The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Stiff Lady Syndrome

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Mike Finoia co-hosts as he and Jay ask the callers- what songs are truly adult contemporary? Mike has a new special out on YouTube called "Don't Let Me Down."

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. I know there's my cheers true Me and Mike used to do that all the time we lived together.

80s voice true this is the sound of my soul this is the sound that's the look the look of love I don't know the answer to that question This is the sound To my soul

This is the sound I thought I was the party Oh Let's just do music all the hour. We own it all here serious pillow time. They can't tell us this place a fucking ghost town We are unchecked unchecked J. Yesterday only got the last for about 10 minutes Joe's name is gonna be like 20 minutes late We're gonna dig in dude. We're gonna watch so much gay porn We're gonna talk about so many pedophile hunts. It was so great.

We were gonna take calls that went nowhere. Just call it only if you have nowhere to go. Jacob would have given me all kinds of fucking rappy fingers. We never got there. True. I wanna hear the. La-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo.

Here we go, ready. I wanna hear the... La-ma-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu you think they're playing state fairs yeah I'll argue there's a very strong chance they don't even own this song I saw them play they're from England right I'd have to assume yeah true or whatever Finland wherever they were coming from it also be a Dutch or something yeah in Iceland 10 years ago they were still playing big state uh big crowds no way also turn up again for a second Lou. Yeah, this is it right here The bonfire Confire It's faction talk 103 serious XM big jail person sitting in for the great Robert Kelly We have the hilarious America's amigo everybody's puncher Mike Mike for no you house Oh my gosh. That's true. True. True.

How many people in hotel rooms next to us were like, what are these two gays doing in there? We would just run around hotels and sing 80s pop rock, 80s pop rock, haircut 100. Yeah. I've never been yelled at for that. Actually, a long time ago, I was listening to music over the phone with a girl.

And I was really singing. In fact, I remember the song that it was that got me nailed was that we played it before the John Sikata. I, I, the one who sang, I the one who fired that. And then I just, he liked that and I just hear like the Then the phone rang and it was like that. Could you please stop? Please stop singing John Sikata Please stop singing John

Can you please stop singing John Sikata? There's that too Do make you last forever Why do I have to tell you? This would be Pacho Mike's walkout song Maybe it will this week Fucking drug-rug-d Woooow Fucking button fly pants

Look at that G-g-g-g-g-g A guess watch Colin, you know what? That's a fun one Me and Mikey love music It's the day before Thanksgiving

866-966-91969. What? Tell me an adult, an undeniable adult contemporary song. An undeniable. And if you give me a garbage one, I'm gonna tell you it sucks. Yeah, don't tell me. This ain't one of them. To make you stay together. Why do I have to tell you?

This guy sound like he's 80. Dude, when you find a song in your register and you could just belt it from like the fucking bottom of your toes, it nothing feels better. Oh my god, did I do so much dancing in the shower? Forget singing. Dancing. Yeah.

And I'm working out routines. I've been on it the phone lines are highlighting also if you're a girl you can call in and make yourself comp yeah also unchecked everybody unchecked I love to hear adult into undeniably good adult contemporary Dalkin temporary songs. How you remind me? For sure. Sure. I mean, this is a Dalkin temporary too. You know, that's a really argue a Bon Jovi with me. And I grew up loving Bon Jovi,

but the adult contemporary years. Like I'll be there for you. Is that an adult contemporary? No, Mike, that song's fantastic. Shut up. That's why I don't have a problem with it. No, Mike, that song's fantastic, shut up. That's why, I don't have a problem with it. No, they started getting a little contemporary in... Bed of roses.

Yeah, bed of roses right there, and that album more. That song almost something they would have done when he was younger, but it got, and after that it started being, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. It's my life.

It now only is. I've got an L.A.S.A.S song full of broken hearted. Boom, boom, boom, boom. That's what plays when you're taking a leak at the John Bon Jovi rest stop. Sure. Yeah. He has one, doesn't he? Yeah.

For sure. Jersey really does take care of their own as it relates to naming rest stops. I think he gave Howard Stern one at one point. Now this song, each shit. This is seriously like. Black Lou, are you being in the data with calls right now? Whitney Houston just got one near me. Whitney Houston just called you?

No, no, she just got a rest stop. Whitney Houston's got a rest stop near me. It's got a shake shack. It's fucking badass. Wouldn't it be funny if they like the most? I'm gonna go rip a shit over the the Whitney Houston John Bon Jovi rest that we're gonna get tar over it and see how many people a day running there holding their asshole No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, guys live on a prayer, huh? Yeah, Jesus. Oh, we're halfway there

Shut up, you people Jacob. It's the show. You're out of your mind. You're being crazy right now Lua the phone lines are crazy for people with Sometimes a thing Mikey, do you love that Jersey hoodie? Um, fuck. Yeah. You didn't mean it? No. I love it.

I like it. Well, can you go back up? I kind of like that, uh, that like, varsity jacket right there is kind of cool. Everyone does, dude. It's a princess tie jacket. So that in minutes. Yeah.

Yeah. I would never wear it, but it's a whole thing. I don't like how the sleeves go to, like it's like three quarter weird, is that like that weird leather? I don't know. I don't like how that looked, the gray. Do you put yacht rock in adult Contenpo?

Like, yes. Yes, but let's get rid of yacht. Let's take yacht rock out of it. Like what's love got to do with it? Would you call that adult Contempo, Tina Turner? It's, yes. Yes, but it's not what I mean. What about Brian Adams' heaven?

But Brian Adams was like a rock, he didn't make a adult Contemperary song but came an adult Contemperary song. What about everything I do, I do it for you. Is that an adult Contempo song? Yes, that's an adult Contemperary song So everything is almost more still your songs your mom's Yeah, it's a monster ball. It's about it's about it. It's good. I know you're right everything I do I do for you is contemporary adult contemporary and it sucks ball. Yeah, it's Kevin Costner in the rain

Music from a movie. There's another great one, Deniable. Hop in thinking about you. Hop in thinking about you. That's so sarcastic. Do you know how to do your wrong? You're wrong about that. Hop in thinking about you. Oh yeah. What about love is a wonderful thing. Who sings that? Michael McDonald or Michael McDonald's. Michael McDonald's. Michael Boulton. Yeah, it's Michael Boulton. Yeah, it's Michael Boulton. Oh, there's a one who's been here. Yeah. I just want to sing a single one.

I can sing a song. I can't believe I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I love, I'll be your bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom Is that... Kid, do I get tempo? I don't know, that's... I can't get that in my head right now because I got this much... Truly mad, baby! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, and the beatbox. Dude, I love this song at the end when he goes, I feel so confused. What can I do? A dope contemporary. What's a good one, Jacob? What truly madly deeply be one? Hmm. Truly madly deeply. It's awful. Yeah, that sucks

Jiver fuck right off did you but she's so high while that is also falls into beta rock I love it I never heard beta rock before what's that fake? Oh, we did a whole thing me and so did a whole thing I'm that years ago. No, not beta rock songs that that are just like, I kiss and worship your feet on, but piece of shit in your beautiful and smart. And I'm so dumb and ugly. I'm a stupid piece of shit. Why would you even look at me? I'm so fucked up rock.

Yes, I get it now. Classic, fancy. But this song, we're EBS. Oh, she's so cool. What is this from like Jersey term pike or something? Like, is that the movie? Like exit like some dumb like oh this is definitely while they're going looking for the girl Yeah, they're shopping for her date in the 90s. Yeah, Road Trip to find the girl to not watch the porn The girl who's unconventionally attractive right right and like she's got a nerdy friend that has a crush on her

But he's like too nerdy to talk about it Yeah Ah that is one band Mike before you say something you're gonna regret taking I Balled at their concert I'm right next to J. Lou running to Christine at their concert. Right next to DJ Lou. Right next to Christine. Is he saying about a song about like two weeks after my grandma died or something? Yeah, that was brutal.

Well, that's just timing. No, but it's a song before that. What do you mean? I wouldn't have cried before that. Would you cry now if you heard it? Or was it just because live? I love it. Probably, dude.

Do you remember when your grandma made us those amazing sandwiches? Yes. She's such a beautiful woman horned beef sandwiches She didn't know who we were by this. She didn't even know who we were by the end dude That she's back in the atlas It's in this dan just like the poor man's maroon five kind of no no their maroon five their maroon five for your aunt Maroon five was for your sister. This is for the asexual lesbian. Ah yes They're great. Love. I'll do Keith Auntie Dennis

Dennis trained that too Also matchbox 20. Oh, yeah, whole cat adult Contempo. Yes. Oh, Ralph's Folk it all about it. They just came out with adulthood. It doesn't say when you become when you come out of the gates, an adult contemporary band is pretty crazy. Sometimes the sun goes around the moon. You went and saved the best for last. Yeah, that would be,'s a that's a dull Contemporary. That's like the real shitty version of Vanessa Williams. Mm-hmm. Remember she was Miss America first black Miss America, I think. Then she showed her beaver and pen house and then they took the crown from her.

Next thing is she's boxing screech. I love it when they fucking hit this. It's just box screech like a horse shack Three doors down is a dope contemporary they never The only people that say they rock and roll are fat ginger women is that Superman is that Crypt night. Yeah, that's the worst yell after a yeah That's the worst yell after a yeah It sucks the goo goo dolls did rock and then they became

Strictly adult content. What about the bear naked ladies? Is that adult Contempo? Remember that stupid song. Yes, it is what was that song if I had a million dollars or phone lines lighting up Lou with you with their ideas. They are. Oh, I think you're being sarcastic. No Lose not put names to them or maybe I can't see them you are screen doesn't have no I can I can't hear what they're saying I've got a reboot so I'll be back okay I want to just take them blindly you know what's taking blind all right oh man I got one that's gonna go ahead seven five seven area code you're on the air you're on the bonfire. North Carolina. North Carolina.

North Cacalac. What's your name, dude? Sean. Sean, what's up, Sean? You got a good adult contemporary song? I got, I think I got a perfect guy. And then, in a particular song, Seal Crazy.

Seal Crazy is adult contemporary. He was always just adult contemporary. That's literally like a real thing. He never appealed adult contemporary. That's literally that. He never appealed the teenager. He appealed to me, the teenager. You know what it was? You also know he's adult contemporary because his videos were only on VH1. Oh yeah, this beginning too. Deep snip, that's VH1.

That was the only VH1. That's the adult content. So why not though? That's a fucking David Lynch. I'm show crow. Cheryl Crow's adult contemporary. Yeah. Dude, do you remember this dude?

Is David Lynch Cheryl Crow's adult contempt. Oh, yeah, yeah, dude, let's do this David Lynch talk It says he'll say in bad not us Damn jg if you were in the room right now that I would be body-grinding on you hard be body-grinding on you hard. Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah,

gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, g adult can tell you can I tell you before you bring up the next up caller a song that would probably land in a dark and dark it's the tempo but always made me cry always made me cry for some that's what friends are for keep smiling I don't know if I call that a dark contemporary that was like that's novelty rock when they started to say everyone would just mash together to do something unnecessary Dion warwick I think was in that Elton John that made you cry.

This is fun. At the end when he goes, yeah. I'm an ascensive guy. I was a sensitive kid. You know what? It's what it brings you back to. This, when I, this is what I was packing up and having to move back in with my dad.

This song came on, I think. I don't even love it. I know if you're crying about the song. I don't want to go. It could have been fucking. This one's a part at the moon. I would have been crying when I would get in a lot of fights in school They put us the people who got in fights a lot they put us in one of our classes was like it was definitely an anger management I guess and then we had to perform a concert. I thought it's where they found out this one kid had a voice of an angel when he sang What was the rose bit midler's the Rose but uh what the fuck are you

serious yeah black fucking teenager it was uh they did it your school yeah the same do you tell the other and mine was uh one of the ones I remember was that's what friends were for and when yeah I know uh uh all the times if we hear a pop well just close your eyes I know all the words but it is to me does not bring on tears. It just makes me laugh It's saying like this is what they made all the bad kids. It's like the sheriff Joe up hell who like it is prisoners Like I make them all wear pink like ladies. I take away the manhood. It's like just right there That's why I thought it was like like put on a dress and dance It's so weird that they made fighters to you musical like music things. That's a fucked up. Hey, Quantavius sing bit midler

Did you like singing or did you think it was awful? Yeah, look I know I had a gift you do you yeah, you're like do I have to okay? I'll go first a little bit a little bit of okay I guess about now public now public singing Okay, I guess about now public now public singing Until Sure your gift I mean this is adult contemporary. This is fucking yeah like adult At the end of the song a thuggy black kid will come out and go the very last line is and in the spring and when the sun comes in the spring becomes the rules. He takes off his backwards bandana.

I'm telling you, he may have been dressed like Chris Cross, like wearing a backwards jersey in pants. It was definitely around that time. He was wearing a backwards tuxedo. So I'm saying love. So weird when like a fighting kid is great at singing. And my town, all of the best roller skaters were the toughest kids. Like at roller haven. Really?

The kids that smoke butts and fought and shit. Also, we're great on the fun. I mean, just backwards, four wheel roller skating. Like elegant, beautiful. I can't even get in them. I mean, I can get in them, but I can't even get in them. I mean I can get in them But I can't stand on roller skates never happened once. Did you have roller a roller rink in your town that birthday parties? We're at rad in the rolls. It was a little out of the way we were right in this like the city west foot

Euphia so no not right there, but like 20-minute driver so away rad in her PA rad in the rolls was the place we had rolling Joey Lawrence used to hang out there Really yeah, whoa your rack Mike. I believe your action was Some say love who else we got throw us one low Erie code 580 you're on the air you're on with the bonfire pull up a tree stump sit down and tell your tail What's your name? Hello. Amy. Hi Amy.

So I listen to you guys a lot and it just cracks me up because I used to be in radio a thousand years ago. We forced satellite radio showtap. Where? My last in Dallas at KVIL and I hosted love songs with Amy Allen. What? All the songs. Yes. All the songs you're mentioning

people would wait on hold forever so i could record them doing a love song and dedication to their love or to their mom or something like that but the one song that stood out the most to me was i knew you were waiting by a rita franklin oh yeah yeah and when the sun goes down by Aretha Franklin. Oh yeah. Yeah. And when the sun goes down,

there to me. That's a great love song. Wow. Did you ever, do you remember any, like, in particular requests, like, were there any proposals or any type of, like, crazy calls that you got? So I was so fortunate I had a call screener. So the crazy crazy has never made it into me because I had an engineer that kind of screened everything.

And would kind of ask questions to see, is this going to be a weird thing where the guy's going to go on the air and do something stupid? We never played any of them live. They were all recorded. So that made it safe too. But I did have one that was really weird. Like the guy calls and he tells our

screener that he's going to propose to his girlfriend. He wants to do it on the radio. I can't remember the song, but I just remember it sounding really weird the way he did it. Almost like he is like when I remember even playing it on the air thinking he had a friend dare him do this. There is not a woman in this guy's life. He just sounded really weird and he was so nervous like his voice was jittery and I was just like there's a song you requested you don't remember I can't remember it was a thing off keeler I got a little change in my pocket going in a lane

the fabulous thunderbirds yeah I was like Georgia Saddles sorry sorry I'm sorry the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that best radio gig I ever have the best one was working for a rock station west Palm Beach those were the crazy what years were what years are we talking so when I worked in KVIL it was early 90s like 94 95 96 right to be in rock radio what a aquan Aquanette. Who would you get molested by? The DevTones? No, no. In fact, I was very, very cautious when I was in radio because they were weird as everywhere. So when I left the radio, I did mornings. The last show I did was a morning show, a Mian Brian in a tiny little market, market 247.

Did you meet you Brian? I'm trying to get some drawing in the story. Did you meet you by him trying to get some drama the story did you meet you brine uh... well in fact that little five nugget on that story was i found out brine was making more than me and i had a degree in journalism i come from uh... great radio background coming from Dallas and when i found out brine was making more than me i went to the g m

and he said well br Brian's got a wife and kid. I thought he was gonna be like yeah he's a man. Because he had to pay more than me that's bullshit. You didn't need you he had more overhead than you. Yeah did you have any had did you dump did you dump that partner? Yeah he ended up leaving and uh... i ended up getting another more than so partner and finally i left radio because you know what radio back then you think about

radio in the nineties really about people get pre-concert tickets and that hell yeah what you have some thoughts to do amie can you still talk up a song uh... i don't know what i was saying you said, you did love song radio. I wanted to hear your radio voice for that. Because I remember like, listen, Delilah could be a monstrous pig for all I know, but I just picked you're a beautiful strawberry blonde woman sitting in the end style barefoot.

She could be drowning in puppies while she's like, she's not necessarily hot. She's just like very sexy and earthy and she just goes Yes, this is going out. Oh, she's going out to Lance right now. She's like I have a vision of love Try it and I'll try to do it with I knew you were waiting. Okay. I knew you're waiting I'm gonna try Well, she will she me able to hear the song? Yes. Shall we be okay? I want to make sure it's because she needs to be sure. You have the song?

Yeah, of course. We have every song. A series XM. All right. Wait, wait, wait. Can you tell her how many seconds still to post? Yeah, I need to know the ramp. Yeah, give her another ramp.

The ramp. A fuck, Lou. Bad. I've never dealt with a ramp before. Dustin off those cleats. Wow. Lou. That's a week?

Yeah. No, this is not your fault. This is all Lou, Amy. Lou's not prepared for regular radio. He's used to this for shit. Okay. 38 seconds to ramp. Oh nice. Okay. So you might want to give some weather. So let's hear about some traffic and weather today on the day before Thanksgiving. All right, here we go, Amy. What's going on at night westbound? traffic and weather today on the day before Thanksgiving. Here we go Amy. What's going on on that westbound? Tonight we've got Tom calling in to tell us how much he left Carroll and he is so ready to marry him.

So he's here to tell you that he is waiting for you. He knows you're waiting for him too and here he is George Michael with a Rita Franklin on KVIL. Oh that was good. That was perfect. That was good. And here he is George Michael with the Rita Franklin on KVIL. Oh, that was, that was good. That was perfect. That was good. I did hit that post.

I jicked it. Dude, yeah you do. You did hit the post. That was pretty good. You got it in your blood, man. Do you have a husband Amy that was super annoyed with your DJ bullshit? Uh, yeah, because my radio name is a me alan and his name is steve so people used to say that he's a valentine

he buggin a that i mean and he drove for ups for thirty six years and his joke to everybody was she just married me for the insurance because back then and radio it's up to get insurance yeah still is right he's gonna write i mean he has the best insurance he's a teamster so back then in radio, we have the time to get insurance. Yeah, still is. I'm trying to write. He's trying to write. I mean, he has the best insurance.

He's a teamster. So yeah, I married him for the insurance and it's been great, you know, 401k. We're retired now and live in Florida. Talk about something, something I'd never learned about. I heard my whole life and never still quite understand is the concept of union and teamsters. And I was the teamsters, like, mean people

that killed Jimmy, a guy named Jimmy Hoffa. I don't know anything about it. Who you bought scrambleers from. For digital cable. Here's the one thing people don't know about teamsters is they are working hard to protect the work in man and I know that sounds very cliche. But the teamsters are the reason why kids don't work in sweatshops anymore in the United States that you have to be 16 to have a job. Oh, it's the air phone? You can't work on your 13. Yeah.

That's why Air Force 1s are 300. I got busted with an iPhone factory in my garage. Yeah, but also they protect workers because the union are the ones that like you guys got you got people building cars people need jobs in those towns where those factories are and they'll take anything and the union is there to protect and make sure they get a living wage and a safe working environment. So this is George Michael and Aretha Franklin with I knew you were waiting for me. Amy, thank you so much for the call. No, no, no, happy Thanksgiving.

I have a great Thanksgiving to y'all too. Thank you so much. I like how people who live in the South say insurance. Insurance. Insurance. Insurance. And Zamy Allen coming at you right now with some hits. Tom, you want to get married or something?

Nothing's worse when they ramp over the first lyrics of a song, or if they, some songs have such a great lead up. Yeah. Well, that was a good, she hit it on the part that still instrumental, but it was the pickup. Yeah, but even on a rock channel though, you got to be careful because now you're cutting into the beginning of work and man,

or you're cutting into the beginning of work in man Or you're cutting into the beginning of uh dude? When I have for teacher why the college radio I did a talk up up until lyrics for shining you crazy diamond part one through five You read the old man in the sea basically I go any who I don't know man just lot things going on in life I don't know man just lot things going on in life Oh, I missed it they start singing one song anyway. This is a big jailker said remember I talked into it You did a talk up to that's great. It's 25 minutes of music It's like a 10 to 15 minute ramp. I think it's, I think it's like 13 something minutes

before a little bit. It definitely is. Before a little bit. On a pulse at least on the live one. Now talk about adult contento. Pink Floyd had, would you consider like learning to fly? They made, they didn't, they made adult contemporary music for sure, but it's still, always had,

but yeah, if I'm gonna throw Bon Joven there, they had, they hit an adult contemporary phase, but their music was always so much more complicated than that. Of course, yeah. So I give them a little bit of a pass, for sure. Amy Grant, baby, baby, that's not a bad one. We did, baby. It's not a good song, I hate it.

I love it. Any George Michael or Sting slaps, I will say George Michael, for sure, Sting sure sting I like us all Amy Grant is just a police Yeah, the police are great. I love the police Amy Grant stinks. Yeah, she looks like a hot friend of my mom's though that that's what the girl Janine who showed us Weekend in Philly Christine my mom's friend. She looked like her when she was younger I really I imagine this is chick's hair when they orgasm is just that. Oh, Christine, my mom's friend. She looked like her when she was younger. I imagine this is what chicks hear when the orgasm is just that.

Oh yeah, feel good music. Right. Wilson Phillips. He liked the beginning of Blossom. It's so adult contemporary also hits though. On a real level, it hits young girls, young like eight. Prey. And then when they turn about 12, 13,

they're gonna start finding their own like, the girl who's like punky or slutty or the Madonna of the time or whatever. Like the Avril Lavigne or the pink or something like that. This kind of music strikes a young girl though. Yeah, I like Jamie Grant when I was like a kid. It's the fucking, this is what my little pony fart sounds like. That's wrong, man.

Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. It's what it is. It just sounds like. Yeah. What about that? You gotta be bad.

You gotta be bold. You gotta be positive. Completely. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Yeah, what was her name? That was a very Chapman. No, that wasn't Tracy Chapman. No Tracy Chapman is the dull contemporary Desiree. No, no, we sang at Trace Demons at dull contemporary

Challenge what or you're saying this is Tracy Chapman I'm saying that song is Tracy Chapman No, it's desert wrong. You are wrong. One hit wonder Desiree. You gotta be No, she also sang the love theme in Bosnian's Romeo and Juliet kissing you She also sang the love theme in Bosnian Romeo and Juliet kissing you Chris, you have us through this full child your face. I'm just saying it's a very popular, too It's not a popular to it is popular. Just not with you. It's not popular It's popular if you like Romeo and Juliet. Okay. It's popular with the people who like a movie That's not a lot quite the following did Mulan Rouge as well and Gatsby

Fucking anybody else in here anybody else in here know this other song by Desiree? No, do you of your heart. Oh man, she's a dull contemporary. Unbreak my heart. You Tony Braxton. Tony Braxton is totally a dull contemporary for sure. Hey, has your Spotify ever taken a left while fucking and it lands on this weird shit and then your rhythms get all wacky do? No. Because I went down an R&B phase for a minute. It was called like a fucking R&B. Yeah, baby make It was called like that. Fucking the R&B. Yeah, baby make just for fun, just a goof around. But it was like, it was called the baby making playlist.

Yeah. And some of this shit got in there and it threw off my hips and all types of weird shit. I laughed myself out of like, fucking anymore. Yeah, I don't want that to happen. Sergio Mendes. Sure.

I mean, sure. I'll give him that. Let's take another call. Who do we got, Lou? Erie Codes, 7, 7, 3. You're on the game. Boy meets girl waiting for a start of fall for sure, but that's going to be an 80s music, though.

I love it. Love that song, but I wouldn't call it dull contemporary. Wait it for a start of fall. Wait it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it Beautiful We'll take one more call Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, go ahead Perfect like 80s 90s adult contemporary song was that like walks the dinosaur you were saying like eight year olds that love it And they turn 12 and then they're not Remember the name of the band Mike ten dollars right now if you remember don't you say he knows it Was not was that was not was not was boom boom

I don't know if I call this is a Contento. It was yeah, this was just like Ladies because these are things. It's like this is the same genres. Whatever ghost busters Yeah, you know, it's on the cusp of this too is even like fine young cannibals is that adult Contempo Cuz they were adult Contemper. Yeah, but if you made a radio station with this song that would come on it Yeah, spin doctors is a Dalcontempo always yeah If you listen to a blues travel for sure you it's a song if you put it on when you were eight Nine ten years old cranking it your parents wouldn't be like, turn down that racket. No, they go, turn it up.

They'd be like, who's that? It's dentist waiting room music. Yeah, before the movie comes on, music. Yeah. Well, I don't know if they still do it, but why would a music? Yeah, when I was in Usher, like Dion Warwick would always be on, and that was my door. You were in Usher, you used to take people to their seats?

No, I used to smoke cigarettes in the back of the movie, but did you used to do the Jimmy fund cup? Uh, unicef, which I stole from in the elevator when I was bringing in the results. Oh, you stole from the staff. You stole from the staff? No, no, it wasn't getting them anyway, dude. Yeah, right. Somebody else's hand would be looking at you.

It wasn't getting those whatever that goes to is. You would smoke cigarettes in the movie theater? Sure did. Christine, mine your business Blue your rad don't you listen anybody else here? Never catch anybody finger banging or jerking off in the popcorn and stuff No, but today anybody catch you finger banging jerking off in the popcorn. It was 1991 through 1992 Yes, so I would walk into certain movies when I knew sex scenes were coming

But I don't think I ever had the balls to jerk off. Really? If you did, if you got caught, would you just blame your twin brother? That was him. I feel like he can caught jerkin' off in 91 or 92 as like a teenager. Probably wasn't that big of a deal. Huge deal, I'd say. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you, R.A. just similar, am I, right? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so I don't know what the difference was but I at no point in time In high school outside of your friends you would make the jokes and everything with your friends But there was no like overall admission Socially it was around like people that you jerked off In fact everyone would try to deny it vehemently

because you were like, I don't have, because your thing was, I don't have to do that. I don't have to do that. Totally. We had a friend Dave who got caught jerking off and for the rest of his life his nickname was pop off. Oh, why don't you watch him finish? You didn't stop him.

No, I just want to run. I don't want to rush him. I'll wait a second. And you go, okay, he's done. I'm gonna Dave. I'll wait you go and you go, okay, he said I'm going to ring the bell now. Bing, bong. Hey, bud. There was a kid that was jerking off in the driveway of a girl's house. And she picked him up and threw him in the trash can while his pants were still down.

And she was like stuck in the trash can. How big was his girl? How small was his girl? She was older than him. And they were like middle school high school Like he was just standing in a car. Well, is he a teensy kid or something? Yeah, and she was a big girl. Yeah Really, yeah, she's like the older sister of someone my age, but yeah My cousins friend who is a big big girl started fucking like my cousins

Little brother my it's my cousin also, but her little brother's friend, when it was probably, she was like 20 and he was probably like 15 or 16. Oh yeah. Just because it was like somebody wanted to fuck her. And it's just funny, this kid was like super pimply faced and everything. And like goofy looking kid for sure.

I think he actually ended up being like not a bad looking kid ultimately, but he was young. He was like 15, 16 and also like immature seeming. Sure. You know what I mean? And like this girl just talk about a situation where you're like, this is all wrong. But she's so happy to be catching dick.

This kid, even though she's, I mean a human, I mean, she was gigantic, big, big girl. Oh really? And he would just be like, you know, if he asked him like, dude, are you doing that? He'd be like, yeah. Like he was, he was a little puny kid. He was so funny. That's great. But just he was so happy. She was so happy. Probably illegal, I guess. I guess. Yeah. But I mean, he was all in. That's great. He's done. He's like, you want some now and later?

I might have those numbers wrong. It may be like 2016 even, but still 15 or 18, even, but still not legal, but I'm just saying, I don't think it was so. Like when we all heard it, we weren't like, are you out of your fucking tree? Everyone was kind of like, that's weird. Cause usually girls don't fuck backwards. Well, that much, especially, you know what I mean? That's what I, I was, my girlfriend was either 17 or eight.

And I was 15. Yeah. That was the first time and it was awful. I mean So yeah, that was the first time and it was awful. I mean, it was terrible. Yeah, it was so bad. Why, because you didn't get any references from right before when you were born? No, no, no.

That's like, what's not an O-mean? What's not an O-mean? I was just in a plank. Like, I was just stupid. It was terrible, but she was older. It was Super Bowl Sunday. 95. 95, yeah. It was terrible, but she was older. It was Super Bowl Sunday, 95, 95. Yeah. I lost my brother.

I did. I was older than me too, but she was a total deadhead. That's so funny, man. She had the, she had the bear. Yeah, she had the bear tattoos like going around her ankle. I didn't get any of it. I didn't understand any of it. I feel like she hand rolled you an American spirit. Is that your kid? Go play with the devil sticks while I shower.

Yeah, I definitely had the pet or a guana It was like the skin would flake off on me. I hate that and then I would fuck her to the To the forest gump soundtrack disc 2 usually whatever one had running on And I would put that on loud and fuck her while her Oh, runny, you know, and empty, and I would put that on loud and fuck her while her Nazi father actual Nazi. Yeah, yeah, I mean like no, I guess not a card can remember the party's defunct But I mean he had had memorabilia. He had Hitler stuff around the house

Yeah, like a swastika flag. I gotta give him a living room It looked like when you went into the bedroom in American's 3x remember you started taking it all down. Yeah She said it was more it's like that's sort of like his like displaying museum-y's more thing but you're like I mean you could also have a Cleveland Brown second flag you know you can also hang that why not put a huddle on the family picture maybe something like a clamor shot of your wife I mean it's like a flag in the living room too. It was pretty wild and I love to choose the rebellious dead head

He did not care for the Jews. He made that pretty clear a few times, but I was dude Great adventure your few times, but I was dude. I went with them to create adventure, six flags. Yeah. I went there with that family. I had dinner at their house many times. And my mom would always be like, isn't it bothering you? Like, do you hear him say this stuff? I go, no, no, no, I kind of take it in and I go, man, it's fucked up. I should say something is or I cannot say anything and go, Jewishow his daughter upstairs and I'm giving her the first person I've had sex with It's everything everything pumping fast. I'm coming fast. I'm fucking again Yeah, I mean let's go again. Let's go right away again. Yeah, yeah, can we do more of that? Feel like a gun again now everything we could have done to besmirch this guy

We did. Then we go, she had a sister who was stillborn, I think. And they have a grave, though, for her. And she took me one time to the cemetery to go see the thing. And then we went on some place in the cemetery and fucked in the cemetery. Whoa. Yeah.

So that guy got the business. Yeah, he wasn't a Nazi in the sense that he couldn't actively do anything. You just a dude. He said that was flag in the stupid little thing. He's flag and probably have zero contact with his daughter. I love that his daughter is probably now like a life coach slash dog washer. Nurse, the best of my knowledge. I don't know if she's on any social media or anything. I've really lost touch with her many, many years ago. So she was how much older?

Five years it's great 20 yeah 17 22 is like a young guy because we both were raised by chicks You know, and it's cool to find like a couple of dinghy bros. Yeah a couple of ding baths That fucking the light but one that likes you that you could bang and you tell me about it You're like bum and marble lights. Trick-and-old snapples in her car. Oh, that girl though, she would have greats, I mean, if she remembered, she would have great stories of like, because it was everything all at once. It wasn't like I was blowing a bunch of times, made out with a ton of girls, like none

of it. Like made out once or twice and like barely probably not tongues even. Oh wow. Just like open, oh, oh. You don't know what to do with this, huh? Remember your first like heavy tongue kisser girl? That's weird.

I had a chick that I was like, whoa. I'm like, what are you doing? You looking for your keys? Yeah, settle down, worthless. I'm like, what are you, fuck it? It's like the lady in Kingpin. Give me a Beethoven tongue. Seriously, dude.

It's like a seal having a seizure. No, she, um, yeah, she was a couple years when I was in where I was at, and telling you that. But she, uh, everything all at once. Yeah, it was everything I want. So she has probably so many funny stories of like me laughing or like, you that, but she, uh, everything all at once. Yeah, it was everything I want. Like she did it. So she has probably so many funny stories of like me laughing or like, you know, her putting my dick in her mouth the first time you go, oh, what is this? Like it was like everything.

Do you know what I mean? Because you know, we just stopped making out heavy for the first time. And you're like, okay, that's like making out. That's pretty. Oh God. Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my me right through it. Yeah. Oh, that's incredible, dude. What it gets? What she said, she was doing it for. She had a boyfriend. She had a, she was being actively still at 22 years old,

molested by her uncle. She live with next door to me. There's a busy chick. She's got a lot going on. For her to make time for a modern chick. I want point is it not molestingesting just like a relationship you have? I don't know. When you want it.

I think if you don't want it. Like 20G, you could get out of the house lady. That's crazy, man. She had a boyfriend and an uncle that she was fucking. And you. And she was teaching you everything. Yes, and then she did great. And then it was like she said, like the words, where I'm teaching you to get you,

like I want you to be out there like confident. Why are you so not confident? Yeah. She was your Keith. And then I was like, I met someone, I met this girl, that was, we just graduated high school, and I was like, I met this chick, and like, we're like dating now, and she was so sad. She was like so upset and angry because she lost her

protege then she had to go by a I thought I was giving her great news. I was home as a but I'm so like out of it. Like I didn't know what's going to happen. I don't know a good end with this girl, but I was calling. Yeah, it worked like you did. Give me confidence. I asked out this girl. She said, yes, she's like my girlfriend. I'm like, we should fucking celebrate.

We should celebrate fuck. She's been waiting for you. Wait, what? Please don't, what? That is hilarious. I think we did not celebrate fuck, but I think we fucked one more time. Then pick that girl up to go to a barbecue at my uncle's house. Really?

Yeah. Right after fucking. You called her uncle from a pay phone. She called her uncle from a pay phone. Huh? She called her uncle from a pay phone She's like you around dude. I brought the new girl and The girl I lost my Virginia to do my uncle Tommy's house for barbecue uncle Tommy's house. Let's just say this the same house where the the big fat lady in And the brothers friend were having the, this is the same household.

Okay. It's great. Yeah. And it was like a lawless society to some degree. You know what I mean? Boat in the front yard. On, on, on, on, center box. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And this is not like a fucking yacht, you know. No. And there's bees in the boat. Yeah. Morbidly obese white DJs doing all the parties and stuff. Wow. But I brought her to that. Yeah, a lot of missing and not good teeth above ground pool. But it ruled what I was young. It's even is them when you're a kid. But I told my, I told my uncle Tommy what was kind of going on. I go, I got the one girl that I lost my opportunity

to her. I'm fucking like, like she's so upset. And I was bringing her here with the other one that's here is whatever. And she was, I hadn't made a mistake. I was one of the brags so much that she was Miss Belmar. That's the neighborhood. Just the neighborhood the medical Tommy lived in. Okay.

She was Miss Belmar. She won the beauty contest of Belmar New Jersey. I mean, you know, two New Jersey. I mean, you know Two square mile. I mean it's one of those ones in one the main highway you drive past the whole town in right five seconds You know, I mean and She was Miss Belmars and I told them that dude that became The white trash thing of the whole fucking like yo Miss Belmars We didn't just and just sh shading on her sort of not on her

But like make it fun of her pussy thing. They all picked her up one time against her will and act like they were thrown the above ground pool I had to physically hold her by the ways like hurting her It's no no no no no please don't think guys please stop Meanwhile fucking a hippie-dippy No, no dude. Meanwhile, fucking a hippie-dippy, Garland knows my virginity too. She's climbing trees, she's making new friends, she's the bell of the ball, they all loved her.

She's friendshipy. She's friendshipin' your cousin. She's like, I'm lookin' for a new fucking. She brought her uncle. That's amazing, dude. I remember I asked a girl who was a grade above me. She was the first girl that really just had huge tits. And I told her that I liked her

so I could play with her tits. And we had an activity bus. We had an activity bus. That's what they called the after school bus that like if you did student council or like practice for a sport, you would get the activity bus home. And I asked her if she wanted to take it home with me.

And I sat against the window and she sat in my lap and I just held her boobs like I held them outside her shirt almost like someone was like hold these and I just sat like this for like 40 minutes to be past my house past her house and I just sat there with just a baby just a throbber tucked into my pants and I just held her boobs, and it was the greatest. Like I was like, I hope this bus never... I have at least this bus just drives to heaven. I don't even know to do more.

I have at least... It's a fun time. I have at least two just holding boob stores. Like that's all that happened. It was holding some boob, skipping school with this girl Carly. She would let me just reach up her shirt and hold her boobs. We'd lay like chest to back. And I would just hold her boobs

and we'd like listen to music or whatever. But it was just like friends, clothes, clothes. Very weird. And then my friend, Kristen, who lived top of my block, my buddy John that had updating her for a little bit, which she came over my grandma's house one time and whatever coercion I used or said the right things or she just wanted to. Maybe she was because like I feel like I thought something was gonna happen. That's why I wanted to go there with her. No one was home yet and she took off her shirt and her broaders took them off and just sitting there and she had monster cans. How old were you?

15. And she was about the same age? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Monster cans. But I wasn't unattracted to her. It was just the situation. It was hard to explain.

That was an older I can almost explain it better. It was too much. What are you gonna do? It was just too, too much. Yeah, I didn't. I was like, well, I don't know how to fuck that. I don't even know if I was thinking that far. I just didn't even know where to go from there.

Well, you don't just walk, like, didn't you just walk up and go like, oh, neat. Did I remember she pulled her titties out and she sat there. And then she must have asked if she could lay on top of me or something. Because I don't know what I would ask that for. That seems weird, but I laid on my back, which is on the floor.

Like nothing behind your head, everything. It's just like so rigid. Yeah. And she just laid, and I remember her tits were like, you know, smashed up to her chin. Right. While she's sitting over me, we didn't kiss or anything. And she just, I remember even doing like the putting

like her stray hair, some of her ponytail back behind her ear. Like, what do we do now? And I was like, I think my grandma's gonna be home really soon. You gotta go. And I made like, I think my grandma was gonna be home really soon. You gotta go. And I made her put her stuff on. It was so weird. Oh my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my dearest, my de I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny.

I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny.

I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny.

I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was like, funny. I was naive, but I don't think so. And I'm not saying that it didn't happen. A couple girls had my friend Jamie, like who's one of my, you know, my oldest friends and Philly got pregnant in high school, like for sure, senior.

Yeah, I mean, we had a couple of those, but it was not like, but some people got pregnant. Some people just weren't fucking at all. Right. We're like, a boyfriend for a long time. Do you know what I mean? Like, click the click maybe. We're fucking a little bit with it,

but I don't think all of them were. No. Now I think it's just like Expected all of us eating and anal and I heard like a lot of kids are like anal so they don't get that's like they're a form of birth control I like that Greeks I like like the Europeans, but yeah, no, I don't think There he goes. I'm pregnant. He goes well., I only butt-fucked you. So move on to the next one. Should I have it a butt baby? It ain't bad.

It was a turd-covered in spunk. I think freshmen sophomore year of high school was iffy, there weren't that many, but it seems like by around 16 most people were. And most people were losing their virginity before high school. Well, before high school? You're eight years from high school

over so that's a different sense. I think now it's just like everything else where everything's like porn wasn't Yeah, it's just but I Wonder if I said I always the two things that I always wonder if I can go back in time smoking pot earlier in my life Seeing if that would have been made things awesomer or worse, and the access to pornography in the way it was. You have to go to addiction therapy. I tell you it's very possible.

I tell you how. I may have never eaten and just jerked myself thin. Never had sex or just with your computer like this. I have to be in my room. Did I ever tell you about how like my buddy had a Jeep and we bought a CD with audio tracks, like 400 audio tracks and we would pull up, he had a PA in his Jeep and we would pull up to red lights

and like play like dogfarts and people screaming and we'd have just a fuck with other cars. And then one day I was going through the tracks and I realized there was a track of a chick moaning so I took the CD home and that was how I would beat for a while was I would put on the chick moaning on repeat and look at my... No, no. And look at like Shauna Sand and Carmen Electra and my playboy and I'd like move the page

to make it feel like it was all a weird, I'd need an audible stimulation to fucking to crank. I fucked couch pillows before like the seam of them like the but hole where the two cushions meet the base The fucking star dude little diamond. No, just a little diamond, you know You know the fucking the cushions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the base of the thing it's a little but hole dude. It's a little couch But hole the couch poop you But hold it's a little couch but hold

It's the bunch a little felt poopers coming out of there. I think my step while there's furniture too Daff dude. I never fucked furniture. I don't think That couch all that poor couch couch was just like I gave that couch the bitch you load in the cat would you like just? Crank into the couch, So before I was coming, as before I was shooting actual batch when I did that. Because by the time I was like 13 or 14 early, I was going out there too, too much. Does see my dad that much, but like,

no, that's when I was younger and I would, I found my dad's mag stash, and I'd go fuck the couch to it. And then in those magazines he had some foreign magazine so he had penetration and come shots and shit so I was like well something's supposed to be coming out of here so I would jerk off until I felt the sensation of coming but nothing comes out and then I would just like whizz a little bit on the couch cushion and then just flip the couch cushion

over it was monstrous whizz on the couch yeah over. It was monstrous. With his on the couch. Yeah. What a weird thing to do. I thought that's what his coming was. I used to push down before I knew how to jerk. I would just push down as hard as I could on the tip. Like, and just almost like that. Yeah, I would like bend it until I felt like it was gonna snap in half, but that felt so good.

Louis, did you and your brother, did wanna be realized at first and say something to the other one? No. You, did you and your brother, like, did one of you realize it first and say something to the other one? No. You just kept it to yourself. You guys shared a room, right? Was that a thing like when he first came, you felt like it, like,

you know, like twins know each other's pain and love? Pretty sure I was more advanced than him, but I had my own room and that's why. He didn't have his own room. No, he was with my other brother. So I was jerking off the Jenna Jackson videos pretty early on. Yeah, and then he had to have somebody else in his room. Which one to him?

Black cat. That was my favorite. That was a good, good. Because you can see your bra, right? That's all it took. White shirt, bra, black stretch pants. I remember black cat. Song sucks shit.

The video was pretty great. That's what happens when an adult contemporary tries to do rock and roll hard. Yeah. That's just still my favorite thing. I've showed you that video so many times like either fucking Celine Dion. Oh God.

And then I'm doing shook me all night long. And she comes out in her pants suit when she's like giving like the hump in the air. She's a wilds of fire-ass machine. She's kept a monoprene. She seems like she has a fucking stroke. She's like, I remember the first time it actually jerked and worked. I was on the phone with a

chick from school and I was just like playing, just stepping around and then all of a sudden I was like, I'm gonna do a little homework, I'm gonna play a little stegogin' genus, I'm I go on a minute hang on I was like All over my favorite t-shirt and I threw the shirt out cuz I was scared You were scared what it was gonna get pregnant. Yeah, I didn't want my mom. Oh, yes turn this up, please After she and I was gonna break I don't think did uh Mike show some respect, dude I

Mean her whole catalogs adult This is a dope picture But she is don't contemporary this Fear walls or fire? Afraid? Oh right there She does the angus young walk Please put this in, that is my favorite She's got fucking uh onty hands

She really does This is humiliating for everyone. She's got she rolled her eyes This chick's actually hot, but she was short-lived. I forget her name even even Jamie Presley Jamie Presley this is clearly a ph1 concert live oh it's divas live for sure yeah damn dude who is that and is it's her name you can look it up by for it. So to see I think

Right there That's my favorite part. You get to your balls. Yeah, she points up in the air and does like the She never stops like air guitaring and pumping her fucking little bone snatch This concert was brought to you by summer's Eve. I bet if you knocked on her pussy you'd hear like a dense sound I better pussy. I better pelvic bone is right by the you'd hear like a dense sound. I bet her pussy I bet her pelvic bone is right by the thing. You look at like an empty casket Yeah, it's like hitting fucking Mahogany She's so skinny dude her pussy lips are probably really pronounced. Yeah, like fucking Homer Simpson lips Yik Yik

It's going on a stacey on a stacey. I wasn't with a see it. Meredith Brooks who sings bitch is on guitar though hate the world day Well that guy see that guy sings that Dave cool. Yeah My god, this song is so humiliating but she RIP at least she was having fun I mean she's alive, but she can't move you say RIP who can't explain Dion she has that stiff lady syndrome where she like RIP who came? She came to slain Dion. She has that stiff lady syndrome where she lays down. What the fuck is that? Stiff lady syndrome?

Yeah. Did you see it goes? You can't, all right. Stiff lady. Stiff lady. I know. Stiff lady. RIP, Celine's career.

Does she have awakenings? Stiff lady syndrome. The shoe. The stiff person syndrome. That's a real thing. Is that a wakeings? Is that what a wakeings is? She can astral travel.

All right, we got to. I know. we have to get break we're hanging out Mike Fenoy a Robert Kelly's at Robert Kelly live though for all of his dates it's gonna be in Daniel Beach soon what a fun room so soon December 15th and 16th after that Fort Wayne Indiana that's gonna be for New Year's Eve only two shows one night Sarah Toga Springs also with Concent coming up Robert Kelly Mikey, Fenoya has a special out.

It's called Don't Let Me Down Until YouTube.com slash at Mike Fenoya. On New Year's Eve, Mike's going to be headlining comics, oh comics, oh he can sun, nice. Partickets and all tour dates of course go to Mike Fenoya, F-I-N-O-I-A, Mike Fenoya.com and follow at Mike Fenoya on socials. I'm going to be in Cleveland this weekend, Mike Fenoy is going to be with me there. Yeah, but that's this Friday and Saturday four shows only. Mike, do I have to do Legion of Skanks in the middle of the day? Yes, that sucks shit. Yep, when the dolphins are on.

Yeah, after that, I'm going to be in Houston. Also with Mike, Providence, Rhode Island, Pittsburgh, New Year's Eve for Tickets and All Tordids. Go to bigjcomedy.com. We'll be right back. It's... Bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcommy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates. Coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo Right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you.