The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Devil's Eyes (feat. Jim Norton)

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

The great Jim Norton joins the Bonfire for the first time and talks about suburban devil-worship, canceling comics, and the Comedy Cellar table.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. O'Kersen. We're actually a full radio show on Serious XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Serious XM app. Go to seriesxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now the bonfire with Big J. O'Kersen and Robert Kelly. I'm very excited. I'm very excited.

We got Mr. Norton in studio right now. Welcome back to the bonfire. Stop it. Look who came in right in the middle of a good topic. I didn't know where studio three was. I have no idea. I thought you were in the studio that we do in the morning.

No, we don't have that one. This is the bonfire. They put us in a closet. Yeah, we're in a closet. They hate us until LL Cool J. Until LL Cool J decides he wants to be in here. Did you hear what he said? I've been there.

God damn it. What's up, buddy? How you doing? Jim Norton, everybody. Jim Norton. We're supposed to have Jim Norton and his beautiful wife, Nikki, on today, but she's been sick for a week and apologize.

She had to cancel. She was supposed to do Karen yesterday by herself. And she hasn't left the house in a week. She all right? Yeah, yeah, just a bad, bad cough Okay, which I'm sure I'm gonna get another to go do gigs. That's great Jim's on tour actually dates coming up in California in Petaluma Santa Cruz Monterey After that Austin, Texas the comedy mothership Oklahoma City Dallas and Houston for tickets and all tour dates go to Jim Norton.com Thanks for hanging out with us, but of course we were just about... You got your new podcast too. What's it called? Oh it's just a sword fight. What? Sword fight. It's called sword fight? It's called sword fight.

Yeah we just named it. That's a great name. It's not really a fight. No it's not. A sword beat down. Yeah it's like sword swallower.. It's like Jacob having a thumb wrestling with Andre the Giant. Yeah, we just named it. We were trying to figure out a name. We just came up with sword fight. Sword fight, all right. We were discussing briefly the thing,

you know what happened with Louis Dave Florentine. That club in Seattle, yeah, Nome interviewed. Yeah, that's what we're talking about, the Noam interview. And I was saying like, Noam, really like, I was impressed with his take on it for sure. He did a good job, I think. Those two have no idea what they're doing.

And what Bobby was just saying when they came in and you're right, that Noam called them on. Like, that's a weird control thing there of letting an audience get. If you'll bring in your audience, it shouldn't matter. Like the people who don't like that don't have to come. The fact that they're dictating, and that's what Noam called out, like you're saying I wouldn't come see these guys, but you shouldn't even have them there for the

people who want to see them. That's what's crazy. Well the thing that he called them out too, he was like, well we have, you have gay night or gay, you know, whatever. Queers to the front. He goes, that's not gonna sell. You're not gonna make money on that. He goes, you can't just have all gay people on a show. You should have the funniest gay people on a show. He should, you should be wearing about the funniest people,

not just having a night of these people so that the neighborhood will think you're cool. I'll tell you what. 25 minutes of prep jokes, who knows. I'll tell you what. Well, I went to the day early to stand up live in Phoenix and the night before I was there, it was a drag show. And I will tell you, if they would have just done four more drag shows and canceled my weekend,

they would have done fan past. Oh, like mobbed, right? Yeah. Get rid of mods. You just turned that into a drag club. When you do comics on Saturday night, Friday night, no Friday, I think Friday night. They only do one show and they have a drag karaoke.

I think after your show. Wait, where's this? It's a comic road house. Comic road. You know, Mohegan Son. Oh, okay. And they're waiting outside that dressing room and they hate, I mean, I'm so,

hey, I think I said, hey guys once hate, I mean, I'm so, hey, I think I said, hey guys, once by accident. Yeah. I was like, hey guys, and I was like, dude, it's girls. I think it's always something different, because I've done that when it's just male strippers also. Yeah, what do you call it? Drag is, drag, so they're men in dresses.

So you can say dude? Yeah, well they are, I mean, they're men. They're not women, they're not, they're not living as women, they're men who are drag queens. Did you have to learn everything about that world? No. I mean, you learn by osmosis, but she's not picky. Like Nikki's not a fucking, she's not a scolder.

She doesn't get upset at people. She doesn't care if people make jokes. So no, there was never any pressure. There was no pressure to have to, like the community. Now here's you using the wrong thing. Well, I'll tell you what, when you throw a couple wrinkles in it though. I can get dice. There was a girl at that drag show I call her girl because she's pre-op Trans

She you got it biological woman. She's come on Jay dressing you got it underneath like a man Come on, Jay. Dressing. You got it. Underneath like a man. Come on. Dressing as a woman. So it's a woman. Yeah.

It's a woman dressed like a woman. A trans man doing a drug show. Yes, but she's not. Yeah, she's like in the process of I guess transitioning. So it was just like a weird like, so it, cause I was like, that's a really like girly looking guy. And they go, it's a girl.

I go, but what about the beard? It's like, yes, she gets the beard. So she looks masculine doing, putting on a girl dress. It's very, it was so many things. It's a real girl. It's a biological one. But does she want to be a woman or she transitioning to a guy?

She transitioning to a guy. Okay, yes, you call it trans, you call it a trans man, trans man. You know what I say, you know what I call it? Boo. You like the other direction. Boo, don't we other direction. Boo. Don't we all, Bobo.

Don't we all. Don't we all have a chick of a jiner on that precious stage? Fuck it, asshole. Yeah, what are you doing? Wrecking the vibe up there. Yeah, stop wrecking. With that whistle going through. Yeah, I don't want it.

I'm not meandering out around the fucking club all night to see if you're popping out to play maybe a slot machine 12 at night. It is funny on this thing though that Florentine really just caught shrapnel though. David Lewis are on you know the most offensive podcast and Kurt I mean obviously came out on guns blazes. Florentine's just not bothering anybody. He just got caught up in it because he did a puppet in 2006. I got a one man show about my dead wife. I'm sorry.

Yeah, come on, the puppet was dumb. Yeah. I did a retarded puppet, so what? So what? So what? It was a problem. But I almost felt like my wife cheated me on a younger cop. I got problems.

I hated what they did, but when you heard those two, they're just like the women said we're in over our heads We're new comics They're just in that thing where they have no confidence as comedians or club owners I mean you shouldn't but like they're getting shit the problem is all the people giving them shit like I Almost didn't hate those two The guy should have just said and no I'm told them dude. It's your club Yeah, book over the fuck you want and then cancel whatever you want

I didn't know him, told him, dude, it's your club. Book over the fuck you want and then cancel whatever you want. Don't put it out there like the world is coming at us and we just want to make everybody happy. That guy didn't want Lewis, didn't want Lewis and then associated the other three and then Kurt, they had a douche, Kurt too, because it's under Tommy, they're on the same management. Tom, is it Nietzsche or Nikki?

I've heard both. Oh yeah, Nietzsche would be a lot smarter. Tom and Nikki. But he, yeah, that's what it is. Just should have owned it instead of putting it out there and trying to sneak it past. Like, sorry guys. Yeah, they panicked.

They fucking panicked. They got some shit and they completely panicked and they collapsed. They don't know how to say go fuck yourself. No one has the comedy cellar. So it's easier when you're the comedy cellar. No, which I think he acknowledges too, but I just think that's the idea of it would have been,

because their thing is like the fear of like moving forward. And it's like, when they said like, a lot of comics have already said like, cause they're like Michael Rappaport, I guess, did Portland Helium, and like, and now a bunch of comics and producers will not work that club. And they're like, that's just not true.

Yeah, but who gives a shit? But it's also just not, but the people you're talking about, you're talking about local like, there's no touring comic to be like, Michael Rappford. Yeah, no, we don't give a fuck. I couldn't give two kids. I'm worried about selling my own tickets.

I don't give a fuck who was there. No one care. I would literally do 20 minutes as Hitler was leaving the building. I could care less. You know what I used to say back in the day? He goes, I didn't book him. I didn't book him.

I disagree with someone who said, sure. I used to say, talent isn't afraid of talent. That's a great way to phrase it, Bob. Thank you. Thank you, Jimmy. Great way to phrase it. Thank you, Jimbo. I didn't even know they were comics.

The two of them are comics also. No. Yeah, they're like new comedians. They're just in this world. They're trying to do it. And they didn't say anything funny in that conversation. No, I would say it was not a humor filled discussion. When that guy kept saying, I strongly disagree.

Oh, that's. Or respectfully. I respectfully. With known. Just say you disagree. I hate that. Were they a couple? Don't know.

I'm gonna guess so. Because Christ Almighty, good job, dude. Yeah, she's hot. She's actually, yeah, yeah, She's definitely out of his league. But then again, who knows? He might have that quiet fucking leftist confidence, just a big fucking liberal dick he swings around. Yeah, a thick, he definitely thick.

Yeah, beer can't thick. Definitely thick, but like too veiny. Yeah, she gets wet because guys read. What do they call that when you're attracted to someone because of their intellect? There is a term for that where people like the intellect and I forget what it's called. You're attracted to someone because they're intellect. There is a term for that where people like the intellect and I forget what it's called. You're talking to two guys who- Oh, beaten wives. You're talking to two guys who've never had that problem. I never have either.

Christine's not with him for the intellect. What? That's the first thing you said is he goes, Jay is learned. I'm learned? He's read. He's well read. It's sabiosexual. That's it. Sabio sexual. Yeah. Um, yeah, I felt, I kind of felt bad for them to be honest with you cause they tried to just get out of it a situation they were in and then, you know,

they want to run around. I want to felt worse if they were lighter, hearted about it in the conversation. They're like, they're so frazzled by the whole thing. Yeah. But here's the thing. They went downstairs and guess who was on stage. They're all excited about it to go see. Kurt. Yeah, but here's the thing, they went downstairs and guess who was on stage? They were all excited about it to go see. Kurt. No, Andrew Schultz.

Oh, really? Yeah, Andrew's on. It's like, look. Is that for real? I mean, Andrew Schultz goes, I mean, definitely says things that. Oh, God, I watched a clip of him last night. He's really topical and really funny.

He was talking about the meek, male, being gay thing, which he's not, but Shultz had like fucking a minute and a half, two minutes on it that was like legitimately fucking hilarious. Yeah, Shultz is funny. Yeah, he's a really good commentator. I really think so. And, yeah, I mean.

You know what, in my phone she was hotter. I like a chick with a big nose. I like a nice schnauz. Yeah, it's like a Marshall shirt. That's yeah, they can tongue your back and give the fucking heiny a little two-can Sam. They go, Jay, they go, Jay, your girlfriend's hot and you go, well, look at her from a profile, but I'm telling you, it's not bad. You get her straight on, dude. Yeah, she's hot, she's hot. She's got big, long fingers.

Yeah, now she looks like Elon Gold. Yeah. Yeah, she's cute. But yeah, I think they just got it over their heads. And I don't just, I don't like their politics or their fucking shitty belief system, but I think they just panicked. They flew themselves in. Yeah. And put themselves up to go on Noam's podcast.

Yeah, there's Noam went through the same thing with Louie, believe it or not. They went after him big time with Louie. Sure. And he had to defend himself. And they lied. The lady from the Times lied. I mean, he was getting emails and all that shit.

And then it happened with Chappelle too, having him at the club. And he had to stick up for them. And there was a point. Those, by the way, are slightly easier stick ups than Louis D. Yes, not Louis, not Louis. I don't think Louis is at all.

At that time. At that time. No, it was like, I remember one time, people were protesting Jim Florentine and I said, it all costs. That man will work here. At all costs. But yeah, no, Louis at that time was fucking kryptonite to a club. Yeah. His manager, his a everybody in his life, girlfriend, the, the, the, the studio that was, I mean, had three shows of his on air making money. His girlfriend dropped him.

Dude, I went to FX. Did that really happen? Pam, everybody. Really? Oh, the one on the show he was dating her. I went to FX, I think that month to pitch a show and they had, when you went, you go to FX, it was all the shows, wallpaper, it was all,

they was ripped off. Everything Louis was gone from everywhere. Isn't that crazy when they try to erase a person, what they did in a network? Like when they take you off like you were never there. They try to do a Hulk Hogan in wrestling once. The man is ultimately synonymous more than anyone with wrestling.

He goes, let's just pretend that never happened. He said the N word the one time, right? And they were like, let's make it like he was never here. I think they put it back in the ring. Oh, never here. And I think they put it in the ring. Oh, they put it. No, they put it all back in on the phone because it's nonsense to take him out. Of course. He's supposed to say it.

Big, giant Hulk dick when he was having sex with Bubba's wife and that fucking. Oh, yeah. Dick was. Yeah. If you have a dick, if you have a dick that long and thick, you should be able to say whatever racial things you want. Whatever you want. You can say to the rock in the ring. See your South Florida trash. We get it.

Can you smell what I'm cooking? Yeah, I can. Yeah. You fat dick idiot. We have a movie that was about to premiere. Did that ever even come out at all? He bought it back. I think Louis bought it back.

Me and Voss were in it. The black and white movie? Yeah, we went out. He put us both in it as paparazzi, and we both went into the trailer and it was, this lady had, I mean she had so many cool clothes. I came out of there like this French paparazzi, I had a cape and these fancy designer clothes and we had this, I mean I looked, I was like, oh my God, this is beautiful. And then I get into the van and it's Malcovich in the front seat and the Chloe girl in the back

and the other star, Chloe Spengie. And noise, no Grace Moretz, the- That's it, yeah. Oh, and John Malcovich turns around and he goes, hello, I'm John. And I was like, John, how you doing? I'm such a big fan. I'm like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing.

You're supposed to say I'm Robert Kelly. Yeah, and I didn't. I just said I'm a big fan. You're not a big fan. I'm like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing. You're supposed to say I'm Robert Kelly. Yeah, and I didn't. I just said I'm a big fan. You're not a big fan. No me is that. All of a sudden, I hear on the window, Robert, Robert, I'm like, yeah, what's up? Yeah, Louis doesn't like your outfit.

He wants you to look shitty. He wants you to look more crappy. You should look crap. You're paparazzi. He needs you to come. And I go, but I'm in the van with John. And she goes, yeah, but you got to come now and get a different wardrobe. I'm like, can you bring it to the set? No, you have to. They ripped me out of the van with John Malkovich. No, no, because then they

put John on a like a $50 million yacht. Louis was on another yacht with the other camera. And I was on a fucking dingy with Voss for five hours in the middle of the Long Island sound not wrong with that it was the worst like a lovely time buddy I was the son they didn't mean I boss is the only person you could be in a boat with still getting as wet as if you were in the water from all of his slobbers stop talking when you're going down. We're going down. Is there a leak in this thing or is boss ranting? Give me the boss bucket. Dude, dude, they dressed as like assholes.

Dude, we look like fucking idiots. And I had to wrap my jacket around my head because the sun. It was like not a cloud in the sky for four hours. And I'm dying. So me and Voss hit his arm over the dinghy. And there was a guy driving our boat and we had to take pictures of you know the that's our job and so the guy had the walkie-talkie and me and Voss start arguing and Voss has got a respect issue if you think you fucking don't talk to me I said

something like dude shut the fuck up you don't fucking tell me to shut the fuck up to assert himself he got so he's like oh you don't fucking you know who i am you don't fucking talk to me whiz he's screaming at me on this dinghy and then give it with john melkovich his arm was over the side of the boat and the guy's not even listened to us and just drove the boat and hit the other boat with his arm frost almost lost his fucking arm it's not like he uses it to write. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was fucking on the ground hollering. Wasn't that movie being removed too, like one of those, like when people start just lumping someone as a quote unquote bad person, like it almost gets confused in the press.

Cause I remember them saying like, like the movie was taken out, it goes, cause of all things this movie, it's got an underage relationship. It's like, so that's a little art imitating life. And you're like, he had nothing to do with the underage. I guess it was. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one of the sisters, fucking, oh my gosh. Oh, Hannah and her sisters?

Not Hannah, no, she was, she's a real life, god damn, but she was young underage, Manhattan, whatever, and would he dated her or liked her when she was really young? I think he went out with her when she was young and then they were like, oh, after all this stuff. Well, Louis had, Louis had to trip, distribution, oh, I can't say it. Distribution. Distribution, thanks. He had uh, I can't say it. Distribution.

Distribution. Thanks. He had distribution and he had, he didn't have to buy it back. They were on the hook for that. But he's such, at that time, was like, I don't want to fuck them like that. Right. Rather own it. Mario Heavyweight?

He gave him the money back. He gave him, I think like five million, which he didn't have to do. They had to, he could have said, fuck it, you own it, I have that money, you can do what you want with it. He actually said, take your money back, I'll hold the movie. He's gonna release that someday.

And it's gonna be pretty wild to see what happens. Because of Voss? Just because of Voss. Just because of how he almost lost his writing. Watch this dunce almost lose his arm. Watch it dunce. Ah! You know what I think would have been better if his fucking watch got ripped off?

It fell to the bottom of the leg. It just like, like fucking the, the, the Gilligan's Island. The retarded Gilligan and a fatter captain. I looked up Alan Hale on time. He was like a good looking guy when he was younger, like a legit, when you find these old like sitcom guys and you see what they did in the 50s. Back in the day. Yeah, like, what was he doing? Dashing some of them.

Some of them were dashing. Well, they all had the same, like, you know, every, they had the side slick tear always. Every famous person in the 50s looks exactly like every picture of my grandfather young. Right. And that's the funniest thing too It's look at those pictures and you go look at my grandfather with a sharp 55 year old distinguished gentleman

He's he's 19 years old. Yeah Well, it's funny to the fat back then in Hollywood Wasn't really fat like don't fat so the movie fat so Dom Del Louise is not fat like that's like my goal weight Hollywood fat. Yeah, Hollywood fat. Like that's like my goal weight. Hollywood fat. Yeah, Hollywood fat. That was a great movie by the way. My favorite movie of all time. That, the end was funny too with Bert Reynolds.

Wasn't he in that too? I know Bert Reynolds was in it. Was it Dom Del Louise? The end as Bert Reynolds first directorial debut and he, there's a scene with Dom Del Louise where Bert tries to kill himself and he wakes up in the insane asylum and Dom is there in a suit.

And he's talking to him and as the camera slowly pans back you realize that Dom is a patient because he's not wearing pants. Oh, it's funny. And he goes, it's one of the funniest scenes ever in the end. I love Dom Delouise. I think Dom Delouise's best work is Peter Delouise, his son who did many seasons of 21 Jump Street. And he wasn't even a pizza the the pizza sitcom to

Who two guys a girl in a pizza place? Yeah, he was in there. I think Because there was also another one. There's another younger one that was in Wayne's world Michael Delewies, I believe Tom's best work was with the the room service guy He did yeah, I told you, I met him. Oh! He tried to, I was, when we were moving in LA, we put all our stuff out on the lawn, but I had like a couch and all this really fancy furniture.

And the lady next door was like, listen, you want to sell all your stuff, you got like pants and shoes and sneakers and old stuff like dad jackets and socks and Well, I was like, I'm gonna give it to goodwill and she's like no put it out dollar everything The Mexicans will come and they'll they want to they'll buy all that for you and they'll take the other stuff Sure enough dude. I put all the stuff out jackets and pants. I was gonna get to it fills up It's just all Mexican. I look over there's a coup de v, two to a Lincoln. I look in it's Dom Delouise. And I'm out

there, you know, hot Bobby at the time, right? And I didn't even know he was. Hey, Dom, you want one of my half tops? My socks? I think I did have a half top. I pull up, I go, Yo, Dom, what's, I'm like, I can't believe it's you. It's Dom Delouise. He goes, kid, how much for the egg thing? I had two, I can't believe it's you. It's Dom Delouise. He goes, kid, how much for the egg thing? I had two, I had a microwave egg cooker and a one you plug in that cooks eggs hard boiled. And he goes, I go, dude, you can have it for free.

Just sign something for me. I won't take your dollar. Your dollar's no good here, Dom Delouise. Yeah, exactly. Here, come here, put my dick in your mouth. And I go, I go, you know, take this new, it's the new one, the plug in, the microwave one's brand new. I never use it.

He goes, nah, I don't like microwave stuff. Give me the other one. I go, but there's egg on it. He goes, I don't give a shit. And he gave me a dollar and he signed it. And I still have it to this day. Oh, you do. And then he was like, what do you do, kid?

And I'm trying to talk it up. I'm just trying to get him to hang out a little. I didn't do it was gay at the time either. I would have fucking sucked him off right in the car. He, I go, I'm a standup comedian. I was so excited that he, that was gonna be the thing. You are? And he went, ha ha, and he just went,

and he fucking peeled away. And then he died. Yeah, he wasn't into you. Yeah, that kind of bummed me out. That must have hurt, huh? Yeah. I like when someone pays a lot of attention to you, and then you realize that they're gay, it goes, that's nice, that feels nice. Yeah, huh? Yeah. I like when someone pays a lot of attention. I always, uh, when someone pays a lot of attention to you and then you realize that they're gay, it goes, that's nice. That feels nice. Yeah. It feels better.

I've had gay guys that, uh, who have it. Barry Sobel took me on a hop to my car for a couple of circles around the city before. That means he was trying to get a little piece of the action. Yeah, he wanted a little J here. Yeah. You want him to shot? That makes you feel sad. He drives around, he goes,

hangs out with like a new young comic. He hangs out and then he's definitely trying to like hook up with him. I was like, shut up. Sure, Barry, I'll drive you from the comic strip to the comedy cellar. Dude, I'd love to hear your new freestyle raps. Dad, dude, please show me all the cruising spots on the West Side.

I didn't even know they were there. Yeah, sure, you dress like Oli G in 2010. Let's do it, dude. I got hit on, there was a guy when I was drunk, I was a devil worshiper and I'm sorry stop stop stop what? I thought I was a teenager. What do you mean you thought you were a devil? What goes into that? It's been some light high school devil worship dude. Yeah it was the 80s buddy it was 80s. I'm sorry we weren't all raised awesome like you Bob. We're doing coke at ten years old.

Exactly. What'd you go to Hot Topics and get fangs? What makes you think that? I just was a little devil's boy. What does that mean? Did you have a book? I had a few books. What was a book called? The Satanic Bible, some things about Aleister Crowley. It was all childish attention seeking.

Did you have other people that were in it with you? Did you have a woods meeting spot on a stone? No. No. What did you? That's what I was going to say. Did you make like other people that were in it with you? Did you have like a woods meeting spot on a stone? No, no. That's what I was gonna say. Did you make some sort of, the big thing to do in the 80s was to go make some sort of, like a shrine or something.

I have a thing in the woods with some melting candles and maybe a goat head. I did things in the woods, but it was not that. It was. Some would say it was the devil's work. It was not completely unrelated, but. I mean, it's in the Bible. Yeah.

Yeah, Leviticus would not have been happy. But wait a minute. I just need to know, like how did, was it just you or the other people involved? I just thought I was cool. Did you have a leader? No, there was no coven. It was just suburban fruit Norton. But was there a house on the block that nobody went to? Because the Satan guy was there?

Mine. Oh, nobody. No, no, no. You just got into being a Satan worshiper by yourself. I thought it'd be cool. Again, in the 80s, that was like the height of rebellion. Like now, it's like you're just a douche in a larker. But in the 80s, you were just an evil boy. Oh, yeah. Well, the West Memphis 3. Same thing.

That's right. If you had just two more friends, they would have thought you're capable of something terrible They were like this guy's shit by himself in the woods. He ain't hurting anybody Leave him alone. He just blew three old guys No one guy I forget how I met I used to drink with this older guy and this one friend of his The guy had like a sports car and he told me that he was into devil worship too and I was really drunk and I remember he drove me to like the lake and he told me he was the son of the devil would you try to get the devil juice out of it

but I wanted him to be the devil's son so bad what a connection yes he yells above junior did you pull out your frankincense and myrrh out of your pocket? No, I give myself credit because I was a complete fucking weenie, but we were looking out at the lake and he goes, you can see my father's eyes in the lake. And I wanted to see the devil's eyes so bad. But I couldn't. You listen, you had the gayest childhood. Dude, I didn't see the devil's eyes, but I told him no, I don't see. You had the gayest childhood. Dude, I didn't see the devil's eye, but I told him no I don't see.

You didn't? Did you try? I told him, oh, you've never seen anyone trying to see little red eyes. I wanted to see them. And then we were talking and he goes, you know, someday you will make love to me. Really? Did you know? That's nice though.

No. What did you say? Again, in credit to me, I said, if you touch me, I'll kill you. You know that? That's nice though. No. What did you say? Again, in credit to me, I said, if you touch me, I'll kill you. You said that? I did say that. Yeah, which was crazy. I'll kill you with love.

I don't know why I said that. By the way, though, that does say, it does imply, it goes, I'm never going to rape you. Eventually you will make love to me. Yeah, you saw us together long term. Me, him and his devilish dad sitting by the lake making love. 15 year old boy and a 40 year old man. I still remember listening. That Stern thing came up again on like the Stern history

this week that I was listening to was the people calling in about Uncle Eddie from Philly. Oh, the pizza box guy, yeah. The guy who would just like buy your dirty underwear. And I said, it's such a hilarious phrase. I don't know if you'd call him a charmer Lester because you'd only do whatever you allowed him to pay you to do, and if you said nothing, you could leave.

Like, it was a filly thing. But talk about a guy, like such a terrible, heinous person, especially as a parent, you understand that, for sure, what a piece of shit this guy was. But how much everyone lamented him going away and dying? Did he go to jail? He ended up going to jail for tax stuff and then they kind of exposed everything

and then he ended up dying in jail. But he was like, no one, like all the kids, there's no kids that sent letters like, this monster ruined my life. They're like, oh man, now I have to get a job. We should just go over to Uncle Eddie's and you would just piss and shit in front of him or give him your underwear and he just throw you

a bunch of cash and we'd go to the mall. When they drop a deuce at a pizza box, these guys are shitting at pizza box. Yeah, back in the day he just got diddled and took the hit. Like a man. But they weren't even, he said they would, they said he would always ask like he wanted to do more and if you were like, but they used to do, he was like an old like, he was like a dorky guy.

So you could be like, shut up Eddie, no one's gonna fucking suck your dick. I was like, okay, here's your $100. Now get out of here. He'd just give the money and there we go. I wish you're still around. I'd go there tonight. Yeah What is this on street corners of workless neighborhood of Grace fairy teenage boys talked openly today of uncle Ed or fast Eddie They told what he paid for their socks underwear and excrement and what he offered to pay for sex That he's been memorialized in graffiti for to pay for sex, that he's been memorialized in graffiti. Wow.

How much was sex? I don't know what he would offer you. How much for a log? But I'll tell you what. Easy way to make a buck. I'll tell you what, in the 80s? I can't. Oh, I could have.

I got protein dumps. He asked for a 50% discount. I'll have to be in a bowl. Well, you consider I'm from Philadelphia. So when you hear that story, I do remember, like no kids were in like dismay at this. When they like, when it first came out, they were starting to think in schools,

like look out for someone who would be looking for you. When that news became big, they're like, now we gotta look for people like this or in Philadelphia, you know? We gotta keep our eye out for this. And everyone that was young, like my age, was just like, damn dude, just give him like $25 just to take you on to work.

Like I'll just bring an extra pair in my pocket every day and give him the ones off my, like you want the ones off me? You want to cut them off, Uncle Eddie? Is that all we're doing here? Take it dude. You're like a magician's assistant. I used to break away.

He goes grabbing the back and just rip him right out. Breakaways. I want to know what the guy, cause here's a funny thing about that guy who took you out there, Satan's son. Yeah, he must have. He must have. At some point because you're your success

and you've been on so much stuff, just been sitting there on watching TV or listening to something and just say, that dude I took to the lake and showed him my Satan's eyes and tried to fuck that. I wonder you Maybe 15. How was he? Oh Late 30s. Oh, so he didn't grow out of it. That's right. He was there

Yeah, that guy was trying to rape you by a lake. Yeah It was a nice. He was just an insecure rapist. I will fuck you someday, right? I want you to want to I want you to want this too. He thought he was gonna trick me and I was gonna be like oh the devil's son I gotta give him some ass and in fair I give myself credits I was such a little wannabe nerd I didn't. What was his first name? He tried to role play role play with the fucking second instead. I mean I give hats off to his creativity though. He definitely wasn't a molester hack. He wasn't even into the devil he was just like I had to get this little bitch. A better, a better

thought-out molesting plan for being the son of the devil though was to introduce himself to you at all times with a much more nefarious name of some sort of baphomet the second or something. Yeah. It's pretty funny to be Tony, sure for Anthony. Yeah. This is I'm the devil's son, Anthony. Yeah. But you can call me Tony. And you should have like some slight a hand magic maybe pulled out a devil coin from your ear more of this will come yes he goes oh I don't know would the devil son not be able to do this and Scarves out of his hand You gonna tell me now Jim young James, I don't want to scare you with the powers of darkness, but watch me remove my thumb

My father wanted me to show you this. What's that dad? Oh you want to give him a little taste of the dark stuff? Watch my thumb there. I've got your nose. Put it back! Hail your father! If you want my kiss bell buckle, if you want my powers, there's only one juice that will give it to you. Yeah, I meant him through somebody else. I never, I don't know if I've seen him around, but I would see him around once in a while. And he was a weird guy.

Everybody knew he was a weird dude. He's probably dead now. And how old were you, you said? Probably about 15. Were you, how, at what age were you like, given the free time to kind of just wander? I was pretty young for that, too. Yeah, me too. Back then it wasn't dead. Like 10, 11, were you like, given the free time to kind of just wander? I was pretty young for that too. Yeah, me too.

Back then it wasn't. Like 10, 11 I was probably. Maybe even 9 I was coming home from school by myself with a key on my neck. No, I was coming home from school earlier than that. I'd walk home and walk to school. I know, Bobby. You already fucking beat AIDS by the time you were 12 and stopped doing heroin. I think we went to school by ourselves in first grade, right?

First grade, I don't think so. I think first grade I was good. But I'm telling you, by the time I think I was like 9 or ourselves in first grade, right? First grade, I don't think so. I think first grade, I was going to tell you, by the time I think I was like nine or 10, I was definitely, definitely, I was definitely coming up by myself. Yeah, considering my childhood, I had a lot of a long time.

And when you went to the park, you used to just go by, there was no, I don't remember ever seeing a parent at the park. No, you just went to the park, that was where kids hung up. Well, parents would ruin all the fun. Yeah, yeah, now you go to a park, it's all fucking. Parents, just, oh yeah. Yeah, and they're all the fun. Yeah. Yeah. Now you go to a park, it's all fucking parents. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And they're all in their dumb phones. This is cock-blocking the kids. Cock-blocking Jesus. Just helicoptering. Yeah, cock-blocking. Ruinings sand, sandbox finger blasts. Yeah, it's just a guy with a guy on a teetops Camaro

with a cape waiting for the parents to leave. Oh, yeah, the once in a while, the weekend dads of the park is the best. How funny if it actually was Satan's son? He's just a fucking loser. Yeah, turned out he was just, yeah, Satan's fat disappointing kid. If you never get an evil going.

It's like a little nicky. It just sucks. All you had to do to get back into hell was to get this little career to suck his dick and he couldn't do that. He couldn't pull it off. I have something to tell you, Jim, now that you're older, I'm not Satan's son. I sucked your dick for nothing.

Yeah. Come on. I was only in this for the, for the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, the Satan. So you would tell this to, I just, I think it's fascinating that you were a Satan worshiper by yourself. Yeah. I was just a little fruit. Candle budget was low though. You don't. A lot of candles when it's just you know, but I remember I would cut myself with a

raise when I signed my like a devil's oath on my bedroom door and my blood. What was the oath? What was the lyrics from a song? What song? Please remember. I know it was. Oh, God, please tell me it was merciful fate. oath the oath how's it go? Let me I can sing it to you little bring it up in two seconds two seconds. Yeah, I can't wait When did you were you in Ozzie and should already that point? Oh, yeah? My school pictures have like sophomore junior year. I'm wearing Ozzie shirts cuz that'll do it. Yeah sure I probably let me down that path. Ozzie. Okay. Well cuz once you find it's cool

Cuz like now did you I am leaving or were you just putting out like like an idea that you believe I don't think I believed it in any seriousness like you just think you look cool doing it you think that you're different like for the same reason every other young douchebag you know what I mean I wasn't them they I was devil of the devil worshipper I wasn'tipper I was the devil you're it You wanted something to make you different. Yeah, there's it I don't remember. I wish I could remember like the the complete style shifts in my life

And when they came because it's got to be a thing where you just stop one and start doing another. Yeah I mean it won't buy I wore I mean I tried everything Painter hats backwards with my bangs combed up on them. I don't even know what that looked like. With the cardboard brim? Yeah, but the cardboard brim is backwards. And the front bangs were going up over it. I mean, so the, I did the, see, I didn't try to do the, I would have wished I went more with the individuals kids. Well, the smaller grouping of the, you know didn't try to do the, I would have wished I would have went more with the individuals kids, well, the smaller grouping of the, you know,

the piercings with what do you call it, safety pins. Right, right. And the stuff, because in, in honesty, like my music, my organic music taste was more towards what would have been like that, but I always went with the group. So that's why I ended up very quickly, like I'm the fat kid.

Instead of just being the fat rock kid that I probably up very quickly like I'm the fat kid. Instead of just being the fat rock kid that I probably would have been, I just went with everything. I had one strap off overalls. I did every wiggery thing you could possibly get into. I was disco kid. I did the disco for a minute, then I did rock and roll. I never did. My sister got a stroke. She's being beaten and molested and got the summer shirt. The Rocky Har, my sister was Rocky Har. But that's cooler in some way than disco for sure.

100% not cooler. Bobby dude. First of all, all gay. They were weird. They hung out in the woods. They had a car they named Matt. It was a masculine or something like douche what's that douche Christine what's a do massing go massing they name the car massing gale they're a bunch of fucking dweebs so you went disco well so it was less dweeby to have your pants have a two latch

clasp where you have to slide the thing and then button it over to the left more and don't forget my suspenders and I used to cuff up my fucking my My legs no socks. What a stray cat. Do come on. They're cool again. She's fresh fresh Exciting that was way cool. Disco. That's disco. It's our feet fresh. That's that was disco. There's R&B Back of the day you had disco and you had Rock and Roll and that shit was on Disco. Lou, back me up. That's Disco. It feels like it is. That was Disco. It's 100% Disco. It's R&B. It's not R&B. We didn't even know what R&B was until the 90s and 2000s. Back in the 80s, that was Disco. It's a club song for sure. It's Disco. It's a song. You're calling it disco this this song came on I can't I came from disco and then they they had disco sucks

That's why I came in that's when like Molly crew and Van Halen all that shit No disco sucks went to like the synth pop of like the 80s That was like 79 a that was was the disco sucks was the rebellion. Disco sucks was rock when rock came in. We started liking rock. There's some disco I really enjoy. This is great. The song's awesome.

Cool in the gang. This is a great song. Fresh exciting, it's OK. That's a good song. It's not even the best cool in the gang song. I dropped a bomb on you. That's the Gap Band. That's a great song.

And as you dropped a bomb on me. You dropped a bomb on you. You're doing great. I'm dropping a bomb on you. But I dropped that bomb on you. You dropped a bomb on you. You're doing great. I'm dropping a bomb on you. But I dropped that bomb on you. That's your song. What's the word? There was a song I heard recently.

We were watching Soul Train and they were playing something. It was just awful. Jungle buggy. That fucking song stinks. All they do is say that over and over again. It's good. It's good. It's terrible. Let me hear it. Bobby loves cooling the gang.

I want to hear your oath. What's your oath? Did you pick up the... Did you find the oath? Let me hear the oath. Did you find his blood oath? I can hear his blood oath. By the way, I did this similar thing much older by getting Marilyn Manson lyrics tattooed on my arms and then 7000 women said he does weird things to them. I'm like, ooh. better get those covered up. What lyrics?

I gotta, again, this is the word. This is a decision made in my 30s, keep in mind. Forbidden in heaven and useless in hell. It's so, that should have been written in blood on a child's door. That's actually what that guy said, did Norton get him a suck his dick. I have finally learned.

I have finally learned. Get him a suck his dick, sorry. No, not at all. I think you would have wanted to suck mine too. Big fat bottom. But I, that's the name of my next hour. It's taken me a long stretch of road to learn the lesson. Don't get dramatic things tattooed on you when you're sad.

I've done it more than once, and then in the moment you're like, right, this, and then at some point you're jolly and you're dancing or singing in your own car till she's fresh, and you're looking at that and you're going, what the fuck, useless in heaven, forbidden in hell. It's like, now I'm just a guy.

I pose no threat to the world. You didn't cut yourself with an exacto knife and fucking smear it on the back of a door Let me can I hear this no I put it on my arm forever. Yeah, I think that's worse I want to hear his oath his blood oath, it's the whole song by himself You won't be able to understand a word he's saying no you can't how did you understand it I knew the band and the lyrics because he hung out with the devil son you know sand script when your father that was in the Marines came in and get that off my fucking door I think he was just disappointed oh he was just done he knew because Jim speaks Aramaic he's the son of the devil they took took the door off the front door.

All the necronomics and jazz. Damn, what a hilarious thing. Where did that where did that tab show? I cut you up when you said I was in a satanic fucking group. But where were you going with that story? Oh, I remember, no, I was just saying, it was just, it was just, like when you, you have these little identity crisis and that's what the one of the 80s was.

You would tell people you worship the devil and you thought that made you different and cool. Shit. Satanic panic. Yeah. And then it's also, it's not a bad defense mechanism if you're like, cause some people would steer clear of somebody

like claiming to be that, you know what I mean? Sure. It might not catch, you still might catch beatings from jocks who don't buy into that. It might buy you some time with black people who are gonna kick your ass, cause they might. They get scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They get scared of that and magic. Yeah, if you put some juju on them in some way, you know what I mean? You start reading from a book made of human skin, for sure. They're like, what the hell? Jacob, where you going? Where did you go? You don't like Satan talk?

You don't like Satan talk? Did you have to go pray to your statue of a goat with his fingers up? Go to Mendys. What's so funny is the people that are... I really wanted to hate it more. It's still pretty lame that they give a shit so much, but the adults who are into like Satanism,

it's more just like a count. At least the ones I watched like the stuff on, it's just a counter, like, political thing. It's more just to be like, why are you... I thought we're not supposed to have like... You know what it is. Religious statues at government places. So we're gonna put up this thing just to cut. But it's more just to be like, why are you, I thought we're not supposed to have like, religious statues at government places. So we're gonna put up this thing just to cut.

But it's more just like they're disruptors. They're not really like. The Satan Church now is just some middle-aged guy who's not that good looking, trying to get pussy. It's just some guy that come into my house. He has some house he bought. The old church, they were. The 80s into the 90s was the time

that worship Satan did the coolest people were doing it. They had an old church that they bought in one of the neighborhoods in Boston that was a Satan church and the guy was just a fucking middle-aged dude trying to get young pussy yeah and he would invite girls in there and it was pretty much cosplay. It's all pussy based. The guy's name was Anton Zander-Levey and he had his daughter was very attractive and they kind of took it over after he died. But at that time I thought like, this guy's evil,

but I look at it now and he's probably just some shlub with a goatee. Yeah, they're just trying to get laid. It's all vampire shit. It's all twilight bullshit. Again, it's all situationally sound and how it makes sense. I remember, we talked about this in the show a long time ago, but daytime evil, like seeing things are supposed

to be dark in the day. Like I said, Cradle of Filth at 4 p.m. at Osfest was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It's supposed to be dark and evil. When I was waiting in line at Marilyn Manson's book signing when I was like 19 or something, there was a guy waiting in line, and again, he's holding his book to wait to meet Marilyn

Manson. He had all of his teeth filed down the fangs. He was wearing a priest costume with an upside down cross around his neck. But a haircut that says, I do get to work a day job. I do work at Sam Ash. And he had the two contact lenses in. And it's just like seeing him during the day on a Tweety Bird tree line streets, waiting to go into Tower Records, and having to agree when they go,

step over here, so he goes, oh, yes, yeah. She's like moving along. It's so just taking that and the cradle of filth was the same thing. They did a full, they're things like the blood, Norwegian death, yeah, here it is at OzFest. Just daytime and it's supposed to be so dark. Yeah, it just looks, they're being affected by the windy weather.

That fat chick in the back, she's actually hungry, you can see in her face. Look, he has to wear the thing over so it doesn't get wet on his keyboard. He's just playing the piano. He has a tarp over his keyboard. Marilyn Manson had a keyboard player too, it was always so funny.

If you just took that out of like the stage production of how they did it, he's a piano player. He's a dork who knows. He's like, hey guys, sorry out there at night when that blood was falling from the ceiling. I missed an F chord. Pretty wicked. And it did derail the song. My apologies. Dude, look at this guy. Giving 110%. A lot of them when you watch something like that, some of the like, first of all, fate I love, but I never loved watching King Diamond on stage because he fucking plays a lot of air guitar.

I think he's- You don't like air guitar? Not for the lead singer, no. He was such a great frontman, but he has like an upside down cross thing that he holds me like out of bones. And he's a fucking, he's a cool, he's a cool motherfucker. Like he really

like metallic attributed to him. They everyone loves King Diamond but I just don't enjoy watching. Well it's what I said my favorite thing in the world to see live but again like I wanted to see him like cradle filth is so like ridiculous and I said it's just that it can't be during this and you take it out of context. I saw cradle filth one time I guess they were going to New England or something. Because we saw them at a... Is that it? A king diamond, yeah.

We saw them at a rest stop, like in the afternoon, waiting in line at the same McDonald's. One more on our way to Providence or something. And I go, oh, I'd recognize a lead guy. I'm like, that's Kratos Filth. They look like... Like, in there, they're not scary. They're not whatever. It just looks like, they're like, hey, grow up. You wanna go tell them what the fuck you doing?

Don't dress like this at McDonald's, you asshole. You look like idiots. All musicians are nerds. They spent their whole, they're nerds. Every single Bon Jovi, fucking Zeppelin, they're all just nerds that spent their whole. They're fucking Tom Hoh, it was like Harvard educateds that spent their whole life doing music. Music majors, nerds, and then they grew that right time, grew their hair out and

fucking there they are. They put some clothes on. And that's why the 80s, the metal scene, like the hair metal scene popped so big because it was all performance, no like musical like real ability being like the main thing Yeah, I mean everybody had like a musician that was good in the band Yeah, that like the one there like Molly crew was just the older of Mick Mars I'm a Mars like a fantastic classically trained guitar the rest of them were figuring it out on tour Mick Mars is the guy who tried to get Norton to blow him at the On tour Hey, mcmarz is the guy who tried to get Norton to blow him at the Hey, if you do this we can shout at the demo together

He would be miss Neil while he's taking his pants off. Hey, you want to meet miss Neil? That's a song he wrote from that night Jimmy Pagers into that stuff too like he was big He bought Alistair Crowley's old houses Jimmy pay Payne, I think they would record in his old, like where he lived. He was big on that stuff. And then the guy, that's, Marilyn Manson had the same problem though, that a couple of these people had.

Trent Resner to some degree too, is Trent Resner did a pretty good move though. He kind of just, he's behind the scenes so much that he just, he pops back every couple years and he looks different, but you're like, he does the show, he kind of puts on the dark shit and like, you know, the pain all over his face and stuff

and just goes and does that dark performance. But in life, he looks pretty normal now. You know what I mean? Like Marilyn Manson can't, poor guy just, he has to still keep that thing, but he's fat now. And like, but he still has to, you know, his hair starts like three quarters into his head and comes out, it's like always some weird look

and it just doesn't age well at all. It's like comics who do characters, like certain, certain like childlike or innocent characters when they're 15 or they're just say 25, when you see them when they're 55 doing an acutely. I hate to throw a name out there on it because I'm always wondering what happened. I'm sure he's still doing comedy,

but when I came into comedy, Mitch Fattel was still pretty like going. Like he was still bumping. He was already done like tonight's show and stuff, but he was just like a touring. Yeah, yeah. And then he worked at the cellar whenever he was in town a bunch.

And then like, I wonder what's happening. Is he just 60 and going, beep, beep, do do, pop, beep, boop, boop. Everyone's like, what the fuck is he doing? He's still, he was just on a counter show. He's still touring. He's still doing stand-up. He married a hot, hot, smoking hot. Hot swinger and his swingers.

He's got a big piece. Does he? Ah, good for me. He's got a big piece. Oh, I didn't know that. That's what, yeah, because I always wanted, he always had hot chicks. He dated that girl comic that used to be smoking hot,

April Macy. For a while. Yeah. In like her great years. I mean, her prime years. He dated her? Dated. They lived together. I think they were like doing it for a while. He's got a big mule and he's into some weird shit. He had a podcast with Corey Sennig in Colorado. He did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was out in Colorado. He was

doing good last time I saw him. Is that his wife currently? Damn. Yeah. He's he's torn dude. He's torn. Yeah. He's doing all right. Still looking exactly the same. I'm curious to what the routine, because it said it's touring. He's doing all right. Still looking exactly the same. No, I'm saying I'm curious to what the routine, because it said it's character. I mean, when you do that, it's hard to, dude, Angel Salazar. I worked with him at Caroline several times towards like the kind of like down swing of her, and it's like, it's awkward to watch. Oh, it was really awkward.

Remember September 11th, that Thursday, we, the building, sorry. What year? I was 2000. He was on the show, we were all on the show that Thursday at the seller, kind of, we were all telling, if we were on the plane that crashed. Oh, I remember. What would our, how would we not crash? Save the day, how would we save the day?

We were all going up trying to do that, because it was so awkward to do comedy. But then Mitch Fittell went up in the middle of all this and he's like, Guba Gaba Guba, penis. And we gave him so much shit. I don't remember. We remember Patrice like you phony motherfucker. People just died and you went, Gooby Gooby Gabby Gooby.

All I remember was nine, 10, 2001 was the last time that comedian Hood ever lifted his shirt to show his fucking bomb rack. That was his closing bit. No, no, no, it wasn't. He started opening with it after that. Let me tell you something, that week, Mani had him cut, he wasn't working the club. After 9-11 that week, Mani brought him,

he goes get him on the show. We all ran down, because we knew his clothes was the bomb thing. Remember we all ran it? He did it, yeah. So he threw a bomb and he used to do some joke at the end about them laughing and then he'd lift his shirt up and he had a fake bomb.

And he had to bring with him everywhere he went to do comedy. Could you imagine having to have a thing with you at all times? Especially that. He had to fly with a gig, buy a new one when you land. Hey, Uber driver, do you know where I could find fake sticks of dynamite this time? You just have to fight with red paint and toilet paper rolls. But that was crazy, yeah. Everyone's fantasy, everyone had our fantasies, our daydreams of how we would have, but I

remember Patrice's ended with him going, he would do something and then he'd get into a cab and go, now take me to Brooklyn. And it wasn't meant to be like that was his thing. And Keith's, this is how stupid Keith was. He was? Yeah, but even then he was a dope. He said his fantasy was that he would recognize the guys were terrorists.

So getting onto the airplane, he would punch the flight attendant. And when he would start punching them and he would go, those guys are terrorists. And he thinks that by punching her It would bring police attention. I said you fucking ask well, they would just arrest you Then the biggest strongest guy on the plane would already be detained We have to wrap this up. We're gonna wrap it up. Hey, so listen you got a new show at Nikki

Yeah, at Nikki and Jim and Y. Sword fights the new the name of the. What's the logo going to be? We're working on it now and you're going to I think you're going to like it. It's going to be a little sword and a big sword. Possibly. Possibly what we're working on. Yeah, I think make them to scale. Make them both. And you did something weird this week with your show. You did like almost the the vlog part that turned into the podcast. We just started some show stuff beforehand if we can. I kind of liked it. We like doing both but

we have the first attempt second at the right time. Yeah, it's like the you're in the vlog and you're hearing the sound and all of a sudden it just turns into the podcast and the sound is perfect and the background's up. That was when their thing turned on and you shoot that at gas digital right? Yeah, yeah, but we tried another studio too with a natural background We wanted to use not green screen all the time and this is is the vlog gonna go away or is it gonna be the No, but it'll probably be more podcast cuz it's less work to do like it's hard to get things shot and edited because the person Who's doing it is going back to school for her masters. You need a video you need a video person. I need a video I go show liable. Yeah, well, I't wait. You got to come back on with Nikki

She was she loves you guys. Yeah, we really have affection for you guys and she loves you too, especially on the boat You took good care of me. She never forgets that She loves you very much doing the boat Christine. We brought weed on That'd be a great story. She wants a threesome eventuallyesome eventually. She wants to fuck a girl I think. A girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. There you go. Nice. Christine, you're in. Christine's wicked eyes just lit up. Should go to a lake and look for the devil's eyes with Nikki. I was reading witchcraft books. It doesn't be great. Jim's going to be on tour with dates coming up in California and Petaluma, Santa Cruz and Monterey.

After that, Austin, Texas, the comedy mothership, Oklahoma City, Dallas and Houston, Texas for tickets and all tour dates. Visit JimNorton.com. Thank you so much. I love you guys. Thanks, man. Thanks Jay, Bobby. I love you, man.

Thank you so much for coming. It's good to see you. Catch me and Bobby at the Paramount 21st. Listen, it's Thursday it's Thursday was probably sold out or there's five to six hundred tickets still left yeah I don't know for sure it may have been a crazy two days since we recorded this I'm saying that it's probably close to sold out more than likely close to sold out but if not you can still probably invite a hundred or

so your closest friends we're gonna, next caller gets 300 tickets. We're going to give away some tickets next week on Monday, so make sure if you want to watch them. We're giving away the remaining tickets. We're giving away 450 tickets. It's your birthday. No, make sure you check it out. It's at the Paramont in Huntington, New York, Thursday, March 22 22nd 8 p.m. It's a great day. It's a Thursday

We're gonna have a good time We have some guests coming down and we're gonna have a lot of fun So come down get your tickets and make sure you check out big J. I'm in Kansas City this weekend. You're in Comics Roadhouse this weekend. So it's gonna be you're gonna have a good time there with the drag Queens I believe in you. I can't you get a great Robert Kelly live big a comedy live check out our YouTube pages Everybody thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show I believe in you. I can't. You're gonna be great. Robert Kelly Live, Big J Comedy Live. Check out our YouTube pages. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show.

If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robertkellylive.com to check out our stand updates coming to a city near you. Crap, crap. Crap, crap. Crap, crap.