The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Bonfire Holiday Spectacular Part. 1.

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

It's The Bonfire Christmas Spectacular live from the Village Underground in NYC! Jay gets loose with some shots as the festivities begin!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okerson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now the bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Back in the flesh, motherfuckers! Welcome to the Bonfire Christmas show. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. O'Kerson, and we are live from the village underground in New York City.

It's been a long time, Colin. Holy shit, we're live, everybody. People are here. That's the Christmas spirit. Damn, you want to see something you'll never understand, Dan? This is called Fat Guy Bonding. You got that, a casual male big and tall, right? Yeah.

Damn, dude, you guys smell each other. Dude, car hearts one of the companies who makes fat hoodies. But it's all, it's, uh, now it's fucking cool. Now it's like boutique. Now it's fun to dress like you lay rebar. Yeah, yeah. It's the chic look to look like you can't afford heat. I'm a working man.

Yeah, that's like our song. That's totally us. I'm a working man. I'm a working man. So hard as we finish a joint drink soda. It really is. We have the song say that's more for the audience. Yeah, it's just an indicator.

Let's introduce our crew who's all here. Everyone is here. From Florida, he has returned. He has risen. Jacob Batat. Where are you? Jacob! it in, you beautiful son of a bitch. Thank you. Jacob, I don't know if you've seen these titays up front. I know Dan has. But I'm telling you, bro, you can live in these things, Jacob. You could hide till spring. I suppose there's probably enough room to hang up

your mom's decorations. You can bring at least one of her dolls. Bring a doll with you. I like that you notice this girl with her boobs almost out, looked at her friend goes, me, you? What? What? Oh?

Jacob, how's it to be back in New York City? It's great. I feel fantastic. I'm so happy to see you all. I missed everybody. Thank you Damn you got a project That felt disingenuous You I said my dad said I'm gonna have when he would come pick me up and act like he was excited to spend the weekend with me

You like hey champ you ready to go? Boy we're gonna I'm so happy to be back. Yeah, so what's up? You fucking? You're like, I'm eight. How? Can we watch a night rider again? I missed you all.

I was so happy to be in studio yesterday. Yeah, it's nice to have you back. Yeah. You were happy after you disinfected it. I disinfected it before you got there. I know. Yeah, it's so much a hassle. You think I'm trusting the cleaning crew?

No way. Are you scared to be back in New York? No. OK. Yeah. All right. This guy? My man, dude.

Damn, you got a lot of Florida in you. God damn right. Jacob came back a little bit. Oh, hell yeah. Trumper, full blown Trumper. Yeah. I'm part gator. Look at that.

Army green hoodies. And that guy's ready for an insurrection. The least manly thing I've ever done, Jacob, is struggling to open this white claw. I'm having a real time with it. Oh, dude. She asked for all that guy's car heart sweatshirt, you listen to him. The three shots on stage, that was Dancing with the Devil. I held one and I was like, we get this good.

Tequila wasn't your drink though. Good be. Didn't matter. Some nights it was. Wasn't really. At alcoholism's a cruel mistress, Jay. Some nights it was the egg of myster. More than I want to admit.

Now, I thought you were more romantic. It was like whiskey and you'd start with your finger and right inside a leather bound book. No, I would do a shot of James and go, ah, and then chug fucking Bud-heavy. That's what I'm about to do with this white claw. Yeah. Tequila white claw, you're on full vacation mode

on a Christmas show. Dude, I don't need no man vacations. It's the holidays, I don't want no man. I don't need a family. Don't want a family. Girl up by my own presence. Santa is spelled M-E. It's a sin. Get it girl, fucking live your life.

Very impressive. Donna and Blitching to get it. Also joining us, we got Black Lou, our Black King, the Black Tiger, Louis. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's always ready to drop a verse. Yes.

He came in hard. Hey, where you at, Black Lou? Right here. Sorry, too dark. All right, you took over fruit. Out there, you lose. I'll let you take over fruit. Lou, stand in front of that wall of white people. Oh, got him. I'll leave you stand up for a fru-tick. Lose, stand up for that wall of white people.

Yeah. Oh, got him. There he is, locked him in. Yeah. This is a black-loo father of Hendrix. How about that, everyone? Yeah. Yeah, black-loo last.

Since the last time we've had a live Christmas show, Lewis has had a son. Is Christmas cooler now that you got a kid? So much cooler. Yeah. I get to play with his toys before he sees them. That's pretty badass. It's fucking amazing. Is Christmas cooler now that you got a kid? So much cooler. Yeah. I get to play with his toys before he sees them. That's pretty badass.

It's fucking amazing. You can unwrap his presence and act surprise, then wrap him back up and he never fucking knows. Oh yeah. Do you want him to understand his black roots? So you'll buy him some good white presents and then also give him like a bag of cereal and shit too. And back this is what we got.

Growing up in the hood, motherfucker. He's never been always a cakewalk. Or you're gonna implement like a Christmas drive-through or are you just drives them through the bad neighborhoods? This is where you could have been. Now you say thank you to me. Did you know how New York I am now? I've been here for like 20 years.

You're so New York, you're fucking like Timberlands. I am, I was driving down here. Timberlands with an open pole. Hell yeah, they don't like Nos lyrics. Yeah. Dude, when I used to ride the fucking Oh, yeah, you know, I'm like, Nas lyrics. Yeah. Dude, when I used to ride the fucking train of past Queen's Bridge, I thought of you. This is a tough game.

Damn, this is where it all happened. But how New York do you? I forget the exact point I was making. We were talking about driving, Black Lou driving his kid through the hood, and then you said, damn, you know how New York I am now? Oh, yeah, when I was driving down here on 7th Avenue. There was a church that was open

and these people, like nurses almost, were just giving out things and a slew of homeless people there. I mean, hundreds lined up around the block to get some of these things and it was so sweet in the holiday spirit. And all I can thought, I think to myself while I was driving by was,

I can't believe I paid so much money to live right near these pieces of shit. Yeah, that's it. New York! Yeah, concrete jungle with you. Don't fucking touch me. I pay thousands of me here. Yeah, do you want the burger or not?

You're homeless piece of shit. Yeah. I don't have a dollar. I'm offering you sustenance. Yeah. Candy costs $6. This is fucking crazy. Fuck you.

Dan, you're in heaven, dude. What? I'm not looking, dude. I've learned how to look without looking. The trickiest I've been looking the whole time. Oh, yeah. It looks like he's never looked, but he could draw them from memory already. You know when John Claude Van Dam was blind in Bloodsport?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she has a pendant hang between. With a small engraving that says... You're gonna watch me accidentally kick her chair to watch him ripple. Ha-ba!

Yo, those things ripple. Yeah. What a cool thing to say after taking a shot at Tequila. Yeah. Things fucking ripple. Yeah, what a cool thing to say after taking a shot at tequila. Yeah Things fucking ripple I got a bunch of good ones watch Whoa, this is how Jay drinks he loads the tank and then he goes Nice knockers princess. Yeah Just wait you're watching him become fully realized

I was yeah by the thermos gonna, I'm going to kiss you. Yeah. Two options. Two options. And both are going to follow with the please. My finger mechanical pencil. I checked the oil. I can't go. While speaking of loves of your life, I don't know, While speaking of loves of your life, I don't know, I'm bad at segways. She's my life, who? Where she at, please welcome Christine Marie Evans. Hi guys. I'm over here. Hey, Christine.

Oh. Someone threw on makeup for the first time in two years. That's true, I did. How excited were you to do another live show with everyone back at the VU? I was stoked, especially since the last one we had, we didn't have full crew. So I was like, oh, we got the whole gang here.

Yeah, Austin was the last time we did one, and now we're fully assembled. It is weird to think that we were, this 2019 was the last time we did a live one of these. I have a question for Christine. I'm curious about, because I did this. We're doing a live show. I don't know why. I thought part of the process should be shaving my beans.

Did you also shave today? I shaved my legs. I did. Yeah! You guys are gonna have some fucking skin on skin later. Not getting any of that fur in the way. None of that beef fucking... Damn, dude, you are in full spring break mode whoo fucking white claws to kill and shave nuts if you have a Joe

fucking get it going Jack I should be wearing small pink shorts yeah dude oh my mom is a fuck like that you're gonna be in a white t-shirt fucking fighting for money in 20 minutes. We're all waving money around our... Yeah! Jacob's got a hose? Yeah. This is the time of my life! I feel alive!

Poor of the shore! Poor of the shore! I'm the king of the world! It's motorboat city! Jacob, I'll be honest, if you go to the king of the world. It's motorboat city. Jacob, I'll be honest, if you go to the bathroom at the same time, there's an outside shot. You can headbutt this chick's titties. And it's going to leave a mark.

Just stop a bunch and fucking breathe out of your nose, but she'll know the challenge is in the air. Our last co-employee, what? I don't know. This is what I haven't really spoken with yet now. What's weird to be able to put it? How do you say co- you know co-employee what? I don't know. This is what I'm totally smoking weed now. I'm weird to wait a put. How do you say co-worker co-employee? I don't even had a recover from that. I realized that we had a special thing you wanted to play and we've been- Well we haven't gotten that point yet. That's right. So it's- We're introducing everybody still. Everybody. the mashers of the ones and twos

He's somewhere there he is He's in the audience dude always he lives in the audience. He brought his little sampler with him Everybody it is the lifeblood of the bonfire DJ Lou whiskey I'm not gay no more. I am discovered. I got everything I needed for. Plenty of things that you'll never have in your life like fans. Birds, devices. You said it honey honey. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the official opening. You want the, oh this is the official opening of the holiday show.

That's what you do not, do they take a microwave from you because you've been drinking already? I have not been drinking. Yeah, dude. Well then talk on the microphone. Alright, so this is the official opening of the Bonfire holiday show. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, it was going on, this is Kevin Hart. opening of the Bonfire Holiday Show. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, it was going on.

This is Kevin Hart. Tonight on the side of the welcome you to a very special series XM Show. It's Kevin Hart's Bonfire, holiday spectaciously. Featuring the star of Showtime's billions, dance odor, and a sidekick, J. O. K. Polk. J. Polk. Polk. Polk. J. Polk. Polk.

Yeah, dude. Fucking good okay, okay. Okay. Yeah, dude. Fuck it, good job, DJ. That was great. They told me they reached out to Kevin who was down to do it. Get in our spot, fire, sweat, sweat, sweat. Ah, then he went back to the Sotershow days and called you once, fuck it, side kick. It's so real.

I saw, I went to the cellar last days and called you about to come back inside, kid. It's so real. I saw I went to the cellar last night and Kev was on stage. I should wait and say bye, and then I was like, I don't be reminded how much I blow. Oh, no, come on, dude. I'm worried he's gonna forget my name. He's gonna be like,

oh, what's up, big guy? Ha-ha-ha-ha. What, Jay? Jay, Jay, Jason. That would crush me inside. I think you know I did the same thing. I prepared for a celebrity thing I was going to say. Like I prepared in my head.

Oh, the same way I said with JLo, how I fucking whipped it, because I had a plan in my head of what I was going to say, and I just did it. Fat Joe, I did the same thing. I had to sit in my head for Kevin. I was like, I'm leaving before I do this. I was did it. Fat Joe, I did the same thing. Goddamn. I had to sit my head for Kevin. I was like, I'm leaving before I do this. I was like, hey, dude, I need your new number. I tried to call you like 40 times.

Never asking for anything. I'm like, why? What? What? I go Christine, grab our food, let's go. I want to get out of here. Why don't you just take it? Why don't you just take it like super far back?

Why don't you take it to like, just something that, you know, you guys both would remember from when you were coming up. Oh, yeah, I remember getting blown and came to New Jersey by a hooker. What a good intro. It was a good one. Now you've got my interest. She was wearing an Erica Badu headwrap.

It was weird. Ha, ha, ha. Well, never know. We told them, don't tell if it's real or not. It's like, He could be in town. He could be, might be. Ah.

Ah. What a live show be complete without live Mark Norman drops. Yeah, dude. Big J looks like he's gearing up to storm the capitals. Yeah. Yeah, I think he's here. You know what? It's not actually a surefire thing. I'm always so dressed like I'm ready for do something.

Are we globalizing? He could throw out some generic ones and still hit us. Oh, yeah. Son of a bitch, we'll never know. Goddamn dude, live bonfire for the first time since 2019. Oh you're right, we should take a shot to that. Shot! Spring break, J!

Woo! Everybody! Anyone who has a convertible Wrangler, I'm fucking. Kidding girl! Now, are you just ride this out? You don't do any more shots the rest of the night. No, I might have another call though. Oh, you bad girl. You don't feel the urge just to keep going until the road closes.

I don't, it's literally the thing I don't get about, and I said I just, I believe it's real. Sure. But I've seen that. You believe it's real. I. But I've said that. You believe it's real. I do, but I've said a lot of people that you know that are proof. Here's what's interesting. I almost wanted to make a joke about this,

but it's true. People who are alcohol, I guess it's the sign of how I can tell someone's an alcoholic. When you start drinking your ideas, like, oh, let's get fucking drunken loose. And then when someone goes, when the person comes up and goes, hey, should we do another shot? And you go, I think you're like there.

That's what I want Christine. She come over and go, you want another shot? And this I would be over here. She'll think the fucking lead singer of men at work. We got done, super. We got a little friends of mine. That's men without hats, dude. God damn it, I don't know.

It's all the same to me. No. Men with hats are without hats. Come on, dude. I'll come from a land friend, man. That's men and without hats, dude. God damn it, I don't know. It's all the same to me. No. So men with hats are without hats. Come on, dude. I've come from a land down, under. Damn it. You know what? You could have told me it was the same band.

But that when you're... No, but you guys are, I would be wanked. And she'd be like, you want another shot? I'm like, I could do another shot, but you probably shouldn't have another shot. And it goes immediately to like, what am I fucking up? Am I doing something shitty? I'm not fucking drunk. And you're immediately to like, what am I fucking up? Am I doing something shitty? I'm not fucking drunk.

And you're like, no, I mean, this is the exact thing that you are drunk, right? Like what you're doing is like the thing. So that's what I mean. Like when somebody told me to go, bam dude, you're pretty loose. I'd be like, oh, then I should stop. Because I'm like, I'm weird.

Weird. Weird. Wasn't the idea like, well, next step is puking and saying something weird to a stranger. No, because I could hold my liquor. The next one's like, oh, I want to get fucking super loose. Yeah, I just never believed when everyone's like, you probably had enough, and I was like,

how do you do one more? Dude, I did a show last weekend. There was a guy in the front row with a turtle neck and a blazer on. Pretty cool. He was salt and pepper hair. Look like he had dough, sitting with his legs crossed, touching knees. You know what I'm talking about?

Like a real, yeah. So like I could do it, but I don't trust this chair. And I do not want to fucking fat break a chair. One more claw and we'll get you to cross. Oh. Damn, you guys are feeling that third. one more claw and we'll get you to cross. Oh. Damn, you guys are feeling that third, you're seeing that third tequila shot hit him right now.

He's like, I can take your pants off. I'm going to kill Morrison, Miami 69. You guys want to see it? You guys, I shaved a playboy bunny into my pills. You guys see it? You guys, I get nuts. You're a bunch of fucking slaves. Yeah.

Dude, the third segment is to be holding his hair. I'm like, all right. It's like, uh, uh, uh. What are you still here? Do you guys all hate me? You ain't been friends. How many do you guys do the next place? You ever puke in Rally?

Oh, OK. I haveuked in Rally? Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. I have puked in Rally, but like, it's not a real rally, it's like, all right, now I can get through whatever we're doing. One time I had my arm out of a car and someone was driving it and I puked out the window but I didn't move my arm.

And then I had to take my shirt off, but it was winter, so I just put my winter jacket on. So I was just in a winter coat without a shirt on and then I went to the basement or no one was and I fell asleep sitting up. And then someone just came downstairs and I went, I was just looking for you. And I had never met the person. And I was like, I was just looking for you. And they're like, who are you here with? And I was like, I was just looking for you. They're like, who are you here with? And I was like, I'm Dennis's friend. And then I just went back up into the party.

I was like walking around. My shirt was outside. On the threesome that ever happened on the motor head crews that I did, in my mind I was touching this girl's naked butt. And I was like, I gotta get my guess off back in the game. I go, if I just puke, I'll be fine. I go, I'll just puke over my shoulder off the side

of this cruise ship. And I'm certain I just went, poof. No arc at all. Just like, blah, blah, blah. I remember nothing after that. I just know whatever my mind, in my mind, I was like, let me just send this real quick

Yeah, you thought you're gonna be like, but what I probably just did was like some good second You thought you're hitting a spatoon like an old cowboy Christine said Christine said they kissed for another minute and then went all right. I guess it's over Hey, do you hear that bubbling up of something? Like, oh, you got some blah, blah, blah. Damn, dude, when you woke up, you knew what you blew, right? You were like, I don't remember sleeping. It was the craziest thing I've said this before.

It's like, it was like a... Remember in Requiem for a dream, when they would do drugs, the big sputs. Yeah. All the different scenes it wants, I'm telling you, Remember in Requiem for a dream when they would do drugs, the big sputs. Yeah. All the different scenes it wants. I'm telling you, I puked all over myself. Then it was like a fucking soft-sour-n-ice cream.

I blinked. I blinked, opened my eyes, and I was in the hallway of the cruise ship with Ralph and Christine. I remember looking at Ralph and being like, thanks. I don't know why. And then I blinked and opened my eyes, and I remember looking at the bottom of a trash can of puking into it. Okay.

And then blinked and opened my eyes and I was sitting up and the sun was out. What time is it? It was three in the afternoon. Yeah, dude. I did not feel good. That was my only ever blackout in my life. Was that one time?

Yeah, Christine was excited. Christine was excited because she had a lot of stories when I was younger. She was like, and then this guy brought five of his friends over and said, we all want to fuck you. And then I did one more shot and I'm like, yeah. And she's like, I don't remember. And I'm like, what do you mean?

Do these guys, do you fuck all five of them? You go, I don't know, I might have, but I don't remember. I'm like, that's not real. That's so much cool. So when I said that story, she might have, but I don't remember. I'm like, that's not real. That's so much cool. So when I said that story, she was like, see, I probably never fuck those five black eyes. I probably puked into a trash can and thanked Ralph.

Whenever I would black out, it was always way less cool. It was like, did I eat soup and watch 30 Rock on DVR? Oh, I smoked in the house. Dude, Nate Bargaz, he was the best of first time Nate got hammered in front of me, and Nate, he went red state Nate. Yeah. Like, he lost his cool, and he'd be state at my house that night. And when I woke up in the morning, it was hilarious.

He was like, he's like, are we cool? I was like, what do you mean he goes? Well, a lot of my new friendships start like this. Everything's great, and then I get drunk and say something crazy. And then we're not friends anymore. I was like, nah, do your car. Do your beer friends with alcoholics?

Is it just being friends with werewolves? Good question. I guess. Christine called that werewolf. Christine said last night, geloch me and my cage. Buddy, we did the whole trial about it. And Des is here here our friend des

Where's des it sit right there? Oh des our friend from a from the DC Maryland area He came to my show. He was there when Christine got happened one of the last time she ever drank. Oh, this started the trial The start of the trial. Yeah when John F. O'Donnell another comic who Christine banged slut I went to go meet... Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. in our relationship. It is a full-blown miracle of God that she never fucked a Rosa. And I think Mark had a girlfriend at the time, but Mark would have definitely fucked her face

at some point. I got her in the ass. Yeah. That was actually a drop. You see that so many times, that wasn't real. He's not actually here. Christine, was you and Derosa just ships passing in the night?

Yeah, it's we hung out. No, no. Did you fuck Derosa? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, Derosa, I became friends with Derosa because he was kind of dating my girlfriend that I worked at another club with. So she, to me, Derosa was always hard.

Got it. You would make work. There was never any like room. I always said I didn't have a chance to get a crush on you ever, Dan, because when I met you, I already had a crush on Nick. Oh, yeah. We worked together. So I was just like full blown in that. So I never, and then I was dating Jay. So I never had time to get a crush on Dan. Dan, you could easily fuck your steam too. She is not a difficult lay. Difficult come 10 years later, but not a difficult lay. How the hell do you not know how to- Man, with that have been a thing if you would have found out it was Deroza, would you have been like,

we wouldn't be together. I, one percent, it's not man at the Rhoza, I'm just like, I I don't want you to it's too close to home. John F. O'Donnell was not close enough to home, but Des was there for Christine getting fucking wonky eye hammered. Nice. And I want to go through meet and greets and Christine just stayed in the back and drank and John F. O'Donnell's story is a sweet kid. General, that's a very sweet guy. John F. O'Donnell's a sweet dude. Yeah. I know probably John and he was hanging out. That, I don't, that's fine. I'm not that person. I don't give a shit.

But when I came in from meet and greet, I walked in the green room where Dez and his chick were hanging out. A girl who, another girl who I thought wanted to hook up with me in Christine and Christine's sitting next to John for Donald up on them, by the way. And I walked in the room.

What do you mean up on them? Like a leg up. It was a small couch. She was definitely like, dropping me like, yeah, they were close. I don't get it. No, that's not the problem. I don't get that. All that's fine. Make a joke. Hey, Jay, look who I found. Make a joke. She goes, no, I walk in the room. Her boyfriend, her current boyfriend walks in the room and Christine goes, oh, great. Now two guys I were all dog came and are in the room together. And I went, ah, okay, also in the room, the manager of the comedy club,

he was fucking insane. Yeah, dude, what a grenade. What a short sentence to fucking blow the whole room off. I'm sorry. And then we did go back with a girl who came to hook up a set night. Christine drunkenly nodded off. I'm sorry, and then we did go back with a girl who came to hook up with us at night. Christine drunkenly nodded off, and I was gonna hook up with that girl, and that girl goes, all right, before we fuck,

you should just know I don't get on top. I go, you should just go. That's a weird thing to say. By the way, that's fine. You should just weave didn't never getting on top. When someone goes, I don't get on top, I go, I bet it's not the only thing you don't do. Yeah.

I bet you're gonna get weird when I spit in your butthole. Yeah. Here's a laminated list of do's and don'ts. Yeah. Well, start at number two, don't go on top. I don't like like punch and do like like choking. Dude, should we start our new segment on the show? Oh yeah, we have a new segment for live shows.

For live shows, It's a great one You'll introduce it. I do is he here. Are you here right over here? Everyone's coming out of our live show called Josh Adam Myers homie of the moment everybody My homies It's Josh Adam Myers Merry Christmas Josh. Merry Christmas and a happy Hanukkah to every homie in here.

I have found a very special homie. A very special homie? Yeah, he's a huge fan of the Seattle Supersonic. So I remember, there was a team with him immediately. It's my homie, Franco. Franco! What's up buddy? Hello, fellow camper homies.

Nice dude. Franco, where are you coming in from? Sat down. Nice. Not Seattle? Not Seattle. Interesting. Did you dig that Jersey out of a landfill? Pretty much.

Yeah, did you steal it from an African kid in Africa? Yeah. No, that was funnier than that. No, hang on a second. Dude, give Tequila J the response as he wants. You gonna cross Tequila J? Yeah, I wouldn't advise it. Dude, you gonna take this guy out of spring break?

Christine's got to go home with this psycho. And now I'm all amped up about that guy, she fucked again. He goes, get your stuff to animals. I want to do a courtroom reenactment. So it was like his dick big. So this is you and you caught up with Mr. Bear who's John F. O'Donnell. That sentence has definitely been said in our house.

Was his dick big in the mind? He said, I don't remember. I'm like, that means it was. I heard the roast, the name the roast beef sandwich after. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha Ah! Top or bottom? Muzzle. Back to Josh's homey of the moment. I just found out that Franco works in IT. Yeah, you should all be worried that I work for big banks and I handle all of you data. Oh, no shit.

Well, that's, what a perfect summation of our fucking fan base. He's like, I have a job and you guys should be worried that I have that job. Yeah, really. He's like, my last job was telemarketing and now I fucking do bank accounts. I'm not gonna lie, dude. I got a pretty big hole in my resume from 2011 and I got a lot of blister and just are you from a super Italian family? Italian and Irish, but no. Franco is super fucking Italian.

We'll tell you my middle name, but it would just make it worse. Please, we got to know. Salvatore. Yeah. Damn. It's Gindaloon City. Is your mom Irish Irish Italian? And she's Irish. It's a good one down to that. Everyone's Irish to Italian and she's actually is everyone's Irish to Italian? No, my biological father is 100% Italian. Why do you say biological father would happen?

Because you guys know when says that unless you're shack wrapping. Yeah, dude. You only say that if you're used to saying in court statements too. Yo, Steve is my father because my biological wouldn't bother. So, they looked at the T-Teezer Ripoyne. The T-Teezer Ripoyne.

I'm hypnotized. So you've... Three shots, dude. It's the perfect drunk, Dan. If you ever come back, let me just tell you my recipe. See ya. Sure, Jay. If you ever come back, let me just tell you my recipe. See how? Sure, Jay. I'll stop it three.

I'll take another one of these if you want to see me flash for cash later. Dude, I want to get Jay fucking white girl drunk today. Woo! Franco. See, you guys have Gary. And your Gary's make my biological father look like like your Gary's look like father's the year compared to mine. Oh No shit. You want to fuck it do this?

You're Soda you're gonna lose you know I don't know if your dad's father used to tell him to look at porn while he sold booze Not completely off and he's dead. When I went to the... My dad introduced me to the woman he was fucking behind my mom's back. And then I said, my mom asked where this ball was from and I said Denise gave it to me. Franco you might win, but this is no easy dojo. So my opening salvo will be the first time I applied for a job Franco you might win, but this is no easy dojo

So my opening salvo will be the first time I applied for a job They were like um we have an issue with the background check because it says in 1988 you are arrested for crack cocaine distribution Okay, I was one in 1988 He stole my identity and now every job I go to I have to explain this long Tiger style is pretty good. I Respect that Your dad putting a cocaine case on you you've learned you've learned a hard style of kung fu Damn damn dude having a kid like dude fucking cell rocks door. It's on my kid. Yo I'm gonna keep it like dude, fucking cell rock. Stoneware, it's on my kid.

Yo. My friends aren't here, they're gonna put a one year old in prison. Wait, you gotta put a one year old sink sink. Fuck a little to bite. I got a little thing so old. Hey Franco, I'm sorry about that. How do you battle that? My dad put a Columbia House record just counting my name.

That's pretty good. I got one. My dad took $20,000 that my mom and him had saved up for 12 years. That's pretty good. Franco says he can top all of that. My dad took a child pornography that he knew I had and then told my stepmother he didn't know I had it. What do you got, Franco?

OK, so along the lines of the money thing is, before he split town, he was a drug dealer. My mother's open with this, and then he started getting high on his own supply. Okay. So before he split town, he took out a big loan with the Westies, and he also bought a bunch of drugs on co-signment from a dealer

and told them, oh, don't worry, the money's in my house and my son's crib. So one day... Damn, dude, this is like a... This is like a boining suit on steroids. So what? So one day, they all took to collect at the same time. Also, at the same time as the DEA was kicking in the front door to arrest them.

That's what a fun sitcom moment! And I'm here for you! But I'm here for you. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Did everybody keep coming out of different doors? Hey. What? What?

What did you chase him up? Did he? He's chasing his mom. He's mom's chasing him. Yeah, but that doesn't. Yeah, no. So when he was straight, he sold it out of a pizzeria because why the fuck not? Yeah, just keep on brand, but no, so I believe the drug dealers showed up first and

They they just knocked on the door. They were gentlemen about it Nice the Westies tried to fire bomb my house Okay, oh, of Molotov into my bedroom classic was it and Classic. And then the DA showed up like two hours later. And my mother was just like, just fucking take the halik. I'm taking the kids and we're just gonna go for it. Shit, how like? So what happened to your dad? Where's your dad now?

I, he lives somewhere on Staten Island. He works for Verizon as much as I know. He's one of the jokers. Yeah. He might be. It's a mirror. Oh my god, my sword of history. My boy, Franco, but look at the man you grew into

to love a dead NBA organization. We're estranged. Do you want to move in with DJ Lewin, his brother? I mean, it'd be a cool house. It's the same level of white trash. By the way, DJ Lou's brother Will is here tonight, everybody. Will, it's time to close the house. Shut out, Will, whiskey, dude.

Fucking Will whiskey, successfully keeping women away from his brother for years. Good luck, gals. Get close to Lou. Yeah, then you spot it. You want to fuck DJ Lou? You better make nice with Will. Or he'll tell you you can't hang.

Yeah. Do not love the Keele Jay. Huh? I love the Keele Jay. What are you talking about, dude? You're all spicy. I wanna build a water slide from my window to the street. I just feel like you would be like,

let's do the show outside today. Yo, you guys to take this outside? We could do it in a polling hour. That's so sick. It would be so sick. Should we take our first break? Let's take our first break. All right, we're going to take a break.

That's a bomb fire. Live at the village underground. For the Christmas show, Holiday Extravaganda. We'll be right back. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!