The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Target Practice

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Jay continues to collect sad songs about being cold to make a montage for Jacob because he's always freezing. On Legion of Skanks, Luis J Gomez once wrote a hilarious poem to an ex-girlfriend. Dave Smith is a rising political commentator who needs better headphones. | The famous clip of Tom Segura's mom farting is never not funny. | Bobby hates Bruce Springsteen and Jay loves to sing like him. | In light of current world events, Bob starts shooting targets of the enemy just in case a war breaks out. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly. Yeah, boy. I got another song for the Jacob Cold montage. Oh, you do? Yeah. This is stained. I forgot, they used to mope like children too. Turn it up, Lou. I just want it warm in the fucking studio A guy describing himself as cold is hilarious especially Like when it's like sad cold they mean yeah, not temperature inside cold

That's the first line of Lewis's poem is one of the best things ever in recorded history is that now that I'm feeling cold and alone Cold you're the best man Who just got my phone That's a who he is thing right there. What are you doing? Where are you going? I'm changing these chairs. They're always shitty. They're all shitty. Sad cold. Oh shit Lou, turn it back up. Steen's coming in for a landing. Ah! Inside... Jacob's coat... Eee! Eee! Inside...

Jacob's coat... Eee! Eee! Um... Oh, is this the first? You could play, yeah. You could play the first line of Lewis's poem Jacob sad cold I never I never I never realized how sad cold he was until right now The first line of Lewis's poem is the best man this photo of you guys is the best so old do you with long hair? Yeah?

Dave hasn't changed his Since he was fucking 10. He just doesn't shop in the, I mean dude, it's the same. He doesn't shop in Modell's clearance rack anymore. Buddy, it's the same look, he hasn't changed his face. His face is the same. You went through 17 different looks

since I've started the bonfire. Totally, remember my kabuki here? That was crazy, my kabuki here. Go Christine, play it. Explain this again, what is this again? Oh this is, I apologize, I should've explained this better. I got you buddy, this is a duo. That was good, the little poem is,

if you know Legion of Skanks, and you don't know the poem, you fucked up. Because if anyone ever asks me, and we gotta be in the thousand plus Skanks episodes at least and in all those episodes, I always say we never, we peaked at episode 20, the Lewis poem, where Lewis was,

I revisit this a couple times a year myself, just on the road where I show it to people. So you're saying that episode 20 was, that was the best it's gonna get. It's never gonna be better Right. I've never how many how many you up to now? Thousands maybe at least a thousand. I think that's I think that's true with every podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah 20 was our peak at least for me

I haven't laughed this hard since like you hear Why I laugh every year this and then listen to it is to remind myself There was a time my life where I laughed actually. I enjoyed it. No. At Lewis. At, no with instead of at. But anyway Lewis when we were younger and he lived around the corner from me he was dating

this girl, this cute young girl and then when they broke up you know she left he got in the car with me one night and he goes, he was like man I'm really, he's like you know she left he got in the car with me one night and he goes he was like my man I'm really he's like you know I don't say her name but like she left me whatever and I'm like oh man that sucks I'm sorry to hear that he's like yeah I wrote her a poem I was like ah that's cool man but you know just don't send that yet just because you know just think on that for a day because it's pretty fresh. In my mind, I know it's gonna happen, which is what happened.

He's gonna send it and she's gonna laugh with all of her friends at it. So you tried to get him not to send it. So that's when you still had human in you. Yes, I did. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, ah, buddy, don't, well, there was no such thing as podcast back then

or anything. That's when you were still little Jay from Philly. Podcast didn't exist here. Hey, dude, you don't do that yet. When you gave Sage advice, instead of now when you were still little Jay from Philly. Podcast didn't exist yet. Hey, dude, you don't do that yet. When you gave Sage advice, instead of now when you give podcast advice, dude, send that immediately and give me a copy. This before you thought about hurting your friends

for content. Yeah, exactly. Way before. Yeah, you know, I need some content. I'm gonna break my friend's heart. So now, I was like, hey, just don't send it yet. Just sit on that for a day or so. And he goes, I already emailed it. And I was like, Oh, Christ, you gave him the restraint of pen and tongue. And then never, uh, I

never, we never discussed it again. Never, never came up again. He said he wrote a poem to her and he sent it and you never brought it up. But you never said, can I check it out? He wouldn't have showed it at the time and I just forgot. It was just like it was time went by, it was so long ago. And then five years go by. Five fucking years. Five years went by.

If he had given it, he probably didn't have his own copy of it even at that time. No, he just put it in an email body, an email. He wouldn't even have had it anymore, yeah. He typed it? Yeah. Wow. So, he bumped into her five years later,

and Beatrice is in the background of this clip. She's, um... Beatrice is pregnant with James, Lewis' son, which is hilarious in the here, and put Lewis somewhere in New York City, bumped into the girl he wrote the poem for and asked her, he goes, Hey, do you by any chance? This is pretty cool of him. And he says, do you have that poem that I sent you when we split up? And she was like,

Oh yeah. And she sent it back to him. And this is me reading it to Lewis and Dave. Lewis hasn't seen it since he wrote it five years ago. I'm not looking forward at all, really. I'm only allowed to look like two sentences at a time. I'm like, we're all scrolling up. I'm reading it in Lewis's voice with beautiful music and Dave listening, also listening in the background.

Lewis's ex with child. Go ahead, you can give him a second of it. Now that I'm feeling cold and alone. All right, you're doing Lewis voice? That's the first line. Now that I'm feeling cold and alone. You're doing Lewis voice? That's the first line. Now that I'm feeling cold and alone. He's crying? Is he crying or laughing? No, we're laughing. I've never laughed this hard in my life.

Sounds like he's laugh crying because it hurts still. I want to start it over. No, dude, we have five minutes of this music. The first line lives up to my expectations Trump denied Dave Smith in the background. Oh my god. I'm not I'm trying to see how I go down Scroll with your thumb. I got you. Okay anti-interventionalist Dave Smith. Oh, he's teaching you how to use an iPhone. Your thumb. Use your thumb. Yeah. It was all new. Jason, what? My sidekick wasn't doing that.

Sidekick. Beginning again, taking this from Jump. Now that I'm feeling cold and alone, it dawned on me that I never wrote you a poem. I got subscribe to gas digital Making money for us like an asshole technically is supposed to be This is a YouTube clips called worst poem ever I got money for coffee I'd always say watch the YouTube clip because it's it's nine minutes long and it's just it's so funny go you give him a couple more Lines, I mean they don't get any better

I love you said dawned on me because later didn't you say that nothing's ever dawned on him ever better I love you said dawned on me because later didn't you say that nothing's ever dawned on him that's a funny sense actually never dawned on me never learned a lesson for something is oh wait that's part of the poem Is that day yeah, you started you're not gonna say you gotta read it Jay After two and a half years There's so much to say so much to cry for to beg for and pray I'm gonna throw up. I can't this one Louis prayed Yes

Good If you were the one that could make me feel more I Knew you were innocent. I knew you were young. I knew you were beautiful. I knew you were fun It's worse Did you hear me let I, you've never heard me laugh like that. I remember this. This is in Lewis's living room. the beginning. Continue. Dude, I'm literally crying. This line's the best I think. I can't believe I'm crying. I read ahead, was you do I had problems you do I was fat You gotta listen to the rest yourself. That's the best one ever.

I remember listening, I was in the cringe-shy office of a 42-year-old fat. But you took a chance and I thank you for that. It's not a bad rhyme. It's not a bad rhyme. Oh man, what a lyricist. I have, I wrote, I think I was 17 or 18, my first real girlfriend Kristen. Yeah

Who I went to the prom with and I mean I loved her. I found that she was cheating on me with a she went to college and she joined a sorority and then They used to go to the hockey games And I found a dude's number in her purse Steve And I was like who's number in her purse, Steve. And I was like, who's fucking Steve? Your belly's angry about that. Sorry.

Oh, fucking Steve, I remember Steve. Who's Steve? She goes, it's my cousin. And I was like, you have a cousin named Steve? One of them, she was fucking a hockey player. Nice. So the sorority would go to the games. And I was in art school or whatever,

I was trying to be an artist. And she goes, can you, yeah, she goes, can you make us all sweatshirts? Because I was airbrushing at the time. So I made. Oh my god. She goes. I made the sorority.

Can you make one that says long and thick? That's just one guy's nickname. I made all of them the sorority logo and the hockey. So I made all these sweatshirts for all these sorority girls. That way she would go to the hockey games and she wanted to just fucking get plowed out by one of those hockey players.

So she broke my heart. I mean, we used to go to karate together. We used to get tuna melts together. Jesus. We went from skinny and we got fat together in two years. We became fatties and... Started fucking Steve the hockey player. She started fucking this...

Who likes a fat, warm bitch. She started fucking this dude. And then I, I remember I went to the library in Malden on a rainy day, and uh, I went, I wrote her a poem. I wrote this magnificent poem. Please tell me you have any copy of it anywhere. My mother might have it in the attic. When I moved from Boston to New York, I gave her all anywhere. My mother might have it in the attic.

When I moved from Boston to New York, I gave her all my stuff. She might have the poem in my art stuff, because I have all my art stuff at her house in the attic. That would be pretty great. I definitely wrote a poem. I don't remember exactly to who, when. I'm sure it was terrible.

I couldn't know where it was. But anytime I've ever written a poem which saying it's one Maybe two times I do know that when I've sat down to do it I was sitting in front of pen and paper like I would write it Oh, I wrote my yeah in the library rainy day in front of a just a rainy window in the library I'm all the lipstick kiss the bottom of it I think I drew clouds on the top of the page. By the way, I suffer from that too, Bobby. Overdecorate for no reason a page.

It's like, well, I mean, I did put a little sun there, so I might as well put some, like, ground. And the ground's gonna need to have a couple little sprouts of some kind of foliage coming out of it. You gotta put a tree with a hole in it for the owl. And then I can draw a rock on the ground, but then I have to draw three rocks because I don't really have to do one rock perspective wise,

but I can do three clustered together. And that looks cooler. If I find it, I'll bring it in, but it is terrible. Right, what you did with the shirts, I was doing, never even for a girlfriend, I just used to draw, I drew once like a, I think, Fanoia, because I drew once for Fanoia, to be funny. The brick wall busting with your name coming through it and a bunch of graffiti with things.

Same thing, you're being used, but in your mind you're like, all these chicks wanna hang with a cool artist. You're like, hey, can you draw this thing for my binder and beat it, you fat turd? I wasn't even good. The names, too. I was in West Philly, so I'm like, here, you fat turd. Buddy, I wasn't even good. The names too, I was in West Philly,

so I'm like, here's Damona Dixon, here's LaShanta Frederick. I wasn't even good at airbrushing. That's great, he's had it. I was an airbrush where you put it all in a pressurized tank, like all the colors, so you could just, airbrushing, you had to pour the ink in individually.

Sure. But you know me, I'm a gadget fucking weirdo. I bought the latest and greatest that you could put all the paint into this big pressurized thing and then switch it on the fly. Okay. And I didn't even have an airbrush. So I airbrushed. You just had the motherfucker of airbrushes.

I had the best airbrush system you could buy. I think my grandmother helped me buy it because I didn't have credit. And I just started airbrushing in my basement. And then she's like, hey, can you do it? And I was like, yeah. But the shirts were so, like, the logo, like some of them had it small, like they were all uneven, it wasn't the same,

like, fucking logo. And I think I fucked up one of the names on it, and I just, I just, uh. Fixed it? No, I left it. Oh. Yeah, dude, I was, I can't spell, I'm fucking dyslexic. It was so terrible, man. I made, I think, uh. Fixed it? No, I left it. Oh. Yeah, dude, I can't spell. I'm fucking dyslexic.

It was so terrible, man. I made, I think it was like a triangle, some type of sorority, Suffolk University sorority. And I made, and I stayed up all night. I had to do like 15 sweatshirts. And it was for them to wear to the hockey game. To get banged out. So some other guys.

Even if it wasn't perfect, it worked. Oh it worked, it helped. All they needed, all those girls needed for was to really wipe up all those hockey players splats. He goes, hey, I don't care what you put on the front of the shirt, if you could just make sure the inside's real terry cloth, because we have a lot of splat to fucking zamboni off our bodies, if you know what I mean.

You tried your best and it was enough. Oh buddy, I remember. It was nice to get him laid. I wrote the poem and then she called me up two weeks later. I gave her the poem, then she called me up. She wanted to get back together, but I was like, I gave her something, like, no, I'm good. I worked through it.

Like, that poem helped me. The poem, my own words helped me get through the Christian breakup. I was living with a foster father too. I got it out. I was living with a foster father. This guy, Ken Lass, this Jewish dude, and this other dude, he had another foster son, Carmelo Senchez. Okay.

And- Not biological. Neither one of us. Yeah, we used to live with this dude. He was a real sweet guy. But- Melo Sanchez. Okay. And uh. Not biological. Neither one of us. Yeah, we used to live with this dude. He was a real sweet guy. But uh. To you.

He raped the shit out of that Hispanic kid. He was very good to you because you were a Christian white. But that Mexican kid got fucking his ass wailed. Talk about a Midnight, Operation Midnight Hammer. Dude, I had to use Cut Melo's dental insurance once because I had my tooth got fucked up. got fucking his ass wailed. Talk about Operation Midnight Hammer. Dude, I had to use Carmelo's dental insurance once because I had my tooth got fucked up and I didn't have dental.

So the guy was like, she should use Carmelo's, go in, I'll make an appointment for Carmelo. So I went in and I don't know why I was thinking that I had to speak in Spanish. I could have just went in and went, hey. What a racist. I'm Carmelo, so I went in and went, hello. I'm Carmelo Sanchez.

My tooth hurts like a motherfucker. I chipped the front tooth, I gotta get it fixed. So I'm coming over and I went, hello, I'm Carmelo Sanchez. My dude hurts like a motherfucker. I chipped the front tooth, I gotta get it fixed. So I'm sitting there, I'm sitting there in the dark, the dentist is like, so where you from? I'm like, originally from Lawrence, Massachusetts, but now I live with my foster father. Originally from Lawrence, Massachusetts.

All of a sudden the girl from my class comes in from high school, she was a dental assistant or some shit. She's like, Carmelo? And she saw me and I was like hello how you doing she knows I'm fucking Bobby Kelly I am undercover I was like please don't say anything I have no doubt that she's okay had to sit there and fuck you grabbing a kisser? I meet a pretty lady come here

and then like please god don't fuck us up I'm from here I'm a jerk that's right come here. And they're like, please God, don't fuck us up. Forget about your... Ah! That's right. Come here, Juan Sánchez. You have just been seduced by Carmelo. I'll make you a hoodie. I know how to airbrush. Now, doc, extra novocaine, please.

Give me the laughing gas. And he just laughed like normal. Ha ha ha ha ha. No, I do not giggle. I do not giggle. I do not choose to giggle. My name is Carmelo Sanchez. You killed my father. Prepare to die. By the way, I gotta say, I hope we're making, maybe we should be making, I don't know if we should be making more or less money than Roxanne Shante. She's a legend for sure and God bless her. Maybe

the most entertaining show in series XM at this point. Apologies Howard Stern, apologies Bennington, apologies Sam Roberts. The show, it came on today, I mean, it's must-hear radio. What is it? She starts off saying, it's hot out there y'all, like in between casinos walking hot, which is a good description.

That's a good thing, yeah. Then she goes, I want you all to remember, drink water, drink water out there, stay hydrated, but don't drink too much water. A lot of people don't tell you that. Don't drink too much water. I mean, enough to stay hydrated, but too much water's bad.

That's good advice. And then she goes, it's bad. It makes you shit. And then. I mean, it's, I mean mean I'm glad, that's good, I didn't know that, did you know that? I never knew that. And then the, by the way, her co-host goes,

Aunt P, and she goes, sure, but it make you shit. And when you get older, the shits get loose and sour. They loose and they sour. She drinking milk with the water? I don't know, she goes, that's what happen when you get, oh yo, you get Lucy Goosey, all right, this is EMPD, EPMD with crossover, and they just send it to a song.

But how much money did they get? I don't know, but she, you know, I was gonna say maybe we should make more, but maybe she should make more, because she's willing to go there. And she is a legend of hip hop. Roxanne Shante. But I don't know. I couldn't guess what she makes over at LL Cool J,

Rock the Bells Radio. And when it gets hot, you're supposed to drink the water. But if you drink the water, don't drink too much, because it make you shit. Make you shit. And if you old. It makes sour. Yeah, you make loose, sour shit.

So it be smelling sour. Yeah. That is true. It be sour. Yeah, that is true. It'd be Lucy Goose. That is true. And sour. I had a sour shit yesterday. There's nothing worse than a sour hot day shit. I like when an Iranian lunatic bombs Times Square.

That's what's gonna be talked about in one of the rooms of this building while that happens. She goes, and you know what? I'ma shit it on myself you guys hear that you guys hear that hold on so anyway I was like my shit was loose and it was smell and I know somebody saw my feet and my shoes is dope so I know they saw my shoes nigga and associate that hang on what's that say? Oh y'all hear that? Guys, y'all hear Battlezone happening outside? You know speaking of all that shit

It's nice to be writing Times Square when uh right when we've provoked isn't like the terrorism place like terrorism HQ Taking the subway now is fucking I'm getting paranoid I know you must be getting paranoid, especially because despite all this,

you back every one of Trump's moves, and I think before the show said something about good night towel heads. Can you even say that anymore? I didn't say that. You didn't? No, I did not say that. You said some of it though.

No, I didn't say that. Did I make up all of that? You made it all up. Wow! Yeah. Okay, all right. I'm very, I'm actually very sad. Pro towel heads. No, no. Oh, all right. I'm not, I'm actually very sad. Pro towel heads.

No, no. All right. I'm not any, I like- Did you not say something about the word towel heads? I didn't know that. I've only used a towel on my, I don't have hair. I don't even use it on my head. I don't even say towel head.

Okay, you know what? This might be, listen, years ago we remember, I accused Christopher Cross of being a pedophile and there's no such allegations ever on his name. So sometimes I fuck up. Maybe you never said towel heads today three or four times. I never said it at all, not three or four times. I would never say towel heads.

Well no, as I'm saying, now that I'm thinking back on it, I don't think you said it three or four times at all. Maybe not even at all. I don't even want to get into the poll. Let's leave this for Dave Smith. But I went to Iraq with Quinn, and we were in in Baghdad and we were doing these shows. It was just funny. I don't know if it's funny to you,

but they have Iraqis work in the bases. They would have Iraqi people from the city. No. They got paid. But they would work in the bases. Yeah, but not fair rage. But it was raining out and a fucking dude came in. And a towel wrapped around his head and he walked in and I just looked at him and I was like, Like not fair rage, but it was it was raining out Fucking dude came in

The towel wrapped around his head and he walked in and I just looked at him and I just I just smiled and he went And he just unwrapped it. He goes He knew I just looked at him and he looked at me and he was like yeah you son of a bitch I'll take the towel off my head Maybe that's the towel head you said. I would never say towel head. I feel bad that, I'm very bummed out that word. Well, you can't say sand n-word on the radio.

I would never say that either. If I was gonna do it, I would never say that. I wouldn't call him Sandys. I wouldn't do anything. Is that a thing? That's a thing, I guess, yeah. Is that bad? That's bad.

Sandys? That's what history of Hainanese calls it. You're not allowed to take bullshit words and say you're not allowed to say them anymore. They cock. It got through, listen, it got through S&P. It made a slip through. If you decide at some point to start saying

spoon instead of cock, you start saying, you can't say, well you can't say spoon sucker now. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? You found the loophole, dude. They call, well you can't say spoon sucker now. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You found the loophole, dude. They call, I was talking to Yannis about this. On the High Street Ironies, they have names for everybody.

It's pretty funny. They call black dudes, namines. Okay. Which I didn't know. I was like, why are they namine? I was like, that makes sense. Namine. They figured out Canadians, so.

Yeah, I didn't say anything. But I really, that did freak me out this weekend. Because I'm like, okay, we bombed Iraq. What if they start bombing. We bombed Iran. Iran, Iran, sorry, Iran. They bombed Iran. And then what if they start bombing Manhattan?

Dawn was back. Well, I'll tell you what's gonna happen. You're gonna be running in here screaming, Iraq's come to attack us. Me and Max were up in New Hampshire. Wow, fucking ground zero. And they were, she was down here. Do I come back and get Dawn?

Or do I just say, hey, make your way up if you can? Radiation's not getting up there though, that fucking Ryan Reynolds mountain where you live on. Yeah. That Blake Lively mountain. It would. The would the radiation no way dude. It was my ears weren't even open up there I think it's 40 40 mile radius. I believe if it's a nuke one of the nukes we have 40 miles out It's not one of the nukes. We have some of the nukes they have yeah, but they have I don't think they have any more but You don't think no, I think but I think there's up. I think they had one special one hidden somewhere else.

If you were to entertain my little fantasy for a second. Sure. If I was up in New Hampshire with Maxipoo and shit happened here, I'd just let Dawn go, right? Yeah, for sure, say goodbye and remember. I should probably tell her to go to you. You could Avenger in some way. Avenger for who? I don't know, but I just say goodbye and remember. I should probably tell her to go to you. You could avenger in some way.

Avenger for who? I don't know, but I just remember what it was. You said you and Max spent this weekend up in New Hampshire training to kill towel heads. No, that's not true. We never, that is 100% not true. Bobby, did you not say any of this to me? I didn't, no, I never said any of that to you.

What the fuck am I hearing? You're making stuff up. Oh, I'm making stuff up. We were in the, we had towels, we were. What the fuck am I hearing? You're making stuff up. Oh, I'm making stuff up. We were in the, we had towels, we went to the beach. You had towels and you shot guns. We shot guns, we didn't say. The towels. No, we didn't.

For practice. No, we didn't wrap towels around targets. I didn't say anything about targets. Do you know you actually can't even at the gun range use targets with people in them? No, that can't be true. Mine, yeah, they don't want you to use. I think it might be certain ones,

that can't be true across the board, that's gotta be the most fun. Yeah, I would imagine so, but yeah, our thing that you can't use. My first target's gonna be an outline of Christine at her happiest. I don't know what that is, just in all of her glory. In the pool while Dawkins is in her pool?

Yeah, and I'm gonna put one in each eye. This one, it's when you're getting in a car to go to the airport, when she's at her happiest? Probably. That's when she's at her sleepiest, yeah. You know, she could, yeah, for sure. Probably, the door closes and she's like, just goes to a full house,

so most horrible music party. The name is hate your house when you're not around. Maybe, oh man, we had a neighbor yesterday, it stopped pretty quick, but I mean, cranked music in the backyard, real loud, but for like 10 minutes and then it stopped. What type of music? It wasn't good.

Maybe like electronic dance-y type stuff, like a little EDM-ish sounding. So is there, what is, cause I'm afraid to play music in the backyard still. Yeah. Just the neighbors, I don't know how loud... Like the old house, I knew how loud I could play it. Yeah.

Because the neighbor to the left was cool as shit, and the neighbor to the right were these hippies. And they were fine with shit. They didn't buy... but the new neighbors, I don't know how loud I can play it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I haven't had a party yet to see the tepid man of the neighborhood.

And the people to the left of me go to bed at like, I think 7.30. Like, I've literally, like, their lights are out at like 7.30, 8 o'clock. All the lights in the house are out. Do they have to wake up stupid early? No, I think they're retired. To get down the mountain?

No, there's no mountain. Oh, it's an older retired couple. I'm not, no, he's not that old. You live on top of a mountain. I do not live on a mountain. You do. I do not. Yeah.

It's not a mountain. You said you wanted to go to the highest peak where the towel heads can't get you. I know you said. I swear to God you said this outside. First of all, towel heads are India. Oh. That's not Iran.

So you were, it didn't even make sense what you were saying. No, what you are saying doesn't make sense. What I'm saying, what I'm making up. Towel heads were saying. No, what you are saying doesn't make sense. Oh, what I'm saying, what I'm making up. Towelheads is a whole. Towelheads are Indians, that is right. Towelheads, they're not Indians, but it's a certain, it's a certain religion.

Indians, you call them Indians, I believe. I don't call them Indians, no, those are American Indians. No, you call them Indians. Those are American, how many words do we have to say now? American Native Indian, what is it? Indigenous. Indigenous. Native. Native American Eskimo. Eskimo Indians. Those American, how many words do we have to say now? American Native Indian, what is it? Native? Indigenous? Indigenous? Native? Native American Eskimo Indians.

Eskimo Indians. Indian American, those are not towel heads. Oh. Regular Indians, it's Sikhs, I believe, have the towels. I mean the wraps. Not that they have wraps on their heads that look like towels, it's not a towel head. Thus, the slur towel heads.

Don't throw thus in there, you theater girl. Thus, alas. Alas. And alas. Muslims are troubled by the towel head title. Okay, all right, Bobby, you may have to slow down on that word. I don't use the word, I've never used it in front of you.

You've made it up. I've never called anybody a towel head. Now is this crazy? Is this possible making every bit of this up completely? This doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem right. Oh God, I'm going into a shell. I'm so cold.

People of Arab origin is commonly used against those of Arab descent, particularly those who wear a kaffir. A kaffir? Yep, that's correct. Or a similar head covering. Yeah, it's not a towel head. That's Indian.

I think it's Sikh. Am I right? Is it Sikh? No, it's four, it's four, I mean, what they used to say was towel head or dot head. They're both slurs and it was like, that is Sikh. No, but there's actually a towel. That's seek. Yeah seek wrap it around and they have beautiful long hair under there Yeah, that's what and their beards connect to their hair buddy when I lost chick razor beard of the game

It was to a seek guy was it member Christine when you what you remember? When I almost won chick razor beard of the game at the Sixers game The guy that did win was a guy, a Sikh guy. Oh yeah. With all the crazy... And it's called a turban, not a towel. I don't throw around crazy stuff like that. That's your Boston upbringing. I haven't, no, first of all, I... I understand I made it up, but you're the guy who says it.

I don't say it. Sure, did I make it up fine? Yes But you do say it all the time. I I've never probably why do you keep you can't say I say it all the time And then slip in whisper probably at the end now you probably do say it a lot I don't say I knew a max this weekend kept saying it before you fired your guns Into tree stumps that you put we didn't files in her head Which is ridiculous because that means you were shooting at seek targets not even Iranian people You were shooting at Iraqis you were the country I did I did get the compound bow of this weekend to start getting my My sphere energy out just in case because here's the thing you got in

I I the way you got in is not gonna happen again. That was a a once-in-a-million Hey, get us in you're in the next one. It's gonna be like hey, man. I can't just let that happen again It's gonna be like you can't you're right. He can't everybody who asks. Yeah, it's over. So you're a veteran, dude I'm actually I got the compound bow out this weekend. I started shooting at some targets. I'll tell you the target you should be shooting at, somebody else in the Rogan Sphere, you take them out. Now, some guy, Torelli Picks, made a beautiful welcome poster for me and Lewis into the Rogan Sphere.

With all the characters on it. I wanted to be a magnet. And we're on the, yeah, it's pretty cool. This is what sad I was though, I looked and I was like, am I, no. Metzger? Metzger's in there? Metzger's in there. Where is it? Let me see, who else is in there? Alfred E. Newman from Mad Magazine. Also is there.

Kurt's in the Rogan Sphere. Yeah, apparently. Well, listen to me, he lives there now. He lives there. He doesn't go on the show a ton, but he goes on. But he likes him. Yeah. He's in the Sphere.

Tim Doan, Brian Simpson, Dave. He's in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. He lives there and he goes on. He doesn't go on the show a ton, but he goes on. But he likes him. And, yeah. He's in the sphere. Tim Dillon, Brian Simpson, Dave, Shane.

Joey Diaz. Joey Coco Diaz, Theo Von Alfre Newman, Ari, Tony Inchcliffe, Tom Segura, Kurt Metzger, Bert Kreischer, and now the two of us. But I'll tell you what, Bobby, if there's one part, you could either, you could wait for Kurt to vibrate so fast that he just disappears one day. Or the Juleys just might take him out.

Juleys just might take him out, absolutely. Who's the guy on the left, down the bottom left? The black dude. Brian Simpson. Brian Simpson. Brian Simpson. There's only one black dude in the sphere dude. Brian Simpson. Brian Simpson. Brian Simpson. There's only one black dude in the sphere? That's it.

That's so fucking wild. There's plenty. Everyone's represented. Kim's gay. It's the same face, it's literally the same face seven times. Everybody in the sphere is basically the same dude. Louis is only the third sort of ethnic.

Yeah, we got Coco, Diaz is Cuban. Yeah. You got Puerto Rican. Oh, Tom's half something. Tom's half Mexican. Is he Mexican? He's Mexican, yeah. I believe he's Mexican.

His mom's Mexican. No, his mom's something. His mom is Mexican. Why are you committing to that? I don't know. I wanted to fucking doubt. I just wanted to be confident with it And it worked. She liked what she like Latvian or something. No, she's Mexican stop what she's not buddy. Look at me She's Mexican the video of Tom Sikors mom's farting is my favorite video of all time on the internet One of the greatest things I've ever watched just I's just, put it on again right now, Christine. It'll never not be funny.

Yeah, put it on, it's in Spanish, in Mexican. Put it on. For nine full. See. See. I love that you lost weight to get into this fear too. So it's not gonna be lifted up on shoulders? You can be on the shoulders, because if that wasn't, the guy would have had to like, made Joe's knees wobbling.

Absolutely. You know what I mean? Put knee braces on him. But now you look fantastic. Yeah, there is a weight limit at the sphere, as Christine will tell you about a lot of like those Hollywood type parties. Look how fat Segura used to be.

There's a weight limit here. This is Tom Segura. There's a weight limit at this party. I know. I know Rogan's here. And just that shows you that God is real. Yeah. Look at God. God is good all the time.

This is a magical moment. Let's do volume up. I love this guy. Let's let's watch. I can't believe I'm finally... And his mom doesn't know that he's filming so she turns right at the end she has a little smirk like, yeah, baby. Do you ever tell you the things he had to do?

Do you ever hear the things he had to do to get her to let him put this up? What? He had to send her to the casino with some weird amount of money and spending money and cash. Is Tom Sager's mom Mexican? Peruvian.

Yeah, see? I'm trying to find what his father is. You said Mexican. Yeah. And you committed hard to it dude. It's you're saying Peruvians Mexicans. It's the same It wasn't just like towel heads and Iranians Peru Peru was part of Mexico until it broke off in the 1368 war of Peru where the agonquin Mexicans of Peru where the Igunquit Mexicans... Yeah, if you would have kept talking, if you would have stopped after the first sentence,

I would have just moved on subjects because I didn't know for sure if that was true, but then you started showing your own ass. With the Igunquit? You kept going. The Igunquit, yeah. But the first thing, when you said Peru broke off of Mexico before it went to wherever,

I was gonna be like... 1368 war, the Mexicans? I was like, I don't know, that may have happened. I go, I have no idea where Peru is. It's so funny, too, to have all this shit happen this weekend in the news and then just to see Dave Smith as a professional person on all the news outlets. And I'm like, I know that guy. I did a podcast with him where we said some really awful weird shit, and we did some crazy shit, and he's on the news just laying it out to these guys

and holding his own, talking about shit. And I'm just like, I don't know what the fuck he's saying, but it sounds fantastic. Yeah. I said, Dave, though, he does Legionist Gang still, solely so he still is able to talk to anyone who doesn't have a stupid Lord of the Rings accent. Everyone he debates is always, he always says, the guy's like, shimshara bim Dave, and you Dave,

and you don't know because you've never been a player. And he's like, Nigel, Nigel, can I answer the question? Well Nigel, let me finish. Nigel. Nigel, if I could just, Dave, but Dave Smith, you bobby bums in Flumbly Blyth. So he has to come to Legion of Skanks just to hear some guys say, dude. Also on Piers, I listen to Dave on Piers Morgan. He's always great.

I listened to him on Piers Morgan this weekend. Dave Smith and he... The first time I caught him doing like, he was having a debate with like a dignified whatever guy I get and he said the first time I caught him doing, he was having a debate with like a, something dignified, whatever guy, and he said, dude, I caught a dude for the first time, Dave. He's like, blah, but dude, what are you even talking about? You're like, ooh, that's out of the range of what this is. We gotta get Dave in ears, in ear,

because he's the only one on the TV with headphones on. Oh yeah. We gotta get him in ears, because he's gotta look, look, he's rocking it, but he's with headphones on. Oh yeah. We gotta get him in ears. Cause he's gotta look, look he's rocking it, but he's got headphones on. And he looks like a radio DJ. We gotta get him in ears. So he looks professional.

Put the in ears in, give us the logo on it. Yeah, I need him with a TV next to him so he can show me the day's goings on. Something right. It's pretty wild man that that fucking dude is in the midst of those politics. Like talking about Iran and America and Trump and they're going to Dave Smith for his opinion.

That's a wild life to live, to be able to hang out with you and fucking Lewis, to be able to go to Skankfest and do all this crazy shit and then go on the news and fucking... He's like, hang on, Fox Knightley needs me. It's such a crazy life. Hey guys, I gotta hit the McLaughlin group, so catch you queefs later. Yeah, he's very comfortable on those shows. He doesn't feel like, you know what I mean?

He doesn't feel outmatched. Has he always been in the background? Have you known him to know about this stuff and be into all this stuff? Yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he just is doing the same thing he was doing

then in a sense, he's just saying it in a microphone now, but as far as like, he's just being like a, he's just like a commentator. He's like running for anything. I remember him from like being in the MMA, hammer-fisting him and Lewis, and I remember, but I never knew when he transitioned to politics. Like was he always into politics back then?

No, he just tried years ago on gas stations where everybody tried to do their own thing too. He thought he'd do a thing. He started out with this kid Travis Pignon, that one Haywire. And then he tried like another guest, like or a co-host or two, and then he started just doing it by himself

with Robbie the Fire. Yeah. He started like a Facebook series, Dave Smith On. He was doing that for a while, but he was always into it, but it was, I mean, maybe what, like eight, nine years ago where it started like meshing more and he started doing more stuff publicly

like as somebody that comes. Because most people stick to what brought them, you know what I mean? They dance to what brought them. Like, you know, he's hanging out with you guys, he's in the skank world, blah, blah, blah. It's so successful. It's a very successful world you guys live in.

Well, it's been a good place for him to also pull people because there's fans of ours who do give a shit about political stuff? We don't get me and Louis fuck But like you know I mean so Dave was able to like there's people who are like long-term Legion of skanks fans that are like Also now into whatever Dave's goofy politics are right I'm sure it's great. I just gave them down roads Sure whatever he wants us to do is fantastic. But I can't build bound road.

It'll never happen. I'll procrastinate forever. It'll never ever happen. Yeah, it's funny because if you talk to Voss, I'll call him and he'll talk about politics. God bless Voss, I love him. I know his heart's in the right place. But he just goes on and on about politics. God bless for us, I love him. I know his heart's in the right place. But he just goes on and on about politics.

Oh yeah. And you're like, you gotta settle down a little bit. You sound ridiculous a little bit. I understand, I get it. But then you listen to Dave, he's well read. He's like, the amount of work he has to do to deal with these people, he can't fuck around because these people are highly intelligent people

that he's talking to. Sure, but it's also a world. I'm talking well read, you know what I mean? deal with these people, he can't fuck around because these people are highly intelligent people that he's talking to. Sure, but it's also a world. I'm talking well read, you know what I mean? It's also a world where you can like, you can say like, oh yeah, no I guess that's true. I mean he's changed his opinion on stuff. Yeah, I mean yeah.

He used to be pro-choice. I don't. For Christ's sake. And he's not anymore. I don't think so. Wow, you know. No it's just. He's religious now. It's pretty wild.

What, you, nerd? Um, dude, you'll get religious someday. Why? You will. No, I'm god for that. You'll find god. Where? He's with you right now, dude.

Everywhere? Yeah, he's everywhere. Your god. Your god is with you right now. Really? Yeah, you can't have my god, though. You can't handle my god. Who's your god?

Nah, dude, I can't tell. Colin Quinn? I can't tell. No, he used to be my god, but not anymore. Cause he got married. Except for since he got married, I couldn't be my god anymore. Oh. Yeah. That's whack.

Yeah, Steve Byrne was my god for a minute, but you know. Steve Byrne? Yeah. I didn't see that coming at all. Well, the whole Buddha thing, you know what I mean? Oh. Yeah. He's too skinny for Buddha stuff.

Well, I became the Buddha. I wonder if Steve's religious at all. No. No, he is, I think he is. I mean, his calm down and his personality since having kids and stuff is pretty crazy. Yeah. It is funny that we've been doing this long enough

to see people go from pretty wild late night every night guys to like, my back hurts, I have to mow the lawn tomorrow anyway, so I'm getting out of here. Yeah, we talked about that last week when it was, it's like when you have a kid, all of a sudden you get some type of empathy for the world or people and your kid

and things matter differently and it, before a kid I really didn't give a fuck about anything. It's like fuck everybody, I don't care if I live, I've lived in a shit hole and I was fine. I lived with Billy Byrne, an African dude, and it was awesome. I never even thought it sucked.

I was like, this is great. I got blow jobs in the hallway if Billy was home. And I, you know, I smoked cigarettes, I got a cup of coffee and I did comedy. It was awesome. But then when you have a kid, you have to provide. And you get nervous about all kinds of other shit, but you also start to open up, like things, your heart opens up a little bit.

I don't know. Starting to have a tail of meat, I know that because I had a kid young though, and all my friends didn't, is that now I'm like, hey, you guys want to just do something recklessly and smoke pot and go to a concert and get fucked up on a Tuesday? And I'm like, buddy, I got the kid.

And you're like, oh, you're supposed to have done that already. All right, fine, I guess I'll do that with my kid instead of you then. Yeah, your kid Josh. Yeah, I'm gonna bring my boy Josh there. I'll go with you, man, I'm here. I'm never having a kid.

Come on, daddy. My jizz don't work. I do so much stuff and inject it right into my cock. Daddy, daddy, you home? You home daddy? I'd rather get a pair of Travis Scott's than have a baby, come on. Daddy, come on daddy. I hope Josh was calling me daddy. Daddy, daddy's home. Daddy, you gonna get me, you gonna eat the rest of that hamburger daddy? Cause I will. Daddy, can we do McDonald's I was good I was so good daddy can I get my phone back from the last time I made you mad daddy daddy

can I please drive the car this weekend Susie wants to go to a movie daddy Susie he'll wind up with a Susie that was, was that a good go-to for Bruce Springsteen? It was always, Susie and me were doing something at a lake in a fucked up car and we were out later than we should've and the local sheriff, she had to go home and do whatever. Are we supposed to like him? I've never liked Bruce. They rearranged the fucking lobby for him.

I know, I walked in and I thought we were definitely getting fired today. You know, on commercial break. There was no couches. On commercial break, I'm gonna go suck him in the face out there. Is he out there? Let me know if he's there black woman goes sock him in the face, huh? Yeah, yes, whether they rearrange the thing cuz he doesn't he didn't like the feng shui that place America's in trouble. We've got to get rid of these couches given to some Mexicans America's in trouble, we gotta get rid of these couches and give them to some Mexicans. I'll come in if you give those chairs to some people that need them. Asshole.

Alright, if I gotta do a couple radio interviews, I gotta split some wood. It's so funny to me that these guys act like they're so down to earth. He hasn't been down to earth in 40 years. Southern, like cowboy. Yeah, these guys. Time to put on my John Varvado's cowboy shoes. I got this bell buckle made of gold just for me. I never rid a horse in my life.

Time to go feed, time to go to the stable and bale some hay in my Ferragamo black cowboy boots. I don't want to get dirt on them. Hey, do me a favor, hold this Rolex while I pat this horse. 35 minute train ride to New York City. It sure is dusty, it's very dusty out here. A journeying town to where I grew up. Ho-Hem? Freehold, yes.

Nowhere to go, man. Oh, God. Nowhere to go. Do you like them, Lou? Big city's 30 minutes south of the Biggest Door. You like Bruce? Yeah, I like him. You do? He loves them.

You love him? Of course, dude, speaks to his soul. Is it your life's work? No. No, but it's adjacent. It's adjacent? Yeah. There's seven songs he sings that Lou cries to.

What song do you cry to? Seven of them. What? I like the hits. No, no, no. What do you cry to? Is of them. What? I like the hits. I don't know. What do you cry to? Is it this one? No.

You always put this one on. Bruce Springsteen's never made me cry. Hercules. It'd be funny if Black Lou just brought him in and we're trashing him. Hercules. We don't tell Jay, just keep singing. Hercules.

He just taps. Hey, that's pretty good. Get him in here. Hercules. Brute. I'll tell him he stinks to his face. Get him in. Whitskittown. I'll be like, I never got you, you rambling asshole.

You haven't affected me once. Listen to Pearl Jam on a small speaker. I don't sing that well. And sometimes my wife jumps in and she can't sing too. Chewing cigarette gum. I got a sing too. Chewin' cigarette gum. I got a big band. With guitar. I don't know their names anymore.

I don't even know what they do. I hate big, I hate when they have a big band. Just a bunch of fuckin' people you don't need. You need a guitarist, a bass, a drummer, and maybe a keyboard and that's it. Bobby, I'm with you. Yeah, fuck this jam band shit. Go fuck fuckin fucking two guitar players, two drummers, suck it. Fucking some asshole in the back doing some stupid shit. I hate it.

A horn player, that's piano. No, go back to the other one. I like the towns. What's this one? What's this? That was glory days. Glory days. It's easy to write lyrics for this.

This panzer tank is acting white for his in-laws. Can you do Lewis's poem to this song? Black loot. Can you do Lewis's poem to this song? Huh? Can you do Lewis's poem to this song? Now that'll feel cold and alone. I never wrote you a poem. I am fed.

My thank you for that. Calm down. It's a perfect Bruce Springsteen St. Louis poem. You gotta redo it. Do you have the words for the poem, Christine? Oh, look at it. Shooting guns with my boy, killing some towelheads all weekend long. We didn't do that. We never said that.

Bobby Town. Bobby Town? Bobby Town. I mean, Jesus, man. Bobby Town. I am not. I'm against what we did this weekend. I'm for Dave Smith for president. Whatever Dave says, I say, Christine's watching Schitt's Creek.

David, when that new section city show hates in the city. She does not. I hate it and City. She does not. I hate it. It's so unrealistic. Everybody has a perfect apartment. Christine Town. Everybody's rich and has a perfect apartment. It makes me sick.

Is there a new Sex and City? Is there a new Sex and City? Yeah. Oh, there's fucking dykes and lesbos now. Some of them are lesbians. It's on season three. Christine says she hates it, but you have to watch it, but people are begging for it to stop.

It's terrible. It's gotta, I mean, who watches it? I heard it's like the Woke is the Woke shit. Like, they really have crowbarred everything in there, possibly. Well, because they've been- I'm a transgender comedian lesbian. Yeah, they did two they them storylines.

Here's what happens, because when they first started it it the rest of the girls were all just actresses that needed money and needed a gig and by now they're all fucking millionaires and they can live in their little bubble and be whatever the fuck they want and the short redhead girls nuts she ran for mayor right then she real she ran from there. Yeah, yeah. I believe. Something new. Yeah, she's out of her mind. The ugly ginger girl running from there. And they got rid of the hot one, the slutty one, because she was too slutty. She hasn't been hot since 86. What happened?

It's a tea between her and Sarah Jessica Parker. What were they fighting about? I think money. Kim Cattrall town. Really? Kim Cattrall was hot. The girls are YouTube on this show. Kim Cattrall town. Not as hot as whenall was hot. The girls are you on the show?

Not as hot as when she was in Mannequin, but she's hot. I'm a mannequin. Kim Cattrall with me. Shaq Taylor. Who's the short haired dude? Cynthia Nixon. Miranda. Oh, Miranda. Lesbians, transgender bitches. I didn't kill off her character.

She's alive in the characters alive. Why are they? Yeah, she's an English. Do they have a real trans girl in the show? Real trans. No, it wasn't trans. It was a they then comic. Who's they them? On the surges, a good time. You say Jessica Sarah Jessica.

Jessica. I mean, she's going to the mall shop Say Jessica Sarah Jessica damn oh Jessica I think Jay watch was a good one You know what? I think it was me and Suzy going to the malt shop because there's still a malt shop Oh that's her? Yeah I had Jay watch her they got her Netflix special taping and I had Jay watch it just show them how horrible it was and it was like embarrassing to watch It can't be that bad

No it's not that bad It's gotta be great Put it on it's probably great. I think you should put it on, especially for Pride Month. Let me hear it. This boat. Let me hear a little bit of it. Let me hear a little bit of it if you have it.

This boat. Wait, is she gay? This is a trans? No, they them, non-binary. Was she an alien? Things over gay? So is it, oh, okay. That's not trans.

All right, all right. Was that the girl an alien? No, that would be that lady would be Substantially older than this lady. Yeah She was on Grey's Anatomy though. She had beautiful long hair. Hey Jay. No shit Really gonna Never performing it a place in my car, and he's like. Love when Jay answers you seriously. We joke around for an hour and 40 minutes.

No, no, no. That would've been way old. She'd be way older. That's my limit. Hour 40's my limit. After that, I take everything literally. Really? After one hour 40, it's something weird to me.

It's the internal clock, they say. They go, well, we're at a 135. That's why we had to stop the show at 146. I've gotten way serious. Because you get way serious, and you wind up talking about shit. You're like, who's this dipshit? I go, I don't think it's a dipshit. I want to try that out today.

I think it's just a guy who's just being cool. I want to try that. At the end of the show, just start asking you questions. Big J Town. What's her name? Big J Town. What's this girl? On the show, it's J.D.z, but the actress is Sarah Ramirez.

Sarah Ramirez. So she's just an actress. Is it they them? Well, this article says Sarah Ramirez wants to remind you they are not actually Che Diaz, so I think the actress is they them now. Or actor. What would you be, Jay? He her?

He her? Is that a pronoun? Ew? He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, Pro downtown, pro downtown. This is how good you have Bruce Bristie. He's been singing great songs for the last 15 minutes about anything.

Pro downtown. This asshole just comes up with a slow beat and starts humming shit on the microphone. Him and her and what Let's give some of a comedy did I vamp enough So I didn't know you didn't So I didn't know you didn't Comedy within the the show In the show she's a stand-up comedian life. She's an actress but in the show she goes by was it Joe Diaz or some? Che and they're watching her comedy on the in the show

Yeah, they go to see it because they and they can't believe cuz girl she has got it oh I have to see this I can't believe that she got you to watch this they had a comedian right I love watching terrible comedy stuff you like sex in the city no no no she watched me watch that scene oh just that no you don't watch any Christine's shitty shows I mean sex the other one is alright. Schitt's Creek is good. Bobby said Creepy stuff Gay things and stuff Schitt's Creek is not gay if you like it.

No, it's not Bobby Town. It's a small town that they own. No, we shotguns on weekend. Bone arrow. In between kisses They shotguns I didn, bow and arrow. In between kisses, they shot guns. I didn't kiss my son. I didn't say it was open mouth.

All right, well, there you go. But now we're all thinking it's Bobby Macstown. No, Jesus Christ, man. This is on the verge of a fight. Bobby Macstown. I mean, dude, this is, I'm going to call HR on you right now. This is nuts. You went to the gun range?

Went to the gun range, yeah. And what'd you shoot? We shot the.38 and the.22. Both.38s, yeah. Small.38 and the easy,.38 easy. And then the.22 rifle. He's a great shot. Really better shot than me.

Really? Yeah. What does he shoot? The.22 rifle, he shoots everything. He shoots all the guns. Really? Yeah. Every single one of guns. Really? Yeah. Every single one of them.

Yeah, why are you vamping with me right now? What are you talking about, dude? Nah, you're vamping. I know what you're doing. I know you, you ass. What are you talking about, dude? You have a marker and you just drew something and you're vamping with me so you can get to your point.

Now, blacklou's up videotaping whatever you're doing that I can't see, and you're drawing, you're using your art skills. I don't know, it was a big thing, dude. It's not a big thing, you're stalling. Why are you stalling? What are you talking about? I was just showing everyone the targets

that you guys were shooting at. That's an Indian! That's a talent, you said. That's an Indian guy, that's a Sikh. Why would I shoot at a cab driver guy? Oh my God, dude, that's a Sikh. Why would I shoot at a cab driver guy? Oh my God, dude. What a terrible person you are. First of all, that's an Indian, that's not a towel head.

What? That's not the terrorists. It's like town is it. No, they're not terrorists. Oh wait, was it this guy that I have to have the. The. The MMA beard. Yeah, did he have to have the MMA beard?

This beard, is this more of your target? I mean that beard is terrifying on anybody. That really is, yeah. It is, that MMA. I accept the hipster kid. Yeah, but now that's, Puerto Ricans get it now, and it's terrifying. That beard with no mustache frightens me every time I see it.

You wanna sniff a marker, dude? That's gotta be aboveboard Yeah, yeah sure What if that takes me down look at Lou's like don't do it. Can I take you down? Yeah, probably Can't take me down can't you get a song for that can't you get a Bruce Stink? You guys are pussies dude. I could do like fucking two markers a day. I hope it's I'll be just get addicted to it That you think. In hilarious addiction town. You got kicked out of the sphere because you got addicted to markers.

Oh, could you imagine, dude? Out of the sphere? If I was the first person that would beg to be in the sphere and was let into it, I wouldn't be the first person removed, told after the goal. I'm sorry, you have to leave the sphere. To take a patch off of me. What a sad day.

Oh my God, that first hour flew. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna take a break. Thank God. Radio town. Thank God we're gonna take a patch off of me. What a sad day. Oh my god We're gonna take a break. We're gonna take a break. Thank God radio Thank God. We're gonna take a break because uh, Bobby's gonna be somewhere I don't don't say I'm not killing anybody Coming back to watch this. I gotta watch this and just and just like that stand-up comedy I hate you itching you want to attack this I don't And just like that stand up comedy? I hate person.

You're itching, you wanna attack this picture so bad. I don't wanna attack that picture. I do not. It's just a picture, Bob, he's not a real towel. It's a beautiful, I love that you stuck his tongue out, he's taunting me. Uh. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Big Jay is gonna be this weekend, he's gonna be at, what? Not this weekend. Not this weekend, oh, you have two weeks off, right? More than that. Wow, all right. Two more weeks off. July 11th and 12th at Comedy

Zone in Charlotte. Great club. After that he's going to be in Tacoma, Los Angeles and Sacramento. For tickets and all the tour dates go to BigJComedy.com or go to YouTube.com slash at BigJOkerson. Watch both the specials. Speaking of they them, that's the name of the special. Pronoun Town. Pronoun Town. Pronoun Town. Bobby Kelly's going to be at the Empire They them that's a name is special pronoun pronoun Bobby Kelly's gonna be at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine July 24 my god. Oh my god July 25th and 26th Watch out. Yeah after that he's gonna be in Rochester Tampa emails PA strapped in every one. Yeah, it's all those good towns Look Tampa, Rochester. He will eliminate the front row to make a point. I've seen him do it. Punchup.live slash Robert Kelly for all those dates.

That makes you catch him every Tuesday down at the Fat Black Pussycat, the comedy seller. Except for a few you gotta take off and hang. I'm taking a couple off and I'm taking all of August off. Yeah, but you're gonna take them off and go and be in New Hampshire a little time. You gotta have them off on hang a little bit. No, I'm coming on July, I'm taking two off.

I'm gonna give it to the Cripple. Nice. Yeah. The Cripple. I like that. Who's that? Keith Robinson. Oh, he goes to Tiny House?

No. He does the show for me. Oh, you give him the show. I give him the show, that's why they put all the... Oh, so you're saying I'm in Tiny House? I'm like Keith by himself? That won't be a good, that won't be okay. He takes over my two-chairs.

Oh, there's a snake in the house! Ow, a snake in the house there's a white lady next door all right I have to read a commercial Bobby you got a commercial so yeah I have a commercial I have to read so if you win mine we'll be back I mean this can you get that off what yeah you're going I have a commercial I have to read I mean geez I'm sorry I got to read the commercial we'll be right back