The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Strong Island Stabbing

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

Jay notices that comedians aren't trying to be funny on their podcasts anymore. It seems to be a lot of seriousness and accusations. | The guys revisit the UFC Freedom 250 event to clarify a few things. | Jay tries to push the "Baddies" show on Bobby again by showing the girls fighting on a bus. | Bob spends the weekend performing at Governors Long Island where he encountered foul language, a stabbing, and a gift of a hatchet. To his surprise, Bob worked with Jay's ex-wife and her boyfriend "Fat Jay" at the gig. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Nice jacket. Thank you. It's bearskin. Bearskin. For a company, I would love... They would probably love to sponsor us, but we don't have room for ad reads in the show. We're bringing too much funny.

Dude, bearskin would be such a good. They have jackets and hoodies. They got raincoats. They got pants. It's probably one of my favorite... I mean, there's true classic. I mean, I'm head-to-to-true. True classic.

I mean, if they make a sock, I'm buying a sock. So I could make a sneaker and buy a sneaker. We were talking outside a little bit about, I don't know if the podcast swing of comedians doing podcasts has gotten to, no one's, everyone's serious now. Everyone's shows are completely serious. All I see is clips of comedians talking serious. Maybe that's the only thing is going viral, but everything seems serious.

I'd have to say the remaining comedy podcasts, this. Yep. Skanks. Yep. Rags? Yep. You know what, dude? Are you garbage?

Yeah, them. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? Yeah, goddamn, dude. I thought, I don't know. It's the original.

No, no, I know. None of you fucks would be here. I thought you were saying. I thought you were saying. But it's a little bit interview style. That can get, have you had serious ones? No, really? No, here's the problem with, you know what, do it.

And I will take full responsibility. I love to be in. You're in the interview, Jay. Right. And I have to, I, it's, it is hard as a comedian to,

when you get into, when people get you in interview mode. Mm-hmm. And you're kind of, if you're not, if you're not aware of it, if you're not aware of it, right? You're like,

let me get these actual thugs. I have some smart, real thoughts also I want to get out there. Well, that's the problem. You got, you got to think you have smart, real thoughts out there.

I've been in interview mode, where in the interview mode, I'm like, fuck I'm in interview mode and I'm trying to get out of it only one thing for sure get me dude you want to start talking about the fucking the the the science and the business of comedy yeah let's fucking roll dude uh you want to get me the funniest of me let's start talking about comedy we think is shitty that can't be broadcasted and then besides that i pretty much go funny with broadcasting but you can get me so that's why i said after show green room can go into a

real god forbid it's local openers all the questions you have guys please now's the time i get smoke inside ah perfect now you were saying young man i was thinking to get you a green room jacket that you can put on after your show smoking jacket like some type of jacket with uh maybe the science on the back yeah smoking jack will be lovely yeah talk about the science of comedy but all these podcast like everything's like a heated discussion or a debate about something we were watching we were watching Lisa Traeger shit last week. Yeah. And her hands are like running through her hair.

Like the, what's going on the world's going to going crazy? And like all this stress. And we were watching outside like Yamanika yelling at someone. And I was saying I was watching today. Godfrey and Gina Yashiree. It's all like everyone's a racist and comedy's racist. Like it's also heated up.

Well, we'll... Kill Tony. Kill Tony's comedy podcast. obviously. Well, we were watching Yamanika. And Yamanika did, you know, say she stuck up, she said Tony's not a racist or a misogynist, but when, and I love Yamanika. I love her so much. I do. I love her. I think she's hilarious. I think she on stage. A lot of disclaimer. She's, no, on stage. What the hell are you going to say? No, but when she said, she said this, I'll break the fourth wall, which is very telling. If you have to say I break the fourth wall,

to be honest about Tony Hinchcliff. or a comic that everybody's calling a racist. To me, the fourth wall is like, the other shit's fake. You're acting. This is real. Right? So you're saying that when people talk about this other shit,

it's all bullshit. It's to get, it's cloud chase, and it's to get people interested in your thing. People are going to fight over it. But now she, you know, I didn't like that. She did, just say that he's not a racist. You know him. You've met him.

And he's never been a racist or a misogynist to me. don't think that. Why can't you just say that? For sure, but it also, the caption is Chelsea Handler's Roast Writer speaks out, which is funny. It's like, now I start coming out there, like, I wrote her. It was like the Jesse Joyce used to be like, you know,

that's like Greg Geraldos like Roast Rider, man. I'm really for that reason, if nothing else. I'm so happy I wrote it myself. I don't people around. It's like, yeah, I did, that one's me. Yeah, that was mine. I would make me, I'd be sitting around going like, ah, stop.

Stop taking my clothes off in front of everybody. It's so uncomfortable. That's my new credit now when I get brought up. I got part of as Jay Hall's roast writer. I mean, Jay Ocason's Roast Rider. It's On the Bonfire and Roeford Jay Oakerson on the roast. I don't mind that. That should be the fight above everything.

Jay O'Kerson's Roast Rider. I did tell you that some of your jokes are good. You did. In fact, I thought of a few of them just walking with you. So I consider myself a part of the process. You are part of the process. I'm part of the process. 100%.

Which could be a great new nickname. I am the Florian. wins part of the process is pretty cool too part of the process which could be a great new podcast between me and you well joel mb the entire sixers last decade has been called the process oh really um but part of the process is nice you are part of the process that's a funny thing kareem green comments the hair looks nice yami and i gotta be honest it does it does i do like her hair yeah i mean i like you know the thing sucks too is having to watch all this stuff it's like when you're watching like friends like do the stuff and you're kind of like ah

You know what I mean? This one is again, it's not, I'm talking about even what they're saying. I'm talking about like the content of who you don't like or like or think is racist. That's, for comics to attack comics is always so lame in that regarding me, but we do it. So it is what it is. I'm saying it's like, it's so serious. That's what's blowing my mind. Like there's no, Allegiant of Skanks is the only podcast. I think it goes crazy and it's all about like being funny.

And this is a comedy show. Through and through. I mean, holy gaza, she. The reg is almost two not serious. The what? The regs, if you get serious on that, you'll get attacked viciously. Yes, as it should be. Yes.

Rogan's podcast is an interview podcast. Do you know what I mean? It's become of interview podcasts. It's supposed to, I guess, there's ones that are extraordinarily serious. He's never been that, though. He's never been a, he does, he's a comic that always, he started doing, like, alien shit, Jiu-jitsu guy stuff hunting his podcast was never

a bunch of because I started when he started and mine was always like me and DeRosa just fighting with each other and trashing people and you know Burr was just him talking to himself being all the other people you know because he was just doing it by himself

so he had to be like you know what dude you fucking do that and then and uh... he was a comedy podcast but Rogan's never been comedy he's always been in stuff he's been into he talks about But I mean, like, I couldn't imagine, like, coming in every day and just being like, so today in news, another mass shooting takes place and, you know, just going to give information in fact.

Sounds so terrible. Now, I want to talk about that same mass shooting, but I got some funny ideas about it. Too soon, some might say, per shnaps. There's nothing funnier that when I bring in a story about, you know, going camping and I'm seriously delivering it and you're peppering it the whole time. attacking the whole story. Thank God. When Max went to the sauna,

which was a great day, my son just paid to the bathhouse with Ari. It was an awakening for him, some say. Yeah, man. It was an awakening for your son. But it's like, if we just taught, if you were just like, man, that sound, it's cool that they hung out.

I mean, the story would be over really quick. No, or if it, no, it's more if I came to you and I go, do you know those are like gay cesspools? Yeah. Those places are like for gay cesspools. So send your son there is actually fucked up. Unless you want to send you, unless that's what your son's into. Unless it's what your son's into, then it's okay.

Then we have a different conversation. Yeah, we have a different conversation. But that will also be very serious. Stop, everyone's frowning all the time. Comics love to, listen, man, you know the thing. Rock stars want to be comics. Comics want to be rock stars, actors. We want to be taken serious.

No, I don't. I know you don't. But comics, these guys, these people want to be in front of a red carpet going, how does it like working with Tom Hanks? Tom's, you know, I loved him since Forrest Gump and to be, this is a dream come true. They, that's in them. They want that. But real comics, I think, who did this because they had no other choice because we're,

we're just funny. That's what we did hanging out with our friends. That's what we do. We fuck with each other. We make things funny. any bad situation. I know that when I call one of you guys up with a serious thing, somebody's going to

make a joke at some point to make me laugh. And it's going to hurt, but it's going to be funny. God, I hope so. Yeah. The hurt is what makes me laugh more. I know. I know. But it makes me laugh. It takes a couple months. You know, it's hilarious. Funny you say that. Tracy Morgan just described that same thing. You said very eloquently

and very seriously. He was talking about the difference between like funny. And he goes, I can teach anybody to be a comedian. He goes, but funny, he's like, a way of life. Funny is like a way of being. It's like inside of you. I can teach anybody to be a kid. And it's like, it's just, it's two minutes of that where it's like, well, then fucking say something funny, God, damn it. I'm going to tell you. For the love of God, stop being so serious. When I was on sex drugs and rock and roll and we had to do these big red carpet, the upfronts, then the upfronts, the world press comes there, right? And you go into a big, a big, you go

of these big room, small rooms, and there's like 50 tables. You have to go table to table. And they pair you up with people from the show. And you go table to table to table. So they paired me up with rehab, the guy I was with on the show. And he's an actor. He's a, you know, Thesbian. He is through and through actor.

Inside scarf type guy. Right. And I was fucking having fun. And every interview was me busting balls, saying funny things. Robert, if I may. And yeah, right. And he was like, look at me, like, what are you doing? I approached the scene with the fear of an insect trap.

And I, even the people interviewing, like, oh, my God, that was so funny. That was the best. I didn't get any press. They didn't post anything of me. I was in a room with all the press at one time, and I'm sitting up there for 25 minutes, 30 minutes. And no questions were coming my way. They're all John Corbett, Dennis Larry. and Elizabeth.

Question for Robert Kelly. What are you doing here? That's what, exactly. I'm on the show, dude. At one point I went, hey, I'll give $100 to anybody ask me a question. And some lady stood up, she goes,

do you really have $100? Do you really have $100? No, uh. She goes, you really have $100? I was like, I pulled it out. I go right here. She goes, how does it feel working with Dennis Leary? I go, well, you know, I first saw Dennis

back on MTV. no cure for cancer and it was I was like can you say this on can this be done and now to sit next to him and to be near him and John Corbett and and this cast to me

I've achieved something in my life and then the lady walked up and asked me for a hundred bucks and I gave it to her you really should have given it to her I thought the point I thought was making more the idea that you said I have a hundred bucks for anybody who asked me a question and I go, I have a question.

Do you have a hundred bucks? And then you'd have to give me the hundred bucks. I just asked you a question. Yeah, that was a question. That's, yeah, that sounds terrible. I'm just sit there and wait. But again, like you answer two honestly. You get you go in the interview mode.

Because you were surrounded by people in interview mode. Oh, oh, the question wasn't that. I was joking. Oh, that was just a, I was acting, Jay. Oh, oh, oh. I was acting. That music, but it's not me. It's not me.

It's the music. When I hear a sound bed, Jay. It comes over you. It's something inside of me as a child. Maybe it's because I didn't have a dad or maybe the dads I had weren't good dads. And maybe one day that I realized that

I'm the dad. And now when I hear a soundbed, something inside of me takes over and feelings and honesty and truth comes out. And I can't fight that. And I don't want to fight it. Stop.

You don't have to explain. I know I know and I'm sorry I love you Jay I love you I did a lot of face acting before I jumped into the scene I was doing face acting

I don't think I was getting any credit for it I'm gonna tell you right now listening is the hardest acting in the world and you're listening motivated my my little monologue I was face acting

there's nothing more than I love when an actor sucks the asshole of another actor about how great they are. Working with Bobby made me a better actor. And it's all you want to hear, but I want to be that other actor. I'm out there just trying to keep up, you know?

Like, these guys are acting circles around me, which isn't even an action you could talk about doing circles around somebody in. I feel uncomfortable when someone comes up to me after my show and goes, that was the best show I've ever seen. I'm like, I mean, that's not the, I mean, really, you've seen other shows that are good too.

I mean, it was good, but thank you. I get, like, fucked up. It's like. I know, I hate that. I was like, you're my favorite comedian. He goes, well, there's a lot of comedians. A lot of us. It's like, you probably like, next week it'll be somebody else.

How many shows you're going to do? This is my first one. Okay, well, you have time to see other people. No, but comics, we have, where I think to be a real good comic, you have to be really insecure with ego. I think you have to have those two things running at the same time. You have to, but I don't know if you have to be in touch with it or like, I'm more in touch

I understand to me the value far more of like self deprecation well just like the weight I would carry of being like fake like I'm like yeah do I mean I'm the shit you know like

the the the what I would have to carry like doing that and being like never read a comment of somebody going like this guy thinks he's the shit it's the same it hits me now so hard all the Michael Jackson's I watched recently when they started when people started not liking him they start call him the self-proclaimed king of pop and you're like yick like you forget he did that he's just like

i'm the king of pop and they're like yeah okay but what gets you on stage in front of those people after somebody's killing or on a big arena what gets you up there is that thing in you i got this you you know what i mean but it's also combating i'm gonna fucking die you know it's like these two things because you can't go on stage you can't affect us on stage because we know what pieces of shit we are We're constantly going through that. Right. And other comics are constantly attacking that. As soon as you walk in, whatever that thing you were like,

Is this shirt? Is this shirt all right? As soon as you walk in, it's like, dude, what's up? With that fucking shirt, I was right. It was a fucking dumb shirt. Right. What was the point of all this is Yamanika's hair does look good? You know what the freakiest thing about her hair is?

We did when we did Justful laughs together, when I just started knowing her, and she came out I was like oh your hair is so beautiful and I was like I I fucking love it and I go I got it she just did the Josh's thing comedy jam and she murdered I mean it was one of the crazy songs I was like oh my god she's so talented what did you do I forget some crazy some no is that just for laughs oh it was I think it was another wreath of Franklin song

or something like yeah that's it yeah that's it she does seelo fuck you a lot See, Loh, fuck you. And I was, like, blown away because I didn't think people were good when they did that. I thought it was more like karaoke. Excuse me? And I didn't see you yet. Okay. I didn't see you.

That's fine. You don't have to say anymore. And then she's in the hallway. I'm like, you were so good. I got to do it tomorrow. Fucking, that hair is amazing. She took it off and gave it to me. And I literally was like, huh?

And I actually wore it on stage playing the drums to ACDC, which was a wrong move, by the way. Yeah, it was a... I couldn't see anything. It was hot. It was a hot weave. Hot wig. It was a hot wig, dude. Yeah.

If I'd have had baddies in your life more of the time you would have understood that's what was going to happen if you asked for her hair. Last night, Baddy's episode, and I mean this, talk about, do you remember the, are you old boxing fan at all, Jacob? The big fights are on all watch, yeah. Diego Corallis versus, I think Juan Luis Castillo was it? It was one of those, it was a crazy fight. It was, went the distance, I believe.

No, somebody had been knocking out. The guy was getting his ass kicked worse. I think with Diego Corrales, who almost got knocked out several times in the fight, ended up winning by knockout. In this crazy fight, they did it in a fucking phone booth, they called it, because they were just, they never were like not right in front of each other

swinging for the fences. I know the terminology. Did you? Yeah. Jacob doesn't. Okay. Well, look at him. It means they fought really close together.

Nerd. You nerd? And they... Maybe for the people listening at home, they didn't know. And that, the entire episode of Baddies yesterday. Was fighting in a phone booth? They got on a tour bus in the beginning of the show, and they fistfight so much on the show.

It's for, I mean, and they show you the hours of the day, 3.30 p.m. 4.15 p.m. 5, 7, 6. At 9.30, someone goes, I got to get up this bus. I need to get some air. And they go out of the bus, and they go, where are we? And they go two miles down the road because the driver refused to drive while they were fighting like that

and they just would never stop fight. For six and a half straight hours, nonstop fight. One girl's face is so fucked up. It's crazy. Turn the vibe. You got to hear what they're saying. Can I ask a question before we watch a video? Of course.

We're not going to watch this vase. I want you to hear them cackling. I want to hear it. But I don't understand because I know you're trying to get me on this batty thing and it's not happening. You're on it. You don't know.

even know you're on it dude you're on it is that how what happens yes yes is this security everywhere uh-huh big fucking security guys oh yeah when you hear a quote from one of the security guys this week ah bitch is biting me this bitch is biting me that happened this week but these guys are like sell a security uh-huh and i don't understand how a fight could break out no no no no Bobby what you you think the idea the show is they're trying to mask the idea that like Like they're never supposed to fight. No, no. They give them space to fight.

And then once they, it's to their decision, to their discretion, what they think, when enough damage is done or one girl's like really whaling on the other girl, they come break it up. So it's not a, it's not a security. It's more of a referee. Yes, 100%. It's a great way to put it. What are the Zeus Guardians? Yeah.

Oh, they have a name. Yeah. I need to get one of those shirts. Yeah. I need to get me a Zeus Guardian shirt for sure. Look at this guy's, look at the security guard right here. They don't care. And by the way, the perk of the job is you just got to break them up.

You might catch some shots. You might get bit. But you are going to see nonstop, I mean, so much pussy that you're also seeing asshole and titty. Almost 100% of the day that's happening. Now, they're going to be attached to some of these fucking giant fucking praying mantis monsters. But still, give them a little volume on this so you could hear how it was going on. They're all hanging on to the roof. Of the bus.

Because it was moving at first. Okay. Oh, no one likes pressure, Jacob. To answer your question. Look at me. No one likes pressure. She's been a problem from the get-go. Do tell.

Pressure's a big fat slut. Pressure so. Oh, it's not pressure. Like, you have pressure. No, her name is pressure. Oh, okay. Pressure's been a real bitch. The whole show.

She's fucking shitty to everyone, and she deserves everything she gets. Go ahead. I feel bad for all these security guards. They all have the same face. like this sucks do you know one of the fights pressure gets into so that right there Bobby in the middle there her name is Fanya she's very pretty pressure is behind her you can't see her but you can't see her old dirty bastard hair sticking out the one

girl is now standing in front of her almost protecting her later in this episode did you see a little thing on her face right there I don't know it's new in something you see where Christine's pointing it out yeah a little thing on her face when everything calms out at one point the girl behind her goes like oh you got a skin tag on your face and she goes you're still pretty though and she was like oh thank you and then stands up and just starts beating the shit out they start fighting immediately she starts fighting the other girl because she said she had a skin tag she said let's fight okay and then the girl with the skin tag steps off the girl with skin tag goes let's fight fuck that and she jumps off and steps into

the middle of the bus to fight and while she has her back turn the girl punches her to the back of the head who just said she had a skin tag there's no rhyme or reason to the fight you're looking for logic where there is not if someone said i had a skin tag and acknowledge it in front of a group of us i would probably want to fight them too. Can you ask you a question? Do you go to the zoo and look at it and say and go, I wonder what they're thinking? You just watch and do their thing. Okay.

Right? Yeah, I like, I like, I like, I like, I wonder what the elephant thinks of us and what do you think. What's going about the society and the way society's supposed to behave? No, you just watch an elephant be an elephant. Okay. Such as this. Okay. You got to watch a baddie be a baddie.

Just watch a baddie be a baddie. Just watch a baddie, you step out of the world. I'm just glad that you pick the right animal. If you believed. If you believed... I know where you're going with that. If you believed that this was anything indicative of, like, society in any dangerous capacity, you would think that we should get nuked.

So this... Yes, this is just fighting. This is like a, like, bare knuckle on a bus. A little bit of sisterhood in between. Okay, okay. Sisterhood. So this, if you look at it, like, all right, this is just a new fighting sport. Mm-hmm.

The security is not security. It's referees. Mm-hmm. And the bus is the actual ring. this episode. This episode. They just have to get from L.A. to Phoenix for a gig, man. They got a rap to do.

They got a rap party to do. But all the important rappers, I'll say, I noticed, not on this bus ride. They put the backup and they're not important girls in this bus ride and just let them beat the living shit of. That is definitely by design and it's brilliant. Well, there's some girls. I forget one girl. None of the draws.

None of the girls are there. I don't stay on that bus. Like, they really, like Tommy Lee's not on the bus. If Kamala wins in. 28, do you think she'll have... Fingers crossed. She'll think, have this at the White House? Are she running?

I want Michelle Obama to become president now. So they could have the baddies at the White House? Yeah. On the front lawn? Then she has to prove to that UFC guy that she's going to be the first female president because he's not going to believe it.

He's supposedly getting fired that guy? Is it happening? Dana White? No. The Josh Hokic guy. They're going to fucking... I wonder what the penalty is. You know,

more videos I watched that Bobby you nailed that you were I was like really when I looked at him into the press conference and you said his head was down I go oh yeah did I bet Dana White went back there and was like hey I'm gonna go out there make it not a huge deal but fucking shut the fuck up forever this whole thing was supposed to unite Americans as like people who like fights and you know take away the thing away from Trump and let's all get together and do something I mean it's birthday well it's not it's not it's not a it's not like it's gonna do it 100% but it could if it came off as a great night

great fights everything then it would have been good this guy did exactly what people needed him to do to hate this event he said he won the fight wasn't supposed to everybody thought he was going to get his ass kicked beat the dude bad and then at the end

when Joe went up to him he said you know thank you blah blah blah God bless it whatever he said and then he said Michelle Obama's a guy I don't think he said thank you God bless anything it's not funny it's not fucking funny dude first of all listen jacob stop to each their own okay

all right fine you're right that is america it is america ain't that america we have the second amendment is that it home with a free um it was insane it was the stupidest fucking move it was shocking i don't know if he should be fine it was it was immediately like come on dude you fucking idiot well it's like he shouldn't be fired because of the idea is then like they mean the storyline you've built for like

any black guy to get in there and beat the shit of him except he's beating the shit of two of the best black guys I spend the thing's apart. It's crazy. And it's also what Trump does. It's like Trump will do something great. And then in the announcement of something great will say something fucking stupid and ridiculous.

We're like, come on, dude. Just read the fucking teleprompter. Stop winging it. You know? So stupid. Yeah, this guy's in trouble. In trouble. But nobody's talking about the most amazing part of the fight.

The most amazing part of that fight, to me. Gachy won, which was great, six to one, White House. Joe Rogan's tie was way too small, which was awesome. That was funny. The kick that was thrown that had the sound effect. Oh, I forgot about that. But that was...

You heard a guy's leg, like slice wind. It was crazy. We were outside, by the way, and all of a sudden, we all heard it, but Jay was like, did that make a sound? And he rewound it. It was like a Chinese movie. It was fucking.

Yeah, he kicks, he misses, and he goes, whew, you're like, Jesus. It was, nobody's talking about it. I've never in my life, I've watched fights since the beginning, have ever heard a kick, make the,

whew, by the guy's face. It was like, one of the greatest things I've ever seen. It was wild. It was fucking crazy. I don't remember who it was,

but you're like, oh my God, if you made contact with that, it would have sent the guy's jaw into the first row. I think it was Gaichi. Wasn't it Gagey? It might have been gaigi.

I think it was earlier in the night than that. It was a spinning back kick and it missed the guy's face, and he heard, it might have been the guy that fought the Diego Lopez I think as he started out

and that we're starting Was it sugar? Was it sugar? No, somebody I can't, I've never heard a sound effect in real time.

I didn't know they really made sound I thought it was just a guy on a mic Oh, you you take your peanut butter and get it in my chocolate Oh, your chocolate is in my peanut butter.

Shout out Al the Benis fucking what's up Alan the Monkeys Al the Monks First get. Yeah, he's in... Do you have the sound of the... I'm trying...

The whole thing's not loading. Oh, I don't want to be it. I love on Christine, he becomes breakfast of Tiffany's. Not loading. The whole thing's not loading. It's not loading. It's not loading. And it's raining out today, and I can't go to my favorite place in the world.

The gloom and doom. Is this fight? This isn't it? I don't know. I don't remember who was or where it was. Oh, it might have been that guy. I do think it might be that guy. Yeah, because he was like lanky, right?

Yeah. It was epic. Surprise is not... I'm surprised that it's not all over the place. Yeah. That everybody... Oh, you're just looking for it, like, individual... Oh, you'll never find it.

You'll never find it. You're never going to find it. I'm surprised. That's the one thing that shocked me after the fight that... And no one's talking about that. Nobody's talking about an actual spinning kick with a sound... A real-life sound effect. It's nuts.

Give Bobby a little more taste of the base here before we switch topics, because I got a... I would see somebody here when I ask him about his weekend. What? What? They give you that little teaser. Would that do that little ramp-up sound, Jacob? He knows at the end of that rampout. Someone's getting it.

Kicks to the face. They don't give a fuck, dude. I mean, it's a dog pile. Jacob, you could come to this, dude, for sure. I would totally give you my password, but my passport is Isabella's passport. I'm starting to think that we might be the only two people in the country that have a password. So I want to get a more business. I feel like Zeus owes me.

Oh, my God. What's wrong with her lips? She's painting a star on them. And it makes her face look fucking weird. I mean, look at that face. I have to say that one of these ladies looks happy. None. No, there's one.

There's a really, really stupid stripper on here who's happy as fuck. And there was actually a moment that it was the most honest I've ever seen one of the girls be on this show. Is she has one of the big fat ladies who's got a semi-rap career shows up to a dance studio. And the stripper girls there like dancing around and like worshiping her feet. and starts dancing and she goes, I really think that I should be, you should let me be a background dancer for you on the thing, she goes,

you want to be a background dancer for me? And then she like dances around, and she goes, you're not really good at dancing. And yeah, that girl right there, she goes, you're not really good at dancing. And she goes, yeah, you're right. It was the most self-reflective thing I've seen a baddie-do ever on the show.

She goes, yeah, no, you shouldn't take it. I have a couple of comics I want you to do that too. Here you go, look. I have a couple of, a couple friends of ours I'd like you to say the same standard to see if they can be honest. Here, look at this.

Back it up. Oh, no, it's coming up. Is this a dance studio? No, she said she's going to show her She doesn't be a background dancer. Is this a stripper? Is this a stripper studio? You were right there.

You were right there. You were right there. Not from the very beginning. Damn it. You were right there, 10 seconds. Yeah, so. Damn it. Yeah.

So, why, are they just in a dance studio? because they have to dance. Is this like... You should want to ask a girl, ask her to meet her there. I mean, this is production shit always. It's probably, maybe they have like a rehearsal space.

So this is like Torgasm with black chicks. Well, they have to get somewhere. Yeah. And they have to give them little things to do just to make a show. Yeah. Okay. That'd be a great Torgasm too, wouldn't it?

Will we fight? So tell me about your weekend, Bobby. You were working out in Governors, Long Island. Oh, my God. Governors, first of all, I love the club And I love I love Long Island people

I do I feel there's a big butt coming No but to get out to Long Island Is Is such a traumatic experience Like I don't think they You say it every comic says it People don't understand

The the process It's not a traffic jam It's 14 traffic jams That you That for some reason There's like a half a mile of not traffic jammer you're like I've traffic where you're like I did it I've gotten past it and then it starts right over dead stopped exactly that's the exact it gives you hope it did it every day

gives you hope and like I'm out I'm through and you're flying and you're like and you're looking at the map and it's all blue and then one and a half miles back you're in it again and then it goes and it's it's like hope and then they snatch it away from you all the way to the exit to the club Is there anything funnier? I was in a traffic jam. I was, man, when I was coming home the other night, the story wars, I forget what it was. It took me like two hours to get home, like the traffic over by the,

but it was construction. Yeah. It wasn't even like the, like FIFA stuff. It was too late for that. But it was, everything was redirected over there. It was terrible. And then there was like a little like, dinger, I guess an accident must have happened at some point. And then as you're going past that, you see like two guys out of their car.

And you really want to roll your window down and be like, Figure it out. Fucking later, dude. There's no way there's major damage in this situation. Just fucking pull over when it opens up. Yeah. It's, and that's the thing, too, if there's any.

You're making another traffic jam. There's already traffic jam, and now you're making people merge another lane. It's crazy. It's the worst. It's the fucking worst. But I was leaving Friday, and before I was leaving,

I kept getting messages on Instagram. I guess there was a shooting on Thursday night. I mean, a stabbing on Thursday night. Fantastic. So there's like, It's like major news where it's like stabbing at comedy club governors Thursday night. That actually happened. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. In the club. In the club. Who was it? What was the show? Ben Bankus. No-uh.

Really? Yeah. And so there was a stabbing in his show? No. So I get there. Finally, I get there way early. I take Max with me too. We leave it, I think, 3 o'clock, 3.30 to get there for an 8 o'clock show.

Max did the stabbing? No, Max didn't do the staffing. I take him with me on Friday. And I always go, there's a cigar lounge right around the corner where I know the guy. And I called him up. I go, look, I got my kid with me. Do you mind if we go in the lounge and I'm going to smoke? Yeah, bring him in.

That's fine. But we go in the lounge and it's all Long Island guys, which is a different type of, it's, they're just different guys. It's not New York City. It's Long Island. They talk a lot. Well, one of the guys knew me immediately, and I know, he was like, hey, man, are you, and I'm like, you know, yeah, you're Bob Kelly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then now I know the next thing. You were stressing until he said the name, though. No, well.

Are you? You were like, I think I am. I know it's the worst. You gotta wait. Are you? Paul Verzi? No, I'm not. That's not me.

Which would have been better because I know when they know. And then you go, I'm Bobby Kelly. You go, you know Paul Versey then. Tell him how much we love him. Good guy. Great guy. No, but now I know the conversation is going to be about comedy for the next hour and a half.

And I'm cool with it. I don't mind all that. I get it. We love to be interviewed. But it's like it goes into, you know, this guy? You know, and then it's like, what do you, it's always, what do you think about her? And you're like, you know, great, man.

You know, comedy's different for everybody. You know, maybe not my cup of tea, but very successful. But they don't, the thing. Think about Long Island people. They don't care. They're who they are 100%. It doesn't matter if there's a nun there. If there's a 13-year-old boy there.

And they know you're fucking faking the funk with that fucking half-cocked, stupid diplomatic answer. No, everybody's got me subjective. Everybody has their own tastes. She's very successful. Who's the she and who are we shitting on, Chelsea Handler? No. Well, yes, they brought her up.

And they brought somebody out. And the one guy goes, What do you think about her? And I was like, Hey man, you know, she's doing great. And it just, in front of Max, she's a cunt. And Max's eyebrows went up. Who was it?

But happy, he's like, do we get to say cunt? Because he knows. Does Max know who the person is? No, he has no idea. I literally had to grab his leg and go, you can't say cunt. And the other guy was like, yeah, she is a cunt, right? I'm like, look, I don't, I don't really, you know. I don't know.

You know, it is what it is. Who's well enough known that would make its way to all. old fucking Long Island Italian cigar club. Who's the girl comic who are there But they're not basing this on anything. They're just basing this. No, who do they even know to even say

they think she's a cunt? Whitney? No, they're... Schumer. What was the one? Schumer. Amy Schumer. What was Amy?

I forgot her name. Maybe you just said the girl held up the head of the president. Oh, thank God she didn't come up. She became a guy. Thank God. They would have took me to the back room where they all really meet.

Yeah. Bing, you put two in the back of their brain. I don't know if you saw the movie, but they finally floored her scheme of making children killing the night for her to keep her young. So Kathy Griffin is now aging and dying. Yeah, she's no more kid blood for her.

There's no more child blood for her from the killings of people at 157 p.m. at 157 a.m. in the morning. 2.17 a.m. No more Pizza gate. All the children. Man, what a ghool. And then we went to the club.

And I love James so much. James, the owner of that club, is one of my favorite fucking owners of all times. I'm surprised you're able to go on stage. I'm surprised you guys ever let go of that handshake where your other hand is constantly touching the other guy's cheek. Hey, I'm so happy to have you back. Come on, you've got a beer more often.

No, I like it when you come here. No, you come on, try. Enjoy anything from our 17-page menu at a comedy club doesn't make any sense. Don't forget the secret menu, James's menu. The James menu. They have steak. But he comes in the green room and me and Max are there and then a couple of the commerce come in.

And he just starts telling stories, but he doesn't hold back. It's not like he just starts talking. Saying the N-word. And he's telling us what happened. You know what I mean? And I'm like, well, you know, was it in the room? He's like, nah, one of the cooks and one of the other guys working in the kitchen, they got into an argument. They always fucking argue.

And when I'm here, I go in, I tell them, hey, break it the fuck up and nobody's getting money tonight. And then they break it up. And later I come back in, they're laughing and smiling. I just had to go to the other club for 25. I was going for 25 minutes. And apparently they, you know, I had to go get juice at the other club. So I was like, I'll just go over and get it. And apparently he came back and they got into a big fight.

And they took it outside and it got crazy. And it was so funny, though, he's like, and then all of a sudden there's like nine detectives there and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, you know, you know, and they're like, I had 250 people, so I said the detective, I said, hey, all right, I'm going to start the show. And he's like, you can't start the show. It's the fucking, you know. So I had nothing to do with Ben Banks. Nothing to do with Ben Baggis.

And the police officers. That was a good cliffhanger, though, because it made me think of everything to do with Ben Bankas. Well, James is so fucking smart. He goes, hey, nothing happened in the showroom, it happened in the kitchen and outside. This isn't really, you know, need to be out here. It's not a crime scene. So he wanted to He's like, we can do the show

I got two of it So he did the show But there was no kitchen Oh really? Because two guys should kill each other Yeah so there's no kitchen Did the one guy, is he hurt The guy got stabbed?

I mean hurt but has he fucked up bad? This article says critical condition Really? Yeah, I think that's hurt Damn, boom bots, these things happen, eh? It's kind of sad because I've actually know the guys, one of the guys And they've both been there for years

They just got escalated That's the guy murdered? No, that's, yeah, that's the guy who got hit in the head with something. Yeah. You got hit and he stabbed the other guy. But he's like, he's been there for years. They know the family. They're like, they're all friends.

Like, he loves, James loves these guys. And it sucks that it just escalated. And I've worked in kitchens. Kitchen escalates, quick. That wasn't the energy you just gave when you were saying I was talking about that he cared deeply for these guys. Well, he, he was going like, great, drag him the fuck out of here. Let me start this show, eh?

Come on. I got schoongealian on in there. He felt bad. He did, because he does love those guys, you know? What's that? This just went away, but it said he stabbed him in the back. Nice. With a knife.

Yeah, he stabbed him in the back. They were fighting outside, and he took a nice... The victim was transported hospital. He's in critical condition. What are they saying now? Because this is a while ago now. What's the update? The other guy's going to jail for attempted murder.

Oh, for sure. What I'm saying is the guy out of the hospital, or do you die? I don't know. I don't know. Because if he dies, now he's in jail for murder. Well, I got in trouble because I was on stage that night. 54-year-old guy working in a kitchen. You might as well stab a guy to death.

Just get a new fucking track on life. Maybe jail's fun. This guy's not crushing pussy or nothing. It's fine. It reminds me of the stress of the kitchen service when I was working in the restaurant, and it's through the roof. You would love to stab every Asian you worked with, you piece of shit. I mean, they're holding chef knives, so he just didn't let go of his, I assume.

and took it outside. Did you used to Dadeyam about running through John Wickstow and throwing knives at everybody who were your enemies in the kitchen? That's what I picture you doing. Have you ever worked in a kitchen? Never. It's, dude, I worked at a lot of familiar Georgios

in Italian kitchen. It was all Spanish guys. It's all, it's the one Italian lady who prepares, right? And then the owner who's out front and, you know, doesn't go in the kitchen unless something like this happens. But it's all Spanish guys. And it gets violent.

Like they bust balls bad, and then it gets violent quick. I had one of the guys. Bus balls bad, it's fun to say. One of the guys, I was fucking with them one day, and I've always fucked with them. No, I saw what you're doing. You were busting balls bad. I was busting balls bad. Yes.

And I went in the kitchen, and I needed a, they had a lunch special. It was five dishes for five bucks. You got a little piece of each. So it would always be like an eggplant palm, some type of lasagna, and then, three other dishes like a pasta it's called the tour of italy and olive garden is that what it's called yeah so they would have that every day so we'd be jamming at lunch every day with all these fucking nickel chases trying to get a big big it was a big portions too and i went in and i was like dude i need a lasagna right now i need a they wanted i fucked up you got to give me come on dude

give me and i yelled at him he came around that thing he had a knife and he's like you fucking talk to me i like that i'm gonna fucking cut your throat from your fucking mouth to your balls you fucking, I shit my pants. I just wanted a lasagna. And he went from my best friend for a year to going to cut me from head to toe

from my mouth to my dick in two seconds. But then later, he came up, he goes, he hugged me. He's like, I'm sorry, a little stressed out doing the kitchen. It's okay.

I was like, it's cool, man, whatever you need, dude. He's just a little stressed out, dude. So Kitchens? Open you up from ear to ear. They get heated

and then they cool down when the rush is done. If somebody could have just kept this guy from stabbing the other guy in the back, they probably would have been fine by the end of the night. I'm sure that having the place packed out

and having the kitchen being slammed caused the argument and caused that shit. And you know what you could have done to solve that problem is just have me work there Thursday now. And then the kitchen would not be slammed. You'd be fine. If one guy thinks one guy's not pulling his weight, if I have to go to court,

if I have to go to court, I will say the at fault here might be James, the owner, because he makes a menu far too complicated for a comedy club. And these guys got a job at a comedy club as part of their probably parole or whatever. And then they can't get in fucking trouble.

They fuck up. And then you stress them out with a lot of more work than they thought. They thought mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers. It's not that bad anymore. They didn't know they were going to make fucking tea bones. No, they don't do that anymore. They don't? No, it's down it.

It's just appetizers, wings, cassidia. They don't have that anymore. You can't get main courses anymore. Go ahead, scroll down. Cazadea, wings, healthy wraps. A cheese board. Yeah, cheese board.

Wings, go ahead, down wraps. Raps, it's it. And then soups salads. Soups. You're done. Now we're sandwiches. And then burgers and you're done. And then we hit burgers.

And then you get some pizzas. Now we're a tibbutch. You can do a pizza. Pasta and seafood. It keeps going. That's it. Then there's dessert. Yeah, but desserts are already made.

You just take that out. Yeah, so here's the thing when you go, I'm going to get a job at a comedy club cooking. You don't think you're going to have to do fucking baked Ziti smothered marinar or shrimp platter or fried clams or buffalo fried calamari. I didn't know they had the flyer. That's a crazy long menu, man. Tidbits.

It's a pretty big menu. Four different pizzas. Keep going. So many desserts. No, no, go up. Is there another page? No, that's it. That's it.

They used to sell steaks and all kinds of other shit. They don't do that anymore. They haven't cut back that much. A little bit. They cut back a whole page. Let's see. They may have. they got a steak sandwich

the Joey Coler they got the Joey Cola burger yeah very obvious to see why they were going to kill each other I was on stage and I got a little trouble because there was this

two Spanish guys and I was like you Spanish he's like yeah I go hey just not for nothing there's an availability in the kitchen tonight if you guys are looking for anything

we got a little space in there tonight you guys are looking for some sidework or whatever and you pull a knife on you and go, say it again, motherfucker, I'll cut you me a year. Well, it was also like, dude, this is the only club I work with is a stabbing.

They're like, yeah, no, we're not canceling. Let's go. Let's do it. Everything's fine. But we had, I was on stage, and I didn't know who I was, I knew, I was bringing Joe Russell, Jokes Russell with me to feature.

And then he was like, well, you know, you want any openers? Like, no, whoever. And I went on stage. And I didn't hit me until I had the outro, I always outro all the comedians that were on. And I had to go, hey, give it up for Joe Russell.

And make sure you give it up for, Carla and fatchae Yeah My ex-wife I didn't give it for you Ex-wife and fat-jay Yeah yeah Which was

I'm literally on stage going Wait a minute That sounds familiar for some reason It didn't dawn you at first It didn't even do it Dude I didn't even know There are a couple Are they really a couple?

I believe so I didn't even know that So fat Yeah So fat Didn't even know that Yeah yeah yeah Who feet?

Featured. Carla hosted. He did a spot. I think he was probably going to feature, but I brought Joe. He brought Joe. So Joe featured. He got bumped back. Yeah, I think that's her boyfriend now.

Yeah. Good guy. Nice guy. They were cool. And Carlis, Carla did great. Carla did great. Sure. No, she did.

Who are you trying to convince, man? I'm not trying to, I'm just saying that. I'm not trying to. You're overselling. I feel like, I'm sure. Well, look, when you go, you know, look, when your ex, when your friend's ex-wife is on your show, you're like, oh, God, I hope this doesn't,

I hope this isn't going to suck. You know what I mean? I don't, but she was... It was good enough? No, she did great. She did great. She did great. The other dude, I didn't know,

I didn't know that was her boyfriend. I didn't even know a name was Fat Jay. I just thought it was Jay until he was, he was brought to me that was Fat Jay. And, uh... Well, it is fucking hilarious, though. That is, I mean, been a good source of some chuckles for sure. I was telling Max, you know, Carla has a,

Type. She's got a type. Large guys named Jay. There's a couple checkbox you have to have to date Carla. Big boy? Yeah. Apparently she's a big boy. Yeah, she wouldn't like you now.

Without a doubt. No, but there is something so that is just like a funny one that like, I tell you this, I believe she likes him a lot. She likes him a lot. I didn't even know that. Because. They didn't show any affection? Because there's no way it's not a thing constantly brought up that she was a guy who went

by Big Jay. It goes by Big Jay. and now a guy named Fat Jay is pretty fucking hilarious. The idea of that is bonkers. Yeah, which should have been your name to begin with. Yes. Yeah, your name should never been Big Jay.

This guy stole my should have been named. Brought it up so nonchalantly in our meeting today, Carla and Fat Jay opened for me. What? You just thought maybe Bobby was mad at me? I've never heard of him. Fat Jay came out there and fucked up the show. Dude, it didn't hit me until I was like,

Oh shit, this is weird. This is weird. The fat J's on the show. Yeah, yeah. Is there a skinny Jay? Now, and Isabella goes to visit her, the family's complete again. There's a Jay, Carla, and Isabella in the house again. There's a fat person named Jay, a Carla, and an Isabella in the house now.

All is right. All is right. All is right with the world. No, the shows are good. You know what's great about these fans? Dude, I felt like it was my birthday. I walked away with so many gifts. When I do Long Island,

like they're so generous these fans every night they'll give me cigars Saturday night bro this one guy came up gave me a thing that says I got a box of cigar rare pinks they're called

which is hard to get I got that from the club and then another these two other dudes came up who were awesome they come out of know we got a gift for you and I was like okay

and you're thinking maybe it's a cigar whatever they gave me three hatchets three That's a nice guy. They go, listen, when Jay was here, we got him a Sony PlayStation or an Xbox. He did.

Was it an Xbox? PlayStation. PlayStation. They go, we got Jay, a PlayStation. I'm so up you know, they are. I have no idea who they are. They left nothing. They just sit here and with no information out of contact anybody or thank them for that.

They go, yeah, we got him. He said he wanted a PlayStation, so we got him a PlayStation. We didn't, we didn't know if you played video games or not. So we knew you like knives and shit. and we know you probably had a lot of knives. So we got you some hatchets. But, dude, they gave me three hatchets, but like really nice camping hatchets.

They gave me a big hatchet, survival hatchet. They gave me a smaller hatchet that goes on your belt. And then in the between hatchet. And they gave me hatchet. They gave me hatchet throwing knives. Nice. And then they gave me cigars, like really nice cigars. It was almost like too much.

I was going to say, I'd start giving stuff. back like all right guys this is like thank god I drove dude I loved it I was fucking I was like you know I love gifts dude I'm a gift dude I'm a gift guy you give me a gift I'll take it I don't know I have no more expensive to give me a gift I'll take it's good give me a gift I'll take it give me a Rolex I'm not

I'm like thank you very much I but yeah they gave me these fuck all these gifts I came home I I came in the with a box of shit from the weekend from all the fans from being out there and Don was like what's that I'm like, fucking my gifts, bitch, stay away. Stay away, bitch. And I took out all my hatchets.

He's like, what are you going to do with all your hat? Why do you need these many hatchets? Not the point. I don't need five hatchets. I don't need throwing hatchets, but I have them in case the zombie apocalypse happens. And you need to get rid of five of them exclusively only. Well, you take one back. One of the throwing hatchets.

You take them back if you can. You go back and pull them out of the skull. You've got to hit him in the skull, too, Jay. That's the Daryl Dixon conundrum, right? Yeah. He was the coolest one, but you got to go, retrieve your fucking arrows constantly. Yeah, it does suck.

How gross. You can just have a sword take their heads off and move on about your day. This guy's got to go keep redoing his bullets. Yeah, and if you miss, you'll never get that arrow back. Oh, and you got to eat

knowing that, like, in a quiver in your back is like fucking zombie eyeball juice and shit. He's not, like, rinsing them off. It really is. He just wipes it on his clothes like an animal. A fucking disgusting animal.

You'll be careful with those, do you? You'll slice yourself with an arrowhead. Makes me sick. Yeah, I never really like the bow and arrow guy. Well, he did Daryl had to make his own arrows, I believe. He had a making... In the Walking Dead. I mean, there's no more arrow-making, store manufacturing, so...

That's why I always like the Dungeons and Dragons bow and Arrow. That's the dream bow and arrow. It's just the front of a bow, but then when you make the motion, an electric-looking... Arrow. Arrow and string will pop up, and then... Peeing! And then you send that off. The Walking Dead...

Dungeons and Dragons? Huh? What do you say? You played Dungeons and Dragons? No. Yes, he has. Look at him. Never in my life once.

How do you know about it? Do I know what Dungeons and Dragons is? Yeah, how do you know the details? Oh, the detail I'm talking about is from the cartoons. Right cartoon. When I was a kid, I watched the cartoon. Oh, okay. And you run in a mall on a Saturday night?

I wouldn't even know how to start playing. I see how it's like there's no, it's just the front until he pulls it. It's the coolest. Somebody did make an automatic, uh, uh, automatic, uh, A bow and arrow where they just go to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to shoot out in the walk? That's pretty cool crossbow it was a no he made a he was a crossbow he made a crossbow and he made a I think he made a bow and arrow there's no there's no there is there is that's a crossbow no no no in the middle one I think he I think the guy made one they made an automatic I want this to be true

I think but it can't be I think It's not a bow and arrow if you're not using your arms. Automatic bow and arrow. That's what I typed it. You mean a crossbow, Bobby? No, no, no, no. It's not, you can't buy it. It's a custom-made thing on YouTube.

That what? Has a fake arm attach to it? No, dude, this guy, this guy that makes shit, like, he just thinks of something and makes it. Like, he made a, they made like a real Iron Man thing, hand that shoot stuff. They made, like, a real lightsaber, that type of shit. And he makes things, and he made an automatic sword. on YouTube. Oh, shit.

What? I think you're getting click-baited, bro. I think you're getting AI'd. I don't know. It was before. It was before. It just, your mouth just curled up on the side,

realizing you never even considered these things could have been AI. What? And then you can just pull it back. See? Automatic. It's not a, it's not like a... The load.

The load is automatic. Yeah, but it's not just one arrow. It's like you can have all your arrows in this one thing and just pull it back. Fum, fom, fom, fom. No, no. I got that. But it's like the, magazine, like it's like a magazine that reloads it for you.

Yeah. When you said automatic, I think you were assuming they were just going to go like fire more than one at a time. It doesn't do that. No, but you can just fire over and over again. As fast as you can go. Well, like an automatic gun. You have like an automatic handgun is you got to pull the trigger.

Yeah. Yeah. So I was right. Jay and I talk. Hang up. If you wouldn't let me. Please. Go ahead, Jacob.

I'm sorry. No, no, Jacob. Please. This is a moment. It's your show. No, it's not about that. It's about a moment where Jay is going to actually apologize. Jake, go ahead.

I'm sorry. You were right. I was misunderstanding what automatic meant in that regard, and I came a little skeptical when you were right. Right. I've been wrong before, so I don't, I don't, I'm not mad at you about your skeptic, skepticism, skepticism. Skeptitism.

Sism. Skepticism. Thank you. Man. I think I'm a little flustered that you actually apologized. I wish we handled our problems more like baddies, dude. Christine just roll their eyes. This is what the baddies can't do.

They can't work out like that. Maybe I was wrong, girl. You guys don't want a fist fight? No. No, we can't. One of the baddie fist fight. We got to take a break. They fuck each other up.

One guy said they got punched so hard as soon as she got punched, a fucking welt, like a knot jumped up on her head. Several of them have double black eyes. Like, they don't fuck around. These girls rule. They got a cuthirtion. A contusion? What's up, Jacob?

I got to make a new shirt. I was only going to mention... Black girls rule? Black girls rule. Jay and I have discussed this before. The Walking Dead, the bow and arrows they used. They have to make their own bow and arrows, so they look like from the Museum of Natural History,

those types of the old-fashioned bow and arrows, they never miss. They're making their own arrows, their own bows. I've never seen them miss on the Walking Dead. Everyone is a headshot. Jacob, they had three to four years to learn. Yeah. You can't become a master at the Bowen Hour three to four years of zombie fighting in real time?

I mean... Sure, it's probably a super quick learning curve. Yeah. Okay. It's just ridiculous sometimes. He's ridiculous. He doesn't think things true. God.

Forget about it. Think about it. It's when I bailed on the show, really. It went from loving the show to I hate watch the show. Jay, you know what we should do in Long Island every time we play there? We should ask for more expensive, expensive gifts every time we go there and see where it drops off. Yeah. I want, um,

next to my God go there. What the fuck do I want? So I could bring home. A necklace. I got a truck. I can bring him anything. How about a necklace? Oh, yeah, that's what it is.

Like a really. Cuban chan. Fancy Cuban, but like the square cut Cuban. And like, I mean, bling down. And 26 inch? 26 inch. Good. 28 inch?

We don't go too crazy right away. Like right on here? Yeah, we don't go too crazy right away. I want an authentic samurai. sword. Okay. From World War II. What are we thinking? 26, that sound right?

26, good. I don't want a bracelet. I want a fucking thick-ass necklace. I want to look like fucking... What's his name? DJ Who Kid. Who Kid? Remember who Kid was walking around?

That guy's going to have back problems with those chains. I want to thank you guys. They listen every day, too. They were big fans of the show. Thank you for bringing all those things on. Thank you guys. I need high quality, too.

I don't want to know. Those shit's going to turn green on me. Thank you so much. It'll bring no bullshit. With her and green, I'm going to fucking sue you. Attempted murder. Bobby Kelly's going to be at the Comedy Mothership in Austin, July 3rd to the 5th, Port Smith, New Hampshire, July 25th, one night only two shows.

After that, Saratoga Springs, September 11th, and 12th, never forget. And then Brooklyn, New York, on September 26th, for tickets and all other tour dates. Visit Punch Up.com. Go to his YouTube page at Robert Kelly Comedy. And, of course, every Tuesday night, you can see. 7 p.m. at the fat black, fat black pussycat lounge at the comedy cellar.

And Big J, he's going to be at the Comedy Zone in Harrisburg, PA, July 10th, and the 12th. After that, he'll be in Winnipeg, Richmond, Long Island, and then for all the tour dates and tickets and all that stuff, bigjcomedy.com, and go to his YouTube page, YouTube.com.

slash at Big J. O'Kerson. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.