The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Crimson Fist

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Jay takes a deep dive into the lives of regular people who become superheroes in their neighborhoods. He takes us through the sad origin stories of how local schlubs became vigilantes. Bob believes that Jacob secretly fights crime on the side, protecting his apartment from rats and germs. | Bobby finally works up the courage to admit to Jay and Christine that he dislikes the show "Baddies." Jay tries to further convince him but Bob seems fed up with the chaos. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. I'm doing it phonetically like he does it. Swibble-blow, squibbibblee boos, squibby-boos. Shout. Shout of the devil. Hey, everyone. Shout. Shout.

Shout. Oh. Bobby, watch that spider. There's a big spider. A very big spider. Yeah. I thought it was Max in a spider suit. Buddy, I didn't know spiders were that fast.

I thought you guys were going to skit. It's a big spider. I think you can hear the cup smacking on the wall. How do you get the spider off the wall when it's in the cup? Piece of paper. A piece of paper. Slide it down. Cover the thing.

It's not a piece of paper between the wall and the cup. Flip cup over, put something more rigid. Never caught that spider, by the way. I just lived with you for like a week. Yeah, it was somewhere. While you left there being a street vigilante trying to save young black girls from the water. That's what I do. Yeah.

That's what I do. Bobby Bowie. I don't like that. It's the end of the hang of the show. I upset an old black man. You save a young black woman. Circle of life. You upset the father?

I saved the daughter. Circle of life. Speaking of superheroes and heroes in general. Vigilantes. Vig? Yeah, the, the, I, you know,

I try to follow all the weirdest shit I can on the internet. I just like it. I like my, my algorithm to be fucking weird. It is weird, you go, you get that, I told you,

that was the weirdest when I looked down, like, why is this even related to me? And I look down, it's like, Bobby Kelly follows this, and it's just

girls in an aerobics class, just like, just like pumping their cunts forward. It's fucking weird. Oh, you know, that is that's uh oh this girl who does um she does aerobics but it's all uh like she fuck positions well they even when she's talking she's like come on pump it pump it yep now stick it now stick it now grind it now whip it now suck it and fuck it and lick it and suck it

and then meanwhile they're doing this wearing shorts that i mean are tracing their beef yeah i mean every flap and fold of that beef is hugged up Ooh, man. Yeah. Yeah. That one is not weird to me. That one's just my follow. That's a regular follow.

But I was going through and they have, they have, I don't know, I guess real people who think, who try to be real superheroes patrolling the streets of San Francisco. Well, this has happened sort of before. Is that the crimson fist? Who's the guy that was more like a black outfit or something? This has happened a while ago. There's been like street vigilante guy. before one guy like dressed like Batman but now there's all of justice I would say uh there's a

yeah the Bay superhero the Bay Area superheroes and they all yeah look at they have low following they have a low following but they're not doing it for the following jay they're doing it for the safety they're recruiting by the way can we see what the recruiting process is there that first oh we could join probably they all look like your skangfest photo better. It looked better. Bash is recruiting. Is that the name? A bunch of flaming Bob dandies. The Bay Area superheroes.

Are you looking for ways to help others and solve the problems facing the Bay Area? No. Bash is looking for new neighborhood superheroes. Want to join our projects? Have projects of your own that you need help? Let's talk. Wow. Yeah.

Should have Soda go out there and be the... The head? The 9er. The 49er. He... He... He's... He's...

He's... He's... He's... His elfie should be the... Like, a hammer... Handle. And his head should be the hammer. And he comes in.

He just... He waxed people in the head. Oh, he just... Oh, we call him the headbutt. The headbutt. Yeah, there you go. Oh, the San Francisco headbutts here. Yeah.

You got to give him a name. He's the... He's the, uh... He's the pale headbutt. Yeah, so I think the main guy is the guy on the right who's dressed. He just got a red hoodie that's kind of flashy. Crimson fist. The crimson fist.

And he has, here's a problem. They have a mask on, but he didn't cover his male pattern baldness head. No. If I was a superhero, I would cover that up. I don't want, aerodynamic. I don't want people to see that I have a shitty hairline. No, it doesn't matter. He can't think about that when this guy needs to cut through the wind.

Yeah, and he's wearing jeans. Is he also a legal midget? I don't know. There is. And he goes around with... He's maybe the shortest person I've ever seen. No one mentioned that before we started this video. Yeah, he is very short.

Jacob, you might not know this, but this guy's really short. But they have these little carts they bring around with him. Heroes come in all sizes. Oh, they give blankets away to the homeless. This guy's dressed like Batman, exactly. And the fact that you... Like, these guys are scaring the homeless. The homeless guy didn't want to take a blanket from me.

He's like, what is this? Yeah, because the homeless... This guy's on fucking meth and heroin and looks up and Batman just hand him in a blanket. That would fuck anybody up. I hope the Crimson Fiss is giving him polio blankets like Native Americans. He's trying to weed him out. Hey, take this blanket. The Crimson Fizz, I didn't realize how he is really short.

He's like four feet. That might be one of the shortest people I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, he's very short. His wagon top. The wagon handle is at his chin. Who's that? I forget what her name is in the background. Jay, that's a super vehicle.

But I don't know if she's... Look at that substantially taller woman. The origin story of the crimson fist. Oh, let's we hear the origin story of the crimson fist. He's like, well... He's like, well, you see, I have no family or anyone who loves me. Oh, here we go, ready? Criminals in the street and, like, do all this, like, very unrealistic and dangerous.

What's going on? How are you? Whid, how did you end up finding a superhero network right here? I kind of just built it ourselves. Doing this for a couple of years. I saw an article about Batman. It was like way back when he first started. And I was just like, okay, this kid seems like...

Okay, so that's who I was thinking. Remember I said there was a guy who did something? Yeah. But it was a black dude. Try to find the black superhero guy. You don't remember anybody else? Anybody doesn't remember this at all? I kind of do.

He was sort of like a Batman guy. He was getting in trouble. They were like, stop. Stop. Stop getting involved with this fucking shit. Like, you're making it worse. This is like, this is a real-life movie kick-ass. Where people are.

Right, but they're not, but they don't solve anything. They can't kick any ass. There's no ass. They're in their late 50s. Could you imagine if you needed help and this, real help you were being robbed or mugged or jumped. And this old man and black woman came up to you? With blankets. Yeah, dressed like maniacs?

No mark. Maybe. Do any of these seem familiar at all? Well, don't say Batman. Just like black superhero real life. And you can't really hear his origin story because of his superhero mask is covering. Phoenix Jones, yeah. What's that?

His superhero mask is garbling his origin story. Yeah, that's the thing, too, is they, the masks they get are suffocating them as they're fighting crime in the streets, which is just walking with a wagon full of necessities. They have any weapons except if they were going to throw a warm water bottle at somebody or a blanket. Like they don't even know magic. Yeah. They defeat you with bedadryl. If they were just a group doing like local charity, it would probably be much more well received. Yeah.

Well, this guy, you remember this guy Phoenix Jones? You remember his Phoenix Jones, Seattle? Yeah. He calls himself a crime fighter. He got beat up. He's the man who dresses up and patrols the streets at night. I endanger my life with a reason and a purpose. But a man held him at gunpoint Saturday night

while another kicked him and broke his nose. No Superiors ever had to pull his mask eye part down to show you where he's hurt. He was, look, got him right there in the eye. Yeah, I almost got a little bump, a little shiner if you look. But if you look, he customized his mask so his nose has no protection. It's just mesh because you can't breathe with a, you can't breathe with a mass. mask on. Like, they don't understand that in life, if you have a mask over your face as a human, you can't breathe. Yeah. Well, I remember Halloween. Phoenix Jones knew that and it cost him his nose.

I remember Halloween when I used to have my little mask on. I used to be dying an hour in just sticking my tongue through the, just trying to get some goddamn air in my face. I mean, that's fucking crazy. Look, whatever happened to Phoenix Jones, he has to be done. Oh, I bet he's not done. I bet he has maybe his own justice. Maybe they're DC of the MC universe. I don't think this guy was well received as much as these local, the other idiots in fucking San Francisco.

San Fran. Yeah, but San Fran is a bunch of Tim Wits and hippies. This guy's in Maryland where you're going up to you know, right? Brothers, they're going to kick you in the face and tell you to beat it. No, he's Seattle. Oh, Seattle. Still. He looks, at least he looks like a superhero. Oh, he has a good costume.

He has a good costume, but he has a good physique. The little guy looks like a History teacher put a mask on and just went patrolling the streets. Oh, this is fantastic. Phoenix Jones, the real-life superhero alter ego of Benjamin John Francis Fodor, transitioned from a celebrated controversial vigilante in Seattle to facing serious criminal charges after years of patrolling in his custom super suit and leading the rainy city superhero movement. Okay, let's got to find out about that.

His career came to a halt following a drug-related arrest. No, he was on drugs. Get out of here. Oh, what was it? He was selling Molly to undercover officers. He reportedly delivered drugs or undercover agent in downtown Starbucks. That's so funny. He pled guilty.

He had to pay $500 fine. That's it. According to a 2026 documentary about his life. Well, you know what? When you're a hero, sometimes the dark side is calling. And that's the battle you face as a superhero. Because sometimes the dark side wins. And apparently in this case, it won.

He was arrested for a pepper spray incident. Now you know what he is? He's a super villain walking the streets of Seattle. I'll tell you who we need to get out there in these superhero costumes. The baddies. I don't want to harp. But I'm going to say that Bobby almost couldn't walk away. Wait, hang on.

Pause really quick because I batty's his whole thing. But there is a brand new Phoenix Jones documentary. It came out in March of this year, the rise and fall of a real-life superhero. Yeah. Wow. I can't wait. Yeah, but he looks cool. Like the other guy...

Yeah, he's on Molly, dude. It's really cool. This guy, the other guy, the, what does his name, the Crimson Fist? First of all, his name stinks. Why Crimson? Why not red fist? The Crimson Fist's, like, a Wednesday night spot at a fucking Broadway comedy club.

He just has like a Japanese boy band fucking leather coat. No, not even. He's just wearing a reasonable coat for the weather. Yeah, but it's, what I'm saying is, it's just red. I don't think it's, I don't think it's leather. Yeah, it's just like a normal jacket.

He's a jacket. He's a parca. No, it's leather. I don't think it is, Bobby. It's leather. But here's a, he has his, he has his, he has his, you want to be leather because you see yourself in the sky. It can be vinyl.

He's, uh, you think you're the green fist? It's not the green fist. I'd be the purple fist if I was going to be. That's my favorite color. Oh, it's too late. I'd be the purple fist of justice. Well. Oh, what is it too late?

Because that black lady had on purple. Oh, shit. She's the purple something. Is that, you can only have one color of a superhero? It's a black superhero, the purple pussy? He has his pant legs cuffed up, which is not very superheroish. My superhero costume would have one leg up. It's so funny.

Yeah, but he has it up because they don't have his size. Oh, yeah. 28 by 5. Yeah, I guess superheroing doesn't pay enough to get your pants hemmed. Yeah. Oh, God, he has gloves on. That's so funny. It's fucking absolutely terrible.

He's wearing gloves in case he gets into a fisticuffs. Who are the rest of them? Yeah, go to the page. It has the rest of them. Because we were all in spot. fired by Batman handing out blankets. I could never do this. Yeah, what's her name?

I think she might be, is she trans? I think she might be trans. She's queer, it says. So maybe trans. No, they're all queer. She's the purple queer? Everybody in this group is queer. Oh, yeah.

Now in hindsight, it does look like a guy. Is Jacob typing right now? That's right. He's Nugie Lamont. I would have to wear a... That looks like me at Skankfest, my photo. Oh, my God, Bobby. you know the Crimson Fist?

It's fucking Flaming and Bobby Flaming Bob Dandy? It's Bob Dandy. Can you recreate this look? That one? Flaming and Bob Dandy. I'd be more scared of that guy than Crimson Fist.

Just you know, Crimson Fist paints his nails. You don't see people judging him. Yeah, we do. We're doing it right now. Oh. We're literally judging him. It just seems to. It made me feel like I was a superhero.

You're close. I mean, you're close to a superhero outfit. Getting there. Yeah. Jay, if any of us are getting there, you're getting there. I am a vigilante. Of buses. Oh my God.

Yeah. It must suck to be the Batman guy to have to wear the whole... What is it? The cow? Is that what they call it? It has to... It has to hurt because nobody takes you seriously and no one wants your help when there's danger. Yeah, and when you meet a chick, you're going to have to hide your cowl.

Do you think these guys try to... Did you imagine going, hey, what's this? That's my cowl. You know, people have to... Do you think there's people in their lives who don't know the identity? Well, it's secret, Jay. Dad.

Secret identity. Are you the crimson fist? What? Why would you say that? He goes, because no one of the other parents in town are four foot seven. And have red fingernail polish. And that's your jacket I got you

for Father's Day last year. It's a reasonable coat. And you're wearing my Halloween mask from when I was 15. Oh, don't tell your friends. Why is your voice like that? I'm the fist. No, don't talk like that.

Talk regular. I can't. This is how I talk. Talk regular. I'm not dad right now. I'm the fist. Dad, be dad. Okay, what do you need, son?

I thought you're going to go, hey. Are you about 20 bucks? Crimson fist does not lend money to friends. It's one, crimson fist has one rule. I don't lend money to friends. I'm your son. I don't mix business and pleasure. But I'm your son.

What do you do? You're not going to dress up. He's like, no, you're Mark's son. This is the crimson fist. what would you say jacob i understand nobody in the room is going to drenz up as a superhero but i guess i'm not as good a person as them i'm not going up to somebody whose arm is falling off from trank is dissolving in front of me and say hey buddy giving them a pat on the back and can i help you with something you're not super i'm not super you're not super that's why you love superheroes so

much. You respect the super because you yourself don't react in a superheroic way. Can I just say this though? If anybody would want to, I just see the germs. If anybody would want to be a superhero or would become a superhero in this room to put the dedication into it, it would be Jacob. I could see Jacob in Astoria walking around late at night with like a book as a weapon. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's got low ties in life. Like he doesn't have anything like he doesn't have to come home and explain to somebody where he's been Yeah, he doesn't have to explain to it. They don't have an animal at home.

And he uses, like, he has, like, books that, like, he, a dugout where he could put his fists in. And when he hits you, he hits you with books of history. I, I don't like that. Take that. Abe Lincoln. Boom. Oh, yeah, he shoots books from his chest like Carebear. Yeah.

I do like nonfiction. That would be, you'd be bookman. Please somebody AI, Jacob, is bookman. His whole outfit is from Quince. Who are you? You can call me the lonesome. I love to find Jake's been fighting crime at night, and that's why he falls asleep at work three times a month.

Yeah, it's not because he's bored of the show. He's not bored. It's got him of fighting crime, but he can't tell us. That's how much he's dedicated. He just tells us, and he's like, no, I wasn't a side. I wasn't the bitch. Yeah, because he could just tell us.

He goes, guys, I'm fighting crime. We'd be like, holy shit, but he doesn't want the kudos. I bet if he went back. He'd rather get bitched out at work for falling asleep. I bet if he went back to when we were bitching around the show, under his voice is going, you guys weren't kicking rats all night. You don't even know. You don't even know.

I punched a homeless guy in the chest. What's that, Jacob? Nothing. I'm just, I'm listening to the show. I'm producing. Okay, because it seems like you were falling asleep, it's like you come here every time, and you're just going to fall asleep and do whatever you want to do,

and play by your own one. What's that? No, I was just, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. Sorry, I was just, I kicked a rat last night off of a barrel in front of some lady's house. They don't do that. I used my, I just gave a bum a dollar. I just gave a thirsty guy a bottle of water. That's not going to happen.

No, no. I have to solve crime from it. I just got a junkie some methadone. I just stood up in front of the subway and parrelled everybody's hand. Happy, happy, washy, washy. That's one of his sayings. Happy, happy, washing, wash. Happy, happy, washing, wash.

No, I'm good. I don't need it. I'm good. I have my own Perel. Wash your hands. Wash your hands. He's just the sanitizing. Always open the door for a lady.

He's just, He stands in front of the bodega holding the door for women. Avoid fat Mexican ladies. He's in the store. They're looking for trouble. And there's a Mexican lady trying to read something on the show. He goes, I wish I could help her. Phoenix Jones.

Oh, God, yeah. Jacob, your Kleenex Jones. If someone's going to sneeze, I got you. Bobby, you did not want to leave. I can't. I can't watch it. I got to be honest with you. Can I be honest with you about baddies?

Yeah. I want to be honest with you and Christine. And I know you love it. And I was watching it last night. But I have to be honest with you. Yeah. It gives me anxiety. It's the reunion.

Starting with the reunions a little. I'm just going to say, it gave me so much anxiety watching last night the way people just scream one or two words at each other over and over. and the other one screaming back over and over, and nobody listens to anybody. I don't know if it brings back, like, some type of thing as a child with me,

or like with my, I don't know what it was, but them screaming and yelling over each other, back and forth, and then someone else comes in. You think somewhere in your history you were attacked a bunch? Not listened to. No, not listened to. By black strippers? No, not listened to.

Nobody listened to anybody on it And it's just filibusting But nobody has anything to say It's too much Everything they can say They can say with their fist But it's too much There's no break

There's no There's no Hey man So you're going over there I'm gonna go over there I'm gonna do that You're the only person who wants that thing You asked me that you said

Do they do stuff When they do the show Is there activities or things they do I went no They've wisely Cut that out Bad Girls Club Too many activities

Today we're going horseback riding Today we're playing We're all going to play a game outside And they see if they get in the fights like that They just feed these girls booze And block them in a room together I come from the Torgasm era of reality TV Where we had activities

That's right you guys had activities We had activities Yeah There was a story arc That is what touring comedy is very much like Like this weekend for instance I'm going to be skydiving in Providence And uh

Right. Well, it was, I was watching it last night and it was so... Organized laser tag. So like, fuck, nobody can get a word out. Like, not even a word. It's like, one comes down, it's like, you fat, you fat, you fat, you fat, you fat, you fat. You fat, you fat. You fat. But she is.

Yeah, I know. But you fat bitch. You're a fat bitch. Fat bitch. You're a fat bitch. You're a fat bitch. You're a fat bitch. You're a fat bitch.

But it's over, it's like they just won. No, Bobby, you're just talking, you're just talking out your ass right now. I mean, it's... Roley... Roley is fat. Okay. And Summer came out to let her know, bitch, you're fat. You're a fat bitch.

Right. And Roli's trying to go like, no, I didn't have a problem with you. You're ugly bitch. She's trying to learn what she's like it. But Summer will tell you, still pretty. That's her line. Yeah. She lets you do, she goes, still pretty.

But over. You can bust her face up. Over. How are you going to get it? Well, I, but you do get it. Roly. I got it. I got it.

Look at Rory. She's fat. I know. That's Natalie Nunn. But you can get you fat, you fat, you fat, you fat. Still pretty though. Still pretty though. Right.

Still pretty though. It's so, it's so much. Misenor technique? Yes. Maybe, maybe, but it's so, it's like, it's like being. Bobby, it's so bad. The beating this girl's taking. Yeah, but that's not what.

Last night was just in this dude. It's like not even a. Last night is the aftermath of the, I don't know. Last night was. this girl, that girl taking that world-class ass beating, and that was her coming out trying to fight the fat girl. Here's a thing. Letting her know that she's a fat,

but that's who kept saying, still pretty, fat bitch. But the problem with it for me is that there's no, there's no, like, there's no, it's a hat on a hat. Or a wig on a wig, I should say. You know what I'm saying? It's a wig on a wig. It's a wig on a wig. It's a wig on a wig where it's like, you like a little,

I like a little bit of something, and then you get to the fight. And then the fight is like, holy shit. This is just... You came at the reunion. Screaming and yelling and fighting and screaming and yelling and fighting and screaming and yelling. Can you not... Can you not judge everything by being there for the very last episode of the season, please?

Okay. And let me tell you why. Well, you keep showing me the last episode. I thought last episode... Well, you came. I thought we were watching the show. where I would get like, okay, this is them coming in, because it can't be, like, they have to come in.

Let me tell you how exciting the arguments are when you know what they're about. What this fight is about, the two girls fighting, was that one who's all bloodied up, still pretty. She's still pretty. Her name is Summer. And Summer and Big Lex have this fight on the show right here that turns very bloody.

She beats the shit out of her. And why are they fighting? Because Summer told everybody that they ate each other's Pussies and the big one didn't want her to know that and the big one's saying

I didn't eat your pussy you ate my pussy and the girl's like bitch whatever and then she beats the ever-loving shit out of her That's good You never get the content

Last night was chaos There was no But there was no I agree There was no You ate that bit We ate each other's pussies No you I didn't eat your pussy

Actually you know what After you left There was a little more talk about different girls, he's those pussies again. There's no talk. You know I like a little talk. No, there was talk.

I like a little, not what I watch, but I understand. But there's no, I like a buildup to something and then it blows up and then they're fighting. You have to watch the season.

Okay. I know every story that's going on here. Okay. Okay, but you know. That bitch is still pretty. But you, she, I mean. No, no, that's what she says.

That's what she says. You want to hear you beat the fuck up. Yeah. I mean, she gets the shit beat out of her. None of them. Look at this. It should be illegal to have this happen. It's 100% illegal what they're doing in somewhere.

Still pretty. I mean, she's bloody. Oh, she's all fucked up. She's, I mean, she's fucked up. Yeah. See, they keep saying the same. Oh, yeah, they do repeat themselves a lot. They repeat themselves.

They've only got five words in their vocabulary. Exactly. It's like toddlers and the repeating of the, it's just repeating, I will do you in. I will do you in, bitch. I will do you in, bitch. But then they do each other in. I know they do each other in, but then they keep saying the same thing, and that's what gives me anxiety. But before they did each other in or said the same thing over and over again, they ate each other's pussy. If they show that.

They're not going to show that. They could. Why, they're showing, they're showing pure violence. They're giving her full fucking tit because she's cleaning her blood. It is a nice tit. It's a nice tit. I do like that the girl just took a shirt off and took her, and she had little exes on her tits with gaffer tape. I believe that is her out there was her also.

Christine liked that because it's from the theater, Gaffer tape. That's probably electrical tape. And none of these girls are, I mean, you say they're pretty. You don't say they're pretty. They say they're pretty, but none of the girls are pretty. No. The one who won this fight is the prettiest girl on the show. And she's six, too.

Which is not. None of these girls are hot. She what? And she's six two. Yeah, I mean. Is she? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

If you go back to her, she's the prettiest girl in the show by far. I mean, she's, I mean, I guess, yeah. I mean, these girls... Some of them have, like, crazy bodies. Again, these girls are completely... They're made for just Instagram pictures. You know what I mean? They're just like girls who are just wagging their fucking asses.

Fat or small. I actually think Ralee's one of the prettiest girls on the show, like, if she lost the weight. I think they're all fucking gross. Well, you're racist. No, no, not because... No, black blue left the room. You tell me what you said last night.

Is he gone? Yeah. Listen, the thing is... It has nothing to do with that. I just don't think... they're all fat in a way she's not fat at all dude her she's not like statue she's the one that we looked up

that was in really good shape because she was the athlete dude and the fuck it I'm just not I mean that girl's not fat she looks underestimated her she what's her name big lex big lex big lex is I out of all of them she's that thing yeah that one right there yeah with the blue wig yeah that's no makeup everything's a wig I know I know everything's a wig Natalie Nunn is fucking crazy looking.

They're all, 90% of them are yiff. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. She's wearing a bonnet. Yeah, Bad Dolly's got a good body, though. Who? Bad Dolly on the right there? She got a good body.

I don't think that's a good body. I'm giving my baddies clap for her right now because she's working it, bitch. Is that her? Who's that? That's, Dali. Okay. She's got a, I mean, she's got a stripper. Of course, yeah. These girls are worthless except for being whores.

Yeah, they're whores. Thank you for saying it. They're whores. And the hair changes. But they are phenomenal television. Yeah. They are phenomenal television. What I, I guess I have to try the show because I'm being honest.

Last night was, like, it got like. You couldn't leave. I left. But you were compelled. No, you stayed well past what you thought you were going to stay. Well, that's a speaker issue. It was more of a trance of, but then it was like, all right, dude, this is, this is like, there's not, like, I don't even know what's happening. You stood up and watched it for a while, sat back down.

The reunion's a lot to come in on. Episode three of the reunion, because by that point, anybody watching that, you do assume knows all the drama. So you're, like, excited to hear them figure it out. Right. I didn't, I, all I saw was, gave a couple episodes. Ari Sheffir loved it. Yeah, he's the fucking king of chaos.

Yes. He's chaos. I am trying to get, I meditate in a sauna. I'm trying to, I'm doing, you know, manifestation. I'm trying to get the crazy. Well, I'm starting highway fights with a bus driver. Yeah. We both, we approach things a little different.

I'm trying to do the opposite in my life. So when I watch this, it's like, it's like fucking what the hell? I follow that. That was a great old Jeff Garland joke about like the simple pleasures in life. And he's like, he likes to watch. He goes, he watched the show cops. You go, that's not me. Ha ha.

Like, all your happiest. And that's what is. I look at these girls' lives and I go, oh, my God. This is how they conduct themselves. It is a fucking train. I mean, they're walking across. the street and there was 19 fucking different body parts on that one look at that big girl roly i mean she should roll down the fucking hill biggie's the mess the fat one is the hot one

of the two fats oh so there's a hot fat and a fat fat fat well you remember the other fat we watched the other fat that's the big dominican i love that you you you guys are like all right we're gonna break this fat up this i mean biggie like i don't understand why she conducts herself the way she does then there's a little more demure these girls would love to get bitten right now and become true vampires. Absolutely they would. And set it in stone like this. She's so fat, her legs connected her knees.

Yes. And all the way up to her vage. Do you know how hot that is? Her pussy is living in a convection oven all the time. Absolutely. Her pussy would be hot to your hands. Yeah. You could actually survive in the winter from the heat from her pussy.

Absolutely. Yeah. What she generates from that why that's formed by her, Christ knows what or what have you. That Y shape is down there, whatever the three parts of meat that touched there. Yeah. That's warm. Yeah, that's warm.

You could cook an Elyos pizza, not crispy, but definitely to eat it. You could definitely thaw it. You could thaw it. Thaw it to the point where you'd go after about four hours in there. It would be room temp. Yeah. The cheese wouldn't be melted all the way, but it would be good enough to eat. Room temp.

Yeah. It would be, you know what? They fucking undercooked it. Yeah. All right, I'm just going to fucking eat it. It's like a school, it'll be school pizza hot. Yeah, exactly. If she was in the woods, animals would come to sleep near her fucking fat knee.

What she's giving off for sure. Yeah. For sure. Is heating up. I'll tell you what, if you think of it was, if you need to go to sleep, just enough warmth of sleep, if she probably put, if she opened up that fucking, that crazy area of beef. Yeah. And clamped it on the back of your neck. Yeah.

You'll be fine. You'd be fine. You'd actually have to, like, temper it a little bit. You wouldn't have to be, oh. If you open it all at once, it'd be too much heat. It'd be too hot. I bet you, if she opens her pussy in the winter, it steams outside. Yeah, absolutely.

And her quiffs give off hot breath, like, like a dragon. Yeah. Yeah, like a dragon before he does the flame. Yeah. Some people think she's a squirder, but it's just sweat coming off. Yeah, it's not. Actually, it's not vagina juice. It's just her pussy is just spitting out the...

And you know she shaves that big, fat, bald pussy. She doesn't. A team does of Asian women. No, I bet she doesn't. Oh, fatty coming back. Oh, see, there's the other fat one. I'm trying to find biggie. She always wears a triangle top for some reason.

It's bizarre. We showed her. I showed you last time when they were fighting. She wouldn't fight the girl. She's the one that's wearing, like, a little bikini top. Yep. It's morbidly obese. That's the ugly fat.

Yeah, the, um, oh my God, it's so funny. They look like black Barbie dolls. Yeah. Except for Mariah, I just don't know how she doesn't get her ass kicked. Yeah, there's a white girl. I love that there was a pregnant one, too. Multiple. Oh, really?

Two pregnant and possibly a third. There's a third pregnant. There's a fourth, but they kicked her in the gut, and she lost the baby on the finale. No, no. Now they have the show of her and the baby. Oh, really? But she's pregnant by the owner of Zeus Network. Oh, really?

And the girl hosting the reunion last night was his girlfriend, but then he cheated on that girl with Scotty and got her pregnant. Wait, you guys know all the context of this to where what I want... I mean, we know a lot more than you do. I know nothing. And I'm just watching people scream the same word over and over. And then... It can be a little taxing when they do that.

Yeah, it's a tax... Not me. When they start screaming like that, I get panicky that the show's almost done. over and I start clicking the button to see if there's a, I'm like, no, it's only like five minutes left. And then I go, ooh, it's a mid-show fight. There's still 25 minutes. I get to hear those words for the next eight minutes straight.

Just for one of full scene. Gaggle, you're right, Jacob, they are. It's just, yeah, maybe I have to watch the first episode. I'm not invested. You don't have, Bobby, here's a whole new season of different girls. Yeah. Remember we watched some of those when I was showing you some of the, uh, I almost dropped this whole coffee.

Remember I was showing you some of the, what do you call it? The fucking fights from the auditions. Yeah. There was the gay guys and the girls. Yeah. They were going back forth. Both those shows are the girls,

Dominican Republic, and the gay guys Dominican Republic show. Those two shows are starting in like a week or so. All brand new people. But here's a thing, too. I don't like videos where people get hurt. Like, you know, a guy's skateboarding down a thing and he hits his nuts.

a fucking plan. Like those things always, a guy breaks his leg, I always get fucked up with that shit. We're talking about ghetto people. Okay, okay. Beating the shit out of each other. Watching people fall,

not watching people break their arm. Yeah. It's two very different things. By the way, there's a third fat, and her name is a smiley. Oh, yeah. Turn it up, Lou. What?

Jay's girl, smiley. You guys have got a fat. I'm gonna do what I want. They rap. I've been doing what I want. shows a lot. I'm gonna do what I want. It was a lot.

I was sucking, bitch. I was doing what I want. I got in the car last night and had to take a breath. Like, I had to shake it off. Verse 101. Broke bitch mad. I don't complain. I just pay the tab.

Is this her song? Me. I'll be clocking it. Me. I'm stacking it. It's emaculate. You guys are fucking whacked. You guys.

Okay. You've ever been to the Maldives. It's immaculate. is one of the best lines of a written. If I tried to watch this with Dawn, she'd be like, shut it off. She's... I mean, maybe let her watch a couple episodes get into it. There's no way.

It's just a matter of Boston. Every bad bitch goes to the auditions. Oh, God. Something, something, roly, body. Something, something. Low, Bahadi. Big Jay, it's going to be at the comedy connection in Providence this weekend. Oh, you guys are baddies.

Please come down Friday and Saturday. Josh coming with me. He loves when you scream out and fight during his show. Each other. Each other, not Jay. Not at me. No. You can yell stuff out of Josh, though.

April 30th and May 2nd. After that, he's going to be in Los Angeles for Netflix is a joke. He's out there doing, did you announce everything? Okay. He's doing story wars. Legion of Skanks. Legion of Skanks. He's doing some shows.

I'm doing a spot. I'm doing the show at the Greek. He's doing a bunch of shows out there. And then he's going to be headed. to Austin for tickets and all the tour dates, BigJ Comedy.com, YouTube.com, slash at BigJ Oaksin. Just go to punchup.

Dot, live for my days. No, your hilarities. The 15 to 16th, Stanford, Connecticut, New Orleans, Mobile, Obama. Make sure you see him every Tuesday night. Fat Black Piscuit, Lounge, the Comedy Cellar. Yeah, buddy. Punchup.org.

slash Robert Kelly. We'll catch you tomorrow. Tomorrow. Playing I just pay the tab.