The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Swayze's Tushy

Episode Date: March 29, 2024

The gang compares the new Roadhouse movie to the glorious old one.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Yeah, man, that's that's Jimmy Walker and the Smoky Nuts. Nope. That's ah That's Johnny Kane and the Willy Mammoths No That's one-eyed Willie and the sister sisters No, okay That's uh, that's Mikey and the Mickeys. No, Nope. Okay. That's uh, that's Mikey and the Mickeys. No, you're closer with the Jays though.

It's the Jeff Healy band. Jeff Healy. From the Roadhouse. From the film Roadhouse. Well, also his one, what was his biggest hit? Angel Eyes, right? That was the one. That was a good song. He was great. I liked him, cause he was blind. He was so blind. Played that slide guitar. He was great. I liked him because he was blind.

He was so blind. Played that slide guitar. He had to. No, there's plenty of blind guys playing regular guitar. That was a joke, Jay. Oh. I didn't know you were going to CSI it. We check the prints on this thing before we walk away. Yeah, that's wrong. He could stand up and play.

Let's at least just take some prints. Did you know the chicken wire in Roadhouse was so he didn't fall off the stage? True. They do that on every show he does. Yeah, no matter what. In case he steps forward. Sir, the chicken wire wasn't to protect him from you. It was to protect you from him falling, going careening into the front row. Yeah, with that stupid slide guitar that hurts. I see Jacob drinking it in.

Jacob, did you know this song when I started, when I played it? Yes, I knew. Do you remember the scene? I don't remember. It's hard for me. I only heard the voice. It's hard for me to hear the song. It's the end credits. So the guy goes, start the song over again.

When I, when I, after I say this line, Lou, he goes, a polar bear fell on me. And then everybody had a good laugh. And then you see one more time, they show you from a distance, Patrick Swayze's bird ass as he runs and jumps, dives into the lake and then him and the girl kiss naked. And the credits start rolling to this song. Do they show his junk? Way distance, drone shot. Thank God. Smokey. Well, not. Drone shot. Thank God. Well not drone I guess.

Far away. What was it called? Crane shot? Crane shot. They didn't have drones back then. Yeah, crane shot of his dork flapping around. He dives in. Flat ass. Who? Patrick Swayze? Yeah, not a good ass. You're wrong about that. Not a good ass. You're completely wrong about that.

If you... I'm not. He has a flat booty. Here's completely wrong about that. If you um not he has a flat booty Here's the problem with you Jay. How dare you? You either like a really fat one or really like just no ass on the guy Look, I don't want him to have a fucking a black woman female rappers ass But the guys got a nice roundy on them They show it several times when he's holding the girl fucking her standing up fantastic ass. Flat butt Like when he did that dance with Farley, you could see no ass. You gotta start from the very, very beginning of this, Lou. And you can put this on this.

Also fun fact, he smoked four packs of cigarettes a day. Wow, they're just doing credits. Can't just be the credits. It's gotta be right before the credits. We actually found that out, because he died of cancer. Jeff Healy? Fun fact. No. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Lou's funze. Oh, Patrick Swayze smoking. Yeah, he did it. It was too tight. He did it. His butt sucks. No, stop. Okay. Let me ask you a question.

Maybe I'm comparing it to the New Roadhouse with McGregor's butt. I'm comparing it to the New Roadhouse with McGregor's butt. I'm comparing it to the New Roadhouse with McGregor's butt. I'm comparing it to the New Roadhouse with McGregor question. Maybe I'm comparing it to the New Roadhouse with McGregor McGregor's butt. Well, that's fantastic. I know but it's a great as there's only he was all roided up There's only two guy asses in the movie one in each movie and I would take McGregor's butt over. Is there only two asses? No, there's more than one ass in the original who's other ass one of the best scenes when I was really little was when he goes into the

He goes into the yeah into the closet and the guys fucking the chick and he goes you're fired and you go I'm on break The girls just got her titties hanging out. He was just giving her the biz in the fucking storage room That was a great scene that scene was awesome hot Great view of no ass. Okay, here's a great view of no ass. Okay, that's no ass. No ass. No, no, no.

That's no ass, he's got no ass. Look at him shaking nothing. No, he's next to Chris Farley. Buddy. Who's morbidly obese. If that was on a woman, you'd be like, she's a crack addict. He's got a crack addict ass.

You're crazy. I'm telling you. Christine, find Patrick Spade's ass in Roadhouse immediately. And he's got a little winger too. He's got a little tiny of gas. You're crazy. I'm telling you. Find Patrick's ass in Roadhouse. And he's got a little winger too. He's got a little tiny poo poo pekka. The guy may have a little tiny poo poo pekka. Bobby, he shows his ass and the girl loses her mind. The girl loses her mind?

In the barn. Yeah. She's all like, can't, she starts sweating. The goofy waitress from the fucking bar? And on today's episode we're going to be breaking down this new Roadhouse. And I will say one of the first things I had a problem with. One of the few scenes they actually recreated was the girl who works at the bar at the roadhouse,

just like a bartender girl or server girl coming to his place to give him breakfast one morning. And she is... He's not gonna be interested in her because the idea is she was kind of playing like the homely chick. But, unique look, that was an actress who again has been in a lot of things.

I reckon, I don't know her name off top of my head, but she's been in a lot, she has that puppet mouth and she ends up singing in the movie at one point. But she, her character, she must have been so upset when they just replaced her with a big fat lady. Yeah. With no character or personality at all, just a big fat lady came just so they could show that a fat lady wants to fuck Jake Gyllenhaal.

Yeah, they threw an Antifa fat chick in the movie. It was insane. Yeah. It was insane. No point. Yep. Didn't care. And this is what I will start off.

This whole movie should be called, Why Would I Give a Shit About Any Person in This Movie. Absolutely. No interest. They took multiple characters, I'll explain, and they split them into two different characters to make sure they covered every race and creed and background. But they made everybody... The thing about the original movie, there was superhero qualities like Undefeatable qualities to your your guy in this one. He he had issues

The first one he had no issues. They were he had issues, but you didn't see them I don't want to see a flashback to his whatever got him to where he was. He was cool as a cucumber He knew how to deal with shit. He had money. I don't like that they made... And he had at one point, at one point of the movie, he had, like I said, he was pretending to be like, you know, they didn't have any issues. And those issues were... He had killed in his life exactly one person. And I will say in the original, what drove him to killing again was insane, something that happened to him that was crazy.

In the original film, and there's spoiler alerts in this by the way, and we're gonna be jumping around. In the original movie, the reason that he is killed before in his past was, as Sam Elliott explains, that he was hooking up with a girl, he didn't know she was married, guy came home and put a gun in his face, was gonna kill him, so he had to kill the guy.

Yeah, he had him a gruber. It was him or him, right? Him or the other guy. He had a throat rip. And he ripped the guy's goddamn throat out. Throat rips, one, bop, bop. One complete throat rip. It's a fantastic move, I'd say borderline impossible by any stretch of physical imagination. I've done it. Ripped the guy's throat rip. It's a fantastic move. I'd say borderline impossible

by any stretch of physical imagination. I've done it. Ripped a guy's throat out. I've done it. Do you regret it? No, I don't. I did for a long time, but therapy, that's where I go to therapy.

People don't think I go to therapy over addiction. I go to therapy over my throat rip at 14 and a half. I wish we could film me going to a meeting and saying to people, it's been about 25 years since I ripped a man's throat out with three fingers. I was trying to stop local mafia. It's three fingers and a thumb. I was at a Dunkin' Donuts in Quincy.

It was actually the fifth member of the boy band. It was one of the Wahlbergs. Listen. Where in the movie is the butt? I pulled up the full movie, because I couldn't find it in the book. Right before the end when he j- when he dives into the thing I'm trying to show when they have his little wiener flapping around. A polar bear fell on me.

And? Hmm. Everyone has their little laugh. Heely starts wailing. He doesn't know it's empty there. No, he has no idea nobody's there. Smoke is in your eyes, you've all smiled. Come on, give me this flapping wiener.

From the fireplace of a mansion city. I gotta watch Roadhouse again, the original. Look, there it is. Wiener! Go back, go back. I'm not so excited about that. Hang on Bobby relax a little bit go back a little bit Please christine. Oh, so is it if you can it's up to you. Not that I care whatever about seeing here We go wiener flapping wiener. That's a stunt wiener women don't like big tits by the way Watch this movie seven thousand times never noticed from that moment there There's just another random person sitting in the back

while they're fucking running around, Nate, who's that person just having a picnic and then a naked wiener runs by you? That was a key grip. God, I gotta look. Who's that? That's the... Is that Jeff Healy?

I think that's Jeff Healy. It may have been Jeff Healy. It's funny, they stuck the blind guy down here. Wait, so you don't see his butt in this at all? Is that Jeff Healy? No, you can see his butt in the very beginning. Go way earlier in the movie when he first wakes up after the first night. If you go through the thumbnails quickly, I can tell you where it's at.

I know this movie by heart. It's right when he wakes up in the barn the first night. She has... Christine's got the movie retention of a dumb monkey. I've seen this movie like once. Right. I think you just say monkey. No, I don't think all monkeys are dumb. Okay

These are the problems we deal with over here at the bonfire. It's all right. We got you got it. You're doing a good job Keep going. Keep going Nope It's further keep going. It's further. Nope. Beep-bop-bing-bing-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop But more significantly more significantly substantially more substantially even a better word than significantly and then Right there That butt stinks go back just a little bit this poor girl this poor girl that is now being played by this Fat dork with glasses on this poor Jewish woman that is in the south. We got to get everybody involved now I guess here we go, he gets up. Boo.

Whoa. Come on, that thing's fucking, that's a work of art. Carved out of stone. It's gabage. There's no cheeks, it's all bone. There's no cheeks, it's all bone. Bone. You can see, ugh.

Look at that muscle. That is kind of a little baby ass. It's a baby butt. That's a 10 year old lacrosse boy ass. That's disgusting. How do I know that? I know the whole world has turned on Dalton. How do you turned on Dalton I don't know I've never seen it I mean look at this but look at he's gonna flex it to to just give it a little oomph and then how about later when he bangs the

chick and he's holding in the air Christine thumbnails please this stinks he's good so you can see the hair at the top he didn't get his butt she smells like tobacco go back to the thumbnail Lou said it smells like tobacco it smells like an ashtraynails if you wouldn't mind? Go back to the thumbnails. Lou said it smells like tobacco. It smells like an ashtray. You know he smokes in between scenes. No, I'm going this way. He just farts out cigarette smoke.

Way more. He was a real cowboy. He had a ranch. Way more. Unlike Jacob, who's not a cowboy. I'm a cowboy. You're not a cowboy, Jacob. That's a cowboy.

When does she go back to his house? There he goes, lighting up the thing that killed him. Right here. Now wait, okay, click it right there. Right here. Doesn't have an ass. You guys are monsters. She has a better, look at her ass, it's awesome.

That's a good ass. Grip it, dude. She's tiny 80s white girl ass. I like it, I like a nice tiny. By the way, I like, I didn't think Kelly Lynch was that hot. She's hot. All around. Listen, it did't think Kelly Lynch was that hot. She's hot. All around.

Listen, it did the job for me for sure. She had good 1980s fake cans. She's very tan for being in Missouri. They had little softballs. Here we go. Pump. Pump it. Oh, pump. I saw this scene with my mom since I was a child

7,000 times. You ever try to bang like that and your back gives out? I've done very few hold you in the air fucks. I knew it was a bad idea young. Yeah, I can't pick Dawn up like that. I used to have a tiny girlfriend when I was right out of high school and still it felt foolish. You have to have a crazy hog to make that awesome. Yeah, you have to real big hog and no bush fat.

All those things come into play. Yeah. You're right. You can't have any bush fat. All those things come into play. Yeah. You're right. Can't have any bush fat. Uh. Give it to her, dude. Uh. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. He's holding her up. Uh. He's got it. I feel every pump. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. RIP me in two, Patrick Swayze. I become her.

Uh. He's got no butt. And now he's going to be outside, and he's butt naked. Yeah, butt naked. His now he's gonna be outside and he's butt naked. Yeah, butt naked. His ass is so great that he just lives life butt naked. He doesn't care. Look at her, she's smokin' hot.

From back then, look at that, show a little, there it is, just a little aerial. Yeah, Kelly Lynch. Does she have tiny little implants? Yeah, she's got softball implants. It does look like she has little tiny little implants. She has the first ones that killed you. It's like nitroglycerin and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah. Look at his little butt. I bet that hurt sitting on a shingle, he's got no protection. It's like your Buffalo Bill girlfriend. Mm. Yeah. Yeah, he's not. This girl's got way bigger titties.

Dude, he is not. He's got no ass, dude. No ass. Better ass. I'll say better ass in New Roadhouse. McGregor's butt is nice. Okay, I'm gonna give you. If there's one thing I have to say better

that's New Roadhouse, it's the quality of male ass. That's it? That's it. I agree with you. That's it. I'll give it to you. The quality of male ass. Male ass in the New Road... They nailed it. Can you bring up McGregor's ass in Roadhouse?

I mean, it is, except for the little bruise on his leg, which threw me off. Well, he's bigger than he's ever been in that movie. Yeah, well, he's going up in weight class to fight somebody, he's doing one-seven. He ain't gonna fight. He's fighting, he's fighting. He's coming back, he just said it.

He goes, they were like, you're gonna do more movies? He's like, no, I'm going back to the ring. I'm going back to the octagon, I'm gonna train, and I got two more fights in my contract. And then he's out. He wants to do the two fights, get out of the deal. And then he'll- So he's gonna accept that Dustin Poirier

just kicks his ass every time? Yeah, but if he gets out of the two fights, then he can go do a Jake Paul fight and make $100 million or do something like that again. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what he's trying to get out of his contract. You can't win!

You can't. That's fair. You can't win! You can't. That's fair. You can't, you goofy fucking shit. Right away, let's just take the idea that original Roadhouse takes place in Missouri, where you can at least slightly believe one old mafia guy can hold the city at siege. This little town at siege.

This isn't happening in Key West. Not only is it not happening in Key West in this movie, the entire plot for the movie, the initial movie was, it was just a big mafia guy basically, who had his henchmen around town, and they just took tax from everybody. They went around and if you didn't give them X percentage of your money as a business,

they'll fuck you up. Well, if you didn't give them $48 from your car supply store, which is... They'll burn your place down. That is the thing, he wants to dominate the place and the guy who owned the road house was sick of taking that shit. He wanted to fight back against this guy

and for some reason he thought a bouncer can do it. I don't know, but it seemed to have worked. But he invites him to, and it's about bouncing. This thing, first of all, if you've ever been to the Florida Keys, there's no bar that's got a problem with fighting. It's where parrot heads go to fucking retire. It's swingers, parrot heads, and drans. Every guy who looks like a tough guy probably wants you to have sex with his wife. It's the only place where Trump supporters and gays actually have a good time together. You go down there, dude, and the world is a fine place.

And the energy of this bar, by the way, that bar had Chicken Wire and a blues rock band playing, the Double Deuce had the blues rock band playing, and the fights would break out with these hillbilly trucker type guys That were going to Key West. It's just it's a tiki bar It's a tiki bar themed play. It was a place that was so nondescript and who gives a shit Well, there's a lot of little keys on the way to Key West. It wasn't Key West. It was key clear key They clear it's fake. It's one of the key towns before you go, whatever. But still, any of the keys, it's all retired,

hippie people, or gay people. Swingers. Swingers. Shit, you're not wrong at all. And so a bar having this kind of problem is why she said she was bringing them there. So they concoct that the bar's got a bad element problem happening to it, which it really didn't. She says, actually I'm here for you to stop a guy who,

they had to make the bad guy of this movie also, side note, doing international drug deals. Because the premise of the movie is, the owner, she, the black lady who owns the Roadhouse. Who has a amount of money, I mean she just has so much money it doesn't matter. Which doesn't make, go get another bar.

It's, here's the initial problems with the whole concept of this. Get another bar because they're just the last hold up. Everybody else agreed to sell their business and I'm sure a grotesque profit because the guy wants to build a resort. There's no real nefarious intentions here. He just wants to buy, and like, why are you holding out?

We bought every other property to build this resort that people can come enjoy on the Florida Keys. It's like. Yeah, but you keep this shithole. He wants to keep a place that seems to be the one bar in the Florida Keys that has a major violence problem. Yeah, and a bookstore that is run by a 12 year old 12 year old half black girl half black girl which doesn't make any sense yeah in this

story by the way the white mom ran off what's happening seems like a very black man taking care of his head was this guy Drake say whatever you want this is your show too the bookstore? You can say whatever you want. This is your show too. The bookstore infuriated me. First of all, it's so dumb. You can't keep a bookstore open in Manhattan, but they thought, let's open a bookstore for the 12 people in this fan fictitious key. I love reading in the heat.

That's what I love. A nice sweaty paperback. And then this asshole, Jake Gyllenhaal, leaves them the money so they can piss it down the drain redoing this stupid bookstore. A useless bookstore. That's never going to turn a profit. This is the thing that made me, out of all the stuff that pissed me off about this movie, McGregor smiling the whole time like a leprechaun, like a, okay, when they, this makes me so mad

when they fucking do this. He has a million dollars that you can just take and he gives it all. 100%, yeah. To this black dude and his daughter at a bookstore. Just show me that you have a little duffel bag. Took a little piece. You got no money, you got a knife wound

in the same exact spot. Jesus Christ, that thing keeps opening up huh? In three weeks. You got the shit kicked out of you. But it heals the next day. Yeah, where's this guy's fucking organs? Okay, I'll take all that. Just show me, take a little of the money.

There's no way any human being is gonna have that much money and just say hey I don't need this. He informs you he's not a good person. You went down there for the money right didn't he go down there? Exclusively. Exclusive for the money. Well that's what's great about the original he was Dalton was loaded. Well that's the only thing he was loaded but also that's the thing you know Dalton he had to Dalton had to, you know, Dalton, he had to... Dalton had to kill a guy because he had a gun in his face. So he had to kill a guy in his past. Jake Gyllenhaal killed a guy who was, like,

sort of a friend of his in the octagon, in the ring. And I will go on and say this from the rooftops forever. Do they not know enough about MMA to know that this is a referee's fault? A referee's fault! That death is 100% on a referee. But it's, he said it, he goes once I get, I can't go back. A flip switched in his head and he went mental. He murdered a guy with no- Dylan is a psychopath. He cold blooded killed somebody.

Cold blooded killed somebody. The guy, he busted a guy with no... Dylan is a psychopath. He cold blooded killed somebody. Cold blooded killed somebody. The guy, he busted a guy's throat and then watched him drown in a fucking pool. That was his first kill. Vicious, violent death on a guy. And I go back to say that in the original. His friend. They, Wade Garrett, who is the only character

they didn't substitute for. I can't believe it. And the thing about giving a shit about people, they made you care right away when he got to town. He goes to the auto parts store and meets Red, who ends up being the mother or the father of the doctor, his girlfriend. Don't forget, before that, what they did was genius. He came down in a brand new coupe, Mercedes.

I got money. Then he drove down and bought the baddest, do the lights work and they open up, you're like, this motherfucker just bought a bad ass shit box. He just bought a shit box and put, what do you get, like seven tires in the trunk? Put seven tires in the trunk because he knows what's gonna happen

and then he puts his car under the tarp and he drives his shit box into town to get some, I mean, dude, come on. By the way, when that Mercedes peeks out again, you know what it is? He's so furious and he's lost his shit. Well, again, because there's a great scene. The bad guy, the mafia leader, Brad Wesley,

calls Patrick Swayze and he goes, enough of this shit. He's like, one of your people's going to die. My ex-girlfriend, calls Patrick Swayze, and he goes, enough of this shit. He's like, one of your people's gonna die. My ex-girlfriend, who's his current girlfriend, the doctor, or your best friend. We got one of them's gonna die. I'm flipping a coin, and then he goes, hmm, I'd love to tell you how it turns out.

And then he hangs up the phone, and Sam Elliott comes in all busted up. They beat the shit out of him. We killed him. No, no, no. First they beat the shit out of him. We killed no no first They get the shit out of them and then he goes. Oh shit. He goes that means they're gonna kill The doctor he goes and gets the doctor. She's fine. He goes. Let's get out of town We're out of here And then he goes back to the bar to get Sam Elliott and flips him over and there's a knife in his chest

Not only a nice says with a note says it was tails. Oh and there's a knife in his chest. And it says, with a note, it says, it was tails. I'm getting goosebumps right now because that's why he goes, he immediately grabs the Mercedes, puts a knife in the gas, on the gas pedal.

Impossible to do, by the way. I think if you put it in neutral and then drop it in the park. Yeah, but you can't stick a knife through a gas pedal. It's metal. But it's okay. I can buy it. I agree with you.

I agree with you. He knifed through his gas pedal. It would take so many times doing it where you'd be like, fuck it, get a brick. And sent that car just for distraction. By the way, you will notice he's wearing a Ghee as a shirt, the very outfit that I, in fact, try to pull off myself. You're not showing it to Jacob, I don't think.

I won't show. It was tails, right in the fucking gun. His Ghee shirt. It's so perfect on him So yeah, and then he goes nuts and starts killing people um Look at the um, oh throat rip time

He's throat ripping. He's already ripped the throat. Yeah, he's already ripped the throat already now He's gonna he just built now. This is the shit that they didn't do in this one. They just made him Oh, I lose my temper sometimes. By the way, and you talk about the corniness that you can deal with in this, the very last thing before he almost kills Brad Wesley in this is him standing over him with the three fingers extended. He's like, I'm gonna do it again

for the third time in my life. Oh, look at the... They killed... They gave him in this movie Jake, Joan Hall They gave his character not a person to give a shit about They tell him he has to go back. They took that girl. They took the girl doctor They took her you have to go back and help his answer should have been why do I have to help? I hung out with her one day on the beach

We didn't we haven't kissed she even took me fucked made out or anything that we hung out once and it was actually she was kind of bitchy and he left Yeah, and they have one bad date even take me to a beach. You took me to a sandbar My feet were wet. My jeans were wet The fuck you didn't get me time to get shorts it. Why would he go back? For her there was no connection They had no connection in that place. I didn't give a fuck about the other bouncers. There was no, the movie was not about bouncing. This was a movie about bouncing.

Here's the thing too, they never, in the original movie, the bad guy was, this is when you knew this guy was crazy. When I actually, I like when I kinda like the bad guy. I want him to lose, but you make something about him so badass, when he, and I'll give you a little trivia thing see if you can get it, when he was driving down the road swerving.

Shaboom, shaboom. What was the song? Ya da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Shaboom, shaboom. Shaboom. Ya da da da da da da da da da da. My grandfather used to, well before that movie came out, used to wake me up in the morning, my grandfather,

because he loved that kind of music, and before that movie came out, used to wake me up in the morning, my grandfather, and he loved that kind of music, and he'd play records like, Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree or Shaboom, Shaboom, and I just remember him singing that, and I'd be like, oh, I have to wake up soon, and then his morning routine was to put a ice cold rag, he would just lay it over my face.

Aw. So adorable, man. That's such a sweet man. Shaboom. Shaboom. Ya da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Shaboom, shaboom. Shaboom, yadadadada. It's cold, papa. Papa, papa.

Buddy, when he was swerving in the road and he just didn't give a shit about this was his road and he almost smashed into Dylan. So they try to redo that. They try to reuse that scene, but Connor McGregor, another thing, cartoonish, like, ridiculousness, he's driving in a student driver car that he clearly... so they're implying he stole the car,

and then he's driving, he's drinking his 15th fresh coconut, and he's got him just piled up on a thing. He just smashes into a tree to park the car and gets out. He's like, hey, boys, I'm here. It's just such, like, this should be animated. It was so bad. Yeah, he was bad. They never showed the dad, right?

I believe they never showed the dad. Nope, just in jail. He's just in jail. I just gotta imagine some badass dude in jail who called Conor McGregor and said, go take care of this. Another thing too. He's not gonna wonder about, I guess,

where that million dollars went either, right? The guy's in jail. That's not gonna be a problem later. And his house is a shithole. How do you have your boat, your dad's boat, so that boat, which is a multi-million dollar boat that you're living on, and then you have this shithole that you let all your little fucking minions stay on,

and it's garbage. You're really gonna, that didn't make sense to me. It's like all these guys, there's a bunch of hippies on the beach, the guy's setting up a hammock. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? He should be, I thought this guy was the richest guy on the island. Jacob? None of them, none of them had a clear plan. First of all, I don't understand why this junior bad guy didn't, couldn't you just offered her a little more money? Maybe that would have solved this whole thing She probably would have maybe just upped the offer to sell the bar. How about just um, but either way

They don't have a clear plan how to run these people off I don't know what they I don't know what they're trying to do to scare them away How about to show them what a badass like angry lunatic this guy is The thing is he's getting mad at his henchmen for nicking him while shaving him on a perfect storm outside of the bow of a boat. Why would... hey, just hold the shave till later. Just shave later when you're not on the boat maybe. Yeah, if you're not an idiot. Crazy for crazy sake. It was so dumb. Yeah. And then he threw his phone. He goes, go get my phone. What't you can't just go get a phone in the middle

The ocean the get the the the sun was like moronic It's the bonfire everybody and you're listening to the podcast version, which is free. Have it's free. You get half the show Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts, right? It's like being half jacked off sign up right now It's serious XM comm slash bonfire to subscribe for the full show. Plus you get all the music channels. You get Howard Stern. You get all the other comedy channels, sports. And to get our full show, sign up for a SiriusXM subscription at SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire.

Support our show. Subscribe. They couldn't have killed a character, including Dalton in this movie, that I would have been like, oh damn, there's some emotional attachment to that. There was nothing. No. And they stayed kinks? There was no character.

The owner of the bar, nothing. Who gives a shit? The doctor, who gives a shit? He had no real friend in this, so there was no Wade Garrett like his mentor His mentor got killed in the original one his best friend and the guy who looked out for me called him me Ho like that was the whole thing he called him son Like that's the whole idea was that like they made you give a shit about characters They made you care about that and also they he smiled too much

kind of McGregor Jake Gyllenor. Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake Gyllenhaal, yeah. They both smiled. You're supposed to be the baddest motherfucker around. Yeah. I love that when, in the original Roadhouse, he came in and he just watched everything. First day.

And then didn't get involved at all. Didn't get involved at all. And you saw him pick up on everything. It was kind of like a detective. He was looking around. He saw the guy taking the money. He saw this, he saw, he knows what's going on. Comes back in the next day and takes care of everything. And then takes the guy with the boot,

throws him outside, I mean. And the whole thing with speech, always take it outside. Don't start anything inside the bar. Get him outside, be nice. Be nice. There's not enough bouncing in the movie at all. No. I don't care about it.

They just destroyed this little shitty tiki bar. It's a dump, by the way. Be nice until it's time not to be nice. Well, how will I know when that is? Because I will tell you. I mean, the baddest motherfucker around. I said this too, without having the best friend like the old-timer guy, one of the best silly lines, if you remember the first time Sam Elliott goes out to help him in

a fight yeah when he's getting his ass kicked outside yeah the liquor the liquor yeah they're holding him against the wall there they got Patrick Swayze you're just beating the shit of him against the wall and then Sam Elliott comes out so it's kicking all their ass and when he's just the first big guy he stomps him in the on the knee yep and he just goes down, he pulls his long hair back, and he goes, boy, that hurt, don't it? I love that, that line.

I'm getting goosebumps telling these stories. It's so good. The writing is horrendous in this movie, and Jay, Bobby, you did say, I do, look, we all know I'm not a racist. Okay, that's not a good start to a science. That's not a good start. Black Lou, air muffs?

Black Lou just started scratching his beard. We all know. But, I had an emotional hatred for the bookstore. Of course. It was so illogical that they opened this bookstore. I hated those two characters so much. They replaced a character that had depth. The father and the thing, the red red.

Yeah, the guy who owned the place. And he was getting and he was like, he even told Patrick Swayze. Don't even bother with that, dude. It's just the way it is here. You got to give him money. If you don't have the money, they're going to fucking not bring some of your shit. So let me ask you a question.

She's going to give him five thousand dollars a week. Right. And he takes the bus? Who, the bad guy? No, Dylan. Oh, Dalton, Dalton. Dalton, Dalton's gonna give $5,000 a week. He's gonna pay her all this money to come down and do this, right? And he takes a... he couldn't be like,

hey, can you get me a 150 Spirit Airlines flight down there, please? I mean, so I don't have to take a 72 hour bus ride. Everything was gonna be Greyhound off of an island. And then he'd gotta get out and walk. What the fuck? Where is he going? I know, how about that by the way? I don't know where he's going.

At one point he was thinking about leaving and he stood in with, by the time he looked back cause he had to deal with something, the bus was pulling off. He's like, oh, now I have to be here for at least three more hours. And the crocodile, fuck you. Watch out for the crocodile.

Okay, I know what's coming. How about this? The place he went and got the houseboat, right? Was it a houseboat he was staying on? It was a boat that you could live on. Yeah, a little, the boat he was living on. They said the guy who runs like the Marine, there was nothing. They you could live on. Yeah, a little boat or something along. They said the guy who runs the Marine, there was nothing, they cut out a character.

The guy who owned the barn who let him live there was a fucking character, it was like a thing. The best. And in fact, that was one of the big angry things. They blew up his fucking, or they set his house on fire, Patrick Swayze saved him, and then went and ripped the guy's fucking throat out. Who did it?

That was the big fight with Jimmy. That was my mom's favorite scene. She goes, when he's running trying to save the old man. Yeah. When he gets the old man, he pulls him out of the fire, and he goes, are you okay? And he goes, I'd be fine if you get off of me.

Which is a great line. But I mean, they just took away... The crocodile bit didn't make sense to me because it had... Okay, so you got to watch out for the what's it had the, what, okay, so you gotta watch out for the what's it, the croc. What? You're like, crocodile?

First of all, alligator's Florida. I know there's crocodiles in Florida, but I don't think crocodile. I think alligator's. Second of all, the first guy that he gets in a fight with at the boat goes in the water. I'm like, he's gonna be eaten by a crocodile. And then a 20-foot crocodile eats somebody. You gotta kind of kill

that thing. You have to. It has to be killed. It must be stopped. By the way I'll tell you if you're listening to this and you're confused, we are doing a fantastic breakdown of this. Stop now and immediately go watch it. And I will say both. Go do the original and then go see what they've done to this. Yeah, it's not okay I would watch watch the first one the second one first No, no, no, no, no, no, cuz you want to see what they're trying to recreate in some parts here Here's what I because I think everybody in the world has seen it The one thing I would say if this was a standalone movie not Roadhouse if it was called Boathouse

I think people would realize the correlations. All right, how about this? if this was a standalone movie, not Roadhouse, if it was called Boathouse. I think people would realize the correlations. All right, how about this? Rough House. I'd say take the house or road out of it completely. I just call it a thing like a- How about this? Tough, Tough Tooties.

Yeah. Yeah? Or like, you know, like Keys to Success. Okay. With the keys, Florida Keys. How about Sandy Tough Times? Sandy Tough Times, I, keys to success. Okay. With the keys, Florida Keys. How about Sandy Tough Times? Sandy Tough Times, I don't mind that. And then I said if they would have left people to go,

oh, this is definitely inspired by Roadhouse. I might not mind this movie. You called it Roadhouse. Yeah. I've always hated this idea, but I will tell you, I actually had, it was gonna be Rhonda fucking Rousey at first was set to play Dalton in a new Roadhouse reboot got scrapped and then it came back and they said they're doing it with Jake Jake, Joan. All right, and then I saw they're make you know at UFC they were filming that stuff

So they were like, oh, he's gonna be a former UFC fighter. I'm like It doesn't even make sense. I like the career bouncer guy career In the middle of the country. Missouri. Where again, there's some bumfuck place that no one pays attention to. Yeah, Florida Keys are like the most progressive place in Florida. It's like, what do you, it's like going to fire island.

They let a black woman own a fucking Tiki bar. It's very progressive out there. Do you guys want to see Conor McGregor's butt? Yeah, I do. You know, you here's what you do because you've had this queued up for 45 minutes all right here you go that's an ass right there that's a nice butt those ass cheeks yeah you're not wrong about that right there right there right there bend over, baby. That's a butt. Look the guys definitely got a thumper on I'm not comparing

Kind of shape that Patrick Swayze was supposed to be in though his whole thing by the way if you recall What's they didn't do that in this movie at all? I didn't think about that Do you remember the big line about Dalton every time someone meet him? Yep. They go, I thought you'd be bigger. I'd be bigger. Yeah, I hear that a lot.

And he goes, yeah, I hear that a lot. And then it's funny, because Jake Gyllenhaal, they made him jacked, fucking huge and yoked. And here's the thing too, they didn't do the line that, I mean, I love every time I would get cut or something would happen to me. Pain don't hurt. Oh, in my head, I wouldn't even say it out loud. You all right? Pain don't hurt oh I'd write in my head I

wouldn't even say it out loud you all right pain don't hurt he was what do you like pain every pain don't hurt I see I taught that to max pain don't hurt pain don't get up pain don't hurt I wonder if max's age would appreciate the update if you showed him both more and just organically say he likes that one better. I think the new one. I think the new one, I might be wrong, I think we were a different type, we could watch a movie. I think they're raised on just go flat, like TikTok shit. Like YouTube stories, they need, he needs it to go.

You might be right about it because that's what, there's zero character development. It just moves on, it goes, Roadhouse needs a guy to protect it from a bad guy. Everyone kicked, because I will say this, if you gotta say a positive, the way they shot the fighting was pretty innovative, that was awesome, it was kinda neat.

The fights looked pretty cool. I think they're making movies now for TikTok kids. Because they don't care they don't care about story line as music videos. They don't yes. Let's go Nobody gives a fuck we as kids could sit through a movie I remember going to the movie theater and not complaining once not falling asleep. Just being like oh my god This is the best thing ever You know I bring max to a movie he gets if it's not it's not going if there's a story to it It's like, you know, I've tried to watch sagal shit. He's out, you know, I bring Max to a movie. He gets, if it's not going, if there's a story to it, it's like, you know, I've tried to watch Seagal's shit. He's out, you know.

Really? Yeah, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, he fucked. He called me a loser 10 minutes into that movie. I mean, that movie, that broke my heart when I realized Chitty Chitty Bang Bang stinks. I was like, no, it's a good movie. It's so boring. He was like, dude, it stinks.

And then 30 minutes in, the fucking car hasn't even flown yet. And I'm like, this movie sucks. Yeah, because it does suck. Yeah, toot. Sweet toot. Get to the flying car. Get to the fucking chitty-chitty-bang-bang.

I may have said this off air, but we asked our friend's son if he had seen Tommy Boy and Black Sheep. And he goes, I don't like old-timey movies Tommy boy, they're making movies differently now for especially for younger kids teenagers It has nothing there's nothing in it But is there is there my like they can't even relate to the kid the way the characters is their minds Is their mind not to like even question the idea? Why would Jake Gyllenhaal?

Go back to solve this problem that it really affects him and he should be, why am I even involved in this? Sell it or don't sell it? What do I give a shit? Yeah. It's a fucking bar. Take the two million overmarket they're gonna give you for this bar and move a mile down the fucking street. Yeah. Exactly. That's what Fanoia was saying, just move the place a mile down the road. Who cares? Go, how's this? Go to Key West where it's better. Go buy a bar in the better town

which is fucking eight miles down the road. Where you're gonna make money at it also. Yeah, your stupid bartender has to drive from there on a golf cart anyways. Go down there. Here's the thing too, they, Patrick Swayze had, this is his thing. He's the best bouncer in the world.

Him and, what's his name? Wade Garrett. Wade Garrett, they're the best. This is what they do. This is a gig, and this is a gig in real life. Bouncing is a thing. There's a whole underworld of really great, I remember Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston, They used to have a nightclub underneath.

So we'd do comedy upstairs, downstairs, a nightclub. And they had all these big bouncer dudes. But they had a Dalton. A guy that wasn't that big, but he was just a dude. Small white dude with a ponytail, calmest motherfucker, friendly every time. How you doing, Bobby? Nice to see you.

One night I came in, we were hanging out. I think Burr was with me. And somebody was Boston fucking idiot, though. Fuck you! Started throwing with a big black dude. This guy said, sir, you gotta leave. I'm gonna ask you to leave one more time. The guy went for this guy, he grabbed him by the neck

with both hands and just picked him up by his neck and walked him calmly out the front door and threw him to the pavement. He goes, you gotta leave, sir. And he walked back in. I was like, that's the motherfucker. That's like a thing. You know who's a bouncer?

Dante. Because he's a thing. They're not bouncers. If you recall what Patrick Swayze's thing was. Cooler. Coolers, man. It's not supposed to fight. You're supposed to stop the situation from happening.

Dude, let's learn Aikido and Judo and become coolers. I wanna become coolers, dude. I wanna be a cooler. We're definitely the coolers of Sirius XM Radio. I hope you don't think it's those security guys out there, because that ain't gonna do shit. They're gonna get- Patrick, Jake Gyllenhaal hired some

metrosexual working at the surf shop to be a bouncer. He didn't look look he could beat anyone up It's also yeah They were just I don't even stay the staff of the double deuce in the original had character The bartender was fucking young David Keith Yeah And then the other one that was like the guys the bad guys nephew who was stealing from the book There's a story lines in it. This didn't have a storyline nothing I'll tell you anything good came out of this not even a thing good not even a bouncer. He's not a bouncer

He's never bounced. No, he's never cooled He only fought and then he would do backyard fighting or underground fighting and he and he planned on not doing the underground fights Because his move was to go reveal who he was after everybody made their bets and then the guy would forfeit and he just gets the money. But if any citizen, which brings me to if anything good came from this movie, Post Malone, who is stick thin now? I mean thin thin in that movie.

It was really like that. He must have had that like, like Bart Kreischer moment when he saw the picture of him pitching. He was like, oh I gotta do something Yeah, too much slow-mo shirtless and post Malone had a wonk body He has a he had a de Rosa shape. He's got a de Rosa. He's got a definitely de Rosa along with the shitty tattoos, too But it's so funny because if you look a picture at him right now, he is like bone thin He saw those dailies one day and he was like a yikes. I don't like that Like this is ridiculous to them. Well, here's what I thought I thought this is by the way an easy thing They could have done if they want to incorporate Post Malone

Let it be that they're like a duo This was like a scam almost and then when he called I thought that was gonna be a reveal that he's gonna call Post Malone at one point be like hey get down here I need you here this place is wild I mean the post Malone would be like his you know his fucking sensei or his Wade Garrett or vice versa yeah I was like they didn't even give him a friend to give a shit about what you just wrote of course I'm, why do you have Post Malone? To quit a fight. That's why they had to hire Post Malone for this one scene.

He goes, I'm not fighting this guy. And he leaves. They're on a dirt floor in some dirty barn. No shoes, really? You can't wear a fucking shoe? It's the stupidest thing ever. The smallest written character in the original had depth to it and heart and you like them and

The actors were good in them. I Couldn't give a shit about a single character in this movie Well, you kind of liked like the fat guy who stayed on as a bouncer in the original and then the blonde Yeah, I don't remember their names as characters, but the blonde haired kid and like he was encouraging to them when they would do good He was like good. Hey, you did a good job That's all that's how you do it kicked his ass. Yeah, the fat one. Yep. The fat one who just did his best just did his best Yep, there they are. There's the crew Jeff Healy's even there for the bouncer meeting. He can't do shit

And this is where you can tell he's gonna fire the guy who was fucking in the closet because he says something This is where you can tell he's gonna fire the guy who was fucking in the closet because he says something Smarmy to him. What's the fucking line? He says something smart to that guy and then he just like he's like ripping something and then when he says the smarmy lines I'm he's like Like he starts doing an angry face about the whole thing But that guy was so perfectly everybody was perfectly cast in Roadhouse that smarmy piece of shit That's like that Danny terrio guy out in the in the sticks they found some good-looking Italian part you know his

hair's up bang his era redneck who was fucking the chicks in the back oh yeah yeah yeah he was like a perfect that's just a slight new Steve he had just a muscular guy with no shirt on you met that guy in life as an actor you be like I got a guy's a douche yeah his is douche. That guy played douche in several movies too. That guy would come back a few times. As soon as you saw somebody like, oh that guy's a piece of shit, he's a douchebag, she's a whore, she's adorable, cute, and that's the one he's gonna fall in love with. You could see who everybody was. This movie, I don't know what the fuck's going on. That little black girl comes up with a book. I got a book, you see...

He's like, this act of kindnessness is about to buy you $1 million in cash in a couple weeks. Asshole, take a quarter of it. Take... take... take half. Take a quarter, you fucking jerk-off. You're broke. Yeah, they don't need...

Where are you going with no money? Do you know how much it costs to fix that hut that they had the books in? I think maybe 12 grand. You get know how much it cost to fix that hut that they had the books in I think maybe 12 grand you get a couple Mexicans do it to do it six the place was a hunk of shit before it burned down He should have took the insurance money and moved on Everybody needs to get out of that stupid place and let him build their dumb fucking resort and it's not even a place It's like on the road to a place

I mean, that's why my my advice would be the whole thing. Stop this nonsense and sell the fucking, you've held that long enough, go in there with a price higher than they've even offered and I bet they'll just say yes. They just wanna build their goddamn resort. They're not monsters. It infuriated me that he took, he didn't take it.

They didn't show one little duffel bag. Just, I need you to just grab a couple stacks, put it in your bag, and then push the, that little one scene makes it all right for me that you give that money to those people. I don't care. And then you get on your stupid bus, you know? Maybe rent a car, how's that? Rent a car.

When they remake these movies, again, they never see the idea that the movie, these 80s movies they do or the 90s movies they're not great written films necessarily it's the people that were doing these kind of movies back then so it's like point break there they read it flatliners flatliners was so bad that uh Ellen page didn't want to be associated with so much. She changed into a man. After Flatlanders, Ellen Page. It had to be.

I thought it was, I thought you just wanted to be a man. No, no, I don't believe in that nonsense. It was inside you. You only change genders if you're running from failures as the gender you were. She's running for, she goes, all right. She goes, no, no, Ellen Page was in Flatliners. I get that a lot. I'm Elliot I'm Elliot. I'm Elliot page. No, I know it's sad. It sounds alike

But of all the people that transition she really did it. She looks like a dude. She's a cute dude now Yeah, well Jacob That's a tough one for Jacob cuz you know, yeah, this is she made him gay what? one for Jacob, because, you know. Yeah, they're the same build. She made him gay. What? Well, Ellen Page turned Jacob into a gay person, because she says she's been Elliot Page her whole life,

and Jacob had a real crush on him. Oh, that's your type of girl, isn't it, Jacob? Excuse me, Bobby? Don't misgender people. Sorry, that's your type of boy. Thank you. You're welcome. There's your guy.

There's your fella. Look at that dude. Oh, you can get in on that,. Oh, yeah, dude. Look at that You've been running your fingers through that fucking choppy hair and seeing it suck your wiener with those with that fucking dude chest Now she's got a six pack that goes right down to a vag So funny. I she did good more he did good more ripped than I am now. Yeah Yeah, he's he's got the Jake Gyllenhaal body there. It's such a weird thing.

From roadie. It's crazy. What a transition. Jacob puts, Jacob gave up so much batch to these pictures before. Now he's just been jerking off to a guy your whole life. He's been smacking off to a dude. I do think it's weird. And again, just like when we had, um,

Jake, it went away. Come when he has a baseball hat on, just like when we had a Emma Rose in here, it's the same thing, even though I know, and I still even see Ellen page's face in that picture right there. We're looking at with the abs and the pecs, but I will say, it would still blow my mind when she pulled her pants down. There's just a little slippage in your legs. Like, yay. Everything's all weird yeah because she you can't she didn't get a penis she keeps she kept the badge right

what's the name of the porn star that's um buck angel yeah oh that's i can't please don't bring that up would you do it with elliot page please no please don't do what no smash pussies with this guy? Yeah. Christine, would you scissor with this dude? No. Why? Because I like... Wow. You like what? You like what?

You like normal people and not freaks of nature? How dare you? You can't say that in today's society. You wouldn't... Oh God. I'm going to throw up. Please don't show me this. Yeah. I can't. I can't. He looks like my uncle tommy Your auntie tommy seems like a male to or a female to male trans like

Transmen have a much easier time coming off as passable. Yeah, I can't have this conversation male This is too. I mean you're so nonchalant about talking to me right now. Can you please poppy? When you see a picture like this I can't And you see- OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- When you see this muscular man getting fucked by a fucking machine OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I can't it's it changes the universe

Do you think Buck Angel and I asked this scientifically You're cracking a whole universe NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Oh, you think bucking angels an easy comedy really got to work that thing for a while Jay what show emotion you vampire. Oh, I've I'm drinking it all in how My god, oh look at that pretty girls with penises fucking a jacked guy with a pussy What a confusing feeling? Oh God's like what happened what they do What the fuck did they do? He's yet? God's like is this fucking industrial light and magic or something?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no They're getting it wrong again. Yeah. Hey, God, did you guys get involved? Is this some like, is this a filter? That is what I mean, but. Eh. Oh, dude, dude. What's your concerns here, Bobby? It's just, look it, I have no problem with.

Is your problem the awkwardly hot chicks with huge hogs? No, that's never my problem. Or the bald muscular guy with the flappy pussy just getting corn hold. It's the flappy quit, that's never my problem. Or the bald muscular guy with the flappy pussy just getting coiled. It's the flappy quit. It's the flappy, ugh. I mean, listen, I have no problem with whatever. I like trans, but it's the-

No, you love this. I don't love this. What are you talking about? I do not love this. What do you mean? This is your- I'm not hungry anymore. I was gonna get tacos, but not now.

Not now you'm not. Not now you can't. Not now. Not a cheesy taco after that. Now I'm gonna have to suck on ice cubes for a day. Oh dude. You think she really treats her pussy like a bald guy too. Yeah I bottle brush it every night.

Get all the come out from the guys. God it's so weird to me that you can. From the girls. No. Wait so Buck Angel, that's a fake pussy right? No that's a real vagina. It's a girl, Buck Angel's a fake pussy, right? No, that's a real vagina. It's a girl, Buck Angel was a girl first. It's a girl that became a guy.

Yes, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. But she became, like most girls that become a guy kind of still have girl. This is a girl that became a legitimate fucking guy. Well, except for that pussy, and then the guy's fucking him. Yeah, but. Except for that pussy and then the guys fucking

Yeah, except for that Wow Dan Soder phone call took this guy's even remember the schedule yeah wow wow Look at you want to answer it. I'm calling Look at you. You can't let go. Oh, no you can't let go dude Hey Daniel how far removed are you that you forget our schedule over here at the bar and fire? I literally hung up right when it happened. I became what I hate. I think this is a code red that he said,

dude, if I ever do code red, we need you help on the show. I reach out to Dan and go, Dan, we're hitting a wall here with the Roadhouse talk, I need you. Yeah, we're on. Dan, come in with a voice and I need you to on the show. I reach out to Dan and go, Dan, we're hitting a wall here with the Roadhouse talk. I need you. Yeah, we're on. Dan, come in with a voice, and I need you to come in hot. Did you watch Roadhouse yet? No, but I heard it's a piece of shit.

Watch it, please. Watch it. The one review I read, they said that Conor McGregor is in a different film the entire time. That's a good review. Conor McGregor is not part of this movie that's happening. Yeah. Are you on air right now?

Yes. Well, we're pre-recording. Nice. Nice. Stop acting you don't know what Tuesdays are. I sent you a banger of attacks this weekend and you didn't get back to me. And I wanted to call and talk to you about our friend that got assaulted.

Oh, yes, yeah, when you called I was driving. That's right, the Wayne, our friend Wayne Rada who got beaten to shit in his apartment building was driving. That's right the Wayne our friend Wayne Rada who got a Beating the shit in his apartment building It's pretty wild. I'll give you a call later on tonight Look I know you know what I like your smell you pig Come back pussy Come back we'll do mornings if you're wondering why you can't hear Jacob it's because he's on zoom in Florida with us ear-to-ear smile on his face

He really needs to have a child I love. He better have a god damn child down there. He really needs to have a child. I love you bud, I'll talk to you later. I love you. God, he's so not over me. No, no, no. He's so not over me. Don't talk to me. You guys are still in love. You saw that phone call. Oh no dude, I'm so over him. No. No. I don't think about him at all. Yeah, you think about it. Oh you bring him up every day That's not true. Ev every day but like bad stuff. Yeah. No I go you bring it out you leave Dan did that thing that one time I can't believe you did that to me You would never do that to me you would and I say no and you go. Yeah, I'm landed. I'm with you now

Yeah, I really do you make me feel like the second wife dude I keep some I keep some of his clothes You son of a bitch that's right Dan left me to go do his own show and a show with you Dan Dan left me to go do a show you Dan was with me first. The regs is YKWD. Dan left me to go with you.

You stole Dan from me. Maybe we have to see who wins him in a divorce trial. You can have him. Desirable piece of ass. You know what it is? You can have him. Yeah, you're walking off the regs? I'm walking off the regs.

I'm done. Fuck the regs. Yo, fuck the regs, am I right? Christine, you can take this guy's boy pussy off the regs. I'm walking off the regs, I'm done. Fuck the regs. Yo, fuck the regs, am I right? Christine, you can take this guy's boy pussy off the air. Yeah, thanks, appreciate it. You don't wanna watch a trans sex?

I do, but Bobby seems to have a whole thing with it. Yeah, I can't, I can't watch it. I have a whole other screen on until she does this. It's just not a good looking vagina. Why, you're afraid if you see Ellen Page, you're gonna come right where you sit? She has actually a guy vagina. You know what I mean?

A buck angel? Yeah, it's like a... I know, it's like a beaver. It's not a female looking vagina. It looks like if guys could have vaginas, that would be a dude plus. Like give me like a 14 grade thickness or something like that.

Yeah. Guys can have vaginas, as we saw. And can also get pregnant. Oh, I'm gonna throw it. No, the guys can't get pregnant. Guys can have vaginas, as we saw. And can also get pregnant. Oh, I'm gonna throw, no, the guys. And that's not true. Guys can't get pregnant. Guys can't get pregnant. No, guys can't get pregnant.

Guys can't get pregnant now. Oh, will you stop? Guys can't get pregnant. Women get pregnant, they're turned into guys. Oh man, I really hope that fucking Elliot Page gets pregnant. I do. I hope it's a hermaphrodite.

Oh, I hope my abs come back after this. This is gonna hurt shooting out of my weenus. Look at this guy. That's a woman. Yeah, that's a- That's a woman who became a guy. It's a birthing person. I'm gonna throw up.

I'm gonna throw up. That makes me more sick than that other vagina. Christine believes it. Do you really believe that, Christine? Are you do you believe that men? Because I get myself in trouble. Christine tries to Christine tries to be. I'm getting myself in trouble. You're actually getting yourself more stuff.

People don't like Christine. Christine tries and she tries to be pregnant. She tries to be woke, but Christine wants to turn on her. Christine wants to be a birthing person. Christine's the person who Christine's the person who walks through a gang at night just to be like, I won't live life afraid. Because she's a witch. She's not a witch.

Oh Bobby, I'm on the phone with him today. Bobby, you're spelling that word wrong. She's a bitch. And Bobby gets all scared as he's driving. I go, what, do you see a UFO? He goes, no, I saw witches. No, listen to me. Well, the guy is heading up to Massachusetts constantly. I mean, there is bound to be covens up there. That's the place. I'm not kidding. 100% it was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

It was shocking. Sawmill River Parkway. As you're going up all the way from Yonkers up into Katona, there's a river that goes on the right side underneath over the left the whole way up. Oh, Satan's Pass? Satan's Pass. Up by...

B. Elzebub's Curve? Yes. The Conjuring Curve? Up by... Over by haunted rock Yeah, I think I've seen stories about up there. I did rock They always have that up in the woods Have you been to the Blair Witch tree? Dude there's a there's a everyone who lives in bestchester knows there's this river. I'm driving down today.

I'm talking to the only witch that I know. Buddy, there's four women with, you know, pink hair and all kinds of black shit and bracelets and shit standing waist high in the river, doing shit with their hands, in the river Doing shit with their hands like weird fucking conjuring shit And there were two two or three of them in the woods doing some conjuring shit Maybe they're like ducks though like under the water. They were all just taking shits all four of them had to take a dump together it was Four women in the in this poll, it's fucking polluted.

For sure. I'm down by yonkers. Yeah. It's polluted, and I flip out, there's witches. I'm like don't. And it's happening while you're on the phone, Christine. I'm on the phone, Christine, I just saw witches. They were doing shit in the river.

They were waist high in the river, I just saw four witches. And she knew what they were doing. What did you say? They're just intention setting what are they doing intention setting? What does that mean? It means they're setting their intentions. Oh, I thought they were attention getting It was first of all, the water is Disgusting also it's freezing and these four-brods were just standing in it doing weird shit over each other's heads.