The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Straight From The Horse's Mouth (feat. Jessica Kirson)

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

Dan tells the gang about the new Lifetime holiday movie “Feliz Navi-Dad” starring Mario Lopez & Jay expresses his fascination of The Wendy Williams Show. Christine, Dan and Jay discuss how the bullied can become the bullies. Jessica Kirson joined the show and talked about her therapy session with a horse.

You're listening to Comedy Central! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Okerson. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM.

Hi, this is Jacob and welcome to the Bond Fire's Best of the Week. The boys were back from their Thanksgiving break. Dan told the crew that he kicked off the holiday season by watching the new Mario Lopez Lifetime movie, Felice Navidad. Enjoy. Katie and I got stoned and we were looking at TV guide and it said Felice Navidad and we're like what is this about and it was starring Mario Lopez so I said the text to Jacob I was like hey you got to keep this Mario Lopez movie

man I watch we're gonna you know this is a good segue into the Mike Tyson Roy Jones junior fight but it made me not like Mario Lopez. I watched at least Navidad, and I was like, this is the biggest waste of time I've ever spent in my life. It should make you not like I found him particularly on the on the Tyson thing to be. He is a frozen face fucking robot weirdo. Watch him act, dude also i've heard i've heard the light yeah people i have people have encountered him he's like uh he is like a bow talks faced like just he just he has no emotion well you would love to know that in the in the lifetime movie police now he dead there's a scene

where his wife is dead obviously because women who watch lifetime can't handle the fact that divorces real now so is why it's a bit of that that yeah yet so she's got to be worse for the child yet and the child believe it yet the child leaves right her daughter's like what not going to have the mallet some christmas and then i can run away and then he does this thing

where as she walks out he just puts his arm up on the side of the door frame and looks at the picture Jacob do you know what I'm talking about oh yeah and he looks at a picture of him in his dead wife and he goes I miss her every day and you're like dude it is one of the funniest acting moves I've ever seen in my life he just pivots right into an arm on the door frame looking at it we're like who told you that who directed this? Can I give Katie some credit? When we, I was at Dan's, this was last year, we were watching the Alice in the page movie. Yeah.

And we were trying to figure out who the killer was gonna be in the movie. And Dan and I started going off, like I think it's gonna turn out to be the husband. And she stopped us, like a stage and said, no, lifetime will never leave a woman without a husband. He's so true. He's dead on.

I don't know. It was not the husband, he was the perfect husband and he was the perfect husband. That's a first face worse than death. There's not being without a man on that. So I have learned, I have learned by sitting and watching these lifetime movies with Katie that they have in the lifetime universe. Number one, it's always from a woman's perspective and you, and you don't

understand it. Like we were watching the wire and we're like, if this was a lifetime movie, it'd be all from that strippers perspective and she would be right and everybody else would be wrong. And then number two, they completely put all of their value in a man loving you. That's like all of their value is like, well you're nobody if a man doesn't love you. And that's why AC Slater just as is Felicia now be dad, as a widowed dad falls in love with a girl who is a 10 and probably wouldn't. It's like, honey, I have to go to work right now recording. I have to do loops for hotel rooms for hotel room televisions.

I feel like he's going to haunt me the rest of my life just to get on that room. Hey, it's Mario Lopez here. Why don't you guys go down to O'Hula hands right down there on the bar, open the toilet. It's OAM. It's OAM. It's OAM. When you turn on your TV in a hotel room,

it's just extra. And he goes, you might not have seen this one, but theaters are popping with the new Michael B. Jordan movie. Well, well, well, well. Play that trailer, Lopez. Yeah, I want to, Jay, I mean, I would not, I would tell no one to watch Jordan movie. Well, I'm not about that one. Play that trailer. I'm very low. I'm very low. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer.

Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer.

Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer.

Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that trailer. Play that? I'm gonna go. They're just like pronounce something over the top. They'd be like, Oh, burrito. And you're like, stop, guys, stop. We get it. You're Mexican and she's white. Yeah. He goes, yes, I am hungry. I'll go grab us and see if we have some fresh toy. Hey, dude, it's exactly what they do. They make tamales. They make tamales. And they're like, you're gonna have the white woman make tamales. They're called tam're called I bet he chokes women really hard when he fucks. I bet Mario Lopez is just some there's some luck cuz he's too willing to be

On record is a cheese dick fuck this guy's done nothing cool Yeah, but they're asked you right there has to be a darkness dude He grips were where like girls that come with the girlfriend's next day like no he was hot it was great but like he gets a little fucking rough actually yeah what do you mean rough it's nothing it's nothing but like like you really like I feel like I was going out a couple of you see this and they go what that mark that was him they go oh my god you have to you have to call somebody Oh, no, it was fine. I go everything was great except No, it's a little weird. Let me you let me wear home his base side letterman jacket

All right, okay, I get mad. He can't eat a couple of like Over and over rib shots sometimes, but then I have to stop and really Yeah, I'm gonna take even this kid fucking wall. like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, while he's choking me his post coil talk is all celebrities birthdays and where you can see him and you know he goes big blockbuster hits right at your fingertips. You know he goes big blockbuster hits at your fingertips 599 or you can get a package of you can do Dunkirk in 1917 for the combined price of eight dollars. You guys you've got to walk like that now just hit the menu button on your remote. You order Dunkirk.

Oh fuck I'm gonna fucking lose you. Right there from the button on your remote. You order Dunkirk. Oh, fuck, I'm gonna fucking leave you. Right there, from the comfort of your own. Oh, tell me. That's his cake, knowing that people are ordering movies. Yeah, you're gonna order that over-priced movie? He goes, yeah, he goes, yeah, you're gonna get the grooves. You're gonna get the grooves. Yeah.

Yeah. The grooves. While Dan celebrated the holiday season with Lifetime Channel Cheer, Jay explained that he spent his break watching his new favorite TV show, The Wendy Williams Show. But was extremely disturbed by Wendy's treatment of her celebrity guest chef, Nikki Dinky. Thank you. Did I tell you this yet, Dan? That I record now daily Wendy Williams, and I just watch her opening thing. It's the worst thing on television. And she, the Thanksgiving, I watched the Thanksgiving, Nikki, Dinky appearance.

Nikki, Dinky. Treat her like shit right again. Treat her as exactly the same shitty. Dude, bring it, bring on the dink. Let's bring the dink on the show, dude. We got to get the dink in the show, for sure. We get the dink in the rink. Let's go, man on the show, dude. We gotta get the tank in the show for sure. We get the dick in the, get the dick in the rank. Let's go, man.

I'm sorry, she's got a time. She's got that, what do you call that? When you love your abuser, she's Stockholm syndrome. She has, yeah, she has to acknowledge that. It's like, she could be kinder, I guess, but it's only in her tone. She says all right. When he's stressed out right now, it's like Nikki dinky baby Jacob and the crew are here to take care of you sweet sweet

I've ever seen someone that's just dating someone that's fucking miserable and you love the person the person you know You love but the person they're dating is just a fucking wet blanket and you just got Yeah, too. Yeah, you watch him You watch him kind of just keep staring ahead and they're like, uh-huh, well, we're having fun, isn't that right, Mark? He's like, shut up, you stupid bitch. And she's like, okay, well, we're just going through a lot right now.

It just looks like such an abusive relationship. Dude, what is the, it's such a weird episode. It's pretty dark, but the episode were Quagmire's sister on Family Guy's to get by our boyfriend. Yeah. But dark, but the episode were Quagmire's sister on Family Guys. Yeah. You got to buy her boyfriend. Yeah. But dude, some of the reasons why he goes

and they have him beat, it's just a funny, it's so shitting, it's so funny. You know, I think it's the random reason. It's something, oh, you know, it's like, you know, I like my briefs folded front out. It's like something like crazy like that. Like he's getting her for it. She always talks to Nikki with a mouth full of food. Jacob, Jacob zero respects for her. Jacob, can we do it?

Jacob, but we get back into studio. Can we do a thing where every time we have a guest, you are eating and you're talking to them with your mouth full of food? Oh, Jacob, your question always has to come from a mouth full of food. Yeah, it's going like. Oh, insulting. Yeah, but you have any questions, ask. We go to Jacobs goes, yeah, real quick. Um, sorry. Um, when you all that, yeah, you, yeah, you were in that movie. You go, how long did that?

How long did I take to film? Have you tried these hard boy eggs from Cafe Metro? They're perfect. Yeah, Jacob, we're going to have to find what food you like to eat best while talking to people. So we can always buy it from Cafe Metro downstairs. I like you to be biting into like some sort of a protein bar. I'm really taking that. You're just trying to get your protein and you can do this anytime you want but you just yeah we gotta go

sorry you gonna start with because I need my protein now you're recording ours but yeah because can't let the blood show drop so I got this blessed bar real quick you win into your role sorry I'm sorry I'm in training So Jake and Jake and I just give a quick recommendation of something that might be better is Any sort of nut that he can shake in his hand and eat while they're talking Absolutely, yeah, pop up anybody. Oh, yeah, that's crazy 100% some cashews. We'll let Jacob, you know, we'll let you pick.

Alman's just a nice Alman. Honey roasted pizza. He's right. He's right. He's not going to eat those. No, I know Jacob's thing. He's not going to eat honey roasted peanuts. But taking a just a jostling hand and everyone's

a lot of just doing like that. You go, so we go. You think you want to be an Like, just to flip into the middle. You go, so, we go, dude, when I, you think you wanna be an actor when you first got in the game, you were just doing that as a fuck then. When I worked at the Canary in Alaska and I was like 19 years old in the Doc Boss, had zero respect for me.

I just remember him eating like that and being like, how what can we find for you to do today? It's like that kind of thing. And I was like, I feel like a little boy. It's so disrespectful. So, Mr. Ford, how are you? Different friends, good Jones for definitely different Indiana Jones, you different regarding Henry. Honestly, Jacob, I'd be willing to come in for interviews with celebrities that I don't get

to fucks about just to watch you. If you promise to eat during the questions, if that becomes our thing, dude, that Jacob just eats ask questions. There's two days left. I can't wait. I'll warn you. Jacob, I'll come in for any early interview

if you promise. I don't even, I do keys for Sutherland. No problem. You need me to be in at 645. Let's do it. Let me stop by and get some Mr. P. Nuts for you. You just always just mean. Daniel do straight up interview. Be funny with him. Well, there are a thing, but you are just constantly disarray. The stick in his ass. Always going to be that one of these producers is disrespecting me

for some reason. He's she'd deniro cop plans her every time she's on. Nikki, you need a full sandwich. Jacob, this clip, this clip is not going to get any better for you. First of all, I got to say when me and Christine watch Wendy Williams do her hot topics, her opening things she does sitting down with this small audience, I have to tell you, it's my, it really is, we have a, we have a great show, Dan, an engaging, fantastic show here because that is, it's so much dead air and nothing, it's bizarre. It's such, I watch it every day. Yeah, she's captivating. So it's like, it's weird, because you're like, it really, we're like, we watching this woman's only fans right now.

But you're just like, fucking, you're like, I'm just gonna keep watching. Like, what the fuck is this lady gonna say? I mean, I'm like a fan. She's like a Franken chick and she just sits there and she goes, a bow-wow ain't had no hit and forever. And bow-wow talking a bunch of nonsense now,

saying to talk about the old school rap and saying he got nothing. But naughty by nature, LL, come on now. Okay, now Rob Kardashian just said, it's like this thing's all over the place. It makes a face and they cut to her producer and then cut to her making another face. Her gay producer just said,

I don't know if you guys are doing a pretty good job of selling the show. I got a good one. Let me tell you something. Watch it. Her gay producer, I DVR it every day. Her gay producer just nervously laughs through his teeth and everything she says. She goes, and we don't like that.

That girl, she's not pretty, right? He goes, yeah, Wendy, if you say so. Yeah, I don't know. it's unnervingly uncomfortable. What do you want to say she should be hanging out at the total recall cantina? She knows who she actually knows who Kwato is. Well well my brother my brother drives the cab and I think he knows who I don't know the reactor. I don't know the reactor. Get your hands on the roof. Get your hands on the roof. You have never thought of Wendy Williams in Puerto Rico.

I didn't get that idea. Oh, you're talking about quarter. Oh, he can. You better get your hands on the roof. Oh, you better go and wear some balls. I can't have me. If I'm Mickey D. Orange, you have an open invite to this show, never go back on Wendy Williams. We will try to help you sell whatever book, whatever veggie options, or push it for you. Get out of this relationship. Christine Dan and Jay had a discussion about how the bullied can sometimes become the bullies.

Later the gang talked about long-time bonfire favorites in super beautiful couple, Roman and Sierra. True bonfire royalty. Enjoy. I went through a pretty good bitchy phase in middle school after I spent elementary school being bullied. Yeah. Like that was my, you know, I was like, you say I'm a bitch. Like it's a bad thing. Oh bad, bad Christine.

Bad, you know, 13. You went from fat, you went from fat and they're the fat bully. Just that bitch. That's where it comes from. My fat girls get bullied and then they become bitchy. Yeah. And then they, and then they, and then they lose weight and they get Super slutty. That's how you bake a good old

Fashion no, I'm telling you all the fat girls are slutty too. I know that's what I mean That's what I said. They lose weight and then they go fucking hard in the paint. No, but here's what it is dude I'm telling you what I'm telling you the one main ingredient problem that makes a fat girl turn into a bitchy shitty chick. Which is what? Handsome, well hung in shape black men have caused that problem because they do oftentimes get a chance to fuck somebody that is technically physically out of their league and way beyond their thing because black guys for some reason want to grab on to a

Honk a lady and and I mean And the most the most three times a day at the gym guy We'll dive in there on a four hundred oh pounder on the right situation We'll dive in there on a 400 pounder on the right situation Did I mean like if it was like if I didn't know it was two hot chicks novelty to fuck fat guys and they were just throwing it at you You're like great These black guys aren't going up and go goes man. I like fucking gross pigs get over here It's like they go like, with all the tittiness. It's like, all right.

Have a meal. You're right, and then these girls are like, I knew it. I knew I was right. It's the whole thing, dude. I don't know if I'd be as nebashee with chicks or nervous or whatever like that in my life. If I was at the finish of like smoking hot chicks,

I'd be like, hell yeah. Fuck the world. I'm gonna be so mean the hot chicks who don't want to fuck me because I know there are ones that Definitely will yeah, I think that's the turnaround we had on Roman on Roman in Sierra Well, we realize it's like all this dude's just living the fucking experience that we all gorgeous Gorgeous and women are like take it all and he And he's like, yeah, I guess. All right, cool. In your mind, you're like, what could Sierra Sky do? If she's having sex with me regularly, what could she do in the downtime that would ever make me go

and say, I can't get out of the fucking room from listening to this chick? But he does. And so would you, but in your head you picture you wouldn't. You know what I mean? Like every moment that we had to take a picture together, it would be one moment that I was upset that I couldn't like, you know, suck our toes or something.

Like, you know what I mean? It would be so worshipy, but you do get over that thing of it at some point. Like the hot thing. How many pictures do we gotta take? For him, no for him. I'm saying for him, you know what I mean? But you eventually, I'm saying,

even if you wouldn't react on your Anger or annoyance in the moment like you still feel it Yeah, get what they're annoying shit is, but you'd be like, but when you're gorgeous also like Roman could definitely he's probably giving her a Goes look you have to make some changes or I think the relationships really coming to an end. I bet she would even be like Well, what is it? I have to you know, I mean like're like, they have to be funny. You need to stop calling Oregon Oregon. Well, yeah, that's my biggest problem with you. But he's got to be like, I mean, he's got to be like, not Illinois.

You fucking hot idiot. He's two phone calls. That guy's two phone calls from fucking an equally, uh, a comparably hot chick. Man, that what a draft a phone call those girls get a single roman fucking call them up their families around them they got a hat on their like i would love to suck your dick i would be as yes i would have to be honest

that's it with the for this first pick victory of the former bottle service girl is going to go to rom's house and a deal that sends Sierra sky to an NBA players house. When you watch a video of Sierra's when they're just like one of her coming hang it hang with us for a day, he's always having with his bros while she's off doing her thing. Yeah, you know, they have a good advantage. He doesn't give a shit. Here's a difference. He doesn't want to do her dumb thing she's doing. He wants to be with his bro's.

The thing is, all of us would be next to her and being like, this guy's just being crazy over there. I'm gonna be over. I'm gonna hang over here with you. Okay, I can pick the tallest apples. Ha ha ha. She'd be like,

go ahead and I'd like, I would love to, I would love to pick the apple for you. She goes, no, actually I can't pick by myself. Are you sure babe? Because like, I can hold the basket. We're gonna hold the basket. I'm going to. It's like, yeah.

I'm hoping such a bro laugh in the background. It's always having a bro just a bro chuckle Yeah, they're just showing each other there's so each other pictures and there's hot girlfriends gashes to each other I have it on blast Can you tell which one was which if you could see the phases? I've already shot a patrol bro everyone you guess wrong you do a shot of expensive tequila I need a drone, bro. Everyone you guess wrong, you do a shot of expensive tequila. He's like, he's tequila.

We've got bottles, a pod bottles of it. Don't worry. All I want to wear is an open button down shirt and drink light liquor and laugh a lot. Who does a lot that? It has your saying, it's bummer. Very low-bottom. You're saying that.

I want to be ripped. It's actually bumming me out as you say. It's bumming me out. I'm just like, damn, did I do want to do that? No, dude, I'm at right where I want to be ripped. It's actually bumming me out as you say it's bumming me out. I'm just like, damn, did I do want to do that? No, dude. I'm at right where I want to be. I'm in sweats on sweats with some fucking shoe cam. Shoom.

And for newer listeners, by the way, Roman Palombo and Sierra Scott, look him up. We can't. Friends of the show, the two hottest people in the world. They're an unreal, gorgeous couple. And we've, you know, it's weird. Is it we do reference him? Yeah, Roman's an awesome dude. He called into the show and I'm a fan of Roman.

I'm a fan of Roman for life. He gets it. I like to get to, um, I forget that people, I always assume it's just the same seven people listening to us. So it's like, people, like, people haven't heard that show. I'm like, oh man, no one knows about the Roman. That was the introduction of Shane Gillis. Yeah.

Yeah, go. That's right. Shane Baratulis. He gave them to us. Do Shane was, we were in the green room on the road and Shane's like, you've ever seen Sierra Skye. And I was like, I don't even know who that is. And he showed to me like, you do that Shane face?

You're like, right? I hate it. Yeah. They are friends show. that is a show to me back. You do that Shane face right? Right? Yeah. They are friends show. If you hit him up, you follow him. Let him know the bonfires that you know. We should take our first break. It's dead because of my lord.

We should take our first oh my god. Kristi I'm going to come punch you in the face on commercial break. Keep showing the Sierra sky pictures. You want to hit you? You want a fresh one? You want one of the chops? Do you guys, do you think she likes Reese's Pieces Intolenti? Now, I don't think she does. Damn. She eats a lot of uncrustables.

I'll tell you what I think she likes. Long pink thin weiner with a bulbous head. Weird. long pink thin weiner with a bulbous head weird it's a weird call yeah it is but okay yeah it is yeah it is hey everybody this is DJ Lou Crackle Crackle on Thursday's surprise live lost tapes the great Jessica Kerson came on and she chatted with us about the weird practice of therapy horses Here's the clip you know how much I love you. I know I I actually I'm trying to do work. I've been doing a lot of different therapies to try and be okay. That's the truth

I even did a quaint therapy. I stood across from a fucking horse. This is the honest to God truth. And my, yeah, my therapist was like, you need to go for trauma work. And I think equine therapy would be great. This is, I'm swear on my children. I showed up. The horse's cock was the, it had a huge full erection

which was so traumatizing. In pornography, yes. Pete, who I love that video, the woman choking on the horse's dick. I've told about it. It's so, yeah. They explode and they're, there's so much. Come, their cheeks just go like all Louis Armstrong on it. It's like putting your mouth on a supercell of 200.

I love that sound. Well, they always, they always like cough it and it all comes out around the big the craziest thing is how satisfyingly limp a horse dick goes after it comes is so hilarious. It goes from this crazy monster thing and then just goes like, good, it's over. Just like pulls away. It's pulling the road. It's like like, yeah, like an electric awning the thought of Jessica though standing in the field and they're like, okay, Mr. Butterscotch is a little erect right now, but let him calm down. He's like

No, it was the the woman who was telling me what to do was this big dyke which never works with me I mean I eat box, but I'm not like, how you doing? My name is Ross. I'm gonna be your answer. Oh, yeah. Hey, he's your fork horse. She goes, hey, listen, broken child, my name's Carol.

There's two things I like doing throwing someone out in softball and just sucking on a pus. So this horse right here is gonna make you feel better. Compete it. So fuck, what? She goes, I just like water melon working. on a plus. So this horse right here is going to make you feel better. Compete it. So what? She goes, she's like water melon. Work the car.

Of carrots. She goes, I'm going to give, she goes, listen here, sweetheart. I'm going to give you a handful of oats and this horse is going to lick it up like I do it a derby Thursday. All right. Now if that horse, if that horse puts his puts his hoof in your hand, I'll nibble your nips later. All right. All right. She goes something to calm her down as you can just name every Yukon female basketball hall of You're watching a horse sit. What is she just like telling you? What did she tell you to do?

You're going to die. You're going to die. First of all, I didn't realize how big horses were. I mean, I'm big, but horses are fucking huge. I'm terrified of them. I'm afraid of them. I'm looking up at this horse and basically the horse is supposed to mirror my feelings I swear to God. It sounds like a 12 year old girl's dream

I'm in your mind meld with a horse with a pony My emotions Yeah, yeah, you're my emotions. One of the told you that most horses are emotionally retarded. But you people believe that well, they're feeling it. So we take the money and we keep the lights on. Could you imagine them sending you up to be rejected emotionally by a horse? He goes, he mirrors your emotions and then you go to like rub his nose and he just walks away from you. Like, the horse wanted nothing to do with me.

Or he just bites your nipple. And you go, Jesus. That girl's a downer. So cool. He says under, yeah, the horse is like, you'll never make it. And just watch it. He goes, you go, excuse me, does this horse talk

and he goes, well, has them in years. And you go, you will get that as he goes, because you're not original. Wow. If I ran equine therapy, I would do the Mr. Ed move. I'd put peanut butter and all their mouths and just stand behind them and go,

your parents don't like you because you're not good enough. Watching the horses mouth going, you can't accept love because no one loves you you're the bottomless hole you can never fill with all of your vices you should just alcohol drugs and alcohol can help away, anyone that's close. I'll tell you what, they say you can't push things under your carpet, but you can buy a big old carpet to push this all under. You should bury yourself in meaningful sex.

You're cunning. That'll alleviate some of the pressure. I heard suicides only painful for a little bit. With the rock cocktail, I heard you just drift all this way. You should buy a gun and take it out on other people. Guys, I think this horse has given giving to real bad advice. Well if you really want to be famous go on a mass murder. But make sure they see your face.

Kill yourself on stage and everyone will know what's their fault. Shoot yourself the next time you perform at the rectal hood. Yeah. Take a close. the Horace just looked at me like why are we here like we both just look so The the thought of a cigarette of a horse putting out a cigarette to talk to you. We go All right What can I do you for? So who touched you?

Do therapy horses? Just not caring is so God. Your father didn't. Yeah, your father didn't mean it. He was lonely. No. Yeah. And then you just got to come over and slather more

skippy in their mouth and then go hold on. He's that's his time. You have to give him his time. Then the person doing the voice comes around the corner. They told me to put an apple in my mouth and just try to eat it with the horse. Yeah. So she was so daiki. And she's just like, you know, you're just hopefully the horse will take on your emotions and You'll be able to work through some stuff. I'm like are you gonna rate me like you're happy me? You're I'm gonna I'm gonna rape you later now. I want you to so bond with this horse She goes meld with the meld with the horse

Who's the benefits? I love her so much. She brought up who's the. Who's the big Mexican on the horse? Was he part of it? Is that me? They say equine therapy helps build emotional awareness. Social skills, impulse control. Why impulse control? Because you want to grab that big old horse weiner?

Is that where you're looking? You guys, not Jessica, no. Don that big old horse weiner. Is that later? You guys just a good no. Don't grab the horse weiner. Well, you went to a horse farm. I did. I went to a horse farm. I also did breathwork where I went in with an intention and breathed through my mouth only and a woman held my hand and said positive things in my ear. And then I took

a tennis racket. This is I swear on my life. I took a tennis racket and screamed at my father who just passed away hitting a pillow on my knees. Okay. Okay. The chicks do such weird shit. I've totally done like girl group weird. Yeah. I was like, how dare you? You're an asshole. I mean, just died. Yeah. Yeah. As a guy, as a guy, all you have for that therapy is just watching a sunset and then not, and then being like, I'm not gay. And then you, and then that's how you clear all that up. I can't do it. I can't have the guy go, uh, like, did you bring the egg? I told you I told you to bring yes Yeah, let it yell it like it didn't show up for your graduation because I'm not gonna yell at an egg man

Yeah, right it. I can't I can't I'll I'll never be serious about it I'll fuck I'll fuck it up. They'll be upset with me because I'm like I come on I can't also I know there's a lot of every time I've had to do something like that or got emotional. What's funny is a lot of other comedians go to my therapist So when the door opens I immediately change, you know, I'm like, I'm sitting there and I'm like And I just really did even love me. It's a walk-to-go So I got 30 new minutes. It's all pretty much like You know fucking brand new no one's ever done it I mean, it's a walk-taggle. So I got 30 new minutes. It's all pretty much like, you know,

fucking brand new, no one's ever done it. You walk outside. You walk out of the lobby, hey, your list. Yeah, hey, what's up? What's up, Martin Orman? Now I'm fine, whatever, dude. It's going so good, and they were just talking about bits that I'm working on.

Yeah, you're fucking, uh, your therapist, lobby's like a God-Dame commercial audition. You walk in, all of a sudden, everybody's there. Hey, it's Big J. Overson and I hope you enjoyed this week's best of the bond fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8pm Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the bondfire at Sex and Music This has been a Comedy Central Podcast Now!