The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Ten Year Divorce

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

The gang is back for the new year; Jay's divorce finally went through and Christine has concerns over her future!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. What better way to bring us back in the new year than one of three good YouTube songs? Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, rules.

New Year's Day. New Year's Day. Where the streets have no name. And that's the three I think. Roxanne. Nope, that's the police. Oh, whoops. No, it's totally fine.

People make that mistake all the time. It's the bonfire, everybody. 2024. We're back. This is the year that myself and Robert Kelly own together. So exciting. Is it 2024? Is bonfire just us? No crazy carpet poles?

No crazy flip up and switch ups? No parachutes pulled? No parachutes pulled. The contract is valid now. Everything is legal. It's secure. We have a YouTube page. We have a YouTube page finally. It's up with content. We are making content. We got the cameras now. We got cameras. I got the other two. So we now got a three camera little shoot in here. We're gonna have a video for you guys. We're gonna have We're gonna have a YouTube page everything's being stirred up. I met a young lady this weekend with her fiance by the way, this is how cool these people were

I'm gonna say her name is Ricky and She is throwing her hat in the ring. She said for spokesperson model and then I was on for a moment I was like we told Lynn that it's her position forever. But I don't mind a little friendly competition. Also the idea that I thought Lynn did come in to our lives when Dan was here. We had to fill you in on Lynn. I was just barely, just barely coming in, yes.

I was filling in for Dan. So the spokesmodel position, maybe of Bonfire 2.0. It might be negated. That was negated versus it's maybe open for for the show. Contest. What it is now. Now listen,

tough act to beat. I'll tell you that tough. Lin for the win is she calls herself that for a reason. She is a fine looking lady. She's got a wonderful hamburger. So many people. Yeah.

Her pussy is is mad delightful. It's a, it should come with its own sauce. It really is. It looks like it never had hair. It's that kind of bald. I mean, every, there's no discoloration. There's no little nuggets. There's no wrinkle.

I mean, it's, everything is beautiful. No nubs, no flips, no flaps. Yeah, beautiful face, the face. And then she just put out one, a picture that I mean, people, I've had more than one person reference this picture to me, where she's wearing the white, she's wearing like a white shirt, like skin tight to her chest on Instagram.

She's just Instagram posts. It's pretty insane. Yeah, Christine, it is. It's like a brand new flavor of oatmeal you enjoy. Mm hmm. I'm big Jay Hokerson. That of course is Greenworks tools spokesman Robert Kelly over there. A couple of sun. Greenworks tools. Well, can I explain myself? You're a maniac. I'll tell you this. I'm an influencer. And influencers don't care

when you film and there's other people around. That's just part of the game and you know what? When when I believe in a company, I'm gonna let you know because I want you To know what is the best product out there for your money and that's what influencers do I influence people and I'm gonna buy influence people to get a green works 80 volt snowblower. Well, you also, by the way, you're gonna make your son an incorrigible teenager. He's gonna be hard to deal with. Going to.

You got. You know what? I tell you right now. I mean, you starting some trouble, dude. Yeah, he's got green works tools in his corner now, Jacob, he could woodchipper you in an instant. Yeah, he's got a sponsor for his training camp. What are you gonna do jog around Florida?

I like Max wearing that crazy looking gas mask to run with. Yeah, he says green works on it. Kill the awesome green works. Bobby got Max. He goes, he glays over this in the video too. He goes, I got my 80 volt snowblower off from Greenworks. It goes, I got Max one too. And he just moves on. I'm like, you bought your, he bought him a tiny snowblower. Yeah, you know why? Do you know why? Why? He goes around the neighborhood and makes money. Well, bonfire context, because you put an Instagram post out.

I put, thank you for giving me the context. It's not moved. It's gone. I couldn't find it again. Well, it's gone because I put it up yesterday at around 12 o'clock. So it's only on the story for 24 hours. Yeah, it was a story. Look, they didn't pay me or give me anything to go on my main story.

I mean, I'm an influencer. You know, I'm not going gotta give him that type of showcase. But I bought him his own snow blower to go make money. Okay, you know what? Yeah. I'll shut up. I'm sorry. He made 40 bucks last year. 2024.

Yeah, I can't believe you just went past that. You see what he just did? I'm sorry. Oh my God. I'm sorry, because we've never heard it. Janice Dan, so. Oh, you've heard it. I just heard it.

I glaze past it sometimes, but I look to you. Wow. I go, you know what? That's a good reason to buy him a little snowblower. I'm sorry. I can't breathe. I was wrong. And you were right.

Wow. I thank him so much. I couldn't wait to open my stupid, fat ignorant mouth about your stupid green workstools. And my fucking car would do this dumb kid. And his son was gonna turn into a little prince. He's gonna be on Epstein Island, dude. Rallying up chicks.

Hey Jeff, I got a new batch coming in. He's, yeah, he's making money, man. He made his own, this is why I like him too, is because he got some of the other kids in the neighborhood to work for him. And he paid them less money than I did. Okay, now that goes along with what I said. Yeah, I think Jacob, I don't think your hands smashing the table of anger was that, but it should have been like Christ almighty.

He thought he was going to give a son a good, honest, hard days work, and then your mean son went out and hired Mexican kids to do, he sourced it. He, he, he, Lewis Gomez. He Gomez. The neighborhood.

And then took all the credit. He, holy shit. Yeah. He sort of far, you know, Max, where's the of far you max. Where's the snow blower and why are you home? He goes, oh no, I got a couple guys doing a little job for me over around the corner.

I'm gonna go by there. He's the flea became the foreman. Yeah, he's the foreman. He's the foreman of the snow extraction business. Yeah, where do you pick them up from, what corner? He's not a pamphoon. He just thought of blocking. He went behind home depot with a snow blower.

Ola, Ola, Migos, snow over, move along. You, you, and you. Snow our remu-world, my favorite. Um, yeah. Seniors, it is me, Maximus Kelly. I am here to ask you for your services. We, we actually, um, we do the neighbor next door for free. I'm here to ask you for your services. We actually, we do the neighbor next door for free because they're a little older.

Sure. So he'll go over there for nothing and do there. Snowblown. But that time lapse you did video of you snowblown the driveway. Looked like it was still probably under 10 minutes. It's so fast. But I forgot my phone on the back of my truck.

Did you see the end of it? Yeah, it was just there just filming your clean driveway. I moved the truck and I almost ran over my phone. That wasn't in the clip. That was at the end of it. I don't think I made it. I watched it very early. I read the things I was like I assumed it fell or something but it clips up. Yeah, I did my old influencer video. You know, you got to come out of the beginning and say, guys, how you doing? You got to look at the camera, you know what I mean? You're gonna turn around a couple times

and then, you know, you cut to little max and then I did a little time lapse because that's what the people love that. I read that in the algorithm. They like the time lapse. Yeah. I do that. What I do is I make Christine open her legs and I put the time lapse camera, film in her

couch, and then I dance around the room and fun ever. And we see how it gets damp. You see it get damp in that. But then you see it, you see it get dry again. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like Turns into a desert, the flowers die, her pubes die. It was so dank, now it's arid. Looks like a young Gypsy. A young Gypsy Rose. She's out, dude. And judging by her boyfriend, we could all get her.

Yeah, we could get her, dude. All we gotta do is pick you. I would've killed your mom for you. It's so weird, she's out. Why? Well, I mean, she, listen, I feel bad for her in her situation, for sure. Oh, no, this is.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard, you haven't heard about this at all? Come on. She's a national news right now. So you just got out of jail. She was the lady, they made a God, docu-series about her and the whole thing.

Yeah, so she, her mom was, what's it called? Monchows and Biproxy syndrome. Her mom, like, told everybody that she was a kid, like a little kid, even when she was like becoming an adult. She just like kept her sick. Like, she wasn't sick. She had nothing wrong with her, but she fed her through feeding tubes and shaved off her hair

So she was like bald. Didn't they do that to Jacob? Jacob got gypsy rose by his parents. That's why he's so cold all the time. Let's go back to Florida That's why he has to go back to his parents else in Florida yet they yell at him. Jacob you're out there. You're sick boy I feel fine mom So she when she got a little bit older and started to kind of realizing that she wasn't sick like that her mom's a lunatic she Got a hold of the internet like she was able to figure out how to get the internet whether it's on a phone or something I forget but behind her mom's back and started talking to this dude who was

Retarded and I mean that medically into this dude who was retarded and I mean that medically. Jamie Tart is you shy. Yeah, you know. So like she got a retarded boyfriend to come. What type of retarded? One of those like, okay, Gypsy Rose. Not Down Syndrome. Okay, no.

No, no syndrome, just like a simpleton, you know what I mean? No, okay. Does there any videos of him talking? You'll see, he's like, she said she was sad, and I didn't want her to be sad, so I did this time. Hair lip retarded. Yeah, hair lip retarded. I got ya.

Yes. Snaf, egg, zack. Okay. Is this him talking about her? Yeah, here you go. You'll see. This dude is prepped to kill your mother for you. Jacob, yeah.

Unfortunately, he's in jail for a while. He's got that look from the mistakes. And I feel that's really me and her both right now. We're learning from this mistake that we both made. I mean, the way she was raised, no one should ever, no child for that matter should ever have to be raised that way. I did feel that she was. By the way, her mother is such a big gross pig

and they had what's her name, player in the move in the show, Patricia Arquette, who they couldn't make anywhere near that ugly. But she was phenomenal in that show. She went on Emmy Award for it. She was close. She's close. I mean, she's not true romance anymore. She got a role. She's not Alabama I mean, she's not true romance anymore. She's not Alabama.

She's not Alabama. She's not Alabama. Alabama. Well, it wasn't on the gummy. She was the hottest in lost highway. David Lynch flick really naked a lot in that. What her? Yeah. I didn't see that. She was hot and true romance. So that was my type of girl. Sure. Well, yeah, little job for natural boobies, for reformed for reformed pig prostitute that we fall in love with for sure. Well, yeah, little job for natural boobies for reformed for reform pig prostitute that we fall in love with for sure Way hotter and true I mean like yeah, that's two weeks hotter. Yeah, that's she's mega naked

She is naked, but she was hotter and true romance true man way hotter With phone fell in love with her that opening scene. They found loving a day. Yeah, oh She fuck so much in lost highway though. Yeah, but she made love and true romance Look at that. Oh God. She's like the perfect woman. Yes, she's smoking Well now she's an old fat pig. She is Now that's what happens to all of us by the way. Well now she's an old fat pig. Yep No, she's still pretty fatally. What? I think, but is she ugly?

She get like busted all around. Yeah, that family does not age well. Well, no, I don't even know what the other one looks like. Oh, yeah. She, honestly, I mean, she looks better than she did in the show. Well, yeah, the show they made her ugly as possible, but you're right. You're right. She's aging, Ralph.

She looks like a fat Mag Ryan now. She, it looks like she's at least trying to go It looks like she's trying to go relatively naturally. Maybe I'm wrong about that But it looks like she's trying to go relatively naturally so many of them just do the fucking weird work on themselves They look crazy am I the only one that yes Sorry He do something to his face. No, he didn't know that was all for a movie. I was just in the movie I thought it was for his face too. I thought he did got worked on it was for the movie the claw to be in

What did he do for one of the Von Erichs? He had to get he had to do a lot of steroids get shredded and then he put a chin I think those guys have like those weird square Matt heads No, we've ever seen put a chin. His chin looks weird now, so he took that chin implant out I don't think you got a real one i think he's no no no no no no no i think they put like i'm telling you his face they did some prosthetics to his face for sure he might have prosthetics but that is prosthetics for the movie that's him right there he's just he's regular now from compared to what's chin

that's a picture before the the surgery i think you're wrong. Just typing in the chin. No, I mean, I've watched a couple of videos how surgeons are looking at saying he had implants. That's him. Cheek implants. I don't know. You know what?

He might have. It does look like he had something to fill at the top of his face. It does. Look at that. You might be right, Jake. Yeah. You know what, Jake? I'm sorry. Thank you.

Why is it dangerous? I don't think it's a new thing. I tell you what I think what it looks like there. It's a guy who now got like roared it up and yoked up. I think it's what I don't think it's I don't know if it's any surgery necessarily. I'm saying I've seen a couple of surgeons saying this is definitely cheek implants. Maybe. Well, your head gets bigger when you do roids. When you do the tee and you go way above it, it really makes your head big. Yeah, as a couple of guys who sometimes go back and on and off the shit. A couple of guys who were on and off the shit.

As a couple of guys who should be on and off the shit. Yeah, as two guys who were on the shit because we have lady personalities. But anyway, so yeah, Gypsy Rose hired that rude kid, not hired him. She like, you're my boyfriend and they had a written relationship. And then I think before they even met, or maybe she snuck off with him at one point, but it was some kind of a thing like, let's kill her in the middle of the night. He just came like and dofully did it.

Kill the mother. They killed the mother. How did he kill the mother? Stabbed her. He stabbed her shooter. He looked it up you looked it up but like and this is a movie you can watch the what movie is called It's a miniseries. She won the Emmy Ford and Joey King plays the gypsy Rose everyone was great That's called the act and it's really really really Chloe Sivane is in it. Oh, she's great. She's good She's a good neighbor, but they met remember they met at the movie theater and they fucked in the bathroom at the movie theater. And that was the first time they met. Oh, right, right, right. Who fucked in the movie theater? Her, she was like in her fake wheelchair.

And who played her? That's Joey King. Joey King. Okay. Yeah. So that was the first time they met. Who would, who would, what's her name play Chloe Savino who did she play Chloe Sivaney So Vanny what a neighbor. Oh really like the neighbor mom of the kids who kind of are like They like the girl but they're like something weird over there I was I know what they what they did was Jacob another reason why they're so like why they were so hated also and Really no fault to gypsy Rose I guess But that she kept her sick like that,

but made her relatively public about her fake trials and tribulations. So she was on talk shows and shit. They got a home built for them by houses for humanity or whatever, have a tattoo for you. Like a nice house was built for them and a good neighborhood. They've been to Disney World like 50 times

or something, some crazy, like they're just non-stop, make-a-wishes. Yeah, they're like a free class to go to Disney World whenever they wanted, but yeah, I was stabbed to death. We should do that. What? We should be 10, we're sick. Okay. And get free shit. You want to see we can get for fake and sick? We didn't get shit. You didn't try. Because you're a witch. You didn't put her out there I should have exploited my mother more. We should say that Jacob are sick son that we adopted Yeah, Jacob. Oh my god. Could you get a little more gong please?

Yes, if you get please if you get those cheeks to suck in a little bit I'd really could you not do carbs for a week? Yeah, it's your new character out switch Jake for a week. Yeah, it's your new character, Out Switch Jake. We just all just do is take a picture with all his blankets and hoodies on in the studio. And they were like, he's sick, he's dying. No, no, no, no, no, he's not, he think the boy's just dying. He needs the guy who does. But she's out and she's in New York right now, Gypsy Rose. Let's get her on. Disney, but she's out and she's in New York right now, Gypsy Rose. Let's get her on. Everyone's just the people still hate her, they understand.

No, I don't think people ever, I don't think people ever really hate it or ever. It's just the thing is like she's such like a person out. She's like, she already has on TikTok eight points, something million followers. Well, she's also doing like get dressed with me videos. So she's like, this is my outfit, you know, like, this is Ramzara. Check out my daily fit. By the way, the thing is, the mom did so much to her that it looks like a girl who survived many cancers. That's what it looks like. Like she's wacky looking. And she didn't kill. I mean, the guy did the act, but he. The act. I love the

fucking Christine's already planning it. She didn't do any of the killing. Oh, I killed. Yeah, Christine's gonna convince somebody to murder me. Yeah. I didn't say to it. I was under his rule. I met a nice man at the dog park who said he would murder my boyfriend for me. Oh, man, you know, it's funny. I think I started the new year with a fun revelation if we could because you weren't here for this Bobby and it was something that was just like on the quiet for a while.

I was, to have said this with a couple crowds to them officially divorced now, which is very cool. Oh, you can say it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm divorced. Yeah, that's, there's no problem. You can say your divorce, like yeah. I mean, I'm divorced. Yeah, that's, there's no good. You can say your divorce, like Jim Norton

can say is married. Yeah, that was the first time, for sure. Notice the first time on the show, I'm pretty sure that I said it officially. Yeah, yeah. But this, I want to tell it because how funny this was. Right. So one of the days you weren't here,

or you weren't here for a couple days, I had to have a guest host for a couple days. I'm sorry about that. It's okay. Okay. But you missed a really funny thing. So I called, the day it was for a couple days. I'm sorry about that. It's okay. Okay. But you missed a really funny thing. So I called the day it was official was the day before. So I had told my, you know, a handful of people, Christine obviously was excited to hear

and I told my agent manager, because for the longest time ever, they are the ones that are like, it's like, dude, you have to get to, like, you know, I mean, like the more things of things go good for you, like, it's like, dude, you have to get to, you know, I mean, like, the more things, the things go good for you. Like, it's just, it's, it's slowing everything down and whatever. So I was happy to tell them. And they, the next day I came into work and Lou says on the break, DJ Lou is like, uh, your manager's like sent something for you or you're, you're, you're managing to send something for you here, like a, just a surprise for you. When I even, who was from that first, there's a surprise for you or you said we manage to send something for you here Like a surprise for you We're not even who was from that first. There's a surprise for you the surprise for you, and I'm like Okay, he goes we should do it on the air though, right? We should do it on the air

And I'm like, oh, yeah, we get it on the air. He's like, yeah, now it's a good and he pulls it out and It's he hands me a box a cake box That I hope that I open up and it says, congratulations on your, we're alive on air. It says, congratulations on your divorce. If anyone's listening live and you wanna go back and find that episode, you'll hear the awkwardness in this room.

Oh yeah, we got the picture. Congrats on your divorce. So I open it, I can't say this in the thing, because Carla didn't, my ex didn't know yet. Oh, no No, no, I just found out the day before and they have to like mail a thing to her. She now she found out like a couple days later But I mean like I had just I didn't want to say a public yet. It just seems like shitty So like I didn't want to say the public but I open it and I'm like oh no I go a cake what's this for and then I'm like oh and we have to think of something and it was uh oh cuz kev it was also the night that kev kevin heart pushed my

special we legitimately thought it was a we thought that's what it was we're like oh must be like a joke like congrats on the kevin heart plug and the openness is very important I go on the keb. I go. Oh, it must be for Must be for the Kevin Hart thing. I'm panicky now Derose is sitting over there. He's like What's it say? I'm like I just as congrats he goes. Oh, is that all it looks like it says more than that And he's trying to stay up any any stand up like turning the cake away from him They're just gonna read a congrats on you because I don't even if I even told Joe necessarily a

I walked over and I just went Yeah, everybody shut down. Yeah, and then we're awkward. I'm like and there's just a dead silence and here we go So yes, that looks like a good cake. That's cool I had to move on so fast. Oh, holy shit. Dude that was such a weird moment. What's it say man? What's it say on? The roses the worst one to have in this studio. Oh that voice is exactly. Oh so funny. Congrats on your divorce dude.

We're just sitting there on the holy shit. None of us knew the reason for the cake. Of course, no, no, no, for sure. With no one's fault at all. It was just a hilarious moment that unfolded and you're like, is it done? Is it over? Are you divorced?

Yeah. So you can talk about it. There's nothing that can happen. There's no. Oh shit. What? Christine just went ahead. No, she has what I think with any divorce,

it's like a year to contest the settlement. Okay, so she can do something. She can contest the settlement. It's only money for this point. I'm divorced. That will never change. But she can get more money out of you, maybe. Maybe. So you got to be careful what you say. No. Okay. No, I'm not going to say it's going to make any difference on my. Yeah, I don't. I must be. Are you, are you, are you must be happy too, right? I am happy. It was fun to call my uncle. And I was like, guess who's boyfriend's divorced? Yeah.

I told my dad that it's such a ghetto thing to say. It's such a ghetto thing to say. And I told my dad I was like, Jays divorced finally, because my step sister is getting divorced. I'm gonna buy you a cake that says that. My boyfriend's divorced. My boyfriend's divorced, but we've just been together so long and this has been such a tedious process.

So it was very exciting that it was done. Because now you can get married. Yay, so exciting. Yeah, you don't want to get married. I thought I don't want to get married. It's a J doesn't want to get married. And it's nice having the excuse that my boyfriend's married rather than he doesn't want to marry me. Yeah, that was all on you, Kristine.

That was all on you. No, I'm just like, oh, I guess after a decade, Jay's not sure. Christian's got a screw. Yeah, that's what this, Christa's got a screw. That's not controller for me. I'm just screw. I'm just, Jay's staring through me with his eyes right now. Screws, dude. You can't trust that with co-signing. He said we could do power of attorneys, but he said that for the last eight years, I think. You know it takes 12 years for me to get something done. Is it, isn't it in New York, though? What is that called when you're... Common law? Common law. I don't know what common law is when you're living with somebody

that's married to someone else. But now it's... Now it's... Now it's... Now it's... Now it's someone else. But now it's not your time. It's not right now. Oh, so Christine, you got like six and a half years to make it worth it for me to have you around. I think New York is shorter. I don't think New York is six years. Look it up. Yeah, you got to see what your time limit is here.

No, that's my way. I feel fast, those fingers are typing. If I have never heard her, I've never heard her. her I've never heard her while I've been on the show Find something on the internet that fast You got to start it when you got the cake Christine from cake day That cake was for you well there it is what is it doesn't exist in New York? Oh my god So you can't get anything.

Your manager's gonna send you another cake. Guys, great news. Christine also gets nothing. Send the cakes. Mike, can you make a will? You need something. If something happens to him, you get nothing except the dog. Look at her watch. Look at her necklace. Look at all those things.

I'm not just sell it all. Yeah, because it's caskets. He's a big kid. I'm just gonna downsize all Yeah, cuz this casket season I get down sizes all down size stuff. Yeah, dude That's gonna suck you can have to move it with Rebecca and take care of the creek You in Dawkins you in Dawkins in a studio What Christine's gonna have to become a lesbian? Yeah, that's one of it. That's when my age goes up and I find a nice six-year-old that thinks I'm young and sexy That's right. You come what you money does he have? You come live with us Christine when you're gonna find this rich guy who thinks I'm young and sexy. That's right. You got much money, does he have? You come live with us, Christine.

When are you going to find this rich guy who thinks you're young and sexy? You better find him fucking quick. You better break up with me this year or next year. If something got for bid, I'm going to say got for bid before that. Got for bid, something happens to you. Got for bid.

You, you, you, who? And we've fucked completely, yes, Bobby. Who does it go to? Isabella. It did go to Carla up until like a week ago now it all goes to Isabella. Yeah, and my empire My place nation five couple hoodies. If I bring this stuff up, Jay's like it's like It's Places you five a couple cool hoodies You get you get mittens you got a couple fingerless gloves you place that you've got a couple cool hoodies. It's a mittens, you get mittens. You get a couple fingerless gloves, you get that.

You can buy cellos or something. You get a chain wallet. I tried to explain it my go. My ego geracies are probably worth some money. I go, if you died and I'm fucking devastated, it would be nice to not have to move that same month. You know what I mean? Like it'd be nice,

because I can't afford the lifestyle that I live in being with you. Not that month you wouldn't have to move No, you're a couple months I mean like that Christine you come in here you sit in that chair. We'll pay you the rest of his money for the rest of the year Yeah, and then we'll have a parachute It's gonna be a parachute don't you gonna get a parachute like me

Legion of scarring smurge for clothing you get a scarring smurge no doubt I mean we'll do like this gang fest memorial festival. Yeah, we're gonna do a my hobby. You're still in my special my boots for my special those are probably so far. Yeah, you know, my so my my boots for my special for a couple hundred. We're gonna we're gonna cut those mittens up and put a

tops card out. For a new tops card new mittens. Yeah, new new tops card. We're gonna cut maybe some of the posthumous the posthumous card. Damn, do yeah, that's a scary thing. Yeah, I new top card. We're gonna cut maybe some of the pants. The posthumous card. Damn, dude, yeah. That's a scary thing. Yeah, I think that Jay should create a will.

Because if Don, I'm sure that I'm protected. If I die, Don gets, I'll have, she gets a house, she gets the car, she gets the money, she gets the tiny house, she gets the both plots of land.

All three, she gets the land up in the hamps, she got both plots. Unless you have a will where you will stuff to other people. Like if you left a max something, but that's what happened like when my mom died, everything went back to my dad. So like I didn't get any ownership over the house.

Not saying that I shoulder that I'm entitled to that, but that was, you know what I mean? Well, you, that helped with an all spray paint. When my mom died, I became a drug addict after her death. It would have been all spray paint up. Yeah, I mean, that child when my mom died. Saying they a drug addict after her death. It would have been all spray-painted up. Yeah, when I left. I was a child when my mom died. Saying they left it to you,

you would have fucked that place up. You would have fucked a crack addict. Yeah, it would have been a fucking... What do you call it? A trap house? A trap house. I mean, it kind of was. Christine and her friends are having a naked putting shit in bags,

so no one thinks they're stealing. It would have smelled like fucking, like some type of herb and catch shit. Yeah, just catch it We just let them catch it in this room. No Christine listen your father much like I Understand one thing you're not to be trusted with anything You know to be trusted with anything important financial my argument I said something out because I just I honestly don't think that a bunch of money landing on a 20-year-old girl

See something happens to you tomorrow. I don't think a bunch of money. I'm like put it put some of that fucking carless Need before it all lands off and everything around me dropping dead tomorrow. You should I just say something Yeah, how old are you now 46? Okay, dude. You need to honest a god 46 you need to have a retirement plan and you need to have some things that will go to go for one care. I don't want to see Christine dating Justin just to get I want to I mean has a nice apartment Chelsea. I don't see fat. Get along. Come on, Christy. I don't see Josh. Her tagging along with Josh just because it's familiar.

No, Josh. He's the one. Justin though. Who do you think Christine winds up with or something happened to you? I think Justin and Justin and people lived together. I think they'd be very happy. Yeah, for sure. You think so? Yeah. I don't like her. We get along. She's not my type physically, but mentally we're good.

Yeah, we sleep in separate rooms. That's more because yuck, right? I still I still charge her to train her dog Something happens to Jay. I'm not dating anyone Jay knows Don't give a shit. So if something happens. Yeah, you wouldn't did anybody in the community. No, I don't know You don't me. I'm trying to fuck Justin No, we are on you dump me. I'm trying to fuck Justin What are you a drop? I think dumb ones gonna fuck God for you just this stick it to me

Justin that's great. Justin and Justin is gonna be in his room going shut up Justin and Christine they do stuff all weekends while I'm going a lot. What? Yeah. What? Yeah, we hang. What the fuck? We're dog gongs. Bobby, Bobby. Let her go. You want to come back? Did the day we fucked.

First stuff is packed. Dude, the day we found out that I was divorced, like the lawyer Collins, he was kayaking news for you. You guys, you're officially divorced and when we hung up I went to Christine. You got four weeks to get your shit crazy together or get the fuck out of my life. It's a new me. Here's the thing though, you can't,

and I can't either because they've kind of, and I don't mean this in a bad way, embedded themselves into our lives. And found out the things that we can't do or don't do, and they do them and if they leave, where fucked? Like, you don't have to find a young hot chick to book my flights for me now. Boo, who? It's more than that. It's a little more than that. It is a little more than that. It is a little more than that. Break. She also.

We should find, let's do this this let's find one hot girl take book both our flights. I gotta stay around I can't let some other woman go through that pain and suffering. A booking flights? Of being under your wrath. I have no wrath. I Know right my feminism does not allow me Fine fucking him go fuck him. That's the fun part I can't let him live with some other poor girl I'm gonna go she's like you want me stuck your dick in the bathroom and I'll go Where were you at let me see you bring a price line see if you can find me

How are you let me get my log let me be logging to my Dell tap Let me see you work Change this flight to a later time because I don't want to wake up so early Okay, all right. That was fast All right girl. Yeah, how am I getting to the airport though? How's that gonna happen? She doesn't even help with that. No You do Christine? We tell you something I pick you up from the airport every fucking you drive to the fucking airport I drive to the airport and pick him up. That's that's nuts

She does that and I pay for the car so you have a car to drive what a tip pick you up what airport either JFK or yeah, JFK all a Gwaria, but never newer Newark absolutely New York's actually the easy new work in LaGuardia You know it's pretty close JFK JFK is the worst you have to you go to jam you make her go to Four hours in the car. Are you that's abuse? What's four hours in the car? What's four hours in the car? Two hours there two hours back to JFK. Yeah at times That's a crazy overestimation. You should just get the Carmel app. Hit that. As soon as you get off the plane,

you push the button. They're waiting for you. I, yes. Wanna drive and smoke cigarettes that way, though. I have to get off the flight. But I'll say this, she never drives me to the airport. I have driven you to the airport. One time I had to do super after the flight.

I used to call and book the car for him, but then we got in a thing about, like, I'll book my own car. So that's what now to it's fun about. By the way, it's a phone call. Let me tell you. I'll tell you. Let me answer this. Okay. This is my favorite. It's my favorite thing to do to Christy when we fight. Trivialize everything that she does that I don't want to do into just like assistant work that's not that big of a deal. So I show her that. So she did, she used to set up my car for me in the mornings. Once we get into a fight about,

well who's gonna do all this? I go, Christine, it's nothing. I could farm this out to any dumbass and I will go and now I just booked my own car to the airport, it's that easy. It is pretty easy. Point made. It's super easy to book a car.

Point made. You know it's not easy? Yeah. Waking up and driving to the airports. Not, she doesn't do that. That's not easy. Not she car. Point me. You know, it's not easy. Yeah. Waking up driving to the airport. It's not. She doesn't do that. That's not easy. Not she doesn't do that.

We're even picking you up. That's a tough one. I never come home at a time. It's unreasonable. And if I'm coming, if I'm landing at like nine o'clock in the morning or something like that, I take a new work at. I mean, he's making great points.

I do. When it's an early morning pickup, I don't make you don't come. Me, but it's barely ever that. Oh, crap. Back on her. No, we do that on purpose. She can come get me So if if something happens to you tomorrow She get you get look out nothing so everything in the house you can't even touch. Oh, I don't know about that I'm pretty sure I guess like I guess there's stuff that he would be a

Proof of who owns what so what was paid on what cards? Pretty sure. I guess, like, I guess there's stuff that he would be a proof of who owns what? So what was paid on what cards? There's a couple of things I'd need to work on. I've seen you get everything in that apartment. I have, I'm dead, who cares? All of it. Would you have to give tokens away?

No, what? Who paid for tokens? That's very easy. Who pays for a docket? Who paid for docket? I would take it over. So wait a minute, but it's his dog his dog finite like he may he bought the dog You know what I was gonna I went to go buy it and he goes all pay for it

And I still I think about it sometimes where I go I should have paid for that fucking dog So it's a bell is dog It's his about You can't it's a bell is not taking the dog I bought her her dog so I could I could hold her dog hostage Our dog would kill Is about anyway so they're too allergic. I know but if your daughter had any funny bone in her body She would take the dog she would go I'm here for the dog. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Yeah, my dad never my dad never made a will So I think a little baby little baby's mine now. I'm gonna have to take the vibrators in the draw

Wow that's crazy. Like, Christine and novelty butt plug for Christmas. A novelty one, what was it? Just one of those the jewels in the back. Oh yeah, can you put it like a black light up on it and you can see his heads in it or something like something inside, you can see inside our asshole. We'll never know.

You should get one that has like a telescope so you can look in like a glass of soap. I think about that, it's just a clear and you can look into the butthole. Yeah, you can spend it. Yeah, I think you can spend it to clear specula Yeah, they've got it big dad. I'll buy that for you if that exists Christine great news Bobby's gonna buy you an asshole kaleidoscope. He's gonna buy you one. Oh for me for it's on you. It's yes It's for you. No common law marriage. I assume there was common law marriage Christine you are fucked I didn't realize how fucked you are. Well, you put a butt plug in Mm-hmm I is it oh, it's for him wait a minute. Are you saying he puts it in his bum? No

No, no, it's in a package still this time never get open. Oh, you won't open it. No. I'm sure it got thrown out at some point So you don't like a butt plug in I? Don't know if she likes a butt plug. Why are you looking at me? Why are you looking at me? Why are you looking at me? I have a jack's like I'm some prude. I'm like we've talked about our sex life.

I got to learn that I have a threesome with him one day the next day, he's like you're not sexy at all. Christine's getting tired. She's like Mr. Roper. Not Mrs. Roper, she's like Mr. Roper. She's just giving one line of straight to the camera. Oh, this big smile. I'm just, I just don't know what a butt plug does.

It just stays in there and it just plugs your butt. It plugs your butt. But what a four. Pressure. Yeah, I think it's the idea is like the same thing where you want like a weiner and your butt. It plugs your butt. But what a four. Pressure. Yeah, I think it's the idea is like the same thing where you want like a wiener and your butt and push the same time. Okay, so the pressure and the butt you get in the wild. Double stuffed. So it's getting double stuffed. That's why you like it. It's a lot like when you put it in it. It's a lot like being a human tofurkey.

You know what I mean? Not tofurkey. Turduckin. forget, uh, turduckin. Turduckin, not a turduckin. Yeah, it's a yeah. Turduckin. Turduckin. You're a human turduckin. Right. Now, is there any point that it could shoot out of you butt like a bullet? I'm sure.

I mean, not with velocity or hurt anybody probably, but it'd take a tooth out of a hitch and a mouth. Speaking of, by the way, didn't see this coming. Yeah. Yesterday, solve today, thank God. Water picking, when I got home from the airport, water picking my teeth. Yeah, love it. Vineier came right off.

Mm, what? The back one came right off. I was like, what the fuck? They went, I went and they put it back on today, but that was like, I was like, is this a thing? I should be worried about all the time and they were like, now it's pretty rare. Like, sorry.

When it came out, did you panic? No, I didn't. My panic for the second was going to be like, oh, shit, it's going to be super painful. But it wasn't. My tooth, my front tooth is like, halved. When I was in sixth grade, Eddie Ragazini, I was taking a shit and he kicked the bathroom door up and joking around. Hit me right in the front tooth and split it. And I've had like a fake front, half a front tooth. Christine's got two I've had like a fake front half of front tooth. Christine's got two of those. And it came off on stage one night.

Really? Yeah. I think I hit it, I get it with a microphone. I don't know how I hit my teeth with a microphone so many times a year. I really do. And every time it happens, I'm like, how is that possible? I don't know. What did I do? Did I need to get so close to the microphone? I give that microphone away a technique where you just tipped fuck yourself with the microphone. Just talk to it like that.

What about the Irish affair, awful technique where you hold his armpit? Oh yeah. He holds his armpit and then holds it up to his face. Yeah, he already holds the microphone like he's doing the thing where you make people think you're dancing with someone if you look from behind, your hands, like you're doing a thing where you make people think you're dancing with someone if you look from behind, your hands,

like you're being groped. I was using the mic in, where was it? I think it was Daniel Beach. And I flicked the mic up and a water from somebody else came in my eye. I'm a syrup on stage. Like I went like this and it flicked

and some type of water from one of the other. And you're assuming it was spit probably. I mean, unless microphones have water in them. You said that all your open is rawtistic, so I shoot them a lot and leave a lot of microphone moisture. Hahaha. Is this Gypsy Rose now in New York? This is the let's get dressed with me.

I was talking about that. Oh, let me see. She doesn't look that bad. I mean, considering. Yeah, it's not that bad. It's like half of the people at my shows that come up to me at the end. mean, considering. Yeah, it's not that bad. It looks like half of the people at my shows that come up to me at the end. Oh, listen, and Gypsy Rose done up could get it. It's not that bad, man. She's all right. Oh, I'm saying when she's all done up, she's fine,

but I'm telling you, that's a real peel down in the morning. You're going to be like, God, let's see it. That's here. That's what I assume I also am. This is her outfit at the day. I know, what time you like. I'm a morning god. Yeah, I know. Gypsy Rose, maybe, if I was super desperate, because she doesn't want to fuck you, idiot.

All right. All right, she could do better. I have to be fully dressed before she wakes up with the... Yeah. I just have to have everything on. Do you want me sleeping sleep in cowboy pajamas? Yes.

Let's check out her fit. Hey everyone, so this is my outfit of the day. Everything is Zara, my top, my shorts, my shoes. Yes, yeah, like too. Her mom, like, her mom munchows and Duran, forever having this tweety voice, it's awful. I mean, if you didn't tell me. Because she had to act like a,

well like a 15 year old or like a 14 year old when she was like 22 or something. If you didn't tell me that she was this person and I met her and she was like, let's, I mean, that's not that, she's not that bad. Hey, before I forget, I'm not gonna take a subject shift here because I'm sure no one has or not everybody has Lou I'm sure you have if you haven't everyone's homework done men Natalia Grace season two I did I watched all of it

Not all of it the last episode. I had a bill out of it. I mean everyone keep saying this the last episode They stopped before the last episode. They just got the last episode. I'm telling you I the last episode they stopped before the last episode. They just got to the last episode. I'm telling you, I agree with you. The season was, I started fast forwarding through her testimonials. I'm not far ready. I'm not far ready.

And he was fucking mental. He was hilarious. That was, that was a good part. I liked when he was interviewed with her and his whole dumb shit. We're talking about the curious case Natalia Grace, of course, season one about a girl. Is she a child?

Is she an evil midget? No one knew for sure. I can't watch. It seems pretty proof positive, is she a child, is she an evil midget? No one knew for sure. Oh, I can't watch it. It seems pretty proof positive that she was a child, for sure. But they have the DNA facts now. Yeah, the DNA fact, they say that they're like dental records. But they had the facts then too. The dental records, the guy was like,

I don't know why they ever made this thing, the dental records show like her big teeth coming in behind her baby teeth, which is what happens for a six, seven year old is like. But she was a teeth coming in behind her baby teeth, which is what happens for a six, seven-year-old is like. But she was a baby when they dumped her in that, then said, go make some ramen and you're on your own. She was nine. She was a nine-year-old child when they put her in an apartment. Put her in an apartment in a house by herself in a bad neighborhood, up a bunch of stairs, almost like to create a dog, almost in a way to say like, you're not going

to leave often because it'll take you 30 to 40 minutes. I mean, her hands can't reach her asshole. Like, I don't even know how she wiped her ass. Her hands were so... A lot of people were saying that was the problem. Shitty ass syndrome. She couldn't wipe her mud butt and she was always itchy.

That would make you upset. That would make you an angry midget too. But you would have to take a tub. So she can, but uh, but she would have to take a tub So see you can't take a shower she'd have to take a tub season you watch season one Jacob right or no you never did I purposely didn't watch it I don't know you watched all you watched a new one Everyone except for the very final ending. I don't know how it ends. I've watched the last one He thinks so it's so it's boring at times the season It's slow. It's only six episodes and yet still it's like sometimes it's boring at times the season.

It's only six episodes and yet still, it's like sometimes it's dragging when she's telling, first of all, she talks hilariously like wiggory, which makes me laugh. Because you know why? Yeah, because she's with a white lady and the black pastor that she, she assimilated.

She assimilated to her neighborhood. You're not wrong. So her mom talked the same way they go, I don't know why she'd be talking all like. It's like a lot of that shit and you're like, But she turns, the funny part is she turns white in the interview, when she's with the father. She turns into that little white kid or whatever,

but when she's, they're interviewing her by herself and her partner, she turns black. I know she'd be like, with a little weird fan. She's like, why would I, why I be holding a knife. I can't even be holding a knife like that. Yeah. I'm gonna get something she straight out of the comp. Yeah. I'm trying to kill her. Yeah. Let me tell you something. I want him to have his own show. I want to follow her her. Fost her, her, uh, false, adoptive, adoptive father, who is the gayest, not gay guy,

most dramatic human being I've ever, he's though that, that straight guy, who's gay, but not gay, which is one of the biggest mysteries in the world to me. Cause I know them, like Harrison, there's people that we know that I'm like, he's gay, but it's not gay.

Could they, what do you think it is? Like Harrison Greenbomb you're saying, yes. Whoa. I'll tell you what it is. I think some people, if they're in a world where they're not, they don't want to be that. I think you could maybe turn that switch off like kind of young. And I feel, does it make sense that I'm just like,

and just being with a girl, like a girlfriend or whatever is just kind of like in the background. They're not like you don't see guys guys like that aren't pussy hounds ever but they get women and they have wives or whatever but I'm saying like it's so it's I think I do believe you're saying I think he's straight I don't think he sneaks off and does stuff necessarily maybe but I don't think he's still does things are guys He's straight because he turned off the sexuality switching up But he kept all of the flamboyant. I've known guys like this my whole life. I have a friend of mine whose father is Italian And then in like the mob kind of you know what I mean? Mm-hmm and his this guy's son was like this, but he was not gay

Like but he was flamboyant. I mean you like dude you're gay nope If you put a cock at his mouth he'd start sucking it. It's like when you throw a baby in water But that would happen to everybody in this room except a black little No, not me dude when I was a baby if you put a dick in my mouth I'd have bit it been like you would have tried to Mottombo fingered him you want to try to swallow it That's salty good in here. Oh, that's salty. Oh, it's salt what's good. But please, everyone who hasn't. It's on Hulu, right?

What? I think the doc is doing it. No, no, it's max. It's max. Let me see if I can show you, try to get it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

I didn't watch the last episode. Six episodes, I'm telling you, mostly boring, led to the most high impact last minute and a half, two minutes of a show. A cliffhanger better than anything ever written by a Michael Mann, or it's so good. The writer of heat? The writer of heat. Is better than that.

The writer of heat, Miami Vice. is better than that the writer of heat Miami vice really Yeah, it's It's it's crazy. It I was falling asleep and it made me sit up. I'm like whoa everything You've come to trust in this story that you're like I know I know this is fucked up as it is up on its ass now We're watching that we watched like three episodes at Coltis House when I was out there. And I was so excited that it was on again, like another whatever the fuck season it is. But it and then when it got he was so.

That guy would come in and his dramatic shit is overwhelming. Oh, you can get him on. Do you think we could get him on? Probably. The autistic, yeah, I think so. The autistic kid's son was funny. That season one, they forget they're miked. Yeah, when they go up into the room.

And he's like, are we going to tell him that we throw it on the stairs for fun? That's like, we should not tell them about throwing it on the stairs for fun. He goes, but we used to love the throw it on the stairs for fun. He goes, but we shouldn't tell them that. on the stairs for fun. He goes, Bordy, shouldn't tell them that. And he goes, shit, we're miked. Don't worry, they won't pick that up. Yeah, yeah, they're not listening right now. So he's abusive.

They did a lot of bad stuff to her. Yeah, by the way, I want you to go through it, Lou, and have at it, because some of me, the good boy, who was this, it told me this. Maybe there's a window here or something. But you have to get a ton of drug there's so many drops that are the monster Christine oh I don't even want to say the name the monster

just of course Dean look we have bill the Jacobs did he say H.E. double toothpicks at one pocket sticks yeah I think so H.E. double hockey sticks she's, I think so. Okay. A.G. double hockey sticks. She's from A.G. When he heard his own hand punching the ground and that one of us, he goes, and she head on the ground and I'm just going to show you like this. Is this it? Yeah.

He just started, he was like, he's just showing a little more. He's the best. How about when he pulls up in his fucking meada? And the guy's always got a fucking face. The rearview mirror is a different color. These things. Dude, he is the worst guy. His mutton chops.

Is this it? This is it, yeah. You got like the moment? Is it really only a minute 24? They said we got a phone call. You have the thing on the screen versus the night. Are we watching the end right now? I'm just gonna show it to you.

Okay, great. It doesn't, the episode is boring again. It is, I, we watched I fell asleep on it and Jay was like, you have to finish it. It really is like the last minute. I mean, what is it? Yeah, a minute and 34 seconds of the episode. And you're like, get the fuck out.

Okay, let's watch it. Crazy. Yeah, okay. You got to read the episode, and you're like, get the fuck out. Okay, let's block it. Crazy. Yeah, okay. You gotta read when it says when it comes up. Sure. I love that they have her walk. Two weeks ago, and six months after Natalized adoption, so that happened.

The new family, the pastor, the black pastor, father, and I guess white mom, adopted her her they officially were able to adopt her so it's a there even though she's 19 I think 22 22 they adopted her okay so it says two weeks ago in six months after they adopted her the producer's got a shocking phone call The sorcerer's got a shocking phone call. It's the pastor. That's the white mom. We're done with her. Maybe she's evil.

It goes right back to maybe she's fucking crazy. We were all abused. We both had the fame monster. No, that, first of all, that dad, the pastor, dad, he's a fucking, he's out of his mind. The mom is a piece of shit. They're not. I think the pastor's gay. But they're also getting money from her. Remember that.

Of course. They're getting money. This is all a fucking scam. From the state, yeah. Whatever he's a pastor of his horse shit or you see their shirt they live out back the church they live out this is they're all fucking pieces of shit this poor girl has been kicked around literally but she whole life has then the worst luck in the world when there's smoke there's fire something here she's whack she she probably made wack I mean she started off in the Ukraine and was shipped here

uh you know to go to some weird places but every family that's ever had her accept the other midgets that wanted to keep her and I know the little midgets she was not supposed to be an American she was supposed to sleep in hay in the Ukraine in the corn. Yeah. You know what I mean? And have that old grandmother with a mole with hair on it. Oh, especially the way she looks at them. She's supposed to come in and tell you the future. Yeah, she's supposed to.

But she just comes in once in a while and tells you, she goes, Danger's coming. Yeah, like something happens in the town and they go get her. And they bring her on a pillow. And she just, her eyes go milky And she just, Hi.

Her eyes go milky and she falls her head back and tells you the future. And then like we need to plant the crops now. Yeah, there you go. Storms are coming. Storms are coming from the west. We must move. The livestock will never survive.

Yeah, she should have been, she should have stayed in the Ukraine. That's what she belonged to. She's a suceir. Yeah, she should have been, she should have stayed in the Ukraine. That's what she belonged to. She's a Suf seer. Yeah, she should be in a barn with a lantern and chicken feet and she'll like that. You know what I mean? She was not supposed to be Americanized.

She's supposed to be something that you tell people. The reason she looks so jarring is because she has crazy powers. Yes. She's never supposed to eat cereal. Yeah. You show her. Like, here's the ladder I used to get to my race car bed. And you're like, no, no, no.

You're supposed to be kept away from society in a bag. You should live in a bag. She was supposed to be helped into her loft by monkeys. The tie of grace should be living in someone's stomach like Quattro. Grandma's stomach. He goes where is she going? She's right here.

Yo, you got to turn that reactor, shit. She should be living in a woman that talks like SD. You want to Monday through Tuesday. Also when I watch a lot of these interrogation videos, guys, I will tell you a lot of things that tie-gray says, red flags. I'm not going every handicap person. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha St. Jude's crisis actors St. Jude's commercials you can shape my kids head for a million bucks I knew there was something off at that bench. There is something off But she's just been like she's disabled that you can't take that away from her and she's been abused her entire life So she might be a sister path. There's no way that this pastor and that woman didn't abuse her in some way too.

Because look, from somebody who's lived in foster homes, we've got eight kids there. They're fucking all, most of them, not all of them. Some of them were nice, but I lived in some shitty places with people that look like all of their the best, and they actually made me look like I was a fucking piece of shit. But they got money for you. That's what it is. They got money for me and they had their other. I had one of their little kids, little red-headed

fuck, would come up and hit me in the face and then start to cry. And the father would come in and be like, what'd you do to my kid? I'd be like, this little fuck just slapped me. And then he cried. And then they wouldn't believe me at all I mean I had to I actually went home I called my mom at one point I was like I gotta come home I gotta come home the process to get a dog in our house was so tedious and difficult and hard how does it still happen these people get foster kids they're collecting like 10 checks and they have the kids sleeping like under the

sinks and shit I'm telling you and closets. I used to have. We only could drink water and cool aid. Cool aid once a day with dinner, one cup and you got one portion of every meal and it was bullshit. Hot dogs and beans, like three nights a week, a lot of ham. I think ham was good. They all beef hot dogs. No, they were shit hot dogs. They were boiled. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, what a crime. I remember they were like, we're taking you out to dinner.

We went to a church, and I was like, thank God, no more hot dogs. It was a fucking hot dog and bean. A big hot dog boil. I was like, fuck. Yeah, it was fucking terrible, man. That's the old, we're not having hot mush today. Yeah, we're having cold mush.

Well, we have, um, we have some stuff to talk about. Jacob, why don't you go here, came back from here, we stick a break though, yeah? We're gonna take a break after. Jacob, I, I, I, I felt so bad for this guy today, man. I mean, the love of the game, he's here for the love of the game this kid. I love you. We're gonna hear the whole story when we come back. But once again, I do want to say that we do finally, after almost nine years, have a YouTube page. Nice. It's not a Russian.

I don't know how you distinguish. Well, because we can tell him what's up there. What's up there is the... Yeah, we have our first. We have the Christmas holiday show, the Skankfest show, and then segments from those shows. Yeah.

And then a lot of... Lounge Life is up there. A lone Phil Festivals. Lounge Life is up there that we did for a live show at the Village Underground, the Odd Thrupple Trailer, being Jacob Batat. I mean, there's so much stuff up there right now. We finally have a YouTube channel. So go, it's Bond Fire, SXM. So you go it's bonfire SXM

So you know you know it's the right one so go up there subscribe No, it's at the bonfire radio like I said it's at the bonfire radio, but it says But it's at the bonfire radio and you can go up there subscribe like and make sure you get in those comments We're gonna be putting stuff up there man. We're gonna we're gonna step right again Don't read the comments. Jacob. Is it bad? I mean, I I had to pull one in the center to do you don't tell us yet Yeah, but he's not gonna say it we get that for next year when we do the live show Is that how you say that word?

Oh, don't read the comments on that. I know. I really, I was a very big, uh, what does it have to do with that? What did I just say? You show Bobby. Oh my gosh. Me and Christine, I said that, uh, I argued before the summertime that, um, synchronized swimming. Jacob says it takes a lot of talent and effort.

And I go, me and Christine will be as good as any synchronized swimmer. I love this. And you, you really are. Oh, this gets better. This was those epic Jane Christine too, wasn't it? No, not yet. No, look fantastic. It was a lot to be in a bathing suit on camera.

How can this couple not go the distance? I would love to see the neighbors going, what are those people doing? I think James is going to die out of this relationship. I'm just going to be fucked when he does. Next week, Savo kind of making an appearance. We didn't care. People.

Is that Savo? Yeah. We really went for it. when do they show us underwater that's when it gets crazy who's foot is that who's maybe here we go it's definitely well I'm a throw without that now that was good because Jacob said the big differences in the all their feet are always kicking they don't touch the ground. Creak. Creak. Christine's got a foot, huh? Christine wrote me. I mean, she wrote me like a surfboard. I mean, I'm a size 9, it's not that crazy.

For what? Size 9 and men? In women's. Oh, and then the big finale, Bobby, you'll notice now. She gets all my shoulders. Ooh. And we. Can we? Can we?

That's tolling flattering. And we, uh. Yeah. Yeah. She's just snatched an egg. She lands on the back here. I don't know if you saw that jump, but she got about a fucking inch and a half vertical

on that thing. Look how happy she is. She's so proud of herself. He's always very proud how happy she is she's so proud of herself. She's always very proud of herself. That was great. Well anyway, that's up there. There's a lot of other stuff on there and we're gonna be putting more content with our brand new cameras. Yes. With our content creators. Yeah. Very man a little several different several other celebrities have no idea they're on the air with us Jacob's drumming make sure go to big J's got a bunch of dates coming up here He's all over this week in Salt Lake City big big thing here. I was only doing Friday Saturday

Now they have added a Thursday show by the band. How does that feel? Shows were selling out. So yeah, they had a Thursday. How does it feel? It's not feels good. Come on. Well, it'll feel good if I sell tickets for that Thursday show. Come on. Do they add it a show? I know, but that's why I always figure. I'm always figuring when they when they want to do that when I was selling out shows, in my mind, I always go, what about this town if I just have four sold out shows and 16 more people worth of fans there, then that one show's gonna really suck shit.

I've had the cancel the added show. Yeah. And it sucks. Well, dude, I think you're kicking it right now, so don't even think like that. You're gonna sell that show out too. You'll have five sold out shows. And you're also gonna be doing your crowd work special

at Comedy Works in Denver, January 19th through the 21st. For tickets and all of the dates, please go to bigjcomedy.com. And I'll see you. Robert Kelly, at the comedy work, Saratoga Springs, January 12th and 13th, I love that area up there so much.

I do too. I can't remember the name of this place for you to go, druthers. Go eat there. Yeah, it's great. It's a, was a gastropub kind of thing like that. It's called, but it's just the food there is. They got a lot of good food up there.

A lot of good food up there. Uh, after Sarah Toga Springs, he's going to be in Wisconsin, Chicago, and Providence, Rhode Island for tickets and all tour dates. Do yourself a favor, treat yourself, get some tickets at robbercowellive.com. Check out all of this dates. He's the best. We'll be right back. It's the Bond.

Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be right back. It's the bomb. Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my doctor parents and shit. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slash bomb fire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcommy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates. Coming to a city near you. author.

That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates, coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo