The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Association

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

It's The Association vs The Townies as Bobby gets humiliated in front of his son. Bob is confronted by a man who didn't think he belonged in his wilderness community. Christine and Jay clam that Pearl Jam's ticket sales are low and DJ Lou gets pissed. The gang relives the last show when trans porn stars took over the Bonfire. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big J. O'Croson and Robert Kelly Why Bobby I think he's asking why the Celtics are the champions they are their last year's season's champions Yeah, why we over so we start you just threw a bunch of money into a guy who's balding at 24 Yeah, Derek White's his name. I know who it is. You didn't know I do know who it is. He's white. Nope. He's black Yes, I know he it is. You didn't know. I do know who it is. He's white. Nope. He's black. Yes. I know who you're talking about. He had the funniest hairline in all basketball. He got bullied by fans in the shaving his head this year. It's pretty funny when that happens.

Bring up a Derek White hairline picture. The Celtics are in fact the reigning NBA champions. Reigning. For this year. That said, the Sixers made some pretty, oh boy. Look at that hairline. Wow. The Sixers made some pretty, pretty great moves over the night last night.

I don't think it's gonna mean anything to you, Bobby. It's pretty amazing that a hairline can go back straight. It's nuts. It just goes back. Yeah, they made, he got made so much fun of, because his headband would be like in the middle of his scalp. And then they made fun until he shaved his head. He's got a big old egg head, but I guess it's better than the hair.

But doesn't LeBron have a wig? No, he got a hair transplant, I think. Did he? I thought he had a wig that came off during a game. Am I crazy? No, no, no. Wasn't there a video of that where his hair came off? It's probably some fake shit. No.

I thought it was. What is this? Why is Jackie Chan, oh, Jackie Chan, Jesus Christ. That was so racist, dude. I'm sorry. Ronnie Chang, dude. Ronnie Chang, I apologize. Jeez, Louise.

No, that's his uncle. So sweet. He's his uncle. So sweet. He's the best. Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan's awesome too. He's his uncle. Now that, I'm willing to believe. I'm willing to believe that.

Sixers, these names don't mean anything to you Bobby, I think, but Sixers made a huge move last night. Listen man, I don't need you to cuck me out on sports today. You're feeling very cucked. I'm very vulnerable today with my manhood and I understand. Somebody's phone is going off. Christine Marie Evans.

Christine Marie Evans. Let's all put our phones on something so it doesn't vibrate the table. I do, I put mine over here like that. We could all do it, now you do. I did, I usually do. I'm pretty sure that's still gonna vibrate. No, I shut my vibrate off. Oh really, you just see it. I can see it. Gotcha. Yeah, not bad. Yeah, I know never losing it never has phone up

He's a sound guy, you know lives he lives in the show is what it is. It's not as like we invested It's not as less work, but he does invest in the show who I described you I want to hear your story Bob you I just wanna say I described you this weekend to somebody who said they were a fan of the show as like, it's pretty interesting, and this is a cool way to describe it, and it's true, you're scoring the whole show as it goes. Like it's a movie, in real time. It's pretty impressive, dude.

Kudos to you. Thank you. You guys, the crew was getting a lot of love this weekend. I mean, they're amazing. Yeah, no, absolutely, but that is, it's so interesting. I'm like, man, you gotta listen for words. When you start bringing up clips half the time, I'm like, what, oh, that makes perfect sense.

So that's enough sucking his dick. He's so good, I don't know that it's not Jacob or Christine laughing at some points. Oh, with the, yes. I actually get happy and then I look over and it's just Jacob's face. And he's not laughing. Yeah, he's just like, oh, all right.

He's not laughing face. I was like, oh, that was a good one. Oh, no, that was a good one. Oh, at least Jacob lightened up. Oh, Christ. Oh, Christ. It is my life's work. You could have more than one work in your life.

No, you have one life's work and the other thing you like. Wait till you hear the new stuff. Oh, yeah? Oh, my God. I heard a... By the way, Lou, what's going on? I think this is across the board. I think this is for touring in general.

I heard J.Lo, she gave some fake reason why she canceled her tour, but it was actually for no ticket sales. I think that's happening. I heard Pearl Jam's having a hard time with tickets. Eddie got sick. No, no, no, not that. I think they're just moving tickets,

like selling out venues in Europe They there was a festival where they weren't sold out most all of it sold out He sounds like every club owner when I play there and I don't sell out. No, dude. There was a festival in town Do there was a barbecue? Festival in town. That's why everybody's over there today Oh, man, you know, where was I this one of these weeks on fully loaded? I met somebody who was like you came to my club in Raleigh, like you did my Raleigh club.

I was like, of course, like, I was like, sucks, like the one weekend you come in, it's Beer Fest is happening. I'm like, there's beer at your place. Stop telling me they chose to drink beer and not listen to me. Dude, they had a Fah Festival in town this week. Oh really, in Raleigh.

I believe Lou knows the actual, he'll know that Pearl Jam is selling tickets. Would you be able to tell your favorite band's ticket sales? I couldn't. No, I don't think Lou knows either necessarily. I can't tell the ticket sales completely. The US tour is completely sold out. I can't get tickets to Fenway and MSG.

So that is a bunch of horse shit. Well I'm telling you the way they sell things out and I think that's what they're trying to bring up the things for. Jacob's evil laugh. I'm saying I knew he actually knew the ticket sales. No I think the problem is now these companies do or does Pro Jam work with them or no?

Yeah they work with Live Nation everybody. So I'm saying all these things pull their, they pull tickets, like right away. Like half 50% of the tickets go to their aftermarket sales. So that's what I'm saying, I don't think attendance-wise these things are selling out. On paper, maybe, but I'm saying like, I don't think J.Lo is even selling out on paper.

She was done, like she had to cancel her tour, I think. Yeah, but I mean comparing J JLo to Pearl Jam is nuts. Why? Who the fuck wants to see JLo? A bazillion people. Who? JLo's probably overall more famous than Pearl Jam. I mean, it's hard.

Music's pretty hard. Crazy. Her music doesn't have the following. No, no, her music does not have the loyal following, for sure. No, of course not, no. Jenny from the block is moving tickets. Even Ben doesn't want to see Jenny anymore.

I heard Imagine Dragons canceled their tour, that band. Well, people are also overpricing, I think is causing a lot of the problems. They're all overpriced. Yeah, Black Keys, I think, canceled. Yeah. Yes. Nobody can afford the tickets.

Yeah, it's crazy. Well, here's the thing someone was saying to me, too, that it's the Taylor Swift effect. Everyone's like, well, I mean, she's car charging as much for tickets and it's like yeah, she's charging that much for tickets Yeah, you know, I mean like no one's Crying outside cuz they're gonna see imagine dragons But isn't Pearl Jam the one that they were the ones that like we're not doing this anymore because they overpriced our tickets Yeah, they had to just eat the shit eventually and just deal with it

Right cuz they try to do it themselves and there were so many problems, so they just had to eat shit. Because Louis did that with his thing. He bought a ticket company and just, every seat was 40 bucks. Every single seat was 40 bucks. I'm on the fence about this,

but I feel like in the past, see, nobody buys albums anymore and that's how bands made their money too. And so they're not paying for the art. So the ticket prices had to go up because now that's where they make all their money. They don't make album sales anymore. No, it's touring for sure. So it's a show that happened, Lou. Is that what they're saying?

Eddie Got Sick is what I know that's what that's what the official says Projean were selling tickets So we're selling tickets for just ten pounds amid poor sales before sudden cancellation So he probably wasn't sick. I think they weren't gonna do it not so that's from the Sun They have naked tits on the cover. So it's not sure what some periodical Well, New York Post also there's no tits in this New York Post is saying it's illness, but The Sun... The Sun has naked knockers. So? Yeah, but I mean it's a ticket sales thing. They weren't spreading like a... it's not a wild rumor.

That's not a ticket sales thing. I'm gonna post a Sun article. Also, it's resales. Who is it? Who is it? Someone said that you can go watch videos. Someone said you can watch videos of somebody per fuck... who was it? Like shows that were selling like 5,000 tickets and like 20,000 seat arenas. I don't know. Oh yeah, empty arena shows.

Who is it? Look up empty arena shows and I think we'll see the name. I'll remember when they show me. But that sounds, it was like a band where you're like, yikes dude. That's terrible. No one cares anymore. If you go to T-

Oh maybe that was, it might have been J-Lo. I think look at J-Lo, I think that's what it is. Look at J-Lo concert. Like empty seats J-Lo concert. That's gonna JLo, I think that's what it is. Look at JLo concert. Like empty seats JLo concert. That's gonna be pretty, I think that's who it is. But let me, they get the ticket, there's a ticket price on the ticket, face value, and then the ticket companies get them

and then jack it up, correct? Hundreds of dollars. Hundreds of dollars. So it's the ticketing companies fucking fault, right? 100%. It's a horrible, horrible horrible horrible system ticketing Yeah, it's gross when I go on like SeatGeek to buy tickets. I'm already paying severely over face value. Yeah, look at that That's fucking crazy. That's JLo. That's that seems like 11 years ago

It's other than it's not it. I'm talking about this tour. Yeah, that seems right to me That seems right amount of people that should go see JLo She's hugely famous though. Yeah, in movies. No, I know, but a lot of people would just go see a famous person. I don't know, dude. I don't know, you go see a,

you'll go see a comic once, and then if they're not good, you won't go back. There's only one band, like an actor's band, who really had major success, would be Jared Leto. Yeah, and that one song. They have, but if you're a fan, they have a bunch of songs. There's people who love. I like Jared.

But J.Lo, you're not going for the songs. 30 seconds to mark. You're going for the spectacle. He's gonna put on a whole routine. Oh, God. It's a short clip. That is, that's. Oh my Lord.

I mean, still a lot of people. What? I mean, not for that arena. What the Christ are you talking about? If that was at the cellar at the Village Underground, that'd be wild. Oh, my. She's not.

Ticket precious slashed from $7,000 to under $10. That's why I always like Chris Rock's approach. He would only play, like, three to 5,000-seat theaters even at his peak. He's gonna never lose that. He never did the arena thing, because you're gonna lose that at some point. Everybody's gonna lose that at one point. I remember me and that. He never did the arena thing, because you're gonna lose that at some point.

Everybody's gonna lose that at one point. I remember me and Louie went to see a boxing match at the Garden and he was just looking around and I'm like, what's up? He's like, dude, I sold this place out six times. And it's like, you know, that's. It goes away. It goes away, it always goes away.

You just gotta know, I mean. Oh, is the Swiss Watch Expo in town?, I mean. Oh, is the Swish Watch expo in town? Let's go. Swiss Watch? Swiss, Swiss. Swiss Watch. I sent Bobby a Rolex that I liked this weekend. Good Rolex.

I was like, is this one good? And I looked at the price and I was like, nevermind. What is it, $34,000? 34 grand. It's a lot of money, dude. It's too, too, too, too much money. I know the watch you should get. It's 15,000.

A Rolex? Yep. What's it called? It's called the, I think it's the Deep Sea. I'm telling you, it's the one that they made for the Titanic. It can go literally down to the Titanic. It might be a little thick though.

Yeah, he's looking at it, look at the size of it. Oh, it's the same thing as the Nelly. Whoa, whoa! This is the one I saw. Damn. That was the same thing as the Nelly co- Whoa, whoa! This is the one I saw. Damn. What was that? That empty Nelly. Go to the front of it again.

Stadium show. Wow. That's fucked up. I could sell that many tickets. You could, Jacob, absolutely you could. That sucks. Simple Jake and the boys could sell that out. So listen, Eddie Vedder was right to fucking faking illness because

That's in bats humiliating fake shit. He sold out Fenway Park. I can't get tickets. So suck it everyone you can take you back Sold out. I can't really want to bet want to bet I can't get a spring right now to buy tickets to family You get me MSG that I've been begging for for my 50th birthday? But I'm saying, you're saying you couldn't buy either. Of course you can. I'd find tickets right now. You can't get tickets right now. Not for his price. Right this moment. Yeah, for $13,000 you can get tickets.

No, he just said it's sold out, you can't get tickets. Everybody, can you just lay off my second happiness in life? Your first. Just say it's your first. Quite honestly, if you're getting upset about this, you sound like a retard. No one's disparaging your band. You're just bothering me. I'm saying goodbye to you. Who do you like?

My band is better. Okay. I like Led Zeppelin. You're making me my scream. I love what's happening. You should cut it off when the scream cuts off too. Oh, do people even know what that's from? That is from last week's show. Again, we apologize.

No, people don't know what fully was from it. By the way, Lou, I'm looking at tickets all over MSG. Well, that was that was on during break, right? No, that was at the end of the show. Yes. When we came back from last week's show. Again, we apologize. We apologize for last week's show.

Oh my Christ. What night do you want to go, Lou? MSG, September 5th. September 5th. Do you want to go to Missoula for 108? That's so funny. There's third and fourth. The bass player's from there.

It's going to be a great show, yes. There's third and fourth, Lou. Is there a fifth one? Because this is saying three and fourth. The bass player's from there, it's gonna be a great show, yes. There's third and fourth, Lou. Is there a fifth one? Cause this is saying three and four. ["The New Laws of the New World"] Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, aaaaaaaaa, aaaaa, aaaaa, aaaaa, aaaaa, aaaaa, a a a a a a a a a a a a a Ah! You beat the new laws You saved us the whole world

Wow. That is from Jay. That was, no, nobody heard that. Well, last week's show, when we took a break and when Jay came back into the studio, we were all sitting here like we just got into a 12-round fight, and nobody was, and Jay came in and screamed at the top of his lungs Video will be out very shortly

And that was him getting out his I don't know what it is Lou before you yell age Before you yell me Lou. I'm sorry. It's gonna say I have it up Fenway Park 7,000 tickets that are under 300 bucks a ticket Alright, I'm gonna go my band sucks continue. No park 7,000 tickets that are under 300 bucks a ticket. Great, all right, I'm gonna go. My band sucks, continue. No, it's just not sold out. Why are you mad at me? I just sorted out your problem.

I'll tell you what, your point is that Pearl Jam's over and it's never over until I say it is. I said tickets are having a hard time moving. But I think it's across the board with shit right now. And this is working out that they're not doing as well. You'll be able to go to Fenway. You're right, everything's fine. I'm hungry, I'm dirty, I'm losing my mind.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm bleeding to death. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm bleeding to death And I'm Wow!

I'm So great. Yeah, I'm working It was such a full, real, like just emotional, had to get out scream. It was nothing fake about it. There was so much. It was from the heavens. That was.

Yeah, that was deep inside you. That was a lot of other things. That was other arguments you've had with Christine, things that are from the past, from your childhood, and it all came out on that one screen. It wasn't. There was so much in that screen, but it was all that segment of the show. The green dress.

Me, Isabella. She was having a second. The green one was having a talk like she was at brunch with her friends. We had the green one, we had the white one, and we had the farm one. The green one, the white one, and this one. And that dude. Oh and Addis. And hot ass Addis. None of them would let Jay talk. It's nobody nobody would let me talk I mean this video is it out now. No is it no we got a new one out too. Oh, we're gonna We actually we actually kept score But this is before Paco He really have one more thing we're doing. Yeah, I'm sorry. He just sent it to me the new one. Yeah, damn

He's fast. He's fast That show yeah Paco made a little compilation. Oh you want to start from the beginning and play it This is me trying to talk to help these ladies Pitch their fucking show pitch their fucking show. If me and you were fucking. Shut your fucking mouth and watch it before I. Mia, if me and you. If a little dick motherfucker will tell me

what's going on here. Addis, I wanted you to tell us how the show kinda came about. Yes. First of all, the tennis outfit working. It's giving Tashi Duncan. It's giving calendars. Mia, you're gonna sell no tickets for this show

if you never let her tell her what's going on. Oh well, I'll be there. To give people the one to serve you and treat you kindly. You're gonna sell no tickets for this show To give people to want to serve you and treat two. But I'm friends with a... I'm a negative two, so I don't feel... Because when you work in the business, I assume people are open to asking you about your kinks. There's no way we could have three conversations going at once. It's insane. We can't have three conversations going at once. The audience is banging their head on the steering wheel. I feel like I just got in a fight.

As we lost, as a show, we lost. I don't even feel good. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah a fight. Yes, yes, we lost. As a show, we lost. I don't even feel good. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, would have left today. Christine stepped right on Bobby's joke. I have a quiet power. You stepped right on Bobby's joke. It's all right. Clothes is out great. It did close out great. Clothes is out great.

It really was a good little, they call it a button in the business. It's a button. It was a button at the end and it was a good button and Christine didn't want to see it. She didn't want to hear the button. No. That was nightmarish. Yeah. That cli... I don't... That was nightmarish.

Yeah. That cli- I don't- that was crazy. Poor Addis. She tried her best. She wanted to push that show. And, and- Is that the little one? The girl.

The girl. God's girl. God's- the OG girl. Yeah, the OG girl. The OG girl. The girl. God's girl. God's, the OG girl. Yeah, the OG girl. The OG girl. Yeah, girl in the biblical sense. She didn't want to, no, she didn't care. She was yappy too.

She was. She was yappy, Mia was yappy. The one over there. No, Mia was leading the charge. What was the one next to you? Lucy. Lucy. J, something. Lucy, her name. Lucy. Fuck it. Lucy.

J something. Lucy. Her name's Lucy. J Hunt. Lucy. Lucy Hunt. Very quiet. Yes.

The one in the middle, the one with Jacob was the White Witch. What was the White Witch? Athena. Athena. The White Witch. She was Athena, kind of got into it, but she was quiet too. Mia and the God's Girl. Oh my Lord. Yapping. I, but she was quiet too. Mia and the god's girl, yapping. Mia was a tornado. She strolled in late and it just went crazy from there.

Can you take this fucking Pearl Jam doesn't sell tickets before Lou breaks the fucking screen? Stop researching it. She's nice, she just didn't take the thing off. It's a mean-spirited show. Right? Mean-spirited show. It wasn ha ha. It wasn't last week. Notice I didn't laugh at a single thing they said about Pearl Jam.

Thank you. I didn't say anything funny about Pearl Jam. There's nothing funny said. Who spends their days, you know, digging other people apart? We do. Well, us. Yeah, we've got to be funny. You know, there's enough negativity in the world

Yeah, but I mean, you know, I was in really negative. We're spreading positive laughter With one sacrificial lamb Corey Feldman Because he's on that show and they constantly invoke my name. So of course I've heard about Corey Feldman Corey Feldman, Corey Feldman. He's the comeback, comeback king. He's the comeback, comeback king.

He's the comeback, comeback king. He's the comeback king. What if he just appeared? That's how you got him here. Fell dog, fell dog, fell dog. Three times. Well, that was a really, really rough show. I mean, oh, oh we did already.

We looked at their pornography, I believe. I don't wanna ever see. We looked at all their penises. Huh? Yeah. We looked at their penises. We looked at their penises and it was, it didn't even, I mean, it to ever see. We looked at all their penises. Huh? Yeah. We looked at their penises. We looked at their penises and it was, it didn't even, I mean, it was so weird. I turned into a little fanboy.

I just, and she was holding my hand. Oh. I didn't, she was holding, she held me at one point. Christ almighty. And I didn't know how to pull away. Oh. Like, I didn't, like she was holding my hand as. Like this, here's how you pull away, ready?

Watch, I'll do it Yeah Watch watch my hand and listen to me. Yeah and listen to the tone of this is quiet. It's kind of off microphone She held me and I was fanning her because she was sweating because I guess I don't know she yeah You're keeping your hands occupied. She didn't jerk her off No, she's you were sipping hard. I was sipping Betty simple Bob and simple Jake simple Bob and simple Jay Yeah, I simp for Christina. We're not on the air on the air I just treated like dog shit so people know what's up

Is that uh because on the air people gotta think I'm not a simp no I mean no I mean bitch That you know I stay simple. No? You work on my radio show. Now I know why she was so hot. She has to carry around that fucking tube all day. She's got a ham. She's got a ham between her legs. It's hard to walk around the city with that thing.

Me has got a monster cock. Do we have any video of her putting it in someone? Oh, God. Might as well see what's up. I don't want to see this. We've already heard her talk. I don't want to see this. I don't want to see this.

I don't want to see this. I don't want to see this. I don't want to see this. I don't want to see this. I don't want to see this. I have any video of her putting it in someone? Oh God. Yeah. I don't know. Might as well see what's up. I don't wanna see this. Well, we've already heard her talk. I'd rather hear her talk again.

What she keeps going. First of all, what drove me nuts, what made me wanna break this keyboard in front of me with a hammer fist was when Lucy next to me, very briefly goes like, yeah, you gotta get Botox in your ass because it loosens up, especially if you, she asked me if I bottom ever, which was hilarious.

I like that, I'm like, no, I never have. She goes, it loosens up the Botox, it relaxes your asshole so you can get it. And then I went, I was like, whoa, I go, whoa, whoa. She moved past that, she goes, Botox the asshole and something, I'm bleaching the asshole, she moved on. And I was like, Christine, pause it please, I'm speaking.

So. God damn it. Is that her or is that a guy? Turn the thing to something else right now so I can finish this. As I went to Lucy, I went, I was like, oh, whoa. Whoa. I was gonna say back up So we could do it and I started saying whoa. Whoa me over me. She goes whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa slow down Tell me about this Botox thing. Are you hosting this motherfucker? Yeah, you know boy decided hosting. Bobby was fanning her, didn't even think about talking.

Well, she was next to me. You were busy cabana-boying this fucking hee-shee. I had no choice. I had no choice, she was holding me. I was over it by myself. She handed me a fan. I'm swimming, man, I'm doing everything I can out there. And then the part that I felt shitty about

is that there was one point where she didn't ask me to fan her, and I took the fan out, and I started fanning her. She broke you. She broke me, dude. Like a stallion, she broke me. Bobby's like, well, I'm looking at Jay. Clearly, we're not allowed to talk. I'll just fan.

It's the Bonfire, everybody, and you're listening to the podcast version which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts? Right? It's like being half jacked off. Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com

slash bonfire to subscribe for the full show plus you get all the music channels you get Howard Stern You get all the other comedy channels sports and to get our full show Sign up for a serious XM subscription at serious XM com slash bonfire support our show subscribe Whose to see is that? Botox is that a guy? Yeah. Oh what please all day long? Oh, but whole Botox. Is that a guy? Yeah. Oh, what? Please, all day long. Oh, butthole Botox. Butthole Botox, yeah. Oh, I thought I was going to make my ass look

like that, nice and round. I'll get whatever to make my fat ass like that. That's a BBL he said you were going to get. I still say. Fans, if you guys crowdfund it, if you guys want to get me a cartoonishly fat ass, get it for me. I'll rock it. It's so funny.

They've become kind of so common now. They're like boob jobs. You see girls that are just like fat up top, but then their waists are small and their butts are fat. Hell yeah, though. That's what I'm going for. Gross. They still have like linebacker upper body.

Dude, I'm gonna have such a fat ass. It's gonna be great. I'm not kidding. BPL. What? You don't tell me how to live. It's whole-tox. Huh?

It's called whole-tox. I'm not kidding. Fucking hell. I'm not kidding. It's gonna be great What you don't tell me how to live it's whole talks, huh I'm not getting fucking You want to get a nice deep one in your second she said second shrink your second asshole I didn't know you had two assholes You don't we all just agreed because nobody wanted to hear it anymore She's you know you have two assholes right ago. I have common knowledge of course

She says do you know what you could always taste a little bit of turd in a gay guy's dick hole I did know yeah This is me as well laying down the biz all right get it can we get some missionaries so I can see the size of this monster? Oh, God. From up top maybe, Pugh? She's got double tits. I don't like her double tits. What do you mean?

She's got tits and then tits on top of tits. Which one? Mia, she's got double tits. Go back down to the... Oh, she has... her tits have tits? Yeah, watch. When you see her from that angle, she's tied up tits go back down to the Yes, her tits have tits. Yeah watch when you see it from that. Oh, she's tied up Go back that's not me. That's me me. I know go back go back to the up angle at the beginning. Oh, I can't even Look at double tits look. Oh, yeah, she does. She's got double tits. She's got her original boy tits Oh, that's her boy chest on top of her tits.

Yeah, it's fake tits, and then her boy tits are on top of those tits. Oh God. They look like she put footballs on those. By the way, that's what she used to look like when I first met her facially too. Yeah, she was a little heavier back then, which suited her well.

Now she was very thin, very thin. Wow, that's a, I can't even look at it. It's a huge dick. It's just a monster cock. Does she shoot big loads, Christine, if you wouldn't mind taking it to the end. Oh boy. Christine, get to the load part. She's not shooting ropes, dude. They're not giving her that. It's coming out like a stroke. Type in me, Isabella. Load? No. It's coming out like Keith eating soup.

You think so? Yeah, it's not. Just fucking, just a little. Just drips out, just no way. Just like snot bubbles. You think so? Yeah, it's not just fucking Drips out just like not bubbles. I don't want to see it. It's a bubble come by here Oh, you know it took everything I had to forget last week We were so excited. They were coming in we thought it was gonna be like when we had Emma Emma was sweet She was nice. She had to do radio No, and they these two girls let me tell. You can't get three trans in a room. No. No, because it turns into one big dude.

They Voltron the one big guy girl. They really suck the alpha out of this room, man. They bullied us. Yep. They came in here and as they know they have the power of now. It's uncomfortable, so they bullied us. Yep.

At least you tried to talk. I just sat here like a pussy. You fanned. I fanned. But the green one had no concept of radio. Mia Zabelo. Yes, she did. I like the green one.

I'm going by the dress. It was a dream. Call it the green one. Mia had a... She must have done radio before. Yeah. She's done an SDR show several times. Which is why I'm saying... Yeah, she just decided, I'm taking command.

But do you think that it was because it was all of them in here? You know what I mean? When you get one comic in a room, maybe it's a little, they're a little more reserved. When you get, when it's all of you in a room, then you kind of take over? You gotta have some general, they've all done radio before, to break into separate conversations. It was insane.

Especially when the host is going, stop. Hey guys, let's not do this. I never saw you happier though, Jacob. You were behind Jay smiling the whole time. Well, I was smiling once. Jay was mad at me last week. He was happy I was getting the bills. The thought of you broken shut up you both got were

broken yeah it came at a good moment simple Jacob said you so much I mean Bobby was over Bobby particularly you were so worried upset about simple Jake Bobby was fanning a girl guy yes for five minutes straight right he switched hands and he gets our enemy switched and change another hand i've never seen some of the other shut jay up like me it was she you know the first she shut you down when you guys watch this clip my face is so because by the third rostro looking at threats

uh... which is a go where was it I have a question. Executive producer Jacob, horrified. Private citizen Jacob, dying in love. Work of art. Loving every moment of it. Work of art. I was looking at Jay like, please Jay, do something.

Bobby looked at me, and I was like, we have to go to commercial, good luck with your gay show. Bobby's face was vacant. He was this, like this, he just had dead eyes. Good luck with your gay show. Bobby's face was vacant. He was this, like this. He just had dead eyes. Good luck with your big gay show. I told you, I only have first gear. I only have first and sixth gear. I don't have the second gear, third gear,

to go, hey, I don't want to do this. They said they were. I asked the question, I was like, is it one girl coming out at a time on the show to do the show? Speaking to go, no, it's like a round table thing. I'm like, how's that gonna be?

He goes, hey, you wanna go? I was like, yeah, five man acoustic jam, and everyone's just going at the same time. I was thinking of funny stuff to say, but I was in my, I don't even know if I said it. When they said that in my brain, I was like, you better put Mia last so you can get a word in. I don't know if I said it when they said that in my brain I was like you better put Mia last so you can get a word in I don't know if I thought that joke and She bitched me out of it or I actually said it on the air because I was think I think you thought it

I was thinking she cheesed you out of it much like your other situation You're gonna explain to us where you got cucked that you that's the same situation you came out your that was your shadow box later You went home and you were like, should have said to Mia, well you better go last or no one's gonna get a fucking word in Edgewise. Oh, I would have said that, it would have been so good in the room. There was a lot of good ones.

You had a couple good ones that just got steamed. There was one you said, that was a joke, I was just being funny. Yeah. 40 minute wall of noise. God damn it. Oh, let's see her load though. I am curious to see her load.

Oh, God. Let's see. She's right there. This is, this is prime though. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She looks way different there. Come on, get there.

You gonna come with me? No. That's not her, is it? Yes. I said she's done a lot of work. Oh my God, it takes a lot. I mean, come on, Ray. I thought I was queued up. I mean, Christine, how much of work. Oh my god, it takes a lot. I mean come on Ray. I thought he was queued up.

I mean Christine, how much of this do you need to see? This is awful. We're watching her just, it looks like she's jerking off an ass handle. It's the biggest Dick Christine scene in a decade. You must get exhausted. Lugging that around. Let's see. Oh here we go.

Is she going to hit herself in the boobs? Yep. Stroke. Blah, blah. Yeah. Let's see. Oh here. We go. Is she gonna hit herself in the boobs stroke Blank where it comes out sad sad load. Well. It's gonna travel five Jk. You have to look away. It's a fucking teardrop of jizz. It's terrible fucking pussy. It's nothing no, but nice fucking meat though Huh, it's like a pyramid a lot of the bases and then it triangles. It's like a triangle. But the top is big too. Still big. She described herself... She described herself as having big dick energy and that really is what it was.

Oh, she walked it around. She came in and she dominated the room. She knows her dick is bigger than all of ours, for sure. She didn't know about Black Lou, so she gave him a pass. She was cool with Black Lou. We should have had Black Lou come over and talk to her and be like, hey bitch, that's what she needs. She needs a black man to come in and be like,

hey bitch, shut up. Everyone's gotta talk. Into the microphone and listen, you fucking idiot. You just wanna lay it down on the table for her. Gotta straighten her shit out. I just wish I said something. I wish I just said, hey, you need to, I wish I was like, you're talking over everybody. No, what you said was, I'm really good at

fanning. You said that and then you flipped it open a bunch of times and then you said, here, give me, oh, I remember what it was though. No, you were actually doing a solid for the show. Let me take that back, that you were full on simp. It became simpy, But in the beginning what you were doing was also as she's wearing headphones We forgot to mention this me Isabelle does her fucking Japanese fan And then you, and she said this and that one, and I was a big dick and a dragon, and I write my name in the sand with it. And then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and I took over the fan and then I never got out of that job. My favorite thing is me and you doing the impression, talking at the same time, I would think about it all week, how funny, Jacob, ask us a question.

What'd you guys do this weekend? Well, first thing, first I went out there, I was in the last thing and the thing was sure. But then it started raining out and then all of a sudden, and then I went over there and then I would, I just got chicken fingers that night because that's the way it is. Chicken fingers are great.

And I was like, you know, get a hamburger too, if you wanna get a hamburger. You know, we got chicken fingers and a hamburger. I would have having a chicken finger, but I would have like mustard, hot mustard. I just didn't have mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is the best, I mean this is the best thing. So I mean, if that helps at all.

That's what we do. Does that answer your question, Jacob? Yeah, all at once. I mean if that helps at all Does that answer your question Jacob yeah Yeah, I went home and hugged on Look how defeated oh Brave smiles the two of you put by the way. It's never taken a sitting-down picture ever. I had to. I got out there and I was like, my legs were weak. I was beaten up. Oh, my God.

Um... Can we see Athena's... What are they saying in the thing? You guys want to take bets if Athena shoots a bigger load? I'll say she does. Which one is Athena? The one that was sitting in your chair? The white witch.

Yeah, the one whose ball sweat you're sitting on right now. The one that was sitting in your chair? The white witch. Yeah, the one whose ball sweat you're sitting on right now? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. The one with the nut sweat? God damn it. That was jarring. While she brings it up. Oh no, I want to hear your, you got, while we're on the subject of cucked, you said you got cucked today. It really put, that whole weekend put me on tilt, I want to hear your You got good while we're on the subject of cocked. You said you got cocked today it really put that whole weekend put me on tilt I guess and I didn't know it because uh

Me and max what I'm fans. Did you fan another ladyboy? Oh my god, is this your thing? Don we got to talk I, uh... Dawn, we gotta talk. No, me and Max went up to the tiny house. Just us. Oh, that's right. Sands Dawn, that's right. No Dawn, just the boys. We went up there.

And, you know, we... I told you, we live on the road. The lane... I'm not gonna say it. The road that we live on is a town road, but then, like, a little bit up is the association road, which has the private road, the lane, I'm not gonna say it, the road that we live on is a town road, but then a little bit up is the association road, which has the private beach, full court basketball,

docks, you know, a boat launch, it's got a football field, all kinds of stuff. And it's- So you're not in the association territory. Well, our house is not. So what I did, because I've been going to this, my uncle's in the association. What about the piece of land? There was a piece of land that came up. Our house is not. So what I did, because I've been going to this, my uncle's in the association.

What about the piece of land? There was a piece of land that came up. I bought a piece of land in the association. I'm never gonna build on it. It's not even really a buildable plot of land. You'd have to add so much fill and it would be a lot of money to build. But whatever, I own the land, right?

So I'm a part of the association. Cause I didn't wanna, my uncle. You should grow weed on that thing. You can't, you had to ask to go, it was annoying. So I bought the land. Paid a lot, it was a good piece of money, whatever. It was principal. I've been going there for 30 years.

My son's friends who go to camp with him are down there. They have to ask him to come down for us to go. It was just annoying. So I'm like, fuck it, I'm getting this for my family. I'm doing it, right? Get it. Last year, we were part of the association. We go down, and I'm excited. So me and Max are down there.

Me and Max. Hi. Oh, you have to take a video next time of you and Max walking with fishing rods to the songs. We go down Friday, we go down Friday, nobody's there. We put the kayaks, they have like kayak holders, we put our kayaks down there, we went kayak and- You have your own? We have our own kayaks. But they have like little places you can put kayaks down there. We went kayaking. You have your own? We have our own kayaks. Okay. But they have like little places you can put kayaks, right? We got it down. We found a little spot for our kayaks.

We go kayaking. We went swimming. We're on the swim platform. We're having a blast. Nobody's there because, you know, nobody's down there yet. So then we're getting in the car. A truck, little tiny black truck pulls up like a 1999 Ford Ranger pulls up right next to me and it's a big parking lot right next to me.

Big dude gets out, tall, looks like a retired cop type of, but an oof, you know, oofy guy. You know, not tough, just big. One of those dudes. Big galoot. Gets out, walks over and I'm just like, hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? You were part of the association? Yeah, You, were you part of the association? Yeah, yeah, I'm part of the association.

I'm Robert, I put my hand out. Looks at my hand, doesn't shake it. I'm Robert, how you doing? Doesn't shake, he's like, where? I go, where, I got a piece of land up on the hill. Where on the hill? Up on the top to the right. Oh, where on the hill where on the hill up up on the top to the right oh where on the right yeah over by Jimmy over I'm across from Jimmy where over by the

crush me I'm like to the right I he goes I mean Bobby this seems like he goes he goes I feel like you but let me just say I feel like you three of these questions ago is going what's the problem? Buddy, what was it? Listen? These girls turned you hang on So hang off and hang on before you turn on me. No, I'm not turning on you. I'm with you We're salt we got softened by these fucking he she listen. Listen, dude. So then he goes I Goes he goes I go the land Next to Jimmy goes Jimmy Jimmy's next to me.

I go right next to him. I'm panicking. The wife is just staring at me. Like he's been, who's this guy? He had that little talk, who's this guy? Type of shit. So then I'm like, we bought land, there was people that left and she goes the Hans? I go yes, I bought, and it comes to me.

Because I don't know the number of my land. I know where it is. I'm not even, you know what I mean? I don't yes, it's the, I bought, and it comes to me. Because I don't know the number of my land. I know where it is. I'm not even, you know what I mean? I don't know, it's a piece of land. So then I go, it's the Hans. You're so excited to be having these Yellowstone arguments. Get off my land.

So then, so then she goes, oh, the, I go, yes, the Hans. She goes, oh, okay, I go, yeah, I'm right next to him. So then he just walks away. And I'm like. Doesn't apologize for being cunty. Doesn't say things, she's very nice to me. So she's like, oh that's nice, blah blah, okay, yeah cool. I go, you guys. And it's his wife?

And I go, you guys are across the street with the solar panels, yes. He's like, yeah, the solar panels. Oh yeah, you got the, and he starts telling me how much money he saves. Yeah, we save 3.4 gigahertz, whatever. And I'm like, ah yeah, I'm so cucked out I'm like, yeah, we have the tiny house down the road. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

I am thinking and I'm like, I'm we're thinking of getting solar panels too, and I would not We're not getting solar panels and I'm We get in the car and max goes this story man. I'm so we get in the car and Max goes like this story man. I'm so furious I'm I'm so angry right now. We get in the car Max goes dad That guy's a he goes forget it. I go what he goes. I can't say it. I go you can say it He goes that guy's a fucking dickhead They're gonna say asshole Jesus, and I was like he is a fucking dickhead max. You're right. He's a dickhead

And I was like, he is a fucking dickhead, Max. You're right, he's a dickhead. But it fucked with me because of the show. It jumped in front of your boy. And then this, it fucked with me all weekend. I was literally having conversations with myself. We're in the backyard cutting trees down and stuff, doing like work. And I'm yelling, fuck you. Don't tell me who the fuck you are. I'm fucking, who the fuck are you?

Yes, man, you in the association max is like you this is what I should have you are you in the wire you in the association I need to act it out. You be the guy and I need to be what I should have done Okay, you be him. I need this is what I should have did ready. This is what I've I've done it in this shit I've done it all week and long. I've had this okay 15 times ready good Hey, what's up? How you doing? Hey? I'm Robert nice to meet you. Oh What are you? I'm not shaking your hand. Are you part of the association? Are you? Are you yeah, okay good. That's great. I'm asking if you're part of the so I don't recognize. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't I I don't recognize I wouldn't be here if I wasn't I

Wouldn't be here if I wasn't I said hi to you. My name is Robert. What's your name? Where's your well? There's a property. Okay. Here's the thing. You don't need to know what my property is you need when I say hi My name is Robert. Maybe say hi my name this how people react this help people deal with each other in a civil way So you're not being civil so I'm not gonna be civil so you don't need to know where I live You want to find out go ask somebody else. How's that? Sorry sir. Yeah. Do you mind if I?

What? Say sorry son, is that your boy? That's my boy Maximus. He's a good looking kid, sorry son. Yeah. Sorry I didn't mean. What's your name? Doesn't matter.

Yeah it does matter, what's your name? Frank. Frank, nice to meet you Frank. Yeah. It's nice to meet you, Frank. Yeah. It's nice to meet you too. Yeah, you live across the street from my uncle. I've been coming up for 30 years. I actually was up, I've been coming up here

before you had your house up here, when we used to shit in the woods in the back. I've been up here my whole life, most of my life. And I bought a plot of land next to Jimmy's land. So that's where I am, so yes. I'm a part of the association too. And you know what look at me look at me look at me I spent a lot of money to not be dealt with by people like you

how's that you the solar panels saves yeah solar panels go you know what I say yes you don't get solar panels poor people okay rich people just pay the bill pay the bill I'm not getting solar panels you chooch you ruin your house it looks like shit and who wants to look at solar panels in the backyard you ruin the fuck my uncle's view is ruined because you wanted to save 15 cents on fucking electricity for two months out of the year Frank kick his fucking ass Frank kick my ass just kick his ass Max get her shut up Darlene shut the fuck up Darlene listen Shut the fuck up, Darlene.

Listen, I don't want trouble. I'm just making sure, you know, it's the summertime. Your kid's around. You want me to make sure that people aren't out of the association, okay? We'll do it in a better way next time. How's that? How's that?

Scene. That felt so good for you. Thank you so much, Jimmy. I really thought that was cathartic for you. That felt so good. I'm gonna beat the shit out of Alan tonight. Now here's what I'm gonna say. How's that Alan's a fuck Alan fuck Alan fucking cucked me out Well, I'll tell you this fucking fat Bobby would have fought this fuck He set you up to get chumped in front of your boy, but there is a way You said it twice I ignored the first time but then you said it again

Tell you one thing Isabelle's never seen from me her father backing down from some Trubb. Uh. Do you live here? I blame the transsexuals. They solved this, dude. She has been told, don't be like daddy. I have told her, I've done things that have been like,

don't be like your father, for sure. I've said that five or six times. I had to say the same thing to Max. Don't be like dad. Don't be like dad. Fight back. Stick up for yourself. Dad, what in the world? There's a way to fix this.

There's a way to fix this. Yeah, go beat the shit out of him. But no, no, not beating the shit out of him right now. It's like, first of all, you're putting up a thing. You're putting up a thing where you're putting yourself on even ground with him. You say he's a very big guy. Let's not say he's not tough.

It just, it goes haywire. We're older, blah, blah, blah. I know what it was. Can I just tell you before you give me this? Can I tell you what it was? I know exactly what it was. My stepdad, Billy M., we'll call him Billy M., okay? When I was, it brought me back, I was seven again.

I was six again. When this six foot four guy used to yell at me, call me a fucking idiot, fat, stupid, and beat the shit out of me, slap me, scream at me. I'm serious, dude, he reminded me so- You instinctually respected his authority. He reminded me so much, the same energy, the same type of guy.

But some saying it like made you instinctually respect his authority of just like, okay, okay, I just wanna be out of trouble with you. I was immediately that Bobby again, whatever wires that were connected back then, of just like, okay, okay, I just wanna be out of trouble with you. He, I was immediately that Bobby again. Whatever wires that were connected back then. But mind you, the last time Billy yelled at me, I went after him with a fucking hatchet.

Okay. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Well, here's what I think you could do. Next time, you guys, when you going back up? Next weekend? It was a knife, I'm sorry, it was a knife. And then a hatchet. Then I grabbed the hatchet. Are you going back up, next weekend? It was a knife, I'm sorry, it was a knife. And then a hatchet. Then I grabbed the hatchet.

Are you going back this weekend? We're going back Wednesday night for the weekend. They go up for the summer. I think when, and I think, set the tone for the summer, honestly, next time you're down by the dock there, when he's doing something, give him like a hey, how you doing, and then when he turns around, put a fucking boat oar across his face.

I mean, level him. I don't have a boat oar. I have a kayak one, it's plastic. It doesn't matter. Does it? Okay. You can have his on a boat, in fact, yeah, go with a boat oar. I want a nice wooden boat oar and I want you to fucking, I'm telling you, let it all good.

He goes, hey man, he goes, how you doing? He goes, we're back. He goes, hey, we're in the association now, you know, then when he turned rather. I mean it'll I mean ring of shit There's oh Bobby all right. I'm gonna get you a fucking check it. Yes, each one. I see a little bean one man where Let me say like the Bobby yeah, if I buy you an LL bean $130 boat or would you promise to put it across this guy's face right across his head order Christine? Buddy here's what happened now on so we have Saturday rains out

We don't go down, but Sunday we go back down and there's a lot of people there now like there's more people on Sunday You're terrified. He's gonna come at you again. No, I'm I told you I only have first and six key So you're in six now. I'm in sixth. Yeah. I'm walking down. You're looking. Hoping he's there. Waiting for somebody to say who are you? Oh Bobby would this Oh see I thought you were gonna see him again and then you could do this you could also play this one Bobby this is always the cool move too. The walk up to him and the old like hey Frank I gotta tell man, it hasn't been sitting well with me our last interaction man.

I feel like you came at me like a certain kind of way and I think, do you have anything you wanna say? You know what I mean, like a real mafia, like why don't you have a seat Frank? I wanna have a talk. That's neighbors, I don't like the way that went at all. I feel like you wanna say something to me at all and then let it put the ball in.

I'm gonna tell you what really, and it goes to my uncle said to me once, because we're on the town road. And then the same road, the association becomes the association. And I said, when I was talking to my uncle, the association has a little uppity to it, right? So he said, oh, you're on the town road.

We call you townies. And I was like, what? And he goes, oh yeah, the town road, we call them townies. We're the association. So I literally left his house and I went to my wife. I go, we're buying. She goes, what?

I go, we're buying. Whatever comes up, however, I don't care. If we have to mortgage the house, I'm getting a piece of land and we're joining this association. And we did. We bought the land and the day we bought it I had Kevin, t-shirt Kevin, he made us shirts. All three of us had shirts that said Townies Plus. And we went down and we sat right down. I put my kayaks up, we sat

down, it said Townies Plus. Because yeah, we're Townies. I'm a fucking Townie and I'm proud of it. And I'm Association. I'm both. And I think they look down on that. So when I went down on Sunday with Max, I'm ready to go. I'm waiting for somebody to go, and who are you? Cause I'm gonna go, who are you? I suppose you weren't looking for him again. The exact guy.

That would be my thing. I'd be consumed with that. Every time we went back to the house, I'd be like, Max, you want to go hit the docks again, or you want to go to the association thing? Like, everything, hey, let's go down there again. I want you to watch me bite a guy's cheek. But that's the problem, is I will take, I will...

You know... I don't try to steer you in the wrong direction. I'd say take violent revenge action. Yeah, you're gonna buy me a Bodor and I'm gonna wind up in jail and have to sell everything and he'll buy it. Give it back to me, I'll bury it. So here's the thing.

As part of it, you do want a guy, because people go down there that aren't supposed to be there, you do want a guy that I'm not that guy. If I see people that I don't know that... Now you're sympathizing with them. Hang on, let me finish. This guy's got you. Let me finish. Frank did have a point.

Let me... Right. Now listen, I'm not gonna go at the guy because at the end of the day, he's right. I look like trash garbage. And when you're a member of something like that, people do come down and fuck things up and they're not a member of it.

I don't care, though. I don't... I don't care though. I don't care who you are. I'm not gonna go, are you supposed to be, that's just not me. So when people do do that and they take care of that part of it for me, I'm fine with that because you don't want

a bunch of assholes just showing up, right? No, I hate that confrontation. I agree. You need that guy, but that guy... But he said... There's also a way to come over and be like, like I've done, it's never really mattered, but if there was a thing where it was like,

I went down to my basketball courts or something, now every time I play, I'm playing with people who do not live in my building because it's my friends. How do you know? Because I bring them. Oh, you bring them, yes. Yeah, it's like my group of friends. Okay. And we go play in the mornings on Wednesdays. I do you know? Because I bring them. Oh, you bring them, yes. Yeah, it's like my group of friends. Okay.

And we go play in the mornings on Wednesdays. I thought you were being racist. If we went down there and there was like both courts were taken or something, I would have a thing of me, I'm like, these people all live here or what? Right. Everybody doesn't live here.

But I'm never going to go up to them and be like, you guys live here because you're not allowed to be here if you don't live here. I can't, I'm not that, that's not my, I don't really give a fuck. But he had the wrong attitude. He came up to you with aggression, like, I don't recognize you,'t live here. You can't, that's not my, I don't really give a fuck. But he had the wrong attitude. He came up to you with aggression, like, I don't recognize you, now fan me.

He had a, I know what he did, I know what he did. As he drove up, he saw us, right? And he said, who the? He goes, this guy's an easy ass to kick. Nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm looking to practice punching. He said to his wife, who the fuck are these people? Who are they?

And she was like, I don't know. I don't know who are they. I don't know who they are. First of all, this guy's known me since I was 20. He's been there. I've been across the street from this guy. I've waved to this fucking idiot. He's been waiting to kick your ass for two decades.

I'll tell you what, they're not going to love it when you bring Black Lou and his family up by that lake. I'm going to bring everybody. They're gonna, I'm gonna bring everybody. They're turning on you, dude. That guy's like, and you're bringing a black guy? Yeah, you're coming. You're coming to my lake, whether you like it or not. I used to go up with Alyssa and her family. To my association? You guys can't do that.

No, no, no. Okay. No, no, no. You people can't do that. You people can't do that. You people can't do that. You can't even come to our beach on a canoe. Now, Lou, you should go up there with Bobby,

and you go low on this guy, but Bobby goes high, and you get him on the ground, you just womp on him. They're so, let me tell you something, it's funny too because- Bobby's got a bully. He's got a New Hampshire bully.

They feel like they're rich. You're not rich. New Hampshire rich is not rich. You're just Jersey. New Hampshire rich is not rich. You're just Jersey New Manhattan rich is rich having a plot of land up there and whatever Dropping a prefab house and sticking on fucking solar panels. You're not you're not Better, you know, I mean, you're not a rich person You just have a second house and you bought it back in the day everything cost you nickel whatever

You know I'm saying it's like so they have you know inside He knows that and that's why his only wins are jumping people in front of the children I mean, I'm it hurts every time you say every time you say it makes me want to leave the show right now Drive to fucking New Hampshire and burn his solar panels. I'll tell you what dude I would throw rocks at his solar panels. Listen to me. Why be in a war? That is my big fear of moving, is being in a war with a neighbor.

Dude, you can bust up his solar panels for sure. I'm already in a fight with my neighbors in the new place when I put my fence up. I've already had the fight with the people when they're like, why are you putting this up? Because I'm, but here's the thing, it's good that it happened. It's good that it happened because It's good that it happened. Because now I'm ready to go. Now Bobby's in sixth gear all the time.

I'm not in first gear. I was happy, enjoying my life, fishing. And we had some, I mean. I'm gonna build a fence to the sky, you cocksucker. I'm in sixth gear. The fence is going up. It's permanent. Mind your business.

And stare at him while they're putting it up. Yeah. Just look at him. I'm putting fence up all around. F look at him. I'm putting fence up all around. Fencing the whole fucking place. All around. I'm putting fence up. I'm smoking a cigar the first day in the backyard.

I'll tell you what, if I were you also, I would put some sort of a fucking eyesore on that plot of land. A real, just like a statue of a guy spreading his asshole or something. I'm gonna get a statue of Mia Isabella. Mia Isabella. Mia Isabella. Just with her huge cock.

Dude, I swear to you. All three of them like witches in the woods. I promise you, I promise you this. God. Every time they drive by. Just three trains? Yeah, yeah. Hi, hello, Manny Moe and Jack.

I'm gonna get a big Black Lives Matter banner. I'm gonna do everything this guy hates. No, it's commission. Anyone listening out there, we have artists who listen to this show. Somebody make a statue of Ari Shaffir spreading his asshole, like Ari Shaffir bending over, spreading his asshole

with his long nuts and his fucked up asshole, and Bobby will put it in the middle of his land. You know what the wife said, too, that it just hit me and it just, I got angry again because my land She said what happened to you? No, I used to fucking kick ass and take names, dude When I told her she goes, oh you are the land. It's like a the hole. She called it a hole Yeah, because my land I'm gonna fucking kill somebody right now Bobby I'm getting that statue right there. Perfect.

Yes. Yeah, that's gonna be my mailbox. Is that possible? Does that exist for money? Yeah, you can buy that. I'll make that with fucking potatoes. You should describe this. It's a classic statue, like a Michelangelo statue, with a woman pulling her skirt up,

but she has what I can only say a perfect penis, because it looks like my size. It really is like, it's like an album cover, Dick. I mean, it's perfect. She has a nice pair of nuts and a genital, a nice stick. Yeah, Christine, look up offensive statues and hit shopping. Well, offensive statue to this guy would be Martin Luther King.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, if I get Bernie Sanders, he'll fucking kill himself. You should have white slaves. Oh, I'm going to put, I'm going to put, vote Biden all over my land. Fuck him. And I'm going to vote Biden, by the way. Come on.

I'm done. Let me tell you something. Here's the thing. She said, because my land, OK, the land up there, a lot of times, so if I was to build on this plot of land, you would have to fill it. You have to fill off the road, just add fill. So like when they make places, all that dirt they use, you can say, come to my land, drop your fill on my land.

And I'd have to like, to fill it up, to make a driveway to go down into the land, it would take a lot. It would be a lot of money to fill it, to get it to where you would build a house on this land But you could if I wanted to but it is like a like a drop-off. You can't just build right now It's almost unbuildable. They call it unbuildable land, but it makes even better I know we have to you can you're not building anything just put the statue right in front of us

So you're so wound up and I know we have to go to commercial break, but I will say this what don't say it I'm happy that dawn wasn't there because she would have thought that guys was really sexy the way he handled She goes with that by the way at Christine would do the same thing. She'd be like He's always yelling at me about stuff now. He gets Loved it she goes wow Bob that guy really hmm I don't know what he talked to you, but you just seemed to take it. So I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, because you just seemed to take it.

I really did take it. Frank's wife gave him some. Oh man, you better not look at Max's journal entries from that night. Dad's not who I thought he was. He goes, well, now dad's afraid of multiple people in town again. I wish dad yelled at that guy like he yells at me.

I know we have to take a break even though we have no reads. But they, Lou said no one had reads today. But it seems like lies. We'll be back. Lou's full of lies today. Eddie Vedder's sick. Pearl Jam sells at every show. Big Jay.

Oh. You got a show coming up. Fully loaded, over. It's over, but you know what? Virginia Beach is here, July 12th and the 13th, the funny bone in Virginia. And also you're gonna be at the Borgata Atlantic City, July 27th, that's a big show.

It's a theater show and it's Big Jay. So please go down and check him out. BigJaycomedy.com, sell that fucker out now. Christine, you could've had a couple more. It's a theater show and it's big J. So please go down and check him out big J Comedy dot com sell that fucker out Christine. You can bet a couple more. I don't know I have Portland coming up Portland Maine and Portland, Oregon both I think back-to-back weekends, right? Who knows? I'm in Vermont to that's not gonna up. I gotta get that to you Bobby of course is gonna be at the Gramercy Theater with the Regs podcast, everybody. That is Joe List, Dan Soder, Louis J. Gomez,

and of course, the great Robert Kelly, our very own. On July 10th, the Gramercy Theater, get your tickets now, that will sell out. After that, he's gonna be in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, San Diego, California. Ooh, are you doing the American Comedy Club? No, I'm doing the other one. Mad House?

No, the other one. Mic Drop Comedy. Mic Drop. Really great club. I heard it was very nice. Awesome club. And you can see Bobby every Tuesday night, 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge,

the Comedy Cellar, except for July 30th when we're all gonna be raging at Corey Feldman and Limp Bizkit. For tickets and all tour dates, visit PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly.