening, big Jim, come down here. If you're listening at all, oh, that would be a good one. Oh, shit, we're pre-recorded. Jimmy Meadhead. Yeah, that was crazy.

That was almost a troll job. Yeah, if they were like, those guys don't work here. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, okay. That makes a guy got us Those guys are here to put in the blinds. I thought they were waiting to answer Dan's question Which one awkward about coming soft. Oh, yeah, I can ask you like they're like let me some work on this for a second I can I just I actually have I Is this hot? This is hot. I've came soft.

Am I live here? Okay. Can I? Can I? Can I just like, it's weekend of this? A couple of times. Yeah, no, no, no, I can leak. I can leak when I'm soft.

And then he sits down and he goes, you know, I remind me of a story. It's guys, what's going on in this country? Anyways, go and pass me those headphones. Hey, I T guys, you can't say that on the air. Why not? It's revolutionary. It's revolutionary. What if this guy's become the biggest fucking radio duo

in series XM history? It's revolutionary. Dude, that was one of the funniest come in and not work thing that I've ever done. And I've been a hungover waiter and I've came in and not worked. And that was the best not work I've ever seen. I saw nothing get adjusted and then said it's working now.

Yeah, did you see them think, did they think? When they walked out, they were, when they walked out, they go, yeah, I've ever seen. I saw nothing getting adjusted and then said it's working now. Yeah. Did you see them think, did they think when they walked out, they were, when they walked out, they go, yeah, because it's one thing or the other thing will figure it out. Like, or they were, they walk out of here like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I almost felt like they knew me so well because I was so close to being like, thanks guys, that's great. Well, yeah, whatever. It's good. On the break, Jacob. Jacob, make sure on the break they do come back though in between shows,

because I want to say. And also make sure we have no open drinks, because they're going to put pubes in our... Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they have time though, when they have time with it a little bit, I want to see how also nothing they accomplish with it. Do we come in there,

there's in spooned up napping on the couch? That was weird. That was weird. I mean, it's a radio Stations so much to be able to fix these things. I'll tell you right now. I've worked around radio engineers Yeah, I was 19 years old. They always come in huffy with tools the grunts, dude. They know the thing I gotta do I'm a fuck you gotta. We gotta change the fucking Headphone port again. These things go constantly They're like did you know what one of his solutions was to only plug it in a little.

That's what I would do. That works sometimes with things, but that's an insane solution. That's, I mean, that's crazy, because you guys have a toothpick, I can pick it out like an iPhone. I'm sorry, why are you? Are you employed?

Are you employed by this company? Have you tried yelling at it? Have you tried yelling at your headphones? It's working now. Yeah, that's the best. Who do you tried yelling at it? Have you tried yelling at your headphones? It's working now. Who's the best? And when he hits me and coughs, and when nods, he'd go off. And I go, it's fixed, he goes, yeah, he goes, just check it out.

When you said, when you went, no, it's not, he went, fuck this fucking guy. Really? Did he? He gave me a look. Tell me that's true. Because I thought I was being nice for those guys being buffoons. Let me say here's the power and cork Tell me they were shitty. Did his fucker roll his eyes at me? Here's what I think we're running into We want things fixed. Yeah, but Jay's saying that it sounds terrible and they're saying no it doesn't

So what do I do? What? Eddie, fix something that they believe is already working. They believe it's working. What do I go? I think we just found a genius way to handle all customer complaints. I might just believe the opposite of what they say they go. I ordered no jalapenos and there's jalapenos. There's no jalapenos. I like jalapenos.

jalapenos. jalapenos are good. Yeah. No, I don't know jalapenos. But it comes with good. Yeah. But it comes with all of you. But it comes with all of you. No, it's fine. Yeah, but I asked for no all of you. Oh, you'll see.

You'll see. You'll see right here. You'll see all of you. It's all of you. It's all of you. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah.

There are all of you. There are all of you. Yeah. Can you get the whole of you? No. Come on. It's done done That's how the dish look This thing's never gonna be fixed It's not because he think he feels it. They feel it

Stairs going like what is this guy want dude? How did everything become subjective Everything becomes objective He's had fun things don't work he goes I think they did broken his subjective for my perspective coming out of one ear It's a fucking fact. Not only the one ear it's coming out of is all fucked up sounding Sounds like a clock right guys from standing Those guys get all there. Yeah, cuz maybe it work over here if they got if they don't have a hammock in their office They're doing this whole thing. We're all yeah for sure

Those guys are definitely if they're not flipping through a copy of jugs magazine and they're fucking hammock Brad you're making me go downstairs again He presented it three times. He's Literally did nothing because the knobs he's playing with are connected to something There's no headphones in so he's listening to these headphones and he's just going like yeah, there you go. Oh god All done. They go those guys actually were concealed. They just like the show. Yeah, they were worse They are worse now than they were when those guys walked in. Yeah, you're just a complain with bad ears What if Jim and Sam love the sound? Where do we go from there?

They love it. They love the sound that's coming out of their J. There's no way that's true. That's why I'm kind of confused. Like I feel like I should. Norton wouldn't take any shit. Yeah. You would have. What if Jim said where Jacob does? Oh, doesn't. Yeah. You are. Such a big J is. Yeah. Really?

Anything from Jim yet. Oh my god. What if what if Jim's deaf and we just find that out now He's like he's been reading lips for years. You know we're headphones Maybe there's more head spots. Well man. He's been doing it longer than everybody so maybe his ears are just fatigued Fatigue I don't know if that's a thing. Is it thank tired ears? Beers out into Jay No, it's not or some of the first out into Jay. No. No. No. It's not.

Damn, put him on. Now I need you. What? Dude. I mean, now that noise is subjective. God. Oh. Put him on.

Doesn't matter what side. Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Turn down. He gave those to me and said, you got it. They're good. Hello, darkness, my old friend. All right. He gave those to me and said you got it, they're good. Hello darkness my old friend. Alright, alright, honest the God, honest the God truth. I can see why he's

you can hear stuff through him, but it the noise quality is terrible. I mean not even sort of okay. No, the noise at the the is blown out, the volume is... You rather not hear the... You rather not hear the... It's uncomfortable to listen to. Right. And when you're speaking into it, you sound like... It sounds like it's not...

It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not.

It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. It sounds like it's not. I think he's in the one that you have to use that's to your own he is look so he is doing the same thing You are no, yeah, he's plugged in over here. Yeah, so the one in front of you's absolutely broken Yes, and this one here if you move it all cuts out It's pretty crazy

Because I I gave it a little fucking once over and I gotta say, Keetog it should work. Can you toss those headphones in the other jack? Cause I'm gonna... That was great. Jacob, come take a, come on. Put over here. Get a taste. I know.

I know you hate using other headphones, but come on. I don't wanna, I believe you. I'm with you on this. No, you have to try them. Here's a sand, He's a sanny pad Black Lou is that video at the top are you just fucking stoned? Oh, it's a real like a real trap. Oh, yeah see that put it on Dude if you go down a couple rows where are that one more one more?

Where the Denver Nugget shirt on damn dude my torsos looking fucking nice I got fat since then unusable unusable thank you thank you I want those guys in here the whole time we're on break though because there's no gonna do something clownishly funny there's audio coming out of it I'll give them that and on and at one point only one side, I twisted this on as why it's now coming out of both years. It's a nightmare. It's working. You're good now. What? Dude, him for a haircut and he looks at your hair and then goes like done. I tried to do this. Your hair is now fine.

When I went to a guy that didn't cut my hair, after the pandemic, they opened like a barber shop near Katie and Jersey and I was like, oh, I'll go get my haircut. I'll bring them a picture of what I look like with the haircut I want. And he just looked at, okay, and then he's cut it the way he wanted to.

Halfway through, I was like, that's not what I, no, he left the front all super long and I was like, can you cut the front, it's too long, and then he made me look like I have a buzz cut. He's like, no, it's not. He's like, it's fine, that's perfect. That's exactly the picture you showed me. You're like, yeah, okay.

It's also a barber, that's what I get. Barbers, you know. Oh, you know that story, I'll tell you my stepfather, the hardest he ever left. You can get him on the phone right now, and he would fall to pieces. If I remind him, I'm talking to Bill the barber. He was always our barber when I got like regular haircuts, but I was hitting the age where it was like, oh, I want to cut that I'd probably

should've gone with salon for. I was trying to explain to him the shaved side longer top. Yeah. And my hair, he just goes, you want to line in the hair right about, and he just goes, Hank. I mean, way high on the side. Not like with hair is going to hang over it all down. You know what I mean? He chopped all the way through it. It was insane.

He just, all the way to my head, Hank. And I was like, well, there it is. And him just shaving the sides up and making like a bowl. And then I had to get him to at least like take some of the things so it laid Instead of being a bowl, do you know what I mean and my stepfather had to leave He had to go outside because he was laughing so hard that Bill the barber was getting uncomfortable and he had to go outside Because Joe knew what you were I was I'd pissing he was he was holding his dick to not pitch You were pissing he was he was holding his dick to not piss

He was laughing so I can he saw my face go right away. You're like it's everything by the way the thing was I was There's no bullshit. I was the next day. I was planning and I did do it I told you this before I did I got in trouble for it I was playing the jingle bells and the percussion for the school band, for the Christmas show, and I did it like I was jerking off the jingle bell for it. And I was like it was going to, I was doing it solely to impress Janessa Farragale. I'm like, I'm going to get, I'm going to kill on the odd in the auditorium here. Yeah, you're like, Janessa's going to fuck it, want me after this one. Just gotten trouble and I look like a goddamn toad. Just with that stupid hair. My hair was so bad.

Where were they met? Fat in a suit. Where they like, how could you do this at her Christmas recital? No, I just look at it like an escape patient. It was a bad bad hair. My stepfather couldn't stop like, oh my God. It made him so happy.

That's gotta be so funny. I'm happy it happened because of how happy it made him. Yeah, but looking back, you were like, not before the Christmas recital. When you wax that line right there, you just, you know, now know you go, I don't have a good haircut. My haircuts over.

What I was thinking is not happening. Probably for months and months now. He's been a real decision for my head. Oh my God. Oh my God. Way too high. Way too high. Dude, that was like when I buzzed my head in high school because I thought it was gonna be cool

And I realized how lumpy and weird my head is when I shave it and I just showed up in this girl my class It's my ew when I took my head off. I was like oh Because what you doing your hair? Are you buzzed it all off your heads all weird? Does the last time I went to a barber? Straight up fucking salons ever since. Salon, Vidal Sasu. Yeah, and I did, actually they told me to do it with that haircut I had was like, well, spike it.

Like, spike the top of it. And then I got Dipty-Doo when you would just buy the shit that they had, like, I was like, if it's not green and with covered in air bubbles, I won't use it. It was not bright green. Why would I use that? Yeah. Not in my hair. Dipty-Doo, I told you use it. It was not bright green. Why would I use that? Yeah. Not in my hair.

Dibbity do. I told you, gave me Dandruff, eventually, like Allie Sheety in Breakfast Club. Yeah. I could make, I would do my homework laying on my tum tum, listening to the radio in my mom's bedroom, as well as listening to my homework, and I had a composition book open,

and I did literally the mechanical pencil. Just through your scalp. Got ice for you. I scraped it all off. I sells some blue, and I never had the mechanical pencil. Through your scalp. I scraped it all off. I sell some blue and I never had dandruff ever again. But it gave me in a couple months, like, it was crazy looking. Dude, I used to use brilla cream. You know, the little dab will do you. To hold my long hair when I had it like,

Is it brilla or brill? Brill cream. bril cream? yeah I've said it wrong, bril cream. But I would put a lot in cause you would hold my hair. That's old man shit isn't it? Yeah but when I found it like old man slick bril cream.

Yeah cause I was like, I used depth with the air bubbles and stuff. And then I was like, oh bril cream holds. And so I would hold it and I'd had long hair parted in the middle and it would stay looking wet, you know? For a long time. Oh yeah. And so I was like it and I'd have I'd had long hair parted in the middle and it would stay looking wet You know for a long time. Oh, yeah, it's like this is the look and it was freshman year of freshman football I would go and put my helmet on And I would it wash my hair before and dude in the middle of like warm-ups when we're doing like

Carry on Van Dam at the end of blood sport. Did you play in blind? I just remember once I'd be in stretchlines and being like, ah, ah, ah, that's happened on me. That's happened on me a bunch, dude. You start, especially if I like, do my hair and start like, for you to go out to work concert in the summertime, you just get a little sweaty,

like your head, and you're just sitting there watching and showing off something like, tssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss My grandfather's hair was always slick. It didn't look hard. Mine was hard. Oh, no for sure. No, I would get mine until it was super hard shell but uh, but now I'm saying my grandfather though some of the slick hair of like the 50s 60s 70s parents. I don't know what the hell they do. I don't know what they use. It's crazy It's something because they're they go like this with their comb and it's not the barb aside It's they do something with their comb and then Come back and they get those those comb Tines dude great great look fantastic old man hair. Yeah, dude Just broke cream

I didn't even know broke cream was a For hair Which is a concern? Oh club man styling gel. That might be the stuff. That might be the old man. There you looked up 50s and 60s hair gel. But there you go. Yeah, there's like a picture him right there. Yeah, they always said it's like a hard part. Should we do that? And they're haired and their hair did like a little swoop in the middle sort of. I have a calik in middle of my head So when I did the butt part it worked perfectly. Oh, yeah, worked perfectly. Oh the button the middle part Yeah, now you're like a fucking idiot if you do that. Dip it. You do there's that shit even when I got it

It the writing was different, but it was a tub of green So gross, that's why I lost all my hair using too much of that gunk Did we put a lot of you Which we would dress a mega if some if a kid used to estimate you were like what is your mama hooker? How do you get that kind of money in your house? What's trust him? Oh that was just like what it seemed like was the much more fancy brand of hairsprays and gels L.A. looks dude. Yeah that brand right there But he's gonna tell you what it's also trash garbage. Why is it trash garbage? Look at the fucking price. Look at the price, dude.

Walmart's selling it for $31. You can get a nice thing. You can get a nice thing in your hair. You got to do it right. You want your hair to look nice. You got to use a nice product. And he's not, this is not it. These are all alcohol based crazy shit. Dry out. Took loose hair. Took DJ, took DJ lose hair. Yep. You used a lot of shit right now. I did it till it turned hard and Yeah, I don't know why I thought that look good. Did you have emotional problems shape? You have a good head for shaved head, but did you know right? Oh, but did you know that right because I'll tell you what Karim greens a good example Karim green looks phenomenal with a shaved head

It's the first time I've seen him with a fully shaved head, but he's been really going through stress. And again, this is why I don't understand. One of the few insecurities I don't understand is balding. And Karin was like, it was killing him to get to the point of shaving his head. And I'm like, you look phenomenal with a shaved head dude. And he's like, yeah, I know, but it's just like,

because it's going, did you go through any kind of emotional, like fucking like- Yes, because nobody else was bald except for my twin brother I like moby was the only bald's Celebrity that we knew of nobody had bald head You guys go through a hole you guys go and stay whole no this way before that I was 30 Would you guys going through it at the same time? He did it first he shaved it first and I knew that it would look good on me because we had the same head

Oh man, that's so cool about having a twin He tried it for you try lots of like go ahead Imagine nobody else walking down the street. Hey, what else is bald? Let me know do we look good and denim jackets Torre-la-round for me Yeah, yeah, look like a fucking freak dude. I would outer or moby like shaving your head if I could shave my head I would love to do that like but like, like, you know, not me. I have such a weird head. It's long, like an alien. Like front to back.

Yeah, hate it. Yeah, my shaved head is not good. I feel like you have a nice round head. Uh-uh. No, I have a bad, bad shaved head, real bad. Bad face for a shaved head too. And also because I have a good hair line, when you shave your head

It's almost better if you're Like it looks better almost if you were balding yeah, cuz it's back on your head But you almost have like that my hair line right you get the kind of the peek in the middle like kind of like I don't have to describe it I feel like that kind of looks good the problem with me shaving my head is that it's clearly a choice to shave my head Yeah, and my hairline is very low. So you get that kind of weird, like, just like the fat kid who smelled bad in school shaved his eggs

as parents were poor, couldn't afford haircuts. So they flow beat him. Oh man, the flow bee. The kids that had the flow bee cut. Well, that was always a joke. No one had been to the ever had a flow bee, but someone had a flow bee. Oh yeah, there's someone had a flow bee.

Two kids I can name right now legally their legal names no shit that I knew that I was like you have to have a flow be cut and they said yeah no I'm not talking my speculation I'm talking about no one I ever known has claimed ownership over a flow be I wish we were live I'll tell you to call if you had a flow be growing up damn that's a good one good in the flow but I never we didn't get a lot we didn't get any of the ass scene on TV. It always seems so expensive. Tell you what I use, this is the Jacob product

for 20 years now. Mm-hmm. Magic move, it's the product to the stars. Magic move, bring it up, please. That move light is what I use. Hair gel? Yeah, you put a little product in, it still moves, but it keeps it where you want it magic move

Well, there's no videos about it Is that it is the white one. Yeah What's the cost? Let me see the cost in this thing. It's not cheap It's not expensive either What do you mean 15 bucks for one ounce 1.5 ounces? Okay, that's a tiny little tub. Is there a better hold than light? And I can see these reviews please are you gonna switch over to fucking magic? Yeah, this is the stuff. I need a little more hold than light and you go

They got a heavy they have a heavy do they have a plus size? a heavy? They have a heavy. Do they have a plus size? I go, Jay, that doesn't matter for him. I don't get. Does anyone know what the ingredients are? Bad review. Someone says, love it. A woman likes it. She's working a feature film about anapolis. There it is. Like I said, the movie stars use it. My name is Martha. She's not really. Sounds like a maid of me. Yeah. The movie stars use it. My name's Martha. She's not really. Sounds like a maid of me. Yeah. I'm a guy and I have puffy and spiky hair, like a porcupine. From third grade to today, I hate cutting my hair.

Flat top, because I've not found a way to flatten my hair. It blends. Wait, what? No, this guy's just rambling. Yeah, this guy's really letting loose, huh? It's like crazy people use this shit. It could also, my hair can also move when I shakes my head. Also, it's from 2009. I love that you imagine.

I said it keeps it in place, but it'll move if you want it to. Is there a heavy... Is there a heavier hole? I'll try magic move. I'll go yellow, dude. That's soft. I'll try magic move. Oh, go yellow, dude. Mmm, that's soft. Yeah, what does this bullshit hold?

Where do you buy it at, just Dwayne reads, CVS? Uh, the best places sell it. Or Amazon. I get it on Amazon now. It's Japanese product. Oh, hard. Okay, let me read some reviews on this Damn, do you're so hardcore even your hair gels hard? Yeah, I like it now. I wanted to move But I also wanted to stay

I'll bring in some of the light if you want to try it now. It's the lights not for me I'll bring in some of the light if you want to try it now since the light's not for me Jacob let me stop you right there I'll try the light you try to right get get the small ver You will try it's gonna do nothing Dan has to do nothing with his hair that this palm aid is gonna do and This is gonna go up. I like to go up and I gotta keep it You know to hide the corners gonna keep the and I gotta keep it, you know, to hide the corners. I gotta keep the four and four. Dan, you're gonna love this.

John, it looks to have a nice turturo, a nice John turturo. I like to have a lot going on right here. I like to go up, but I like to come down. Oh, like a bouffant. I like to hide. By the way, my vulnerable area is. Once it's in, it doesn't feel weird.

It just feels like you're here. Doesn't feel like you have gunk in your hair. You know what? But it does the job. These headphones are fixed. I like your hair. Doesn't feel like you have gunk in your hair. You know what? He said, it does the job. These headphones are fixed. I like to know. That's how I tell you I'm a via product. These headphones are fixed.

Hey, here you go. All done. All better. My father's favorite hair wax. He uses it every time to style his hair. Thank you, Vira. El Vira? What's her name?

There's only not, what, there's an actual name. El Vira? I know it seems There's only not what this is an actual name Elvira I know it seems like only the mistress of the dog show off go up. Was that a Michelle Wolf review look about Bob Elvira best air product. I have every used actually does what it says takes away the frizzies and makes your air look be cheesy wavy nice and smooth I Got the hard version. I want to be hard. I can't speak for that. Let me order and let me do this.

Let me order you some hard, me some light. Try it out. Do it a little on air. I'll come in flat here one day. Yes. We'll get it going. I'm excited. I stand by this product.

Yeah, not so much the Flowbee. I'll tell you why I need a Flowbee right now. I look the flowbie the dog Get her cut. I tried to vacuum the dog with the hand thing that day. She did not enjoy it dogs only vacuum Client first she was sort of okay with it and then she was what was happening and I mean Almost she pulled almost out of her collar They don't like around her ear and shit when she pulled back. I'm like, I was talking about this. That's always one of my favorite jokes.

I'm family guys when they make Brian a dog do dog things. And when Lois goes to the closet and she's like, are you share? You're not doing what I think you're doing. And she gets the vacuum cleaner plugs in. And he's like, you wouldn't do that. Do dogs and vacuum cleaners? Oh, yeah, she chases it though. Like, she wants to get it.

Crips and bloods, dude. She wants to kill it. Yeah., yeah, she chases it though. Like she wants to get it. Crips and bloods, dude She wants to kill it. Yeah, she goes at it. She's not afraid of it She wants like to be a girl. She wants to like what the fuck is this thing? So Jane I gotta tell this story I don't keep what I'm telling you this so Jane. I use the same dog center when we go out of town when we're not able to go Justin recommended it. She's great. She's great. Ebony rules She watches our dog. We got a pretty name's Ebony and she's black and that cool It's pretty cool. We got sent a video while we were both gone Katie was in Seattle I was in California my grandma's we get sent a video where she's like, hey

I had a competition today with some dogs. I Took I took all the dogs this competition. I entered my heart in a competition today with some dogs. I took all the dogs in this competition. I entered Myrtle in a competition and she almost won the race. Really? She was running her. Really? Yeah, we have video of it.

Myrtle's fucking hauling. And she goes, by the way, most dogs, you have to like, chase a bag. That's how they get them to run. And she goes, most dogs, you have to put a trainer at the other end to be like, come here, come this way. She's like Myrtle was going after that bag, dude you have to put a trainer at the other end to be like come here come this way She's like myrtles going after that bag, dude. Yeah, they pulled that bag and myrtles like

Dude I'll show you the video her running. She's fucking it's awesome. I want to see Dawkins in a race cuz Dawkins gets down Dude, I'm telling you we I think we're gonna be fucking stage parents Dawkins runs like a horse dude I mean myrtle keeps her butt low to the ground or low center of, but dude, her running, it was great. I was so proud. She runs like J and J. Yeah, I was like kid. I was like kid, kid, go and dude. But um, while you're pulling that up, can I say one more thing about magic move, light? Yes. Robert Downey Jr. uses it. Does he? Well, in my mind, I have no proof of that But I always wanted that to be true So I've had that thought in my head for years

So I'm showing Jay the video get a curl racing your dogs And then you see her you see her fucking haul off dude. Yeah, she didn't almost win though. Why? There's 17 other dogs in front of her? It's not- no, no, no, wait a minute. The video where she's running by herself. Oh, oh, oh. That's not dogs.

That's the bag they're dragging. It's time trials. Yeah. It's not against each other. No. I'll do throw docks in this thing, dude. No reason. That thing's a horse.

I call her a thing, because I don't choose her identity for her. It's so woken. I'm waiting for Dawkins to tell me if she's a boy or a girl. I love that. I love it. I love that Myrtle's just fucking, we thought she was just as fat stoner dog in in actuality. She's just been a little bit of an ass if she wants to be referred to as her. We put it on her. She's also Protestant. Wow. You gave her a religion. Okay. All right, that's cool, I guess. Yeah, and she's very patriotic. Oh, and also she stands for her anthem. So don't come after her. Damn, do you look at that stride-murls got? It's the lost tapion. We just dick around. It's the bonfire. Watch my dog breath.

The Boundfire. Watch my job, bro. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Boundfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! you