The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Crew Gets Juiced Up

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

Our black king returns and the guys plan to take steroids, overlooking some of the harsher side effects. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com#CrackleCrackle

Hey, it's Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. You want more bonfire. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. You can go to SiriusXM.com-slash-Bonfire for a special three-month offer. The Bonfire! I'm Dan, that's J. Blah blah blah, whiskey hit it. All rise welcome back the black tiger our black king and the soul of the Black Lou Chomsa! Yeah! Fucking Lou is back!

Black Lou, welcome back to your home to the bonfire, baby! Fucking missed you guys, man. Dude, first off, a lot's gone on. You've been with Hendrixrix Hendrix is four years old now he is show yeah he's in school he started school reading and writing but you have a whole home studio built you built it you got it up yeah it's coming together pretty nicely just got some soundproofing done got my little ring light going microphone set up I'm excited I got a couch and some wood carving

shit Christine picked out behind me. That does a lot for the sound. It really grabs a lot of that sound. It really holds most of it in. It's pretty good. Dude it is so good to have you back. We've missed you so much. Brendan, well good. Lacked several things. Blackness. His name wasn't the same as DJ lose. It was a whole thing we couldn't play off of And then by the way zero hour two minutes left of the show last night Brandon goes oh When I was on Nick the Paula show we called my brother in prison brother in prison Yeah, and then then he's like now I'm gone forever

I'm willing to take the fault that most of the time we steer the conversation away from stuff that might have discovered that, but he still should have given us a heads up. I mean, he could have given us the goods. I mean, remember Hardcore, we found out very quickly about him being involved in massive, yeah, just guttural pornography. So I guess our question is Black Lou,

just come up front with us. Were you fighting crime in your off time? Is there anything we didn't know? Did you fall in with the Russians? now you owe money give us the details uh... i just got fat rewatched the entire jersey shore series and the entire charlotte park boys series and all the movies can i can i suggest maybe you open your heart and mind to the flora band, my sure?

It will take you right back to those early Jersey Shore years when everyone, they're in that fun phase now where they did their first couple seasons of being real sloppy pigs. Now they're still, they don't realize they're still sloppy pigs. Now they keep telling you how mature they've gotten, which are still the good years. The problem with Jersey Shore now is some of them have actually

gotten mature enough that they're just not that interesting to watch anymore. Ronnie though, Ronnie's in trouble again. Is he in trouble again? Again, different girl. I believe arrested again. Really? Look that up if you could.

Well, that's the thing about the Jersey Shore that I know is I only get my, I'm told through you. So it's like you could change the narrative at any moment. You can make stuff up and I would go with it because when we talk about on the show, you're my go to Jersey Shore person. Absolutely. Wait a second. Lou, are you looking it up? Black Lou. Yes, sir. Oh my God. You finally let Jacob stop doing the videos. Oh, Jacob, I thought you did a wonderful job. Jacob, do what you do.

Eat your edible maize too. Yes I did. Yes I did. Yes I did. Eat your edamame soups and fucking just be Jacob. That's what I love out of you. And also, kind of say this before we start the show, we've been down, we were down two crew members for a little bit.

We're still down Christine until she gets back that we, I'm gonna make it, I've never done this for. Apologize to the audience a little bit. To no fault of anyone specifically, we just, we should have produced the mother's days better. Oh, terribly executed. Nobody getting to see the pictures, seemed to give us excruciation.

Listen guys, I do feel bad. I mean, we should have gotten releases for all the pictures sent in, done a real thing, in the future we'll do better. That was bad production. That was bad production. And also that's a part of this is when you got to admit when stuff doesn't go the way you wanted it to. Well no, it was fun.

They needed a visual element. If we literally could have just put the pictures up and had the bracket system, somebody would have made a bracket online. It would have been great. I just want to say, system. Somebody would have made a bracket on the grid. Great. I just want to say, y'all got a lot of hot mommies, but totally. We did. That's what we did.

That's the positive in this shit store was that you guys got a lot of hot moms. So thanks for letting us bask in your genetic glory. Yeah. Um, but we're different. Black lose back. We're tightening up We call me call me an asshole if you want call me an Aegis I'd rather have a youthful 30 something Black glue on the sticks then like I'm going to scribe as an elderly Jew living in Florida right now

Jacob stop it. Jacob's probably confused by the whole computer process in general He's the whole thing scares it. I Jacob You're fastening of knives is both rustic and appreciated Yeah, here we go. He's the rest of the game for domestic violence after his girlfriend called the police Even as she claims they're now fine Which is the funniest way to end the headline of domestic abuse. No, we're cool now. We're cool now. No, it's everything's cool. Oh, you know, we want to take a peek at this girl for in Sapphire, Matos.

Really? That sounds like a name generated name. Like if you were a prime minister, he's all he's already on probation after agreeing to a plea deal in November, stemming from a domestic violence arrest in Hollywood. I remember that one. He pleaded. Hold on a seven misdemeanors.

Are you guys trying to tell me that in some way a guy who took a ton of steroids? You don't know that. I'm just saying you're making a lot of things. He came in. He was nice. He was very nice. He was very, very nice. He's got a fantastic body. Jay looking at his one. Jay. Yes, Dan. Do you think he did steroids? No. You don't think he did steroids no you don't think it i think it's there is a guy's

you say ronnie from jizzy short didn't do steroids then i'm allowed publicly to say that berry bonds did not do steroids you don't mean that i definitely steroids never got caught did you not never got caught i thought it was a big thing oh balko go look into it they fucking folded

then he didn't why would why would he take steroids? Yeah, exactly. So we're cool actually I was talking on skanks This week about maybe I might some start some steroids. Yeah, yeah, I might have a chance Should we make this show terrible but our bodies incredible? Just get yoked and just get jacked Until we get back in studio. Do you guys want to do steroids until we're allowed back in the room and then when we're in Dude me you do a year of Royds. No, it's a back in studio. Do you guys wanna go to the studio? We'll do steroids until we're allowed back in the room and then when we're in... Dude, me and you do a year of roids? No, it's in studio. So that's still three months, four months? Three months, you'd see some gains from roids for sure.

Gains, you do? Do lose weight? We'll tell you about it. You lose weight. Okay. And here's a problem. It could cause some internal problems that could maybe send you to a hospital.

It's great. But my question to you is, do I get to wear the tank tops that are very thin on the top and Oh, you actually tie a knot. Yeah, I'm gonna tie a knot. You pop on my traps. The most f. It was one of my delts and my traps. What are these traps? Yeah, dude. My traps poppin. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. What are we gonna shoot? Oh, no wait, deballs. I might know what the fuck

Trapezius dorsus. I would not know. Yeah traps are Right here. That's trap. That's your lats. Yeah, these are your lats these are your traps. We got it dude Trust me guys. We're getting new to the steroid culture So you're gonna have to give us some time Dan talk to black Lou from it. I'm gonna go banging out 20 real quick Yeah, anyways black Lou lots been going on So you really are we increased our maxes. We've been working on our set reps. You know, a lot of right now we're doing high weight low reps just to get that power going. You're going to know as J's form right here. It's all this is all

this. And by the way, anyone on the crew can join in. Black glue, you want to start shooting Royads. We get you looking like Ronnie Coleman Ronnie Coleman. Aaron Burke showed us a website you can go to and just order Royads. Just call it steroids.com. I forget what he said. It'll be funny if it was just right there. Order straight up wind straw and equa poise and Royads, man. Equa poise? Yeah, it's the horse one.

That's what I took. That's equa. Equa is it? Yeah, I know. That's what I took. Really? Dude, but then you started having blackouts when you were gonna nuts. So I'm not gonna try that kind of again. That's why I wouldn't move on to Winstraw perhaps.

Dude, are we gonna be the Winstraw boys? Yeah. Get ready, first off, Merck's store coming with those bonfire zoo bears. Don't think those aren't happening. Black and orange zoo bears. If I get yope, I'm gonna dress like an asshole. Yeah, what?

What you're just seems like such a 1980s thing. Are people still roiding? Yeah, we're going to. Crazy. Yeah, bring it back. Yeah, these two barbarian brothers right here. If they're not gonna grow mollets, we'll start wearing headbands made out of our own shirt sleeves.

Good luck putting me in anything that is in a mesh tank top that's cut at the stomach. Good luck. You better be inviting me to your wedding. And then maybe I isn't a mesh tank top that's cut at the stomach. Good luck You better be inviting me to your wedding and then maybe I'll throw a blazer over that maybe I'm gonna be super tan shaved Shaved in no matter what fucking pukas shell necklace always maybe a shark tooth I'll probably do a I'll probably do a dog tag of some sort that's high and tied into my neck Maybe a Rambo necklace. Oh, no, I'm gonna go with that rosary I have made.

Oh, dude. The amount of open shirts with no shirt under it that I'm gonna wear, it's gonna be astonishing. You think I'll ever put on a tie fully tied ever again? Do you think I'll ever have any pants on that restrict my quads? Dude, I'll go to a funeral sexy. My shirt's gonna be my purple shirt

underneath my black suit is gonna be on a button solo. You might see a little bit of my crisp white tank top. Okay. Now, is the show gonna be funny? No. I don't know. It's gonna be a lot of talks of scientific proteins and other things that can help us with our physique.

We're gonna be down 60% in comedy, but we're gonna be up 150% on high five. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I'm gonna try to get Katie to do it. We can get Christina on Roids. We can just be a whole. No, you're not gonna get Christina on Roids.

There's too many masculine side effects she won't be into. Yeah, you're right. But I don't wanna make Katie all hairy. Yeah, you'll make, yeah. They'll go fucking fur back on us. she won't be into yeah, you're right, but I don't want to make carry Katie all hairy Yeah, you'll make yeah, they'll go fucking fur back on us. She won't that again. I want to see black Lou Jacob you shouldn't do Roy's probably because like you're already starting from a great starting point You should go get a land of lose. I got to definitely get into some fucking winch draw. Yeah, I think we give Jacob Lance Lance Armstrong steroids So you got a biker. Oh, I think we give Jacob Lance Lance Armstrong steroids. So you get that biker. Oh, yeah, we let's not steroid you Jacob. Let's start doping your blood,

though. I want you to start drawing blood and saving it. And then the most crucial moments, dude, we're gonna fucking dose you up. I want to give him like the ladder more and put a diaper on him and change his piss out one time before a test. Yeah, we don't have to piss test for this job. We can come in fucking, we can be pissing dirty for fucking years. Doesn't matter, but I'm saying we should just do it. Maybe just a cycle. See how we all do on it. Oh man, this will be so fun.

Getting the bonfire. Super jam. My grandfather, my stepfather would come and coach us on this. We'd be so psyched right now. Dude, we would, this will be- I'll bring the needles. This would open us up to a whole new demographic. We should imagine you to abnormally raging on the air. Uh, Jacob, any word, just any word for my

plastic surgeon, by the way. Yeah, no, neither. Nobody got back at all. Well, Jacob, Jacob, you're not going to need him. And Jacob, tell him not to call because we're going to get on rollets and all that's going to go away. No, that's not now I feel like the guns just like a thing that's in there So I'm gonna get that taken out either way, but why wait what am I worried about looking vain? I'm already cranking Roids, dude Yeah, cuz if you're gonna go in for the tummy for the gun stuff I'm gonna see if they can make my nipples left puffy so I can really can

They can move them somewhere else if you are dude take down my puffs by about 20% 20 to 30%. Dude, dig a bit of nipple on your neck if you want. They take that nipple off and they do breast and plants. You know, you don't even think about that, but all the people that do breast and plants, they really are just nipple doctors. They just know how to like, got your nipple. They do got your nose, but with your nipple. Yeah, they replace your nipple back in a place that makes more sense for a nipple to be Oh, man, if I could shift my nips a little yeah, shift the nips

I would try to get mine both on the inside corners. I would get them right in the middle so I could get fucking super jacked And then it would not I want to look cross-eyed. I want to be like there All right here. Yeah, like a cartoon drawing I would I would get nipple suction surgery look just get them nice and flat. Yeah, you don't want a puppy. I don't want a puppy anymore. If I could get my nipples down since I over the years for some reason, but they're traumatizing growing up. They've settled. I'm in the puff club. Yeah. And I would say that I would I would take perma cold nipples Those are the best my lips are always hard. Dan what a draw. That's what a good draw I'm speaking you already feel it because I can get one of them puffy and one of them regular cold

That's weird like a rock eyebrow. You want to see it? Yeah I think you don't work one up. Yeah, I think before actually. I think I tickled myself on the side. Yeah, so weird thing to know about yourself. You give yourself little tummy tickles. Hold on, they're still puff. You don't have puff nipples, dude. You're being crazy. Yeah, that one's a little tighter.

Well, listen, you know, that one's getting hard now, too. I think you liked it. I'm looking. I think you drew the other one out. I think you liked it. I'm just like you drew the other one out those are all right all all all all all man we're gonna be so jack when we walk through the hallways and serious no one's gonna fuck with us black lu you have a family to protect now you're ready to jump on some fucking win straw with us right maybe right? Maybe some D ball? 100 percent full cycle.

HGH 2 come on. Oh dude, I can't wait for. We're not going to die from this. I promise you. When Hendrix grows up and he goes, you guys want to see my dad's steroid face? And it's just that it's all of us standing around and tight, tank tops. I don't know if it's going to and make our lives and earlier than they would have ended, but it's going to be back end years. I promise you I'm convincing us as a group. Let's all take illegal steroids together. Yeah, but I'm also bad about needles in my butt I don't know how I can do it to myself. We're gonna have to do it to each other Man I could not I have never done it myself

But then it could be and then instead of live bonfires instead of them being fun live comedy shows People can just come to the They can go to the Beach Jim and watch us set our new maxes how fun is that oh live bonfire where we're Jay dango for new PRs Can you see each other pump each other out? I go do them about to chuck up and you're like come on the fucker come on And you're like come on the fucker come on

Or the names or the names of the tours like like Jay and Dan are leg day Yeah, we're like chest and back week or dude power clean Thursday. Oh Dude, I'm a jerk man. You guys are gonna have you guys are gonna listen to the most in shape podcast out there BJ Lou is your fucking girlfriend gonna yell at you for taking steroids? Ah, yeah, she's a bit of a health nut. All right, well listen, you're gonna have to tell or not to yell at you because it's a strong chance you're gonna knock her fucking nose off her face if she comes out you wrong on these ruins, dude.

So I need her to chill the fuck back. And just play devil's advocate, give her an out of it. She is gonna yell at you, make sure it's in your bench shirt. So you can't fucking break her neck with one cap. You can't pull your arm back. So you just gotta give her like out of it. She is gonna yell at you make sure it's in your bench shirt So you can't fucking break her neck with one. Yeah, you can't pull your arm back So you have to just got to give her like little shoves. Yeah, you have to zombie at her in a bench shirt If I may make a suggestion Because yeah, she's gonna stop you. Jacob. There's nothing stopping you from jumping on this fucking drugs with us. Are you in? No, I'm good. I don't want I don't want to take rides now. Come on get yoked feel younger. Why would you want that you're right?

Come on, dude. Probably keep all that beautiful luscious hair you have on your head grow more of it Probably grow more to scientific fact get those nuts tiny so your dick looks bigger. Oh my god, dude All of us would have the fattest hogs. We're such fat dicks and such little nuts message fat dick since it's a little nuts. Little raisinets, but we're going to have fucking just all just walking around with our two little, just our little marble shaking an empty bag. Yeah, but then, but then just a tube of cookies always seemed up that seemed in the middle of your nut bag.

If you're short, you can't become rage angry. It's so bad. It's such a bad look. That's why we know that center of gravity. Yeah, but Jacob, you're not, you're not thinking. Doesn't work for us. You need to build out. You're going to build out. So you're going to have a lot more real estate. You're going to be jacked. Short people aren't allowed to be angry then. Oh, really? Watch that to, uh, to my

Tyson. I'm sorry. short game My tall is Mike Tyson iron Mike five seven maybe five eight. What I already like five two Yeah, probably if he's five ten were fucking there's no there's no How tall is my Tyson This is easy information I think to get Mike Tyson made sure I got five five I bet he's five nine five ten ten you said it yeah all right never mind I heard Prince was a ball of rage yeah Stallone Stallone's four foot eleven Napoleon

Warwick Davis work work work done work. Let's not forget about him Tampa Bay. I bet he was even like five Charlie Garner Listen Jacob the point is we're gonna get you Lance Armstrong Toned so you're not gonna be angry. You're just gonna be healing fast and you're gonna be cut No, Jacob you're gonna feel like you're gonna be cut No, Jacob, you're gonna fill in the line. You're gonna fill a fucking shirt Let the fearsome force some get angry let let the losing me and Jay get mad while we're just I do think you're putting on weight That is a good build for me though. You're right. The lands are strong getting Getting bummed out Dan's being so playful bad that out in my mind. We're already taking bad that out. In my mind, we're already taking shit.

It's the fountain of youth, y'all. Yeah. It's the fountain of youth. I just don't know. Heal faster. Everything's better. Yeah. You lose weight. Listen, I don't know. Do you have lucid nightmares? Maybe I don't know. I don't read the bad parts. You want to harp on that shit? Yeah. Oh, bring up the bad stuff about stairs. Oh, back. Nea. I can't see my back. that shit. Yeah. Oh, bring up the bad stuff about stare. Oh, back knee. I can't see my back Who cares? Yeah, it's someone else's problem. Yeah, no one's looking at my back when they're sucking my fat Gunnless dick and if I'm pulling if I'm doing pull-ups with Chainson and a wait in between Not gonna be concentrated on my back there. We

Constraint on a my form and b the copious amounts of repetitions that I'm doing. Do you believe it's possible that we could, is anybody sent Kim Kongden like stuff for today? I don't know. She'll find her way. She's resourceful. Is that possible? We're, by the way, we were, how's it what? I mean, she's confirmed. She is. So I'm saying, yes. Yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, because we were doing a. We were playing a joke. Okay, we were playing a joke with her all week at the stand on Friday We're like yeah, we'll uh, we'll see you Wednesday And that you almost got moved and then And then we almost forgot to send her a link

Man that fucking hinge cliff stuff really took a life of its own. I was just saying last night, I told Jay before the show, I was laughing doing the impression of Tony that we were doing yesterday, he was like, could you imagine if I said that? Could you imagine anyone saying that? And then you're like, oh, there was a whole different context, but yeah, Jay was telling it. Sort of, I think that was the context. Yeah, that was the context was that he, that guy was his opener a couple different context, but yeah, Jay was sort of I think that was the context Yeah, that was the context was that he that guy was his opener a couple time that he had been opening for him And he does a whole joke about stopping Asian hate. He said he has a good he said he has a five minute chunk of jokes about

Stop Asian hate. He said a chunk of jokes about stop Asian hate. Oh, and he's on TMZ Jesus and he's on TMZ Jesus. You get to definitely. WME parts ways with him. Fucking, that's crazy. Wow. They don't even ask him anything. Man, look at that. They just have the times, too. They like to put the times of death up,

where they're like 142 done. Yeah. We watch this on skecks, too. It's just like, I don't know. Is this how this kid wants to get this like, face on TMZ? There goes my Polish opener. Because I open with a whole seven minutes about Polox. Polox jokes. And I know and then you're gonna find all the clips of the bonfire

where I've been talking about them and then you're gonna fucking get murals food money taken away. So good job. I'm gonna have to fight her in the adorable puppy dog fights of New Jersey Yeah Yeah, that's Murdell that's Murdell Murdell I gotta go to the stand for two spots. I want you to kill for me two spots. I want you to kill for me. Kill, kill, kill!

Kill! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, dude. We got to find a way to mark in our drops. Someone said that to me online. They're like, you guys should sell drops as ringtone. Get the long version of that, Luke. I know there's more kills in there.

I know you shortened it up. But like, I want you to kill. Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! I know you shortened it up, but I want you to kill go I want you to kill go Oh dude black Lou we get on steroids you're gonna cut all that dad weight off you It is going to melt off you like fucking butter and a frying pan. I'm telling you do we're gonna look so good We're gonna be so yoked in full of energy. We're running.

Where do you kept in shape? We were, we were zoom working out. He just said he didn't stop suddenly. Yeah. You let him go, Jacob. You left a man behind. See, let your man fall. No, I wouldn't let another comrade fall.

I'd be right there jamming a needle up his ass. Yep, and that's what we're gonna do. And then he's gonna bail me out for the aggravated assault that I catch at Soul Jules when I fucking jump off that stage and smash him hands orbital bone. Cause he said that my girlfriend's cute. Oh, fucking kill you. Look up the positive effects of win.

Look up the positive effects of win straw. Let's see. I don't know, so we want to do win straw or debaul. Let's pick our poison. Let's pick our poison right now. If I poison, I mean poison for all the pus we're about to get. Oh, it's gonna be poisonous to the world because I'm gonna be slanging. No, I'm just gonna be rep and I'm just gonna be taking my shirt off when anyone asks. Peckaboo.

I'm gonna kill him if I'm like, look! How did you get in here? He's been on! What do you want? I want you to go out and kill. Kill! Kill! Kill!

Oh, I'm scared. Is that of me? I will kill Master. The thought of me putting on my queens of the Stone Age hoodie and just saying that to my her all What are you going to do her response me take me to the park the park the park All right, what are the benefits of steroids? Yeah It's a big all-list of goods here with the increases muscle increases in muscle tissue due to enhanced protein synthesis So we're gonna have more muscle tissue than we had. Decreased body fat percentage.

Dared by by gun. Increased muscle strength and power. Get ready for me to move stuff. I'm gonna change the way my living room is once a month just because I have the power. Why wouldn't you? Enhanced recovery from workouts and injuries. Well guess what, tear down Mondays? Are gonna be great for rehab Tuesdays.

Improved bone mineral density. Calm, take a run at me. I'll let you bend steel around my fucking forearm. Better muscle endurance. That's tough to me. And increased red blood cell production. It's great. No, man, Jacob, everything we just listed is what you are.

It's the guys, the look of guys that get off steroids, that's the worst though. Jacob, no, Jacob, you're talking about a blob. There's a difference between steroid use and abuse, dude. Some of these guys are cranking in all kinds of shit in their body because they want to look like fucking these mountains with striations in their arms for these magazines. That's why we tell you from the bonfire.

We just want to wreck shit in the halls of serious man. We say shoot responsibly. This is us walking out the hallway. Super jacked in our in our zoo baths. I'm probably you know what I do. I got my backpack and I got some weights in it so I'm knocking out. I'm knocking up some fucking some lifts. Okay. Men are taking out a box So lift okay men who take antibiotics they were it's made develop breasts may may and by the way Solvable problem. Yeah, but just more gym time. No, no, you can just like literally. It's like that's like a suction Yeah, okay Get painful erections. Yeah, you wish Yeah, have their test go straight no problem get him out of the way have to scream calm No kids. I'm fine with that becoming but come in fertile, fine, but come in potent, doubt it.

Hi, we doubt it. These are all May, these are all May, by the way, I don't know if you know the positive effects, where it will, it will do these things. Yeah, this is, you know, you may get some of this stuff. Okay, women who take antibiotics steroids may grow excess face and body here.

That's gross. Have their voices deepened. That's weird. Experience menstrual irregularities. Probably having a large clitoris, have reduced breast size. I'll tell you what, so far I'm starting to think maybe Christine is on antibiotics steroids.

No, no, what, come on. Have a masculine female fetus. You know what, ladies? I think you stay of steroids. No, no, what? Come on. Have a masculine female fetus. You know what? Ladies, I think you stay off steroids. I think that's man's work. Little juice. And the both men and take it may have acne, oily scalp and skin, not with my regiments. Get yellowing at the skin, jaundice.

That's fine. I'm too pale anyway. Become bald, never in a million years years Here's the one I don't like Tendon rupture I can't work out. I can't work out if I rupture my tendon dude I don't that's just that's fucking gym talk dude tendon rupture is what you say when you're talking about when you're when you blow a load, dude I don't believe that yet when you're tendon ruptures, bro Jay I'm just gonna say if it comes to squats and bench day and I can't cuz I got a blow in tendon

I'm gonna be pretty bummed out. No, it's what you're gonna do is you're gonna hit that PR Are you gonna go out that night with a some hot chick and then you're gonna rupture your tendon? Saying all over boobs and shit right after I unnecessarily pick a fight with the bartender yes have heart attacks Sure, how could you? Would have heart attacks? Dude you can fucking beat yourself right back to life. Having large heart, you better dude. Already got one, I care.

My heart is enlarged, it fucking bench is 225. Also my heart cares a lot more than most. Liver disease or liver cancer, whatever. Yeah, took out Gary, took out me, I'm honored to have. High levels of bad cholesterol, fine, mood swings. Yeah, well my cholesterol's bad. Yeah, I'd be mad. Flying rages. You're being redundant. Yeah, this list is getting too long suffer Galusions No, you're just my enemy. Yeah, you're my enemy and you're jealous and you're jealous of my perfect body Yeah, that's what's fucking going on you're mad because I live with this giant cartoon dragon

Yeah, and you're mad that I'm also Conan Is that all of it? I think we just walk through that. That's fun. Teens who take antibiotics steroids may get pussy. That's a weird thing to put. I have arrested bone growth in short height, Jacob. Girls may suffer long-term masculinization. So, do you think your parents were putting antibiotics

steroids into your salads when you were younger? Oh man, were they trying to get you jacked? They're like we're gonna make him a super soldier like Captain I mean what is that? I don't know I I have no idea You like flick on my skin it felt like tickle you like a spider It felt like tickle like a spider I know you just got mad at me I sat down to jazze's furry pillow and brushed him away that jazze was like I just did the fuck what the fuck I just know it wasn't you I laid back here. We don't have an animal. I don't My god dude. I'm on edge bro. You know what I probably help?

Dude I'm on edge bro. You know what it probably help? Juson yeah, you know, I'd say I would bring that stress down a lot. You just juice Completely, do you think I All right show hands. We don't have to tell people at home Who's who's really who's really in? Damn, yeah, this is you guys are fucking corny. Oh, sorry, dude You think I can't get Lewis you think Lewis J won won't get yoked with me Oh my god, dude. I think that'll actually lead to Legion of Skanks starting a militia We already talked about and we're already in I thought you guys are all being too is this needles injecting me with needles or pills

What do you know? I know you ever see Rocky for yeah, it needles. Would an Ivan Drago take some Flintstone vitamins? Yeah, what other reference to steroids used to you have, Jacob? I have the HBO after school special with Ben Affleck. Yeah, that was good. Those were pills. That's a handful of pills. That was when he was Ben Affleck was like, yeah, it was just an after,

they did one about AIDS, one about steroids. Yeah, that was pill steroids though, that's for a fucking high school ladies. Yeah, you go right in the fucking butt, dude. I took pills for like three weeks in high school and then I was like, this is stupid steroids. Steroid pills? They just gave you nothing.

Yeah, I was like, I don't think so. Let's go. He was a guy in our high school named Greg who was on a lot of steroids. Was it out? Yeah, he got fucking, he got Jack to fight my friend David, who's, my buddy David was just a big white dude. He trained to fight a guy?

Yeah, he was high school. Yeah, he did steroids because. That's a lot of effort to go against your bully. If you were a bully, you're like, man, I must be great at bullying. They were friends and then David had a party at Greg's house when his family was out of town. and then he fucked a girl and Greg's sister's bed and David was probably one of the best fighters at our school like no one used the toughest guy in our school and then Greg did a bunch of steroids. Oh, yeah

They've been a flick dude. Yeah, he starts like he starts like elbowing or shoulder blocking the wall and then Starts he just opens up a bottle of them and starts pouring the wall and then he just opens up a bottle of them and starts pouring. It's like how it works. He never do how it works. It's like, I droggle, it gets it right before he goes in the ring. We don't go out there without your steroids to make your punches stronger. Yeah, oh, you need your steroids. Yeah, it's not fucking pop-eye spinach.

I really thought that's what it was. When you were younger? Yeah, because I believe that. Yeah, exactly. I was like, if he didn't take that shot, rocky would have won easy. Yeah, no problem. It was like if you didn't take that shot, Rocky would have won easy. Yeah, yeah, no problem. It was that one shot of steroids. Everything, punches, it destroys. It destroys.

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