The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Subway Bris

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

A homeless man on the New York City subway wipes himself all over the poles to the horror of the passengers. | DJ Lou attends a Dua Lipa show with his girlfriend and tries to dance with the youngsters. | Jacob needs to leave the show early for religious reasons. Jay and Bobby have questions about Judaism. He has an exit strategy for temple just in case any haters try to disrupt the service. Enjoy this new Bonfire episode-never aired as a podcast! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Easy touch. Free To take a On the crazy wind of the night How to get the sun chips Don't say a word Because I already heard

Don't describe how gross It's what you're doing Out of my cheeks I want it all night She says it's all right Ooh we got to time I want a man with the Man, never was just doing their own thing.

No one's involved in this with me. It's a good song. It's a mellow song. Yeah. It's a song that you wind up doing things to. Yeah, like showering. And dancing. What?

Jay dances and showers to this. No, I thought you were talking about you. Slow-hand. I took a big fat fistful of sun chips before and I don't want Lou or Eddie or Luigi to assassinate me because I'm chewing on air. What's his name again? The trucker that called and said he doesn't like you eating on air?

It was it. What was his name? I kept calling him, Ed. It wasn't Ed. J.D. J.D. J.D. Hock. Black Lou really remembered his name.

Yeah. You think Black Lou paid him to sale that stuff? He didn't pay him. He was one of Black Lou's friends. It's probably just a friend that he have over the barbecue. Can you call in and give my grievances as a fan? Yeah. I just hate it.

He chews all the time. Swallows. Makes me sick. You think this song is the song that Trump had in his dressing room when they went back. Yeah. Mrs. Kirk. Take a load off.

You look like your shoulders are tense. Does this help at all? Neither one of us can do a trump. We don't. We neither one of us do a good Trump. No, no. Yeah, you know, let's try it. Let me hear yours.

Oh, I just make it nefarious in general. He's like, you know, get over here and let me rub those shoulders. I don't really do a Trump necessarily. That's just a creeper. be politician yeah just plug it in it's fine his mind ready i like your hands no no that was not good at all i don't know what the else like like like a christopher walkin but like yeah not not even yeah it's terrible that went haywire on you i uh i uh i looked uh i saw uh i saw i saw i said jacob's jewish superhero outfit he has in his backpack he did jacob i

i know you were going to go fight jewish crimes tonight what are you doing what's superhero I don't know, you have a bunch of Jewish stuff in your bag that was sticking out that, I mean, muzzle tough, God bless. Are you doing subway circumcisions on the way home or something? You got a side business? You're going to strap a GoPro to your forehead and bob back and forth on the train. I know those shoes look nice. You're not affording that on this salary, Jacob. Are you doing fucking...

You're doing mouth of circumcisions? Are you doing fucking subway bris? Your new web series, Subway Briss with Jacob Atott? It's not... It's not sanitary in there. Do you have to walk around? that video with that guy that made me want to vomit in the subway? Wow, that, first of all.

That changed that. First of all, what a off-the-subject. That was brilliant. That was really good. Wow, I was blending it into. You didn't want to talk about, you wanted off-the-subject of your Jewish shipping. Well, you know I'm leaving early. We know you're leaving early because you have to go and do your stuff on the subway.

His shift as the Jewish Avenger. Do you have a beret? Do you have a star, David Burray? this guy on the subway some first of all the train's empty so it had to be late at night this guy's on the subway he doesn't even seem homeless well there's the one

he doesn't I mean that I thought he was when he looks like this when he gets when he sees people coming and he stops doing it he doesn't seem home I'm sure he is I guess but he didn't read that way to me at the end of this I think he's a lunatic you got to look at his feet you can tell homeless from their feet

if any part of their foot is exposed It's not, though, I don't think, is it? And I don't know. I don't think so. It might be a sneaker or a flip-flop. But he takes his pants down all the way, stands up on the chair, and then the handles on the subway that everybody holds on the pole. The pole, handle, pole. I don't know if there was a correction, a micro-correction.

I'm not. No, you're a little sensitive to it. I'm, stop right now. I'm sensitive. You are. I know. On this one, you shouldn't be. I'm very sensitive, and you should know that.

We have to paint a picture to the people listening at home. Yeah, but the picture I paid you... The handles are up here. The polls through the middle. It doesn't matter. To someone who knows the subway. Can we take a vote in the room? Christine, don't you fucking turn away from me?

I'm excusing myself from this vote. This far right now. The poll... Subway pool? Was it descriptive enough for the people at home to understand what he was about to wipe his ass on? The handle? The handle? You're saying the handle. I said the pole.

Did I say the handle? You think you said the pole And I corrected you with the handle Is that how you just see history? I have short-term memory problems too I don't know about you know my child's of trauma That you seem to take advantage of That was awesome what you just did

That mental gymnastics was fucking awesome He goes, I said Paul And this guy says handle No no you said handle And I just said Did you? That was beautiful Did you?

Well, that was, I don't know I don't know anymore So the pole You're taking advantage of me because i didn't sleep i mean set the whole scene here all right there's only one person in the there's only the camera guy whoever's filming he's in another car for sure i guess in another car he's filming and this guy is going pole to pole uh taking his pants down and now on the pole it's exactly the handle on the handle pole yeah where most people hold on to yeah it's exactly

Exactly at the height of most people where you put your hand. Oh, yes. And he's opening his asshole and smushing his asshole. He's riding it up and down the pole. Up and down the pole, but not one pole. He's going pole to pole, like a stripper. How many on this? I only see him get two in this, but you have to assume.

You have to assume. This guy's been at work for a while. You have to assume. And here's the thing. It's not pure shit. It's like... It's ash juice. It's ash juice.

Exactly. It's not well-wiped. raped ass and life. You're not going to see it. You will definitely, if you walk in and see shit on a pole, you will notice that. He didn't do that. He's smart. He knows what he's doing.

He put ash juice on the pole. Yeah, juice. So that's someone that's going to dry clear. Yeah, you won't even notice. Like, you'll grab that pole tonight, Jacob. You'll grab that pole tonight, and it'll have his asshole all over it. Yeah. He mushed, yeah, like, liquid shit onto the poles.

It just makes his ass impression. And that's right where you're going to grab. And I'm going to say this. By the way, look at it. He really gets it in there. I appreciate that. No, that's full shit. You just can't see it.

That's not full shit. That's ass juice with a little bit of shit that you will not. Then he goes to the next pole and this next one. Oh, God. I mean, can I just say something? That must feel awesome. I bet it does. That cold cold.

Cooling, yeah. That cooling cold pole right in your asshole. He might be like a dog. By the way, he's extremely homeless. Yeah, his feet, right? feet yeah no shoes no it's so gross i rode the subway today for the first time since seeing this video and i really thought about it i know and christine always said the same thing to do is to just fucking just bite the pole i usually loop my elbow around it but i'm not doing oh great get turd on your

jacket i've seen little kids be little kids and like lick the the pole the pole can i say because they're dumb kids but that's why this is what's happening that's why none of us died from COVID though because we're always got a little bit of shit and turd on us but this is the thing they never wash the train never mind going in and washing the poles they say they do

don't they don't wash the trains they don't at the end of the run you think at the end of the run someone goes in that thing and watch every single train in New York City they go in and scrub poles imagine they spray it down with something no way I think they do the floors I think Bobby's right I don't think

they're washing shit off the poles I bet they wipe the poles. No way, no way. Do you know how long that would take to clean every pole on every train every night? Well, that's their job. Yeah. It would be the job of a cleaner. What do you think they'll clean every building, every room in this building?

How many times have you been in a Delta flight and you found a little cookie packet in the front? I do fucking hate that. Don't you hate that? You think they clean in the subways? I leave traps, by the way, too. I leave tissues and shit inside the little pockets sometimes because I know, you're guys supposed to clean it. You should.

And how many times I've gone. and found someone else's fucking shit, tissues or something. Oh, a peanut on your seat. I watched a, it's a YouTube special on YouTube. It's on YouTube. You can watch in Japan when the train gets to the end of the line.

40 people go into each car and clean everything. And I mean, one person got on the floor with a toothbrush and cleaned the crack in between where the door, the door runs. Yeah, well, there's a billion of them. They need to find work for them. That's not, Japan.

That's China. Huh? China is a billion. Japan doesn't have a billion. It's just a small island off the coast of China. I thought it's all of them and we just say China. No, they hate each other. Japanese hates China.

Why? Well, they tried to kill them. In World War II, they tried to take over all of China. They're very close and then we stopped them. Little Japan was going to take over big-ass China? China was China had no... They killed a few million. Yeah, China had...

He killed 25 million Chinese. They're a bit pissed. China would have been Japan if we let them go, which I think we should have for now. In hindsight, we should have let it go because I like ramen better than I'm like Gen Mugau's chicken. I'm trying to think... Christine, do me favor?

Look at this. Bring up naked Japanese girl and naked Chinese girl and let me see which one I wish would have won the war. You're going to pick Chinese. I know. Although I can't do this game with World War II because I'll be like, you know,

some hot German bitches are much more hotter than a bunch of fucking sad fucking babushka wearing Jew girls. All right, what is this here we're looking at? That's Japanese. Yeah. Christine, could you please type in with Bush? Thank you. Maybe you know what?

I think it's Japanese. I like Japanese. Well, that one right there. Shouldn't that it's not a doll? Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that something in it? That has something in it, right?

Or is that a tumor? There's a pussy inside of it. No, but is that ball? Okay. Oh, that was a guy's balls. Yeah, there you go. Okay. Let's get a pretty one, though.

Yeah, don't. She's very pretty. She's pretty, but don't open it. I don't want one with open. opened up and then Chinese girl nude with Bush don't click on the one with the open badge that's gross I got to be honest with you I think there's some ruffies in there too but I think if I'm going on the I think there's a more fun like what you call it a more fun range of different kinds of attractive to Asian girls and Japanese girls always look

very like it's a very similar thing it's always like they always have like it's like the super pale skin you know what I mean it's always like the school girl look is like the thing they have is like the young scared innocent girl whereas the Chinese are just like hot

in like a regular old Chinese way I don't know what you're saying look at it I'm looking at it what is this? Chinese girl that's Chinese I think the Chinese Bush fat is a little more rogue than the Japanese bush fat But Japanese bush fat is more kept

More Japanese style You know what I mean? I'm going Japanese Well of course you are Yeah well I guess I guess you already do that I can see what Jay saying though I'm not going to turn down either one but

Jay what you're saying is there a little There's more nuances to a Chinese girl There's different faces different boobs Japanese looks all the same Yes That lady right there on the right I forget her name. Yeah, her.

She was in a... Jesus. She's an older. She did a years ago was in a dirty debutante's with Ed Powers, my favorite porn series of my teenage years.

And she... She farts on camera by accident. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a porn video. Jacob doesn't like untamed vagina hair. Are you listening to me at all? I'm sorry, buddy.

This guy came inside of her and then tells her to push it out and she just farts. And then she goes, You're not going to leave that in there, are you? And he goes, no, no. And then it clearly is. But he goes, push it down.

Type in Dirty Debutant's Tiger. I think her name's Tiger or something. Wash your pussy in the sink. You can wash your pussy in the sink if you want to. That's disgusting. While she's looking up that fart, Lou, you went to see Dua Lepa. Does that mean tulips? I don't know what it means.

I mean, it's two butt cheeks, I can tell you that. Yeah, why I can say we're out the whole time? Yeah, that's all, she's dressed in lingerie. Everyone in the audience, this is that MSJ the other night, everyone in the audience. She's dressed six luts? Yes. Really? Yeah, lingerie.

They all dressed like Dula Lipa. And then just you. And then just me. Yeah, I was sore thumb. Did you do the part, though? Did you do the part? Bye, bye, bye, Pearl, Jane. With which song?

Dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dib-dibib. Yes, I recorded that. part too and I recorded me dancing it's in your email Christine if you want to get off an Asian puss for a second Lou let's not throw directions at her so fast trying to find something here throwing it out there trying to find this girl queef or fart rather fart whatever super brown Chinese asshole yeah she wasn't very hot and just the way she farts made me laugh so and it was one of those we like took the like stole the video from our friend's dad who had like VHSs of the stuff and it was

was just one of the ones we had in there, and I was watching that scene. And it's like such a bummer, you can't really share it with anybody. You just know it exists. But I found it on the internet before or since. But, I mean, when I was a kid, we were having that fart. And when a friend would come over,

you'd have to do the admission of like, all right, I stole this tape. But you have to watch how funny this thing is. Christina Vamp so long, you definitely found it. No, she didn't. Dirty demiton's, tiger, fart. She's got, uh, Leap, Chopa, Leipra. What's her name?

Dupa lupa? Dupa. What's her name? Duolipa. Who is she now? She's a British pop star for about 10 years now. She's Albanian and her ass is pretty good. I've never didn't see her face. That's not

it. That's a retarded Chinese girl. We don't want to watch that. That's not her. Good. So, is this your girl? This is your girl. Yeah, she loves her. Yeah. No, this was actually Lou. He was like a girl. Is it Lou? She thought it was gay. Lou, it must crazy the change from going to see like everyone over 50 at pearl jam and then you go here and it's just a sea of hot women it was yes but there was an older couple in our row which was older than me so i felt pretty good why just because i wasn't the oldest person there but it was a lot of you're the second oldest person there doesn't feel any better in an arena at the time it did it's just me and you old timers what do you think they said about you Oh, thank God.

Another older gentleman's here. I don't have to worry about sitting down 20 minutes into this shing ding. Hey, do they take AARP over there at the sandwich place? Grisian, you found that fart, right, for sure? No, I did find an anime of a tiger coming inside someone. Nope, but not finding the actual... Do you type in Dirty Debutton? I'm sorry, did you say an anime of a tiger coming into a woman?

Yeah, this minotaur comes inside. tiger this is what are you doing yeah this is i don't want to see that ever it's not real so i don't care it's not real but it is disturbing no it's not if it was a real minotar fucking a tiger maybe did they have real minotas just do deri debitans fart take out everything else in there so you were dancing were you did you ease into it or did just come out of you i i didn't dance but then she plays with one cover song every show and she played blondie one one way or another, I'm going to get you, get you.

So I dance to that. How do you get to that song? My same bop dance I do everywhere I go. That's just the bop dance. I've never seen a lot of your bop dancing. Because last time we tried to bop dance in here, you stopped immediately on your first bop. Oh, I do stop immediately. I want to see you shake your money maker.

I do, too. I want to see you bop dance. So this is like the one rock song she does. So I'm like, okay, now it's my turn to dance. Right. And. Whoa. Nice.

Oh my God, though. You have a stripper in you. That's all you got. That's all I got. It's like 10 seconds. You don't do anything to the music that was playing at all. Yeah. That was crazy.

You were dancing like Blondie. Yeah. Were you listening to Pearl Jam in your ears? Did you have earbuds? Airpods in? Stock footage. You could cut it into anything. You were dancing like an old woman.

That's how I dance That's how I dance So we're on the side of the stage And so we were getting the butts of all the dancers And so we were really pretty close Watch me zoom in there Oh And all she does is wear lingerie and strut around

Yeah she has this like hip butt dance That she just does all the time Yeah I can't tell she's a good dancer or not Do you think if you saw up that skirt You'd see her do a leapa Two lips And her ass is phenomenal You guys must not speak

Latin And can you play the next one J's song? Two Olippos Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah This would be the song you do You'd cha-cha too

Or you're on Dancing with the Stars I'd be better than Corey Feldman Damn right you'd be It'd be You'd be better than Hugh Jack What are you doing now? Are you dancing to this? I'm doing the clap. Oh, there. Here comes Naila. She's in heaven.

Oh, wow. Holy shit. I've never seen somebody enjoying something more. She's really feeling it in her soul. What the fuck? That was awesome. How do you keep up with that? You know, you just hang on. Do you feel bad that you're not enjoying it as much as her? I faked it. Is this her one dance she does? That's not even the one dance I was thinking of.

The pencil sharpener? What is it? It was called the pencil sharpener. Did you make that up or it was on there? That's what it said. I thought you made you know dances. You know the pencil sharpener? Pencil sharpener.

Well, I mean, the dance that I'm desperate to learn is called so many different things. The V-step, the something else. but it's called many different things happy feet didn't paco do it yes oh sorry dude listen

what I brought it up and I apologize I know you want it I want it so bad why don't you go why don't you have paco on the row of you for a weekend and spend your off time

with him training me training like are you dancing yes we'll do the lift you think we do the lift buddy it would take one weekend

maybe two hey hey Paco I love you When are you working locally again Take him on the weekend and spend the weekend training I thought he was doing DC with me And then he had the bail Buddy 10,000 hours dude

Put in two And you'll get it down And then you dream Just one more thing in the bucket list That's just checked off Would you do If you learned how to do the dance Would you break it out a lot?

Yeah I'd find reasons In front of different groups though It would have to be a real reveal In front of all my different groups of friends At different times What would be in front of skanks? Hmm?

Like in the middle of skanks We'd just get up and do it? Possibly, yeah There's probably a time on skanks I could find to get up And do like an abrupt movement And then people would kind of be like Oh shit

Every time you get a good one in You just get up and break it out Last week when I got a good one And I did a complete lap around the room And shook everyone's hand in the audience That's awesome I really accept my kudos when I get a good one They said that gay blind mic looked like Lee Harvey Oswald or a Lee Harvey Oswald, and I called Lee Harvey Oswald, see Hardly Oswald because of gay blind Mike brought the room down.

You get a really good at those. Brought the room down. Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. Jacob. Can you watch Ghosts, please? Go ahead. Hang on real quick before you. So you're leaving early today.

A few minutes. And what is this? I just don't know. Because I, you know, I'm fine with religion. I love that you're going over. But what is the stuff you have to carry? Is that a Torah? No, walk around.

Is that the Torah? I don't know. Is that the Torah? Is it the Torah that Jesus? Like the one? No. Moses had? What is it?

What do you have to carry? Is it one of the tablets of the 10th Amendment? No. Is that a humika holder? I don't want to bring the mood down. It's not a marood. What the hell is wrong with you? Christine just brought the mood down with that anti-Semitism.

He did that. He's a story, and he deserved it. We don't need that right now. We don't need that right now. We need people to come together. I just want to know what it is. Like, do you have to... It's, um, it was my dad's.

It's your dad's yamika? Yes. Prayer, what? His shawl and his yarmica. So it's a yamika and a shawl and you put it on, so you go home tonight and you'll pray with the... That's cool. What's wrong with that? By yourself?

No, I'm going there. You got to go to a Jewish temple. Yes. All. Be careful. Believe me, I check the corners nonstop. This place says no security. Oh, shit.

Oh, my Lord. Trusting Jews. Do they have one that you can go to that has security? Not the one I'm going to. This one's like, they have cameras like, okay, I'm going to, I get to see the person. We'll get to catch the person that kills you. It's great that it's on camera and all. It will not be in vain.

We will catch them. Yeah, me and Jay alone will catch them. avenge me we will avenge you and then when we do catch him jay's going to do his dance yeah oh hey bobby kelly and j oakerson temple detectives a don't a lump of terry co temple detectives would be a funny show it's yeah i mean it's stressful thinking because i mean i'm like going my it's where my head goes back to the front door

every it is every two minutes why would anybody do something tell terrible inside of a synagogue. Oh, I'm sorry. Is there something like that? This stuff, what's happened with Israel and Palestine right now? That's over there. Yeah. But apparently they came here too. Who? Both of them. Palestinians? And the Jews. Well, let's fucking push

them out. Let's go. Whenever Palestinians come, you push them out. Isn't that what we've learned? That's true. You push them out. So when you go in there, do you pick your, do you have like, um, I try to pick, like good seating, I go to the, where there's one escape exit and I, I'm ready, like I plan my escape. Yeah. But I also don't want to be the guy

who, you know, has to mow, like topple over people to think. You got to get around. I want to be a hero and save one person, but I don't know if I'm going to. If there's a baby, grab the baby and run. Easy, like a football. I would take the baby, but yeah, if it's a big guy or something, What am I going to do when you're on your own? You'll leave him. A woman. Do you check out all the fine Jewish asses when you're going to go? Yeah.

Some goodies? I feel like you're not supposed to, but if there's a hot woman, I'm like, oh. You take it in. Yeah, I take it in. Do you have to ask for forgiveness at the end of church for where your brain went? It's all so nice because everybody dresses up nice. It's like you're there to not be a sinner, I guess. And that's all of my mind is in the gutter.

It is, yeah, and don't worry. Listen, it's a nice place, but I mean, it's a nice place. But, I mean, it's a. fat-tit culture Judaism. I'll tell you that. It's a big flopping fat-titted culture. Even the smaller women.

It's just a flopping tit-color. Now, nipple color, it could be better sometimes. Yeah. Nipple colors are weird on a Jewish broad sometimes. Little Carmelie.

Too dark for the rest of it. Yeah. It's a real hard change in tone. It's like milky white to like a brown almost. You know what I mean? The times I went and like the timing when you're specifically supposed to be asking for forgiveness. Yeah.

And my mind is just like, I wish I could just tear this woman's clothes off. In church, in temple. I can't think. Jesus Christ. With your father's cape and his hat. But they're still hot. You could tell they're hot. Do you think that this come out of it because you're wearing your father's stuff and his, his energy is coming through you?

This is what he would want. It is what he would want. Well. Yeah. Jacob, you should put it to clean up a wife in Temple. Yeah. Look at these fucking... These are Jewish tits, right?

The two in the middle, in the middle all the way to the right. Yeah. The middle all the way of the right. Those are two sets of Jewish tits, if I've ever seen them. They really are. That one right there. That one all the way of the right is like... That's like, yeah.

And there you go. Her right there's he goes. That's a pretty thin, big tit of Jewish girl. But that's the big tit you're going to get. It's a swinger. You get a big ariola, but the actual ariola is way darker than the tit itself. Way darker. Yeah.

It looks like somebody drew it. If you were to draw a titty, I don't like that. Something with that nip color change is aggressive. It's aggressive. And that's what Hitler was trying to weed out. Yeah. And then we stopped them because we can never see progress before it happens. We don't.

We don't. You know what, dude, we lack foresight. If we just want to let Hitler do his thing. dude everybody would have been a Charlie Kirk wife and we lack four skin because of the Jews yeah and now I sit here with my beautiful beautiful circumcised weiner instead of having some floppy foreign thing that everyone seems to be all the hubbub right now damn Jewish tits suck more than I thought I like a big Jewish titty no I do too I'm kidding but I mean they really are fucking because Zubas just it's that change that color change and it's American Jewish chicks

I'm not talking about like Israeli chicks or anything like that they've got a little Sephardic thing Because those are smoke shows For sure I'm not even saying these girls aren't smoke shows I'm just saying when those tits come out If a girl has big tits

When she's Jewish in America A big tits at 18 years old They already look like tits of a 42 year old You know what I mean? They look like they had a kid already Yes Yes they're just fucking heavy Anybody who has a wife who had a kid

The tit nipple color it changes and it looks like the nipple has been through some shit when a girl's got a big tit it's like an old tire on a range rover when a girl's got a big tit and she's young even if you know in the 30s in her 30s those things are going to fall down yeah in the 20s they're still holding this position but in a Jewish girl they're already they're just matronly fucking heavy tits right in high school yeah a big heavy tit a big swing and heavy tits come from now where does it Come from, Jacob. Chosen people.

Yeah, do you know where this heavy tit thing? The chosen people. All you goy and can go get fucking sailing stuffed in your tits and these Jewish braids. Never went, never with a lot of Jewish women. I never experienced this. The last time I was there was like, I would say they were all above 70. Oh, really? You're going to the wrong temple.

I'm not going there to cruise. Why not? You got to go to fucking sexy temple. What's the sexy? Christine, look up where's the sexiest temple. I don't know where that is. I don't know where that is. Buddy, you got to go to a different temple.

See what the sexiest temple is, please. Buddy, when I go to an AA meeting, you think I'm going to an old-timers meeting? No way, dude. I'm going to a young people in AA. Hell yeah. I want to see a blonde chick shaking. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Bobby and Lou get there early in Edge. Yeah, we edge, and then we donate, right? And we donate $5 each into that bucket with little jizz on it. Yeah. Right, Lou? Just like that guy rubbing his ass juice all over the subway. Bobby gives cum dollars to the fucking bucket. Yeah.

It's been a rough. year i'm trying to find some heavy jewish tit i have my dad would have loved that oh we all would have it's because he's a man yeah he'd love for you to have some heavy jewish tit tonight yeah yeah jacob that's all you need to concentrate on find a heavy titted woman to love you how great would that be how great your house to home you know how warm you're going to be inside those tits yeah very warm nice little pillow yeah like hon solo and a taunton that's absolutely right on the planet of Hoth. It was before the Battle of Hoth. Yeah.

Yep. Right. The battle of him. It's the only battle I know of any Star Wars, the battle for Hoth. It's the only one he knows and he pulls it out of a hat. Thank God you brought up an Empire Strikes Back reference. Buddy, tonight. Tonight, dude.

Now, can I ask you a question? There's not going to be anyone there. Jacob, this can't just be about your father. It's how it's supposed to be about getting Jewish pussy at a temple. Have you seen your father's hood? yet his cloth what is it called tallus the top you put it over your shoulders right yeah uh what if it's like have you seen it does it have like was he a pimp did it have like pimps and stuff on it my dad was very religious really so he had uh he put a lot of uh it was it was important him so i got

it so i say you wear it from the studio to the temple no i'm not doing that if you really care about your dad you do that draw red circles and a bulls I want you to walk right through that. You be loud and proud, buddy. Yeah. I want you to walk right through that cluster of people in front of that halaw truck. No, thanks. I want you to walk right through that and be proud.

I'm going incognito. Even when I walk in? I'm actually going to send, you're going to take the subway, right, right now? I don't want you to do that. I'm going to send a black car for you. It's going to pick you up right over on the other side by Fox News. Listen, it's going to pick you up over by Fox News, and I'm going to need you to go over there and really just rock that.

cape, if you could, over by Fox News for a couple minutes. And Black, Lou's going to film you. They're going to try to light you on fire like the Christmas tree. Do you know, when I go into the temple, when I get close to the door, I act like, oh, I'm not going

in, and then I'll kind of walk past and just look, look, left and right, and then go in quickly. I'm going to go fuck up some of these Jews. I'm so paranoid. And he spray paints the swash sticker on the front, motherfuckers, and sneaks in. Yeah, he goes, hey guys, sorry. I had to do everything I had to get in here.

Well, that's good. How long is service tonight? I guess it's a shorter one. Tomorrow's all day. What's all? What? Yeah. You're going to go all day tomorrow?

It's for my dad, yes. Can you take pictures of the heaviest tits of the temple for us? Yeah, real quick. I can't. I'll give you my Rayban glasses. You're going to be bummed. Well, not those ones. But that's what's going to be there.

Hang on one second. Pause. You can take those ones too. Okay. That's just not get crazy. I'm sorry. I got selfish. He did.

It's okay. I made it about me for a fucking change. I know Jay wanted to see, would want to see them today. He would. Yeah, he doesn't know. He doesn't, he hasn't tasted the soup yet. No, I haven't. The forbidden fruit.

Ooh, the forbidden rotten fruit of old tit. You think those nipples are brown? Wait until you see an old Jewish tit. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'd have to assume, yeah. Yeah, and then they fall off around 80.

Jesus Christ. Buddy. My fucking mom's nipples must look like Binford, fucking Binsford, charcoal nuggets at this point they look like Oreo cookies just dusty black dusty nipples my mom had some dark nips some big nipple balls how did you know

oh my mom I saw my mom top us a lot when I was younger she was turning me into her little gay son she was so close she was so close I mean she has no idea oh she does she sees your outfits well she didn't see me dance in the shower the way she wants no see now look it can I just say something about this what well let people know what we're looking at

here Christine just keeps bringing up pictures of a big Jewish tits, which, thank you, Christy. I love a big old Jewish, not Jewish, but big old titty on a woman. Do you? I, and I think it's from this movie I saw once. I don't know, you're good at recalling movies.

It was a movie, Italian woman, old, older Italian woman like that, and there was a mentally challenged, or as you say, retard. That's what I say you're saying? Yeah, as you said, as you said, you're sick of calling. the mentally challenged let's just go back to what it was pillow talk all right sorry mentally

challenged uh the todd um he had a kid downstairs and she got mad at her husband and the kid came up to kind of help her out and she uh she winds up blowing him it's a movie not a porn movie american movie yeah american movie and a big italian woman like a you know american italian yeah Big titty lady Why is it blowing the mentally challenged kid The husband finds out and gets mad Christine, you're writing these keywords here? Yeah, and fans, please, if you find out

What this movie is, send it in tomorrow Yeah Because I'd like to watch it again because I can't find it It really made me excited And by the way, in the interim, I'll find the Derry Debuton's fart Don't worry Yeah, we'll get it We'll get it. We'll get the actual tape

We can get the tape. Absolutely. Are you going now, Jacob? Yeah, if shit goes down And you see footage, I hope. You got it. It's of me saving someone and not knocking someone over to get to the door. That's weird. I feel like the video we're going to find it.

I'm going to save someone. I think the video we're going to find is you being thrown back and forth in a subway as you will never hold the poles ever again. Do you think I've ever held one of those poles? I do. Never. You have a hold a pole in your life, a strip of pole. Yeah.

Sexy beast. And then a guy's pole. Yeah. You love, you love guy poles and strip a pole. There's nothing funnier than the last three minutes of radio when we're just like, You don't want to start a new subject, so we're just like, I just, we'll keep making fun of Jacob, touching Dixwell. Jacob, remember when you also sucked guys' cocks before? Yeah.

Where are we at, 44? Three more minutes, Jacob. Ask forgiveness for that tonight while you're wearing your dad's hat. Yeah. Go put on your cape. I love you, dad. Go put on your cape and go get a... God bless you, man.

Have fun tonight. And I miss you. And don't... You know what? If something happens... Check out some tits for him. Your dad would have loved that. He loved hot women.

He did. And he got a lot of them. Do you guys drink wine at this thing? Yes. Nice. You can get tuned up a little bit tonight? I think there was their 6th anniversary.

Oh, man. Yeah. Well, that's great, man. Enjoy yourself tonight. Thank you. Happy past, what is it? What is it? Russia Shana.

Russia Shana and what's the other one? Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur. Oh, that's next week. You got two? You got to leave next week, too? Wednesday. Jesus Christ.

All right. All right. Well. All right. If I see any, I'll try and take Tittypicks for you. Thank you. Just get this safe. I know you want them. Just take the quiet walk now.

I'm always, even, no matter what, the bonfire is always with me. That's right. We're always with you, buddy. Then wear your stuff on the subway. No, I'm not doing that. And let Lou, follow you. Shit mush pole. I'm not touching any of that.

Take it slow, Jacob. Bye, buddy. Have fun. Find a wife. Sneak in that church. Don't go right in the front door. See if there's a side door. Bye, buddy

He just patted his Jewish friend, Jay Bye Jewish friend Mazel tov Mazel to Shalom Bye, bye, bye, Jacob Happy New York Big Jay He's gonna be

He's all over the place We're ever gonna see him again But no, he's done Take us on all the tour dates Visit bigjcomody.com And his YouTube page YouTube.com slash at BigJ

Okerson Where he's doing live he's got a special. He is probably one of the funniest guys out of maybe five on the planet right now. Oh, you stop it. I'm not, I won't. Well, I know who another one of those five is.

Robert Kelly for tickets in all tour dates. Is this whatever, does it clear you make you stronger? That's right. Yes. Punchup.org slash Robert Kelly for all tickets to all of his shows. You can check out Bobby's YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy.

And, of course, at the village underground, fat black pussycat. every Tuesday night. I love when you say that. Is this a movie profoundly normal? Christy Alley. Is this it? Profoundly normal?

No. Oh. What is that? That's one of the results from the keywords I put in for the mentally challenged blowjop movie. We're such strong women. Maybe.

Send that to me. I'll watch it tonight. We'll catch you guys tomorrow again right here, live at 5 Eastern. Two Western and then a different time in the middle. Crackle, crackle.