The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Dancing Outsiders

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

Bobby goes to the Broadway play "The Outsiders" and claims that he didn't know it was a musical until they started singing. Jay and the crew do not believe him, so his wife calls in to settle the dispute. | Everyone gives their recaps of Easter weekend. | Bob is into English foods like steak with peas. | Jay plays a video of a man unaffected that a horrific accident had just occurred. | DJ Lou has Bonfire merch for sale so he can stop living in a bad neighborhood. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. It's happening. Tell you what, do you look good with those glasses? Thank you. It's new. It's a new thing for me having so much conversation indoors and sunglasses. I like it. Is this how Howard Stern feels?

I like it. It's a power move. Jago has no idea. I'm scowlicking him right now. Because my face is smiling, but my eyes are daggers. You feel it? I feel it now. I feel it now.

Just making sure you feel. DJ Lou has merch He's got a brand new t-shirt out At comic wearables.com I think he has a gambling problem He needs to make some money Oh, I'm trying to move out of the ghetto He's trying to start paying child support

Government found his bank account Yeah, and his Indian girlfriend's like You have to make money His girlfriend's telling me he goes We have to move away from your brother We have to move away My mother wanted doctor-engineer And I sailed out for DJ

He keeps telling me that he's you and we have sex together. I don't like it. I don't like it. Perhaps you can sell a shirt or something. It's actually, I hate that photo of me, by the way. It looks just like my mother. It's a great shirt.

DJ Liu, describe it. It's a stick man, Pearl Jam logo that I redrew to say DJ Lou and the bonfire. It's on Comic Wearables.com and also my Instagram, Lewitsky, Lincoln Bio. Go get it. I actually like the black one with it. the red bonfire. Very cool. Very cool. And what do we get? 10%? Jay? 10% or 15? That was 50?

50? Do we get 50%, Lou? I mean, you do make, you do make me what I am. But we're really splitting pennies here. Okay. Well, you know, what if it takes off? What if it becomes the hottest new shirt? Then you get a cut. Lou, it should be, the logo should be just as big on all of them, the black one, too. It's too lost in the middle. all that one. Yeah, that's not a fair representation. Like when you zoom in, it's like a seven by seven

on the chest. I don't like, that's the way the original Pearl Jam was. You should move it over to the left. On the tit? In the tit. If it's going to be little, it should be tit. You should always have a tit one. All right. But I love it. It looks great. No, I think if you made that just like substantially bigger, it would look awesome. Okay, I can do that. I do like the one with the red. It pops. Yeah, yeah. I'd wear that, but I'd wear that. But I'd wear that. I'd wear that. I'd wear it. want the logo to be much bigger. Yeah, let's get that, let's get that going. Yeah, so go over there right now,

Comicwearables.com, click on the bonfire. Oh, you have your own little thing. It's Comicwearables.com, and then also you can get bonfire stuff there too, Jay stuff, Bobby stuff. Ooh, look at those hats. You get a keychain. I need a logo now. Oh, you got Jade.

I forgot that one. What's the one down the bottom? Not Dan. Not Dan. Not Dan. What's that one? Snake pit. There is no snake pit.

That's a good one. So we have March. We do have March. What's the, oh, that's my favorite, the middle one there with the Jacob. What is it called? Jacob and the Boys. Simple Jake and the Boys. I have that shirt.

That's one of my favorite Simple Jake and the Boys. Hey, welcome back to Simple Jake and the Boys. Yeah, I'm going to go. What happened to that? DJ Lou, you have your own page up there, too. You can just go there. Yeah. Look at my stupid face.

What do I have? What was mine? Fuck the check spot? Fuck the checks spot. I got the regs. Fuck the check spot. What is that? I mean.

It means I hate the check spot. I used to wear that on stage because all the clubs I was doing. Oh, that's my, remember that one? On the front it says, you're great. On the back it says not you. From your Jerry Seinfeld story? That's a Jerry Seinfeld story. That's right.

That's right. There you go. All right, so go there. Get his shirt. Get him out of the, save his relationship. Yeah. Oh, there's not enough money coming in. Ask them if you can promote it as much as Lewis promotes body, bring coffee.

For the love of Buddha. I cannot stay here and looking left and right and seeing the same face. Do you want me to tame crowblers like my aunt? She's half black guys. One of you has to wear a fucking a hat or something. One of you must grow hair. Lou, where'd you go for Easter? It says you had a ham party again.

I brought my girlfriend Naila to my sister's house for a ham party. Can she eat ham? Can you eat ham? We made her a chicken just because we knew she didn't. eat ham she can't eat ham she can't she doesn't like the swine yeah for one reason or another she don't like swine yeah refrigeration is the actual biblical answer but that is the problem what because it would make you sick because they couldn't refrigerate because she's black you mean yeah no no no not that i think why it's biblical thing this is what the fucking old chris rock joke used

to be because maybe there's no refrigerators is why people are like pork's evil it'll kill you I was like, yeah, if it goes bad, just leave it out. Where was your party? You went to her family's place? No, my sister's family, yeah. So she met the, yeah, where the ham is. First time being the family? Pretty much, yeah.

What did they do? I'll touch her hair. Yeah. Yeah. Do they ask her to teach them out of dance or belly dance? Did she have little symbols on her thing? She was the only black person there, I could tell you that. What the fuck?

What? That's what it was. She wasn't the only black person there? She was. No, she was. I think she wasn't. I got confused. Like, what's going over there?

It's getting a little dark over at the whiskey's place. Partiers are getting louder every year. More ham and more blacks every year. Starting to be like the Walberg's place. Do you guys see? Speaking of Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy have gone like mega-religious now? Like in the last week, they just decided to do everything. It's like singing, like, religious songs.

Well, maybe it was because of... Talking about their faith. Maybe it's because of Easter. They're going big, though. Yeah. Like, they're like, we're a couple who's turned our lives over to Christ, and you should, it's pretty, pretty wacky. Yeah, it's a weird.

I mean, look, I love the Catholic religion. I think it's the best. Why? Catholic. Just because we, like, holidays are awesome. The food's always, it's all about the food. Our holidays. I don't think so.

Yeah. I think it's about a relationship to a, higher power. Yeah, but we made it about the food. Like Easter is about the meal. Christmas is about the presents and the meal. Like Jewish, no offense. Your Passover, the meal's kind of fucking lech.

I've never thought of Christmas dinner being like the thing. Oh, Christmas dinner's great. I love Christmas dinner. I always makes like a lamb, a lot of food. But all day you eat, chips and dips. You never see a chip at a Passover. That seems more of like a, that's more of a Thanksgiving thing you're described. Thanksgiving's great, but on Christmas is always snacks everywhere.

Well, Italians do the seven fishes. That's a big Christmas Eve dinner, but it always seems like some sort of dinner. Christmas or Christmas Eve. Yeah, Italians do the religious holidays and a big, it's all about the food. Forget about it. Huh? None of you were Italian. I'm Italian.

What you talking about? It seems to suit you. You're Italian. No, I'm fucking, I'm Italian Irish. Robert Patrick. Kellyini Listen My father was a Sicilian, Italian

I mean Irish And absent Well that hurt Yeah That just came out of nowhere That's why you're not Italian You just slap me in the face with a fish A piece of shit

Your dad wasn't around either Right back at you Sure wasn't That's why I'm not Italian at all Christmas dinner They do it at his dad's house With his new family Oh I'm sure there's Christmas dinner

It's a major holiday Just a fantastic dinner His parents work Yeah, my parents work on Christmas. Oh, my God. What did you guys do for Easter? Nothing. We went out to know we did a dinner.

Oh, dinner, yeah. We went to quality meets with Isabella and her sister and her mom and her best friend. And then me and Jay. We wanted to do, we've been trying to do the holidays together. Did you do the holidays with your daughter back in the day? Always. Like Easter and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Easter egg hunt? But Isabella said this year that she wanted to have dinner with everybody. She didn't want to do the Easter hunt this year? No, no. She was over that? No, she wanted to do dinner. with everybody, which was nice. This is the first year we didn't do the Easter egg hunt with Max.

Oh, really? We would have done nothing, I think. We would have done absolutely probably nothing, if not for that. I ate like a fat fuck all day. Don was making snacks all day. She made the stuffed mushrooms. She made, oh, oh, you know what I made. I made, she was making a roast beef.

Filet mignon roast beef, which is like the best. Candy carrots. She made peas, which I think is the most, underrated vegetable. I don't know why we don't eat. I love fucking peas. Peas are great and you never see them anywhere. At restaurants, don't use them.

It's always a green bean, asparagus, a cauliflower, horse shit. You can get a set of peas at a diner. Can't get peas. I get at a restaurant. They don't have peas. Like a steakhouse should have peas. It would look stupid.

I love a pea. I love peas. You don't like peas? I like peas fine. So what is your problem? I'm saying that they should fucking have more. more peas. It'd be silly to have peas on a restaurant. It would not be silly. It's a nice

restaurant. It's a hard food to eat. It's a great, how is it hard? A classy way at a restaurant. It's so easy. It's seven balls on a fork. No, it's not. You get the fucking mashed potatoes, you mush the peas into the potatoes and then they come up easy. Now you're back at a diner. You got to know how to eat a if you do that. If you behave that way at a nice restaurant, they're going to fucking ask you to leave. First of all, a

pee is fucking awesome and they should, my point is they should have it everywhere. But just places where you can mush it into your mashed potatoes and pick it up with the fork. You do whatever you want with a fucking pee. You can get a spoon and eat a pee. You don't need a fork. You look like a maniac.

You start eating peas with a spoon at a nice restaurant. I use a spoon more often than I would use a fork. Why? When I have rice, I use a spoon. Oh, God. You look like an invalid. You get more on a fork. It looks because you're not to be trusted with a fork.

I went to a Chinese restaurant and the Chinese people were using spoons. Everybody else is trying to use chopsticks and a fork to eat their rice. And I look over and they're over there having their lunch break just scooping into rice with their spoon and getting a lot of rice on a spoon. I love a spoon. I'll use a spoon more than I use a fork. I'm going to take you out to a beautiful steak meal

and I want you to exclusively use a spoon and knife. I use a spoon 100% I would do it. I have no problem with. And you know what? You pick the steakhouse? Del Frisco's, of course. Okay. I'll do Keynes actually.

Okay, I've never been Keynes. But then I made yesterday, I made Yorkshire pudding. What's that again? Yorkshire pudding. Yeah, and I'm saying what is Yorkshire pudding? Because we were having a roast beef with the gravy and the baked potatoes and the vegetables and the peas, Yorkshire pudding is like an English thing where it's a, it looks like almost like a puff pastry. There it is right there.

Bobby eats like a Hogwarts student. You really do. So, yeah, I made those with the roast beef meal. So good. So good. And you put a little of the beef juice on the bottom of the tray before you put the batter in. And it absorbs the beef juice into the actual. So the bottom is kind of almost like French toasty.

And then the top is flaky and nice. And then you pour the gravy all over it. It's almost like an English biscuit almost type of thing. Sure. Like a... Did you... But you can't... You had your meat first.

No, you have your meat with it. You put that on the plate. Bobby, I mean... I'm not here to teach you about English culture, I guess, but you can't have any pudding until after you eat your meat. No. You eat your meat with your pudding. No?

Yes. No. You're not going to graduate this weird school. if you keep saying something like that. You can't have any pudding until you eat your meat. You. Yes, you. And it took me all day.

Are you listening? I hear it. You can't have a pudding. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

You can't have any pudding. You put it right on the plate with the meat. And you're going to spoil your son because this kid's just having pudding before he has his meat. And I'm just worried about his future. You eat the pudding with the meat. That's not true. I'm just going to take your word for it when it's written in history books

That's just one song You put the pudding the Yorkshire pudding on the plate A fan of mine I told Don yesterday I said I want to do Yorkshire pudding She said I'm not making that I don't know how to make it And then a fan of mine had sent me a British cookbook

And it was in the fucking cookbook So I was like I'll make it Fuck it So me and Max made Yorkshire pudding You gotta make the batter Then you gotta let it rest for four hours and then you put it in the oven it takes 20 minutes and then it comes out and you got to eat it

right with the with the meal put it right on the plate little gravy in the little hole it makes man we live different home lives we live different very different home lives yeah i live a i live an american dream maybe and you live uh you live a rock and roll life no there you do i don't know for dinner dude oh yeah yeah for sure that's a rock and roll life I cooked. I made Yorkshire pudding. I mean, I was the only one who ate it. Nobody else liked it.

And I had to throw out 12 Yorkshire puddings at the end of the meal, which bummed me out really bad. It wasn't good Yorkshire pudding. Don hated it. She thought it was stupid. Didn't like it. Max took a bite out of his head. I've never said that about a food where I've said,

do you like it? I don't like it. I don't like it. It's stupid. That's a weird critique of food. Max actually put syrup on it. He goes, it tastes like French toast. Yeah.

And he had one, half of one, and then he didn't eat the rest of it. You let him put syrup on it? And I had two. I wanted three, but my baby's stomach wouldn't allow. Did he still eat his meat? He ate all his meat. He ate a little bit of his Yorkshire pudding. Yeah.

Well, because he was full on meat because probably properly, he didn't have any pudding until after he finished his meat. Hey. Doesn't that look good, though, Yorkshire pudding? No. Come on, dude. With a roast beef dinner? It looks like a puff pastry.

I'm sure it's good. I mean, the picture of it just looks like pastry. It looks like dough. It's like dough. It's like, but the bottom of it has like the meat juice, absorbs all the meat juice. When I was picturing when you said it, but I know what I'm thinking of now is Beef Wellington. You said Yorkshire put him in me, is that like, that's beef? That's my next thing I'm going to make.

I heard it's really hard to make. Yeah, I know. I don't know why, but it says it's very hard to make. Yeah, I've always, I've never had it and I've always wanted Beef Wellington. I think I want it because it looks like a completely lean piece of meat, but I know I'll cut into it and it'll be all fatty and shit. Well, what's around the edge, do you know what's around the edge? Pepper. No.

It's mushrooms. It's mushrooms. Sure. And then you gravy that. That's why I like an English meal. They put a bunch of gravy on it. Why don't you move with Ari to London? I was thinking about it.

Either that or I was going to move to Austin with Joe. Can you look, can you make a beef Wellington? Christine, if you wouldn't mind? Can you make a Beef Wellington with ground beef? No. That's just not a beef well. No. It's ground beef Wellington.

I mean, you could say chicken be chicken Wellington if you want to. Budget friendly ground beef Wellington. Yeah, poor man's Wellington. Yeah, it's a poor man's Wellington. But what if it's poor man's because I don't want to see if that other meat doesn't become good? What kind of meat do you put in beef Wellington? Filet mignon. Yeah, it's like a filet roast beef, but filet mignon roast beef.

How big is a filet mignon? Big. You get the whole line. They cut it up. Like this big? Yeah, they cut it up. filet mignon's it's a whole beef tenderloin which i guess yeah they chop into yeah a filet mignon is the tenderloin and they just make it little small they're cooking that whole loin oh i would do that yeah you roll that

so good that's what we had yesterday we had chteau briand we had that right there yesterday except just cooked like a roast beef in a slow cooker no she cooked in the open in a pan in a pan now you say like a roast beef what is it what happens different there same thing is just tender it's better it's better cut. How do you cut it though? Slice it like a roast beef. Just straight down the just like you wouldn't make flaminions almost. No, you cooked the whole thing like a roast

beef and then you slice it like a roast beef, like a roast beef dinner. You'd like this, Jay, because there's zero fat and sine you on this. Yeah. I would like that. Yeah. Bobby, make me a beef well. I'll have it done by Tuesday. Thank you. I want

that olive top of knot on the outside. That pastry better be good. Beed Lankan does always look good to me, but I've never even seen a place where it's available. Yeah, there's an English restaurant in Malkisco, where the English store I go to is now. What's that? What are you going to...

What are you going to buy a fucking windmill parts? That's Netherlands. Sorry. It's all right. The Netherlands are windmills. Okay. Well, they have all... Do you buy a confusingly numbered license plate?

They have, well, they have less. numbers. I mean more numbers. Right. And they're bigger license plates. Well, they have books. They have everything British. You get books. You can get all the candies from Britain, which is, it's all made with real sugar. There's no corn fructose or all that bullshit they put in our Hershey bars and all that shit. You get that from Canada. You can get it from Canada, but they get it, they do the same thing. It's from England. England is the one who made Cadbury. So that, it's all Cadbury chocolate. So all, even the gummies and all that stuff is like just a hundred times better. But they also have like sausage pies, sausage sticks they have.

They have the little pies, the meat pies, all the stuff you can buy there in the English people. But down the street, they actually have an English pub where they have Sunday dinner, which is what we had yesterday is it's roast beef. I think they might, every once we don't have beef Wellington, maybe. and they have the potatoes, the peas, and the Yorkshire pudding, and then they have fish. They have an original English fish fry,

which is awesome. Yeah, look at that. Bobby, I just had another thought. Look at the potatoes. Did Black Dally die because a bunch of white guys took him and made him eat a lot one night, fattened them up, and then hunted him the next day

until they killed him on ATVs with crossbows? No, that's not how he died. That would have been a better day. death, but yes. It's not a better death. I'm still thinking. You're close. You're very close. I feel like I'm right there. You're right near there. I think I've never been warmer than with that guess. No, that was very close.

He was being chased by a bunch of white guys. I saw a body cam thing today that they released this thing of a guy. A cop getting hit. He's a motorcycle cop. He got hit by a fucking truck. Oh. Like a ram truck? He was like,

he was sitting on the bike. Like, the car turned around and just came at him and he tried to jump out of the way last second, but he got hit got thrown 153 feet through the woods into the creek busted up his whole body and everything in under five minutes he was already flipped over going like what happened oh my legs are killing me he's just like alert like that's fucking crazy yeah those videos

had to get half of his leg amputated uh it's like an insane thing but he was on the ground going like I did damn I don't even remember that it was so wild I watched a couple of those motorcycle videos where the motorcycle's coming and the car just hits him and they go just flying in the air. Yeah, this guy went 150 feet.

Luckily, didn't hit any trees and dense woods on the way to the creek. How wild was that? He didn't hit any trees. I thought you'd hit a tree and survive like Rambo. No, this would not be a tree breaking your fault. This would be you being flung into a tree. Oh, God.

Why was this? They don't show the impact. Oh, they don't? Oh, so you probably could find it. God, damn. if you just get to where he's at. Was this guy trying to hit him? It looked like he was trying.

It looks like it. It looks like he was trying. By the way, to give you the rap on the story, the guy who hit him, could have been more of a normal just looking white dude, just shorts and a t-shirt. He was on a high-speed chase for a long time and then ended up drilling this fucking cup. He posted a 900,000-something-dollar bail and went to concerts and partied and hung out. I was watching the other. I was like, what?

This guy's just chilling. He goes, then he went to court and just pled guilty, like, blindly. Like, I'll accept whatever the thing is. 25 years and then parole for life. Oh, wow. Wow. So he meant to hit this. I mean, it looks like he drove right into.

And this guy, this guy got hit into a creek, which sucks. I'd be just afraid of snakes. He's face down, you hear the noises he's making. He's going, and then 10 minutes later, he's like, I think my legs are broken. You hear those noises coming out of him? Yeah. Sounds like me sleeping. Yeah

He's out We'll get later on when they flip him over And he's like, I did No way Gnarly This is your YouTube YouTube algorithm that brings you this? You know that

You know that Come on Mine's British dishes He's just talking He's cut Oh he's a lot He's done He's done

No he's aware This sucks that he had to get his shirt taken off, though. It's my biggest fear. And his pants. Oh, God, my biggest fear. Well, they left his Duluth trading company underwear on. Oh, my God. His guts out.

Oh, yeah, dude, it does. It is better. If you're in a tragic accident where people have to gather around your almost naked body, it is so much better to be in shape. He has his tribal tattoo on his shoulder, that big mistake he got. I don't understand why did he do this, Chase? He was just... He was one of the cops involved in chasing this truck.

Oh, that's the cop. Not the guy. That's the cop. So he thought he would just stop his motorcycle? No, the cop. You didn't see it? The cop was on his motorcycle, and the truck came right on him. He tried to try to jump off his motorcycle, but it just drills.

I didn't see it. So he stopped his motorcycle thinking he would stop the guy from going somewhere? Why would you? He was chasing the guy. And got in front of him. The guy got turned around. The guy, they kept tapping him with cars, with cop cars. His truck?

Yeah. I figure what they call that, pinning or something like that. but they try to like hit his and one of them they turned him around so he just turned around and started driving the other way and that cop was just in the middle of the road like as part of the chase and then now the car was coming right go back you can go back and see where you think you probably find the actual like body cam of the actual thing the footage of it but like uh oh he's just in a drew play this like him he's in a dried up creek bed naked yeah this sucks it's pretty bad but yeah that's my biggest fear is an accident and then they have to cut

all my clothes off in public. Oh yeah, it's a nightmare. And you're just lying there, and you can feel them jiggling my side fat. So here goes, the pit attempt they do, they turn them around. That turnaround, he just starts going, he gets turned around, he starts going the other way.

There's the cop on the motorcycle. And he's just flying. Why does he get off his bike? No, he gets off his bike because he realize he can't get out of the way fast enough. Oh, oh my God. Crazy, right? but the fact that he's like 10 minutes later is kind of like oh man my legs are broke huh

we watched that other one didn't we watch it on here one time where the guy was like uh the cop was like all fucked up like he got hit by a car too i think or he got dragged by the car against the wall and his legs were just completely destroyed and he was still like trying to be the boss he's like all right we got to make a perimeter of him they're like they're like cap your legs are missing he's like well i'm still the boss of this outfit it's really great Crazy. God bless him. And Bobby, you also have to reveal... Stories of a California Highway Patrol.

How Dallas dies. No, he's got more guesses. I'm still guessing. Sure, sure, sure. He's still guessing. Curiously, a white family's household pet, a very loving dog that has been sweet to everybody in the world, for some reason attacked Dally when he came in the house.

No. Oh, man. I thought I nailed that. Great guess, though. To find out that a dog was racist. Yeah, we've had a couple of those in my life. So this is the Outsiders the Musical. This is the Outsiders the musical.

Dally was the... Oh, was it a tragic dancing accident? No, no. Almost, though. Okay, all right. We're getting so close. There was a dance, a lot of dance, and there was a dance to his death. I can't believe you cried at a show involving dance.

I tried twice. Because of the dance. I teared up. I wouldn't say, cry, not a rudy cry, but a definite tear up where I had to wipe some tears out of my eye. The pony, when

Johnny died and that song that pony boy sang. Oh my God, what? That was a tough one. And I think I cried at Dallie's. What is it? Dally's last song. Very sad.

Does he die in the fire? They do a reenact like a musical fire? No, they did musical fire with a sheet. Everyone's on fire When they had to go Fire When they had to save the kids

You had to go in and save the kids from the church And that's a weird thing too The kids wound up in this church And it just caught on fire But then I was like Well they didn't explain it And then they did Point it was like

I put that cigarette out I guess he just lit up my cigarette I should have put that cigarette out Hey hey you gotta put that cigarette out Sham sham sham you got to put that cigarette Johnny looked like James like Lewis's kid looked exactly I mean exactly like him yeah gay actor types always

looks sort of like well all right you said it not me but uh yeah he came out they did him it was it was pretty it was a really good well-produced from head to toe shats about that I don't think he's going to make it yeah I cried when I know when I cried when they gave pony boy the letter when when Cherry came up with Johnny Boy's clothes from the hospital, and there was a letter inside from Johnny that he had the nurse right, and he read the letter. So it is what it is, home boy? Nope, that's not what he said. Oh.

Don't hate to play, hate the game? No. You sing the letter, or is there any dialogue that's spoken? There's dialogue in between the songs. There was dialogue. They go, are you guys ready for this to get gayer? Chasmataz and a flippity fly. can't help but dance gay in a musical.

I can. All the dancing is, is, like, you don't know who, who's gay and who's not gay in the play. And it's all guys. It's all, you know, pretty big guys. You don't know who's gay or not? Yeah. All of that.

Well, this can't be. One hundred percent of them. There has to be one. Is that what you tell yourself? Does that make you feel good? Well, there was one gay guy on the stage, or one not gay guy on the stage. Now, they're all gay, 100% of them.

No, that's not my cast. That's not my cast. It's just the dance moves, you'll see. They don't have your cast filmed. Yeah, see now all the stuff, every time they kick like that, that the tire stuff goes into the crowd. See all that stuff?

And they, I think they intentionally kick it in your face. This would be living hell free. Great expectations. That was a tough one, too. Almost got me on that. I've never felt love for family enough to sit through this with them. How long was this? When you help a guy, it had intermission.

It was two hours. Oh, you should have moved. You should just move out. Anytime a woman says she wants to go to a Broadway show, it's a musical. The fact that she roped you in, Bobby, by saying, she thinks it's a dialogue thing, and she knew it was a musical, is grounds to leave. You see how they made, look at the, here's the rain part right here. This is where you got wet. Creecers and the Soches and a random black girl.

And that's the random black girl. She's the same girl. But the actual fight scene was pretty good the way they did it. What era is this? They did it. No, it wasn't, Bobby. It wasn't a good fight scene. It was dancing.

It was like West Side Story. But they did it with the music. Yes. And each punch, they kind of went into slow-mo. They did the whole fight scene. The first part of the fight scene, look at me, Jay. Look at me. The first part of the fight scene was like a regular fight,

but the second part was slow-mo. So every punch, it would go slow-mo to regular speed, slow-mo to regular. So it was really, yeah, like this, right here. And this is the Soches and the greasers. Watch. It's choreographed. Everyone's dancing the exact same way.

So bad. It's so weird. Bobby. Watch this, though. This is homoerotic. A little bit. These guys all have boners. Bobby.

There's no masculinity. Right there, right there. Look at that. We're a couple of toughies. Now they're all getting beat up. The black woman in the show is Cherry Vance? No. She's Diane Lane.

They didn't go that far. So who's Diane Lane? Darrell wouldn't accept that. I don't know. I don't know. Cherry Lane was a red-headed girl. I don't know if she was pretty. This is bad, Bobby.

You could sneak a peek up the skirts, though. I'll tell you that. This is bad. You know, we're going to go see the Lost Boys one. going to go it's really really awesome we're going to be ridiculous well I thought this was going to be a dialogue play I didn't know it was a musical

you wanted to believe that well I did musical last year it was I'm telling you I was mad from the get go when the opening thing was this song with pony boy I was like fuck and then when they kicked rubber tire chunks in my face I was like

what the fuck dawn but eventually they got you back with they got me they got me back with the with a couple of of those songs and a couple. Here's how they ended it, though. It was very anticlimactic because they all come out at the end.

Cherry comes out at the end and she gives a whole thing where they want donations forades. And they want, you know, they're like, hey, hey, sorry to keep you here for a few more minutes, but I'm going to make this whole speech about we're going to do

we're going to give a cast poster all signed for $150 bucks. You get a one of the things called the flyers that you get with the thing. What is that called? I'm straight, I don't know. What's it called, Christine?

The play bill? The play bill. There you go. You can't put this on me, Bobby. I was just, I was just, I was going to go anywhere. He goes, oh, this guy knew what the play bill was. That's scary. And then you get a signed playbill.

Oh, my God. I bet you and Max and Dawn waited outside for the cast afterwards. No, no. We left. You did. Max was like, all right, let's go give. He was like, I'm, hungry. Max flew flowers at Dally.

Max was eating his sour patch kids. Bravo! Bravo! Yeah. Give me a little their Tony performance. I think this is the song that might have got me. Bobby, your night was sponsored by PrEP. This is not him. They've already flipped the castes, so I guess it's two years ago. No, Bobby saw a matinee.

Oh. It's understudies. Their wigs suck. This is awful. Bobby, this is terrible. Hang on, just let it see if it hit you. Okay. Oh my God. By the way, this one is teeming with ethics. Yeah, this one is not.

This is not. This one is, now this isn't the song that got me. Man. See the floor? What a better 1960s this is. They always have tufts like twiddling their legs in the air. It's so bad. Tuffs are always shaking their legs.

That's how toughs let you know they're tough. See the floor? all the shit getting kicked up, they kept kicking that into your face. All their little rubber? Yeah, all the rubber, they just kick it right in your face. This is so bad. Here's the thing, it's, again,

this got you, this was, to be a thing, the Lost Boys is going in tongue and cheek. It knows it's making something silly. I have to assume that. This is taking something that's got like a base audience that's not into this and fucking whipping it out there. This is exclusively for gay people

because how it's supposed to hit you, it didn't hit you this way, but it's supposed to hit you is like, why are they fucking fruiting up unnecessarily this thing that doesn't need to be? Like make the play. There's a stage play for sure, able to be, and you can make a really cool, intense play.

I thought it was going to be that. I thought it was going to be more like Bronx Tale, like a dialogue-driven play. Right. And I got to, I'm just being honest. You're happy it wasn't? No, I'm not happy it wasn't. I would love to see the outsiders play. I'm just being honest. It got me. You didn't see any signs that were like best musical, 2024?

I didn't do any of that. Like even when you like walked in. Yeah, you didn't say any of that. I'm sure it's up. If it wasn't best musical, it's definitely. I didn't say any of that. I asked Don, I go, it's like a dialogue thing, right? It's not a, it's not a synced song. And then when she blindfolded you till you got to your seat? She said, Bobby.

She literally said, I think it's dialogue. and I was like, great. And then the first song, I looked at her with disdain, like you bitch. I'm going to throw this around a little bit more to people. I'm going to throw us around a little bit more to some people over the course of the week, Bobby. Because I would have to be honest with you. I'm starting to feel like you're trying to get ahead of news on you. You can call her up.

No, I don't need to call Dawn. I'm trying to get a hold of news on. I'm trying to get ahead of news on you. Something's not mathing with the, I didn't know until they came out and started to sing a song that it was in a new. You know why? Go ahead. Yes, Jacob. Because I.

I went with the Kelly's to the play via Instagram. He videotapes them walking up to the, and showing the sign saying the outsiders. The musical. Yeah, well, I mean, you see the sign. We'll call it right now. Even your phone doesn't want you to look like a liar. I'm going to call it right now.

I know you did. We'll just get to the bottom of this. You turned your phone off. We'll get to it. Because you guys don't believe me about anything, especially you. Dawn? Yes.

You're on the air. Why now? Well, all right. I could ask. Can I ask? Yeah, you can ask. Go ahead, Jay. Dawn, Bobby says that you guys have a,

you guys had an amazing time at the theater this weekend. We did. It sounded fantastic. What Bobby is saying, though, and it's just not computing to me, is that he didn't know this was a musical until the curtains opened and somebody started singing. Now, that would mean he walked past 50 signs, billboards, the lobby and everything. everything where it says outsiders the musical he videotaped the marquee he videotaped the marquis that says the musical doesn't say the music and i think bobby's trying to protect himself don did you

did it say musical no it doesn't it does it does not say the music it says bond it says the uh it doesn't matter post when they win if you invest musical it goes up forever the musical it just said the outsider on the outside of the outside's a new musical no yes it's what it says on everything not on the outside What's the best musical? No, on the outside, you're saying, show the outside. Yeah, the outside's a new musical. Right there.

Right there. Right there where it says the outsider is a new musical? That's the sign. It's branding. Very small letters. It's written in the same font. Don, don't listen to me, Don. He wanted to do you.

Did I ask you if it was a dialogue or a musical? And you said what? You didn't ask me. I asked you that. Based on the book by S.E. Hinton. Ask me if it was a dialogue or a musical? I said, I just said,

we're going to see the outsider. But I said it's not a musical. He said, you assured him it's dialogue-driven and not a musical. You said, that was not, that was not a question

that you asked me. You're lying, Bobby. Don, when the guy started singing the song, what did I do? Cry. He started crying. You cried twice as what you did.

In front of your boy. Don. Don. What was he? Don. Don, when I, think I,

Dawn still has some Boston left and there's a tough and max up. Don. When he started singing the first song, what did I do? You put your hand up, let her fucking answer. What?

You looked at me like it's got to be one of those. And I was fucking mad, right? Yeah, but then you got right into it. All right, settle down. I didn't answer the questions you're asked, okay? He cried twice. First of all, I didn't get right into it. Don't act like as soon as he started singing,

I was fucking clapping along. Pretty quickly. You loved to buy the end. You knew all the words. You wanted to buy the soundtrack. I got to go. Oh, my God. Fuck her.

You thought about buying afterwards merch and we were going to get the soundtrack. That's some fucking bullshit. Why'd you hang up on her so quick? Because she's lying. She's trying to be part of the fucking the slam. We're trying to find where it doesn't say a new musical. By the way, it says the best musical.

Huge. Underneath of it. You do not win the Tony for Best Musical and not absolutely. Advertise that as big as possible. I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I mean, look alive, Bobby. I didn't see it.

Bobby, the only word that said twice on all of the fucking branding on the front of the building is musical. The outside is a new musical, which is the Tony Award winner for Best Musical. I didn't see it. The word the is used less. We will be back tomorrow. We have to go. Thank God. Are you going to guess?

Dally died. I got some more ideas tomorrow. I'll come back tomorrow. You guys have any ideas? Please send the bed. Poison chicken. All right. Wait,

what kind of chicken? Fried. Okay, no. Big Joke is going to be at the funny bone in Orlando this weekend. April 10th and the 11th. After that, he'll be in Nashville for Story Wars. Then he's going to headline Kansas City for tickets and all the tour dates.

Big Jad Comedy.com. and YouTube.com slash at Big J. Okerson for his videos, his live shows, and his special. And Bobby Kelly is going to be a comics roadhouse in Connecticut, April 17th, and 18th. After that, Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey, Cleveland, Ohio, Stanford, New Orleans, all on deck and so much more for tickets to all of his dates. Go to punchup.com. Make sure you check out his YouTube at Robert Kelly Comedy. And, of course, 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussy Cat every Tuesday night in New York City.

My one-man musical. Oh, I'm switching it up. It's called the six fat. It opens up with me going, I was a thin boy. And then I was fat, and then thin again and fat again. Six times in my life. Six times? How can you do that?

With perseverance. We'll see you guys tomorrow.