The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Stan

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Kevin Hart endorsed Shane Gillis, so Jay goes through his old texts to see where he went wrong in their friendship.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. Out of the gate, let's just get to it. Yeah. Kevin Hart, it's just get to it. Yeah Kevin Hart It's time to attack him. Yeah, I'm sorry dude. I got so angry I didn't see it until I saw the people

Snap like someone sent me like holy shit look what Kevin Hart tweeted out and I saw it that was the first time I saw it, and I was like, damn man, it does, now by the way, kudos for Shane doesn't bump me out, whatsoever. I think, uh, Shane doesn't need kudos, I think it's awesome to Kevin recognize Shane. I'm gonna say this, Shane doesn't need kudos, okay? I love Shane.

Shane doesn't need accolades, kudos, money. He's doing great. He's doing fantastic. He's doing fantastic, okay? He doesn't need the bump, the Kevin Heart bump. No, I really needed the bump. You don't really need it, but you need it, but he's your friend. I desperately needed the bump. He need 2.9 million people so I'll say that. Hushing goes. I say we start spreading rumors. I don't mind that. It's to listen. He's not going to promote the special.

We're going to get him to promote the special. We're not we're going to get him to promote the special. Look, I understand me, even though I knew him when he was nothing. I was at the salo with him every night. We were rolling dice for God's sakes at three in the morning, taking keys money. For what it's worth, though, yeah. One thing I'll always thank Kevin Hart for is when you asked him if you wanted to go with you because you were coming back to New York still in LA. For that three-day collegeist trip he said, now I can't do it but take big J. But I did. Yeah I did and I took advantage of you. And now looking at this here is all these things. It's inconsequential.

I didn't know it was taking advantage of me. I thought it was, everything was copacetic. I'm like, this guy's paying for cigarettes. He's. Taco Bell? Yeah, Taco Bell. Gas. Gas, yeah.

This is a free, the hotels covered somehow. I'm doing great. Yeah, well, you know what? Will you go say, Christie? I should 100% reach with this, right? A hundred and everybody should retweet it. I immediately start. I don't know if I start late last night or I start this morning.

Wait, you should just retweet Kevin Hart's post. You should retweet my post and you should retweet my post. I don't forget what mine was. I was basically saying, what about Big J special, Kev? What about the kid you came up with, Kev? You don't even what mine was. I was basically saying, what about big J special, Kev? Kev? What about the kid you came up with, Kev? You don't even know, Shane. That's such a glom. Yeah.

It's a glom. Christine. I like that word. It's a glom. I like it. Yeah, we're getting... Oh, oh, so a millionaire is going to help another millionaire. Get more millions?

What about a millionaire helping a thousandaire? Yeah. Help us. help us thousand there is this he didn't actually did think that was kind of weird yeah that was that was a weird that was a weird thing to put out there yeah and kev's never gonna what did I yeah what about big special special yeah and I tagged you in it. Yes, and it was to him. It was directly to him. It's time we get on him. I think how do we do this? Maybe? Oh, you know, in the era of just, you can kind of say anything about anybody. Not everything. We had a show taken off. Okay, not everything. No, but legally, we wouldn't have not been allowed to say it. Okay,

just before you say something, I just want to bother that. Well, how legally we wouldn't have not been allowed to say just before you say something I just want to bother that Well, how about we did this so a long time ago we did this with Was it in Jason Mars? Make up some fake rumors about him, but that was with no end game in sight That was just wouldn't it be funny to make up fake rumors about Jason Mars because he's such a vanilla thing like to make him like a lunatic Yeah, hashtag fake Jason Mars rumors fake rumors about Jason Miraz because he's such a vanilla thing like to make him like a lunatic. Yeah. Hashtag fake Jason Miraz rumors.

We can just make up rumors about Kev. Hashtag. Well, we just go allegedly Kevin Hart. Oh, you're right. We should do it allegedly. Allegedly. I was gonna just say like, like, you know, Kevin Hart definitely beat up PDD's girlfriend with him.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. So so we result we absolve ourself of all Oh, it's a legend guilt if it's just a let I've I've got word allegedly yeah The Kevin Hart and Barack Obama have had case sex that is alleged. I heard that too allegedly hashtag allegedly Kevin Hart did this so let's do hashtag alleged alleged Kevin Hart rumors. There you go. Until he promotes now until he promotes big J big J special. I would say just big J big J at this point.

It's not just your special. You're right Big J is about you as a human being You're gonna get a cease and desist that's gonna be the contact Compton it is gonna sue us. I do a retweet the big J just a Christine Yeah, that's pretty funny thunder of wire a big J just a Christine a big J. Just Hickristan. Um, Kevin Hart, I heard that he allegedly was the cause of Keith Robinson's first stroke. Allegedly, alleged Kevin Hart rumors to Lee for Moats Big J.

Allegedly, Kevin Hart rumors hashtag. Someone's got to make the original one so everyone else can just keep linking on to that one because I'm not going to say the same way way choice alleged Kevin Hart rumors until he promotes big J There you go Until He promotes big J. Yeah, I heard he was in the room with Will Smith when he was getting Cornhole corn, old allegedly or corn hauling corn hauling allegedly. Yeah allegedly. He spit in Will Smith's ass also. So Dwayne

Martin can come in and plow his ass. Good. That was allegedly allegedly. But allegedly Kevin Hart was spitting and Will Smith's ass hole to loop it up for Dwayne Martin allegedly butt fucking Will Smith. That's allegedly. That's alleged will Smith rumors. Uh, tagged on to a legend. Uh, always going to be at the resorts in casino, uh, life. The resorts world theater. Is that where you were the Sweden? No, it's in Vegas. No, I was in a Philadelphia. Uh, did a cool thing, Bobby, you might like comedy, Max might enjoy it. We did the golf. Oh, I thought I was gonna say a threesome. Upper deck golf, those guys came and asked us to come. Well, well They offered us I should say to come do the thing and say take you to a we went to the

Philadelphia Phillies baseball stadium citizens bank park and you hit like golf balls thumbs like top golf But all around the upper deck of the stadium pretty neat. That is pretty. I like top golf a lot I do like that I actually like when people get so drunk they fall off the third rail into the net. No, we see it happen. Yeah, I would kill for that Yeah, dude. They swing these drunk girls swinging high heels and they just fall into a net. Oh That looks crazy though. That's awesome. Yeah, it was really really cool Very, very cool to do just need to make some contact on some of them balls. Really? On your balls, what?

Not on my balls at all, Bobby. Don't say things like that. Allegedly. But allegedly, Kevin Hart sucked my balls a few times when we were younger. Allegedly. Allegedly, though. I don't know for sure.

Right. But allegedly, he did gay stuff to me. If he could just call into the show, we could clear all these rumors up. There's not a chance he will call into the show because I hear allegedly right now, he's in the middle of a gay gang bang. What?

Yeah. Really? I heard the LA Lakers. The whole team? The whole team and the bench, yeah, all of them. The bench, he's doing them, wow. Yeah, taking on the entire bench. I heard, actually, I heard that Shane Gillis and him

are touring together because they're lovers. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly they're touring. They're also having sex. They have a good town. Yeah, they have a big, I will, Jacob. They have a big gate.

It's called the big gay bus. Allegedly. Yeah, but you can only see it. If like in certain light at night, if you see it, it says the big gay bus. I think it's a standing 69 with Shane holding Kevin in the air upside down. Allegedly. With his mouth, with his cock inside of his mouth And then Kevin upside down sucking on Shane's Irish hog

Allegedly Yeah, but that is actually only just allegedly and then and then I heard that he swings down off of it. Yeah, yeah Allegedly and he goes Off of change huge Yeah, no, yeah, tree stump change huge. Yeah, no doubt. That's a vanyour tree stumped cock. Yeah. Allegedly that he has.

Remember, Kev was allegedly a homophobic? Allegedly? Yeah, he's not. He's not. He's into it. Yeah, he's not homophobic allegedly. Allegedly that car accident he got into, that's because he was trying to,

he was trying to go down on the guy in the car with him while he was driving. Driving. He was trying to prove that on the guy in the car with him while he was driving. Yeah. He was trying to prove that he knows the road so well that he could suck off a guy while hitting those mahalin-drived curves. Allegedly. This is all. But that is actually completely allegedly.

Yeah, it's completely allegedly. You know, allegedly, I don't know if you see the picture that Black Luke keeps above his head of the time he got to shake hands with a great Kevin heart. Oh, keeps it prominently right above his head. Oh my god. It was the biggest moment for is the short king moment. He met the ultimate short king. Kevin heart short, short wide king met short king. So, uh, yeah, this is really so professional for Jacob, I didn't understand you you're talking from inside of a robot, I think Jacob, change, Jacob change your chip and plug yourself back into the wall for a couple minutes You're not working correctly BDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBDBD It's Jacob how long would it take to get to Mars if we were going to me and Jay wanted to go there How long would it take ground control of major Jacob?

You know allegedly Kevin Hart peed all over Jacob's computer while he was sleeping Allegedly hashtag alleged Kevin Hart rumors until he promotes Jay big Jay big Jay So you promote to big Jay. Get the hashtag going. Christine, is anybody tweeted you out with the hashtag? Christine, is this thing taken off the way we think it's going to? Any rumor you've heard, I'm pretty sure Kevin Hart was involved in.

Yeah, so just put it out there. Hashtag alleged Kevin Hart rumors until he promotes Big Jay. Allegedly, he was the one that was hooked up with John Travolta in Scientology, their lovers, their Scientology lovers. Allegedly. I should try to read him. I should find it.

The text when I thought I had his number, it's so written in like the, he goes, hey dude, hope balls will. It's just a new special. I know you're probably crazy busy with all the stuff and everything. And you know, you have to do an Elon Musk have to go to space or something. Don't read it.

But I- Please read it. Please read it. If I find it. Mine, I had one of those very recently where I texted somebody famous. Oh man. And you texted that you always throw that, hey man, I know you're crazy busy

So if you don't want to respond to me. I'm not gonna take it personal even though I'm gonna take it fucking very personal Also my my business manager just texted me can you give me a call when you're by yourself? Oh no, man What oh no, what'd you buy nothing? You didn't buy anything no no big purchase Nothing. Didn't you buy anything? No. I'm bored. No big purchase.

Oh, wait a second, I did get a tank. You bought a tank? Yes, but I'm parking it on the street. It's not paying for a lot. You're not supposed to get a tank, dude. We talked about this. A legit Kevin Hart rumors. Let's see.

Kevin, who, this is gonna, I hope this is it. I just texted Keith for a little, he little cab's number. I'm gonna have him give it to me. If he gives it to me, texted Keith for a little Kev's number. I'm gonna have him give it to me. If he gives it to me, we're calling him on the air, yes. Okay, oh yeah, sure. Is this his number? Wait, you asked Keith for it?

Do you have it? No. Keith gave me a wrong number on purpose. He gave me, I know Keith has his number and Keith goes, oh, here's the last one I have for him and he gave me the bunk one that I had already. I know, here's the last one I have for him. And he gave me the bunk one that I had. Oh, I know it's not true. I have one too.

Yeah. I got one. Yeah, I think we called it, didn't we? Yeah, it didn't work. Oh, look at this. I wrote, hey, buddy, how you doing? This shit sucks. Hope you're okay.

Throw it. Been defending you on my show this week. Keep your head up dude What happened in 2017? Oh God, is that Oscars 2017? I'll be Oscars, yeah, yeah, he didn't right back then I wrote how fucking fun of the Sixers nothing. Oh my god Hey buddy nothing really yeah Let's see Let's see oh, I know I said I'm one.

That's makes me sad. I... Shut up. I'm sorry, dude. No, it's fine, don't worry about me. Let's see. Oh, you know, that was 2018. Uh... Did you have a scandal or a cheat on his wife or something?

Yeah. Yeah, allegedly. Allegedly. We all have those allegedly. I think it was there was photo evidence. Okay, right. Here's my last text. Uh, have a this. Uh, he's gonna call in. He said, I'll call me in the evening. Series X7, trying to get him on that, because I guess it didn't work out, I wrote to him. I guess that we were supposed to do.

Good luck with the new movie, brother. Looks hilarious. See you around. Oh, what movie was it? I don't know. Dude, when you can, check out my Netflix half hour. It's called The DeGenerates. He goes, I will watch it today.

I wrote back awesome. He never wrote back. Oh God. Did I wrote back? You get a chance to watch the special yet? I'd love to know what you honestly think What a queen what? Yo, Kev is this your number still I'm in Montreal now. Hey Kev, it's big J this your number Then I wrote it hurts more now if it is your number Can I go well? Can we can we put this to M&M's? Stand yes, Stan. Do we put this to that music please?

This sounds exactly I'm not having full conversations with them. This sounds exactly like it Then just have Christine streaming in the trunk as you jump out you fly off the bridge Yeah, yeah, read it read it over this good your cab some thumb with thing I should go back to the The other one My numbers are all dead for kev wow yeah nothing Yeah, nothing. He's over you too. Read those again. Let me hear him again. Read it. Read it. Just read it. Let's see. It's me talking about something. I forget what I was when Cat Waves and we're fighting I wrote something. Got it.

Let me see, I'm trying to find one that's good. You get too much fun. Oh, I wrote this one thing I wrote to him. Hi, I'm Kev. I don't tell my friend Jay ever when I'm going to be in town. Maybe that fat shit wants to hang out. Oh, wait, I got to text the rock. This is the same song, dude. This is your version of Stan. We have to put this, you have to read all these

other things. Hey buddy, do my comedy central radio show a cluster fest. Don't be a cleaf about it. He goes when do you do it? I go we'll work around your schedule if you'll do it. Nothing ever. High fuck face, LOL. Nothing? Nothing. Really? Why have we not caught up at all? Jesus, how many times can you tell the story to Howard Stern of coming to New York City and be getting and just leave out that I was driving in the car? LOL. He drove him? He wrote back honest mistake. Which is almost like, no, that's not. You know what that is though? Can I be honest with you? Can I be really honest with you?

You scared at that point. No. That's a rookie mistake. It's time for rookie mistake. Brought to you by Snickers. Rookie mistake, Kev. Maybe you just need a Snickers. Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL.

Check out Snickers.com slash NFL to learn more. Back to you, Jay and your sad relationship with Little Kev. You're right to honest mistake, I go, I know buddy, I'm just breaking your balls. I'm bummed I missed you a cluster fest. I just landed in LA from San Fran. I go back to NYC on Saturday. We'll catch up soon.

You doing JFL this year? He says I'll be there. I said cool me too Let's carve out some time the hang oh and do my radio show some time. It's on Comedy Central Radio series XM He goes he wrote for sure. I wrote all right. Love you, buddy. See you soon My radio shows here in in Montréal in the 26th from 6pm to 8pm. Any time in there, please do my radio show, it will be fun. He goes, I will work it out. He didn't. Thank you, dude.

Looking forward to getting the hang a little, I hope. Hey, buddy, can you find that ASAP when you want to come on the radio show next Wednesday in Montreal? It's 6.8pm right at the high end. You can come anytime you want, however long you want. The festival and comedy center want to know. Hey buddy show tomorrow, haven't heard from you. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Oh, poor Stan. Oh, poor Stan. Okay, okay if I'm on stage I'll call you when I get off. Any word buddy? You up at the ass motherfucker, LOL. Okay, well I don't think you're gonna make the radio show then. We're 6-8 live.

Can you do one of my crowd work shows midnight every night through Saturday? He did come here. If you landed six, I'll already be live on air. Six to eight PM. If you want to just come and crash in whenever you get here, you can do that. It's at the Hyatt and soprano room C, nothing. Hey buddy, how you doing? This shit sucks.

Been defending you on the show all week, nothing. How fun are the sixers in green? Hey buddy, and then a phone number. It is so fucking funny. Wow, that's it. He did come to the Kradwark show Montreal. Yeah. Oh, okay. Then everything's fine then. Everything's good. Everything's co-esthetic. What was that? Five years ago. Wow, wow, wow.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, uh, Maybe 2019. Oh. And then he, uh, and then they fill me in the back for his docuseries that came out of that flicks and then they cut me.

Oh, you got cabin. Got cabin. You got cabin again. Got cabin on the cabin heart. Oh, man. Full throttle, nine hour experience, you got cabin. Got cabin. You're cabin. Got cabin on the Kevin Hart. Oh, man. Full throttle nine hour experience. Whatever that was. Man, what a, just that. I looked over at black. Louis had his hand on his heart. Well, allegedly, he's always busy with his head and some guys lap.

Allegedly. Uh, uh, allegedly, Kav got a, was in a complete fuck orgy with all the members of Red Hot Chili Peppers. Him and Chris rock allegedly hashtag it Hashtag alleged Kevin Hart rumors until he promotes big J. Christine was how's that hashtag making out? Is it making the rounds? No, not yet hasn't caught on just yet. It's fine. Are we live we're live This is a pre-record is probably pre-recorded Dear kev I

You know, it's weird. I'm just out ofv, I, you know what's weird? I'm just out of a smell memory of you. Is that crazy? It, they say smells like some of the biggest memories you have had, and I said a smell memory of you. That's not weird, is it? Anyway, sleepin' with that shirt. Feels like you're right here next to me.

Hey, it's just all, Jumanji Part Three. That's pretty crazy. Is the rock really nice as he seems to be? He can't be that big, is he? Anyway, I know when you get this, you'll be wondering myself, but yeah, I'm going to be performing in Cleveland this weekend. Yeah, I know. I know a lot of people will take off Thanksgiving weekend, but I don't have that kind of success.

You know what I mean? I got to make the rounds even on the holiday weekends. Oh, I can go on and on about this, but you're probably busy doing something super famous and great and Emily Radikowski and Richard Geer. But you know, me, still sitting 10th row at the Sixers games, you know what I mean, can't quick get on that court. Pretty fun when I watch you get to good on there and hang out with all the players. Tell the Eagles I said hi.

Do you think the rock told Kevin Hart about Shane Gillis after their workout? Oh, good, good investigation skills. Yeah. He might have been like, oh, this guy's real funny. I know him and then he watched it. That's maybe we gotta go through the rock. We gotta get you friends with the rock

and then you can be friends with your friend. Then you can be with through comedy. I have to be friends with gotta go through the rock. We gotta get your friends with the rock and then you can be friends with your friend that you came up with through comedy. I have to be friends with my friends through the rock. Yeah, you gotta get free. You gotta come friends with somebody who's big that knows him. Right, look how much bigger the rock is in Joe Rogan. That looks hilarious.

Yeah. It looks like Shane is gigantic. I think it's a Joe Rogan too. Yeah. Biggest guy in the room, Shane Gillis. Shane is massive. Yeah, big boy. Big guy, very successful too. I'm glad little kev helps him make more money this weekend

You know what I assume at this point that's good because I'm not sure if the third show at the rhyme in auditorium was selling out just yet Oh, okay, so I'm not sure how fast tickets are moving in his second radio city music called show kev he's doing fine He's doing fine. I'm out of way can you say hey sheaens great also man if you're watching philly comics jay you're boy big jay while you're at it he's killing it nothing nothing well it's no big deal what are you gonna do because allegedly allegedly i heard that on the set of juman g1 that he sexually harassed Jack Black and then paid him and undisclosed amount of money to have him keep quiet.

Because he likes some chubby and he likes some sweaty. Right, allegedly. Allegedly. Hashtag. But not that sweaty, that's why we didn't connect like that. You know, every get sweaty. No, that's why I don't know. I mess with you.

You know, sweaty enough. Yeah, thank you. My apologies. Oh, God. So My apologies. Oh God. So please make that a song. Look, congrats to our friend Shane. Never do anything rooting for Shane, dude. My love Shane, Shane's awesome.

He's great. I agree with everything Kevin said about him. You know, Shane, but throw your boy a look. She, you know, Shane does though. He helps all his friends around him. He really does. He really does.

Yeah, Shane is a help guy. He, I mean, all the friends around him. He really does. He really does. Yeah, Shane is a help guy. He, I mean, all the people around him, he's put on things and put them in things. He's starting to fill it off your migration to Austin, Texas. Yeah, he's really, you know, but little, but little Kev, all the people he with, he has a gang that, all his, the people that he came up with in comedy, right?

The black ones, yes. Right. Spank, Naim, those guys for sure. Right. the people that he came up with in comedy right the black ones yes spank naive those guys for sure i don't know if you'd fit into the kevin heart crew no no no no no no no you like having your thing going on a little more

and not that these guys did it but it's not because it was i didn't go when it was spanking on naive but when i was like at a time where maybe i could have been like what can i be going like the road he was looking for a person at but when I was like at a time where maybe I could have been like, what can I have, let me go on like the road, he was looking for a person at that time. That was like, bring the car around, do this, sell my merch, and I was like, I'm not going to do that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. We were just two together and my ego would have been way too destroyed to do that for us. I'll sell his merch now. now I Hope that the link Oh

I do I guess to get the link look I just got an email from somebody I have his number Should I call it you do yeah, you don't call it because then he's gonna be like why we keep just surprised somebody on the air Why I'll just say hey you're on the air right now That's all you have to do. Okay. Listen, man, I'm team J. Wait a second. This feels like a Bobby thing where.

What the hell's a Bobby thing? It's not Kev's number and you told somebody to play Kevin Hart on the phone. First of all, that is crazy that you think that. What percentage crazy? It's 99%. I'm gonna call it. I'm gonna call it. I'm gonna call.

Here we go. Here we go. You guys hear me now? Yes, kind of. I do hear you now. Is that better? Okay. No, that's hard.

It's terrible again. Crystal clear. Please be careful. I feel sorry. Please be careful. Put his phone on breath to the world if he doesn't. It's 3, 3, 7, 4 you called has a voice mailbox. He doesn't have a set up voice mailbox. That's crap.

I'm sending a message right now. Yo. Yo, little kev, this is Bobby Kelly. You know who I am. Call me back. I need to ask you something very important right now. I know you probably busy. Why does it want to come out? Why does it want to come out? Why does it always want to come out? I know you're probably really busy. I know you're probably really busy. You just did the same thing out. You just stand up. It just comes up

Important right now actually maybe I'm not I'm just Everything stupid don't call back. It's Bobby Kelly, but you don't care. Bye. I just sent it. There you go Yo, hey, look have this is Bobby Kelly. Do you know who I am? Oh shit? I didn't do you know I messed up. I don't it didn't read right that it Bobby I'm adding in right now. Damn it you what is it you know who by the way I am what's going on with Jacob's phone When he's texting he tech he corrected it be texted a thing earlier instead of writing my name it was like a Word that started with an oh that had umlots over the O.

Did everybody else see that at one point? What's an umlot? You know the thing over Motley crew, the two dots. Oh, those are umlots. They call it umlots. I call those things, they're near my asshole, I call them umlots. Oh really?

I call them Motley crew dots. I always have to pick my umlots off in the spring. It's a great word for a ball bag. Could you fucking take care of his umlots? I screw it. Dude, I was supposed to get sucked this cock, but did you get a taste of the Zoom lots while you were down there?

Dude, I was scratching my own lots during that movie. I suck you, my own. I tell you what, that's a movement we can get going for sure. I don't know how the hashtag came out. Christine, the hashtag alleged Kevin Hart rumors until he promotes Big J. No, I think- Is it catching fire?

No, I think people are do you think it's actually there's so many of them going out that your computer can't read it fast enough? That's probably what it is. Okay, that's good. That's good. We look hashtag fake Kevin Hart rumors. Well, yeah, but he's not gonna know that's for us. It's just hashtag fake Kevin Hart rumors. Well, if you're at the end of it, if enough, he's not going to message you back. Well, I just got the number and I just sent him a message so hopefully. Was it good to go through green or blue? Wow, what does that mean?

It's blue. Is that good? What's green? What's green? Green means they either have blocked you or That they have an android or they have an android and I don't think it's got an android Well, I didn't know that that's gonna be an iPhone guy. He's an iPhone guy He probably has both because allegedly. Oh because allegedly No one can trace gay phone calls on an android. Yeah, when you have you can get on grinder

On an android without anybody knowing. Oh you have, you can get on Grindr on an Android without anybody knowing. Oh yeah. Hashtag alleged Kevin Hartroom, which is the most big J. Yeah, I actually, I think he came up with Grindr, him and Ryan Reynolds allegedly came up with that app. So they did.

Yeah. I think when Kevin Hart was seven inches inside of him, the three on the outside is when they had an epiphany, as you would call it. Yeah. He goes, he goes, hey, Ryan, they had an epiphany as you would call it He goes he goes hey Ryan I got an epiphany and Ryan real says we'll get a tissue He's like no, it's not what I mean man. It's man flip fam on my game game And then like this you bad boo boo boo you swipe right next thing you know you fucking apart See you right You're right back

And now he did so I was right. I got nerves. You're a back right?, he did. I got nerves. You were back, right? What do you say? Bobby who? No. Bobby what? I just texted him. Because if Kev's hilarious, he should just promote now only

you're special. That's funny if he calls it. Like, dude, can you please just promote our special real quick on your Twitter? And he does. And he hangs up with never calls. Oh, Kev, because go, oh, Kev, because dude of glory, you reached out to me, dude, it's so funny. What you did to Jay, it really makes me laugh. Would you actually, though, promote my special, I could use a little,

like, Kevvy bump, a little bump, that Kevvy bump. I tell you, that's when I was like, I'm not going to push to do Schultz's podcast ever again when I sent a text saying, uh, I need that Schultzie bump. Yic. Yeah, Schultz, that's a shitty sentence to say. Yic. Yeah, that's a shitty sentence to say. Yic. Yeah. Well, it's disingenuous.

It's not that I don't need the, I mean, I could definitely use the promotion from salty as a huge audience and everything. But I mean, like, that's not how I would talk. That's not how it's, you know, I mean, I just didn't like the, it seemed phony for me. Do you think that little cav, because you're so corporate now is kind of taking a step away from all that shit that we're involved in, you know, like, Like what? Like, you know, cause we, we say crazy shit.

We've, I was in the open Anthony days. He kind of stepped away from that stuff. We've been looking DC young fly. Hmm. You know what I mean? You're at set Simon's articles. Yeah, he agrees with that. So that'd be funny.

Jay, you a Nazi man. I can't hang out with you. Not. Boy, I'm not see. Well, you know those guys get, hey, they have publics is up the ass now. He's a brand. He's not really a comic anymore.

He's a thing. Oh yeah, for sure. So it's like I can't associate with those type of thing. I can only do good morning America type shit and certain things. I can do the black community things, but I can't, you know, he doesn't really go on shit at all. Right?

Nobody has a lot of people on his shit. Yeah, but like, I haven't seen him on anybody's stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. He does, for sure. He told a story about me on a, I don't know. He does, for sure. He told a story about me on some podcast he did. He did.

Yeah, well, it was about me and my ex-girlfriend when I was a teenager doing a couple swap with another couple and how it didn't work out good. So he was telling his boy not to do it. But it's never like, listen, Kev's life has been a whirlwind of shit. So he doesn't look as fondly back on the times I'm sure of that. You know what I mean?

Like it's been so much stuff since then. Like he says, man, remember when we were struggling to like NBA players now, remember when you were a rookie and I was like just new in movies. Yeah. You know, I mean, like that's, you're still struggling to him. That says come up story. Yeah. Me and you are still in the trenches. No, I think you I mean, that's you're still struggling to him. That's has come up story. Yeah, me and you are still in the trenches No, I think you're right about that. He's just kind of like he looks at us the way I look at plenty comics and like when Philly when I see like

Online like Philly comics are people who I started with yeah doing like lower level stuff and you're kind of like oh We just kind of fell out of each other's world and you're like no, dude. I'm known in comedy. You piece of shit of each other's world and you're like, no, dude, I'm known in comedy, you piece of shit. Now I didn't fall off the map you dickhead. I'm just not on your map somehow. I so I texted him. Now let me ask you question. Now can you can tell if you read it or not, correct? If he has on read receipts. Oh, all right. Probably doesn't. Well, he's got it. We have exactly an hour and 40, 50 minutes for him to call in. And hour and 40. Yeah, just about. So I'm saying I'm putting positive vibes out there. I'm going to put it, you might be if I do an affirmation because that's kind of my thing. Well, I know that now yes, you're now that you're a neck remancer, a spellcaster.

Yes, Bobby, please perform your sorcery in the room if you would. Yes, Bobby, please perform your sorcery in the room if you would. The walls of lack and delay now crumble away. May Jay fulfill his destiny and little kev call in before the end of the show. By divine right in a perfect way, the phone call will come J's way and promote his special and millions will follow that are his and divine right in a perfect way. That's it. Thank you. No way.

No, we're going to do not turn that away. Now I have to do it again because Christine just fucked it up. The walls of lack and delay now crumble away. May J fill his destiny and become shoulder to shoulder with the big wigs like Kevin Hart and the rock and make his millions come to him now in a perfect way by divine right and big Jay.

Do we, no matter what, do we commit to every time Jacob comes back on just whether it's perfect or not, we just tell him it's still happening and make him keep rebooting his computer? Yes, 100% there's nothing. And just, and make him keep rebooting his computer. Yes, 100%. There's nothing. And just the whole show is Jacob rebooting his computer.

I mean, it's crazy. He loves a good sound check, and he did not do a lot. It's it. No, when he called, when he popped in, he was talking and sounded absolutely fine. Something with the... Before the show, you mean? Yes.

Before the show, before you came in the room, Jacob popped on, and he was talking, and we heard him completely fine. I just, I got the number from Keith. I'll be honest. I got the number. Give me his number. I sent, he sent the number.

I go, I go, you suck. Give me the real number. He goes, I did. He's not, he lied. He goes, text him dummy. And then he goes, if he doesn't respond, you suck. And then he put the laughing hysterically. I hate him so much.

Should I keep call? I did you call him. Keith said he was calling the check that the number was right that he gave me last time. And then it wasn't. Keith, well, Keith, it's mind boggling to me that somebody who knows you that close, you've taken so many rides. Sure. And Philly's not a short ride.

That's a two hour ride, hour and 45 minute ride. Up and back. Maybe a six hour ride sometimes. 9.11 happened, it was taking us like three hours to go up back. I mean, you spent all that time coming up. Here you are, your star is about to pop. You're about to shoot off into the atmosphere and outer space. You're right there, dude. You're physically, mentally, spiritually

and comically wise, ready to be a star and be a mega star out there in the universe with the rest of them. And meanwhile, Kevin's allegedly getting bucokeyed By the members of the LA galaxy nuts. It's crazy allegedly Alegied Kevin Hart rumors to leave from a big J there you go Well, it's funny because all the teeth Has been sworn to seek receipt for the real number for sure yeah, why didn't push when he gave me the bullshit one? Yeah, I was like oh it's Keith's he's under lock-in key

I guess well, maybe we should go to Wanda. Maybe we should call what about Wanda bump? I don't know Wanda the first the first of my Met Wanda You know what the Wanda bump the first of my Met Wanda I walked in and somebody said the Didn't nick the Apollo in front of he goes. I'd hear about What happened with big J at the club in Philly and nick the Apollo is like yeah,. He goes, uh, you hear about what happened with Big J, the club in Philly, and Nick the Apollo is like, yeah, he called it later in the end word. So what?

And I was like, it's not like the story. It's not exactly the story of Nick. Oh, Jesus. And, uh, and the wand was like, yeah, J, that was it. I was like, you know, she was just meeting me through Keith. That was wild. So she's always been friendly-ish to me, but I don't know why I wanted it like just took Keith's personality and put it in a woman's form and then became hugely successful. Yeah, I'm gonna start to get more pussy than him. Yeah

Did all I heard though that allegedly Kevin Hart's person who turned her gay That is that's the truth. Yeah, he found the backup of pussy There was nowhere else to go. So now she goes outward with it. I actually heard that Kevin Hart has a vagina. Allegedly has a penis. No, he definitely has a vagina.

And a penis. Yes. A penis. Allegedly a penis. God, it's such a big penis. You hear that? I remember his penis. He doesn't remember me.

I remember his penis. You've seen his penis. Oh, he's our penis. It's a lot of dick number of times. I saw it once. That's the other thing. It's not that me and Kev also have these, just the obvious like back and forth grind it out and cut.

We have some funky fucking store, you know what I mean? Like, we have some wild shit. We had a lot of fun, crazy nights hanging out. We, you understand? People don't understand. We hung out at the clubs. we came in from where we until three some of them are Night a week there was no Sunday. There was no day off from about eight at night eight at night until like three in the morning We go play basketball afterwards in the hood. We will go play basketball in the projects We will go to dinner. We go to Chinatown. Were you the other time with the Chinatown

and like the Triads came in? No. Dude, me, Kev, I think Patrice, we went down to, and we took a ride out. Well, that's usually the place, right? And we went in and the Triads came in. Let's do it like an eye patch. And then we were being too loud

and we shut the fuck up. I've never seen Patrice just shut his fat body. Yeah, you know, you got to ride. And then we dropped the kid, one of the young comics off and he just threw up in a barrel in front of a West Forest Street. Jesus. So I was like, I see you guys later.

Yeah. And we just started laughing at him. We had some good nights. Well, look, the good news is. That's the one distance from. Yeah, it's the one distance from. Look, no matter what, this is a big night for him. I know Kevin Hartz filled off your eagles,

have a huge gain tonight against the Chief Super Bowl rematch. I heard him. So he's probably flying on a jet or riding an actual eagle to the game. Just claws him on the shoulder. If he's flying in an eagle. But isn't he a cowboy fan? No, black Lou fan footage of him or a picture of him

that he posted himself Kevin years ago that was it shows him as a kid in a full Cowboys outfit. Yeah. Now his father was a junkie and his mom probably didn't really give a shit who was a fan of but that's not that's not Ph, dude. No, that's not Philly. No. Keith also a Cowboys fan, not very Philly. No. You can see God made him pay for that. Yeah. And but he's also stupid. Who Keith is? Keith is. Yeah, for sure. Um, but yeah. So, Kev, but now he said, you know, something, he was a, he was a Giants fan, but now he's a now he's an equal. So that's a soldier who he is right out of the gate. A turn. Yes, that's right. He forgot about Jay.

I think I got Shane Gillis. Yeah, because it's a Shane Gillis fan. He's a Shane Gillis fan. A big fan. What do you say about Shane Gillis again? That's right. Bring it up one more time, Christine. Can you bring it up one more time?

What did I say? Wow. Shane Gillis is the real deal watching your special really funny good writer and great comic. No dispute. We know. That's true. If Shane could read, he would love this.

That's hilarious. I like that son. Someone is what a great special I walked in. I said, wow, what a great. Wow, what a great special. Wow, what a great special. I mean, Shane is hands down. One of the funniest guys out there right no doubt look as I love these things Go back up has to this has to break big Geo Kristen's heart. We still love you Jay

Hate the new blue check system on Twitter. Why cuz does me not does mean anything? I mean hey dollars a month for Twitter. Um, yeah, no, listen. Shane Gilson, Kevin Hart movie. What about dog belly, by Big Joe, cause he's other Philly dude who I'm sure you've heard of before. I just gotta text back. I just gotta text.

Tarrington by the way. I just gotta text. I just got a text. New phone, who does? No, on set, text me. I don't know what to say i'm getting nervous he's texty i got bubbles i got bubbles i got bubbles i got bubbles i got bubbles i got text bubbles this is crazy i'll say i'm not free until nine or ten

what do i say i'm gonna say right now listen bro i love you kev no i'm going to soft i guess stay hard hard got him hard got him say ask him if he's read the comments under His name give us post I'm gonna say yo You know I do a you Fuck I'm bad at this guys. All right. I got it. I got it. Right? Let me take a breath. Hello, mr. Hart. Here we go Yo little Kev now, go on Twitter and promote Big J Special. That's all right.

Yo, little kev, I love you so much. All the work, nope, nope, nope, nope. That was a good phrase. It takes so long. It really does. Kev, I hope you're bothering you. I got it. God, you've been doing so great.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. No, it's not taking over. It takes over, it's not taking over. Yo, little ke God, you've been doing so great. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. No, it's not taking over. It takes over. It's not taking over. Yo, little kev, you got to go on Twitter right now and promote my special.

It's called Killbox. It's on. Don't do that. Don't do that. Hang on, hang on. We got this. We got this. We got it.

Yo, dude. Listen, bro. Go on Twitter in your captain's chair right now while you're going over your lines and do a shout out to Big J Special. And throw a link in. Throw a link in. Send me the link. Send me the link. Send me the link. Send me the link.

Christine, for the love of God, send me the link. Good. Why can't you give a shout out to a guy you actually started commenting with Big Jokeerson instead of clout chasing. Bro, go on Twitter and your cat, I know, wait, nope, that doesn't make sense. Well, I gotta spell check this.

Okay, now do Big Jokeerson. By the way, it's right there, Christine. Hey, guys. Do you see Christine, the, someone put the special right there. The bottom comment. Very proud of you. You're doing so, nope, that's not, Christine. Hey, man. Do you see Christine, someone put the special right there, the bottom comment. Very proud of you. You're doing so. Nope, that's not,

I'm kidding, sorry. He knows, he knows you're proud of him. All right, here we go. Big, here we go. Boom. I'm getting this done, dude. This is, this is, look. Bro, I'm sitting with Big J.

He's very sad that you promoted Shane Gillis a special and not his. Before mine. Before his. He's very sad that you promoted Shane Gillis is special and not his before mine before his Shane doesn't need A lot of help from you No, don't say that that's why he thinks I'm a loser. No, he's gonna be like you need this is good I'm sitting with big J. He's very sad that you you promoted Not his

What You don't like that. Let me change that. Let me change that It bummed him out bummed him out bummed him out bummed him out good Christine. He's Bummed out bummed out I'm gonna you do you think you Promoted Promoted Shangulous is special yes, and not his shame doesn't need your help from any help from you Big J needs a lot of help

from you. We all love you. No. I want to say it. Why don't we want him to be my friend? From you. He's so famous. He's so famous. Saw the preview for your new movie. It looks so funny. Dude, you're texting Kevin fucking heart right now, dude. Do you have Kevin heart's number? Hang on. Send it to me, I wanna put it. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. What do I say at the end? I don't know how to end things, you know that, guys.

I'm not good at the ending, I'm good at the middle. I have to reread it. Okay, ready? And we're on the SF word. Okay, bro, I'm sitting with Big J, he's bombed out, you promoted Shane's, Gilles' special and not his. Shane doesn't need any help from you. big J needs a lot of help from you

you can lie and said you watched it link we both love you and a very no what do we say love you little calf love you little calves do the right thing bitch no love you little calf do the right thing we love you even though you didn't promote either of our specials yeah by the way I got a special to it's on punchup dot live but it's up to you Send I'm gonna set it you mind g3 tell me I got some nice alleged rumors, but the said it whatever he's on right now Don't tell me Don't tell the rumors thing yet though. I'm not gonna tell the rumors. No, don't you gonna freak him out? I'm not. I'm not oh god. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking it. Wait wait wait wait Okay, okay, I gotta make sure I didn't move

Okay, I got I got here we go Yeah, do you remember that friend who always starts his stories by this one time I was on the road with Kevin his name is big J. Erson He has many specials This one time I was the road Kevin. He says kev. Thank you. Yeah, I just take care of This one time I was the road Kevin. He says kev thank you. Yeah, I just take care of She needs a big space. I'm gonna say how do I end it? Love you kev, right? What's up to you? Well, I got a special too It's I'm touching up that life. What's up to you? Love you kev I don't see I I text I sent it. I just burned a bridge wait. What is it? Say it again. Oh, no, no, no

It's pretty funny. Here we go. Ready bro. I'm saying doesn't need your help. I just burned a bridge. Wait, what is it? Say it again. Oh, no, no, no. It's pretty funny. Here we go. Ready? Bro, I'm saying it doesn't need your help. I'm sitting with big J. I'm sitting with, I'm sitting with big J. He's, he's bummed out. You promoted Shane Gillis, especially, not his. Shane doesn't need any help from you. Big J needs a lot of help from you. Link, you can lie and say you watched it. Love you, little kev. do the right thing. By the way, I got a special too. It's on punchup.live, but it's up to you. Love you, kev.

I wrote, love you twice. Okay, love you twice. Yeah, and I wrote, I know I love you twice. Love you, love you, love you. Don't. My favorite shame doesn't need any help. There you go. I mean, that's little kev.

That's a little kev all day long. What if he just promotes my special? It just could be funny. Fucking hilarious. Should I write don't just promote my special? No, I don't say like that. I'm kidding. That was a little sneaky Good good good good good. What if he totally crazy would it be funny as shit if like he promotes my special? Remember the day we used to both said the ball be so fun if you just promote it's my special like over and over again And not jays like now. It's funny if you don't do jays at all but do mine a lot. All right on set I'm not free until 9 or 10 yeah that's where we're at my there you go. What about big juggers and is he funny too?

Everything just my whole thing just went green is that that bad? What do you mean the text thread went green? Let me see that. No, I'm kidding Damn it. You have no improv skill whatsoever. If I can't still do you? JJ shut me down. He yes, no let me see Yes, no wait, no dude. I can't wait to hear that That's great. Look at someone the comments a picture of me Oh wait, he just said something back. Oh She it's audio. It's audio, it's audio. We can't play it on air.

Why? Cause it's, we don't have permission. You know, what if he says he's doing gay stuff right now? Yeah. Oh, no, I can read it. It's Apple came up with a new thing. I didn't know Big J had a special. I only watched Shane's special because somebody had it

on when I was in the room. I was like, oh, this is funny. I don't know what I don't know. Who? Who? Wow, this is a lot. He just wrote a lot. I don't know. I didn't know big J had a special. I can read this, right? Yeah. I just read all the, well I was mostly me. Yeah, I think you can. Okay. I didn't, this is a ledgely little calf. Is that better? I can be making this up.

Yeah. Can you put it on the stand song for me while I read this? Yes, I know. This is the end of your song, your stand song. Yeah. Right, this is the end of your song, your stand song. Yeah. Right. Yeah, ready? Yeah.

Which kid sends me two 8 by 10s autographed? Yo, big J. I didn't know you had a special. I only watched Shane's special because somebody had it on when I was in the room. I was like, oh, this is funny. I don't know what I don't know. Who would be big, be hurt or feel some type of way at big dad hit me and say, Kev, need a favor? Can you pump up a push or promote? I will do it for him in a heartbeat. You can assume that I know

stuff that I have no idea about that doesn't make sense So when I whether I watch it or not I will still help helping my friends But tell him to send me a message not hard hard hard to the same way You just called and sent this one assumption is the goddamn enemy of all you assume that means you never know Is correct the correct side of it is I don't know Tell him Kevin tell him Keith Robinson gave me a fake number form. I did send him I messaged him in every possible way How wait who else we we also reached out to his manager

We went to a couple different ways manager Manager to manager, a couple different things. Say Keith, say Keith wouldn't give him the right. Keith wouldn't give him your real number. Keith wouldn't give J your real number. That's the facts. Oh shit, I didn't know that. Wait, no, I'm just gonna say Keith wouldn't give J. I know, but I just wanna be friends with him, Christine.

I don't know what happens. You freaking out. I want a famous friends Keith gave him the wrong number on purpose on purpose I drew up a whole thing the text to him You did text him right yeah, he texted you a whole thing Keep gave me a wrong number on purpose, but never heard back from you Keep sabotaging me I

Can't believe he came but he he he didn't read he't read it. He's not funny anymore. Wait, look at this tweet, wait, is this fake? What was that? No, someone made that. That's pretty great. I'm gonna reach with this. That's awesome. My big J, my big J is the real deal.

Watching your special Keith gave him the wrong number on purpose. He texted Bobby tell him that we're on the radio alive right now We're laughing about it. We're not like not giving him shit, but you know, dude promote my special Do What do I say? How do I say? We're just fucking around we love shame We're just fucking around we We love shame. We're just fucking around. We love shame. No, no, no. What? That promote my special for sure. I never got any message from just Jay. No, because Keith gave me the wrong number. I wrote that. I'm telling me we're fucking around. We're on the radio.

Dude, how do I say that? You're just fucking around. We're on the radio live, you can tell. We're just fucking around. We're on the radio. Live. We love you. But promoter's special. Oh, how can I put this? Congrats on all your success. I'm gonna pickip see this weekend. Congrats on all your success. I'm gonna pick up see this weekend. Congrats on our success. I'm gonna pick up see this weekend.

Yeah, and Jason Cleveland. And Jason Cleveland. Not at the football stadium. Not at five serve stadium. I think we got to take a commercial break bobby we have to take a break we have to we'll be right back with uh... now that the the bridge has been completely burned no cresevans no san and no snake pit no kevin heart

everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual serious xm radio show if you want the whole thing go to serious xiusXM.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo